Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey guys, welcome back to the Professional Interns Podcast.
(00:15):
It's a comedy advice podcast where Noah and I answer your questions, save the world, at
the expense of our ever deteriorating friendship.
Noah?
Yep, that's the podcast, ever deteriorating friendship.
How are you doing, Jamie?
I am doing all right.
Even though our relationship is a little bit on the rocks, you know, it's a decent time.
(00:38):
It's February, which you know, I hate February to just to give the most mild take in the
world.
I don't like the winter.
Wow, that was riveting.
People are going to be up in arms in the comments about you saying, you know, you don't like
the winter.
Let me guess you don't like the slush.
You don't like the snow.
(00:59):
No, no, the real answer is much lamer than that.
I just get seasonal depression.
Oh, when the sky is gray for four and a half months straight.
I feel a little sad, you know, I get a little down sometimes.
But also, I got to plug this at the top of the hour.
(01:19):
Okay.
Okay.
So on the podcast, we I guess we supposed to have been plugging that for a while.
Plugged it last episode, plugging it this episode.
You're listening on Spotify, Apple Music, the other platforms.
Leave a review.
It helps us out a bunch.
And please lie and say it's five stars.
Don't leave a review, say three stars.
(01:41):
These guys are all right, but maybe they should have reconsidered starting a podcast.
Okay, nobody needs your honesty.
You think there's people listening to us on some of those other platforms?
What are the even other platforms?
What people are over here listening to us on SoundCloud?
We're in between that and some SoundCloud rap.
Listen to XXXTentacion and then you come on this and you're like, wait a second.
(02:04):
Wait a minute, these guys, they don't like the winter either.
I don't know exactly where like I think we have a handful of listeners on these just
obscure platforms.
The distribution tool we use, it just gets them all.
I'm like, sure.
I made so many accounts on these websites I've never heard of.
(02:28):
I don't know what Deezer is, but I think one person uses Deezer.
Okay, okay, now we're talking.
Just for you.
Just for you, you Deezer listener.
So you're welcome.
Yeah.
And if you have any questions, you can write them into professionalinternspodcast.gmail.com.
(02:49):
You know, ask us a bunch of things, whatever you want.
We've got a few, but they're coming later on, end of the episode per usual.
So today I got my hair cut.
Okay.
And I was talking-
Can you describe it?
Describe it for the audio listeners.
Yeah.
It's a little tight on the sides, a little bit longer on top.
I'm trying to go for almost like a professional mullet.
(03:12):
That was kind of the, that was the, that was how I described it to my hairdresser.
He was talking to me and you know who's buying a house in Rhode Island.
So we're from, we're from Rhode Island.
Dude, tell me why he goes, dude, you hear Matt Reif is moving to North Smithfield?
See, I knew this.
I knew this.
Did you know this?
Okay.
(03:33):
So Rhode Island's starting to get a little, starting to get a little dicey here with who's
living, we're getting Matt Reif.
Taylor Swift said she is living in, living here full time now.
She really?
She just, she just, I don't, I don't know where it came from, but she's now moving here
full time.
Huge dub.
Huge dub for Rhode Island and Judge Judy has a beach house here.
(03:57):
Yeah.
I know, I know a lot, like a lot of celebrities that live in Rhode Island.
I've interacted, actually at my high school job, I sold a TV to Judge Judy.
To Judge, but was it actually Judge Judy?
It wasn't Judge Judy.
It was, it was Judge Judy's house, but it was to her assistant.
I was a little TV salesman.
(04:17):
They're like, we need a little tiny TV and it's going to this address.
And I guess it was just a known address.
Cause I told my boss, I was like, we got to deliver a TV here.
And he's like, oh, that's Judge Judy's house.
That's Judge Judith Scheinman.
That is her house.
I'm a big Judge Judy fan back in, back in high school, I guess not in high school, college.
(04:38):
I lived at home, you know, commuter school and every day during lunch, because you know,
commuter school means I take a class really early in the morning and I'm done at like
noon and maybe I go back at five.
I'd be home and I'd be laying on the couch watching Judge Judy.
And my mom was so sick of me just soaking on the couch, drinking a coffee at like 1130,
(05:02):
watching Judge Judy for two hours.
But man, I could not get enough of Judge Judy.
Dude, we all have our vices.
It's not the worst in the world.
What's your advice?
You got any like, I'm a big fan of bad TV.
My fiance hates bad TV, but I love like Married at First Sight, all those crappy dating shows
right up my alley.
(05:22):
Although I've never gotten to The Bachelor, which maybe I should.
I've watched a handful of those.
I watched a handful of those.
During COVID, I got into them a little bit because it was just like, what the hell are
we doing?
But I'm not a huge TV person.
This is kind of ironic because like the big thing for my channel right now is watching
and making fun of bad movies.
(05:44):
But like that was just something that happened.
That's not like I wasn't just out here ripping bad movies on the reg.
How do you find a bad movie?
What's your, okay, let's say, okay, you're spit balling.
You opened a can of worms.
I did open a can of worms.
Let's say you're spit balling.
You're looking for a bad movie that's almost so bad, it's good.
(06:05):
That's kind of your genre.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How do you find one of those?
What platforms you go into, how you look in, how you search in, what's the routine here?
This is, I think, something nobody appreciates.
So I want a little credit here.
It is so hard to find a good bad movie because you need like, you need a little bit of both.
(06:26):
It needs to have a high enough budget that it's like, it looks right.
It's like professional.
It's enjoyable.
The storyline needs to be mildly followable, but it needs to have big problems in it and
like things that you can point at.
Whereas like a lot of movies are bad and boring.
You need a movie that's bad and entertaining.
(06:47):
I think the best example of this is the video on my channel reviewing the movie Camp Cool
Kids.
That movie is hilarious and it's propped up just purely by some like church investment.
So they're like shoehorning in all these Jesus references.
Like it's not written very well and there's a lot of absurd, outrageous moments.
(07:11):
So I think it's perfect.
Now how you find it is it's a numbers game.
Love Tooby, those like free streaming services.
That's gold because you know, they put a lot on there.
They also put a lot of bad ones on there.
So it's
What about a, how do you feel about movies that are made to be that intentionally good
(07:34):
bad movie?
I'm trying to think of like Cocaine Bear or Sharknado.
How do you feel about those?
Scary movies, stuff like that.
They're like, they're intentionally the whole premise around the movie, you know, Sharknado,
a tornado with sharks.
Like they're intentionally made to be bad, but like that's kind of the genre they're
feeding.
Do you think though, how do you feel like those?
(07:56):
If they're doing it intentionally, like at least for me, like those movies are a different
thing.
Like they're enjoyable on their own.
But I think it's one of those things where it's like when somebody makes a bad movie,
that's so bad, it's good.
The thing that makes it so bad, it's good is the fact that it's not like intentional.
Like have you seen The Room?
(08:16):
The Room's a real good example of this.
The wait, you're talking The Room.
Wasn't that one like won an Emmy, won a Grammy?
So there's two-
Something?
Am I thinking of the wrong one?
No, you're thinking of the right thing.
So there's two versions of it.
I think it's this one called The Room, which is the original movie.
It's this guy who for some reason made a movie, like nobody knows how old he is, like where
(08:43):
he got any of the money from.
There's so many mysteries around it.
And it's just a really bad movie.
He got rejected from all these acting places, couldn't book a role, and he was like, screw
it, I'm making my own movie.
Is this guy a dude with the funny voice?
He's been-
It's been a while since I watched it, so I don't know.
But they made a movie about it, like a movie about the production and then the movie itself
(09:07):
called The Disaster Artist.
Yup, yup, yup.
This is Tom Wiseau.
Tommy Wiseau.
Yup, yup.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the main guy where the remake had-
Franco?
Franco, yup, the Franco.
I forget which one it was.
James?
It was James.
(09:28):
The other, what's the other one?
It was Dave.
Yeah, sure.
Yup, yup.
This is a movie podcast now.
Yeah, that's really bad for me.
I don't watch enough movies.
No, no.
Last time I said American Cycle and you said you've never seen it, like one of the top
movies of all time.
Oh, yeah, we set the premise.
Yeah.
What's the most recent movie you've seen?
Not to go down this movie rabbit hole too much, but-
(09:52):
I've rewatched Batman recently because I was watching The Penguin.
Well, like in theater.
What's the most recent one that got you out of the house?
No Suratu.
Oh, I did not watch this one.
That was a good one.
What about you?
What's your most recent one?
Tell me something bad.
It's not bad.
Wicked Part One.
Oh, I saw.
(10:13):
Okay, throwing in the part one is just, it's not even in the title.
It's a two part.
It's a two part compared to the play.
Wicked does not have part one in the title.
It's a part one, man.
It's a to be continued.
That doesn't make it part one unless it's in the title.
(10:33):
When you buy the ticket, it says part one.
When you buy the ticket, it says part one, buddy.
What theater you go?
Did you get like reclined seats?
I'm not telling you the local theater I went to.
Do you want the street address of it, buddy?
Hey guys, we're doing a meet up.
(10:54):
What was it like?
Do you still like going to the movies?
I feel like there's been this big pushback on movies recently.
I've been seeing it a little bit on TikTok where it's like movies are not the ideal place.
The movie theater is not an ideal place to watch the movies.
How was yours?
Yes and no.
It depends.
I enjoy a nice rainy day cozy up in my house and watch a Pixar movie.
(11:18):
That's a good vibe.
I rock with it.
Little Pixar?
Little up?
Crack a tier?
Little one tier rolling?
Have you watched up recently?
I watched it like six months ago and I forgot how sad it was.
Dude, the opening is so sad and then it all comes full circle at the end and then once
again you're like, why do you do Pixar?
(11:38):
Why do you do this to me?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
What the hell?
Pixar?
What the fuck?
I'm sitting in my girlfriend's ball and I'm sitting there because I'm a man.
I can't show emotion.
Sitting there, eyes are red.
Eyes are red.
Not one tier.
I'm holding in so hard I look constipated.
(12:00):
I am looking stressed.
I like a good trip to the movies though.
Here and there though.
I think the last movie, there's certain movies I think are made for movies.
True.
What was it called?
Oppenheimer.
I loved that movie.
I saw it multiple times in theaters.
(12:21):
Multiple times?
What other movies have you seen multiple times?
You got other ones?
Not many, but I'll one up it.
Not only did I see it multiple times, Oppenheimer is the first movie I've ever gone to the movies
so low for.
You went so low.
I always tell myself I'm going to go solo to something like that.
I went solo to breakfast one time.
(12:46):
Dude, something about just sitting in a restaurant, nobody talking to me.
I'm just sitting there eating.
There's not a problem in the world.
There's something about that.
I feel like going to the movies and just getting a little icy, having a popcorn, maybe even
putting down a dog by myself.
That feels special.
That feels special.
This makes me feel good about it.
(13:06):
You know what?
I'm clearing the night.
I'm going to the movies.
Dude, just a solo trip to the movies, why not?
It's not like I'm talking during the movies.
I went originally for Oppenheimer.
I went with my girlfriend.
We were like, oh, that was a good movie.
She was like, oh, that was a good movie.
I'm like, that was a great movie.
That was amazing.
Because it checked all the boxes for me.
(13:29):
I love those World War II, but the sciency side of it.
That's just something about imitation game.
I think that's what it's called.
I don't know.
I believe that's...
I might be butchering it.
It's on Netflix.
It's the actor with the weird face.
I can't think of it.
(13:49):
Dude, you are not helping us here.
Although I got to pull the name of this.
You got to carry me here for a second.
I really do enjoy going out to eat by myself, and I think I'm going to try and start doing
it more.
There's something...
I think that's pretty common in Japan where people...
(14:11):
Maybe it's the loneliness epidemic there, but people really enjoy eating and doing things
by themselves.
I feel like it's a lost art.
I don't want to be distracted.
I don't even want my phone.
I literally just want to sit there and enjoy my meal and just zone out.
By the way, the guy with the weird face, Benedict Cumberbatch?
Oh!
(14:32):
I feel like I kind of was right on that one.
Now that you say it, I would agree, but...
I think somebody heard it and they knew exactly who I was talking about.
They knew Benedict Cumberbatch.
I don't think so.
If you're listening and you heard me say the guy with the weird face and you knew I was
(14:55):
talking Benedict Cumberbatch, please let us know in the comments or reach out by email.
Reach out whatever way you can.
I'll give you my home address.
Write me a letter.
He'll give you the address to the movie theater he goes to.
You can pull up.
I actually am going to a public event pretty soon.
(15:17):
My first creator event.
It's kind of a neat thing.
What are you going to?
I was invited to a panel for...
No, I'm kidding.
I am going to an event.
There's a streaming service.
I'm a big fan of that's owned by creators called Nebula.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I know it.
I know it.
They have a show on it, Jetlag.
(15:38):
I'm a day one huge fan of Jetlag.
I've watched everything.
They're doing a premiere of it in New York City.
It's free for people.
It was free for a limited amount of people.
You just had to be a subscriber to the platform.
I signed up for a ticket.
So you're going to New York.
Are you going to spend the night?
Or are you just doing a day trip?
(15:58):
Yeah, there's not really a train back in time.
So yeah, spend the night.
February 27th, be on the lookout for your boy.
February 27th in New York for Nebula.
What is it?
Is it for there?
They filmed a new season of Jetlag.
(16:19):
If you've ever seen Jetlag, by the way, this is just to our listeners.
If you haven't seen this show, it's a fantastic show.
It's amazing.
It's basically like the YouTube version of The Amazing Race, where they just make a bunch
of game formats and compete around the world.
They've done things like tag, hide and seek, connect four, but they also do it using trains
(16:42):
and planes and all that stuff.
It's very cool, very innovative, very fun.
Big fan.
But their most recent season is, I don't know what the game format is, but it's with Tom
Scott.
Do you know who Tom Scott is?
I don't.
I feel like you would know who he is, but you probably don't know.
If I saw a picture of him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you could look him up.
(17:02):
They're doing a premiere of it in New York City.
So I was like, hey, I'm going to roll up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This should be dope to go to.
It's just a little train ride away.
So I'm taking a little train ride.
Are there any like, okay, let's say you had infinite, infinite money roll.
You got any crazy ideas for a video that you're like, if I had all the money in the world
(17:27):
and don't say a beast video because we all know it wouldn't be a, I'm giving away a billion
dot.
Nobody.
Let's not think made for TV type thing.
What would yours be?
Infinite money, infinite money roll.
You got the mobile app sponsor, Candy Crush is chucking you gems.
(17:52):
What is the movie?
I think my thing is less of like a prize or like a, like money for me would be like access
to kind of just people to help me produce something.
I think that'd be helpful.
Like I have a few ideas that I've like written down and I've just been like, I don't know
(18:13):
how I'll execute that.
One of which was like that one that we talked about of making all those like advertisements,
like buying a billboard, buying a super bowl ad and like stuff like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I have local diner advertisement, the diner, the diner mat.
(18:34):
I have one that I'll talk about this because I think this is a niche enough podcast that
no one's stealing it.
And I think it's just a hard thing to execute.
Hitting every hard rock cafe.
We've talked about this one a lot.
Because Eddie Burback did it with Rainforest Cafe and a similar number of hard rock cafes
(18:54):
are open to Rainforest Cafes and hitting every hard rock cafe.
One great, good food too.
And just doing the cross country trip for every hard rock could be a banger video.
I would love to do that.
But I think especially like the niche that I operate in.
I don't know, I said operate, like the kind of comedy commentary space.
I feel like I would have a hard time ever making that video without getting like a thumbs
(19:21):
up from Eddie.
Yeah.
You're very close content wise.
I imagine if you look at your, what is it, your analytics and you looked at like other
videos you probably got like Eddie or at least some of his friends.
I get so many comments from people just calling me like Drew Gooden or Danny Gonzalez.
(19:43):
It's funny though because everyone says something a little different.
Everyone's like, oh, this is just another, I'll say most people say it in a nice way.
They're like, oh, you're just like this commentary person.
But it's never the same one.
Drew and Danny stick out to me because those are people I watch a lot of.
But people, literally the whole spectrum, which I kind of take as a compliment, it means
(20:07):
that I'm kind of doing something right.
I think it's a good genre to be in right now.
And I think it's a good place to be.
I think they all make very good content and being compared to them is not a bad thing.
And it's not like you're stealing their ideas.
So you're making similar stuff, but doesn't, what is it, influence not, there's a word,
(20:31):
I don't know.
I know what you're getting at, be influenced not imitate.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So what was the idea?
You were getting there.
Oh, well, actually, before I get back to it, there has been a number of times that I've
had a video, just concept, I haven't thought it through or haven't produced or anything
(20:54):
like that.
I've just scribbled it down and then left it.
And then somebody else makes a video on it within a month.
And I'm like, dang.
Damn it, that was mine.
I've never had one.
I think the closest I've had is like, I've been deep into producing a video and somebody
made something like it.
(21:14):
But I think it was like Ludwig made a video, something like that.
I don't know.
It doesn't matter.
But the idea I've had, have you ever seen Ryan Trahan's Penny series?
Yeah, of course.
So for anyone who hasn't seen it, basically, like Ryan Trahan started with, or he had one
penny, he used it to buy like a pen, all this stuff.
(21:35):
The whole goal of it was like, get from, I think, LA all the way to North Carolina, where
Mr. Beast was, to give him a penny.
But he had to earn all the money to buy his flights and stuff like that, and his hotel
and food, all that just had to come from the series.
I think-
So you don't need money for that?
You need a penny?
(21:56):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what do you mean you need to like the amount, the kind of cadence
you have to produce it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's where the money-
I'm giving you a hard time.
And he had somebody following with a camera.
I know.
I know.
He had a cameraman the whole week that's probably paid.
I understand.
Not from the penny.
The thing I want to do is, I think it's kind of a mix of that versus probably like jetlag
(22:20):
that I was talking about, is do like a...
There's this thing in Counter-Strike called Nothing to Knife, where people would trade
items and do this stuff to get from nothing or like five cents or like that, all the way
up to a knife, which is like the most...
It could be a few hundred dollars, whatever.
(22:41):
Sure.
But broadly, kind of transitioning that concept to real life of like, if I went from nothing
to $50,000, that's the challenge of it.
And I think there's a really interesting thing to do there.
The only thing that has stopped me the entire time has been I've never been able...
(23:03):
Oh, I punched my mic.
I've never been able to figure out what should the goal be, because there needs to be some
sort of stake.
And it's like, if you gave me 50 grand right now, I'd probably just pay off my student
loans and have it washed.
But that's not an interesting headline.
I was going to say, yeah, that's not super.
I really like this YouTuber who does...
(23:27):
He watches...
Well, he reacts to like, what is it?
Reddit, like the Reddit investments thing where these people, they're on Robinhood losing
and gaining hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Are you talking about Atriac?
Huh?
Are you talking about Atriac?
No, no, it's not Atriac.
I can't even think of his name right now.
I don't even think I'm subscribed to him, but his videos always come up and I watch
(23:48):
him.
And he had a series that's doing exactly what you're saying where he started with nothing
and his goal was to buy an investment property and become a slumlord was like his running
joke and he ended up downloading like all the gambling apps and all them give you like
a dollar when you log on a day.
And he earns something like $58 a day because there's so many of them and he just logs on
(24:13):
and takes his dollar and logs off of like hundreds of apps.
Some of them give you $5, you know, and they give you a free bet.
And he just goes on every one of them and takes the dollar or the free bet.
And that was like his big way to get started.
I think he's at like 30K now where it's like he's done that.
He's done like other things.
He did a little bit of marketing.
But I was like, oh, it's kind of like a cool concept.
(24:36):
Yeah, I do.
I sat down and I thought about this idea so much.
Didn't you start working on it?
I'm not making this up.
I feel like you told me you started actually doing this at one point.
I did a little bit, but I realized pretty quickly that I was in over my head a little
bit.
Like I sometimes I can be a bit quick to be like, oh, I need I need to spend 50 bucks
(24:58):
for a video.
Like I'll just spend the 50 and I'll be like, I'll do the planning as I'm waiting.
Usually it's when something just gets shipped to me.
I'll be like, I'll do the planning as I wait for it to get here.
It's one of my constant pitfalls.
But yeah, it's just I've never been able to get like what that thing that people would
be bought into.
I don't know.
(25:20):
The only thing I could ever think would be like raising money for a charity.
And like even then, like it's cool, but it has to be there has to be just something behind
it.
Just saying I'm raising money for any charity.
I feel like it's not going to do it.
It would have to be like some of that related to you in a way.
Yeah.
So it's like, it's tough.
You know, if you got sick, you could raise money for a cure to your sickness.
(25:46):
Dude I do have a sickness.
Boogie2988 ate this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what this is?
Is student debt an illness?
Depends who you're asking.
Oh dude, it's tough.
It's yeah.
So I think eventually one day that video will come to light.
(26:08):
It's something I want to do so bad, but it's just never.
The rags to riches.
You could even, it would be interesting.
And I don't know if you could do it.
You could.
If you did a rag to rich.
No, because you don't.
I'm thinking of like, let's say I did it.
Okay.
(26:28):
And I did a rags to riches of replacing my work salary.
Like this is what I earn at my job.
I want to make it online.
And my goal is to earn X numbers in a year, which is my work salary.
And this is me replacing that.
And that'd be an interesting one if that was like a multi-part series.
Yeah.
(26:49):
Yeah.
Maybe I could set it up like that.
Or you could even do it.
Like I need X number to buy my fur to get in a house or rent or like.
I can't be.
Survive.
There's like certain things that will like, that'll check that box of like feeling cool.
The kind of the best point I had gotten to was like, Oh, I'll buy like a cool car.
(27:12):
And like, cause that could be like 30 grand or something.
It can be this payoff.
But it's just like, you know, even at that, at that point when I was doing it, I was like,
Oh, I'll do like a Tesla or something.
I don't want to do a Tesla now.
Not right now.
Thank you.
So you'll do the Tesla and you will be feeding right up into the, right up into the grindset
(27:37):
YouTuber.
Yeah.
And I know that's not what you want.
So it kind of leaves like, you're like, I'm getting, I'm getting my first Richard Mill
watch that's the dream.
Yeah.
Nobody, but like nobody's going to be commenting on it being like, Oh my God, I'm so happy.
I got to see you pay down your credit card debt.
Stupid.
So it's, but I think it'd be cool.
(28:00):
The other thing that I'd have to figure out how to do is like, do I just do the whole
thing in secret and release it like a video a week for 10 weeks?
Or do I do it, produce a video and then wait, you know, release it.
(28:21):
And then maybe three months later, part two comes out in part three.
Like it's not, I don't want it to dominate my channel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You'd have to, the problem, the other issue you have is you don't release a lot of content.
It's not like you're releasing weekly videos.
And if you took one in every four videos for this series, yeah, that like it would, unless
(28:45):
you were decided to release those more amongst your other things, it would just put you in.
Yeah.
It would be weird.
Yeah.
I feel like the real answer is I should just, I should just like record the whole thing
and then produce it and figure out from there.
And then figure out how many parts you want it to be.
(29:05):
Even if you did three parts in three weeks or, you know, something like that.
But alas, that's, that's, if that's the biggest problem I got going on, it's not too bad.
It's not too bad.
No, no, it's not.
So Jamie, I want to know if, let's say you were fighting third graders.
What a segue.
(29:25):
What is that?
Anyways, fighting third graders.
So let's say we're, let's say we're fighting third graders.
How many third graders you think you could take in like minute increments?
Every minute you got another third grader.
That's like an eight year old, eight, nine year old running at you.
You know what?
Give them a pencil.
They have a pencil.
They have a pencil.
It's sharp, but it's not like, you know, where you like try and really get that thing sharp.
(29:50):
It's sharp.
Like, you know, I've been using it sharp.
Okay.
Okay.
Look, so the last time I tried to fight a bunch of third graders, I got my ass kicked.
So I don't think I'd put it that high.
Let's be honest though.
How big is a third grader?
I don't.
Not that big.
I feel like I could take more than you could think.
(30:10):
I don't, I genuinely don't know the last time I've seen a third grader.
I'm not sure they still exist.
I'm not, I don't, I, where do they even go?
What do you mean?
Where did they go?
Elementary school?
They're eight or nine.
Where are they keeping all the third graders?
Oh, when they're not in school, they're keeping them in front of their roadblocks.
(30:32):
What do you mean?
Oh yeah.
This is, I, I.
They're ripping a roadblocks in Fortnite.
What do you mean where they're keeping them?
I promise I'll give you, I'll give you the, the answer to this, but I do need to mention
a few weeks ago, I was just walking through the grocery store.
And you fought a third grader?
Yeah.
I kicked his ass.
I absolutely decked a third grader just to say I could do it.
(30:54):
No, no.
Just to see if it was possible.
I'm walking through the, I'm walking through the, the grocery store.
It's kind of later at night.
You know, I'm just doing my thing, grocery shopping as one does.
And I see this kid probably, honestly was in like third grade.
He was short, kind of that, like.
Sure.
Like the age of like weird, but can speak English.
(31:14):
That kind of vibe.
Okay.
Okay.
And he looks at me and he goes, Hey, can you get sturdy?
And did you get sturdy for him?
Well, I'm like, I like, I'm terrified in that moment.
What am I supposed to do?
Like, Hey, I don't really know how to get sturdy.
Like I, I could see it and be like, that person is getting sturdy.
(31:37):
But me, I'm not, I'm not ready.
Sir, I was not sturdy at all.
And so I was just like, uh, uh, like, or like he started dancing at me at first.
And so I'm like, uh, and this is what I did.
I swear to God, audio listeners, I'm so sorry.
Don't look up, don't look at the video.
(31:58):
He, he's like starts hitting some move.
I forgot what he did.
Sure.
And I was just like, I'm walking, I got the hand basket.
So I just hit him with a, as I'm walking by, you know, just get a little, hit him with
a little gritty, hit him with a little gritty.
Come on.
That's the thing I should have low hit him with the gritty that you'll make that kid
(32:20):
stay.
He'll probably go back and be like, mom, that guy over there is pretty cool.
And then you'll have a, you'll have a milk going after you.
It's thank God.
My girlfriend does not make it 33 minutes into the podcast, man.
Thank God.
Does she like that?
She wants your other content.
She actually watched my videos.
(32:40):
Um, but yeah, it's this kid, this kid starts dancing at me.
My inner like 1970s, grandpa comes out.
I, instead of doing any sort of dance move and embarrassing myself, but in a cool way,
I just embarrassed myself in the embarrassing way.
And then he goes, can you get sturdy? and I was just like, Nope.
(33:04):
And I just put my head down.
I kept walking and just tried to avoid that kid for the rest of the time I was in the
store.
I should have checked them.
You should have just abs body checked them and said, you get sturdy.
I should have fought him.
So how many third graders could I, how many could I take?
You got, you got, I don't even think I took the one, dude.
I feel like you could take more than you think.
(33:26):
How often do you fight in third graders?
I'm not fighting them often, but dude, they're, they're, they're not even, they're not even
good on their feet.
I think, I think, how old do you think the Rizler is?
What grade do you think he's in?
I I'm trying to think of like a size comparison.
Rizler's a big, he's a big kid.
He's yeah, I feel like he would, I feel like he would, he might be in third grade.
(33:51):
Then maybe I couldn't take that many.
Maybe five.
Respectfully, I don't think, I don't think everyone looks like the Rizler.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I, I feel like I could go for a little bit.
I think I would have to go until I got winded.
I don't think the kids are what's stopping me.
I think my own cardio is what's stopping me here.
How are they coming at me?
Is it like from all angles?
(34:13):
I have to hold once at least at first, you would hope before that minutes up the one
third graders out of the, out of the books.
Are they coming through windows?
What's like, I need to know the format of it.
Cause I think we are middle, middle of a gym.
It's just your middle of the basketball court.
You're literally in the center of the court and there's like four doors in one third grade.
(34:36):
It comes from each door every minute.
So here's what I do.
I would train the children.
I would like run them in circles, you know, just like you do in zombies.
Run them in circles, train them up and then I would just, I would just dive into them.
I feel like I can kind of clothesline them.
(34:59):
Okay.
Like clothesline them, roll off right back to it.
Just keep knocking them down.
I would wait until one came in with pigtails and then I would Matilda it into the other
ones.
She grabbed the girl by the pigtails, spin them in the room.
You were thinking about this question.
(35:20):
You wanted to, you want to beat up some third graders.
I could take on, you know, I, I was originally my, uh, my original major was L ed and I was
like, I was thinking worst case scenario, all these kids in this classroom come at me.
How many, how many, how many am I taking?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the most likely scenario.
(35:41):
The kids are going to come try to beat you up.
I was like, what if, what if all these kids turn to, turn to bullies?
This, this is a really good thing to hear about any teacher is that they've thought
there's actually, there has to be a number of teachers that listen to this show.
Dude, I started looking at the classroom.
I said, I couldn't take all these kids.
I got to change majors.
(36:02):
That's what I was like.
These kids could actually take me.
I got to, I got to switch communication.
Carry out.
All right, so I think the answer is, uh, me, uh, under one third grader, Noah, I could
take 20.
I know it could take 20 just for shits and gigs.
(36:27):
I think I could take 20.
I think they're pretty top heavy.
You push them on the shoulder.
They're going down.
Yeah.
That's exactly what I was thinking.
They're like these kids, they still haven't grown into their big heads.
Yup.
Uh, well, why don't we stop threatening to beat up third graders and start saving the
(36:47):
world?
How about that?
Is it time for us to go get over to our questions?
Yes, it is.
If you guys want advice, make sure you write into our email at professionalinternspodcastatgmail.com
and you could be mentioned in our next podcast and we could be giving you advice answering
the hard hitting questions and saving the world.
(37:08):
Yeah.
I mean, what?
What's your problem?
Are you perfect?
Oh, this guy's perfect over here.
Okay.
Let us solve your problems, please.
All righty.
Our first question, how to find girls into tickling.
I have a tickling kink.
I've used tickling related apps and dating websites to no avail.
I also don't like sex.
(37:30):
So girls keep asking me, what's in it for me when I ask about tickling?
What should I do?
Right off the bat, he said he uses.
Okay.
I think I'm going to lay it out.
I what are the tickling related apps?
Tell me they're tickling related apps.
(37:51):
I'm just I just want to know for a friend.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But like I have no clue what what is a tickling related app.
I saw that and I was like, oh, this has to go on the podcast.
Do you are there like dating apps for tickling?
Like it seems I guess, you know, I'm not I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum.
(38:15):
If this is his kink, this is his kink.
I think we got to give him advice on how to find girls that are into tickling.
I got it.
It's our fucking duty.
It's our duty to help my help my man out and help him find girls that are into tickling.
We'll just find girls that are into tickling.
I think just be honest.
None of us.
(38:35):
We don't have great advice here.
Let's think like a girl who'd want to be tickled.
Where would you go if I was a girl who wanted to be tickled?
Internalize it.
We'll say it on three.
OK, think about it.
I just I'm doing what came to came to mind first.
Ready?
Sure.
One, two, three.
Chuck the body works.
OK, I'm thinking Chuck the cheese because the mascots might touch it.
(38:59):
Give you a little tickle.
I think that I feel like there's a lot of third graders there.
Noah, I'm not working at the Chuck E. Cheese.
What are you?
What are you?
I look, I don't know where you find bath and OK, why bath and body works?
I want to be honest.
I don't know.
You just I feel like you just chucked out a place.
(39:20):
You know where girls are.
It doesn't.
That's kind of that was honestly.
Yeah, I was going for the numbers game approach.
OK, I was going for that.
Where would you occasionally be touched in a tickly motion?
And I was like, maybe a mascot might give you a little.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look, not to like you said, not to yuck on this guy's yums, but like, but to be like,
(39:44):
oh, this is this is this is my kink.
But also, I don't like sex is kind of like I feel like that's almost contradictory.
Maybe it's not.
I don't know.
I feel like I don't fall into the camp of getting fulfillment from tickling.
I feel like you just start.
I feel like if you hung out with I feel like you just start going on dates with girls and
(40:07):
you know, you get to that point where maybe you're hooking up a little bit and you hit
them with a little tickle.
It doesn't feel like they're like if you're already consent consensually hooking up, I
don't think tickling would make it unconsensual.
I feel like that I feel like it's a numbers game with how you have to find them.
I think you have I think they don't want to like hook up with anyone.
I think that's like they're not into that.
(40:30):
So I think there's got to be a place for like asexual people to like meet up.
Like there's there's probably a lot of people like that.
I think Reddit.
I don't I don't know if it's a subreddit, but it must be a subreddit.
There must be like yeah, like tickle, but no fuck.
(40:51):
Like yeah, like a like a like a hook up site where it's like male 24 tickling and you'll
get hit up by someone.
I there must be a thing for this.
Like, yeah, I think I think if we're giving you good advice, I'm thinking Reddit because
there's always weird niche communities there that I probably probably wouldn't want to
(41:12):
go to here.
But you know, if you're looking for a tickle buddy, that might be the move.
So I would say Reddit, I don't I don't know if I have much else.
I I'd say because there's probably some sort of like dating app made for people who are
like just seeking like companionship, but not like sex.
(41:32):
There's some sort of asexual meetup thing.
So just go into that and play the numbers game because you'll be able to find somebody
who.
Look, I'm going to be I'm going to be real with you.
It's going to be a hard find to find somebody else who's asexual, but also into tickling
(41:53):
in a kinky way.
Wasn't so I.
I'm throwing this out there.
This was before me.
I feel like Ashley Madison, if you remember Ashley Madison, the big data league bunch
of famous people, was like like a hook up, like kind of like cheating on your wife type
app.
(42:14):
I feel like that one you could put kinks in there and then you could put in tickling and
something like that.
There must be an there must be an app where kinks are more taken into consideration with
your matches.
And I do I know what that app is.
Absolutely not.
But I feel like it exists.
It must exist.
(42:34):
Yeah, I think Reddit an app or found the community yourself.
Hey, pound the pavement.
Get out there.
Subreddit make the subreddit and just start just start just just banner.
Yeah, you're active in your tickling community and tickle community.
(42:57):
Start it.
You know, you could be you could be the guy that that makes this all happen.
You could be helping many other people with the tickle king.
Yeah, you could be like the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Sort of tickling for people for people like you'll be remembered like that.
But for people who have a tickling kink and don't want to don't go any further than that.
(43:21):
So you know, I think we helped you and I think we helped them.
Yeah, I think we I don't want to say we helped them.
I think we helped everyone in this position, which is probably a whopping maybe five or
six people, tens of people, tens of people.
All right.
Why don't we jump into the next one?
(43:43):
Yeah.
Jamie, you wrote that one in, right?
That was yeah.
Yeah.
You wrote the question and you're like, I need no advice, but don't want to ask him.
Yeah, that was the personal personal anecdote.
How to subtly let someone know you aren't interested in them.
I have a friend that I am 98 percent sure is interested in me, but I am not interested
(44:05):
into him.
It is getting to the point that it is making me uncomfortable and annoyed.
What can I do to let him know that I am not interested in a relationship that I am not
interested in a relationship that is more than just being casual friends?
Jamie, I think it matters how old you are, right?
If you were if you're in high school versus if you're like late 20s.
(44:31):
So I think we have to give them two two separate pairs of advice.
So let's focus on if they're in that like high school younger range first.
I would assume that's the case.
Yeah, I would also assume that's case, but I think it's funnier if it's not.
Oh, it is funnier if it's not.
But I don't know if you're young like this, I feel like you could look this kid in his
(44:53):
eyes and be like, I don't find you attractive.
We are just friends and we're only ever going to be just friends.
And I think he's going to spend the next six to eight years of his life pining over you.
Going to be honest here.
I think that's just kind of how it's going to play out.
(45:14):
If you're younger and somebody and this guy's coming on to you and you're not into it.
Yeah, I think I think you just I think you let them down as gently as you can and just
be clear and be like, hey, this ain't interesting or podcast answer.
You find someone else and then have them do it.
You find an actual boyfriend and have him be like, lay off my lady.
(45:40):
Well I think this guy is just going to be if I was going to say like, oh, say something
like to him about like how some other guy is so attractive.
But you know, he's going to be like, why hasn't she seen me like that?
And I was like, maybe you get a boyfriend and he's going to be like, gosh, it's just
going to be waiting for his chance.
So I think the real answer is you got to get him.
(46:03):
You got to get him someone else.
You got to set him up with someone else.
Get one of your friends to get one of your friends to bite the bullet.
Well, let's make an intern answer.
Get one of your friends to bite the bullet.
Act like they're in love with him.
Devastate him.
All right.
He's not going to want to go near either of you.
(46:25):
There you go.
Problem solved.
Or he might end up crawling back into her arms and be like, please help me.
And then he does the pity party thing where he's like, I'm such a nice guy.
Give me attention.
That's what he's going to do.
Yeah.
And now you just made it twice as bad.
I was thinking for a second, like, OK, set him up with someone.
Then he moved on.
You know, now it saves the whole friend group.
(46:46):
No, because what happens is that guy who's in his late 20s that's in love with you and
you're like, I just want to be casual friends.
It's the same guy.
He never moved on.
He just dated somebody.
But he was always secretly hoping he was waiting for you.
Shoot.
So now we actually got we really got to figure out how to rip the bandaid.
(47:09):
Yeah.
Now he's been attracted to you for 10 years, never got his chance.
And you still don't want to give him his chance.
You know, I respect that.
I respect your strength there.
Yeah.
I think I would still just be like, hey, you got to you got to move on.
You got a wife and kids at home.
Stop stop messaging me.
Yeah.
But what you also could do, you know, if he works at a mildly large company, find a way
(47:34):
to get him transferred.
Get a few works in the army, get him deployed.
There is get this guy out of here.
All right.
He'll be creeping in the in the Instagram and the tick tock.
Yeah, it'll be viewed by you know, first guy to see your story.
Are you first one there last one to leave, but your Instagram story?
(47:58):
I just feel I don't know.
I feel like I would just move on.
I just feel like I wouldn't give him the time of day.
And if it's really annoying you and it says you're getting uncomfortable and annoyed,
I think I would just cut him off cold turkey.
Really?
Like why?
Why even?
There's so many people in this world.
If one dude's annoying, you know what you do?
You just cut him out of your life and keep moving on.
(48:20):
There's no reason for you to keep him around even as a casual friend.
Yeah, I think probably the best chance is have like someone else who's like a mutual
friend of you to like rip that bandaid to him like someone he's close to to get that
little heart to heart chat and be like, oh, dude, I'm sorry, she's not into you.
(48:42):
And it's like it's gonna break his heart.
But like you're young, he'll move on.
But I think nipped it in the bud.
And if he's one of those guys that can't move on, because those people do exist, you just
got to cut him off.
But I think we think we also saved the world there again, although it was a little bit
too real.
So sorry, hope that works out for you.
(49:07):
All right, our last question of the podcast.
It's a little bit of a long one.
So bear with me here.
Should I subscribe to my crushes only fans?
What a start.
Hell yeah.
I have the biggest crush on this lady who's an aspiring model, which is this is just my
little note here.
That's a code for that.
She's not a model.
(49:28):
She's not well known, but has around 40k followers, which I don't believe all of them are real
since she averages about one to 300 likes and about 20 comments per Instagram post.
But that's not the point.
She doesn't respond to any of her followers on social media, including Instagram, Facebook,
etc.
But when she makes promotional posts for her only fans, she advertises that she will answer
(49:52):
every single direct message within reason.
Part of me wants to go subscribe, but part of me thinks if I do subscribe, all she will
think of me is just as a fan.
This lady is beautiful in every single way to me, but it's not just her beauty that attracts
me.
Her personality matches mine to a tee.
(50:13):
She loves sports, loves the great outdoors, traveling, and is a very caring person to
animals as she exemplifies often by sharing pics slash videos of her horses and pets.
When I look at this lady through images, my mind forgets that there are 4 billion other
ladies in the world.
(50:35):
All I see is just her.
She is my ideal other half.
If I had this lady in my life, I would never cheat or leave her aside.
Even if she lost her looks because a.
She lost her hair because of disease, parenthesis I really hope not, but if so that wouldn't
change anything.
Or developed an emotional eating disorder that made her lose some of her figure.
(50:59):
I don't care.
I'd be there to support her through it all.
I can't think of a way for us to meet organically because I'm not in her circle of friends
and I don't know anyone in her circle of friends.
She lives near Toronto, Canada, and I live in Chicago land.
I always thought I could take a small vacation there and hope I'd bump into her, but the
(51:23):
chances of that happening are slim.
So what should I do here?
And does anyone have any suggestions?
Holy shit, Noah.
Dude, this guy sounds like he's going to like wear her skin.
Yeah, no, no, I don't want to give him advice on how to get this girl.
(51:44):
I do not trust this fella.
Dude wrote all this about some random person he's never met, not in the friend circle,
and they live countries.
This dude should should stop everything he's doing.
And he didn't say just in sickness and health.
He said through some disease where she lost her hair and then she started eating and lost
(52:05):
her figure.
What are we?
I don't want this guy meeting her.
I don't want this dude meeting her.
Like I feel like this shouldn't have to be a rule of thumb, but it is.
If you need your passport to organically meet somebody, you have no chance.
Like what do you?
I'm going to take a trip to Toronto and maybe I'll bump into her.
(52:30):
Dude, what are you saying?
What do you think Toronto's like that you could just bump into this random, this random
guy just walking the streets for eight hours?
Also look, I'm going to hate to be.
I don't want to dox this girl.
Obviously, I don't know who she is or where she's from, but if she doesn't live in Toronto
(52:50):
in the same way that Noah and I don't live in Boston, but we tell everyone who's like
not from here that we live in Boston, it's nobody knows like whatever little ass town
she's from in Canada.
So she just says, oh, Toronto.
And people go, oh, I know that.
But this is crazy.
(53:11):
This is insane.
But yes, you probably should subscribe to the only fans because I think that's probably
the closest you'll ever get to her if that makes you feel better and gives you makes
you feel a little more fulfilled inside.
Sure.
But dude, it sounds, this is stalker ish levels of stalker ish.
This dude wants to run and run to Toronto and just casually walk into her.
(53:35):
Yeah.
At least remove her location from Instagram posts.
This guy's a.
Yeah, buddy.
Let's just make it clear in case, God forbid, anyone like this is listening to the pod.
But if you may identify with some of these feelings, let's just do a brief reminder.
This girl does not know you.
(53:56):
If you were to subscribe to her only fans, that's fine because she's only ever going
to think of you as just a fan because that's exactly what you are.
And yeah, you don't know her.
You don't know what her personality is like.
You know that she has horses and pets.
You think she's nice to him, but you see that eight second Instagram story.
(54:19):
She could be a horrible person.
Who knows?
But you're also a weird person and you shouldn't do this.
You should move on and probably seek therapy and maybe find someone in your own circle.
Maybe that's the way.
Just find someone you know.
Yeah, I feel I feel like this goes back to a previous question we had where someone was
(54:40):
like falling in love with like their AI, where it's like, yeah, it's so easy now to like
fall in love or like get like infatuated with someone and thinking, you know, everything
about them when you really don't.
And I think that's like, I think it's going to be like a detriment to society in the not
so distant future with people who aren't as socially like and adept and adept adept.
(55:09):
Sure, I just don't think I think this and like I think I imagine you're going to end
up seeing an uptick in like stalkers and things like that in the not so distant future due
to people thinking they know others from especially social media.
And it's just so easy to build what you believe to be a relationship like this guy has.
(55:31):
Yeah, yeah.
And yeah, I think it's just really important you have to recognize you're not you're not
friends with this person.
Yeah.
And you know, in the way that like, I think I think parrot being parasocial gets a bit
of hate.
Like, I was looking for parasocial.
Yeah, I think it's a bit of like overly hated because like there's YouTubers who I've watched
(55:51):
for 10 plus years, like who I feel this connection to.
But I'm also like, of enough mindset that like, if I met them, like in the way that
I'd feel really open because I feel like I know these people and I've seen them a lot,
they're not going to feel that way to me because this is their first impression of me.
(56:12):
Even if I've tweeted at them a bunch, even if I've commented in every video, like this
is you're not friends with them.
You can be a cool supporter.
Not you, not this guy.
I was kind of adapting a bit more to like people who like maybe fans like us or stuff
we create or broadly like that.
(56:33):
If it's something like this, I think like somebody's kind of dabbling in like the sex
work world and you're being weirdly like, you're like, this is the person for me.
You, yeah, you gotta get some stuff checked out.
I think we gave him the advice he needed.
Not the advice he wanted, but the advice he needed, which is what we're here for here
(56:55):
at the professional interns podcast.
I have something random that relates to this, but I feel like we had to call out this guy
being insane first.
Oh, of course.
There was, I don't know how to naturally segue into this, but I swear to God it's related.
(57:16):
There was this girl that I took out on a date in college.
Like he was a friend of a friend situation.
We go out on a date.
It didn't pan out very, like we are very different people, but it was like the date was fine.
Just didn't have a second one.
A year, maybe like a year later, bro.
(57:39):
I see her like posting on her social promoting and only fans.
She's now got this like huge, I would, I don't want to say huge.
I don't know exactly how big it is, but like enough that she posts about it.
And it seems like her job is just doing only fans and like, you know what?
More power to you.
(58:00):
Get your bag.
So you almost stated like a famous only fans.
Yeah, technically I went on a date with an only fans girl.
If we want to, you know, if we really want to skew it.
Maybe I was, maybe the date with me, I thought it was fine, but it was so bad that she turned
(58:21):
to, she was like, man, I'm over guys like this only fans.
Hey, real work.
It's real work.
You know, who am I to question it?
Dude, you know what?
I like, I think we off like off camera, you and I will make comments like, man, like we
(58:41):
get tuckered out by like recording like something for like an hour.
Like dude, I can't, like, I don't know.
I just set up all the lights and stuff for me, so the camera, the mic, all that jazz.
I can only imagine like doing that and then doing all that stuff that we do and then being
like, all right, I gotta look sexy now.
(59:02):
It's easy for me.
Always.
Yeah.
Always.
Not always.
Some of us got to try and you know what?
We're doing our best, but it's not happening.
Noah, what did we learn today?
I think, I think we learned that there's apps related to tickling.
Yeah, we, yeah, we learned there's apps related to tickling.
(59:24):
We learned sometimes you got to pound the pavement and start your own Tickle Fetish
community if there isn't already one.
Yeah.
And I think, yeah, I, I think that's what we learned.
That was a good, I, if you guys take nothing away from this, make sure that if you have
a Tickle Fetish, you build that community up, you get that subreddit to 50,000 Redditors,
(59:46):
even 50,000 like-minded Ticklers.
I don't know if there's that, yeah, it must be a name for that.
Yeah.
I'm uneducated, so I'll correct it next episode.
But, hey, I appreciate everyone's time and viewership.
If you guys are in, or if you guys enjoyed this podcast, make sure that you liked it.
(01:00:07):
Make sure you rate us.
If you're on YouTube, like and subscribe.
Please, we're begging you.
It makes us feel good when we see those numbers go up.
And, uh...
I know, what do you got going on?
I recently added a webcam to my YouTube channel for video games, so if you guys want to go
check out my Sims series, which has a webcam, I also dropped another video today with the
(01:00:27):
webcam.
And if you guys want advice from us, huh?
What series are you doing right now?
I got Sims going on.
I got, what else I got going on?
Sims, I got Storage Hunter Simulator, I got the Long Dark.
Those are my three big ones.
Big three going up right now.
Big three, what about you?
Didn't you just drop the video?
Like a week ago now?
Just dropped a video.
It's called, I bought all the weirdest, what is it called?
(01:00:48):
I don't remember my own video title.
This is embarrassing.
I bought the weirdest items on TikTok Shop for a month.
You can go check it out.
I think it's a good video.
I put a lot of time into it.
And I also got, I don't know when this is going up.
This is going to probably be two weeks.
I might have a movie.
I might have a bad movie video going up.
Right around that time.
(01:01:09):
I don't know.
In two weeks it might be.
It might be up.
Depends on the next two weeks go.
I still got to film it.
But you know, we've been putting in the back end work.
So go check out the channel if you're interested in hearing some of that.
And if you guys want your questions answered on the next podcast, please write into our
email at professionalinternspodcast.gmail.com.
(01:01:31):
And I hope I see all of you in that next one.
Bye.
Bye.
Tell your friends about the podcast.
Bye.
Bye.