Ep.4 - Jamie Messed Up - Professional Interns

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Are we recording this time?

(00:08):
Is it working?
Hi.
Sound, your mic sounds better.
Yeah.
Hey guys, welcome back to the Professional Interns podcast.
It's a comedy advice podcast where two friends talk and sometimes one friend chooses the
wrong mic and we have to redo it.
Who do you think it was?
Hint it wasn't me.

(00:29):
So, yeah, I've been in the office for the past 24, 36 trying to save this one.
It ain't happening.
No one else isn't being saved.
TikTok.
Arguable, arguable.
We're recording, I feel like we should preface this.
We're recording this the Sunday TikTok got banned.

(00:52):
It is January 19th.
We recorded last episode yesterday.
We talked all about how TikTok was getting banned.
It was the last day, yada yada.
And then TikTok did get banned.
And then like an hour before we started recording, TikTok is back up.

(01:12):
So what we're saying is that it's not a good topic for us to talk about.
So hypothetically, Jamie, let's say TikTok actually gets banned.
We don't know what's going to happen.
What are you doing with that extra time you just got back?
What are you doing with that time?
Well, here's the thing, right?
We're not dealing with any hypotheticals.
We've got to draw a line in the sand and we've got to take a bet.

(01:35):
It's a 50-50, yes or no.
Are you asking me to bet?
It's staying.
It's not going anywhere.
I would honestly, I would put actual money on this.
It's not going anywhere.
Actual money, what?
No.
But in the hypothetical world, I'm getting two hours back.
I'm going on reels.
No, I'm kidding.
Dude, I hope Zuckerberg is listening to this.

(02:01):
I hate you.
I spent my, I'm not going to lie.
I opened reels this morning while I was in bed and I was like, let me swipe on something.
TikTok's down.
Let me try reels.
It doesn't hit the same, man.
I feel like it gets a little sketchy at times.
The ads on reels are much better.
I will say that because you get in those like Facebook meta ads.

(02:23):
These are actually produced ads.
It's not like some random guy trying to sell you a mighty bar or something.
It is a produced piece, but the actual content there is either super highly produced or it
is like security camera of a machinery accident.

(02:43):
This is what I'm getting there.
It makes me uncomfortable.
You don't know what you're going to swipe on next.
They're saying slurs in chat.
The comments unfiltered and they're only getting worse.
They're only getting worse.
It's a terrible scene.
It's a terrible scene.
Would not recommend.
Even aside from that, I watch, like this glitch happens to me all the time where I'll watch

(03:06):
like five reels and then it will just like start loading after three seconds.
Like it'll pause and it'll be this infinite load and then I'll go to the next reel and
it will do the same thing.
And the only way to fix it is to close the app and then you lose your spot.
And also while I'm on the, on the point of ranted about reels, I don't like that when

(03:27):
you tap, it doesn't pause.
It mutes it.
I didn't want to mute it.
I wanted to pause it.
I don't like that.
There's no two times speed on it.
Sometimes I'm listening to like some crappy story and I'm like, let's get to the point,
but I don't want to miss anything in the middle there.
So I just want to hold my finger and fast forward.
That ain't a thing.
You got to add it.
Yeah, unless there's, is there another way I don't know about?

(03:49):
I don't know.
I have no clue.
I don't use it that much.
I wouldn't, I wouldn't recommend it.
I wouldn't recommend it.
Uh, so what I'm saying is we got to go to a lemon eight.
Is that the other one?
No, that was also owned by tick tock.
It got banned as well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just making my way down a Chinese, uh, Chinese apps.
Red note is the one that's like legitimately properly Chinese and I wasn't going to download

(04:14):
it at first, but then I got really annoyed.
Like I started really, the, the band really set in, this was a few days ago and I got
really upset and I downloaded it.
I downloaded it.
I made an account because here's my thing.
My professional interns is on, they are using our videos to our Chinese listeners.

(04:38):
Look, here's the thing.
I didn't want to download red note, but cause I was like, Oh, I probably shouldn't give
the Chinese government my data.
Like, like I'm, I feel like I'm inviting it a bit more in doing it, but then I got real
annoyed at the U S government and I was like, what is the Chinese government going to really

(05:00):
do to me?
Like me as an individual there, they, I don't think they really care.
So but it becomes a problem when me and a few million others give our information to
the Chinese government, that becomes a problem, not for us, but for like the U S government.
Like it's basically like I'm putting my ignorance on someone else.

(05:23):
So I downloaded it cause I was like, I want to make a problem for those old heads.
You know, I, I, I paid for one of those, this is the great opportunity for a sponsor read,
by the way.
I paid for one of those, who knows which one, one of those like data removed sites.
So I know the Chinese government ain't got nothing on me.
They can't get my information now that I got it removed from a white page.

(05:46):
It's right.
There's no other way for them to get my data.
I know it.
I know we're in the clear.
I'm, I think I'm being a little sarcastic there.
They have my data.
I don't think it's probably, I don't think they pulled it off a white page is that's
all I'm saying.
Yeah.
I don't think they're giving me a call.
I mean, actually I got like an email alert from like a different service that said, Hey,

(06:06):
we found your, your data on the dark web.
And that reminded me of the conversation we had about like the data removal services.
So I was like, all right, let me look into this.
You can't get your info off the dark web.
So I'm kind of shocked there, but, but I was like, all right, well, I should probably look
into this anyways.
And so like I looked at them and then I was like, what is out there for me?

(06:28):
You know?
Like I Googled some stuff on me, dude, you ever get humbled by Googling yourself?
What do you mean?
Nothing comes up.
Oh, I was like, actually I, I, so I've been in a very long-term war with, if you know
blue bloods, the show, uh, because your name's Jamie Reagan.

(06:50):
They have a character, Jamie Reagan.
Um, and if you search a Jamie Reagan, it assumes that you're spelling my name wrong or assumed
you're spelling that person's name wrong.
But right now, if you search it, it actually, it pulls up the fictional character.
I've won the battle on YouTube.
I think like, if you search Jamie Reagan, I come up now, it took a while, but we got

(07:14):
there.
Uh, but if you search Jamie, you can on Google.
Last time I checked what comes up is that fictional cop from blue bloods, but it has
a preview of my YouTube video as well.
So we're fighting.
If you, uh, luckily there's a, quite a few Noah Carones didn't know this.
There was like, there was like a semi-professional hockey player fills up the space a little

(07:39):
bit also from new England.
So you never know kind of saving me a little bit there.
And then there's like a couple others.
And I was like, eh, eh.
I did pay for the service.
And honestly, I don't know how much they took down, but I got an email saying they took
down like, you know, like 200 listing.
I'm like, did you really though?
I, I, I like, I know proof.

(08:00):
They just say they took down these listings.
I don't know.
Maybe they did.
I just explained text to email.
I played text like you're good, not formatted.
Nothing.
You're good from iPhone.
Data removed.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
I think they worked.
I, I, I'll be honest, I'm not going to lie.

(08:21):
I have gotten less scam calls.
Yeah.
I, I don't know.
I think it's the data brokers that it's big on.
I have gotten less scam calls.
I don't know if I've gotten less emails because my every email goes to spam.
I actually, my email, although I have, you know, like 20,000 of them or something insane,
they're actually well filtered by Google's already like in-house filter.
So I don't really check those.

(08:42):
So I don't know, but I definitely have gotten less phone calls.
So they did do a good job there.
I'd take one of those sponsors.
A hundred percent.
I think it's a good, I think it's a good service and it gives maybe, maybe it gives a little
bit more peace of mind than it should, but it gave it gave me a little bit of peace of
mind.
What's the shadiest sponsor we could take.
I'm not going to start calling out sponsors.

(09:04):
I, I, anything crypto is I don't even think I would take a crypto wallet.
If I'm being honest, I just,
We can't do intern coin.
What the heck?
I want to intern coin.
I think I'm dodging anything crypto.
I think, I think I just, I don't like the space to start with.
I'm personally not invested.
I just, I just don't know about the space.

(09:26):
I feel like blockchain and crypto gets overhyped and then underhyped.
And then I, I don't think I,
Bro, it's the future.
I don't think I know enough about it.
It'd be like, Oh, give me your money.
I'll pitch your crypto wallet.
I don't, I just, I don't, I don't love it.
So I think that would probably for me be one of the worst sponsors,
but this probably other ones.

(09:47):
I did.
If you went down the list of like the most hated YouTube sponsors every morning,
I'm in their inbox.
We're still waiting to get the, the title.
Yeah.
Whatever that the scam titles, I forget what they were.
You want to be a Lord or a lady.
I can't think of it.

(10:08):
Hell yeah.
If you break that out in 2025 when it was canceled in 2020, 30, I think you're,
that's honestly next level.
I think we or so back doing that.
I went to about a year ago, I went to Ireland cause I have,
my girlfriend has like family there.
And so we were there and my, I don't know the relation,

(10:32):
my girlfriend's sister's fiance, you gotta get a word for that.
He's like, he's Irish.
And sisters, future brother-in-law.
So yeah, on that, on that path, kind of down that line.
Once removed.
Yeah.
So it's something like that.
He was like, Oh, is there anywhere you want to see?
And I was like, like, like we were in like Dublin and Galway and I was like, Oh, you

(10:59):
know, it'd be, be cool to see a castle.
And he's like, what's up with you Americans in castles?
I'm like, I'm like, what?
He's like, that's all you guys want to do.
Apparently it's every Americans like, I want to see a castle.
You know what I came, I saw, I conquered.
It was a cool castle.
Oh, okay.

(11:20):
Okay.
That's, that's good.
I feel like, you know what I keep seeing and I keep seeing this like, uh, uh, actually
on Tik TOK before his band, people being like, why don't they build buildings like this anymore?
And they show like the most beautiful cathedral you've ever seen, or I saw somebody say they
can't build the pyramids again.
If they tried, what the hell?

(11:42):
If we wanted to build the pyramids, we could build the pyramids.
What do you, I think the most pyramid like thing that we've built fast bro shop, the
second most thing that we've built like the world wonder ask, uh, genuinely I think it's
the sphere.

(12:02):
Honestly, would that become one of the world wonders?
One of the world wonders is the sphere built in 2024.
I we are technology, but it's cool.
I agree.
And I keep seeing like EDM shows there like on, on like whatever online and dude, it's
honestly so cool.

(12:24):
Like I, I'm going to, uh, I'm going to Vegas for my, uh, for Josh's bachelor party.
And uh, I, I'm really trying to get us to go see the sphere.
The problem is there's nothing.
We either see a nature documentary in the sphere or we see you too, which I'm not opposed
to only two people.
It's the only two people doing anything there, but I feel like it could be a really good

(12:47):
time.
Yeah.
I've heard good things about it.
It is an eyesore I think, but like we put it in Vegas, everything in Vegas is an eyesore.
Yeah, dude, you got like the little Eiffel tower down the road.
You actually got another pyramid, right?
Isn't there a pyramid casino?
This like the Sphinx one.
There's a bunch of everything's ugly in Vegas.

(13:07):
It's that's kind of part of the appeal though.
Going to Vegas, dude, if I went to Vegas, I'd get PTSD seeing that Eiffel tower from
your time in Paris.
I feel like this is going to become a cornerstone of this podcast.
Jamie's regretful trip to Paris.
I think that's just a cornerstone of my life.

(13:29):
I worked through it in therapy.
How long were you there?
One year.
About a year, about a year.
Look, I don't know how we're going to do this, but I need to hear your gym story again, because
I think it was a good story, but obviously I've already heard it.
I could just share it.
You share it.
I'll play into it because it's going to end up as a clip.

(13:52):
So I'm really going to dial it up.
Is this whole conversation we have right now in the podcast?
Yeah, this isn't the podcast.
Is it in the clip?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
So I was at the gym, New Year's resolution.
I go to the gym.
I'm at the gym and I'm sitting there doing the butterflies.
You know, this guy, this guy, and a guy walks up to me and I kind of look up and he's making

(14:16):
eye contact with me.
And I'm kind of like, dude, I'm working out.
I have the earbuds in.
What's he looking at you for?
What the hell?
I'm kind of giving him one of these.
And then I pop the earbud out.
I'm like, kind of give him a little head nod.
And he points at my leg and I'm a dude with some basic ass tattoos.
I got a moth on the thigh.

(14:36):
The classic, I got a moth on the thigh.
I got a knife on the rib cage, but the moth on the thigh, he's pointing at that.
Cause I'm in my short shorts, you know, five inch inseam and pointing at it.
And I'm like, kind of like giving him a face and I'm like, still hitting him with like
the head nod.
I haven't even said a word.
I just got the earbud in the hand, AirPods turned off.
And then he points at his own thigh and we have matching tattoos, matching tattoos to

(15:01):
like a T. It is the perfectly same moth, same placement, same size.
Dude, I don't think I've ever embarrassed myself harder.
Look at that tattoo and we're making eye contact.
I looked down, look at my tattoo, like his tattoo.
I go, Oh, matchy matchy.
And the dude's face, matchy matchy.

(15:24):
The dude's face was like, he's like, yeah, man.
And he just kind of like walks away.
Dude, that guy ain't ever talking to me.
He ain't ever talking to me again.
We started laser removal same day.
Okay.
I didn't know how to dial it up for that.

(15:45):
So that was actually a little bit of a genuine reaction of me not knowing how to dial it
up and knowing where I laughed previously and trying to laugh again.
And also want to call this out.
I made that same joke the last time.
But dude, I just going off script, I can't believe I said matchy matchy.

(16:05):
I guess I can believe it because I think it's just kind of like what came to mind.
And was I embarrassed at like that exact moment?
No, I just kind of put my headset back, put my earbud back and finished the set.
And then I'm sitting there for a minute.
I was like, what the hell did I just do?
This is why you don't talk to people at the gym.
It was mid set.
I think it's his fault actually.

(16:27):
It's a 50-50 because there's a type of guy that would hear you go matchy matchy and he
goes, oh yeah, brother.
And you do a nox and you move on.
But then there's a type of guy who goes, what?
It just kills the vibe.
He hit me with the, yeah, man.
Just kept walking.
He didn't go for it.
He didn't go for the nox.

(16:47):
He should have naturally.
We should have noxed it out.
And like, because everyone knows that's basic as tattoo.
I looked, I love a basic tattoo.
So let's go over my tattoos real quick.
I wanted, I wanted a eclectic mix.
So I started with roses on the shoulder, roses on the left shoulder.
Then I got a wanderlust on the collar.

(17:09):
I was like, dude, I gotta get a little harder than this.
I was kind of looking at my tattoos.
I'm like, I kind of, for lack of a better word, I look like a bitch.
I was like, what am I doing here?
So I was like, what do I get next?
I was like, knife.
Got a knife on the rib.
And then I was like, what else do I get that's hard?

(17:30):
I was like barbed wire, barbed wire other.
And then I was like, let's keep the hard going.
Get a nice like a moth on the thigh, all black and gray, by the way.
No other way.
Got moth on the thigh.
And then on my other leg, I got the words feel something, which is an album for my favorite
fan movements.

(17:50):
But I was like, I got those first two tattoos.
I was like, these things are so feminine.
I gotta get a little harder here.
I gotta go a little deeper in this.
And I did knife, barbed wire, moth.
I was like, you know, now we got that mixed.
It's like, he's got a little edge, but he's still, he can still get down.
Yeah.
Are you not going to say your other tattoo?

(18:11):
Your face?
Oh, no, I just wasn't sure if you were going to talk about the cat's butthole that's on
your stomach.
Imagine.
Those are my six tattoos.
I just went over my six tattoos.
I'll probably end up with more in the future, but you know, saving money for the weddings
are expensive.

(18:32):
So saving money for weddings.
So that's the tattoos have been put on hold.
Dude, I can tell you I'll do it for free.
Yeah.
Amazon tattoo machine.
And that's if this podcast it I ain't I ain't making a pitch.
I ain't making a pitch.
Make the pitch.
I, I, I don't have a tattoo that I would want from this podcast.

(18:55):
My face.
Absolutely not.
I don't mind the caricature.
The characters could be funny.
How many, how many subs would I need to get a stencil of the caricatures on like my leg?
I don't know.
It would depend.
Cause it would be really awkward when we get canceled.

(19:17):
Yeah, but I think I, yeah, but I think it would be awkward, you know, if I got canceled with
or without the tattoo.
You know what we should do?
We should start setting like little bait traps in the podcast that like anyone who actually
listens to the podcast is aware that like it's us doing a joke, but we should just try

(19:38):
to make one absurd clip every single podcast and that we can, we put out without context
that like could go viral.
Like I don't want it to go viral for the fully wrong reason, but like something of us giving
like the worst take in the world.

(20:00):
The problem is I work in all the jobs.
I don't want it tied to my face.
No, no, no.
Some of us, some of us are actually work from home.
Some of us are actually work from home where some of us just content creators.
I don't know.
I haven't, I haven't gotten to that.
I haven't elevated to that level of just being a content creator and freelancer Jamie.

(20:20):
It's tied to this beautiful face.
Okay.
I wasn't, I wasn't out here.
I wasn't going to say anything like politically.
I was going to say, what if there was like a bit of us being like cream cheese is disgusting.
Like something where it's like, it's fun is I don't know if that's much of a, where it's
going to really ups.
I'm like, you do cream cheese is gas.

(20:42):
Shut that up.
Uh, where it's going to really like piss off a large subset of people, but we act like
it's completely unfathomable to us.
We're going to do this.
This is probably not this episode because I don't think we're that, that clever on the
fly, but next episode, next episode, dude, we're going to be baiting.

(21:03):
I'll have to, uh, I'll have to sleep on that and think about it, but I'll be in the lab.
I'll be in the lab really cooking up something.
So is this kind of our rendition of pineapple on pizza?
Is that, is that what you mean?
That like even more general, like everybody likes this thing and we're like, it's terrible
or everyone hates this thing.
And we're like, you know, sardines out of a can are actually a delicious breakfast snack.

(21:28):
But we're, we're stuck really in the food niche right now.
You gotta think more broadly than that.
Like just generally, just, just you ever see those, you, you deleted Twitter, but, uh,
I know you've seen like those tweets that are clearly engagement bait.
Oh, of course.

(21:49):
Yeah.
We're doing engagement bait clips, but the goal is to just go, just get as much attention
and all of us, all of the interns, everyone at the office, we're all in on it.
We all get that.
It's a joke.
We know what we're doing, but everyone else, we're going to be like, Oh, you're like, dude,

(22:12):
Titanic, that movie was so bad.
Like I didn't even finish it.
I don't know what happens.
Something where people are going to be like, it's about like a real boat.
They're just going to be so pissed off.
And we're just like, nah, never give up the bit, never give up.
Because I got in a, I love getting a little bit of a scuff on the internet.

(22:35):
Sure.
I saw, I saw a creator post clearly in Japan.
Like she's in Japan.
It's got a hashtag Japan.
It's got, there's Japanese writing in the back and I, and she's from Texas.
I comment.
What part of Texas is this?
Great joke.
Yeah.
Very, very good.
That's just what it is.

(22:55):
And someone replies, it's not Texas.
Like it's a, like it's Japan.
And I go, Oh, is that near Austin?
Cause I wanted to let, I wanted to let them in on the fact I'm joking.
And they go, it's a different country.
So no.
And I'm like, okay.

(23:17):
So there's like, there's no, nothing to save them here, but I don't want to give up the
joke yet.
So I comment, Oh, my bad.
So like near Dallas or Houston.
And they respond, I hope this is satire.
And I thought for a minute, I'm like, I can give it up there and just be like, I can be

(23:39):
like, it's been satire the whole time.
But then it comes off as me bullying, like, and being just like way too aggressive.
Sure.
Sure.
Kills the joke.
But when eventually somebody else came in and was like, it is satire.
It always has been.
And that was very rewarding for me.
I had a similar, I had this last level at all.

(24:00):
I was posting and they were like, I'm on car Tik TOK.
So maybe people won't get the reference.
Somebody was like my Subaru's a lemon, like their Subaru was bad.
And like, I thought Subaru's supposed to last forever, blah, blah, blah.
And just so you know, uh, Subarus were just like voted, like the most reliable car brand
of any car brand.

(24:21):
Like it's number one.
And I kind of said that and tell me why somebody replies and goes, dude, a guy from my hometown
has a Subaru tattoo and tells nobody to buy Subarus.
It really makes you think.
I was like, it really makes you think I was in reply to me being, uh, literally given

(24:41):
the statistic that was voted like most reliable car brand.
He's like, dude, from my hometown has a Subaru tattoo tells nobody to buy a mix.
You think I'm like, what do you mean it makes you think dudes gatekeeping Subaru?
I'm like, dude, did some people, his hometown buddy said it, and you know, he was like my
hometown buddy with the Subaru tattoo said it.

(25:01):
So he must be right.
Why would he lie?
Why would he's got the tattoo on his neck?
Subaru.
The Subaru.
No, I think actually, I think the listeners of our podcast probably drive a lot of Super
is, oh yeah.
I made a joke in, in one of my older videos where I was like, oh, like my demographic

(25:27):
is like late twenties, lesbians or something.
And just out of the wood, I mean, like it's confirmation bias.
You wouldn't comment unless you fit that persona, but just out of the woodworks came the guilty
comments.
I was like, how you doing ladies?
Welcome.
It was so on the head and somebody heard that was like, damn, he's talking about me guilty.

(25:52):
They were watching on the TV.
They sat up there like, all righty.
All right.
Somebody get me, somebody get me the remote.
Oh man.
Well, about that time of the episode, I think we jumped into a little bit of questions here.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's jump to some questions.
And if you want to have your questions read and got get and get advice from us on this

(26:17):
podcast, please write into professionalinternspodcastatgmail.com.
We'd love to answer your questions.
You'll probably be top of the question section of the episode.
And we're actually starting this with a write in.
Yeah.
Again, that is professionalinternspodcastatgmail.com.
The US government has not tried to ban us.

(26:38):
So you can still write in there.
You can find our TikToks on every other platform except TikTok, you know, shorts.
It's really the Kleenex to the tissue here.
Let's jump in.
Sure.
Sure.
Yay.
I think the analogy made sense.
Hey interns, I'm a longtime listener and first time writer.

(27:01):
I think mustache is way funnier than redhead.
Longtime listener.
We're like three episodes in three episodes in, but you've missed out.
The mustache is funnier than redhead.
So yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Um, background.
I am a 24 year old male with a degree in accounting, but want to change into a new career into

(27:22):
something in business.
In May of 2024, I got a traumatic brain injury.
Oh, the guy with the traumatic brain injury thinks you're funnier, Noah.
You hear that?
I am going to be okay, but my recovery time is long and sometimes has no end in sight.

(27:45):
I have unlimited time, but I can't do more than moderate exercise or things that require
a lot of thinking.
What should I do with all my time and, or what would you do if you were in the same
boat?
So I think this is a two part question.
One he wants advice on changing careers and what he wants to do there.
And then he wants to know what we do with that time.

(28:05):
Jamie, you can take this one away.
Yeah.
I just want to start off by apologizing.
You know that I think that was, it was a little harsh, but I was hurt by your words.
And so I think moral of the story is that, you know, your words carry weight.
Yeah, I have feelings.
Sure.
Everything said, sorry that you had a traumatic brain injury.

(28:28):
Yeah.
Like you said, there's two things.
So let's address the career, the career thing first, because I think that's more serious.
Just do what you want.
That's such a stupid answer, but I think if you boil it down, it makes a lot of sense.
Like what do you want to do?
Like let's take, oh, I always say take money out of the equation.

(28:49):
What do you want to do?
So let's say like, I don't know, let's say I want to be a baseball player.
This is the example I'm going to get.
Let's say you want to be a baseball player.
It's like, all right, you kind of can't become a professional baseball player at how old
it 24.
A little late, but like now let's think like think parallel.

(29:10):
What could you do?
Like, oh, you could work in stats.
Do you like stats or an accountant?
Probably like numbers or what if you were an accountant for a baseball team?
Would that be like better for you?
And so kind of think parallel and think like, what do you want to do kind of with your interests
and like, how do you want this to go?

(29:30):
And then eventually I think you factor money back into the equation because it obviously
does matter a little bit, but exactly how much it matters varies by a lot of things.
But yeah, do what you want.
Yeah.
I think that's a great take.
I agree.
I think for me, I know like originally I wanted to be an elementary school math teacher.

(29:57):
I think I've told you that.
And I was going for L. Ed.
And I was like, I don't want to do that.
I didn't say that.
I said it's too much school.
It ended up being taken way longer to get that degree.
And I was like, well, let me backtrack.
If I want to do L. Ed.
I want to do math.
What's similar to like education and math and like numbers and that type of thing.
And I ended up in marketing.

(30:18):
You would be surprised the crossover there where it comes, especially to like the analytics
side and like the data side of marketing.
There's a lot of crossover with math.
So that ended up being how I chose my career.
But you know, I just think find what you're good at and find what you want to do.
And I think you could essentially put those skills in fine spots where they notch in real

(30:40):
well career wise.
As for your time off.
Well, I go, I want more thing to add.
Also to add to that, if you don't know what you want to do, like just try something.
Right.
I thought I wanted to be in marketing and then I worked in the marketing agency for
a year and I was like, oh, it's kind of isn't really what I wanted to do.

(31:03):
But I learned in that process what parts I like, what parts I dislike.
And now I'm still in marketing, but I enjoy a lot more of the broad sense of like that
creative side of it where there's a creative and there's an analytical side and there's
people who just make ads, there's people who run accounts.
Like everything's bigger than you think.

(31:25):
And so try something.
Yeah.
As for your time, one, sorry that you got a traumatic brain injury.
That's not good.
I imagine that's not fun, but having a lot of downtime.
With that, I would personally try and hone a skill or a hobby.
I think there's a lot of things you could play around with.

(31:47):
You could go with like the art route.
I think that's a fun one where it's something that most people enjoy art.
I started doodling a little bit myself.
And I think I would want to do something personally where you could see progression in that skill.
It could be art.
It could be a skill like chess.
If that's not too much thinking, you could do like woodworking or clay sculpture.

(32:12):
I don't know.
I'm mostly thinking the art realm because if I had all that time, that's probably what
I would do because I think those are really rewarding.
I think you'd see those steps in increasing that skill, but just find something you enjoy.
And I think doing something productive with that time, I don't think you would want to
look back at this downtime you have and be like, I spent all that time queuing for, queuing

(32:35):
for Valorant.
Maybe you would, and maybe you got really good at Valorant, but I just don't think you'd
look back at that as fondly as if you had a skill that you could show off in the future.
Yeah.
I said this the last time, but I think creating is a very rewarding thing, mainly because
if you say you're consuming, you watch a Netflix show and that's how you spend your time.

(33:00):
At the end of it, you're going to look back and you'll have a check on Netflix.
That'll be that.
But if you spent the same amount of time, I don't know, maybe it was writing poetry,
at the end of it, you'll have a bunch of poems that you can look back at and you have this
physical body of work.
It feels good.
You created something physical or digital or whatever.

(33:20):
You created something with your time.
And I think, yeah, you definitely should lean into the hobby or hone some sort of skill
during this because in 10 years, you're not going to think back, oh, I got really good
at League of Legends.
You're going to think back to, oh, I had all the time in the world and I did nothing with

(33:45):
it.
Yeah.
I agree.
So find a hobby, find a skill, find something that you enjoy doing and work on increasing
that skill or hobby.
I don't think you're going to want to look back at this time as time wasted.
I think you should look back as something that you grew, something you can enjoy and
maybe still do in the future.

(34:06):
Jamie, why don't you jump to that next question?
Let's do it.
Chicken burger was left out overnight.
Is it okay?
It was six to seven degrees Celsius, which is about 42 to 45 degrees Fahrenheit overnight.
And it was left out from 1 a.m. to 7 a.m. because I didn't know where my door dasher
put it.

(34:27):
I don't know.
It was left out overnight for one.
So the sun's down.
Things don't expire during the night.
This is proven.
If you look at the expiration date of let's say bread that expires on January 10th.

(34:50):
If it's January 11th at 4 a.m., that hasn't expired yet until the sun comes up.
I'm telling you, this is how it works.
Jamie just said legally it's how it works.
So I would say it's probably still good in 42 to 45 degrees.
It's a warm fridge.
It is a chicken burger, which maybe that was your first mistake.

(35:10):
But I personally would still eat it.
I don't even 42 to 45 degrees.
What temperature is a fridge normally?
I want to say like 38.
It's not that much colder because it doesn't freeze.
32 is freezing.
So that would be freezer.
So it has to be probably under 40 degrees.
So I'm like, it's not that far off that.

(35:33):
And it's just a it's a fast food chicken burger that probably has so much sodium and
salt in sodium and salt.
Those are the same thing, by the way, has so much salt in it.
That thing could probably be put out in the that they could probably be left out there
for another week and it would not change.
I think it depends a few things.
We're going to assume that the bag is an obviously tampered with by like an animal or something.

(35:57):
Anything like that.
Just throw it away.
Just throw it away.
Or, you know, like a neighbor.
You go to the sandwich and there's a bite out of it.
I probably would dodge that.
Your neighbors just come in.
Your neighbor sees door dash in the morning.
He's like, now that's it's got to be a chicken burger.
He's like, I was actually craving a breakfast chicken burger.
That's what I was craving today.

(36:19):
Look, I'd say depending on how much the chicken burger costs, because you're taking a little
bit of a gamble here.
We can all admit that.
Sure.
If this was a four dollar chicken burger, just buy a new one.
Why take the red door?
So you got to add fifteen dollars to whatever you spend.
Yeah, but that's a lot of you.

(36:41):
That's already.
No, no, that's not cost.
But is this from like a local restaurant or like.
Also is it just chicken?
If there's cheese on that burger or no, that does start getting a little sketchy with the
cheese.
It's probably still good, but it gets starts getting a little sketchier.
Any dairy on that?

(37:01):
No.
Yeah, you I would give it a quick one over.
I'd give it a quick one over and I would do a tiny bite first.
Just a little nibble.
See how that feels.
Yeah, maybe.
You know what?
That's my recommendation.
I would take a small bite, leave it out for another 30.
Give it 30, leave it out.
And then, you know, if it's still if the tummy still feels good, I think at that point, go

(37:26):
for it.
If your afternoon is wide open, like you're cool, spending it on the can, you can have
that burger, but that's the risk you run in here.
That that's always that's a risk with any meal.
That would have been a risk with a chicken burger brand new.
Yeah, but it's a little less.
You're heightening the risk a little bit.
You're hiding the risk, but.
OK, OK.

(37:47):
I say we do the next question.
I say we do the next question.
I found out my ex is marrying my sister and no one told me.
Oh, my God.
Hi, y'all.
I'm completely shattered and don't know what to do.
My ex, a 23 year old male and I, a 19 year old female, dated for two years.
He was my first love.
And when we broke up, he was my first love.
And I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.

(38:08):
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
He was my first love.
And when we broke up six months ago, he said he wasn't ready for anything serious.
I was devastated.
But I let him go thinking he needed to grow.
Yesterday, I found out he's marrying my 22 year old sister.
No one in my family told me not a single word.

(38:31):
I only found out because I saw her Instagram story of them at a wedding boutique with the
caption Can't believe I'm marrying my best friend.
My hands were shaking as I called her.
She didn't even apologize.
She just said, we didn't tell you because we didn't want to hurt you.
Now my parents are begging me not to make a big deal out of it and saying I need to

(38:55):
be happy for them.
I feel like I've been betrayed by everyone I love and I can't even begin to process
how to act around them.
How am I supposed to move on when this feeling when this feels like the ultimate betrayal?
Dude, what the hell?
Look, you're feeling like you've been betrayed by everyone around you.

(39:15):
And I just want you to know that's because you have been betrayed by literally everyone
around you.
100%.
You're saying six months?
Yeah.
What the hell is happening in your life?
Are you kidding me?
What is this?
Dude, six months that they broke up, he moved on and got engaged and then they were so comfortable

(39:36):
with the engagement without telling her his ex that they're posting it on their story
about at a wedding boutique.
What the hell is going on?
Dude, this feels like this maybe it's a religious thing.
That's the only thing I could think of.
I don't even know.
But even so, that's okay.
Even if it was a religious thing, let's say they're Mormons and they're soaking and having

(39:59):
a great time.
What?
Like, like, like that you don't move on to a sister.
It's kind of off limits.
At least for a few years.
You've got to give it a few years.
I don't think they're minimum if you ever get back in the life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you have to hide it.
Yeah, you can't do that.

(40:19):
It has to have like if look in this backwards world where you get with someone's sister,
it's got to be a very amicable breakup.
And I don't know, three years minimum, like enough time, like given this age, enough time
has to go by that like you kind of have all moved on.

(40:41):
You're kind of new people a bit.
Grown.
This is insane, though.
This is insane.
You have to get in therapy pronto.
Look, there's a few different things you can do.
I think at the gates, you're completely in the right if you just cut out your entire

(41:01):
family.
Like 100%.
You don't have to cut them out forever.
Everything has to be permanent.
But if I was in your shoes, I'd have a really hard time interacting with any of them, especially
my sister and my scumbag ex there.
I wouldn't acknowledge their existence.
You said ex.
You meant brother-in-law.
Fuck.

(41:22):
Dude, this person's down in their luck.
You're punching down.
I would have such a hard time even interacting with them.
I just wouldn't.
At 19, they probably still live at home or at least partially live at home.

(41:43):
It's probably a lot harder to cut out your parents.
I would just kind of...
I don't want to say I'd cut them out, but I'd go real cold on them.
I'd spend a lot of time solo out of the house.
I don't know your life.
If you're at college, I wouldn't call home.
I think we got to give them the intern advice.
I think we got to go for the intern advice.

(42:05):
Dude, you have the opportunity to mess up his life so bad.
I'd go find his dad.
I'd go find his dad.
I'd go find his grandfather.
I'd go find his grandfather's grandfather, and I would sleep with all of them and make
sure he knows that everyone is...
That you're getting with everyone because what the hell?

(42:26):
What the hell?
You can devastate the regeneration of this family.
Family tree gone.
Mess with his parents, all right, try to sleep with his dad, even if you're not successful,
right?
Hilarious, too.
You can break up that marriage.
Come on.
You're 19.
You're probably attractive.
Dad's not going to say no as quick as he should.

(42:48):
You know, I'm thinking about this.
If the son is so willing to, within six months, get with the sister after a two-year relationship,
why do you think he's learning that behavior?
Oh, that's from dad, all right?
You split up his parents.
That's not going to just...
I don't think your sister and him work out.

(43:10):
I think that is going to go off the rails, but even once they're gone, even once he's
well out of your life, his parents are still going to be divorced, all right?
Thank you.
This is your opportunity, actually.
You know what?
This isn't...
You know, you were looking at this as a curse.
I was looking at this as a blessing.

(43:30):
You got the opportunity to do some real funny stuff.
You got the opportunity to do the funniest thing.
Ruin his parents' marriage, ruin his grandparents' marriage.
Oh, yeah.
Honestly, actually, you can do it on both sides.
So that's three marriages you can meddle with.
And then...
Does he have a sibling?

(43:51):
Does he have a brother?
Does he have a sibling?
Let's eye for eye.
Let's get even here.
Sleep with any and all of his siblings.
Marry the brother.
Oh, yeah.
That's a good one.
That could rotate the whole thing.
You don't even have to sleep with the dad if you marry the brother.
And now you're all kind of in this weird thing.
It's a little awkward at all the family gatherings because it's almost like the Spider-Man meme

(44:14):
where everyone pointing at each other because they're like, who...
You slept with you and it just makes it a little odd.
But you know what?
I think you might feel better for it.
Even better?
Get engaged to his brother.
Leave him on the altar.
Then you're messing up the brother.

(44:35):
Sorry.
Hey, revenge.
It's a...
Revenge is a cold, dirty world.
It's a sour meal.
Is that a saying?
I don't know.
I've never heard that.
I might have made that up.
Might have made that up.
He knew what he was getting into.
Audio listeners, I'm smoking a cigarette, figuratively.
Oh.

(44:57):
Audio listeners, he's actually smoking a cigarette.
He's a degenerate and he chain smokes every one of these podcasts.
Audio listeners, Noah's taking his clothes off.
Oh my God.
All right, let's jump into the next one.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Every girl wants to date me.
Is it my fault?

(45:17):
So this has been my life for as long as I can remember.
Every girl I've ever tried to be friends with eventually wants to date me.
I'm not exaggerating.
Yeah, sure you're not.
Every single time.
I've never had a proper female friend and at this point, I'm starting to think it might
be my fault.

(45:38):
You think?
Dude, I love this guy.
For context, I know I'm not bad looking.
I'd say I'm above average in the looks department.
Tall, decent build.
I take care of myself.
I'm not a supermodel or anything, but I've been told I'm attractive enough to turn heads.
Maybe that plays a role in all this.

(45:59):
I don't know.
Dude, you know, before you even finish this, dude, people like this is why AI can't replace
us.
Yeah.
Dude, AI could not replace this.
AI can't write this.
It's impossible.
And you know, this is the most like mediocre looking finance dude from Boston.

(46:24):
Hundred percent.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Keep going.
Sorry, dude.
You're five eleven and you have a nice haircut.
Whoa.
But here's the thing.
I'm not trying to come off as cocky or vain.
Well, you're doing a fantastic job.
I just want to connect with people.

(46:45):
Yet every single time I try to build a friendship with a girl, it always takes the same turn.
At first, I thought it was just bad luck, but this has happened every single time.
I started asking myself, is my appearance working against me here?
Am I giving off the wrong vibes?
Am I unintentionally flirty without realizing it?

(47:06):
Or is it just the assumption that guys and girls can't be friends?
Dude.
Dude.
Shut up.
I want to meet this guy.
I want to know who writes this.
This is like American Psycho Bateman.
What's his name?

(47:29):
Charles Bateman.
No, no, no, no.
Patrick Bateman.
It's literally Patrick Bateman's like inner monologue from American Psycho when he's doing
like his face mask and his whole morning routine.
Tell me you know what I'm talking about.
If you don't, I'm giving you homework.
I don't know.
Some of these viewers know what I'm talking about.

(47:51):
His whole thing is like he's a psycho and he is like a serial killer.
And he's a serial killer, but he like is obsessed with himself and he talks about how perfect
his skin is and how he has to do this morning routine.
And it's just, it's great.
And this guy is giving that exact vibe.

(48:13):
He sucks.
And yeah, I, I'm sorry.
I don't know if you finished.
I know I didn't.
I finished the question.
Yeah, this guy sucks.
Oh yeah.
Let's give him some genuine advice before we make sure because we're going to make fun
of you because you suck.

(48:33):
You know, maybe, maybe all these girls aren't actually looking for a relationship with you.
Let's assume you're being like completely honest and accurate with this, this assessment
that you're head turningly attractive.
Maybe they're just trying to sleep with you.
You ever think that?

(48:54):
I mean like, you know, some people probably don't want a relationship with you.
I bet he's hyping himself up, hyping himself up in his head.
Oh, I know he is.
He's like, Oh, Oh, she bumped me.
Oh, did she touch my arm when we were walking around?

(49:14):
She must want to date me.
Oh, she handed me my drink at the bar.
She must, this waitress was nice to me.
Yeah.
The stripper was nice to me.
He's like, Oh, she was nice to me.
I must be, it must be a me thing.
Look, I think out the gates, like you have to, are you putting yourself in an environment

(49:36):
that seems like a date?
Like if you're meeting girls on like Tinder or Hinge and you're like, Hey, you want to
go get drinks?
Uh, well yeah, you, you're kind of leading them on to think that this is more than a
friendship thing.
Oh, but I, but I said, I was just looking for friends.
Yeah.
That's why everyone's on Tinder.
They're looking for friends.
Of course you're not looking friend.

(49:58):
He only talks to these people on Snapchat, nowhere else.
He's like, I don't know why all these girls I nicely talked to on Snapchat don't just
want to be friends.
I don't get it.
Oh, you want, you want what?
He also writes this in a way as if it's a surprise to him, like midway through hanging

(50:18):
out with these women, he finds out their true intentions.
So it's like they're one on one at a restaurant and they're like, so what do you want in a
relationship?
You're trying to date me?
Why are you all women the same?
I guess guys and girls can't be friends.
Dude, one, I kind of love him because like, just to think that writing this and actually

(50:44):
asking for this advice, I, you have to have such a crazy like mindset about yourself,
right?
Like you've got to be like, you got to be kind of cracked.
I don't know, man.
I think you got to look at yourself in the mirror and figure out, I'm going to give you
some actual advice.

(51:05):
Okay.
Let's say you're actually listening.
You're not, but you're not, you're busy looking at yourself in the mirror.
I think you got to talk to maybe some of your friends that aren't trying to sleep with you,
like the dudes that you might hang around with and ask them what you are doing and ask
for like their honest opinion because I think you would find that maybe these girls don't

(51:28):
all want to sleep with you.
Maybe it's in your head a little bit, or maybe you're like really leading these girls on
or really talking to them and flirting with them.
It just feels like you might be almost overthinking it in your own head.
And I think you might need somebody else's opinion to reassess how you're acting around
these people.
I think you might find out real quick, it's a you thing than anyone else, whether it's

(51:52):
you overthinking it or you acting in a way that would make these girls think, I want
to date him.
Yeah.
I think there's two things you can do here.
One, it seems like a little bit of a self-report that this isn't something you tried sooner,
but I would talk to some friends that maybe aren't interested in men.

(52:14):
If you somehow don't have a female gay friend, find one.
I feel like quite a few and it just so happens, even if they're not even that close, just
find someone who's not attracted to men and ask for their opinion.
Ask Jamie's commenters.
Yeah.

(52:36):
Find your closest Subaru dealership and start asking around.
Yeah.
And number two, if you've got a buddy and his girlfriend who they're in a good relationship,
you're good friends with them, ask her for her opinion because she will not hold back
on you and you're going to get humbled real quick and you're going to be like, oh, I'm
not that attractive or at least not as attractive as you think you are.

(53:01):
I'm not as attractive as I think I am.
And all these women don't want to sleep with me or they don't want to be dating me.
They just wanted a free meal.
Good luck out there, buddy.
Good luck.
Next question.
Trying to put an end to my loneliness.
I'm super antisocial and shy and I'm tired of being lonely and depressed.

(53:25):
I'm just looking for someone who can relate and to build a connection with.
It's always been a challenge for me to connect with others and I've always felt like an outcast
in this world.
I enjoy watching horror movies, playing video games and listening to music and playing sports.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Jamie, you've come to the right place.

(53:46):
The comedy advice podcast really leaning on the advice portion here.
I think there's a few things.
Like a lot of people are in the same boat as you.
So it feels very alone and like shy and antisocial and whatnot.
You feel very alone, but like there are tons of people out there who would like another

(54:09):
friend or a friend if it's like their only friend and like to build a genuine connection.
What's weird is trying to make that connection.
Like if you approach it with that intent, it's almost kind of like love bombing somebody.
It's like it's a lot for a friendship and it's almost scary and like off putting.

(54:31):
My advice to you would be just show up somewhere consistently and it will happen.
Like you don't go from not friends to friends just by saying, hey, do you want to be friends
with me?
Like this isn't really kindergarten anymore.
The way it happens and if you think about this, because you've probably had friends
in your life, the way you've made any of your friends is probably at like school because

(54:54):
you saw them in class every day.
Whenever you see somebody often, you just naturally become friends.
That's why people become friends with their coworkers.
That's why people become friends with people like sports teams.
When you see somebody often, you become friends because you become more familiar and then
eventually you kind of figure out all these people I'm seeing often who has the same interests

(55:16):
and then you gravitate towards doing stuff like that.
Where can you show up?
Kind of various.
No, you got any ideas?
So you said you're interested in video games, horror movies, listening to music and sports.
I feel like I would look for, I think the video games one's interesting.

(55:37):
There's definitely opportunities online to show up and I personally don't really join
random discord channels, but if you're interested in let's say a certain streamer, they might
have a discord where you could meet people that's related to that streamer or a video
might have one for that content.
Maybe reddit.

(55:58):
Yeah, at least it could help you get your foot in the door.
Right?
Yeah.
It's not going to fully cure that kind of loneliness because I do think in person, like
social connection is very important, but it's better than nothing.
It is a step, but continue with what you're doing.
Yeah.
Or how I ended up meeting a lot of my friends was I'm in, I guess I have a lot of my friends

(56:20):
from high school still.
I never ended up really making any close friends for college.
I don't know why that just never happened, but I have a lot of my friends still from
high school and I still meet people now that I would call friends that I met during intramural
like adult volleyball and we play on like a little beach league, a sand, it's a sand

(56:42):
league, but we play in a sand league a few nights a week during the summer and you just
end up just playing with people and there's, you can always sign up as a single.
I've also played like adult soccer and I'll tell you right now, some of those people,
they're not good.
So it's like a pretty low barrier to entry.
Sign up for the lowest league.
Even if you're good, sign up for the lowest league and just have fun with it and really

(57:05):
make it as more of like a social thing than it is like, I'm trying to cook these kids.
Like some people take it way too serious.
It's an adult intramural league.
Just have fun with it.
Try and talk to people.
I think you will find yourself making friends pretty easily that way and they go out after.
Maybe you'll be invited to go out.

(57:25):
Maybe there's a bar at the place.
Hang out and just like make friends and be just friend, just be friendly.
My one big piece of advice is look approachable.
I think especially if you're anti-social and shy, it might be easy for you to put your
head down when you're walking around or like looking, you know, not like excited and looking

(57:48):
excited for people to see you, but keep your head up, keep a smile on and just make eye
contact and make sure like people see who you are.
And I think people will be more likely to walk up to you and talk to you.
And I think that's a, that'll really help with that first step in making, making more
friends.
Yeah.
I was a bit like this in college where, uh, like I, my kind of like hometown, like friend

(58:10):
group, my like high school friends, I like that.
Uh, we had kind of grown apart at that point, but I was still kind of between friend groups.
I hadn't really made a deep connection with people at school yet.
So it was in this kind of like weird limbo state.
And what worked for me was I joined a club.
I started playing ultimate Frisbee in college.

(58:31):
Um, I played baseball my whole life growing up and I didn't want to play baseball.
Like kind of wasn't really into it.
And I was like, what else wouldn't I mind?
Like I'm an athletic person.
What kind of options are there for me?
And I saw ultimate Frisbee and I thought it would be cool.
So I started playing that.
Um, and then I just showed up and it was, my timeline's a little bit weird cause I joined

(58:52):
and then two months later, the world shut down, uh, for COVID.
So it was a little, little messed up, but I just showed up and I just talked to people.
Uh, and I think with that, if you just show up, uh, you talk to people a little bit, find
any way to talk to them, like be the guy who initiates it.

(59:12):
Um, like I laugh about it now with some of my friends, the conversations I would have
with them.
Um, like, like one of my friends, uh, like they jokingly would call him Patty Rick.
And one of the first conversations I said to him, I was like, so why do they call you
Patty Rick?
And he goes, cause my name's Patrick.

(59:34):
And I was just like, and like in that moment, it would be so easy to sink into your chair
or we were standing, but just like sink in and be so awkward.
But I just kind of laughed at it.
I was like, of course.
And like it became a funny thing and now it's something we can laugh back on.
Um, but I think just, yeah, just, just go with people talk about really whatever you

(59:56):
can, um, and say yes.
Whenever you get invited to something, say yes.
Cause a lot of times people extending an invite, especially the first invite, uh, people are
like a little hesitant to do it and if you say no, they're not going to do it again.
So just say yes, show up.
Even if it's something you don't really want to do, even if they're like, go to the bar,
uh, just go, you don't have to drink.

(01:00:19):
Um, you know, what do you have to lose a nightier night of your life?
Just go hang out with people.
I think it'll get better though.
It'll get better.
Show up, do stuff and the friendship will just happen.
All right.
Our last question of the episode, how do I deal with being hypersexual as an old virgin?
I'm a 30 year old guy, still a kiss this virgin and feeling incredibly irritated and frustrated.

(01:00:45):
Dating apps just don't work and I find the whole experience depressing.
My mind is basically always preoccupied with sexual thoughts, intensely high libido and
very physically fit.
I'm basically bouncing off the walls all the time.
If I take care of it, I'm basically ready to go within the hour and it just doesn't
stop there.

(01:01:06):
It feels like mental torture and I just have to suppress myself all the time.
I'm running out of ideas.
Well, first off, Noah, I want to thank you for writing into the podcast.
Dude, that is an insane, uh, insane.
I'm basically bouncing off the walls because yeah, cause you're horny.

(01:01:29):
Like what are we doing here?
Like is this, is this, is this what we are?
Is this, is this what we're talking about?
Uh, dude, uh, I feel like, uh, you're not making it very easy for me to feel sympathy
for you being a kissless virgin when you're talking like this.
Like I just, I think you're really, I have a feeling the way that this is written makes

(01:01:51):
me think every single person in your life, everyone I'm talking teachers, friends, family,
everybody knows you're a kissless virgin.
You probably lead with that.
You're like, hi, I'm a, hi, I'm Jake.
I'm a 30 year old kissless virgin.
Dude, just, just forget that's a thing for a minute.
I think you're probably talking about way too much.

(01:02:14):
Uh, forget it's a thing.
It just, you know, just be normal.
And I think the fact that you're kissless is probably more of a you thing that doesn't,
I don't want to say Jamie and I are, you know, to, uh, let's see, let's pop.
Let's pop back to an early one.
We're not the most above average looking tall, decent build, attractive people in the world.

(01:02:36):
We're not turning a lot of heads.
We're not turning a lot of heads, but dude, the fact you're kissless probably a you thing.
Uh, you could probably go out and get a kiss tonight if you actually tried, but I have
a feeling you're probably leading with the kissless virgin thing.
And I don't know if that's a very big gimmick to be leading with at the age of 30.
Yeah.
I mean, no one would probably kiss you for like two or maybe three Michelob ultras.

(01:03:00):
So dude hit me with a little butt heavy.
It's over.
I do think it's a little important that we take this question more serious than we want
to because I think this is written from a genuine place.
Like when this person posted it online, they like, this is a genuine emotion and genuine
problem for them.

(01:03:20):
And they were really looking for advice there.
Uh, I think they're disconnected with like how crazy and insane this sounds.
Uh, and that kind of us dunking on it and laughing can only push someone in this situation
into a deeper and darker space.
Uh, like I think it goes from that, like, I think if we laugh at someone like this too

(01:03:42):
much, then they go from this to being like, I deserve women, you know, like that's how
we become an incel.
You think we're going to make, we're going to turn this guy into an incel dude.
I, I think he's probably fine.
I just think he's probably thinking about it too much.
If we're being honest, I think if you just toned it down, didn't lead with the fact you're

(01:04:04):
a kissless version, I have a feeling you could get a kiss.
No problem.
If you were just like, just be cool, just be easy going.
Yeah.
Do what we get.
We gave very similar advice to last person about making friends.
Yeah.
Happy head up.
Be cool.
Be nice.
Also, so I'm going to run through some of the things like there's a checklist cause

(01:04:28):
there's something more that you're leaving out.
Obviously like you don't get to this situation, right?
Like without, without something being wrong.
I said this last time.
I think, uh, let's go to where the Fisher Biden, right?
Like if, if the goal, like let's, let's start with just getting you a kiss buddy.

(01:04:50):
If we're going to get you a kiss, let's go to like a, go to like a club or like a bar
somewhere where people are kissing, smooching where it's not a big deal.
Don't try to set up this whole date, like on like a dating app and be like, well, I'm
going to get the kiss that way.
Like if we're really just trying to check the box here, let's just do that.
Let's just be easy about it.
But also like, is your hygiene good?

(01:05:13):
Like does your breath stink?
Uh, you said you're very physically fit.
So I'll take your word on that.
That you're like decently attractive.
Is your haircut nice?
Whatever it is.
Do you look like this?
Do you look like this?
I figure it out.
Are you wearing, are you wearing a stupid shirt?
Get your fashion, whatever it is, you know, kind of go through that and be like, am I
presenting myself?

(01:05:34):
Well, if that's a yes, then we have to look at it.
Like, it seems like kiss this virgin's a pretty strong part of your identity.
Are you like that guy from the TLC show who's like, has his mom as the wingman?
Yeah.
Skippy.
Are you Skippy?
Wait, is, is, is this Skippy right now?
Skippy is the one posting this.
Yeah.

(01:05:54):
It's like, like what do you include a picture of Skippy?
Oh, I will.
It's like, what do we, what are we exactly doing here?
So just kind of take a very honest assessment of yourself.
Also if you have any friends that can give you a pretty honest assessment, um, be like,
like what's, what's my problem?
Cause they might be like, I don't know.
He kind of talked about being a kiss this virgin a lot.

(01:06:18):
Um, and then from there, like, we also should address the whole like libido thing.
Um, the, you said it feels like mental torture.
Yeah.
You've got to talk to probably a therapist or a doctor or someone about that.
Cause that's not normal.
Even of people who have high libido, that's not normal.

(01:06:39):
Like that it feels like mental self.
It's not normal for me.
Noah is bouncing off the walls all the time.
I know I would probably, I'd probably go talk to the doctor if you feel like you're bouncing
off the walls all the time.
And I think you just need to maybe just, just relax a little bit.

(01:06:59):
It feels like, uh, yeah, I would imagine you're leading with the kiss this virgin thing.
And I think that's probably a big turn off.
But if you do get the opportunity to maybe go to second, third base with someone, don't
mention the virgin thing.
I think, I think other people, if you say you're a virgin, I think other people will
put ideas of what that means to them on you.

(01:07:21):
I think it will like reflect what they believe on you.
And I don't think you want that.
I don't think you need that.
I think that will be a overall negative on, uh, this opportunity to lose your virginity.
And it's not, it's not like it's like an STD or something.
You don't need to tell people about it.
It doesn't matter.
It, even if you're going to, if you can feel, are we going to sleep with someone?

(01:07:42):
I wouldn't, I wouldn't mention it.
I don't think it's important.
I don't think it's who you are.
And I don't think it needs to be part of who you are.
It's just a fact.
Yeah.
It's just a thing, honestly.
So yeah, don't make it a big part of your identity.
Um, whether it, even if it's somebody like, uh, who's listening to this and like, they're
like, I don't know, like 24 and, and they're like 23 or like that kind of where you feel

(01:08:08):
like, Oh, it should have happened by now.
It hasn't.
It's like, this isn't like something you're sentenced to, but you should also be like,
what am I, what am I doing wrong?
Um, also like, you know, it's so tough with not knowing the full story of this guy.
Like what game are we playing here?

(01:08:28):
Like we are we playing?
Are you?
Are you a minor leaguer who's trying to play with the pros?
Like if you're only approaching these, like a 10 out of 10 model women at the club and
you're like, but I'm physically fit.
It's like, all right, but like you have no Riz and charisma.
Like you're like, if that's your situation, like just be honest with yourself.

(01:08:51):
And yeah, I don't know.
I feel like, I feel like there's something more happening to this guy.
I feel like we just don't know.
Yeah.
There's definitely something more there.
I feel like it boils a lot down to that whole mental torture.
That's the crazy statement.
Wild way to put it.
Um, yeah.
So maybe look at yourself first.

(01:09:12):
I think that's probably advice we're going to be given a lot on this show.
It's always, uh, it's usually true in most situations.
It's usually a you thing more than everyone else, but, um, cool.
Uh, want to hit the, uh, want to hit the outro.
Dude, what would the world do without us?

(01:09:32):
Answering the hard hitting questions, talking about, you know, the kissless virgin, the
ending the loneliness epidemic.
We ended it here today.
Yeah.
Every girl wants to date that poor guy.
What's going on there?
We just, we're really, we're really answering the hard hitting questions.
And if you have hard hitting questions, please write them in to our podcast email at professionalinternspodcast.com.

(01:09:58):
We would love to answer your questions and give you advice on our next episode of the
professional interns podcast.
And if you haven't already, make sure you subscribe, follow, like the video, rate the
video.
I don't know what platform you're on.
I don't know all the options to interact.
All of them everywhere.

(01:10:18):
Thank you to our platform uploader.
We are on everywhere and, uh, yeah, go check out our personal check out, check out on my
channel is at Jamie Regan on YouTube, probably not tick tock anymore, but, uh, you know,
I'm, I, you can find me if you see the cop that blue bloods cop you've gone too far.
The wrong guy.
It's me.

(01:10:39):
Uh, and yeah, I should have some stuff coming out when this video comes out.
Let's go.
And if you want some, uh, mediocre gaming content, I'll let a few let's play series.
Go check out my channel, uh, at big blue bug gaming over on YouTube.
Uh, you can also check out my Instagram, which I'll be in the description, which is just
my name with some underscores.

(01:11:00):
Uh, thank you guys for watching and, uh, we hope to see you all in that next episode.
Bye.
Bye.

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Ep.4 - Jamie Messed Up

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