January 20, 2025 • 58 mins
On this episode of the Professional Interns Podcast, Jamie and Noah discuss sayings that aren't sayings, (probably) cheating girlfriends and the worst strategy anyone has ever had for picking up women.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Alamoni, more like all of my money.
(00:10):
I'm sorry, let's do this pod.
Hey guys, welcome back to the professional interns podcast.
It's a podcast where two friends realized
that they're in love, but one of them doesn't know it yet.
Noah, how's it going?
It's going, which one doesn't know it yet?
Anyways, this is a comedy advice podcast.
You write in to us, we give you some advice,
(00:33):
good, bad, in between, you get the whole spectrum.
You get our opinion, that's for sure.
If nothing else, you get our opinion.
Yeah, and you can write those
to the professionalinternspodcast.gmail.com.
Please send us questions.
I don't wanna have to, some of these questions
are pulled from Reddit, some are actual submissions,
(00:54):
but I don't wanna go on Reddit anymore,
so please send us questions.
You said some are actual submissions, I think we got one.
We got one legitimate question here, boys.
It's a good question, so you know.
It's a great question.
But we're gonna jump into that later.
We've got a few things we wanna dive into sooner than that.
Noah, today is a very important day.
(01:15):
It's actually tomorrow, and it will be a week gone
when this podcast gets released.
But tomorrow is National Kiss of Ginger Day.
Wow. What are you doing?
Wow. How are you celebrating?
Well, Jamie, sounds like we gotta go get drinks,
is what it sounds like.
How many?
But like, how many does it take, you know?
(01:37):
I think less than you would expect.
It's a big win.
That's a big win for us.
Dude, I can't wait till Wattpad starts going crazy
with the Noah Jamie war.
Wattpad.
No, but I do wanna point out what national day it will be
when this releases.
(01:57):
I do wanna give a special shout out
that January the 16th, which is after this is recorded
and before it releases, is Appreciate a Dragon Day.
So hopefully you guys appreciated a dragon.
Noah, you and I have a little bit of time
to actually go find a dragon, appreciate them.
Appreciate a dragon.
Like Game of Thrones?
Or is this like a-
(02:18):
Hey, however you celebrate, you know?
It's also no name calling week, so knock it off.
What is this list you're pulling right now?
So, my bad.
Sorry, I can't celebrate holidays.
Oh, okay.
Thought we were in America.
Freedom of religion, Noah.
Religion, national name calling,
(02:39):
national no name calling day.
No name calling week, so knock it off.
It's a religious day, yup, yup.
I know something we wanted to get into
is we wanted to go look at sayings that aren't sayings.
The idioms, is that one of the words for it?
I did not pay enough attention in English class,
(02:59):
so that's why I've referred to them exclusively
as sayings that are not sayings.
Okay, so we want to go into a few sayings
that are not sayings.
Some of these are pulled from the internet.
Some of these we came up with.
Some of these I heard at my job, I'll be honest.
You pulled yours from the internet?
Not all of them, just like I think two of them
are pulled from the internet.
I was in the lab for all of mine.
(03:20):
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
A lot of these I heard at work.
We have a, at our old job, at my current job,
you end up, you get into marketing,
you get a lot of eccentric people
that love to do some eccentric sayings.
And then you're like, is this serious?
And then you're kind of like, no, no, no, it's serious.
And this is just how they talk.
Like, especially when you start getting up there,
(03:43):
you talk to like owners and stuff and you're like,
oh yeah, this is just, this is them as people.
Nothing wrong with it, but the sayings come out
and the sayings are great to continue.
We got to spread those sayings.
We want to share them with the masses.
I've never heard more sayings
than the year I worked in the marketing agency.
I don't think, I haven't heard really any since,
(04:03):
but I was hearing them a lot when I was there.
I think it's a marketing thing.
I think it's a marketing thing.
I think it's maybe a little bit of a gimmick thing.
Just, you got to sneak them in.
So Jamie, do you want to kick this off?
Yeah, keep in mind, I've been out of the agency game.
There we go, got it out for a fair little bit now.
So let's see, first off,
(04:25):
we've got putting from the fairway, right?
Oh, he's putting from the fairway.
It's a long shot.
You're kind of in over your head
and you're not going about it right.
So my first one is success is just failure in a nicer suit.
I like that.
Like, you know, failure is one is always,
(04:49):
you're always discovering something with failure.
You discover something with success too.
It's just, you know, failure in a nicer suit.
It's a better way of failing, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because you always hear like the,
you got to fail a thousand times to succeed
and stuff like that.
There's a million of those kind of quotes.
So I like that, I like that.
My next one, only one going in the Hall of Fame.
(05:12):
He's the only one going in the Hall of Fame.
It's when somebody isn't matching the vibe.
They're going way too hard.
I think that's, I think it's a good one.
A lot of situations where somebody kind of
doesn't catch the vibe and you go,
yeah, he's the only one in the Hall of Fame.
Or maybe you go out to a bar drinking too much.
Yeah, he's the only one going in the Hall of Fame.
(05:33):
I got, I like it.
It's kind of mint.
I like it.
I've got, we've got too many cooks in no recipe.
You got everyone working on a project,
but there's no plan.
You know, you get the whole team together
and everyone comes in and everyone's expecting someone else
to come with the recipe.
Nobody brings the recipe.
What the hell are you supposed to do?
Too many cooks, no recipe.
(05:54):
Sneak that into like a meeting.
And I'll tell you right now, people will be like,
you're right, you're right.
Let's get that recipe down first
and then we can get the cooks working.
You get in a meeting of a couple managers.
Oh, that quote is spicy.
That one's hitting pretty nice.
This one, this is one I actually use in my day-to-day life.
(06:17):
I will say it's not purely original,
but I love breaking out a quick,
da-da-da, da-da-da.
That's the ESPN jingle.
That's the top 10 jingle.
Yes, yep, the top 10.
So like hitting them with that.
You know, when I was a kid,
I remember like watching Sports Center in the morning
and I would always be waiting for that top 10.
(06:39):
That was the real peak of it.
And you know, you hear that jingle
and they're like number nine.
So, you know, whenever I see one of my boys do something cool,
maybe like they throw something in a trash can
from far away.
Da-da-da, da-da-da.
My next one is we're basically rearranging dirty laundry
and calling it a fresh load.
(07:00):
What the hell?
You know, you're trying to make things
feel like they're done and they're not done.
You're rearranging a project
to try and make it seem complete when it's not complete.
You gotta get back down to those grassroots,
get back down to those brass tacks and fix it.
You gotta do the load.
We're rearranging dirty laundry, calling it a fresh load.
(07:20):
It's not a fresh load.
Let's get it fixed.
I like that.
I like that.
It's definitely, that's a big marketing one.
Like I know we might be the only marketing people
here in this, but you're really resonating
with your audience of me.
So.
That is the goal.
That is the goal.
Yes, just for me.
Okay, few more here.
(07:41):
Big gun, no bullets.
I feel like that was pretty self-explanatory.
All talk, no show.
All bark, no bite.
You know, that's already a saying,
but I feel like that was a good one.
So this one, a little bit more PG-13.
You know, you gotta, you know,
sometimes you can sneak this in.
You gotta read the room first.
Maybe make sure you know what the corporate,
(08:05):
what the corporate structure is here.
But this project is like a one night stand,
rushed messy and we'll regret it in the morning.
It's incomplete.
It's incomplete.
The project, it's rushed messy
and you'll regret it in the morning.
You gotta reassess.
Don't go for the one night stand of a project.
You want the relationship of a project.
So figure out how to get there.
(08:27):
This one, you gotta use it the right time.
Can't be, you gotta be established at the office
to break that one out.
And it's gotta honestly be like a day out
from like the meeting or presentation,
whatever like the thing is.
You gotta kinda like lean back
after struggling over something for five hours,
be like, this project's a one night stand.
(08:51):
And I feel like that'd get people going.
I think it would get people to reassess their position
is what we're going for here.
My next one, dude, I think this one,
I think it's a good one.
I think this might be my best one.
Left pushing in chairs, like cleaning up after others,
fixing others' mistakes.
(09:12):
You know when you go out to a restaurant
with a bunch of people and everyone gets up to leave
and no one pushes in their chair,
and you're like, okay, I'm not gonna do that to them.
You're left pushing in chairs, you're cleaning up,
saying thank you to the waitress, have a nice night,
sorry, we were a lot.
You know, left pushing in chairs.
I like that one.
(09:33):
My next one is one that came up on a meeting
and we were trying to figure out
how important the person was that we were talking to.
And one of the higher ups dropped this banger on the call
and goes, what type of wigs are we talking about?
We talking about big wigs, little wigs,
do they even wear wigs?
(09:53):
You're assessing the person you are talking about.
So you need to figure out, is this a big wig?
Like this person's upset, are we talking about
a big wig that's upset?
Do they even wear a wig?
Are we just talking to the marketing guy's assistant?
Or are we talking to the CEO?
What type of wig are we talking about?
Big wigs, little wigs, do they even wear wigs?
(10:15):
It's a great saying, sneak it in there.
Your boss is probably hyped after whipping that out.
He knew he was taking a shot.
Mic drop moment.
Mic drop moment.
My last one, again, 100 and original.
Maybe it's a thing already,
but I thought of it in the shower.
Pet sitting a fish.
You know?
(10:35):
It sounds stupid, but you just gotta do it.
Maybe you're going to something with
like your significant other you don't want to.
But you know you gotta.
Yeah, I'm just pet sitting a fish.
You know, it's gotta be done.
It's not glamorous, it seems kind of silly,
but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I like it, I like it.
(10:56):
And my last one here is,
this isn't a hill I'd die on, but I might just pitch a tent.
That is, that actually might be your best.
This isn't a hill to die on, but I might just pitch a tent.
You know, you want this point to get across,
but it's not the end all, you know?
We want this presentation to go forward
(11:17):
and we really should make this move,
but if we don't, I think there's an argument worth being had.
I might start a fight with my girlfriend
just so I can whip that out.
Like I'm not gonna lose the relationship over this,
but I am gonna fight on this one, you know?
Yeah, yeah, we're not getting Chinese food tonight.
We did it twice this week.
(11:38):
It's not a hill I'll die on,
but I might just pitch the tent.
You know, maybe we got Chinese, but it really isn't the goal.
It's not the hill I'll die on.
There is a Chinese place right near my college house.
And like when I was going to college,
like I'm since graduated, but when I was going to college,
it was in the middle of the pandemic.
So I started, everything was normal,
(11:59):
started going to this place
because it was legitimately two minutes from my house
and it was like $9.
You get General Tso, pork fried rice, crab rangoons
in a nice box.
Dude, I love this place.
COVID hits.
And it's a dirty kind of look in.
It's like one of those houses
that got converted to a restaurant type look.
COVID hits, they shut their doors.
(12:22):
Nothing, hear nothing from them for three months.
And I'm like, well, never gonna see them again.
Like tragedy, I'm heartbroken.
This is the one that got away.
You know, if I could do anything, I'd go back there again.
So like summer hits, I go home, come back the next fall,
places back open, completely shut down their dining room.
(12:45):
Like you walk in, it's like one foot and then wall.
It's sealed up like a bank.
They've got like the two way glass door
where they put the food in.
And then they have like overlapping things for the cards.
So you put the card in, it's like a bank, dude.
They talk through literally big sheet of plastic.
You got the microphone.
(13:05):
You're going to the dispensary version of a,
the dispensary version of a Chinese restaurant.
Dude, it's, and it's still like that.
This place is amazing.
So I love them.
I would do anything.
And I'm not gonna tell you where they are
because I'm gonna gatekeep them.
I'm gonna be honest, I'm gonna gatekeep them.
Jamie is a classic gatekeeper.
(13:26):
He gate keeps everything.
They get enough business.
All right, this podcast isn't gonna do anything.
Me putting that restaurant on the recording,
it just gets you close to my house.
So no.
We turned the OneBite app into a Chinese food Lo Mein app.
Not just Lo Mein, not just Lo Mein.
Let's get pork fried rice.
(13:46):
Pork fried rice, Lo Mein.
I'll meet you in the middle.
Well, we could, we do the double
and we go to every Chinese place.
And try those two.
You know what I'm convinced about?
A little conspiratorial here.
I'm pretty sure almost every Chinese place
probably orders their fried rice just in bulk
from like some big manufacturer
that they add a little bit of oil to,
a little bit of flavor and throw it on.
(14:08):
I feel like a lot of these places
must just get it all from the same place.
Maybe for a Panda Express, I'd say that.
Yeah.
I don't think these local Chinese spots do that.
You don't think so?
I don't think so, because I feel like it's too easy to make.
Like it's not, it's not a complex recipe.
They're probably just throwing in a vat of,
like one of those big walks, like.
(14:29):
Yeah.
A bit of oil, soy sauce, like some MSG,
and then like carrots, peas, you know,
whatever's in it for them.
I went to my, so for New Year's,
we tried to get Chinese, didn't happen.
There was a three hour wait at one place
and I call another place.
They actually unplugged their phone line.
(14:51):
So I go to the place to unplug their phone line
the following day, because me and my fiance,
we were craving Chinese.
I go in there and we got extra egg rolls,
but I'm looking at their, they have like the fryer,
because you fry the egg rolls,
and it is just stacked high with frozen egg rolls.
And I'm like, no way they made those.
They are waiting to drop these egg rolls.
No way they made those.
Those are bulk purchased from somewhere.
(15:13):
Like no way they pre-prepped these.
It's just a little guy.
It's just a little family run one.
Same two dudes always in there.
You know, it's, they also got rid of their seating area,
but I'm pretty sure it's all bulk bought.
But you know, I digress.
I still ate the egg roll and loved it.
So I can only complain so much.
(15:33):
Are we ready to jump into our questions?
Oh, I think we are.
I think we are.
So we're going to start off with a user in one.
You can send these to
professionalinternspodcast at gmail.com.
Noah, what's the email?
The email is mybossosmehundreds.
No, no, no.
The email address.
(15:55):
The email address is professionalinternspodcast
at gmail.com.
And our first email that we had written in,
by a viewer by the way, is as follow, as follows.
My boss owes me hundreds of dollars.
Hi interns.
Hello, I love that, love that intro.
(16:16):
Hey, this is a bit of a complex one.
Don't use my real name.
Okay.
Jamie, we're nervous about their work hearing about
them writing into us.
So won't be using real names.
To sign a successful podcast.
That is the sign.
So basically about a year and a half ago,
my boss asked if I was willing to cat sit for her
(16:37):
for two weeks and told me she wanted me to live in her house
for the duration of the cat sitting about two weeks.
I felt hesitant, but agreed.
She's my boss.
I can't really say no, right?
This was the same boss who'd regularly call me
to scream at me if I did something,
if I did anything wrong and made me cry several times
(16:57):
in the office in front of everyone.
And besides, I figured it would be a nice bit
of extra money.
So I cat sat her, I cat sat for her for two weeks.
The cats were happy and well taken care of.
Though I will admit I did a pretty bad job
taking care of her plants.
None of them died though.
And when my boss came back, she handed me a jar of honey,
(17:18):
which I later Googled and found out was worth $12.
I wasn't happy, but she was mad at me about the plants
and I felt like I wasn't in a position to argue.
A few months later, I'd finally had it with her screaming
at me and ended up calling HR.
They decided the best solution was we'd just never speak
to each other again and another person would be
(17:39):
my go to, would be my go between.
Now I Googled it and two weeks of cat sitting appears
to cost at least a few hundred dollars.
I've tried to bring it up, I tried to bring up the money
she owes me with higher ups, but nothing has ever come
of it.
Is there, is this worth bringing up further?
(18:00):
Should I let it go?
I hate to, I hate to be the bearer of bad news.
You're not getting that money.
You know, I thought that's not a very professional
interns podcast advice.
One, cat sitting, the classic intern job.
(18:21):
I feel like we at our first job did a lot of plant watering.
How that became the intern's job is beyond me.
We'd be doing the plant watering, we'd be doing
the miracle grow and our owner just kept buying plants
and we're like, what are you doing?
There's actually a photo of us watering the plants
that I'll put on screen now.
Wow, you took a photo.
(18:43):
You have a photo saved?
I remember one of our coworkers would water the plants
and she went on vacation.
So she asked me to water the plants.
And then you and I took a photo while we were watering
the plants.
That, I know that photo is going to be amazing, but.
It's a good photo.
Yeah, classic intern job.
(19:03):
You know, you're probably not getting that money,
but if you really want that money,
I'm gonna give you the lowdown right now.
You know how to get into the house.
You got into the house, you know how to get into the house.
I am not liable for anything I say on this podcast.
You could take my advice, you could not take it.
Not liable.
You can get into the house.
If you can get into the house,
that means you can get the cats.
(19:25):
What if you did an impromptu cat sitting at your own house
and while cat sitting, you said, hey, I watched your cats.
Why don't you pay up?
I mean, some might call it a ransom.
Some might call it a ransom.
I'm not someone.
I think you're just continually doing the job.
(19:46):
You're just, she asked you to cat sit.
Maybe you forgot about the time you took the cats.
She said, watch them in your house.
You got confused, watched them in your own house.
Ransom the cats.
I love that.
Still the cats.
Well, there's a few things I want to jump in on.
(20:08):
First, you said, I can't really say no.
You absolutely can say no.
Like you can always say no
in literally every single situation possible.
And I think more people don't realize that.
At times it's rude to say no.
It's also in this case, it's rude to,
it's not too rude to ask,
but depending how she went about it,
(20:31):
if she kind of used that power over you, that's rude.
But yeah, it's not rude to say no.
Sometimes you just can't say it as no.
I think this is a very American culture thing
where we'll be like, hey, can you watch my dog?
And it's like saying, no, I can't do that
because you don't want to,
(20:51):
or for whatever reason sounds very rude.
But if you go, oh, I can't, I'm going out that weekend.
Like I'm going to be away.
I got plans.
Yeah, it's a little white lie.
Throw a little bit of a white lie out there
if you really are uncomfortable saying no,
or just say no, it's not a good fit for me.
But I do see kind of why you did it
because of the nice little-
(21:12):
I'm allergic to cats.
I hate cats, no, I love cats.
Yeah, and I think really,
if this is just kind of an expensive lesson,
you have to, these things you have to agree on beforehand.
Like, it's a little thing with a coworker.
So you don't have to get a contract,
(21:35):
but you need to be like, oh, how much are you going to give me
for watching your cats?
Because that way they can't just pull this scumbag,
here's a jar of honey move.
It's a classic move really.
The jar of honey move is kind of a classic move.
And your work has no way to really step in
and do anything about this.
(21:56):
So unfortunately, there's nothing that's going to happen there.
Also, HR is really weird.
Just kind of rereading the question.
The fact that she's screaming at you
and you brought that to HR and they said,
what if you guys just don't talk?
Dude, what?
What if we put another body in the situation?
(22:19):
Yeah, because you talked to Jim and Jim talks to her?
No, that's so, HR is-
Maybe I don't know the office politics here, but man.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know what your job is.
It sounds like your boss should be fired.
If your boss, like if that's their management style,
screw them, get a new job.
(22:40):
But you know, maybe it's a hard to get job.
Maybe it's a foot in the door.
I don't know your situation too well,
but I'm saying your boss sucks, HR sucks.
This situation sucks.
Kidnapper cats.
There it is, there it is.
All right, the next question.
Girlfriend has a guy friend.
(23:02):
So my girlfriend has a guy friend and he's chill.
I even talked to him on the phone once
and he knows we are dating.
However, my girlfriend told me they talk on Snapchat all day
and when I asked how they met, she won't tell me.
And she said, it's a goofy story.
I asked again today and she pretty much ignored it.
I'm kind of worried and I want some advice.
(23:23):
Dude.
Do you want to break it down or should I?
She's cheating on you, dude.
Dude, nothing good happens on Snapchat.
Nothing good.
You talk to her on Snapchat,
you tell me what happens between you and her on Snapchat
and I'll tell you what happened between her
and that guy on Snapchat.
Nothing good happens on Snapchat.
If they're like, you remember, okay, throwing it way back.
(23:46):
Were you around when Snapchat used to have best friends?
It still does have best friends.
But it wasn't public.
Well, it used to be like,
literally give you like a public hierarchy.
I don't know if I don't, I don't know.
Oh, I'm about to tell you the most cracked,
the most cracked thing ever.
I remember back when I was in high school,
(24:06):
Snapchat had a best friends
and the best friends would list them one to five
and it was public.
So anyone who followed you
could see the other person's best friends.
And I remember I had a buddy
who would randomly send me like 16 snaps.
And I'd be like, dude, what are you doing?
He's like, don't worry about it, man.
I was like, you got it.
(24:27):
Because it would mark me up his Snapchat.
I'm like, who are you burying?
Like, insane, insane.
Snapchat, that must have been the recipe for divorce, recipe.
Yeah, and that divorced a lot of high schoolers.
And I'm telling you, this guy is probably her best friend.
(24:47):
So it's just, you know.
Yeah, I hate to be the bearer of bad news.
I don't know if she has slept with this guy.
I mean, you're younger.
Just by the kind of way this was written,
I had to change it so that more people would understand.
You're younger.
She might not have slept with this guy,
but I'm telling you, in her lifetime,
(25:09):
she will sleep with this guy.
It the best possible scenario
is that she doesn't have feelings for him.
Like she thinks they're just friends,
and he is waiting for your downfall.
But I know a lot of people that this has happened to.
I'm not, no, we're just good guy friends.
Now we're dating.
(25:30):
It happens all the time.
Honestly, this is kind of bad advice, but rip the bandaid.
It's gonna happen eventually, break up.
I just feel like, it's the fact it's on Snapchat
where it's not saved.
It's not like there's no record.
If this was like texting a guy friend
who's kind of chill and cool,
(25:53):
I don't think that's a place
where you have to be super possessive.
I think that's probably okay.
But all day?
Snapchatting, you said all day Snapchatting.
That's kind of, that feels like that
breaks a couple barriers more than texting a guy friend
that's like, hey, what do we got going on?
I don't know.
Even texting a guy friend is just,
(26:15):
it's odd because there's,
I feel like there's some intentions there.
Like maybe if you're younger, younger,
like I remember when I was much younger,
but also technology was different then, I don't know.
But I text people like all day
because I wanted to text them, but like, I don't know.
I feel like if you're doing it now,
it's like someone in that situation has feelings.
(26:39):
And I just think if she's being kind of shady
about stuff to you, she may also have feelings.
Yeah.
So yeah, what we're saying,
the advice we're giving for your girlfriend
having a guy friend she talks to all the time on Snapchat,
me just saying that aloud isn't saying,
just get out of there.
(27:00):
It just feels like this is gonna be,
end up being a fight or it's gonna keep coming up.
And maybe it's just better that
you're just not in that relationship.
Or you have the conversation and she cuts it off.
That's the other option.
You just be like, I'm uncomfortable with this.
And if she respects the relationship,
you say, I'm uncomfortable with this.
I don't think you need to be snapping this guy all the time.
It's a little weird.
(27:20):
It kind of crosses my boundaries.
At that point, maybe you could,
maybe that would remedy the situation
and you would see that she would stop talking to him.
But if she doesn't, then it's just kind of weird
and I would get out of the relationship.
Yeah, I can't believe we gave him advice to break up
before we said that part.
I still kind of stand by the breakup advice though,
because if you ever slip up,
(27:40):
who do you think she's turning to?
She's going to him.
She's like, Jason was mean to me.
And he's like, I would never be mean to you.
I'd never be mean to you.
Look at me without a shirt on.
Like David Dobrik.
So topical.
So on time.
(28:02):
Nailed it, nailed it.
All right, let's jump into the next one, yeah?
Yeah, the next one.
Girl I'm dating has a 1950s fetish.
What should I do?
Girl I'm dating has a 1950s fetish, Jamie.
What are you doing in that situation?
I don't know what the problem is.
(28:22):
Congrats.
I would maybe,
I would probably break out the hair gel, hear me out here.
Break out the hair gel,
break out a nice leather jacket,
start practicing your Elvis impression.
You gotta grow that burning love, baby.
What are we doing?
You gotta start slicking it back, leather jacket.
(28:44):
You gotta start snapping in unison with your friends
when you walk around and she'll be swooned.
She'll be all over you.
It doesn't, honestly, I don't think it's a problem.
I would just go in, I would feed into it.
What's the issue here?
Yeah, I'm gonna give you a little other advice.
Personally, if I got the advice saying,
hey, become like an Elvis impersonator,
(29:05):
it wouldn't work for me.
So go the other direction.
Just start talking with that mid-Atlantic accent.
You know where it's like, no, yeah, baby.
I can't do it too well.
Like an old timey person at a casino flipping a chip.
Oh yeah, baby.
Is that what you mean?
Yeah, yeah.
(29:26):
The ones you'd hear on broadcasts, like, wow, baby.
This is terrible.
Terrible.
Terrible.
This is an impression podcast.
I wanna, it's like a life goal.
I wanna hire an impressionist
to get me really good at impressions.
Oh, dude, I'm terrible at impressions.
I would never do them.
(29:47):
Okay, yeah, so honestly, I think that's all we got for you.
That's all we got.
Start feeding into the 1950s thing.
Become Elvis, start greasing the hair back,
buy a leather jacket, you're fine.
You're good.
It sounds like it would be a fun time too.
What's the issue?
Yeah, hope it works out for you, buddy.
All right, the next one.
Am I becoming too attached to AI?
(30:12):
For reference, I am 17 years old in the mail,
though I will be 18 very soon.
I've been using AI for a few years now
on platforms like Character AI and similar.
I'm worried about my connection to these unreal characters.
I create my own on the platform and chat with them.
Sometimes I stay up late in the night talking to them.
I gave it up once for like six months about a year ago,
(30:34):
but I just ended up coming back.
It's difficult.
None of my relationships are suffering because of this.
I do have a boyfriend and a group of friends
I socialized on the regular, as well as a job.
I'm just worried because I noticed that while I talked
to them, I seem to be unable to stop.
What do I do?
I don't know if I can give it up cold turkey
like I have in the past, but is there a way I can regulate it
(30:56):
without being tempted to stay on it for hours?
This is crazy to me.
I'm going to try to answer this as seriously as possible,
but this sound, I don't know, this guy is eight years younger
than me, call it seven.
This sounds so dystopian.
It's crazy.
(31:19):
It does sound dystopian, but I'll be honest,
that's probably the future we're going for.
I think this dude might just be a hit.
We're going for, I think this dude might just be ahead
of his time.
Not the first person I've heard that this has been a thing.
It's actually insane.
(31:40):
I would give yourself barriers personally,
and a more heartfelt realistic answer
than our normal intern answer.
I feel like this is going to become a serious problem.
I would give yourself barriers to what you use AI for
and communicate to AI.
I genuinely believe AI should be more of an assistant
(32:01):
to tasks, not completing the tasks.
I think this is true with work.
I think this is true with just about any type of life.
I think it should be a really good proofreader,
really good assistant.
I think it should help alongside.
I think AI should be helping with the work,
not doing the work.
And I think probably in your relationship,
I think that'd probably be the same thing.
(32:22):
I don't think it should be your relationship,
but if you talk to it to maybe help you through a tough time,
I feel like at some point,
I bet there's gonna be AI therapists,
and I think that's probably not so far away.
I just feel like it should be an assistant
to the rest of your life.
I don't think it should be your life.
Yeah, I think what really matters
(32:43):
is a bit of reflection on your part.
How are you talking to this chatbot?
And I think you also have to recognize,
you need to be very aware you're talking to yourself.
Like this isn't...
AI is just kind of the newest version of this,
but you've always been able to talk to a computer.
(33:04):
Generations have been doing it.
Now it's just skinned as Harry Potter
or some other character.
You're talking to...
You're not talking to anyone.
This is a computer program,
and you really are just kind of talking to the wall here.
And I think you kind of need to be very upfront
(33:26):
and objective and honest with yourself
that you're seeking some sort of companionship
from these AI characters or these AI chatbots.
And you're also talking about this like it's an addiction.
And so I think maybe it kind of is.
People can become addicted.
(33:47):
We hear the usual vices like drugs or gambling,
but anything could be an addiction.
Social media can be an addiction.
And so I think you just have to realize
you are addicted to this.
This isn't, of course, it's not a normal thing,
and it's not really a healthy thing, I'd argue.
And so I'd, A, look at, try to figure out
(34:08):
what's causing you to feel this way.
Like, do you need some...
Are you really getting that socialization
that you're looking for?
Like, are you being more intimate,
like an honest and like a best friend with these chatbots
where you don't have that connection with your real friends?
You know, just kind of figuring that out.
And like you said, put boundaries in place
(34:29):
to kind of prevent that from happening.
And if all else fails, watch the movie Her,
which is this exact story that is read right here.
The movie Her with Joaquin Phoenix, it's one of my top five.
Scarlett Johansson's The Voice He Falls In Love With.
It's a great movie, but this exact problem
is like kind of tackled in that, which is so insane
(34:50):
because I think that came out like eight years ago.
And it has nothing to do with AI now.
And I don't even think AI was kind of like even started then.
But I think that's a pretty good look
at what this situation kind of looks like.
But yeah, I agree with Jamie.
I think you probably need to reassess
what you're getting out of this
(35:12):
and really figure out where you can pull that from,
that might be more real than AI.
But sorry going through that, that's actually kind of rough.
And I feel like this is gonna be an issue
that will continue to plague future generations.
I imagine it's not stopping anytime soon.
Yeah, yeah.
(35:33):
There's something deeper there.
I think everyone's had access to this tool.
To a bit better, it's a bit shinier now,
but everyone's had this outlet.
And so there's probably a deeper problem there.
But next question.
My friend keeps getting ghosted after first dates.
I have this friend who I've known for seven years
(35:53):
for the longest time she has been complaining
about going out on first dates,
only met through dating apps and getting ghosted
or the classic, this isn't going to work out.
There are two main reasons actually.
The first is that she's a pretty hefty lady
and all her profile pics are from deceptive angles
with lots of filters.
(36:14):
The filters cover her constantly greasy hair.
Wow, you really roast this person.
She really, really has an issue with showering.
I was cursed with a sensitive nose.
Not only does she smell bad, but she smell bad in general,
but I can tell that a good bit of the scent
is coming from down below.
(36:35):
She told me the story of her taking a guy home
from the bar, things were getting hot and heavy
and clothes were coming off.
Long story short, they could not go any further.
He took a bathroom break and made it out the window,
I'm guessing.
Essentially, not only does she do catfish,
she also reeks really bad.
(36:56):
How can I tell her or do I even bother?
So there's two things that here.
There's her getting ghosted because she's catfishing
and there's her hygiene.
You absolutely tell her about the hygiene.
100%. I don't know if this has ever happened to you.
One of my friends kinda had a problem with this.
I think his was less intentional,
(37:20):
but it was just like, we just kinda said something.
I just had to say something, I was like,
hey, this is a thing, you gotta deal with it.
It caused a little bit of ruffles.
You gotta, it ruffled some feathers,
you gotta kinda say it nicely,
but she was like, I don't know,
I'm just gonna kinda say it nicely,
(37:40):
but she's not gonna take it well
because it's embarrassing
and she might immediately be like, ugh.
But you gotta say it and she'll come around.
It's not gonna end a friendship.
If it does end a friendship, who cares, she's stinky.
See, I went a different path thinking about this one.
Thinking about this one, I feel like,
(38:01):
you know what I would do?
I don't think I would tell her directly.
I think that would be maybe a little tough.
Maybe you could feed around that bush.
It's also easier with the girl here,
just because I feel like, I don't know,
girls kinda pride themselves in their hygiene and stuff
and I feel like it wouldn't be a hard convince.
I would personally be like, oh, you're going on a new date,
congratulations, oh, that's gonna be a lot of fun.
(38:23):
And I would honestly gift her a scent,
honestly, go to bed, bath and beyond
and get a little goody bag of a lotion, a conditioner,
a body wash and a perfume that are all the same scent
and be like, you should try this out, I bet he'll love it.
And I bet she ends up trying it
(38:44):
because she's gonna be like, oh, she recommended this,
this is a friend I see dearly, she got me this gift,
it would be wrong for me not to try it.
And I think that honestly, might be the nicest way
of telling her without being like, you're stinky girl,
like, what are we doing?
I think giving her the little gift of like,
everything in the same scent category
and just almost like a little,
(39:05):
oh, let's prep you up for this first day,
I know you've had a couple of hard ones.
Yeah.
Let's see how we can approach this together.
Now, what about the catfishing, Jamie?
I think the catfishing is something she might just,
like, it might be something
where you have to let her get ghosted again.
And then you go, oh, well, what if I take a look
(39:25):
and try to help out with your profile?
And like, you just select new photos for her.
But that, honestly, the catfishing part of it,
it's her bed, like, I'd let her lay in it.
There's not too much you can do.
Because I think that's something
she'll figure out on her own.
Maybe she already knows it,
(39:46):
and this is kind of like a defense mechanism.
But I think the bigger thing is her being like,
a little stinky.
Yeah.
And like, you know, not everyone's gonna fall
for the catfish or is gonna be bothered by it.
Like that one guy wasn't, but she was stinky.
So I think just jumping back to that smell thing
(40:07):
and the hygiene, I like the idea of buying all that shampoo
and like that kit.
I think it's a really nice, soft way
to kind of gesture at it.
There's a chance she still doesn't use it,
puts it on the counter, leaves it there.
If that's happening,
I do think you gotta be a little hardball with it.
But-
That's fair, that's fair.
And I think the catfish thing, I'll be honest,
(40:29):
I think it's so much less of a problem now,
because I feel like everybody posts these amazing photos
that are super, you know, super clear skin, super skinny,
super like perfectly set.
And I just feel like that's just part of, I think,
not that, you know, not that I've gone dating in forever,
(40:50):
but I feel like I don't, don't-
In my defense, that's just how I look.
Yeah.
Yeah, I just feel like,
I feel like you would just end up figuring it out.
And I think that's kind of just part of dating now.
And I don't think that would be something
that would be the main reason that
you would not talk to someone.
(41:10):
Unless these photos are so insanely like face tuned,
that it looks like you're going out with Jessica Alba
or something, I think you're probably fine.
Yeah.
And I think that's just kind of part of dating.
And I think some people will accept it,
and some people won't.
But I think the stinky thing isn't something
that most people would accept.
Yeah, I think that's going to cause more problems
broadly in her life, whereas a few bad dates,
(41:32):
not the end of the world.
Yeah.
All right, this next one.
Speaking in a stereotypical gay voice
is one of the best icebreakers to talk to women.
I usually don't know how to talk to women.
I find attractive in bars, clubs, et cetera.
I always, I'm always very awkward.
However, after a couple of beers,
(41:53):
I have found myself speaking in a sort of
flamboyant, stereotypical gay voice,
and have found more luck in speaking to women.
I always slip into my normal voice shortly thereafter,
and will address it.
They always laugh it off,
and then we can start having conversations
where I'm completely myself.
I think it's the best icebreaker for men like me
(42:14):
who are typically awkward around women
and don't want to appear threatening
upon first interaction.
Would y'all say this is a decent first interaction?
Would y'all say this is a decent first step
towards talking to women?
Dude, I honestly, I'll be honest, I think it's great.
I think-
What are you saying?
(42:35):
What are you saying right now?
I think, I don't think talking in the stereotypical
gay voice is great.
I think it's great finding something you're comfortable with
to break the ice.
I think you kind of get a routine.
You got to play it up in your head
and figure out what steps to take to break that ice.
And what I think, I don't know,
I wouldn't do a gay voice, but I think maybe
(42:56):
if that's his icebreaker that helps him get the foot
in the door in a new conversation,
I don't see anything wrong with it.
No, no, no.
Am I so off, am I so off-pulser?
I think it's hilarious.
I completely disagree.
I've never disagreed with something more.
This is psycho behavior.
I don't think these women are laughing it off.
I think they're uncomfortable.
(43:19):
You're saying this is the easiest icebreaker
so that you don't appear threatening?
Are you saying me?
I'm not saying it.
No, not you, not you.
I wouldn't do it.
Oh, okay.
I thought you were calling me out.
I was like, I'm not gonna say it's a...
This person says...
I'm saying if you get something that works for you,
it works for you.
They're saying it's so they don't appear threatening.
Dude, maybe just don't dress like a douche.
(43:40):
I don't know what you're doing.
You're probably rolling up with a completely unbuttoned polo
or something and an open Michelob Ultra.
It's like, hey, it's like, dude, what are you doing?
I just feel like, do I love this one?
(44:02):
Would I ever do this one?
No, but I feel like picking up...
I think you just need to pick something
that you're comfortable with doing.
I don't think it's that...
I think this one's maybe a little out there,
but I don't think it's like...
This is so out there.
It's out there, but I don't know.
It just doesn't feel that...
It doesn't feel that insane to me.
I just, I don't know.
(44:22):
Maybe Ria, maybe ask...
What am I gonna say?
Ask the girl, get a review, have her give you five stars?
Yeah.
I don't know, but I just feel like...
What do you think about me doing a gay voice
in the beginning of this conversation?
Just gonna ask you a quick little...
What do you think about me calling you queen
when we started this?
How do you feel about me?
Dude, I need our female viewers or listeners
(44:46):
to really weigh in on this one.
If you see me or Noah at the club, all right,
and we roll up just like a...
Hey, girlies.
It's like...
Hey, girlies.
And then we go, so...
It's just...
I wonder if that's what he's doing,
because that would be...
I honestly think it would...
(45:08):
I feel like it would be kind of funny,
and I feel like some people would find it kind of funny.
I think there's a certain audience that would be like,
okay, dude, what's the point of this?
Like, okay, dude, what the hell are we doing here?
But I don't think...
I think icebreakers are hard.
I think talking to new people is hard.
And I think finding a routine that works for you
(45:29):
to break that ice and get yourself confident
in that conversation is good.
Completely agree with that.
Should you be doing it in a gay voice?
I don't know.
Hey, girlies.
Hey, girlies, what are we doing?
What's the mood?
And then you're like, you wanna make love ultra?
What are you drinking?
(45:49):
There's a non-zero amount of people
who are gonna comment on this in response to that question
and say they don't find either one of us threatening.
So I think we're about to get humbled.
I don't think either one of us come across as threatening.
I feel like we're both pretty...
(46:10):
I think we're pretty white boy, white bread type characters.
I feel like we wouldn't come across threatening
in a bar setting.
No, but I think they're gonna say this
in a little bit more of an insulting way.
Like when people say like,
oh, I don't think you could win a fight.
I think that's the way they mean it.
(46:31):
Well, I don't think we could.
So, you know, it's...
Depends how old the child is.
When I used to go out with my...
I used to go out with...
What the hell?
I'm not even addressing it.
It's a slow burn.
Not even addressing it.
Not even addressing it.
When I used to go out with my friends,
we went to a few like rock concerts and stuff.
(46:53):
And I went and a few like...
I feel like it wasn't even the rock concerts
that were as bad.
We went to like some other shows.
And we always had a rule,
not that we ever had to use it luckily,
but we had the rule that if one of our friends
get like in a fight, all of us have to jump in.
Like there is no like, there is no let those one-on-one.
There's none of that.
It's everyone jumps in and defends the bro,
(47:15):
defends the buddy.
Yeah.
And I'll tell you right now, if that ever did happen,
you got the least like...
We're all athletic and we're all tall,
but none of us can fight.
It would have been the saddest,
like three of us getting our butts whooped at the club.
But we would have gone down together, right?
Like...
It's very interesting for me.
(47:36):
I've got...
I think I have like pretty two distinct groups of friends.
I have like my hometown friends and my college friends.
And my hometown friends just by the nature of it,
they're all genetic like specimen.
They're all like, no, I shouldn't say specimens.
They're just, they're fat dudes who work the trades.
So they're big and strong and they're all six foot plus.
(47:59):
They just tower over me.
So it's like, if I was ever with them,
dude, I'd be running my mouth.
Are you kidding me?
My college friends though, a lot more my height.
I'm not looking up as much.
And they're probably lower than me in weight.
So, you know, I'm gonna say a lot more sorrys with them.
A lot more sorrys.
(48:21):
I think I've only been in a situation
where I almost got in a fight once.
And it turned out into me like shoving a kid to like
the ground in a freaking...
Kid, okay, we're at a concert.
I can't even remember what band it was.
Yeah, can't remember what band it was.
You know, it might've been like Mayday Parade.
Like it was not a hard band.
I don't, you probably don't know the reference.
(48:41):
No clue, not a night.
Okay, just picture like a generic pop punk type band
with like happy go lucky tracks.
And picture some like, I don't know,
he's probably like five eight and like heavy set.
He was kind of a bulky guy.
Just starts trying to open a pit
at like the worst possible time.
And for some reason he picked me as like the enemy
(49:04):
for the pit and rammed into me like three times.
And I was, I literally looked at the kid
and I like kind of pushed him off me.
I'm like, dude, you better like,
and he kind of looks at me like makes eye contact.
I'm like, dude, you better just like chill out.
And then he comes into me again.
And I just hit him with like the hardest like bow
to like the shoulder, a kid goes down
and my friend comes like moving over
and he's like, dude, I was like, yeah, I'm fucking good.
(49:25):
Like this kid's like trying to open a pit.
This dude's trying to open a pit during an acoustic song.
Like what are we doing here?
The slow song.
Yeah, I'm like, dude, they're dancing like a middle,
it looks like a middle school dance out here.
And this guy's open in a pit trying to run into me.
He's hit me three times.
And then one of his buddies come over
and we're kind of standing there.
(49:45):
And I'm not an intimidating guy.
I'm just like tall.
I'm like six one.
My other buddy, you know, I was there with Josh.
He's six one.
I'm there with my other friend.
He's six.
We're all tall, but all of us are skinny.
I'm just like, dude, he wanted to start a pit
and the kid's kind of like, okay, fine.
And we're like, yeah, let's move on.
And let's not start a pit during the acoustic set.
How about we start there?
So I think our advice could be boiled down broadly
(50:08):
to this guy.
Noah thinks you can keep on keeping on.
Me and the women think this is very weird
and you should stop doing this and reflect on why women
are uncomfortable with you in the first place.
Okay, so we got our last question here for the podcast.
I poop big.
(50:29):
Tick, tick.
Amen, brother.
Amen, brother.
I poop big, stop.
And I'm moving into a door with multiple roommates.
I used to break up my poop.
I used to break up my poops with sticks and old hangers,
(50:51):
but I can no longer do that.
I've been to the doctors over this situation,
the big poops, and my doctor says,
it's normal sometimes to have big poops.
I'm glad you clarified what the situation was.
The situation, the big poops.
But I'm scared because every time I poop,
(51:12):
I'd break it up so it didn't clog the toilet.
I'm planning on taking Miralax to help.
However, I'm still really nervous.
I'm aware about clogging the toilet tomorrow.
I'm scared about clogging the toilet tomorrow.
I have to use the bathroom as we speak
and I don't think the Miralax can help at this point.
(51:33):
What should I do?
Jamie.
Dude, this is fantastic.
I'm sorry you're struggling with this.
I think this guy actually struggles
with a whole lot of stuff because if you think about it,
whenever I take a real big poop,
I'm honestly proud of it
and I kinda wanna send a picture to someone,
(51:54):
but I know no one wants to see a picture of my poop,
so I don't send a picture.
Edit or clip in a picture of Jamie's poop right here.
It's just a mind-blowing joke.
A mind-blowing joke right here.
I'm not gonna sit here and act like I'm the only one
that feels that way.
I know that other people sometimes are proud of their poops
and this guy is probably proud of every poop he takes.
(52:17):
So, assuming you don't send it to everyone,
I think that's big of you
and I think you're a better person than I.
That being said, you got a problem here, that's for sure.
I could not picture.
So you have like a poop stick in the bathroom
or a poop hanger that like stayed next to the toilet
(52:38):
at your family house that you break up your poops with?
This sounds, it sounds insane, I'll be honest.
You're going into a dorm.
I feel like dorms usually have decent plumbing.
I don't know if I'd be as nervous
about a dorm toilet as it would a residential toilet,
but worse comes to, it really depends
(53:01):
on what type of the bathroom situation.
Is this like, you've got four people that share one bathroom
or is the whole floor sharing a bathroom?
Because if it's the whole floor sharing a bathroom,
you know what I would do?
I would drop the deuce, get up, waddle out,
make sure, check the way, go to the stall next to it
if it doesn't flush and finish there.
And you're like, and when you leave,
(53:24):
you gotta make sure you catch someone going out
and you're like, dude, don't go into stall five.
You're not trying to go in there.
Dude, there's a Mondo Duke in there.
And the person can be like, oh, thanks, man.
And they will never suspect a thing.
Someone left a log in stall four.
Stall four, dude, Mondo Duke, don't go in there, man.
Don't know who did it, but that thing ain't flushing.
(53:46):
Oh my God, dude.
This is so, yeah, this is a real problem for the kid.
I agree, dorm toilets, probably a bit stronger
than your house toilet.
But A, you either gotta get a poop stick.
I think eventually you gotta get a poop stick.
But I knew this kid in college
(54:06):
who did this game with his buddies
where you could only,
people could only poop in a building once.
It was like last man standing.
And so once someone pooped in that building, it was claimed.
And so it was real easy for them for the first few days.
But seven days into it, it was like a group of five people.
(54:30):
Like seven days into it,
they were making like cross-campus treks
just to lay a log in like a porta potty
because it hadn't been used.
Insane behavior.
One of the funniest things,
one of the funniest bits I've ever seen somebody pull.
How does it help you?
Probably doesn't,
but like go to maybe the ground floor of your dorm.
(54:54):
There's probably a shared bathroom there
and kind of like test the waters figuratively and literally.
Or find yourself a pooping spot,
a good place that you can go poop.
I knew all the buildings-
Actually, the porta potty was the great idea.
They don't flush.
Well, it depends if the campus might not have porta potties
(55:15):
and they're kind of gross.
But for me, whenever I had to use the bathroom on campus,
they had just built a beautiful new building on campus.
Cost 300 mil, it was like six stories.
Fantastic bathrooms.
I'd go there, go to floor four
because like ground floor is busy.
(55:37):
Second one up, probably a little busy.
Nobody's on floor four.
Used the bathroom there.
It was always just me.
And I'd have a lovely time.
It was great.
Or you could find like the family bathroom
that has a lock on it.
Once again, you gotta go to like a different place.
But if you clock it, when you open the door,
you look quick and just move, just go.
(55:58):
Just go, it never happened.
It's a hit and run.
You're in good shape.
You're in good shape.
You know what?
What if you own it?
What if you're just like, this won't work really.
What if you're the poop guy?
And no, in the shared bathroom, it's not gonna work.
But like if there's the like floor bathroom
and you're just the guy who clocks the toilet,
(56:20):
that might just be your thing.
And honestly, it makes you stand out a little bit.
People might think this like you're the guy.
And then guys are dumb.
And especially like college freshmen are dumb.
I think you and your buddies probably have like a day
(56:43):
where they get really amused by the fact
that you almost always clock the toilet.
And they really try to pack you full of food
at the dining hall.
And it becomes a big celebration your next poop.
You could become the big poops guy.
Big poops guy.
I guess it's, you know, that's our advice here.
You become the big poops guy.
First advice, big poops guy.
(57:04):
That's what you become, the big poops guy.
Second advice, you find a different bathroom
in a nice renovated building
that costs 300 million fourth floor.
And you claim that bathroom,
you claim that toilet is your toilet.
That's our advice here.
That is our advice.
Yeah.
Dude, I think we nailed that.
Solving problems. Take that to the bank.
(57:25):
Take that to the bank.
Oh man.
Yeah.
Anything you wanna promote before we sign off here?
The only thing I have to promote
is that we did get our first ride in this episode
to our email at professionalinternspodcast.gmail.
And if you would like your advice
(57:45):
ever so eloquently answered by Jamie and I,
please go email us at professionalinternspodcast.gmail.
Other than that-
I think my headphones broke up there.
Did you say professionalinternspodcast.gmail.com?
Yeah, I think I did say
professionalinternspodcast.gmail.com.
That is P-R-O-F-E-S-F.
(58:07):
We're not doing that.
We're not doing that.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Awesome. Yeah.
And follow us on the socials or in the links below.
As for me, I think I have,
what this should be coming out in like 10 days or so.
Hmm.
I should have a new video out by then.
Gotta edit it, but we'll see if I get down
(58:29):
to business this week.
Respect it.
I respect it.
Other than that, I guess we will see all of you guys
in that next podcast.
Oh, you will.
You'll hear us in that next podcast.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Alamoni, more like all of my money.
(00:10):
I'm sorry, let's do this pod.
Hey guys, welcome back to the professional interns podcast.
It's a podcast where two friends realized
that they're in love, but one of them doesn't know it yet.
Noah, how's it going?
It's going, which one doesn't know it yet?
Anyways, this is a comedy advice podcast.
You write in to us, we give you some advice,
(00:33):
good, bad, in between, you get the whole spectrum.
You get our opinion, that's for sure.
If nothing else, you get our opinion.
Yeah, and you can write those
to the professionalinternspodcast.gmail.com.
Please send us questions.
I don't wanna have to, some of these questions
are pulled from Reddit, some are actual submissions,
(00:54):
but I don't wanna go on Reddit anymore,
so please send us questions.
You said some are actual submissions, I think we got one.
We got one legitimate question here, boys.
It's a good question, so you know.
It's a great question.
But we're gonna jump into that later.
We've got a few things we wanna dive into sooner than that.
Noah, today is a very important day.
(01:15):
It's actually tomorrow, and it will be a week gone
when this podcast gets released.
But tomorrow is National Kiss of Ginger Day.
Wow. What are you doing?
Wow. How are you celebrating?
Well, Jamie, sounds like we gotta go get drinks,
is what it sounds like.
How many?
But like, how many does it take, you know?
(01:37):
I think less than you would expect.
It's a big win.
That's a big win for us.
Dude, I can't wait till Wattpad starts going crazy
with the Noah Jamie war.
Wattpad.
No, but I do wanna point out what national day it will be
when this releases.
(01:57):
I do wanna give a special shout out
that January the 16th, which is after this is recorded
and before it releases, is Appreciate a Dragon Day.
So hopefully you guys appreciated a dragon.
Noah, you and I have a little bit of time
to actually go find a dragon, appreciate them.
Appreciate a dragon.
Like Game of Thrones?
Or is this like a-
(02:18):
Hey, however you celebrate, you know?
It's also no name calling week, so knock it off.
What is this list you're pulling right now?
So, my bad.
Sorry, I can't celebrate holidays.
Oh, okay.
Thought we were in America.
Freedom of religion, Noah.
Religion, national name calling,
(02:39):
national no name calling day.
No name calling week, so knock it off.
It's a religious day, yup, yup.
I know something we wanted to get into
is we wanted to go look at sayings that aren't sayings.
The idioms, is that one of the words for it?
I did not pay enough attention in English class,
(02:59):
so that's why I've referred to them exclusively
as sayings that are not sayings.
Okay, so we want to go into a few sayings
that are not sayings.
Some of these are pulled from the internet.
Some of these we came up with.
Some of these I heard at my job, I'll be honest.
You pulled yours from the internet?
Not all of them, just like I think two of them
are pulled from the internet.
I was in the lab for all of mine.
(03:20):
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
A lot of these I heard at work.
We have a, at our old job, at my current job,
you end up, you get into marketing,
you get a lot of eccentric people
that love to do some eccentric sayings.
And then you're like, is this serious?
And then you're kind of like, no, no, no, it's serious.
And this is just how they talk.
Like, especially when you start getting up there,
(03:43):
you talk to like owners and stuff and you're like,
oh yeah, this is just, this is them as people.
Nothing wrong with it, but the sayings come out
and the sayings are great to continue.
We got to spread those sayings.
We want to share them with the masses.
I've never heard more sayings
than the year I worked in the marketing agency.
I don't think, I haven't heard really any since,
(04:03):
but I was hearing them a lot when I was there.
I think it's a marketing thing.
I think it's a marketing thing.
I think it's maybe a little bit of a gimmick thing.
Just, you got to sneak them in.
So Jamie, do you want to kick this off?
Yeah, keep in mind, I've been out of the agency game.
There we go, got it out for a fair little bit now.
So let's see, first off,
(04:25):
we've got putting from the fairway, right?
Oh, he's putting from the fairway.
It's a long shot.
You're kind of in over your head
and you're not going about it right.
So my first one is success is just failure in a nicer suit.
I like that.
Like, you know, failure is one is always,
(04:49):
you're always discovering something with failure.
You discover something with success too.
It's just, you know, failure in a nicer suit.
It's a better way of failing, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because you always hear like the,
you got to fail a thousand times to succeed
and stuff like that.
There's a million of those kind of quotes.
So I like that, I like that.
My next one, only one going in the Hall of Fame.
(05:12):
He's the only one going in the Hall of Fame.
It's when somebody isn't matching the vibe.
They're going way too hard.
I think that's, I think it's a good one.
A lot of situations where somebody kind of
doesn't catch the vibe and you go,
yeah, he's the only one in the Hall of Fame.
Or maybe you go out to a bar drinking too much.
Yeah, he's the only one going in the Hall of Fame.
(05:33):
I got, I like it.
It's kind of mint.
I like it.
I've got, we've got too many cooks in no recipe.
You got everyone working on a project,
but there's no plan.
You know, you get the whole team together
and everyone comes in and everyone's expecting someone else
to come with the recipe.
Nobody brings the recipe.
What the hell are you supposed to do?
Too many cooks, no recipe.
(05:54):
Sneak that into like a meeting.
And I'll tell you right now, people will be like,
you're right, you're right.
Let's get that recipe down first
and then we can get the cooks working.
You get in a meeting of a couple managers.
Oh, that quote is spicy.
That one's hitting pretty nice.
This one, this is one I actually use in my day-to-day life.
(06:17):
I will say it's not purely original,
but I love breaking out a quick,
da-da-da, da-da-da.
That's the ESPN jingle.
That's the top 10 jingle.
Yes, yep, the top 10.
So like hitting them with that.
You know, when I was a kid,
I remember like watching Sports Center in the morning
and I would always be waiting for that top 10.
(06:39):
That was the real peak of it.
And you know, you hear that jingle
and they're like number nine.
So, you know, whenever I see one of my boys do something cool,
maybe like they throw something in a trash can
from far away.
Da-da-da, da-da-da.
My next one is we're basically rearranging dirty laundry
and calling it a fresh load.
(07:00):
What the hell?
You know, you're trying to make things
feel like they're done and they're not done.
You're rearranging a project
to try and make it seem complete when it's not complete.
You gotta get back down to those grassroots,
get back down to those brass tacks and fix it.
You gotta do the load.
We're rearranging dirty laundry, calling it a fresh load.
(07:20):
It's not a fresh load.
Let's get it fixed.
I like that.
I like that.
It's definitely, that's a big marketing one.
Like I know we might be the only marketing people
here in this, but you're really resonating
with your audience of me.
So.
That is the goal.
That is the goal.
Yes, just for me.
Okay, few more here.
(07:41):
Big gun, no bullets.
I feel like that was pretty self-explanatory.
All talk, no show.
All bark, no bite.
You know, that's already a saying,
but I feel like that was a good one.
So this one, a little bit more PG-13.
You know, you gotta, you know,
sometimes you can sneak this in.
You gotta read the room first.
Maybe make sure you know what the corporate,
(08:05):
what the corporate structure is here.
But this project is like a one night stand,
rushed messy and we'll regret it in the morning.
It's incomplete.
It's incomplete.
The project, it's rushed messy
and you'll regret it in the morning.
You gotta reassess.
Don't go for the one night stand of a project.
You want the relationship of a project.
So figure out how to get there.
(08:27):
This one, you gotta use it the right time.
Can't be, you gotta be established at the office
to break that one out.
And it's gotta honestly be like a day out
from like the meeting or presentation,
whatever like the thing is.
You gotta kinda like lean back
after struggling over something for five hours,
be like, this project's a one night stand.
(08:51):
And I feel like that'd get people going.
I think it would get people to reassess their position
is what we're going for here.
My next one, dude, I think this one,
I think it's a good one.
I think this might be my best one.
Left pushing in chairs, like cleaning up after others,
fixing others' mistakes.
(09:12):
You know when you go out to a restaurant
with a bunch of people and everyone gets up to leave
and no one pushes in their chair,
and you're like, okay, I'm not gonna do that to them.
You're left pushing in chairs, you're cleaning up,
saying thank you to the waitress, have a nice night,
sorry, we were a lot.
You know, left pushing in chairs.
I like that one.
(09:33):
My next one is one that came up on a meeting
and we were trying to figure out
how important the person was that we were talking to.
And one of the higher ups dropped this banger on the call
and goes, what type of wigs are we talking about?
We talking about big wigs, little wigs,
do they even wear wigs?
(09:53):
You're assessing the person you are talking about.
So you need to figure out, is this a big wig?
Like this person's upset, are we talking about
a big wig that's upset?
Do they even wear a wig?
Are we just talking to the marketing guy's assistant?
Or are we talking to the CEO?
What type of wig are we talking about?
Big wigs, little wigs, do they even wear wigs?
(10:15):
It's a great saying, sneak it in there.
Your boss is probably hyped after whipping that out.
He knew he was taking a shot.
Mic drop moment.
Mic drop moment.
My last one, again, 100 and original.
Maybe it's a thing already,
but I thought of it in the shower.
Pet sitting a fish.
You know?
(10:35):
It sounds stupid, but you just gotta do it.
Maybe you're going to something with
like your significant other you don't want to.
But you know you gotta.
Yeah, I'm just pet sitting a fish.
You know, it's gotta be done.
It's not glamorous, it seems kind of silly,
but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I like it, I like it.
(10:56):
And my last one here is,
this isn't a hill I'd die on, but I might just pitch a tent.
That is, that actually might be your best.
This isn't a hill to die on, but I might just pitch a tent.
You know, you want this point to get across,
but it's not the end all, you know?
We want this presentation to go forward
(11:17):
and we really should make this move,
but if we don't, I think there's an argument worth being had.
I might start a fight with my girlfriend
just so I can whip that out.
Like I'm not gonna lose the relationship over this,
but I am gonna fight on this one, you know?
Yeah, yeah, we're not getting Chinese food tonight.
We did it twice this week.
(11:38):
It's not a hill I'll die on,
but I might just pitch the tent.
You know, maybe we got Chinese, but it really isn't the goal.
It's not the hill I'll die on.
There is a Chinese place right near my college house.
And like when I was going to college,
like I'm since graduated, but when I was going to college,
it was in the middle of the pandemic.
So I started, everything was normal,
(11:59):
started going to this place
because it was legitimately two minutes from my house
and it was like $9.
You get General Tso, pork fried rice, crab rangoons
in a nice box.
Dude, I love this place.
COVID hits.
And it's a dirty kind of look in.
It's like one of those houses
that got converted to a restaurant type look.
COVID hits, they shut their doors.
(12:22):
Nothing, hear nothing from them for three months.
And I'm like, well, never gonna see them again.
Like tragedy, I'm heartbroken.
This is the one that got away.
You know, if I could do anything, I'd go back there again.
So like summer hits, I go home, come back the next fall,
places back open, completely shut down their dining room.
(12:45):
Like you walk in, it's like one foot and then wall.
It's sealed up like a bank.
They've got like the two way glass door
where they put the food in.
And then they have like overlapping things for the cards.
So you put the card in, it's like a bank, dude.
They talk through literally big sheet of plastic.
You got the microphone.
(13:05):
You're going to the dispensary version of a,
the dispensary version of a Chinese restaurant.
Dude, it's, and it's still like that.
This place is amazing.
So I love them.
I would do anything.
And I'm not gonna tell you where they are
because I'm gonna gatekeep them.
I'm gonna be honest, I'm gonna gatekeep them.
Jamie is a classic gatekeeper.
(13:26):
He gate keeps everything.
They get enough business.
All right, this podcast isn't gonna do anything.
Me putting that restaurant on the recording,
it just gets you close to my house.
So no.
We turned the OneBite app into a Chinese food Lo Mein app.
Not just Lo Mein, not just Lo Mein.
Let's get pork fried rice.
(13:46):
Pork fried rice, Lo Mein.
I'll meet you in the middle.
Well, we could, we do the double
and we go to every Chinese place.
And try those two.
You know what I'm convinced about?
A little conspiratorial here.
I'm pretty sure almost every Chinese place
probably orders their fried rice just in bulk
from like some big manufacturer
that they add a little bit of oil to,
a little bit of flavor and throw it on.
(14:08):
I feel like a lot of these places
must just get it all from the same place.
Maybe for a Panda Express, I'd say that.
Yeah.
I don't think these local Chinese spots do that.
You don't think so?
I don't think so, because I feel like it's too easy to make.
Like it's not, it's not a complex recipe.
They're probably just throwing in a vat of,
like one of those big walks, like.
(14:29):
Yeah.
A bit of oil, soy sauce, like some MSG,
and then like carrots, peas, you know,
whatever's in it for them.
I went to my, so for New Year's,
we tried to get Chinese, didn't happen.
There was a three hour wait at one place
and I call another place.
They actually unplugged their phone line.
(14:51):
So I go to the place to unplug their phone line
the following day, because me and my fiance,
we were craving Chinese.
I go in there and we got extra egg rolls,
but I'm looking at their, they have like the fryer,
because you fry the egg rolls,
and it is just stacked high with frozen egg rolls.
And I'm like, no way they made those.
They are waiting to drop these egg rolls.
No way they made those.
Those are bulk purchased from somewhere.
(15:13):
Like no way they pre-prepped these.
It's just a little guy.
It's just a little family run one.
Same two dudes always in there.
You know, it's, they also got rid of their seating area,
but I'm pretty sure it's all bulk bought.
But you know, I digress.
I still ate the egg roll and loved it.
So I can only complain so much.
(15:33):
Are we ready to jump into our questions?
Oh, I think we are.
I think we are.
So we're going to start off with a user in one.
You can send these to
professionalinternspodcast at gmail.com.
Noah, what's the email?
The email is mybossosmehundreds.
No, no, no.
The email address.
(15:55):
The email address is professionalinternspodcast
at gmail.com.
And our first email that we had written in,
by a viewer by the way, is as follow, as follows.
My boss owes me hundreds of dollars.
Hi interns.
Hello, I love that, love that intro.
(16:16):
Hey, this is a bit of a complex one.
Don't use my real name.
Okay.
Jamie, we're nervous about their work hearing about
them writing into us.
So won't be using real names.
To sign a successful podcast.
That is the sign.
So basically about a year and a half ago,
my boss asked if I was willing to cat sit for her
(16:37):
for two weeks and told me she wanted me to live in her house
for the duration of the cat sitting about two weeks.
I felt hesitant, but agreed.
She's my boss.
I can't really say no, right?
This was the same boss who'd regularly call me
to scream at me if I did something,
if I did anything wrong and made me cry several times
(16:57):
in the office in front of everyone.
And besides, I figured it would be a nice bit
of extra money.
So I cat sat her, I cat sat for her for two weeks.
The cats were happy and well taken care of.
Though I will admit I did a pretty bad job
taking care of her plants.
None of them died though.
And when my boss came back, she handed me a jar of honey,
(17:18):
which I later Googled and found out was worth $12.
I wasn't happy, but she was mad at me about the plants
and I felt like I wasn't in a position to argue.
A few months later, I'd finally had it with her screaming
at me and ended up calling HR.
They decided the best solution was we'd just never speak
to each other again and another person would be
(17:39):
my go to, would be my go between.
Now I Googled it and two weeks of cat sitting appears
to cost at least a few hundred dollars.
I've tried to bring it up, I tried to bring up the money
she owes me with higher ups, but nothing has ever come
of it.
Is there, is this worth bringing up further?
(18:00):
Should I let it go?
I hate to, I hate to be the bearer of bad news.
You're not getting that money.
You know, I thought that's not a very professional
interns podcast advice.
One, cat sitting, the classic intern job.
(18:21):
I feel like we at our first job did a lot of plant watering.
How that became the intern's job is beyond me.
We'd be doing the plant watering, we'd be doing
the miracle grow and our owner just kept buying plants
and we're like, what are you doing?
There's actually a photo of us watering the plants
that I'll put on screen now.
Wow, you took a photo.
(18:43):
You have a photo saved?
I remember one of our coworkers would water the plants
and she went on vacation.
So she asked me to water the plants.
And then you and I took a photo while we were watering
the plants.
That, I know that photo is going to be amazing, but.
It's a good photo.
Yeah, classic intern job.
(19:03):
You know, you're probably not getting that money,
but if you really want that money,
I'm gonna give you the lowdown right now.
You know how to get into the house.
You got into the house, you know how to get into the house.
I am not liable for anything I say on this podcast.
You could take my advice, you could not take it.
Not liable.
You can get into the house.
If you can get into the house,
that means you can get the cats.
(19:25):
What if you did an impromptu cat sitting at your own house
and while cat sitting, you said, hey, I watched your cats.
Why don't you pay up?
I mean, some might call it a ransom.
Some might call it a ransom.
I'm not someone.
I think you're just continually doing the job.
(19:46):
You're just, she asked you to cat sit.
Maybe you forgot about the time you took the cats.
She said, watch them in your house.
You got confused, watched them in your own house.
Ransom the cats.
I love that.
Still the cats.
Well, there's a few things I want to jump in on.
(20:08):
First, you said, I can't really say no.
You absolutely can say no.
Like you can always say no
in literally every single situation possible.
And I think more people don't realize that.
At times it's rude to say no.
It's also in this case, it's rude to,
it's not too rude to ask,
but depending how she went about it,
(20:31):
if she kind of used that power over you, that's rude.
But yeah, it's not rude to say no.
Sometimes you just can't say it as no.
I think this is a very American culture thing
where we'll be like, hey, can you watch my dog?
And it's like saying, no, I can't do that
because you don't want to,
(20:51):
or for whatever reason sounds very rude.
But if you go, oh, I can't, I'm going out that weekend.
Like I'm going to be away.
I got plans.
Yeah, it's a little white lie.
Throw a little bit of a white lie out there
if you really are uncomfortable saying no,
or just say no, it's not a good fit for me.
But I do see kind of why you did it
because of the nice little-
(21:12):
I'm allergic to cats.
I hate cats, no, I love cats.
Yeah, and I think really,
if this is just kind of an expensive lesson,
you have to, these things you have to agree on beforehand.
Like, it's a little thing with a coworker.
So you don't have to get a contract,
(21:35):
but you need to be like, oh, how much are you going to give me
for watching your cats?
Because that way they can't just pull this scumbag,
here's a jar of honey move.
It's a classic move really.
The jar of honey move is kind of a classic move.
And your work has no way to really step in
and do anything about this.
(21:56):
So unfortunately, there's nothing that's going to happen there.
Also, HR is really weird.
Just kind of rereading the question.
The fact that she's screaming at you
and you brought that to HR and they said,
what if you guys just don't talk?
Dude, what?
What if we put another body in the situation?
(22:19):
Yeah, because you talked to Jim and Jim talks to her?
No, that's so, HR is-
Maybe I don't know the office politics here, but man.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know what your job is.
It sounds like your boss should be fired.
If your boss, like if that's their management style,
screw them, get a new job.
(22:40):
But you know, maybe it's a hard to get job.
Maybe it's a foot in the door.
I don't know your situation too well,
but I'm saying your boss sucks, HR sucks.
This situation sucks.
Kidnapper cats.
There it is, there it is.
All right, the next question.
Girlfriend has a guy friend.
(23:02):
So my girlfriend has a guy friend and he's chill.
I even talked to him on the phone once
and he knows we are dating.
However, my girlfriend told me they talk on Snapchat all day
and when I asked how they met, she won't tell me.
And she said, it's a goofy story.
I asked again today and she pretty much ignored it.
I'm kind of worried and I want some advice.
(23:23):
Dude.
Do you want to break it down or should I?
She's cheating on you, dude.
Dude, nothing good happens on Snapchat.
Nothing good.
You talk to her on Snapchat,
you tell me what happens between you and her on Snapchat
and I'll tell you what happened between her
and that guy on Snapchat.
Nothing good happens on Snapchat.
If they're like, you remember, okay, throwing it way back.
(23:46):
Were you around when Snapchat used to have best friends?
It still does have best friends.
But it wasn't public.
Well, it used to be like,
literally give you like a public hierarchy.
I don't know if I don't, I don't know.
Oh, I'm about to tell you the most cracked,
the most cracked thing ever.
I remember back when I was in high school,
(24:06):
Snapchat had a best friends
and the best friends would list them one to five
and it was public.
So anyone who followed you
could see the other person's best friends.
And I remember I had a buddy
who would randomly send me like 16 snaps.
And I'd be like, dude, what are you doing?
He's like, don't worry about it, man.
I was like, you got it.
(24:27):
Because it would mark me up his Snapchat.
I'm like, who are you burying?
Like, insane, insane.
Snapchat, that must have been the recipe for divorce, recipe.
Yeah, and that divorced a lot of high schoolers.
And I'm telling you, this guy is probably her best friend.
(24:47):
So it's just, you know.
Yeah, I hate to be the bearer of bad news.
I don't know if she has slept with this guy.
I mean, you're younger.
Just by the kind of way this was written,
I had to change it so that more people would understand.
You're younger.
She might not have slept with this guy,
but I'm telling you, in her lifetime,
(25:09):
she will sleep with this guy.
It the best possible scenario
is that she doesn't have feelings for him.
Like she thinks they're just friends,
and he is waiting for your downfall.
But I know a lot of people that this has happened to.
I'm not, no, we're just good guy friends.
Now we're dating.
(25:30):
It happens all the time.
Honestly, this is kind of bad advice, but rip the bandaid.
It's gonna happen eventually, break up.
I just feel like, it's the fact it's on Snapchat
where it's not saved.
It's not like there's no record.
If this was like texting a guy friend
who's kind of chill and cool,
(25:53):
I don't think that's a place
where you have to be super possessive.
I think that's probably okay.
But all day?
Snapchatting, you said all day Snapchatting.
That's kind of, that feels like that
breaks a couple barriers more than texting a guy friend
that's like, hey, what do we got going on?
I don't know.
Even texting a guy friend is just,
(26:15):
it's odd because there's,
I feel like there's some intentions there.
Like maybe if you're younger, younger,
like I remember when I was much younger,
but also technology was different then, I don't know.
But I text people like all day
because I wanted to text them, but like, I don't know.
I feel like if you're doing it now,
it's like someone in that situation has feelings.
(26:39):
And I just think if she's being kind of shady
about stuff to you, she may also have feelings.
Yeah.
So yeah, what we're saying,
the advice we're giving for your girlfriend
having a guy friend she talks to all the time on Snapchat,
me just saying that aloud isn't saying,
just get out of there.
(27:00):
It just feels like this is gonna be,
end up being a fight or it's gonna keep coming up.
And maybe it's just better that
you're just not in that relationship.
Or you have the conversation and she cuts it off.
That's the other option.
You just be like, I'm uncomfortable with this.
And if she respects the relationship,
you say, I'm uncomfortable with this.
I don't think you need to be snapping this guy all the time.
It's a little weird.
(27:20):
It kind of crosses my boundaries.
At that point, maybe you could,
maybe that would remedy the situation
and you would see that she would stop talking to him.
But if she doesn't, then it's just kind of weird
and I would get out of the relationship.
Yeah, I can't believe we gave him advice to break up
before we said that part.
I still kind of stand by the breakup advice though,
because if you ever slip up,
(27:40):
who do you think she's turning to?
She's going to him.
She's like, Jason was mean to me.
And he's like, I would never be mean to you.
I'd never be mean to you.
Look at me without a shirt on.
Like David Dobrik.
So topical.
So on time.
(28:02):
Nailed it, nailed it.
All right, let's jump into the next one, yeah?
Yeah, the next one.
Girl I'm dating has a 1950s fetish.
What should I do?
Girl I'm dating has a 1950s fetish, Jamie.
What are you doing in that situation?
I don't know what the problem is.
(28:22):
Congrats.
I would maybe,
I would probably break out the hair gel, hear me out here.
Break out the hair gel,
break out a nice leather jacket,
start practicing your Elvis impression.
You gotta grow that burning love, baby.
What are we doing?
You gotta start slicking it back, leather jacket.
(28:44):
You gotta start snapping in unison with your friends
when you walk around and she'll be swooned.
She'll be all over you.
It doesn't, honestly, I don't think it's a problem.
I would just go in, I would feed into it.
What's the issue here?
Yeah, I'm gonna give you a little other advice.
Personally, if I got the advice saying,
hey, become like an Elvis impersonator,
(29:05):
it wouldn't work for me.
So go the other direction.
Just start talking with that mid-Atlantic accent.
You know where it's like, no, yeah, baby.
I can't do it too well.
Like an old timey person at a casino flipping a chip.
Oh yeah, baby.
Is that what you mean?
Yeah, yeah.
(29:26):
The ones you'd hear on broadcasts, like, wow, baby.
This is terrible.
Terrible.
Terrible.
This is an impression podcast.
I wanna, it's like a life goal.
I wanna hire an impressionist
to get me really good at impressions.
Oh, dude, I'm terrible at impressions.
I would never do them.
(29:47):
Okay, yeah, so honestly, I think that's all we got for you.
That's all we got.
Start feeding into the 1950s thing.
Become Elvis, start greasing the hair back,
buy a leather jacket, you're fine.
You're good.
It sounds like it would be a fun time too.
What's the issue?
Yeah, hope it works out for you, buddy.
All right, the next one.
Am I becoming too attached to AI?
(30:12):
For reference, I am 17 years old in the mail,
though I will be 18 very soon.
I've been using AI for a few years now
on platforms like Character AI and similar.
I'm worried about my connection to these unreal characters.
I create my own on the platform and chat with them.
Sometimes I stay up late in the night talking to them.
I gave it up once for like six months about a year ago,
(30:34):
but I just ended up coming back.
It's difficult.
None of my relationships are suffering because of this.
I do have a boyfriend and a group of friends
I socialized on the regular, as well as a job.
I'm just worried because I noticed that while I talked
to them, I seem to be unable to stop.
What do I do?
I don't know if I can give it up cold turkey
like I have in the past, but is there a way I can regulate it
(30:56):
without being tempted to stay on it for hours?
This is crazy to me.
I'm going to try to answer this as seriously as possible,
but this sound, I don't know, this guy is eight years younger
than me, call it seven.
This sounds so dystopian.
It's crazy.
(31:19):
It does sound dystopian, but I'll be honest,
that's probably the future we're going for.
I think this dude might just be a hit.
We're going for, I think this dude might just be ahead
of his time.
Not the first person I've heard that this has been a thing.
It's actually insane.
(31:40):
I would give yourself barriers personally,
and a more heartfelt realistic answer
than our normal intern answer.
I feel like this is going to become a serious problem.
I would give yourself barriers to what you use AI for
and communicate to AI.
I genuinely believe AI should be more of an assistant
(32:01):
to tasks, not completing the tasks.
I think this is true with work.
I think this is true with just about any type of life.
I think it should be a really good proofreader,
really good assistant.
I think it should help alongside.
I think AI should be helping with the work,
not doing the work.
And I think probably in your relationship,
I think that'd probably be the same thing.
(32:22):
I don't think it should be your relationship,
but if you talk to it to maybe help you through a tough time,
I feel like at some point,
I bet there's gonna be AI therapists,
and I think that's probably not so far away.
I just feel like it should be an assistant
to the rest of your life.
I don't think it should be your life.
Yeah, I think what really matters
(32:43):
is a bit of reflection on your part.
How are you talking to this chatbot?
And I think you also have to recognize,
you need to be very aware you're talking to yourself.
Like this isn't...
AI is just kind of the newest version of this,
but you've always been able to talk to a computer.
(33:04):
Generations have been doing it.
Now it's just skinned as Harry Potter
or some other character.
You're talking to...
You're not talking to anyone.
This is a computer program,
and you really are just kind of talking to the wall here.
And I think you kind of need to be very upfront
(33:26):
and objective and honest with yourself
that you're seeking some sort of companionship
from these AI characters or these AI chatbots.
And you're also talking about this like it's an addiction.
And so I think maybe it kind of is.
People can become addicted.
(33:47):
We hear the usual vices like drugs or gambling,
but anything could be an addiction.
Social media can be an addiction.
And so I think you just have to realize
you are addicted to this.
This isn't, of course, it's not a normal thing,
and it's not really a healthy thing, I'd argue.
And so I'd, A, look at, try to figure out
(34:08):
what's causing you to feel this way.
Like, do you need some...
Are you really getting that socialization
that you're looking for?
Like, are you being more intimate,
like an honest and like a best friend with these chatbots
where you don't have that connection with your real friends?
You know, just kind of figuring that out.
And like you said, put boundaries in place
(34:29):
to kind of prevent that from happening.
And if all else fails, watch the movie Her,
which is this exact story that is read right here.
The movie Her with Joaquin Phoenix, it's one of my top five.
Scarlett Johansson's The Voice He Falls In Love With.
It's a great movie, but this exact problem
is like kind of tackled in that, which is so insane
(34:50):
because I think that came out like eight years ago.
And it has nothing to do with AI now.
And I don't even think AI was kind of like even started then.
But I think that's a pretty good look
at what this situation kind of looks like.
But yeah, I agree with Jamie.
I think you probably need to reassess
what you're getting out of this
(35:12):
and really figure out where you can pull that from,
that might be more real than AI.
But sorry going through that, that's actually kind of rough.
And I feel like this is gonna be an issue
that will continue to plague future generations.
I imagine it's not stopping anytime soon.
Yeah, yeah.
(35:33):
There's something deeper there.
I think everyone's had access to this tool.
To a bit better, it's a bit shinier now,
but everyone's had this outlet.
And so there's probably a deeper problem there.
But next question.
My friend keeps getting ghosted after first dates.
I have this friend who I've known for seven years
(35:53):
for the longest time she has been complaining
about going out on first dates,
only met through dating apps and getting ghosted
or the classic, this isn't going to work out.
There are two main reasons actually.
The first is that she's a pretty hefty lady
and all her profile pics are from deceptive angles
with lots of filters.
(36:14):
The filters cover her constantly greasy hair.
Wow, you really roast this person.
She really, really has an issue with showering.
I was cursed with a sensitive nose.
Not only does she smell bad, but she smell bad in general,
but I can tell that a good bit of the scent
is coming from down below.
(36:35):
She told me the story of her taking a guy home
from the bar, things were getting hot and heavy
and clothes were coming off.
Long story short, they could not go any further.
He took a bathroom break and made it out the window,
I'm guessing.
Essentially, not only does she do catfish,
she also reeks really bad.
(36:56):
How can I tell her or do I even bother?
So there's two things that here.
There's her getting ghosted because she's catfishing
and there's her hygiene.
You absolutely tell her about the hygiene.
100%. I don't know if this has ever happened to you.
One of my friends kinda had a problem with this.
I think his was less intentional,
(37:20):
but it was just like, we just kinda said something.
I just had to say something, I was like,
hey, this is a thing, you gotta deal with it.
It caused a little bit of ruffles.
You gotta, it ruffled some feathers,
you gotta kinda say it nicely,
but she was like, I don't know,
I'm just gonna kinda say it nicely,
(37:40):
but she's not gonna take it well
because it's embarrassing
and she might immediately be like, ugh.
But you gotta say it and she'll come around.
It's not gonna end a friendship.
If it does end a friendship, who cares, she's stinky.
See, I went a different path thinking about this one.
Thinking about this one, I feel like,
(38:01):
you know what I would do?
I don't think I would tell her directly.
I think that would be maybe a little tough.
Maybe you could feed around that bush.
It's also easier with the girl here,
just because I feel like, I don't know,
girls kinda pride themselves in their hygiene and stuff
and I feel like it wouldn't be a hard convince.
I would personally be like, oh, you're going on a new date,
congratulations, oh, that's gonna be a lot of fun.
(38:23):
And I would honestly gift her a scent,
honestly, go to bed, bath and beyond
and get a little goody bag of a lotion, a conditioner,
a body wash and a perfume that are all the same scent
and be like, you should try this out, I bet he'll love it.
And I bet she ends up trying it
(38:44):
because she's gonna be like, oh, she recommended this,
this is a friend I see dearly, she got me this gift,
it would be wrong for me not to try it.
And I think that honestly, might be the nicest way
of telling her without being like, you're stinky girl,
like, what are we doing?
I think giving her the little gift of like,
everything in the same scent category
and just almost like a little,
(39:05):
oh, let's prep you up for this first day,
I know you've had a couple of hard ones.
Yeah.
Let's see how we can approach this together.
Now, what about the catfishing, Jamie?
I think the catfishing is something she might just,
like, it might be something
where you have to let her get ghosted again.
And then you go, oh, well, what if I take a look
(39:25):
and try to help out with your profile?
And like, you just select new photos for her.
But that, honestly, the catfishing part of it,
it's her bed, like, I'd let her lay in it.
There's not too much you can do.
Because I think that's something
she'll figure out on her own.
Maybe she already knows it,
(39:46):
and this is kind of like a defense mechanism.
But I think the bigger thing is her being like,
a little stinky.
Yeah.
And like, you know, not everyone's gonna fall
for the catfish or is gonna be bothered by it.
Like that one guy wasn't, but she was stinky.
So I think just jumping back to that smell thing
(40:07):
and the hygiene, I like the idea of buying all that shampoo
and like that kit.
I think it's a really nice, soft way
to kind of gesture at it.
There's a chance she still doesn't use it,
puts it on the counter, leaves it there.
If that's happening,
I do think you gotta be a little hardball with it.
But-
That's fair, that's fair.
And I think the catfish thing, I'll be honest,
(40:29):
I think it's so much less of a problem now,
because I feel like everybody posts these amazing photos
that are super, you know, super clear skin, super skinny,
super like perfectly set.
And I just feel like that's just part of, I think,
not that, you know, not that I've gone dating in forever,
(40:50):
but I feel like I don't, don't-
In my defense, that's just how I look.
Yeah.
Yeah, I just feel like,
I feel like you would just end up figuring it out.
And I think that's kind of just part of dating now.
And I don't think that would be something
that would be the main reason that
you would not talk to someone.
(41:10):
Unless these photos are so insanely like face tuned,
that it looks like you're going out with Jessica Alba
or something, I think you're probably fine.
Yeah.
And I think that's just kind of part of dating.
And I think some people will accept it,
and some people won't.
But I think the stinky thing isn't something
that most people would accept.
Yeah, I think that's going to cause more problems
broadly in her life, whereas a few bad dates,
(41:32):
not the end of the world.
Yeah.
All right, this next one.
Speaking in a stereotypical gay voice
is one of the best icebreakers to talk to women.
I usually don't know how to talk to women.
I find attractive in bars, clubs, et cetera.
I always, I'm always very awkward.
However, after a couple of beers,
(41:53):
I have found myself speaking in a sort of
flamboyant, stereotypical gay voice,
and have found more luck in speaking to women.
I always slip into my normal voice shortly thereafter,
and will address it.
They always laugh it off,
and then we can start having conversations
where I'm completely myself.
I think it's the best icebreaker for men like me
(42:14):
who are typically awkward around women
and don't want to appear threatening
upon first interaction.
Would y'all say this is a decent first interaction?
Would y'all say this is a decent first step
towards talking to women?
Dude, I honestly, I'll be honest, I think it's great.
I think-
What are you saying?
(42:35):
What are you saying right now?
I think, I don't think talking in the stereotypical
gay voice is great.
I think it's great finding something you're comfortable with
to break the ice.
I think you kind of get a routine.
You got to play it up in your head
and figure out what steps to take to break that ice.
And what I think, I don't know,
I wouldn't do a gay voice, but I think maybe
(42:56):
if that's his icebreaker that helps him get the foot
in the door in a new conversation,
I don't see anything wrong with it.
No, no, no.
Am I so off, am I so off-pulser?
I think it's hilarious.
I completely disagree.
I've never disagreed with something more.
This is psycho behavior.
I don't think these women are laughing it off.
I think they're uncomfortable.
(43:19):
You're saying this is the easiest icebreaker
so that you don't appear threatening?
Are you saying me?
I'm not saying it.
No, not you, not you.
I wouldn't do it.
Oh, okay.
I thought you were calling me out.
I was like, I'm not gonna say it's a...
This person says...
I'm saying if you get something that works for you,
it works for you.
They're saying it's so they don't appear threatening.
Dude, maybe just don't dress like a douche.
(43:40):
I don't know what you're doing.
You're probably rolling up with a completely unbuttoned polo
or something and an open Michelob Ultra.
It's like, hey, it's like, dude, what are you doing?
I just feel like, do I love this one?
(44:02):
Would I ever do this one?
No, but I feel like picking up...
I think you just need to pick something
that you're comfortable with doing.
I don't think it's that...
I think this one's maybe a little out there,
but I don't think it's like...
This is so out there.
It's out there, but I don't know.
It just doesn't feel that...
It doesn't feel that insane to me.
I just, I don't know.
(44:22):
Maybe Ria, maybe ask...
What am I gonna say?
Ask the girl, get a review, have her give you five stars?
Yeah.
I don't know, but I just feel like...
What do you think about me doing a gay voice
in the beginning of this conversation?
Just gonna ask you a quick little...
What do you think about me calling you queen
when we started this?
How do you feel about me?
Dude, I need our female viewers or listeners
(44:46):
to really weigh in on this one.
If you see me or Noah at the club, all right,
and we roll up just like a...
Hey, girlies.
It's like...
Hey, girlies.
And then we go, so...
It's just...
I wonder if that's what he's doing,
because that would be...
I honestly think it would...
(45:08):
I feel like it would be kind of funny,
and I feel like some people would find it kind of funny.
I think there's a certain audience that would be like,
okay, dude, what's the point of this?
Like, okay, dude, what the hell are we doing here?
But I don't think...
I think icebreakers are hard.
I think talking to new people is hard.
And I think finding a routine that works for you
(45:29):
to break that ice and get yourself confident
in that conversation is good.
Completely agree with that.
Should you be doing it in a gay voice?
I don't know.
Hey, girlies.
Hey, girlies, what are we doing?
What's the mood?
And then you're like, you wanna make love ultra?
What are you drinking?
(45:49):
There's a non-zero amount of people
who are gonna comment on this in response to that question
and say they don't find either one of us threatening.
So I think we're about to get humbled.
I don't think either one of us come across as threatening.
I feel like we're both pretty...
(46:10):
I think we're pretty white boy, white bread type characters.
I feel like we wouldn't come across threatening
in a bar setting.
No, but I think they're gonna say this
in a little bit more of an insulting way.
Like when people say like,
oh, I don't think you could win a fight.
I think that's the way they mean it.
(46:31):
Well, I don't think we could.
So, you know, it's...
Depends how old the child is.
When I used to go out with my...
I used to go out with...
What the hell?
I'm not even addressing it.
It's a slow burn.
Not even addressing it.
Not even addressing it.
When I used to go out with my friends,
we went to a few like rock concerts and stuff.
(46:53):
And I went and a few like...
I feel like it wasn't even the rock concerts
that were as bad.
We went to like some other shows.
And we always had a rule,
not that we ever had to use it luckily,
but we had the rule that if one of our friends
get like in a fight, all of us have to jump in.
Like there is no like, there is no let those one-on-one.
There's none of that.
It's everyone jumps in and defends the bro,
(47:15):
defends the buddy.
Yeah.
And I'll tell you right now, if that ever did happen,
you got the least like...
We're all athletic and we're all tall,
but none of us can fight.
It would have been the saddest,
like three of us getting our butts whooped at the club.
But we would have gone down together, right?
Like...
It's very interesting for me.
(47:36):
I've got...
I think I have like pretty two distinct groups of friends.
I have like my hometown friends and my college friends.
And my hometown friends just by the nature of it,
they're all genetic like specimen.
They're all like, no, I shouldn't say specimens.
They're just, they're fat dudes who work the trades.
So they're big and strong and they're all six foot plus.
(47:59):
They just tower over me.
So it's like, if I was ever with them,
dude, I'd be running my mouth.
Are you kidding me?
My college friends though, a lot more my height.
I'm not looking up as much.
And they're probably lower than me in weight.
So, you know, I'm gonna say a lot more sorrys with them.
A lot more sorrys.
(48:21):
I think I've only been in a situation
where I almost got in a fight once.
And it turned out into me like shoving a kid to like
the ground in a freaking...
Kid, okay, we're at a concert.
I can't even remember what band it was.
Yeah, can't remember what band it was.
You know, it might've been like Mayday Parade.
Like it was not a hard band.
I don't, you probably don't know the reference.
(48:41):
No clue, not a night.
Okay, just picture like a generic pop punk type band
with like happy go lucky tracks.
And picture some like, I don't know,
he's probably like five eight and like heavy set.
He was kind of a bulky guy.
Just starts trying to open a pit
at like the worst possible time.
And for some reason he picked me as like the enemy
(49:04):
for the pit and rammed into me like three times.
And I was, I literally looked at the kid
and I like kind of pushed him off me.
I'm like, dude, you better like,
and he kind of looks at me like makes eye contact.
I'm like, dude, you better just like chill out.
And then he comes into me again.
And I just hit him with like the hardest like bow
to like the shoulder, a kid goes down
and my friend comes like moving over
and he's like, dude, I was like, yeah, I'm fucking good.
(49:25):
Like this kid's like trying to open a pit.
This dude's trying to open a pit during an acoustic song.
Like what are we doing here?
The slow song.
Yeah, I'm like, dude, they're dancing like a middle,
it looks like a middle school dance out here.
And this guy's open in a pit trying to run into me.
He's hit me three times.
And then one of his buddies come over
and we're kind of standing there.
(49:45):
And I'm not an intimidating guy.
I'm just like tall.
I'm like six one.
My other buddy, you know, I was there with Josh.
He's six one.
I'm there with my other friend.
He's six.
We're all tall, but all of us are skinny.
I'm just like, dude, he wanted to start a pit
and the kid's kind of like, okay, fine.
And we're like, yeah, let's move on.
And let's not start a pit during the acoustic set.
How about we start there?
So I think our advice could be boiled down broadly
(50:08):
to this guy.
Noah thinks you can keep on keeping on.
Me and the women think this is very weird
and you should stop doing this and reflect on why women
are uncomfortable with you in the first place.
Okay, so we got our last question here for the podcast.
I poop big.
(50:29):
Tick, tick.
Amen, brother.
Amen, brother.
I poop big, stop.
And I'm moving into a door with multiple roommates.
I used to break up my poop.
I used to break up my poops with sticks and old hangers,
(50:51):
but I can no longer do that.
I've been to the doctors over this situation,
the big poops, and my doctor says,
it's normal sometimes to have big poops.
I'm glad you clarified what the situation was.
The situation, the big poops.
But I'm scared because every time I poop,
(51:12):
I'd break it up so it didn't clog the toilet.
I'm planning on taking Miralax to help.
However, I'm still really nervous.
I'm aware about clogging the toilet tomorrow.
I'm scared about clogging the toilet tomorrow.
I have to use the bathroom as we speak
and I don't think the Miralax can help at this point.
(51:33):
What should I do?
Jamie.
Dude, this is fantastic.
I'm sorry you're struggling with this.
I think this guy actually struggles
with a whole lot of stuff because if you think about it,
whenever I take a real big poop,
I'm honestly proud of it
and I kinda wanna send a picture to someone,
(51:54):
but I know no one wants to see a picture of my poop,
so I don't send a picture.
Edit or clip in a picture of Jamie's poop right here.
It's just a mind-blowing joke.
A mind-blowing joke right here.
I'm not gonna sit here and act like I'm the only one
that feels that way.
I know that other people sometimes are proud of their poops
and this guy is probably proud of every poop he takes.
(52:17):
So, assuming you don't send it to everyone,
I think that's big of you
and I think you're a better person than I.
That being said, you got a problem here, that's for sure.
I could not picture.
So you have like a poop stick in the bathroom
or a poop hanger that like stayed next to the toilet
(52:38):
at your family house that you break up your poops with?
This sounds, it sounds insane, I'll be honest.
You're going into a dorm.
I feel like dorms usually have decent plumbing.
I don't know if I'd be as nervous
about a dorm toilet as it would a residential toilet,
but worse comes to, it really depends
(53:01):
on what type of the bathroom situation.
Is this like, you've got four people that share one bathroom
or is the whole floor sharing a bathroom?
Because if it's the whole floor sharing a bathroom,
you know what I would do?
I would drop the deuce, get up, waddle out,
make sure, check the way, go to the stall next to it
if it doesn't flush and finish there.
And you're like, and when you leave,
(53:24):
you gotta make sure you catch someone going out
and you're like, dude, don't go into stall five.
You're not trying to go in there.
Dude, there's a Mondo Duke in there.
And the person can be like, oh, thanks, man.
And they will never suspect a thing.
Someone left a log in stall four.
Stall four, dude, Mondo Duke, don't go in there, man.
Don't know who did it, but that thing ain't flushing.
(53:46):
Oh my God, dude.
This is so, yeah, this is a real problem for the kid.
I agree, dorm toilets, probably a bit stronger
than your house toilet.
But A, you either gotta get a poop stick.
I think eventually you gotta get a poop stick.
But I knew this kid in college
(54:06):
who did this game with his buddies
where you could only,
people could only poop in a building once.
It was like last man standing.
And so once someone pooped in that building, it was claimed.
And so it was real easy for them for the first few days.
But seven days into it, it was like a group of five people.
(54:30):
Like seven days into it,
they were making like cross-campus treks
just to lay a log in like a porta potty
because it hadn't been used.
Insane behavior.
One of the funniest things,
one of the funniest bits I've ever seen somebody pull.
How does it help you?
Probably doesn't,
but like go to maybe the ground floor of your dorm.
(54:54):
There's probably a shared bathroom there
and kind of like test the waters figuratively and literally.
Or find yourself a pooping spot,
a good place that you can go poop.
I knew all the buildings-
Actually, the porta potty was the great idea.
They don't flush.
Well, it depends if the campus might not have porta potties
(55:15):
and they're kind of gross.
But for me, whenever I had to use the bathroom on campus,
they had just built a beautiful new building on campus.
Cost 300 mil, it was like six stories.
Fantastic bathrooms.
I'd go there, go to floor four
because like ground floor is busy.
(55:37):
Second one up, probably a little busy.
Nobody's on floor four.
Used the bathroom there.
It was always just me.
And I'd have a lovely time.
It was great.
Or you could find like the family bathroom
that has a lock on it.
Once again, you gotta go to like a different place.
But if you clock it, when you open the door,
you look quick and just move, just go.
(55:58):
Just go, it never happened.
It's a hit and run.
You're in good shape.
You're in good shape.
You know what?
What if you own it?
What if you're just like, this won't work really.
What if you're the poop guy?
And no, in the shared bathroom, it's not gonna work.
But like if there's the like floor bathroom
and you're just the guy who clocks the toilet,
(56:20):
that might just be your thing.
And honestly, it makes you stand out a little bit.
People might think this like you're the guy.
And then guys are dumb.
And especially like college freshmen are dumb.
I think you and your buddies probably have like a day
(56:43):
where they get really amused by the fact
that you almost always clock the toilet.
And they really try to pack you full of food
at the dining hall.
And it becomes a big celebration your next poop.
You could become the big poops guy.
Big poops guy.
I guess it's, you know, that's our advice here.
You become the big poops guy.
First advice, big poops guy.
(57:04):
That's what you become, the big poops guy.
Second advice, you find a different bathroom
in a nice renovated building
that costs 300 million fourth floor.
And you claim that bathroom,
you claim that toilet is your toilet.
That's our advice here.
That is our advice.
Yeah.
Dude, I think we nailed that.
Solving problems. Take that to the bank.
(57:25):
Take that to the bank.
Oh man.
Yeah.
Anything you wanna promote before we sign off here?
The only thing I have to promote
is that we did get our first ride in this episode
to our email at professionalinternspodcast.gmail.
And if you would like your advice
(57:45):
ever so eloquently answered by Jamie and I,
please go email us at professionalinternspodcast.gmail.
Other than that-
I think my headphones broke up there.
Did you say professionalinternspodcast.gmail.com?
Yeah, I think I did say
professionalinternspodcast.gmail.com.
That is P-R-O-F-E-S-F.
(58:07):
We're not doing that.
We're not doing that.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Awesome. Yeah.
And follow us on the socials or in the links below.
As for me, I think I have,
what this should be coming out in like 10 days or so.
Hmm.
I should have a new video out by then.
Gotta edit it, but we'll see if I get down
(58:29):
to business this week.
Respect it.
I respect it.
Other than that, I guess we will see all of you guys
in that next podcast.
Oh, you will.
You'll hear us in that next podcast.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
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