March 10, 2025 • 52 mins
On this episode of the Professional Interns Podcast, Jamie and Noah discuss weddings, internet events and what to do if you send your grandmother... well.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Yeah, I mean, that's why I don't even go on boats anymore.
(00:10):
Anyways, let's do this podcast.
Hey guys, welcome back to the Professional Interns Podcast.
It's a podcast where two friends give comedy advice or sometimes just me and Noah.
Noah?
You know, sometimes we're friends, sometimes we're giving advice.
It really could go any way there.
How have you been, Jamie?
(00:31):
I have been delightful.
I think at the top of the hour, we should own up to something though.
It was Noah's fault we didn't upload last week.
He got lost at sea.
I had to go find him and I'm not that good of a swimmer.
Okay?
I had nothing to do with me.
I think schedules didn't line up.
You know, you'd be surprised to hear that the professional interns actually work a little
(00:54):
bit outside of the podcast.
And sometimes things just don't line up great.
I think we're using this week to get a head start.
We're going to be two podcasts out now, just in case.
Just in case.
It won't happen again.
Hey, it's the learning.
Don't say it won't happen again.
It will happen again.
(01:15):
But hopefully we get another 10 episodes before it happens again.
Growing pains?
I was going to say learning steps and that's not a thing.
It's learning steps.
Yeah, we were supposed to record on the weekend and I know you went to a wedding over the
weekend, which I'll let you talk about, but I looked at your story and I was going to
(01:38):
reach out to you and be like, hey, we're going to film the podcast.
And we were supposed to film on Sunday.
And then on Sunday I woke up in the morning, looked through your story from the night before.
I'm like, he's not filming today.
I didn't even reach out.
Nope.
So whenever I go to a wedding, I have a couple of rules.
One, I'm at the point in my life, always a hotel.
I'm always doing a hotel.
(01:59):
I'm not trying to drive home after a wedding or I'm not trying to Uber home.
I live in the middle of the boonies.
There's really no Ubering here.
So I don't want to have to pace myself to drive at the end of night.
So now a hundred percent hotel.
And you know, if I do a hotel, I got to be laying in that bed like passed out, like I
went way too hard.
Open bar, I enjoyed myself.
(02:21):
There's no other way to do a wedding.
Just, you know, drinking, having a good time.
Jamie, you're going to my wedding.
Are you excited for that?
Dude, is it an open bar?
Do we know?
Oh, my wedding?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's the night.
It's the night you'll never forget.
And the night that I won't remember.
(02:44):
I've been trying to think about signature drinks for the two.
So I have a cat and a dog.
I have the new fee and an orange cat.
I've been trying to think about signature drinks for them.
Orange cat.
I'm thinking I'm thinking something, some sort of cider cocktail for the orange cat.
I don't know what it is yet.
I know they exist.
That's what I'm thinking.
And for the for the new for the new fee, black dog, I'm thinking something probably with
(03:08):
a little charcoal in it to make it black.
I just don't know what it is yet.
I don't know if you got any ideas.
Do you hear me out?
This is the first time I've heard of this.
By the way, this is sounds very cute.
I love it.
And I'm going to ruin I'm giving you the intern advice, baby.
Orange for your cat.
(03:30):
Maybe a little a little mimosa.
What's wrong with the mimosa?
Late in the night, I'll drink it.
This is the real advice.
OK, OK.
For the for your dog.
I mean, straight whiskey.
Cut it with nothing.
It's it burns and it's not in a little whiskey glass.
(03:53):
You're getting like a glass.
You're getting a real glass.
A tall it's a tall 12 ounce of whiskey.
You know, Lucy will put you on your feet when you're not expecting it, but with her weight
and that thing will put you on your feet when you're not expecting it with its weight.
So you know what?
Maybe the tall glass of whiskey.
You might have something there.
(04:14):
I don't know if the fiance is going to bite, but I will pitch it.
Yeah.
You got to fight for this.
You got to be this might be this is the hill I'll die on.
No, this is this is a hill.
You'll pitch a tent on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I won't die in the cell, but I will pitch a tent.
There it is.
That might be one of the podcast all time bangers.
We are not in this.
I will say your dog does not or your dog does very evidently look like she would put you
(04:41):
on your ass.
I'm not going to I'm not going to edit in a picture of her.
If you want to see a picture of her, you got to go to know his Instagram.
Look at that.
No plug in the top of the hour.
Plug it.
No, no underscore.
Corona underscore.
Go find it.
There's plenty of it.
There's plenty of photos of little Lucy.
Not so little hundred pound new fee.
She's a great girl, but she you know, I walk her and every time I walk her, I walk the
(05:07):
same path every day on lunch.
I'm doxing myself here.
Hope to see you guys on the path.
Check me out on the path, guys.
The address is a walk the same path every day on lunch.
And I always run into this little old lady who walks with their two unleashed little
yappy dogs.
And every time she's surprised to see me, every time I turn around the corner with the
(05:32):
new found that she kind of like scurries over it and like kind of tries to grab her dogs.
And Lucy, she's nice.
She doesn't really care.
She just kind of walks by him.
And every time she like goes, oh, big dog.
I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And every single time without like missing, I turn the corner and I see her and her two
little dogs can running up and she goes, oh, big dog.
(05:53):
And then picks up her dogs and just keeps going.
I'm like, you see this dog every day.
I know I am.
She's saying it to me.
She's like, oh, big dog, dog.
She goes fist pump after.
I'm like, yeah, big dog.
B-A-W-G, big dog.
(06:13):
Dude, I love running into little, I love running into like people that are like NPCs, but like
regular NPCs in real life.
There's a guy at the gym I go to who I've seen, like I've been to this gym on and off
over the past probably seven years.
I've seen this guy there from the jump.
(06:35):
The entire time in my life that I've been going to the gym, there's this older gentleman.
He's this bald black guy with like a mean mustache, almost like a Steve Harvey mustache.
And he's just handling business.
I don't know.
He always has a duffel bag with him.
I never see him doing anything, but he's always got a duffel bag in the sweat towel.
(06:56):
So he's got to be putting in work.
Maybe he's just hanging out.
I have an NPC.
So other than the one old lady I see on the walk, I got one more NPC.
It's another dude on the walk.
This dude is there.
He's punctual.
Every day at 12, he does.
So it's like, I don't know, it's like a mile road.
And he does the lap twice and he keeps his head down.
(07:16):
He doesn't wave to me.
He doesn't acknowledge me when I walk by.
And he's probably like six, four and just like maybe like late fifties.
He's just a big muscular guy.
And he literally just the whole time just head down, no headphones.
He's raw dog and it doesn't look up to even acknowledge me.
And he just guns past and I'll walk past this dude four times in a week.
(07:39):
Maybe more because he's doing it twice and he speed walks.
Doesn't even, I don't even think he knows I'm there.
This dude just head down.
He's staring bullets at the ground trying to avoid eye contact.
But he knows you're there.
He doesn't like the dog.
He doesn't like the new fees.
(08:00):
Every single day I see him and he's like, he's a big dude.
And I'm like, this dude could probably kick my butt if he tried.
And lose.
He could take his bolt out.
But he does not.
He's a man on a mission.
He wants to get his midday walk in and this is probably his one chance to get away from
the old ball and chain at home.
And he works his walk.
(08:21):
Noah's like, yeah, this guy walks like he hates his wife.
The way he's walking.
I know that stride.
I can see that stride from a mile away.
That guy walks just like my dad.
(08:44):
Hates his wife.
I don't know, man.
Oh my goodness.
Dude, this is a segue.
Walking.
I walked a lot this weekend because I went to New York City, baby.
The Big Apple.
So when you say New York City, were you in like that big Apple square?
(09:05):
New York City is big.
There's a lot.
Big Apple.
Times Square.
Did you pay congestion fees?
Are those still going on?
Did you drive?
I did not drive.
I took the train in.
Oh, OK.
Well, then you would.
Because I'm a public transit commie.
Love me.
(09:27):
Train ride in was lovely.
Jamie, our friendly socialist here.
I love the train from Boston to New York bullet train.
Dude, I'm a big public transit guy.
I love me a good shared rail network.
It was nice because I don't like having to deal with having a car.
Like I like the light respect at my house in my in the burbs.
(09:51):
I enjoy having a car.
I don't like carrying my grocery.
I don't want to walk from the grocery store to my house.
Sure.
But like I don't want to New York City's made for walking.
I don't want to rent a parking spot for 90 dollars for two days.
So yeah, I took the train and I was I was stepping all over the place.
It was kind of lovely.
(10:12):
I was in that way.
I was in the congestion pricing area because I was in like Manhattan and like that downtown.
I was in like Soho, which I learned where that is.
That's where I was.
So so hipster of you spending time in Soho.
Thank you for your weekend.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
(10:32):
I went I also very hipster of me went to a gluten free restaurant.
Wow.
Well, that my girlfriend, my girlfriend, I was going to say.
So I've been to quite a few gluten free restaurants.
But no, yes, I was in I was in that congestion pricing zone.
I think it's still going on because there was not that much traffic and it was lovely
because of that.
(10:53):
It was I was crossing the street whimsically.
Hmm.
Yeah, I almost get hit by a taxi.
It's a view.
It's a beautiful.
It's a beautiful thing.
It was I feel like I'm going to give you a little bit of a bone.
I got to pick congestion pricing.
I think it makes sense.
I don't think New York has good public transit that facilitates congestion pricing as of
(11:17):
now.
I think maybe if they keep it going and they use that money to build up their public transit
better, I think it might be better.
But I feel like right now I do not.
I think New York I also haven't lived in New York City.
I also haven't lived in New York City.
So maybe I'm wrong.
To be fair, I don't know about those commuter lines like like how well they are.
(11:38):
I'm sure the people on the commuter lines got a bone to pick.
But I will say out of any city in the U.S., New York City is the best.
But it's also has a good Boston is the worst.
Really?
I could go to I could go on such a tangent about this, but I'm not going to.
I watch too many of those logistic YouTube videos.
(12:00):
I know I'll give you the skinny of it.
I'll give you a shirt.
Give me the because I lived in Paris.
Paris is a great public transit network.
What you want is like a circle.
It's like called a ring road.
You want things to kind of go around because if you're like you want things to kind of
go around and intertwine like a mesh almost rather than just through the center and out
(12:22):
because it makes sense to go through the center.
But like if you were on the edge of it and you're trying to go like on the edge, then
you have to go all the way to the middle and out.
I'm doing probably a pretty bad job for audio listeners.
There's a really great video out there, I think by Wendover.
Ah, you love Wendover.
What's their platform?
(12:44):
You are a strong advocate for what is their streaming platform for Nebula.
That's why I was in the city.
I was watching.
Oh, you that is why you were there, right?
I was watching the premiere of their show Jetlag, which is dope.
It was a good fun time.
It was a little weird because because we were in like they rented out a theater and I think
(13:08):
it might be a known theater.
I didn't think it was, but I heard someone mention on podcast the Angelica Theater.
Not sure if that rings a bell to anyone.
But yeah, so we were there.
They rented out a theater and then they played the first episode of the show, did like a
podcast Q&A at the end of it.
It was real cool.
Tom Scott was there.
(13:28):
You know, Tom Scott.
I know Tom Scott.
Yep.
Dude, so cool that you got to talk to Tom Scott for a second.
It is so weird, though, to meet these people in real life.
Like because I've only ever seen them on a screen.
I only know them as like the character in the show and whatnot.
(13:49):
And I understand parasocially like they are a human behind that, right?
But like sure, I've never had to think like, oh, how tall is this person in relation to
me?
Like if I stood next to them, am I looking up at them?
Am I looking down at them?
And so I had to confront that this weekend.
And it's very weird.
And were you looking up at them?
(14:09):
Some.
Some I was looking most I was looking up at.
Some I was looking at.
I'm not a very I'm not considerably a tall guy.
I think I'm pretty average height.
I don't think I've ever.
OK, so back back when Josh, you know, my twin brother did YouTube in our one and only podcast
guest.
(14:29):
Give it up.
Give it up.
Give it up.
And we went to Pax East and we got to go to like one of like the events with like all
the streamers and stuff.
And I'm realizing we're not tall people.
Josh and I were what we're six one.
We're six feet, six one on a good day.
OK, OK.
(14:50):
But like we're not tall people.
We're not taller than the average person.
We're not like massive.
But like at these streamer events, we're massive.
You look around, maybe it's just a gaming space thing, but people are short.
People are short.
And I don't feel like I don't know.
I don't feel like I'm that tall.
Like I meet people taller than me all the time.
(15:11):
But but a freaking Pax East.
Oh, we're tall.
Yeah.
No, you're I describe you as average tall, like you are a taller person, but you're an
average taller person.
That's fair.
Whereas me, I think I'm basically Victor Wemba Nyama.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely the league, baby.
(15:32):
One of my one of my friends was on dating apps and we would go on double dates very
often.
And he always said he was six feet and a little bit I would do to him as someone who's six
one.
And he was probably like five, ten, maybe five, eleven.
I would go and they would be like, oh, it's nice to meet you.
(15:52):
I'd be like, yeah, I'm five eleven.
I'd be literally like three inches taller than people don't.
When you just start chucking out heights, nobody like actually like has a point of reference.
So then they would look at him and just in their head, they'd be like, oh, he's really
short.
My buddy who's actually five eleven and I have like three inches on him.
And I'd be like, yeah, I'm five eleven or just I'm just barely six feet.
(16:17):
And then my buddy be like, I'm six feet.
And like so clearly looking at each other, looking at us next to each other.
He looked tiny.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it was just a running bit we would do.
And he hated every time I do it when we're like at a bar or something.
He just think he would just shake his head and like just not acknowledge it.
I'd be like, give him a little side eye to like him and his date.
(16:44):
This guy, did he lie about his height on the app?
I think we're going to go.
Is Paxi the only one of those streamer events you've been to?
Or like we'll call it Internet events.
Yeah.
(17:04):
Oh, no, I went to EA Play, which Josh also got invited to in L.A. and we were like right
out to L.A. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Josh got Josh was Josh was paid for all of Josh was.
They covered Josh's stuff.
They covered him in one guest, which was his which was his now fiance girlfriend back then.
(17:28):
And then they gave him a room with two beds.
And you know who got the other bed?
So I so I they did give me like passes and stuff.
I got to meet all the meat at that time.
It was mostly Simmers.
So we got to meet like, I don't know, I do not recognize any of the names, maybe viewers
would we met like James Turner and Vixella and Little Sims.
(17:51):
I think it's like the really big one.
All I'll be honest.
You meet these people.
Very nice people.
Everyone was so cool, except for one dude who played to K. I could not tell you his
name, but I remember talking to him.
I was like, this dude's an ass.
I remember talking to him and the dude was like, like very much aware he was one of the
(18:12):
bigger content creators there and made sure everyone knew he was one of the bigger content
creators there.
But I could not.
It was like, oh, it wasn't to K. It was FIFA because it was.
But like it was such a weird niche space that I personally know nothing about.
I don't even know if I could tell you what he looked like if you showed me a picture
of him right now.
But I remember talking to him.
I was just like, this dude kind of sucks.
(18:33):
I was like, I'm not talking to him anymore.
This dude blokes.
What the hell?
Go open some packs.
What are you talking to me about?
Did you know who these people were beforehand or now?
The simmers, yeah, because Josh was a Josh got flown up because he was a simmer.
So like I knew of them.
Like I mutually followed a couple of them on like Instagram and stuff like so.
(18:54):
I don't think I ever had like conversations with them before then.
But like I've had conversations since with a couple of them.
And most of them were honestly all the simmers, at least the people who we mostly hung out
with really nice people.
Really all of them were very down to earth.
That's the same for the one FIFA guy I talked to.
You know what?
Yeah, moral of the story.
Fuck that FIFA guy.
(19:14):
What the fuck?
Don't talk to the FIFA guys.
That's what I'm saying.
Isn't it?
It's it's just I think this is the first time that I've actually it's happened to me before
because I used to be really big into eSports and I went into like a lot of eSport events
and I met the players.
But I think it felt a bit like I'm older now.
(19:35):
It's just really weird seeing these people in person.
It's also I don't know if I think this might be a little bit of a mindset thing.
It's also weird meeting them as a fan, but like feeling like a content creator myself
and unsuccessful.
I don't know.
Success is variable.
But like a small, small because I don't want to say unsuccessful because like I have seven
(20:01):
case subs and there's a dude probably grind now with one case subs who's like, sure, dude,
I'd kill for that.
So there's always someone.
Yeah, I get what you're saying.
But like, yeah, it's weird to be like, oh, I'm trying to be a part of the space that
you're a part of.
Like, what's the like, I guess the difference is like, whether you're successful or not
(20:23):
in that.
Are we getting philosophical here?
Maybe a little, but I feel like it depends on how you look at it.
But I feel like you know what I found weird when I met these people is that they were
all my age.
And I was like, that is well.
And the thing was, I guess, I don't know, maybe YouTube is paying them better than I
expected.
But like, they weren't like massive, like 100k.
(20:43):
Like, I'll be honest, somebody got 100k might not be making a living off YouTube alone.
And like, I didn't feel like they were significantly more successful than me.
But they were more successful in this space.
But it was like weird being like, that person's my age.
And they did this with their life.
And I'm doing this.
Like at the time, I was like, almost done with college.
But I was just like, it's interesting seeing like, I don't know, the different routes and
(21:06):
what people take and then meeting people and then realizing they're mostly normal people
that are just, I feel like if you met, I don't know, celebrities, you'd probably find a lot
of them to be relatively normal.
A lot of them.
I'm not going to say all of them.
But yeah, yeah, I think this is something I've thought about, like, kind of a lot.
Dude, this is the deepest episode we may have ever had.
(21:29):
But I've had this thought before because when I got to the age where it was like people
in the NFL and like upcoming sports stars were my age or younger than me, I was like,
dude, what am I doing?
I'm one year out of college.
Probably like right when we had met when I was working at marketing agency, I'm an intern
(21:51):
at a marketing agency.
I'm like, what am I, like this guy is making millions of dollars.
But like, I think the thing you don't see is A, you never hear about the person who
failed in that pursuit.
Like you only hear the winners.
And then B, like, you don't see what happens behind closed doors on that.
Like, I might be sitting here like pining, not pining, that's the wrong term, but like
(22:15):
wishing I had the, like a life like that, where they might be like, oh, like, I wish
I had that college memory where you sat on a roof at one in the morning with your buddies
drinking beers.
Yeah.
I feel like what I think about a lot is just like that space of like how people get to
(22:41):
where they are and like what that looks like, like individually.
And I just think it's really interesting to see, you know, people find success in all
their own unique ways.
And I think it's really interesting to find celebrities in really niche spaces.
Like when you meet, like, I'm trying to think of, I guess the FIFA guy would be a good example.
(23:06):
That dude had like millions, millions doing FIFA pack openings and I couldn't pick them
out of a lineup.
And this probably freaking, he probably put up, you know, a million views a day.
And I'm like, I don't know who the hell you are.
And then to take that to heart and then act shitty about it.
Yeah, that's crazy.
(23:27):
I thought I actually had a thought like this when I was at my event, like over the weekend,
it actually wasn't even over the weekend.
It was a premiere on a Thursday night, which is kind of crazy.
But the I was thinking like they're they just rented out one theater.
There's like seven theaters there.
So there was still normal moviegoers just kind of walking in doing whatever they're
(23:47):
doing.
And so those people were like, who the hell are these random ass people?
So like, why are people taking pictures with these nerds and that old guy?
I'm like, that's Tom Scott.
Show some damn respect.
You haven't seen him on TikTok.
He's everywhere.
He's got I'm in a well.
I'm in a submarine.
(24:09):
Yeah, it's just like you can matter to people.
I got recognized when I had two K or like one K or two K subs on my gaming channel and
I was like 17 and I went to a gaming event and like I was probably 16.
And someone was like, oh my God, you're I'm not going to say actually waiting.
(24:30):
It's already in here.
I'm not going to say it.
I'm not going to say it.
My gaming channel is going to keep it a little bit close to the chest.
Sure.
But they're like, you're him.
And I was like, yeah.
But like I was so there in a fan mindset.
So it's very weird to be recognized.
I was like.
What are we doing?
But hey, you know, one day somebody might be like, hey, you're the you're the guy from
professional interns.
(24:51):
I'll be like, what is up, YouTube?
If one of our eight listeners says that, hey, that would be big.
We get more than I.
We got more listen.
I've got more listeners on the personals.
Let's be honest.
And the purpose on the part that our personal our own our own YouTube channels.
Oh, I would.
More importantly, my name is Big Blue Bug.
(25:12):
I'm waiting for the for the DM for the DMCA with Epi.
Well, no, it's a copyright strike.
You're thinking of a cease and desist.
I'm waiting for the cease and desist.
The cease and desist.
The cease and desist from from the big blue company themselves.
(25:33):
I don't know.
I don't I don't know if I got a leg to stand on here.
Feels like we're in different industries, but if you don't know, my name is Big Blue
Bug and I'm named after like the Rhode Island.
Like there's a big paper mache big blue bug on the highway.
And it was like in Dumb and Dumber.
It was in a few others.
It was in Dumb and Dumber.
(25:54):
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, that was.
Yeah.
And I I'm I took that name and made myself Big Blue Bug Gaming and I'm waiting for the
pest removal company to send me the cease and desist.
They did quit doing that.
I'm probably cranking up their cranking up their cost per their cost per click on Google
(26:15):
with my.
I don't actually know if they could say anything to you.
We're in different industries.
I don't think it's I don't think it's copyrighted for other industries.
I think maybe if I sold merch or something, they'd be like, well, we want to sell Big
Blue Bug merch.
Do they even?
I don't know.
They might.
But as like a licenseable thing, I don't know.
(26:36):
I'm not too sure.
The only merch I sell is I hate Big Blue Bug Big Blue Bug Gaming merch available.
I hate Big Blue Bug Gaming Dotcom.
Did you you end up making that site?
No, I never made that site.
No.
Oh, you just ordered the merch.
I do.
I have this stuff to make shirts.
So I made one of it's a one of one.
(26:56):
It's in my closet.
I pull it out.
But I'm in the office so I can't.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
All right.
What do you say we jump in some questions here?
Yeah.
Yeah, let's do it.
Let's do it.
All right.
It is time for the intern inbox questions.
(27:18):
And if you want your questions answered on the next podcast, please write into professional
interns podcast at GMO dot com with your questions or things you might need advice on.
So save your life.
We'll save the will.
We will save your life.
For the first question we got, my ex wants to talk about moving on.
I'm about to talk with my ex tonight.
(27:38):
For context, we broke up a few months ago and after being no contact for about a month,
we agreed to still be friends.
Everything has been smooth sailing until I mentioned last night that I started talking
to another guy, but it ultimately didn't work out after about a week of talking.
He got upset and said that our relationship must mean nothing if I could move on.
(28:00):
I told him that I put myself out there only once and it didn't work.
Also, agreeing I wasn't entirely ready.
He wants to talk tonight and I'm very anxious.
What else can I say for him to see my side?
Did I mess up by starting to meet new people so soon?
(28:21):
Well, I think what's really important to note for you and I is that they are friends.
So thankfully, nobody else can manage to be friends as exes, but the two of them, they
did it.
They pulled it off.
Dude, I don't know why everyone tries to be friends with their exes.
(28:42):
I'm going to, guilty as charged, I've tried it before.
Doesn't work out.
I feel like clean breaks are hard, but I think that's probably your...it's your best bet
to go for the clean break.
Everyone wants to go back for a little bit of that forbidden fruit, but it's probably
just better you get out of there.
(29:05):
And honestly, it's like you should pretend you got no contact order for at least a couple
months and I think that might help you reset your headspace.
Yeah.
Look, we're going to give you the real advice before the intern advice.
You're not going to be the only person that pulls it off, the guy who manages to stay
(29:26):
friends with their ex.
It's actually, I think this is the girl, the only girl who stays friends with their ex.
It's not going to happen.
He still wants to be together.
Who broke up with whom?
Did they say that?
For context, we broke a few months ago.
No, nope.
Doesn't say they just had no contact for about a month.
(29:47):
Month too short?
Extend that.
Yeah.
Let's be honest here.
He probably is still hoping to get back together.
It sounds like you broke up with him.
And so it's like you have to be a younger person just kind of judging by this.
Just move on.
You're going to learn from this.
(30:08):
There's a line from a song I really like that's people are only in your life for seasons.
Sometimes that's just how it is.
Sometimes people are only around for a little bit of time and it sucks when anything like
that ends, but you got to just enjoy the time.
All right.
I think we solved that.
So let's give them the intern advice now, Noah.
(30:31):
You know, the intern advice, keep sleeping together, enjoy sleeping together, find someone
else and then just get out of there.
The second you find something a little bit more serious and just pretend like, I don't
know, they didn't exist.
That's crazy.
You said intern advice, Jamie.
Okay, give your advice.
What's your crazy advice?
(30:52):
Sleep with the dad?
What do you think?
Look, look, she says he wants to talk tonight and she's very anxious.
What can I say for him to see my side?
I love you.
Three very strong words.
Just drop it.
Just say it again.
(31:13):
It depends on the guy.
There's a certain type of guy where if you just threw something like that at him, they
go, well, I wasn't saying all that.
Like what would, what could you say?
You could say a few things.
Does he have a brother?
Be like, I'm just more into your brother.
I feel like that would kill it on spot.
That ruin it.
(31:33):
You'd be done.
You'd be out.
You'd be good.
Be clear.
Chalk clear.
I'd say you could be like, oh, I only like girls.
I think, or I think I like girls, but I think he'll take that as a challenge.
I'll be the one.
It's like that episode of Jersey Shore where Pauly D sleeps with two lesbians.
(31:55):
Hell of an episode.
Dude, Jersey Shore was before it's time.
If Jersey Shore came out today.
It was perfectly timed.
No, no, no.
Bring it back.
I want Jersey Shore back right now.
Okay.
You want to know the issue?
No, it was in its time.
Because if it was now, there'd be way more drama about weird things that don't matter.
(32:18):
It would ruin the vibe.
It would be like Jersey Shore Island.
Jersey Shore Island.
We bring in one of their hot exes every episode.
Yeah, for real.
Yeah, I don't know.
I think all in all, YouTube broke up for a reason.
(32:39):
I think just call it quits.
It doesn't seem like you want it to be back.
He's real upset that you started seeing someone else.
I mean, actually, we should say, I mean, it is, I do feel like it was a little fast for
you to move on.
If it what?
Like if you guys were broken up for a month.
I don't know.
(33:00):
It doesn't say how long you were together.
Yeah, how long were you together does matter.
If you moved on after a month, like I guess it, yeah, we don't fully know.
There's some timeline stuff here.
I think long story short, you're on the right.
He's being a weirdo.
You just got to go back to being no contact.
You're not going to be friends.
(33:20):
If they're possessive now, they'll be possessive about you in a year.
Like it'd probably be easier just not to communicate and they will hopefully catch the hint and
you can both move on.
And then, you know, if maybe in a few years, I would give it years based on the one month
not working, give it years.
And maybe if you run into each other at a coffee shop, you could fall back in love madly
(33:41):
over a nice cappuccino.
It could be this great love story.
But right now that love story ain't happens.
Get out of there.
Quit talking to him.
Yeah.
I mean, like, look, people do get back together.
It's happened in every Hallmark movie I've ever seen.
So there's a chance.
And Jamie's seen a lot of those.
I've seen a good amount.
I've seen a lot of bad movies.
(34:01):
I've seen I've seen quite a few of them.
But yeah, it's and it's probably as much for his benefit as it is yours.
Like it sounds like you both need to grow as people.
And this is one of the ways that people grow.
All right, Noah, killed that one.
We fucking nailed that shit.
Let's do next one.
All right.
(34:22):
Our next question.
Do I tell my little brother what his quote, I love cream pies shirt really means?
My younger brother is a junior in high school, great grades, involved with his church, upstanding
kid kid.
One of his favorite snack foods are Little Debbie oatmeal cream pies.
My mom knows this and got him a shirt that reads I love cream pies for Christmas.
(34:47):
Being on the Internet too much, I know what a cream pie is.
However, my mom and my little brother have no idea what that means.
I am pretty sure it's one of those dirty shirts that's pretending to be innocent.
But my poor family is too innocent to realize.
I would hate for my little brother to be made fun of by his friends or for my family to
scandalize their local church group.
(35:09):
On the other hand, I would hate to ruin his Christmas by pointing this out.
Do I tell my little brother the true meaning behind his shirt?
Noah, that is hilarious for one.
Would I tell him the true meaning?
Probably.
I probably would.
(35:30):
Or no, no, no, I would.
Jamie, you have to.
You have to.
You don't want the I'm amazed that a junior in high school doesn't, you know, you know,
a junior boy in high school doesn't.
Here's the thing.
He knows.
He definitely knows.
I think you might have this perception that he you know, he's an innocent kid.
(35:55):
He doesn't know what it means.
He definitely knows what it means.
Come like how he grew up on the Internet to his unfiltered access to the Internet.
Maybe this is like one of them.
One of them really religious people that don't have like like a smartphone.
He's still using a flip phone.
Yeah.
Look, look, your mom.
(36:17):
Realistically, how does his mom know?
He knows.
I feel like your mom should know.
But let's let's assume you live in some like real Bible Belt part of the world and there's
a chance they don't know.
He's going to find out.
And you know, got chalked that one up to the game.
(36:39):
He's going to be picking up some.
He's going to be picking up some ladies at Bible study.
That's what I'm saying.
And you know what?
He should wear that shirt.
And you know what?
He should bring a cream pie with him.
Yeah, bring one of them little debbies.
Eat it while like looking at looking at his girl.
This is this is I think we might be on here.
I think he's doing this as a way to pick up women.
(37:00):
I mean, what what's better than a guy just wearing that shirt?
He's leaning back, eating his little Debbie oatmeal dessert treat because I don't want
to say it for the ninth time.
He's like, she's like, oh, I love cream pies.
She's like, I do, too.
(37:21):
Hit him with a little hit him with a little mewing.
He's mewing hard while eating his oatmeal cream pie wearing his I love cream pie shirt.
Yeah, I like I hate everything about this question the more I think about it.
But yeah, he definitely knows.
And I don't know, maybe if you see him going to wear in the in the assumption that he doesn't
(37:44):
know if you see him going to wear it out in the town.
You're like, hey, little bro, we got a chit chat.
And then yeah, then we then you have that you got to have the birds and the bees talk
type deal.
You don't want to do that.
I don't think you want to do that.
You could get him.
OK, intern answer.
You could give him another shirt that says I love cream pies and have the little Debbie
(38:08):
like logo or say like I love little Debbie's cream.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Keep going though.
No, keep going.
No, I think I'm good.
No, I think I'm good there.
Oh, no, I know.
I think you I think you burn the shirt.
I think you burn the shirt in the night.
You burn the shirt in the night and you buy him like two boxes of little Debbie's just
(38:32):
to kind of make up for it.
Be like, hey, that shirt.
I'm sorry.
I was smoking the ganja lit the shirt on fire.
Yeah, here's two boxes of little Debbie's.
Sorry.
Look, what if you get the the same shirt, but instead of like the little Debbie's on
it, you change it to the other meaning and that and you wear that and you go.
(38:56):
So this is what your shirt actually means.
Wow.
All right.
That's how you and that's the easiest way.
And then, you know, if he's a kid who didn't really know, he'd be like, oh, my God.
Wow.
That's awesome.
Oh, dude, we're so I thought of that at the same time.
(39:20):
Wow.
That's great.
OK.
I'm wearing the shirt.
Oh, geez.
Oh, dude, I think we really botched that one.
I think we normally save the world.
I don't know about this one.
Yeah, I don't know.
But I think we might have that one up bad.
I'll just get to the next one.
Yeah.
Help.
(39:41):
I sent a gay Shrek porno to my 82 year old grandmother.
Dude, poor went out for this fallen soldier.
OK.
So basically that I think we're about to find out.
So basically 20 minutes ago, I was texting my girlfriend and she sent me one of those
copy pastas where it's a guy dancing, but it's made up of symbols.
(40:04):
I went on our copy pasta to try and find something funny to send back.
And I found the jackpot pot.
A gay, a gay fanfic of Shrek title Shrek is love.
Oh, yeah, of course.
This is a classic.
Everyone knows this one.
Quotes from this include he skewers me on his Shrock and begins using using my quotes.
(40:32):
Yeah, I'm I'm.
So I sent it to my unexpected to my unexpected girlfriend.
Fifteen minutes later, I checked and if there was a response.
But then I realized I hadn't sent it to my girlfriend.
I had sent it to my 82 year old grandmother for some unknown bewildering reason.
(40:53):
I don't have pictures or special names for anyone on my phone.
My grandma and my girlfriend's names start with the same two letters.
Her image of me is a nice, smart, handsome young man.
And I just sent her a gay Shrek porno.
Help me.
I don't know what to do.
And she hasn't opened it yet.
(41:15):
I don't know what to do.
Please help.
Jamie, what do we do?
I think this is the same advice as the last question.
She's already seen it.
No, I think this is one of those you reap what you sell.
You did this to you.
(41:35):
Why were you sending this girlfriend?
You kidding me?
You're sending Shrek, gay Shrek porn to your girlfriend.
You're sending Shrek erotica around.
You deserve everything coming to you.
Your grandmother's never going to look at you the same.
She's not.
You had it coming.
You're out of the well.
You had it coming like Shrek and that gay porno.
(41:58):
You're long out of that well now, buddy.
Sorry.
This is the problem with men these days.
They're always sending gay Shrek porn to their girlfriends.
(42:18):
Me?
I send flowers.
I send good morning, good night.
I send an edible arrangement just to let my friends know I care.
And you're talking about your Shrek?
Buddy I got some news for you.
(42:39):
You're about a month, two months away from ending up like the first question, a month
of no contact and you want to get back together.
It ain't happening.
She's already texted new dudes.
Brutal, brutal.
So what's our advice?
I don't know.
(43:00):
Your advice is our advice is probably you lost and you just got to, I don't know, have
a conversation with grandma.
82 years old means you were born in like the 50s?
Yeah.
Your grandma doesn't know how to use her phone.
You're good.
You're probably fine.
The text is going to be too big.
It's going to be too much scrolling.
She's not going to be able to read it all.
She's going to give up after like the first Shrek.
(43:24):
You're fine.
So congratulations.
You're good.
All right, Noah, this is the last one of the episode.
Boyfriend still lives with his ex.
It's a little bit of a wordy one.
So hang on, hang with me there.
My partner and I have been together almost two years, but since we've been together,
he's been living in a two bedroom suite with his ex.
(43:45):
She now has a partner of her own.
I've never really been okay with it, but I'm someone who tries to be understanding and
compassionate.
So I've been letting it slide for now.
Last year I tried helping him find a new place, but his excuses were always like, I don't
like the look of that place or it's not as secure as my current one.
(44:05):
He needs a special security for his work truck.
I brushed it off because he had a lot going on with his mom passing last year, but now
it's getting harder for me to keep ignoring how uncomfortable I feel with the situation.
One thing that really bothers me is that his ex walks around in see-through clothes like
short shorts and a tank top in front of my partner.
(44:26):
It's especially awkward when I'm there.
I get that they were together before, but it feels disrespectful to me.
We talked recently about him moving out and he said the earliest he could leave is July
because he has to help with his landlord's daughter's wedding, who's like family to
him.
Additionally, he wants to pay off some of his debt first, et cetera, et cetera.
(44:48):
I don't know if I can wait till July.
I love this man so much and I want to spend my life with him, but I'm not sure how much
longer I can deal with this.
What should I do?
Well, how do we put this?
How do we?
Wait, what do you think?
I don't think he's sleeping with her.
You think he's still sleeping with the ex?
(45:10):
Yeah, no, he's sleeping.
Hey, let's go back to the guy from the first question, not the girl, but the person who
she was writing in about.
Dude, there's always a chance.
There is always a chance.
They are 100% still sleeping together.
No, no.
He re-upped on the lease with this girl.
(45:30):
Did they say he re-upped?
If he re-upped, that would probably be cute.
They've been together for two years.
They're finishing the...
I don't know exactly when this was written.
But the new girl has a boyfriend.
You think she...
That doesn't mean nothing.
It is kind of weird.
So if I was in this situation, you know what?
(45:51):
If I dated a girl who was living with her ex, one, I probably wouldn't have started
dating him.
Just full stop.
That'd probably be a red flag.
Full stop.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
I think you kind of put yourself in a little bit of a pickle here because you got into
this relationship knowing he lived with this ex and knowing that this would probably be
(46:11):
a problem down the road.
I would assume you probably thought he would just move out.
But the fact that he's been so reluctant to move out would definitely be a reason to...
I don't want to say give an ultimatum, but give an ultimatum.
Yeah, give an ultimatum.
Give the ultimatum.
(46:32):
Maybe offer to help.
He says pay off his debt first.
Maybe if it's a place you guys are getting together, you could do the full down payment
if you have that type of money rolling around and you could be like, well, the first month
I'm doing down payment will be good.
You have that additional month to transition, figure things out.
(46:53):
It sounds like it's a bit of a money play and maybe that just means that maybe you have
to step up a little and I don't know.
Money's money.
People come back, if you really love them, it might be worth maybe working a little OT
to get a little money in the bank to help them out, to get them out of that situation.
And if it makes a relationship stronger in the long run.
Here's the thing to me.
(47:15):
When they started dating that he was living with his ex, all right, sure, fine, whatever.
And then he re-upped on that at least.
So it's like, which is crazy.
I understand if that happened for me, if my partner was living with her ex and then they
re-upped, I would be like, no, that's crazy.
(47:37):
I give him a little bit of a break because his mom passed.
Maybe it was just like everything was so stressful.
It's easier to just stay put even though it's an awkward situation.
But now you're coming to the point where it's like, we're going to re-up again.
And he's like, oh, he's dragging his feet on it now.
(47:57):
Oh, well, I have to help with my landlord's daughter's wedding.
Okay, well, what does that have anything to do with you living in the house?
How about you help with the wedding by letting the landlord make a little more money by finding
a new tenant?
And it seems like he's now making just a bunch of excuses.
(48:20):
And judging by the way, I think at best, I think his ex-girlfriend's up to something
a little manipulative here because she's wearing scandalous stuff.
Yeah, I didn't even address that.
That's insane.
It is disrespectful to you.
100%.
She sucks.
(48:40):
But even assuming the best of they're not sleeping together, which they probably are,
I think you got to like, there's something you don't know.
This is a weird situation.
I wouldn't rush into moving in with this guy because I don't trust what's going on here.
(49:01):
Something stinks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Our good advice is ultimatum.
And you know what?
It's toxic.
It's not great.
But if you approach it nicely and maybe you can offer a little financial help because
it sounds like that might be a little bit of a problem, that would be great.
(49:22):
If you offer the ultimatum and said, I don't know, if you can come up with a grand and
be like, this can go towards the down payment of our next place and that'll help you out
and it'll help you with your debt, that'd be great.
And you guys would move on.
Okay.
Intern advice.
Give them the intern advice.
What do we got, Jamie?
Intern advice has to be how do you find out if he's cheating or not?
(49:44):
Ah, it would be it would be camera in the house.
It'd be camera next time you go over, maybe put it on the maybe maybe sneaky, sneak a little
camera in the in the old room.
Yeah.
A little spy camera action.
You could do that.
I want to be very clear.
This is intern advice.
I would never in my life recommend installing cameras.
(50:07):
Yeah.
They are not allowed.
You know, I think we should stay away from this one altogether.
I think we should just be clear what kind of advice you're getting when you write in.
You're getting advice from two people that are saying to put a camera in the in the unknowingly
put a camera in the home of the person you trust most on this earth.
So you know, I think that's a good place to wrap this one up, Jamie.
(50:33):
There's got to be something better than camera, right?
I do.
I better than camera.
Keep with the girl walking around.
You start walking around.
You arrive to his house in scantily clad clothing when you know the girl and her boyfriend,
his ex and the new boyfriend are there.
(50:55):
So then you kind of return that favor on comfortableness.
Hmm.
Well, we'll see through clothing.
Yeah.
No, it could.
It could work.
It could work.
It could make them uncomfortable.
And maybe it's just kind of and then maybe she'll kick him out.
This is true.
Or sleep with his dad.
Always, always on the table with the interns.
(51:17):
Always awesome.
No, you got anything to plug?
Uh, I don't think I really do.
Just check out my YouTube over at a big blue bug gaming.
Oh, I do have something to plug here on this channel.
We dropped a edited video on this channel of us reacting to some great alpha male content.
It's hilarious.
It's funny.
(51:37):
It's edited.
It's the lunch break.
It's the lunch break.
That is the name of the segment.
We are calling it the lunch break.
Yeah.
So please go check that out.
It's a good half an hour, 25 minutes.
25 minutes.
Yeah.
It's live on the channel now.
Nice fun half hour.
You'll enjoy it for your lunch.
And there's more of those to come as we kind of iterate on it in the future.
(52:00):
For me, I got nothing to promote.
There's not going to be a video out for a couple.
I would be shocked if there's a video out by the time this I'm a little bit in the lab
right now.
I'm not ready to put something out, but I'm cooking.
I'm chefing.
So stay tuned.
Maybe just follow me on Instagram or something else.
(52:21):
I don't know.
Figure it out.
Cool.
That's it.
That's it.
Thank you guys so much for watching.
Make sure you like, comment, and subscribe and give us a rate if the platform has a place
where you can give us five stars.
And we'll see you all in that next episode.
Bye.
Bye.
Yeah, I mean, that's why I don't even go on boats anymore.
(00:10):
Anyways, let's do this podcast.
Hey guys, welcome back to the Professional Interns Podcast.
It's a podcast where two friends give comedy advice or sometimes just me and Noah.
Noah?
You know, sometimes we're friends, sometimes we're giving advice.
It really could go any way there.
How have you been, Jamie?
(00:31):
I have been delightful.
I think at the top of the hour, we should own up to something though.
It was Noah's fault we didn't upload last week.
He got lost at sea.
I had to go find him and I'm not that good of a swimmer.
Okay?
I had nothing to do with me.
I think schedules didn't line up.
You know, you'd be surprised to hear that the professional interns actually work a little
(00:54):
bit outside of the podcast.
And sometimes things just don't line up great.
I think we're using this week to get a head start.
We're going to be two podcasts out now, just in case.
Just in case.
It won't happen again.
Hey, it's the learning.
Don't say it won't happen again.
It will happen again.
(01:15):
But hopefully we get another 10 episodes before it happens again.
Growing pains?
I was going to say learning steps and that's not a thing.
It's learning steps.
Yeah, we were supposed to record on the weekend and I know you went to a wedding over the
weekend, which I'll let you talk about, but I looked at your story and I was going to
(01:38):
reach out to you and be like, hey, we're going to film the podcast.
And we were supposed to film on Sunday.
And then on Sunday I woke up in the morning, looked through your story from the night before.
I'm like, he's not filming today.
I didn't even reach out.
Nope.
So whenever I go to a wedding, I have a couple of rules.
One, I'm at the point in my life, always a hotel.
I'm always doing a hotel.
(01:59):
I'm not trying to drive home after a wedding or I'm not trying to Uber home.
I live in the middle of the boonies.
There's really no Ubering here.
So I don't want to have to pace myself to drive at the end of night.
So now a hundred percent hotel.
And you know, if I do a hotel, I got to be laying in that bed like passed out, like I
went way too hard.
Open bar, I enjoyed myself.
(02:21):
There's no other way to do a wedding.
Just, you know, drinking, having a good time.
Jamie, you're going to my wedding.
Are you excited for that?
Dude, is it an open bar?
Do we know?
Oh, my wedding?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's the night.
It's the night you'll never forget.
And the night that I won't remember.
(02:44):
I've been trying to think about signature drinks for the two.
So I have a cat and a dog.
I have the new fee and an orange cat.
I've been trying to think about signature drinks for them.
Orange cat.
I'm thinking I'm thinking something, some sort of cider cocktail for the orange cat.
I don't know what it is yet.
I know they exist.
That's what I'm thinking.
And for the for the new for the new fee, black dog, I'm thinking something probably with
(03:08):
a little charcoal in it to make it black.
I just don't know what it is yet.
I don't know if you got any ideas.
Do you hear me out?
This is the first time I've heard of this.
By the way, this is sounds very cute.
I love it.
And I'm going to ruin I'm giving you the intern advice, baby.
Orange for your cat.
(03:30):
Maybe a little a little mimosa.
What's wrong with the mimosa?
Late in the night, I'll drink it.
This is the real advice.
OK, OK.
For the for your dog.
I mean, straight whiskey.
Cut it with nothing.
It's it burns and it's not in a little whiskey glass.
(03:53):
You're getting like a glass.
You're getting a real glass.
A tall it's a tall 12 ounce of whiskey.
You know, Lucy will put you on your feet when you're not expecting it, but with her weight
and that thing will put you on your feet when you're not expecting it with its weight.
So you know what?
Maybe the tall glass of whiskey.
You might have something there.
(04:14):
I don't know if the fiance is going to bite, but I will pitch it.
Yeah.
You got to fight for this.
You got to be this might be this is the hill I'll die on.
No, this is this is a hill.
You'll pitch a tent on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I won't die in the cell, but I will pitch a tent.
There it is.
That might be one of the podcast all time bangers.
We are not in this.
I will say your dog does not or your dog does very evidently look like she would put you
(04:41):
on your ass.
I'm not going to I'm not going to edit in a picture of her.
If you want to see a picture of her, you got to go to know his Instagram.
Look at that.
No plug in the top of the hour.
Plug it.
No, no underscore.
Corona underscore.
Go find it.
There's plenty of it.
There's plenty of photos of little Lucy.
Not so little hundred pound new fee.
She's a great girl, but she you know, I walk her and every time I walk her, I walk the
(05:07):
same path every day on lunch.
I'm doxing myself here.
Hope to see you guys on the path.
Check me out on the path, guys.
The address is a walk the same path every day on lunch.
And I always run into this little old lady who walks with their two unleashed little
yappy dogs.
And every time she's surprised to see me, every time I turn around the corner with the
(05:32):
new found that she kind of like scurries over it and like kind of tries to grab her dogs.
And Lucy, she's nice.
She doesn't really care.
She just kind of walks by him.
And every time she like goes, oh, big dog.
I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And every single time without like missing, I turn the corner and I see her and her two
little dogs can running up and she goes, oh, big dog.
(05:53):
And then picks up her dogs and just keeps going.
I'm like, you see this dog every day.
I know I am.
She's saying it to me.
She's like, oh, big dog, dog.
She goes fist pump after.
I'm like, yeah, big dog.
B-A-W-G, big dog.
(06:13):
Dude, I love running into little, I love running into like people that are like NPCs, but like
regular NPCs in real life.
There's a guy at the gym I go to who I've seen, like I've been to this gym on and off
over the past probably seven years.
I've seen this guy there from the jump.
(06:35):
The entire time in my life that I've been going to the gym, there's this older gentleman.
He's this bald black guy with like a mean mustache, almost like a Steve Harvey mustache.
And he's just handling business.
I don't know.
He always has a duffel bag with him.
I never see him doing anything, but he's always got a duffel bag in the sweat towel.
(06:56):
So he's got to be putting in work.
Maybe he's just hanging out.
I have an NPC.
So other than the one old lady I see on the walk, I got one more NPC.
It's another dude on the walk.
This dude is there.
He's punctual.
Every day at 12, he does.
So it's like, I don't know, it's like a mile road.
And he does the lap twice and he keeps his head down.
(07:16):
He doesn't wave to me.
He doesn't acknowledge me when I walk by.
And he's probably like six, four and just like maybe like late fifties.
He's just a big muscular guy.
And he literally just the whole time just head down, no headphones.
He's raw dog and it doesn't look up to even acknowledge me.
And he just guns past and I'll walk past this dude four times in a week.
(07:39):
Maybe more because he's doing it twice and he speed walks.
Doesn't even, I don't even think he knows I'm there.
This dude just head down.
He's staring bullets at the ground trying to avoid eye contact.
But he knows you're there.
He doesn't like the dog.
He doesn't like the new fees.
(08:00):
Every single day I see him and he's like, he's a big dude.
And I'm like, this dude could probably kick my butt if he tried.
And lose.
He could take his bolt out.
But he does not.
He's a man on a mission.
He wants to get his midday walk in and this is probably his one chance to get away from
the old ball and chain at home.
And he works his walk.
(08:21):
Noah's like, yeah, this guy walks like he hates his wife.
The way he's walking.
I know that stride.
I can see that stride from a mile away.
That guy walks just like my dad.
(08:44):
Hates his wife.
I don't know, man.
Oh my goodness.
Dude, this is a segue.
Walking.
I walked a lot this weekend because I went to New York City, baby.
The Big Apple.
So when you say New York City, were you in like that big Apple square?
(09:05):
New York City is big.
There's a lot.
Big Apple.
Times Square.
Did you pay congestion fees?
Are those still going on?
Did you drive?
I did not drive.
I took the train in.
Oh, OK.
Well, then you would.
Because I'm a public transit commie.
Love me.
(09:27):
Train ride in was lovely.
Jamie, our friendly socialist here.
I love the train from Boston to New York bullet train.
Dude, I'm a big public transit guy.
I love me a good shared rail network.
It was nice because I don't like having to deal with having a car.
Like I like the light respect at my house in my in the burbs.
(09:51):
I enjoy having a car.
I don't like carrying my grocery.
I don't want to walk from the grocery store to my house.
Sure.
But like I don't want to New York City's made for walking.
I don't want to rent a parking spot for 90 dollars for two days.
So yeah, I took the train and I was I was stepping all over the place.
It was kind of lovely.
(10:12):
I was in that way.
I was in the congestion pricing area because I was in like Manhattan and like that downtown.
I was in like Soho, which I learned where that is.
That's where I was.
So so hipster of you spending time in Soho.
Thank you for your weekend.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
(10:32):
I went I also very hipster of me went to a gluten free restaurant.
Wow.
Well, that my girlfriend, my girlfriend, I was going to say.
So I've been to quite a few gluten free restaurants.
But no, yes, I was in I was in that congestion pricing zone.
I think it's still going on because there was not that much traffic and it was lovely
because of that.
(10:53):
It was I was crossing the street whimsically.
Hmm.
Yeah, I almost get hit by a taxi.
It's a view.
It's a beautiful.
It's a beautiful thing.
It was I feel like I'm going to give you a little bit of a bone.
I got to pick congestion pricing.
I think it makes sense.
I don't think New York has good public transit that facilitates congestion pricing as of
(11:17):
now.
I think maybe if they keep it going and they use that money to build up their public transit
better, I think it might be better.
But I feel like right now I do not.
I think New York I also haven't lived in New York City.
I also haven't lived in New York City.
So maybe I'm wrong.
To be fair, I don't know about those commuter lines like like how well they are.
(11:38):
I'm sure the people on the commuter lines got a bone to pick.
But I will say out of any city in the U.S., New York City is the best.
But it's also has a good Boston is the worst.
Really?
I could go to I could go on such a tangent about this, but I'm not going to.
I watch too many of those logistic YouTube videos.
(12:00):
I know I'll give you the skinny of it.
I'll give you a shirt.
Give me the because I lived in Paris.
Paris is a great public transit network.
What you want is like a circle.
It's like called a ring road.
You want things to kind of go around because if you're like you want things to kind of
go around and intertwine like a mesh almost rather than just through the center and out
(12:22):
because it makes sense to go through the center.
But like if you were on the edge of it and you're trying to go like on the edge, then
you have to go all the way to the middle and out.
I'm doing probably a pretty bad job for audio listeners.
There's a really great video out there, I think by Wendover.
Ah, you love Wendover.
What's their platform?
(12:44):
You are a strong advocate for what is their streaming platform for Nebula.
That's why I was in the city.
I was watching.
Oh, you that is why you were there, right?
I was watching the premiere of their show Jetlag, which is dope.
It was a good fun time.
It was a little weird because because we were in like they rented out a theater and I think
(13:08):
it might be a known theater.
I didn't think it was, but I heard someone mention on podcast the Angelica Theater.
Not sure if that rings a bell to anyone.
But yeah, so we were there.
They rented out a theater and then they played the first episode of the show, did like a
podcast Q&A at the end of it.
It was real cool.
Tom Scott was there.
(13:28):
You know, Tom Scott.
I know Tom Scott.
Yep.
Dude, so cool that you got to talk to Tom Scott for a second.
It is so weird, though, to meet these people in real life.
Like because I've only ever seen them on a screen.
I only know them as like the character in the show and whatnot.
(13:49):
And I understand parasocially like they are a human behind that, right?
But like sure, I've never had to think like, oh, how tall is this person in relation to
me?
Like if I stood next to them, am I looking up at them?
Am I looking down at them?
And so I had to confront that this weekend.
And it's very weird.
And were you looking up at them?
(14:09):
Some.
Some I was looking most I was looking up at.
Some I was looking at.
I'm not a very I'm not considerably a tall guy.
I think I'm pretty average height.
I don't think I've ever.
OK, so back back when Josh, you know, my twin brother did YouTube in our one and only podcast
guest.
(14:29):
Give it up.
Give it up.
Give it up.
And we went to Pax East and we got to go to like one of like the events with like all
the streamers and stuff.
And I'm realizing we're not tall people.
Josh and I were what we're six one.
We're six feet, six one on a good day.
OK, OK.
(14:50):
But like we're not tall people.
We're not taller than the average person.
We're not like massive.
But like at these streamer events, we're massive.
You look around, maybe it's just a gaming space thing, but people are short.
People are short.
And I don't feel like I don't know.
I don't feel like I'm that tall.
Like I meet people taller than me all the time.
(15:11):
But but a freaking Pax East.
Oh, we're tall.
Yeah.
No, you're I describe you as average tall, like you are a taller person, but you're an
average taller person.
That's fair.
Whereas me, I think I'm basically Victor Wemba Nyama.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely the league, baby.
(15:32):
One of my one of my friends was on dating apps and we would go on double dates very
often.
And he always said he was six feet and a little bit I would do to him as someone who's six
one.
And he was probably like five, ten, maybe five, eleven.
I would go and they would be like, oh, it's nice to meet you.
(15:52):
I'd be like, yeah, I'm five eleven.
I'd be literally like three inches taller than people don't.
When you just start chucking out heights, nobody like actually like has a point of reference.
So then they would look at him and just in their head, they'd be like, oh, he's really
short.
My buddy who's actually five eleven and I have like three inches on him.
And I'd be like, yeah, I'm five eleven or just I'm just barely six feet.
(16:17):
And then my buddy be like, I'm six feet.
And like so clearly looking at each other, looking at us next to each other.
He looked tiny.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it was just a running bit we would do.
And he hated every time I do it when we're like at a bar or something.
He just think he would just shake his head and like just not acknowledge it.
I'd be like, give him a little side eye to like him and his date.
(16:44):
This guy, did he lie about his height on the app?
I think we're going to go.
Is Paxi the only one of those streamer events you've been to?
Or like we'll call it Internet events.
Yeah.
(17:04):
Oh, no, I went to EA Play, which Josh also got invited to in L.A. and we were like right
out to L.A. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Josh got Josh was Josh was paid for all of Josh was.
They covered Josh's stuff.
They covered him in one guest, which was his which was his now fiance girlfriend back then.
(17:28):
And then they gave him a room with two beds.
And you know who got the other bed?
So I so I they did give me like passes and stuff.
I got to meet all the meat at that time.
It was mostly Simmers.
So we got to meet like, I don't know, I do not recognize any of the names, maybe viewers
would we met like James Turner and Vixella and Little Sims.
(17:51):
I think it's like the really big one.
All I'll be honest.
You meet these people.
Very nice people.
Everyone was so cool, except for one dude who played to K. I could not tell you his
name, but I remember talking to him.
I was like, this dude's an ass.
I remember talking to him and the dude was like, like very much aware he was one of the
(18:12):
bigger content creators there and made sure everyone knew he was one of the bigger content
creators there.
But I could not.
It was like, oh, it wasn't to K. It was FIFA because it was.
But like it was such a weird niche space that I personally know nothing about.
I don't even know if I could tell you what he looked like if you showed me a picture
of him right now.
But I remember talking to him.
I was just like, this dude kind of sucks.
(18:33):
I was like, I'm not talking to him anymore.
This dude blokes.
What the hell?
Go open some packs.
What are you talking to me about?
Did you know who these people were beforehand or now?
The simmers, yeah, because Josh was a Josh got flown up because he was a simmer.
So like I knew of them.
Like I mutually followed a couple of them on like Instagram and stuff like so.
(18:54):
I don't think I ever had like conversations with them before then.
But like I've had conversations since with a couple of them.
And most of them were honestly all the simmers, at least the people who we mostly hung out
with really nice people.
Really all of them were very down to earth.
That's the same for the one FIFA guy I talked to.
You know what?
Yeah, moral of the story.
Fuck that FIFA guy.
(19:14):
What the fuck?
Don't talk to the FIFA guys.
That's what I'm saying.
Isn't it?
It's it's just I think this is the first time that I've actually it's happened to me before
because I used to be really big into eSports and I went into like a lot of eSport events
and I met the players.
But I think it felt a bit like I'm older now.
(19:35):
It's just really weird seeing these people in person.
It's also I don't know if I think this might be a little bit of a mindset thing.
It's also weird meeting them as a fan, but like feeling like a content creator myself
and unsuccessful.
I don't know.
Success is variable.
But like a small, small because I don't want to say unsuccessful because like I have seven
(20:01):
case subs and there's a dude probably grind now with one case subs who's like, sure, dude,
I'd kill for that.
So there's always someone.
Yeah, I get what you're saying.
But like, yeah, it's weird to be like, oh, I'm trying to be a part of the space that
you're a part of.
Like, what's the like, I guess the difference is like, whether you're successful or not
(20:23):
in that.
Are we getting philosophical here?
Maybe a little, but I feel like it depends on how you look at it.
But I feel like you know what I found weird when I met these people is that they were
all my age.
And I was like, that is well.
And the thing was, I guess, I don't know, maybe YouTube is paying them better than I
expected.
But like, they weren't like massive, like 100k.
(20:43):
Like, I'll be honest, somebody got 100k might not be making a living off YouTube alone.
And like, I didn't feel like they were significantly more successful than me.
But they were more successful in this space.
But it was like weird being like, that person's my age.
And they did this with their life.
And I'm doing this.
Like at the time, I was like, almost done with college.
But I was just like, it's interesting seeing like, I don't know, the different routes and
(21:06):
what people take and then meeting people and then realizing they're mostly normal people
that are just, I feel like if you met, I don't know, celebrities, you'd probably find a lot
of them to be relatively normal.
A lot of them.
I'm not going to say all of them.
But yeah, yeah, I think this is something I've thought about, like, kind of a lot.
Dude, this is the deepest episode we may have ever had.
(21:29):
But I've had this thought before because when I got to the age where it was like people
in the NFL and like upcoming sports stars were my age or younger than me, I was like,
dude, what am I doing?
I'm one year out of college.
Probably like right when we had met when I was working at marketing agency, I'm an intern
(21:51):
at a marketing agency.
I'm like, what am I, like this guy is making millions of dollars.
But like, I think the thing you don't see is A, you never hear about the person who
failed in that pursuit.
Like you only hear the winners.
And then B, like, you don't see what happens behind closed doors on that.
Like, I might be sitting here like pining, not pining, that's the wrong term, but like
(22:15):
wishing I had the, like a life like that, where they might be like, oh, like, I wish
I had that college memory where you sat on a roof at one in the morning with your buddies
drinking beers.
Yeah.
I feel like what I think about a lot is just like that space of like how people get to
(22:41):
where they are and like what that looks like, like individually.
And I just think it's really interesting to see, you know, people find success in all
their own unique ways.
And I think it's really interesting to find celebrities in really niche spaces.
Like when you meet, like, I'm trying to think of, I guess the FIFA guy would be a good example.
(23:06):
That dude had like millions, millions doing FIFA pack openings and I couldn't pick them
out of a lineup.
And this probably freaking, he probably put up, you know, a million views a day.
And I'm like, I don't know who the hell you are.
And then to take that to heart and then act shitty about it.
Yeah, that's crazy.
(23:27):
I thought I actually had a thought like this when I was at my event, like over the weekend,
it actually wasn't even over the weekend.
It was a premiere on a Thursday night, which is kind of crazy.
But the I was thinking like they're they just rented out one theater.
There's like seven theaters there.
So there was still normal moviegoers just kind of walking in doing whatever they're
(23:47):
doing.
And so those people were like, who the hell are these random ass people?
So like, why are people taking pictures with these nerds and that old guy?
I'm like, that's Tom Scott.
Show some damn respect.
You haven't seen him on TikTok.
He's everywhere.
He's got I'm in a well.
I'm in a submarine.
(24:09):
Yeah, it's just like you can matter to people.
I got recognized when I had two K or like one K or two K subs on my gaming channel and
I was like 17 and I went to a gaming event and like I was probably 16.
And someone was like, oh my God, you're I'm not going to say actually waiting.
(24:30):
It's already in here.
I'm not going to say it.
I'm not going to say it.
My gaming channel is going to keep it a little bit close to the chest.
Sure.
But they're like, you're him.
And I was like, yeah.
But like I was so there in a fan mindset.
So it's very weird to be recognized.
I was like.
What are we doing?
But hey, you know, one day somebody might be like, hey, you're the you're the guy from
professional interns.
(24:51):
I'll be like, what is up, YouTube?
If one of our eight listeners says that, hey, that would be big.
We get more than I.
We got more listen.
I've got more listeners on the personals.
Let's be honest.
And the purpose on the part that our personal our own our own YouTube channels.
Oh, I would.
More importantly, my name is Big Blue Bug.
(25:12):
I'm waiting for the for the DM for the DMCA with Epi.
Well, no, it's a copyright strike.
You're thinking of a cease and desist.
I'm waiting for the cease and desist.
The cease and desist.
The cease and desist from from the big blue company themselves.
(25:33):
I don't know.
I don't I don't know if I got a leg to stand on here.
Feels like we're in different industries, but if you don't know, my name is Big Blue
Bug and I'm named after like the Rhode Island.
Like there's a big paper mache big blue bug on the highway.
And it was like in Dumb and Dumber.
It was in a few others.
It was in Dumb and Dumber.
(25:54):
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, that was.
Yeah.
And I I'm I took that name and made myself Big Blue Bug Gaming and I'm waiting for the
pest removal company to send me the cease and desist.
They did quit doing that.
I'm probably cranking up their cranking up their cost per their cost per click on Google
(26:15):
with my.
I don't actually know if they could say anything to you.
We're in different industries.
I don't think it's I don't think it's copyrighted for other industries.
I think maybe if I sold merch or something, they'd be like, well, we want to sell Big
Blue Bug merch.
Do they even?
I don't know.
They might.
But as like a licenseable thing, I don't know.
(26:36):
I'm not too sure.
The only merch I sell is I hate Big Blue Bug Big Blue Bug Gaming merch available.
I hate Big Blue Bug Gaming Dotcom.
Did you you end up making that site?
No, I never made that site.
No.
Oh, you just ordered the merch.
I do.
I have this stuff to make shirts.
So I made one of it's a one of one.
(26:56):
It's in my closet.
I pull it out.
But I'm in the office so I can't.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
All right.
What do you say we jump in some questions here?
Yeah.
Yeah, let's do it.
Let's do it.
All right.
It is time for the intern inbox questions.
(27:18):
And if you want your questions answered on the next podcast, please write into professional
interns podcast at GMO dot com with your questions or things you might need advice on.
So save your life.
We'll save the will.
We will save your life.
For the first question we got, my ex wants to talk about moving on.
I'm about to talk with my ex tonight.
(27:38):
For context, we broke up a few months ago and after being no contact for about a month,
we agreed to still be friends.
Everything has been smooth sailing until I mentioned last night that I started talking
to another guy, but it ultimately didn't work out after about a week of talking.
He got upset and said that our relationship must mean nothing if I could move on.
(28:00):
I told him that I put myself out there only once and it didn't work.
Also, agreeing I wasn't entirely ready.
He wants to talk tonight and I'm very anxious.
What else can I say for him to see my side?
Did I mess up by starting to meet new people so soon?
(28:21):
Well, I think what's really important to note for you and I is that they are friends.
So thankfully, nobody else can manage to be friends as exes, but the two of them, they
did it.
They pulled it off.
Dude, I don't know why everyone tries to be friends with their exes.
(28:42):
I'm going to, guilty as charged, I've tried it before.
Doesn't work out.
I feel like clean breaks are hard, but I think that's probably your...it's your best bet
to go for the clean break.
Everyone wants to go back for a little bit of that forbidden fruit, but it's probably
just better you get out of there.
(29:05):
And honestly, it's like you should pretend you got no contact order for at least a couple
months and I think that might help you reset your headspace.
Yeah.
Look, we're going to give you the real advice before the intern advice.
You're not going to be the only person that pulls it off, the guy who manages to stay
(29:26):
friends with their ex.
It's actually, I think this is the girl, the only girl who stays friends with their ex.
It's not going to happen.
He still wants to be together.
Who broke up with whom?
Did they say that?
For context, we broke a few months ago.
No, nope.
Doesn't say they just had no contact for about a month.
(29:47):
Month too short?
Extend that.
Yeah.
Let's be honest here.
He probably is still hoping to get back together.
It sounds like you broke up with him.
And so it's like you have to be a younger person just kind of judging by this.
Just move on.
You're going to learn from this.
(30:08):
There's a line from a song I really like that's people are only in your life for seasons.
Sometimes that's just how it is.
Sometimes people are only around for a little bit of time and it sucks when anything like
that ends, but you got to just enjoy the time.
All right.
I think we solved that.
So let's give them the intern advice now, Noah.
(30:31):
You know, the intern advice, keep sleeping together, enjoy sleeping together, find someone
else and then just get out of there.
The second you find something a little bit more serious and just pretend like, I don't
know, they didn't exist.
That's crazy.
You said intern advice, Jamie.
Okay, give your advice.
What's your crazy advice?
(30:52):
Sleep with the dad?
What do you think?
Look, look, she says he wants to talk tonight and she's very anxious.
What can I say for him to see my side?
I love you.
Three very strong words.
Just drop it.
Just say it again.
(31:13):
It depends on the guy.
There's a certain type of guy where if you just threw something like that at him, they
go, well, I wasn't saying all that.
Like what would, what could you say?
You could say a few things.
Does he have a brother?
Be like, I'm just more into your brother.
I feel like that would kill it on spot.
That ruin it.
(31:33):
You'd be done.
You'd be out.
You'd be good.
Be clear.
Chalk clear.
I'd say you could be like, oh, I only like girls.
I think, or I think I like girls, but I think he'll take that as a challenge.
I'll be the one.
It's like that episode of Jersey Shore where Pauly D sleeps with two lesbians.
(31:55):
Hell of an episode.
Dude, Jersey Shore was before it's time.
If Jersey Shore came out today.
It was perfectly timed.
No, no, no.
Bring it back.
I want Jersey Shore back right now.
Okay.
You want to know the issue?
No, it was in its time.
Because if it was now, there'd be way more drama about weird things that don't matter.
(32:18):
It would ruin the vibe.
It would be like Jersey Shore Island.
Jersey Shore Island.
We bring in one of their hot exes every episode.
Yeah, for real.
Yeah, I don't know.
I think all in all, YouTube broke up for a reason.
(32:39):
I think just call it quits.
It doesn't seem like you want it to be back.
He's real upset that you started seeing someone else.
I mean, actually, we should say, I mean, it is, I do feel like it was a little fast for
you to move on.
If it what?
Like if you guys were broken up for a month.
I don't know.
(33:00):
It doesn't say how long you were together.
Yeah, how long were you together does matter.
If you moved on after a month, like I guess it, yeah, we don't fully know.
There's some timeline stuff here.
I think long story short, you're on the right.
He's being a weirdo.
You just got to go back to being no contact.
You're not going to be friends.
(33:20):
If they're possessive now, they'll be possessive about you in a year.
Like it'd probably be easier just not to communicate and they will hopefully catch the hint and
you can both move on.
And then, you know, if maybe in a few years, I would give it years based on the one month
not working, give it years.
And maybe if you run into each other at a coffee shop, you could fall back in love madly
(33:41):
over a nice cappuccino.
It could be this great love story.
But right now that love story ain't happens.
Get out of there.
Quit talking to him.
Yeah.
I mean, like, look, people do get back together.
It's happened in every Hallmark movie I've ever seen.
So there's a chance.
And Jamie's seen a lot of those.
I've seen a good amount.
I've seen a lot of bad movies.
(34:01):
I've seen I've seen quite a few of them.
But yeah, it's and it's probably as much for his benefit as it is yours.
Like it sounds like you both need to grow as people.
And this is one of the ways that people grow.
All right, Noah, killed that one.
We fucking nailed that shit.
Let's do next one.
All right.
(34:22):
Our next question.
Do I tell my little brother what his quote, I love cream pies shirt really means?
My younger brother is a junior in high school, great grades, involved with his church, upstanding
kid kid.
One of his favorite snack foods are Little Debbie oatmeal cream pies.
My mom knows this and got him a shirt that reads I love cream pies for Christmas.
(34:47):
Being on the Internet too much, I know what a cream pie is.
However, my mom and my little brother have no idea what that means.
I am pretty sure it's one of those dirty shirts that's pretending to be innocent.
But my poor family is too innocent to realize.
I would hate for my little brother to be made fun of by his friends or for my family to
scandalize their local church group.
(35:09):
On the other hand, I would hate to ruin his Christmas by pointing this out.
Do I tell my little brother the true meaning behind his shirt?
Noah, that is hilarious for one.
Would I tell him the true meaning?
Probably.
I probably would.
(35:30):
Or no, no, no, I would.
Jamie, you have to.
You have to.
You don't want the I'm amazed that a junior in high school doesn't, you know, you know,
a junior boy in high school doesn't.
Here's the thing.
He knows.
He definitely knows.
I think you might have this perception that he you know, he's an innocent kid.
(35:55):
He doesn't know what it means.
He definitely knows what it means.
Come like how he grew up on the Internet to his unfiltered access to the Internet.
Maybe this is like one of them.
One of them really religious people that don't have like like a smartphone.
He's still using a flip phone.
Yeah.
Look, look, your mom.
(36:17):
Realistically, how does his mom know?
He knows.
I feel like your mom should know.
But let's let's assume you live in some like real Bible Belt part of the world and there's
a chance they don't know.
He's going to find out.
And you know, got chalked that one up to the game.
(36:39):
He's going to be picking up some.
He's going to be picking up some ladies at Bible study.
That's what I'm saying.
And you know what?
He should wear that shirt.
And you know what?
He should bring a cream pie with him.
Yeah, bring one of them little debbies.
Eat it while like looking at looking at his girl.
This is this is I think we might be on here.
I think he's doing this as a way to pick up women.
(37:00):
I mean, what what's better than a guy just wearing that shirt?
He's leaning back, eating his little Debbie oatmeal dessert treat because I don't want
to say it for the ninth time.
He's like, she's like, oh, I love cream pies.
She's like, I do, too.
(37:21):
Hit him with a little hit him with a little mewing.
He's mewing hard while eating his oatmeal cream pie wearing his I love cream pie shirt.
Yeah, I like I hate everything about this question the more I think about it.
But yeah, he definitely knows.
And I don't know, maybe if you see him going to wear in the in the assumption that he doesn't
(37:44):
know if you see him going to wear it out in the town.
You're like, hey, little bro, we got a chit chat.
And then yeah, then we then you have that you got to have the birds and the bees talk
type deal.
You don't want to do that.
I don't think you want to do that.
You could get him.
OK, intern answer.
You could give him another shirt that says I love cream pies and have the little Debbie
(38:08):
like logo or say like I love little Debbie's cream.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Keep going though.
No, keep going.
No, I think I'm good.
No, I think I'm good there.
Oh, no, I know.
I think you I think you burn the shirt.
I think you burn the shirt in the night.
You burn the shirt in the night and you buy him like two boxes of little Debbie's just
(38:32):
to kind of make up for it.
Be like, hey, that shirt.
I'm sorry.
I was smoking the ganja lit the shirt on fire.
Yeah, here's two boxes of little Debbie's.
Sorry.
Look, what if you get the the same shirt, but instead of like the little Debbie's on
it, you change it to the other meaning and that and you wear that and you go.
(38:56):
So this is what your shirt actually means.
Wow.
All right.
That's how you and that's the easiest way.
And then, you know, if he's a kid who didn't really know, he'd be like, oh, my God.
Wow.
That's awesome.
Oh, dude, we're so I thought of that at the same time.
(39:20):
Wow.
That's great.
OK.
I'm wearing the shirt.
Oh, geez.
Oh, dude, I think we really botched that one.
I think we normally save the world.
I don't know about this one.
Yeah, I don't know.
But I think we might have that one up bad.
I'll just get to the next one.
Yeah.
Help.
(39:41):
I sent a gay Shrek porno to my 82 year old grandmother.
Dude, poor went out for this fallen soldier.
OK.
So basically that I think we're about to find out.
So basically 20 minutes ago, I was texting my girlfriend and she sent me one of those
copy pastas where it's a guy dancing, but it's made up of symbols.
(40:04):
I went on our copy pasta to try and find something funny to send back.
And I found the jackpot pot.
A gay, a gay fanfic of Shrek title Shrek is love.
Oh, yeah, of course.
This is a classic.
Everyone knows this one.
Quotes from this include he skewers me on his Shrock and begins using using my quotes.
(40:32):
Yeah, I'm I'm.
So I sent it to my unexpected to my unexpected girlfriend.
Fifteen minutes later, I checked and if there was a response.
But then I realized I hadn't sent it to my girlfriend.
I had sent it to my 82 year old grandmother for some unknown bewildering reason.
(40:53):
I don't have pictures or special names for anyone on my phone.
My grandma and my girlfriend's names start with the same two letters.
Her image of me is a nice, smart, handsome young man.
And I just sent her a gay Shrek porno.
Help me.
I don't know what to do.
And she hasn't opened it yet.
(41:15):
I don't know what to do.
Please help.
Jamie, what do we do?
I think this is the same advice as the last question.
She's already seen it.
No, I think this is one of those you reap what you sell.
You did this to you.
(41:35):
Why were you sending this girlfriend?
You kidding me?
You're sending Shrek, gay Shrek porn to your girlfriend.
You're sending Shrek erotica around.
You deserve everything coming to you.
Your grandmother's never going to look at you the same.
She's not.
You had it coming.
You're out of the well.
You had it coming like Shrek and that gay porno.
(41:58):
You're long out of that well now, buddy.
Sorry.
This is the problem with men these days.
They're always sending gay Shrek porn to their girlfriends.
(42:18):
Me?
I send flowers.
I send good morning, good night.
I send an edible arrangement just to let my friends know I care.
And you're talking about your Shrek?
Buddy I got some news for you.
(42:39):
You're about a month, two months away from ending up like the first question, a month
of no contact and you want to get back together.
It ain't happening.
She's already texted new dudes.
Brutal, brutal.
So what's our advice?
I don't know.
(43:00):
Your advice is our advice is probably you lost and you just got to, I don't know, have
a conversation with grandma.
82 years old means you were born in like the 50s?
Yeah.
Your grandma doesn't know how to use her phone.
You're good.
You're probably fine.
The text is going to be too big.
It's going to be too much scrolling.
She's not going to be able to read it all.
She's going to give up after like the first Shrek.
(43:24):
You're fine.
So congratulations.
You're good.
All right, Noah, this is the last one of the episode.
Boyfriend still lives with his ex.
It's a little bit of a wordy one.
So hang on, hang with me there.
My partner and I have been together almost two years, but since we've been together,
he's been living in a two bedroom suite with his ex.
(43:45):
She now has a partner of her own.
I've never really been okay with it, but I'm someone who tries to be understanding and
compassionate.
So I've been letting it slide for now.
Last year I tried helping him find a new place, but his excuses were always like, I don't
like the look of that place or it's not as secure as my current one.
(44:05):
He needs a special security for his work truck.
I brushed it off because he had a lot going on with his mom passing last year, but now
it's getting harder for me to keep ignoring how uncomfortable I feel with the situation.
One thing that really bothers me is that his ex walks around in see-through clothes like
short shorts and a tank top in front of my partner.
(44:26):
It's especially awkward when I'm there.
I get that they were together before, but it feels disrespectful to me.
We talked recently about him moving out and he said the earliest he could leave is July
because he has to help with his landlord's daughter's wedding, who's like family to
him.
Additionally, he wants to pay off some of his debt first, et cetera, et cetera.
(44:48):
I don't know if I can wait till July.
I love this man so much and I want to spend my life with him, but I'm not sure how much
longer I can deal with this.
What should I do?
Well, how do we put this?
How do we?
Wait, what do you think?
I don't think he's sleeping with her.
You think he's still sleeping with the ex?
(45:10):
Yeah, no, he's sleeping.
Hey, let's go back to the guy from the first question, not the girl, but the person who
she was writing in about.
Dude, there's always a chance.
There is always a chance.
They are 100% still sleeping together.
No, no.
He re-upped on the lease with this girl.
(45:30):
Did they say he re-upped?
If he re-upped, that would probably be cute.
They've been together for two years.
They're finishing the...
I don't know exactly when this was written.
But the new girl has a boyfriend.
You think she...
That doesn't mean nothing.
It is kind of weird.
So if I was in this situation, you know what?
(45:51):
If I dated a girl who was living with her ex, one, I probably wouldn't have started
dating him.
Just full stop.
That'd probably be a red flag.
Full stop.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
I think you kind of put yourself in a little bit of a pickle here because you got into
this relationship knowing he lived with this ex and knowing that this would probably be
(46:11):
a problem down the road.
I would assume you probably thought he would just move out.
But the fact that he's been so reluctant to move out would definitely be a reason to...
I don't want to say give an ultimatum, but give an ultimatum.
Yeah, give an ultimatum.
Give the ultimatum.
(46:32):
Maybe offer to help.
He says pay off his debt first.
Maybe if it's a place you guys are getting together, you could do the full down payment
if you have that type of money rolling around and you could be like, well, the first month
I'm doing down payment will be good.
You have that additional month to transition, figure things out.
(46:53):
It sounds like it's a bit of a money play and maybe that just means that maybe you have
to step up a little and I don't know.
Money's money.
People come back, if you really love them, it might be worth maybe working a little OT
to get a little money in the bank to help them out, to get them out of that situation.
And if it makes a relationship stronger in the long run.
Here's the thing to me.
(47:15):
When they started dating that he was living with his ex, all right, sure, fine, whatever.
And then he re-upped on that at least.
So it's like, which is crazy.
I understand if that happened for me, if my partner was living with her ex and then they
re-upped, I would be like, no, that's crazy.
(47:37):
I give him a little bit of a break because his mom passed.
Maybe it was just like everything was so stressful.
It's easier to just stay put even though it's an awkward situation.
But now you're coming to the point where it's like, we're going to re-up again.
And he's like, oh, he's dragging his feet on it now.
(47:57):
Oh, well, I have to help with my landlord's daughter's wedding.
Okay, well, what does that have anything to do with you living in the house?
How about you help with the wedding by letting the landlord make a little more money by finding
a new tenant?
And it seems like he's now making just a bunch of excuses.
(48:20):
And judging by the way, I think at best, I think his ex-girlfriend's up to something
a little manipulative here because she's wearing scandalous stuff.
Yeah, I didn't even address that.
That's insane.
It is disrespectful to you.
100%.
She sucks.
(48:40):
But even assuming the best of they're not sleeping together, which they probably are,
I think you got to like, there's something you don't know.
This is a weird situation.
I wouldn't rush into moving in with this guy because I don't trust what's going on here.
(49:01):
Something stinks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Our good advice is ultimatum.
And you know what?
It's toxic.
It's not great.
But if you approach it nicely and maybe you can offer a little financial help because
it sounds like that might be a little bit of a problem, that would be great.
(49:22):
If you offer the ultimatum and said, I don't know, if you can come up with a grand and
be like, this can go towards the down payment of our next place and that'll help you out
and it'll help you with your debt, that'd be great.
And you guys would move on.
Okay.
Intern advice.
Give them the intern advice.
What do we got, Jamie?
Intern advice has to be how do you find out if he's cheating or not?
(49:44):
Ah, it would be it would be camera in the house.
It'd be camera next time you go over, maybe put it on the maybe maybe sneaky, sneak a little
camera in the in the old room.
Yeah.
A little spy camera action.
You could do that.
I want to be very clear.
This is intern advice.
I would never in my life recommend installing cameras.
(50:07):
Yeah.
They are not allowed.
You know, I think we should stay away from this one altogether.
I think we should just be clear what kind of advice you're getting when you write in.
You're getting advice from two people that are saying to put a camera in the in the unknowingly
put a camera in the home of the person you trust most on this earth.
So you know, I think that's a good place to wrap this one up, Jamie.
(50:33):
There's got to be something better than camera, right?
I do.
I better than camera.
Keep with the girl walking around.
You start walking around.
You arrive to his house in scantily clad clothing when you know the girl and her boyfriend,
his ex and the new boyfriend are there.
(50:55):
So then you kind of return that favor on comfortableness.
Hmm.
Well, we'll see through clothing.
Yeah.
No, it could.
It could work.
It could work.
It could make them uncomfortable.
And maybe it's just kind of and then maybe she'll kick him out.
This is true.
Or sleep with his dad.
Always, always on the table with the interns.
(51:17):
Always awesome.
No, you got anything to plug?
Uh, I don't think I really do.
Just check out my YouTube over at a big blue bug gaming.
Oh, I do have something to plug here on this channel.
We dropped a edited video on this channel of us reacting to some great alpha male content.
It's hilarious.
It's funny.
(51:37):
It's edited.
It's the lunch break.
It's the lunch break.
That is the name of the segment.
We are calling it the lunch break.
Yeah.
So please go check that out.
It's a good half an hour, 25 minutes.
25 minutes.
Yeah.
It's live on the channel now.
Nice fun half hour.
You'll enjoy it for your lunch.
And there's more of those to come as we kind of iterate on it in the future.
(52:00):
For me, I got nothing to promote.
There's not going to be a video out for a couple.
I would be shocked if there's a video out by the time this I'm a little bit in the lab
right now.
I'm not ready to put something out, but I'm cooking.
I'm chefing.
So stay tuned.
Maybe just follow me on Instagram or something else.
(52:21):
I don't know.
Figure it out.
Cool.
That's it.
That's it.
Thank you guys so much for watching.
Make sure you like, comment, and subscribe and give us a rate if the platform has a place
where you can give us five stars.
And we'll see you all in that next episode.
Bye.
Bye.
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