August 20, 2024 • 52 mins
In this compelling episode of Project Sapient, we dive into the inspiring story of Bridget Truxillo, a former police officer who has transformed her challenging experiences into a mission to support her fellow first responders. With a background that includes being the only female on the SWAT team and extensive work as an undercover narcotics investigator, Bridget faced harassment, discrimination, and hostile work environments. Despite these challenges, she persevered and founded Lady Law Shield to assist those feeling overwhelmed by internal employment issues.
Throughout the episode, Bridget shares her journey from the early days of bright-eyed enthusiasm to the harsh realities of the job, including the critical moment when she realized she needed to make a change. She discusses the importance of mentorship, the impact of internal struggles on mental health, and the systemic issues within law enforcement that need addressing.
Listeners will gain valuable insights into the importance of leadership, the need for supportive environments, and practical advice on handling workplace harassment and discrimination. Bridget's story is a testament to resilience and the power of finding a new mission in life. Don't miss this episode packed with real-life experiences, expert advice, and a heartfelt message of support for the law enforcement community.
SHOW NOTES
To contact Bridget, please send an email to
IG: Bridget Baragona Truxillo (@ladylawshield) • Instagram photos and videos
Email Project Sapient: projectsapient2020@gmail.com
Head over to aaapolicesupply.com and use coupon code HYBRID10
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Project Sapient is a podcast meant to engage our brothers and sisters in the
law enforcement and military communities in conversations that we all know we need to have.
All opinions you hear are our own, and they are protected by the First Amendment
of the United States Constitution.
They are in no way reflect or are meant to reflect the opinion of any specific
agency, officer, or service member.
(00:20):
Some opinions may be controversial. Listener discretion is advised. Enjoy.
Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy.
Music.
(00:42):
All right everyone project sapien
back we are still coming in hot and heavy i just i go with an 80s theme type
rock song today so whatever um so obviously jake's not here today he's uh out
doing rifle instructor type stuff and all sorts of secret squirrely things.
(01:04):
So he's not here today, but once again, like to do a shout out to all our supporters,
listeners out there making us who we are and especially our close friends over at AAA Police Supply.
Don't forget, head over there at AAAPoliceSupply.com and use the coupon code
HYBRID10 to get 10% off your entire order.
(01:25):
And they have everything, whether it's duty gear, off-duty gear,
whatever you're looking for, they have it.
So head over there and get some gear.
And before we kick off the show, I want to give a special shout-out to a very
long-time listener, Nelson, who recently joined the Army.
He's heading to Fort Benning, and he's going to be doing four years active duty
(01:49):
as an 11 Bravo, which is infantry.
And we just want to wish him the best of luck, man. and definitely
if you're allowed to I don't know what basics like these days if you're allowed
to send us an email here and there let us know how you're doing and yeah man
very proud of you to see you the man you become and and man it's gonna be a
journey enjoy it so today we have a.
(02:13):
Pretty cool guest, I guess we'll call her. Just an all-around badass.
Her name is Bridget. She was a former police officer. She has experience.
So this episode is going to be kind of a little different with the season of Speed, Surprise,
Violence, and Action, but it kind of ties all in with the struggles within the
(02:36):
profession and what goes on in the profession on the inside,
side because that's the conversation I've always liked to have is just an open,
honest discussion about what it's like to be a cop,
especially now we've had Autumn on, we've had a female officer on who has spoken
against some of her experiences and same with Bridget.
(02:59):
So she dealt with harassment, discrimination, retaliation, and hostile work
environments. And she was the only female on the SWAT team.
Along with her time on patrol and as an undercover narcotics investigator,
she knows what it feels like to have no one to trust and feel defeated at every turn.
(03:19):
So she started Lady Law Shield to help those feeling overwhelmed and frustrated
by a seemingly unwinnable battle.
I mean, you could tell that she's passionate about it. But, you know,
she facing the same for those that face similar internal employment issues,
especially being a as a police officer and, you know, in the end, finding happiness.
(03:41):
And regardless of the environment that you're in, she will help you kind of turn it around. round.
But she also has 30 years in wellness leadership, law enforcement,
legal training experience that she can leverage for a blueprint on how to be
more comfortable, at ease, and more support in your overall life.
(04:01):
So she is an attorney, which boo attorneys, but she is an attorney, former deputy sheriff.
My wife's an attorney, so that's why I always boo attorneys,
no matter what, because it's always an argument.
So she's the founder CEO of Lady Law Shield Law Firm and Protective Wellness.
She's licensed to practice Texas, New York, Florida, LA.
(04:25):
I mean, you got all kinds of clients across the country. So Bridget, welcome.
Thank you. Happy to be here. Yeah. So it's pretty cool to see kind of the taking
a passion and kind of taking it outside the job, right?
Versus kind of sticking with it through the job and dealing with,
(04:51):
you know, the number of harassments and whatever else that you dealt with as being a police officer.
So what I'm thinking is, you know, what I'd like to do is kind of get started
on when you first got on the job and what that was like for you.
Well, to be honest, I mean, you come in bright eyed and bushy tailed,
(05:13):
you know, you think I'm going to change the world.
Nothing's ever going to happen to me. It won't get to me.
It won't break me down. And then I've always said, if you ever hear anybody
say, oh, no, I think the job is fine, then I will.
My question will be, well, how long have you been on the job?
Because the longer you're in it, I always say, and I think everybody would agree,
(05:34):
that it's not a matter of if it will happen to you. It's a matter of when it happens to you.
And so I graduated from University of Florida with a degree in environmental horticulture.
And there's a long story about how that happened.
But didn't want to work in that. And that last semester, the spring of 2000,
(05:56):
and yes, I'm that old, didn't know what to do.
I mean, I didn't, like, I can't just go. Like my specialty in horticulture was
like growing like acres and acres of celery or acres and acres of poinsettias.
And although I love plants and I love the idea of being outside for something
versus being trapped in an office, that did not sound enticing to me.
(06:17):
So I had to figure out what to do with my life and decided I joke and say that
I watched G.I. Jane and thought that would be cool.
And then I also always say no disrespect to the SEALs because that's legit.
Although at the time, and this is also dating myself, although I joke around
about that, in 2000, women weren't allowed to be on any type of special forces
(06:40):
team. So I don't think that happened until around 2013.
But anyway, I joke. That's not what I wanted to do. But I decided that FBI or
DEA, something like that would be something I wanted to do.
And so I decided to be at the sheriff's office, the local level to get there.
And nobody in my family had ever been in law enforcement before.
I lived in a very safe and secure middle income suburb, not necessarily suburbia,
(07:04):
but just, you know, safe little environments.
So I'd never dealt with drugs. I'd never dealt with domestic violence.
I'd never dealt with really any kind of crime. crime
and so it was very different and I decided I would
do a couple ride-alongs and that's what somebody I knew knew somewhere
at the sheriff's office and he's like hey go do a lot
to go do a ride-along I contacted the sheriff's office not even knowing if I
(07:27):
should do sheriff or cop I didn't know I mean um city did a couple ride-alongs
certainly saw some domestic violence things in those night ride-alongs that
same things I'd never seen before but certainly never not the the worst things I would ever see.
And then decided I would do that. But part of the reason I wanted to do,
I was interested in law enforcement is I was in my early 20s.
(07:51):
Twenties, I guess, at the time and was into working out and thought,
well, I don't know when I, if I get older, will I be motivated to stay working out?
So maybe if I find a job that requires me to be fit, it'll be easier.
Well, fast forward to me, I'm now 49 years old and I work out,
I mean, most of the time, six to seven days a week in some way.
(08:12):
So obviously now I know that it's the not, it's not the job that makes you do it.
But at the time, that was part of the reason why I got into law enforcement.
And also I'm a super big dork when it comes to right or wrong and the rule of
law and following the laws and wanting to do.
And I really think that's a very important part of a healthy and safe society.
And I thought, that's cool. I can help with that. So yeah, I went to the sheriff's
(08:35):
office really having no idea what I was getting into, but thinking that I did.
And then, you know, then the job happens.
Yeah. Reality hit you really quick at once, especially after the academy,
right? Right. Now, how long was your academy?
12 weeks, I want to say. June through June, July, August, maybe into September.
(08:56):
And I took the state test in September and I think I started,
I think I started September, October. Okay.
So, you know, you go through the academy, you're learning all this,
you know, information dump, literally, you know, and I always go on a little
soapbox where I say, you know what, that's not even enough training to know what you need to know.
(09:17):
And especially, you know, like, you know, you're a lawyer, my wife's a lawyer.
I mean, you go to law school for years to learn the practice and all of that.
And for law enforcement, we have six months to cram constitutional law,
to state constitutional law, to city codes, to everything that you can put in
(09:38):
your head, which you never remember in reality, especially when you go out on your first call.
Well, you know, it's quite the kind of shock to the system, especially after
you graduate the academy and you go on that first semester.
Official call after FTO. FTO, you got your little safety net here and there.
And then after that, once they cut you loose after, I don't know how long,
(10:01):
my FTO, I think 12 weeks, right? It's typically 12 weeks and then they release you.
Yeah. So 12 weeks and then out on your own. And I was working right in the city
of Boston for the transit system.
So it was very, very, very busy. And it's like, oh shit, here's my first call. Now what?
So I don't know if you had the similar type of experience on
(10:23):
your end it's very similar yeah three three months fto
or td for us for deputies but my my
day one on my own was new year's day 2001
first call in the car by myself all alone was shots fired into an occupied home
and the shooter's present and i was for sure the closest person there and it
(10:46):
was in my zone but still i was the closest like you have got to be kidding me.
Thankfully, nobody was shot and the shooter was gone by the time I get there,
even while I was only, and I was always really good at direction.
So I didn't have to like stop.
I lived in the county. So, you know, we have a big area, but we were within the city.
And so it was, it was not rural. It was, you know, neighborhoods.
And, but it's still, I knew I
(11:07):
turned around right away. I knew where I was going. So I knew I was close.
I'm like, you know, so you go on some calls sometime and you think,
oh, please let the ambulance be there before me or just whatever the situation
is like if there's a dead person please let the ambulance be there
first yeah but yeah that was a pucker moment but yeah
i said by the time i got there which was quick shooter was
not there and nobody had been shot so it turned out to be an okay situation
(11:29):
but definitely that was a holy crap here we go at a moment exactly kind of it
humbles you real quick yes when reality hits you so you know everyone knows
pretty much you know Every cop who listens,
and we all know the sexy calls you go on and all that crap and all the stuff
we do and the narcotics game and the SWAT game and all that.
(11:51):
That but you know i want to talk more internally within the sheriff's department
stuff that you've dealt you dealt with kind of right off the bat you know where you felt that sort of.
I'll call fake camaraderie where you realize that most aren't your friends and
you might have a couple maybe good friends that you're you rely on but in reality
(12:15):
even those two good couple friends friends, may stab you in the back.
So I'm just wondering if your experiences in that, when did you start to realize
that there's more to the job than just the job?
Well, and that's a good question. I was in patrol for a year and then I went
(12:35):
to the undercover narcotics unit because they didn't have any females.
And so, well, definitely. And I've had a lot of conversations with people,
whether it's on podcasts or just in just conversations is that,
well, that's pretty quick.
And yeah, it is. But there's obviously upsides to bringing somebody that the
community doesn't know yet and right away into the narcotics unit.
(12:58):
And then also not having a female because you send a bunch of white dudes that
look like they just stepped out of the military to go buy some crack.
Yeah, it's not going to work.
And they're not going to sell the white dudes with the marine haircut the crack,
but they'll sell it to me every time.
And I joke and say that it is the truth that I bought crack for a living for three years.
So within a year I was in the narcotics unit
(13:19):
but within that first year it was
great you know quote-unquote great and awful I mean great in the sense that
I had a good sergeant you know a couple times like if I made a mistake I remember
one time I called and said sergeant made a mistake on my report what do I do
or that if I didn't finish it and I typed it on my computer this was still early
days of computers we did not have laptops in the car also dating myself this is back in the
(13:41):
day of legit pages yeah yeah and you know
he's like oh no problem you know just real supportive and i was
always real inquisitive i wanted i wanted like i wanted to
do dui so he let me do the the training for dui really right away i mean he
was very supportive of training and from that standpoint and being being a female
i didn't have any issues at all and i just so really maybe it was kind of either
(14:05):
i wasn't there long enough for that to go bad or just got really
lucky in that first shift.
Cause I was a three P to three a are, we hold it the Bravo shift.
I loved it. You know, it was 90 miles an hour from the three o'clock when you
start to, you know, really kind of slows around around midnight,
depending on the day, but you know, I loved it.
So, and then I went to the narcotics unit and it was relatively small.
(14:27):
But yeah, still, it's like, this is great, you know, gross because it's crack
world and you go serve search warrants and people's houses and the filth and
the whatever is just gross.
But very quickly start to see the stuff that, you know, what made me sad about
that is the kids who are growing up in that kind of environment.
And where I worked, it just seemed like child, children protective,
CPS, child protective services just was worthless.
(14:49):
Like you call it in and they never showed up. And I get that they're overworked,
but it's just not fair for the
kids. So, but then about three months after that, I made the SWAT team.
So I tried out for SWAT around the time that I got put on the narcotics unit.
A lot of the SWAT guys are also, and we had the undercover side of narcotics
and then we had the uniform side of narcotics.
(15:09):
So if we were doing like by bus, let's say, where we go in and buy the crack
and we like, looks good on the bug.
And I drive off and the uniform guys swoop in and arrest them.
And then everybody flees, like whatever.
Yeah, yeah. So we worked hand in hand a lot and especially so majority of all of them.
I mean, I would say the majority for sure of narcotics and the uniform side
(15:31):
of it were also SWAT. We didn't have a full time team or call out or part time
team. And then we trained a lot. It was awesome.
And I would say the wheels probably, you know, I would say the wheels started
coming off. It was consistent.
Differences in how my life was versus slowly over time at first.
(15:55):
I'm like, you're right. I made a mistake. I'll do better. Okay.
You write me up. You're right. I deserve that. Okay. Next time.
Okay. You're right. I made a mistake.
I'll take those 500 mountain climbers. I'll do better next time.
And then finally, after about a year, I'm like, man, this is starting to really suck.
And it really, it turned into a just constant, like I just couldn't do anything
(16:16):
right. I was just constantly being called.
I mean, it literally would got to the point where I'd be sitting in my office
in the narcotics unit trying to get something done.
And one of the sergeants would come in and say, Bridget, can you come see me? I'm like, what now?
Like, can I just get through a day without getting in trouble?
Because I can't be the only one that's making mistakes.
And this is what I'll say to everybody out there. Raise your hand if you've never made a mistake.
(16:39):
Nobody's going to raise their hand. But just because you make a mistake doesn't
mean that you need to be the one that's like, should you be written out?
Maybe, but are they writing everybody up that makes that mistake?
Probably not. And anybody out there that this is, if it's ringing a bell for you, what I'm saying,
you know what I'm talking about is that, and it just got to that point where,
I mean, to the point where at the end of the day, and we could certainly go
(17:01):
into some stories, but I mean, I ended up going to my captain's office one day and saying,
I want to be off SWAT and narcotics today.
And I want day shift. And he's like, you got it because he knew what was happening.
And, you know, normally you You don't get day shift unless it's your turn. Yeah.
You know, seniority and all. But he's like, you got it. You start Monday.
And so, but it was, it was, and then once I got to that point,
(17:25):
it was horrible. I mean, yeah.
Yes, I'm tough. Yeah, I can be on SWAT team. But when I got to that point,
I was literally had to pull over on the side of the car.
One day I was crying so hard I couldn't even see. I couldn't drive.
I couldn't see straight. It was just such a gut punch.
And yes, the ones where you thought you have friends until you don't.
And it is a short list of people who will reach out when they think that you
(17:49):
like you're somehow the pariah all of a sudden. Yeah.
I mean, it's very true. I mean, I
talk to cops and retired cops across the country, and it's the same shit.
No matter where you are, no matter how big the agency or how small the agency,
it's like the same exact thing.
And it's a culture that really, truly eats its own.
(18:11):
And it's unbelievable to me. I was talking to my buddy on SWAT, his wife, who was a cop.
She left after, I think, three or four years with kind of the similar type bullshit
that she dealt with in terms of people would spread rumors around about her
(18:33):
and people would say this and that and this and that.
And it got to the point where she's like, I don't need this drama.
And she ended up leaving the job. and and you
know I find that the some of
the hardest working cops are the ones that burn out quicker the quickest
I'll come because to people
like us like I'm a sergeant on my job and you know I'm you know I have a close
(18:57):
to 20 year career SWAT narcotics DEA task force detective you know work homicides
or all kind you know I I was will call I was blessed to be able to work to in
all kinds of different units.
And every single one of those types of units always had those cops that would
backstab you in a heartbeat.
And again, that's why I say we eat our own.
(19:18):
And to me, it's not needed.
It really isn't. And to me, I come from a military background where when I was
deployed with my squad mates, my teammates, I mean, we had each other's backs.
Like there's no tomorrow, you know, even to this day, you know,
we still talk to each other, you know, because it is a whole different type
(19:39):
of brotherhood, you know, on the military side when you've deployed and you
have, you know, that, that close connection with everybody,
especially near death experiences and shit like that. But.
Policing is no different really, right? I mean, you've hit houses.
When you hit a house and you have a close call, you're like, holy shit.
(19:59):
And you would think that those sort of moments in this job where other cops
would be like, man, we could die at any minute.
Maybe I should take care of each other versus be at each other's throats.
And, you know, so I come from that kind of mindset where even if I yell at one
(20:20):
of my patrolmen, which I don't really yell, I just talk because to me,
yelling doesn't get you anywhere.
And I'll yell at an asshole all day long, but my own officers, I'm not that type of guy.
I will be firm, but fair type of conversation.
But at the same time, in the end, I also give advice like mentoring,
right? To me, as a sergeant, I'm not, yeah, sure, I can be the hammer at certain
(20:43):
things like, you know what, you fucked up and time to fix this, right?
Or you fucked up and unfortunately, I got to put this on paper now.
And it's nothing really major, major shit, but here and there,
whatever. whatever, but you're right.
To me, it's like, if I, you know, as a leader and we know plenty of leaders
that are like that, if they concentrate on that one officer who makes a mistake
(21:07):
after mistake, after mistake, to me now, what is that officer known as?
Right. And you know, this, that that's the officer that makes mistakes nonstop.
And that's the officer that needs to be handholded. And that's the officer that can't do the job.
Right. And to me, it's, it's really, the i mean
to me unless you're like violating civil rights like
(21:28):
it's it's not a big deal right like we can
fix shit you know if you messed up a number on a form you know whatever yeah
we'll fucking retype it it doesn't matter to me like no big deal we'll fix it
right and unfortunately like i said this job just eats you alive internally
more than externally so so i just
(21:49):
want to back up for a second when you said that your captain knew what did
he know what was going on is that why he just gave you whatever shift you wanted
or or was he more like was it like a caring type meeting you know what i mean
like oh shit you know yeah you are getting a raw into the deal let me move you
around and was that that kind of conversation you had with the captain.
(22:10):
Well that's that also also a good question and i would say in that situation
i was lucky to have a very good captain. And so it was both actually.
And it was also the former, which is that, you know, just surely I had the thickest
file for somebody who had been there for four and a half years of anybody at
that timeframe, because I.
And that's my personality. I mean, part of the reason I felt like I needed to
(22:33):
leave law enforcement is I don't know how to do this any other way.
I am a person who's going to go big, you know, go big or go home.
I'm not a, let me just show up for shift and then sit in my car for 10 hours.
Like that, you're kidding me? The shift is too long. You need to stay busy and make the time go by.
And I want to make some arrests and I want to find drugs in the car and I want
to, you know, all the things.
And anyway, and so, and of course getting on narcotics after one year,
(22:58):
getting on SWAT team in less than a year and a half.
I mean, that, that is an intense situation, but the, all the papering they were
doing, and especially once that
captain got into catching was the first part of me being in, he was in,
he was over HR for a while. Cause they were trying to fix the hiring situation.
And then he was, I think it was when our patrol captain retired,
(23:19):
then he moved into that role.
And so he really did see every, you know, crash report, court,
disciplinary court, whatever. He saw it all.
And so it really got to the point where he, I remember one time,
so my SWAT team commander was also my narcotics lieutenant.
And so we were doing, I don't know, I think I got really sick.
(23:40):
I remember one time it was a hostage situation.
And we were on, I was on perimeter for hours in the backyard in Florida in the
summer. And we didn't have bug spray and it was horrible.
And I guess getting sick, I could tell I was getting sick. And I think that was SWAT call out.
Maybe I think I was on the back from her. So then that finished and I put all
my SWAT gear back into my undercover narcotics car and then put back,
(24:03):
got back into the narcotic, you know, narcotics hat back on. And I was really sick.
I said, Hey, Lieutenant, or, you know, Hey, LT, I got to go.
I'm going to the doctor in the morning. I just really feel like shit. it
yeah he says okay well just make sure you get the car ready for
tomorrow we were going to have a buy yeah and he wanted
the undercover stuff all set up well we have a tech guy who does all that but
i was like okay i will well i forgot like i i mean literally i think i'd like
(24:26):
strip and i think i'd like not only strip you know this is gross but your cops
you guys have all heard and seen where it's like you're supposed to have like
little white things oh yeah that's true mine was gone mine were black like it
was i was just sick and of course i went to the doctor next
morning, got meds, went right back to work. Well, I get to work and I didn't set up the car.
And I think he wrote me up. I think, I don't really remember because that was a lot happened.
(24:49):
I got, that happened to me on time. But one of the things I had to do was I
think that was the day where as punishment, I had to take this RV that we had just confiscated.
When we got off shift at like midnight that night and go wash it,
he's like, you got to go wash it. Okay. Well, I'd never driven an RV before in my life.
And then the closest spot to watch an RV that big It was way out in the country.
Well, two of my coworkers were like, we'll go with you and help.
(25:11):
Because otherwise it would have taken me to like five o'clock in the morning or whatever.
Well, the next morning I get in and there was a, in my box, I don't know if they do that anymore.
Also probably dating myself. People actually used paper back in the day.
Yeah. We all have mailboxes.
Okay, good. That's still a thing. Yeah, it's still a thing. And so I get in,
I have a crash report in my box. because apparently when I pulled out of the
(25:33):
compound from driving an RV that I'd never driven in my life,
I dinged the taillight and it broke the taillight.
So they wrote me out for a crash report. And so-
My captain calls me and he's like, what is this? And so I explained to him what
happened. Not really trying to be like, well, they, my lieutenant's an asshole.
I just said, well, I did this. I did this. I forgot. I even said like,
(25:54):
I was sick. I went to the doctor. I forgot. I just forgot.
And so he ends up calling, calling some women and saying, you guys got to ease
up. Like lay off Bridget for a little while. Like this is too much.
So he knew it was happening. And then some other stuff happened after that.
Like, I don't even remember. I mean, I'll, you know, but one or one other time
he called me in and he said, was there anything you want to tell me?
(26:15):
And, you know, I, at that point I was like, what, what did I, I don't know, nothing.
What did I do now? I don't know. Nope. I don't want to say anything.
And at the time, and this is my biggest regret from law enforcement is that
I didn't say, as a matter of fact, there is something I want to talk to you about.
Cause I thought, well, if he knows he's going to do something about it,
but that's not how it works.
(26:35):
And that's, and you know, as well as I know, you can suspect something might
be happening on your shift, or maybe somebody is being harassed or discriminated,
but unless they come report it to you, you're not going to say anything about it.
You can go to them and say, Hey, is everything all right? I saw it.
You could even give an example, but unless they say, no, I want to report this,
then they're really, you're just going to let it be for a while. Anyway.
(26:55):
So I didn't report it and I shouldn't, I should have.
And so by the time I went to my captain and said, I'm effing done.
I didn't say effing to him, but he said, you got, because he knew,
I mean, He knew I could have filled up a notebook of just crap.
And my lieutenant and SWAT commander, God rest his soul, he's actually passed.
(27:20):
And I don't, did he make mistakes? Yes. Did I wish bad things on him? Of course not.
So I should have reported it. He was pretty explicit about it at times.
Like, you're only here because they made me put you here.
I mean, multiple times saying that. Like I tried to report something one time
saying, look, this is what happened. I tried to make it as generic as possible.
(27:42):
This person did this. If I had done that, you would have eaten me alive and
written me up for six months and blah, blah, blah.
And I guess I said to him, I'm not asking for better treatment.
I'm just asking for equal treatment.
And he said, basically, he said, don't make it worse for yourself than it already is.
And then went and told my whole team that I was trying to rat out one of my own teammates.
Oh, Jesus. And they called me a snitch behind my back as we were on our way
(28:07):
to execute a search warrant where I had done the undercover buys myself with
the guy who sold me drugs, practically holding a rifle the whole time.
I mean, like, screw all of you. Yeah. Yeah.
Unbelievable. I mean, by the time I got to that point, I was like, I'm going to give them.
And I think I also knew by the fall of 2004, I knew I was going to be leaving
(28:29):
to go to law school. I was taking the course to test for the LSAT.
So by the time I left all that, I was done. But really, I was like giving them all.
I wanted to be like, give them all the middle finger and say,
screw you, I'll show you.
Yeah. But that being said, I never left saying, F all of law enforcement.
No, I know what the job does to you.
(28:50):
I know what the job internally can do to you. And I wanted to be able to help.
And so that's what I do now, is I help people like me.
So, yeah, that's a good way to transition into it. So what is it that you're doing now? Wow.
So I help people like me who are going through crap like that.
And you're sitting there just taking it and taking it and taking it and thinking,
(29:12):
well, at first you think you're right. I made a mistake.
And then you go through these things. Okay. Well, maybe there's something wrong
with me, or it could get so bad that you could think, okay, well, maybe I'm the problem.
And if you compound that with the fact with what the job already does to you,
because I started recognizing at that point that it changes who you are to have
to suspect that everybody wants to kill you or that everybody's bad or the,
(29:35):
all the ugly, awful things you see.
Or one of the worst things for me was a two-year-old who found a gun while the
adults were passed out. And ultimately he died.
And I, I, like I know live for a fact that brain matter is gray.
Cause I saw it dripping. And so it was, you don't ever unsee those kinds of things.
And that wears on you or just, you, you just, the, the negativity,
(29:55):
the filth, the anger, the evil, and it just, that's all you do.
Or people hate you. I mean, I used to say it's not fair.
Firefighters show up and you get clapped. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're cheered
and cops show up when you call and say, like you call the cops and they show
up and then they're cussing at you the second you show up. Yeah.
So, it's a tough life anyway.
(30:16):
And then when you throw that you think your agency is coming after you on top
of that, and that can be a very dangerous, negative, slippery slope to go down. And.
I mean, I've talked to one female and this is not a female exclusive thing.
I just got off a call with a guy from Alaska this morning who needs help because
after 20 years and he's on SWAT and he's had all these things.
(30:38):
He has some lieutenant that made up and now he's made up something about being
untruthful. Now he can't get
a job after 20 years because now he's labeled as being a liar as a cop.
And so this female in particular, she had she faced a lot of crap with this really bad agency.
And the one she complained about
it and over the two years it took to resolve it all she attempted suicide
(30:59):
four times because she went through it thinking
well if i then like maybe i'm the problem and if i remove myself from the problem
the problem goes away and of course that's not true at all at all i have a client
i was helping out of utah he was on a brady giglio list and he only hired me
to do for a little bit for him but then i was really worried about him so i
I kept following up and following up.
(31:21):
And finally, I think I did finally call him. He's not my client anymore.
And I was calling him and finally he emailed me back. Oh, Hey Bridget, sorry.
I'm okay. I can tell you were worried about me. I emailed him back.
I'm like, I'm a mom of three kids. I'm full on momming you at this point.
Name. I won't say that. Don't do this to me again. I was literally getting ready
to start stalking you. I was going to call in a welfare check on you.
(31:44):
Don't do this to me again. He's like, I'm sorry, but things are better.
My point being that things And he said, no, I was in a really bad place.
I said, I know you were in a bad place. Like you were making me, I was worried about you.
And so that's what, that's why I do what I do is I, so I help people.
Law enforcement officers are first responders. It's not exclusive to law enforcement.
I remember talking to a guy who's a 30-year firefighter in tears one day because
(32:05):
his chief was really doing bad things to him.
I want you to have answers. I want you to come up with a plan because as soon
as you get that information, you start to feel like you're more in control of it.
And it doesn't always mean you're filing a lawsuit. I say all the time,
there are a lot of things you can do that have nothing with filing a lawsuit.
And I help you figure out what that is. And I help you come up with a plan and
(32:27):
I help you put the words around what's right and what's wrong and start to do something about it.
And even if I'm not the one that's doing it, if you can do it for yourself,
like here's your plan, go do it.
And that's what I think is so important about dealing with this kind of problem.
Because I also know, I mean, to me, it felt like, I mean, my world was coming
crashing down around me. I didn't want to do anything else for the rest of my life.
(32:48):
And then I, until I was had, I made a choice, but I'm also a firm believer that
life's too short. Do not put up with this kind of stuff.
You know, from leadership, I commend you on what, on how you are a sergeant
and a supervisor, because I think, I think I know is I'm a parent.
The right thing to do is not always the easy thing to do.
(33:10):
Like to parent a child in the right way means that I have teenagers and they're
not going to like me. And I sat down with my daughter one day recently.
I said, look, my job is not to make you like me. My job is to make sure that
you turn out to be a kind, independent, smart adult.
And in the process, you're probably not going to like me. So as a supervisor,
you can point to point out to somebody like not even.
(33:31):
Constitutional law violations like you say i'm not like i'm not
saying hey don't shoot somebody when you shouldn't obviously
yeah i'm saying you just shoot that person really bad why are you doing that
are you sure you're doing it for the right reasons like oh this person made
a mistake like i get it but make sure that if that's what you're going to do
then everybody who makes that mistake needs to be getting written up like stop
(33:52):
and everybody knows there'll be somebody Somebody, like one of my,
a couple of my clients going through it, they're in Illinois,
and they're like, yeah, everybody around me says, dude, keep your head down.
You obviously have a target on your back. Like, everybody will know it. Oh, yeah.
Then why isn't anybody doing anything about it? And it's hard to do that.
It's hard to do that. And especially if your culture doesn't support that at all.
(34:15):
But also, if you're a supervisor, do the right thing even when it's hard because
you could potentially be saving
somebody's life in a way you never realized you would be doing that.
I mean, the skyrocketing of police suicides, right?
It's an epidemic that no one likes to talk about. And it is real.
(34:36):
And our access to firearms, obviously, it's right on our hip. So it's very, very easy.
It's readily available. You know, we've had cops here in Massachusetts in their
own, in their cruisers, you know, just blow their own heads off or,
you know, and 90%, 99% of it is because of the internal shit,
the internal struggles and, and the,
(34:57):
whether they had a bad call.
And then you know to me you
compound this right you for give a
quick example dealing with a homicide you
know horrible scene stabbing like you
know blood all over the place and everything so that
in itself traumatic patrol officers these guys are brand new on the job this
(35:18):
is the first time they've ever handled a homicide type situation and you know
then all of a sudden And you start to hear how the bosses are coming down on
them on a couple minor mistakes or mistakes that happened.
And to me, I'm like, why, man? Like, you know, I get it evidentiary,
like, you know, certain procedures we have to do, but guide them, right?
(35:42):
There's no need to, you know, hoot holler.
And, you know, to me, it's like an ego driven type thing, you know,
where, oh, I'm the lieutenant, I'm the captain, I'm the sergeant.
Like, this is the way you're going to do it, you know? And to me,
I've always developed this outside-the-box type mentality where,
you know what, just because it tells you to do A, B, and C, guess what?
(36:03):
I'll do C and D and E and get the job done that much quicker.
So it's all about the experience and all about how you do it.
And I see at times different police departments, even my own, when...
Literally supervisor put the target on someone's back i'm like well why like i get it you know this,
(36:24):
officer keeps messing up all the time but what what are
we doing as supervisors to fix that are we
mentoring him or are we just yelling at him left and right right
are we giving them like for me i
gave the specific officer i hope my my criminal procedure
book said hey read through this make sure
you understand it if you have questions call me ask
(36:46):
me you know so so to me it's like
well yeah you know you got to be able to mentor these
new newer officers new especially these days the new officers because they really
don't you know policing has changed and we all know that and and that's the
thing is is you know mentoring and teaching rather than you know scolding and writing up constantly,
(37:10):
you know, and, and I'm pretty sure it sounds like, you know,
you're in agreement that, you know, with, with your organization,
that's kind of the way you approach it with these officers.
And I think, you know, for the stuff that I see, like, and this,
this particular wasn't one of my clients, but unfortunately,
no, but there was a female out of Austin.
(37:31):
I think, I think it was last year, maybe about a year ago or so.
So she had, something had happened.
I can't remember if it was a fight that she got hurt. She got hurt somehow.
Maybe it was a traffic accident or something. She got really hurt. Came back to work.
Maybe came back to work too soon because she came back with,
I don't know if it was mental health issues or if it was a PTSD thing. I can't remember.
(37:52):
But either way, when she came back to work, she was not the same.
She started not showing up for shift. She'd never done that before.
Late to shift. She'd never done that before. And instead of somebody saying
like, wait, this is weird. She never did this before.
They started writing her up, writing her up, writing her up.
Is it technically a policy violation? Yes.
But somebody from the 50,000 foot, you know, I know it's not always easy to
(38:15):
do that, but from a hierarchy or chain of command standpoint,
somebody out there needs, you know, I just please do that because what ended
up happening is write her up, write her up, write her up, write her up.
She committed suicide and left two kids behind.
Now I know I'm giving, I know I'm giving extreme examples, but my point being,
you know, somebody has a critical incident and they come back and they're not the same.
(38:39):
If you work with people long enough, you see those things.
Or if you're the person who sees the paperwork and you think,
this is weird. This person never had this many.
Another one of my clients had a legit alcohol problem, which is not abnormal
in law enforcement, and took the step of going to rehab. and that's a brave
(39:00):
step because you know then that's a label. You get a label.
Took FMLA leave for drinking, came back and his canine sergeant said before he went out.
If you do this again, I'm taking you like, don't do this again.
Or I basically like, you won't get your dog back.
Okay. Well, you can't do that. And I mean, within reason, you can't hold somebody's
(39:21):
dog for a year, not work. I mean, you know what I mean? Well,
then he came back to work.
He ended up having to go back to rehab and they immediately started taking actions to get rid of him.
One of those was they falsified the day record, which they They shouldn't do that.
I'm just going to tell everyone in all of law enforcement, don't ever falsify
records, even if they're employment records.
(39:44):
But so he comes back and then they start dinging him with IAs and IAs.
Well, he starts drinking again. He ends up having a heart attack.
Now, here's what you can do. Should you be worried about somebody who has a
legit, like a really bad drinking problem if they're in law enforcement?
Yes. But here's an idea. How about try a fit for duty test and have him have,
go get a medical opinion.
(40:04):
Don't start suggesting, subjecting someone to IAs unnecessarily.
And his IAs were like things that were happening at home that didn't have anything
to do with law. It wasn't domestic violence. It wasn't anything like that.
Well, of course they ended up forcing him to leave. And so from a,
from a, I keep giving these examples in context with talking with you and I
don't always talk about it from this perspective, but those are,
(40:25):
are there ways for you to show concern legitimately?
So for somebody who carries a gun for a living, that you're an alcoholic,
Yes, that's legitimate.
But there's a right and wrong way to do that.
And unfortunately, I just think it's just don't understanding...
The ways to go about being a good leader or supervisor.
(40:47):
And I'm not trying to be judgmental of everyone out there. Nobody ever trains you on that.
You don't get training in leadership often enough or hardly ever in law enforcement.
And that's unfortunate.
That's the thing, like in the military, when I became a sergeant,
you go to a school for that. When you become a staff sergeant,
you go for a school for that.
When you become a sergeant for like every rank of sergeant, you have to complete
(41:08):
a leadership school for that rank before you're are allowed to move on.
Military does that so better. And we're paramilitary.
I mean, you'd think just copy it. Oh, yes. And ladies.
I mean, and I'm not saying this is a guy problem. I have cases where the offender
is a female chief and that just pisses me off. Yeah.
Because why? Why would you do that? Yeah.
(41:30):
I've had females discriminate females, black discriminate black.
It's not always opposite.
Yeah. It can be the same. It's still illegal if that's the reason while they're doing it.
I also say all the time, it's not illegal to be a jerk.
Unfortunately, I still, I left law enforcement, went to the law firm world.
One of my bosses was a real jerk. I remember like where I was in the hallway. I'm like, wait a second.
(41:53):
You're telling me I have to put up with this shit everywhere? It sucks.
And it was still a little bit less just because I think the personalities and
the job and the powers that you have as a law enforcement officer or just makes
everything that much more potent.
But yeah, it's not exclusive to law enforcement. But because of everything you
deal with in law enforcement, it makes those experiences feel that much more overwhelming.
(42:18):
Yeah. I mean, it kind of like when you deal with somebody you deal with all
the time who's an alcoholic and turns violent. It's like the alcohol just makes it worse.
It makes that individual worse. So it's just like law enforcement.
When you're dealing with a traumatic event after traumatic event after traumatic event,
and the average American sees maybe two or three traumatic events throughout
(42:40):
their entire lifetimes where a cop deals with three or four a week or per shift cycle or however.
There's always a profession outside of the medical profession where you can
tell lots of stories about dead people.
Yeah. I mean, you know, like the time that I had to go to Taco Bell and drive
the car. This is an embarrassing story. I'll tell you anyway.
The guy died in the top, in the, in the drive-thru line at Taco Bell.
(43:04):
And my job was to go get the car out of the drive-thru. Oh. Well. Wow.
We might all not remember that, as I didn't in the moment, that when someone
dies, they let go of everything inside of them.
So I sat in the driver's seat to move the car.
I can say I quickly got out of the car and then pushed it myself.
(43:28):
Did you burn your uniform after? I pretty much, I was like, Sarge,
I got to go get, I need a break.
And he's like, why? Of course, they thought it was hilarious.
So, of course, I got completely ribbed about it the next day. Rightly so.
Rightly so. Yeah. So that was not fun. Yeah. And not to make light of the person
that died in the drive-thru.
Well, you know, I always say that we have a dark sense of humor for a reason. Yes. Right?
(43:50):
I mean, we deal with so many dead bodies, whether, you know,
the elderly to young kids.
And, you know, of course, for young kids, we are much more sensitive towards it.
But, you know, we just have a weird sense of humor.
That's a way of us releasing whatever we saw
you know so so to the people to the civilian listeners
that's that's your typical cop right when
(44:11):
when we're at a sudden death scene they're called
and you know just shit happens and we laugh about it you know i mean there's
a reason why they you'll see cops laughing on a scene like that it is not because
they think it's funny no but there is a compartmentalizing of that happens and
because you got to make it through the scene you can't leave No,
(44:32):
you can't leave because you think it's horrific.
That's not an option. One of my, one of my actually friends on the job tells
me the story when he was first brand new and I was a detective working the overdose death.
And, uh, I didn't even remember this. He told me about the story and he says,
yeah, I remember, you know, you, you were working the scene, whatever, whatever.
And you're examining the body and you know, you turn around me and you're talking
(44:52):
for a second and then the body, like he exhaled and this big bubble came out of his nose.
And I look at him, I guess I took my hand to my gun and said,
Hey, if he wakes up, he's a zombie, shoot him in the head.
And, you know, so we were laughing, but you know, it's like,
yeah, that's, that's us just being silly, you know, like just dealing with whatever we're dealing with.
(45:13):
Cause it was weird to see that. And we're like, Oh, whoa, that's a, that's a weird one.
But so how do people get ahold of you to get the help that they need or if they're stuck, right.
Dealing with what they're dealing with, how do people People get a hold of you.
Best way. So there's two quick, I'm trying to make it quick just cause I don't bore you or anyone else.
(45:36):
Ladylosshield.com. You go to my website and there's two ways there.
One is if you need me, which I'm not like I said some other day,
it's not like you have to brush your teeth each day and you got to buy toothpaste
all the time. Cause you always have to do that. You don't need somebody like me.
Ever or very often. And so what I want is number one is if you need me,
you can book a call with me and go to my website.
(45:57):
There's a, right at the top of the homepage is a book a call. You can do that.
But in the meantime, what I want you to do is I put out a newsletter and everybody's
like, yeah, I don't want another email, but here's the point of my newsletter.
I consider it tactical training for employment law.
Meaning like you, you're in the military, you know, as anybody in law enforcement,
you get, you train and you train and you train for fight for fighting or driving
(46:20):
or, or definitely shooting.
Because if you need to use that tool, when the proverbial poop hits the fan,
you know, you're not going to be able to think about it, but you just want to
be able to act without thinking about it.
Like on SWAT team, if you're good or anybody, if your gun jams,
you want to be able to get that clean fix so fast without even having to think
about it so that you can use your gun again.
So you, especially on SWAT, you, I mean, the practices and the drills of taking
(46:42):
it apart and putting it back together and who's fastest and all that.
So that you know how to do that without thinking about it when you need to in
the moment, because your fingers aren't going to want to work.
So what I want is that you read these little snippets that I give you all the time.
So that if this happens to you, your brain automatically right away knows, nope, this is not right.
And here's what I need to do about it. And I don't mean I'm telling you to go
(47:04):
burn the building down. No, I'm saying this is not right.
Here's why it's not right. And here's what you can do about it.
And say, you know, it's kind of like saying, okay, Sarge, with all due respect,
could we have a conversation?
It's kind of like, I want you to have that right away response of knowing what
to do right away, because I do not want this to be a problem that ends up festering
because I promise I know from personal experience that it's all you can think
(47:27):
about. It's all you can talk about.
It ends up affecting how you concentrate on the job. I want you to not have
that worry so that you can focus on making the right decisions at work and go
home and have a conversation with your wife or your spouse or your dog that
doesn't have anything to do with this problem because you're going to do something
about it. So go to my website.
If you need me, book a call. If you don't, sign up for the newsletter.
(47:48):
It's also all the social media links are there if you want to follow that instead.
And help train yourself to know how to fight back when needed.
Well, that's actually, you kind of summed it up with some great advice and how
to get to the the website.
Just being mindful of your time. I know you've got a couple more minutes.
(48:11):
If you have one thing to tell first responders, one piece of advice that they
can take for the night or whatever, what would that be?
Exercise. Seriously, though, you will not be in this job forever.
(48:33):
And I consider exercise to this.
I'm going to get to my real piece of advice in a second. But I do always want
to say that you will not be in this job forever.
You will retire. Too much of your identity is tied up into the job.
It's hard not to just because of what the job is and how much power is tied
into it that you have the you have the legal right to kill someone.
You have the legal right to detain someone.
(48:54):
Otherwise, it's called false imprisonment or kidnapping.
You have the legal right to handcuff.
All that, those are very powerful things.
And do something where you're letting go of that, where your identity is not
tied into it. But for me, even when I was in it, exercise was always super important to me.
But also, be healthy, be fit, so that when you retire, you can have a life that
(49:14):
you can be mobile and enjoy.
So sidebar advice, please exercise. Number two is if any of this sounds somewhat
familiar to you or you think, you know what, I just see too much crap going
on in my department around me, write it down.
You must write it down. If you hire me, the very first thing I'm going to tell
you to do is write down your story and send it to me, all the details,
(49:37):
the names, whatever. Write it down for yourself.
Put it on your phone. If you're a digital person, I still like paper.
I've already dated myself in that way. um so my point
my point being if any of us i don't care let's maybe
it started two two years ago or 10 years ago for you write
it down because you're you're not going to remember it all
i'm going to need it anyway if i'm going to help you you have to write down
(49:59):
that story so just keep a diary of things that are happening so that if you
need and also that really helps you look at it from a non-emotional standpoint
or somebody else can later to say it's like you're writing a report He pulled
a gun, he pulled the trigger, she died.
You gotta get the facts out.
So all right well that's uh again superb
(50:22):
advice i agree with the exercise part exercise workout you
know just uh it's it's very very important in this job uh
to keep yourself fit both mentally and physically so
you know you can't deny your mind and just
work your body you got to work both so i 100 back agree
with that and your second piece of advice yes write everything
(50:43):
down you know just tell the story and
so one thing I'll definitely add on the
show notes your website that way people can click and go right
to your website to reach out to you well Bridget
thank you for coming on it's was a very
supreme pleasure to have you on and great conversation
if you want to hang out for just a
(51:05):
second while I do a quick closeout and then we'll we'll
talk offline just for a quick minute okay all right perfect thank
you all right
y'all well that was bridget and uh what
a great story and great second mission
she found for herself um she did great great job and she does great work for
(51:29):
the first responder community and everyone should just reach out to her and
again we wouldn't be here without our uh supporters and sponsors uh like
888 Police Supply, head to their website.
Make sure you head over there and use HYBRID10 on your order for everything
that is law enforcement.
Everybody stay safe and stay sapient.
(51:52):
Music.
Project Sapient is a podcast meant to engage our brothers and sisters in the
law enforcement and military communities in conversations that we all know we need to have.
All opinions you hear are our own, and they are protected by the First Amendment
of the United States Constitution.
They are in no way reflect or are meant to reflect the opinion of any specific
agency, officer, or service member.
(00:20):
Some opinions may be controversial. Listener discretion is advised. Enjoy.
Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy.
Music.
(00:42):
All right everyone project sapien
back we are still coming in hot and heavy i just i go with an 80s theme type
rock song today so whatever um so obviously jake's not here today he's uh out
doing rifle instructor type stuff and all sorts of secret squirrely things.
(01:04):
So he's not here today, but once again, like to do a shout out to all our supporters,
listeners out there making us who we are and especially our close friends over at AAA Police Supply.
Don't forget, head over there at AAAPoliceSupply.com and use the coupon code
HYBRID10 to get 10% off your entire order.
(01:25):
And they have everything, whether it's duty gear, off-duty gear,
whatever you're looking for, they have it.
So head over there and get some gear.
And before we kick off the show, I want to give a special shout-out to a very
long-time listener, Nelson, who recently joined the Army.
He's heading to Fort Benning, and he's going to be doing four years active duty
(01:49):
as an 11 Bravo, which is infantry.
And we just want to wish him the best of luck, man. and definitely
if you're allowed to I don't know what basics like these days if you're allowed
to send us an email here and there let us know how you're doing and yeah man
very proud of you to see you the man you become and and man it's gonna be a
journey enjoy it so today we have a.
(02:13):
Pretty cool guest, I guess we'll call her. Just an all-around badass.
Her name is Bridget. She was a former police officer. She has experience.
So this episode is going to be kind of a little different with the season of Speed, Surprise,
Violence, and Action, but it kind of ties all in with the struggles within the
(02:36):
profession and what goes on in the profession on the inside,
side because that's the conversation I've always liked to have is just an open,
honest discussion about what it's like to be a cop,
especially now we've had Autumn on, we've had a female officer on who has spoken
against some of her experiences and same with Bridget.
(02:59):
So she dealt with harassment, discrimination, retaliation, and hostile work
environments. And she was the only female on the SWAT team.
Along with her time on patrol and as an undercover narcotics investigator,
she knows what it feels like to have no one to trust and feel defeated at every turn.
(03:19):
So she started Lady Law Shield to help those feeling overwhelmed and frustrated
by a seemingly unwinnable battle.
I mean, you could tell that she's passionate about it. But, you know,
she facing the same for those that face similar internal employment issues,
especially being a as a police officer and, you know, in the end, finding happiness.
(03:41):
And regardless of the environment that you're in, she will help you kind of turn it around. round.
But she also has 30 years in wellness leadership, law enforcement,
legal training experience that she can leverage for a blueprint on how to be
more comfortable, at ease, and more support in your overall life.
(04:01):
So she is an attorney, which boo attorneys, but she is an attorney, former deputy sheriff.
My wife's an attorney, so that's why I always boo attorneys,
no matter what, because it's always an argument.
So she's the founder CEO of Lady Law Shield Law Firm and Protective Wellness.
She's licensed to practice Texas, New York, Florida, LA.
(04:25):
I mean, you got all kinds of clients across the country. So Bridget, welcome.
Thank you. Happy to be here. Yeah. So it's pretty cool to see kind of the taking
a passion and kind of taking it outside the job, right?
Versus kind of sticking with it through the job and dealing with,
(04:51):
you know, the number of harassments and whatever else that you dealt with as being a police officer.
So what I'm thinking is, you know, what I'd like to do is kind of get started
on when you first got on the job and what that was like for you.
Well, to be honest, I mean, you come in bright eyed and bushy tailed,
(05:13):
you know, you think I'm going to change the world.
Nothing's ever going to happen to me. It won't get to me.
It won't break me down. And then I've always said, if you ever hear anybody
say, oh, no, I think the job is fine, then I will.
My question will be, well, how long have you been on the job?
Because the longer you're in it, I always say, and I think everybody would agree,
(05:34):
that it's not a matter of if it will happen to you. It's a matter of when it happens to you.
And so I graduated from University of Florida with a degree in environmental horticulture.
And there's a long story about how that happened.
But didn't want to work in that. And that last semester, the spring of 2000,
(05:56):
and yes, I'm that old, didn't know what to do.
I mean, I didn't, like, I can't just go. Like my specialty in horticulture was
like growing like acres and acres of celery or acres and acres of poinsettias.
And although I love plants and I love the idea of being outside for something
versus being trapped in an office, that did not sound enticing to me.
(06:17):
So I had to figure out what to do with my life and decided I joke and say that
I watched G.I. Jane and thought that would be cool.
And then I also always say no disrespect to the SEALs because that's legit.
Although at the time, and this is also dating myself, although I joke around
about that, in 2000, women weren't allowed to be on any type of special forces
(06:40):
team. So I don't think that happened until around 2013.
But anyway, I joke. That's not what I wanted to do. But I decided that FBI or
DEA, something like that would be something I wanted to do.
And so I decided to be at the sheriff's office, the local level to get there.
And nobody in my family had ever been in law enforcement before.
I lived in a very safe and secure middle income suburb, not necessarily suburbia,
(07:04):
but just, you know, safe little environments.
So I'd never dealt with drugs. I'd never dealt with domestic violence.
I'd never dealt with really any kind of crime. crime
and so it was very different and I decided I would
do a couple ride-alongs and that's what somebody I knew knew somewhere
at the sheriff's office and he's like hey go do a lot
to go do a ride-along I contacted the sheriff's office not even knowing if I
(07:27):
should do sheriff or cop I didn't know I mean um city did a couple ride-alongs
certainly saw some domestic violence things in those night ride-alongs that
same things I'd never seen before but certainly never not the the worst things I would ever see.
And then decided I would do that. But part of the reason I wanted to do,
I was interested in law enforcement is I was in my early 20s.
(07:51):
Twenties, I guess, at the time and was into working out and thought,
well, I don't know when I, if I get older, will I be motivated to stay working out?
So maybe if I find a job that requires me to be fit, it'll be easier.
Well, fast forward to me, I'm now 49 years old and I work out,
I mean, most of the time, six to seven days a week in some way.
(08:12):
So obviously now I know that it's the not, it's not the job that makes you do it.
But at the time, that was part of the reason why I got into law enforcement.
And also I'm a super big dork when it comes to right or wrong and the rule of
law and following the laws and wanting to do.
And I really think that's a very important part of a healthy and safe society.
And I thought, that's cool. I can help with that. So yeah, I went to the sheriff's
(08:35):
office really having no idea what I was getting into, but thinking that I did.
And then, you know, then the job happens.
Yeah. Reality hit you really quick at once, especially after the academy,
right? Right. Now, how long was your academy?
12 weeks, I want to say. June through June, July, August, maybe into September.
(08:56):
And I took the state test in September and I think I started,
I think I started September, October. Okay.
So, you know, you go through the academy, you're learning all this,
you know, information dump, literally, you know, and I always go on a little
soapbox where I say, you know what, that's not even enough training to know what you need to know.
(09:17):
And especially, you know, like, you know, you're a lawyer, my wife's a lawyer.
I mean, you go to law school for years to learn the practice and all of that.
And for law enforcement, we have six months to cram constitutional law,
to state constitutional law, to city codes, to everything that you can put in
(09:38):
your head, which you never remember in reality, especially when you go out on your first call.
Well, you know, it's quite the kind of shock to the system, especially after
you graduate the academy and you go on that first semester.
Official call after FTO. FTO, you got your little safety net here and there.
And then after that, once they cut you loose after, I don't know how long,
(10:01):
my FTO, I think 12 weeks, right? It's typically 12 weeks and then they release you.
Yeah. So 12 weeks and then out on your own. And I was working right in the city
of Boston for the transit system.
So it was very, very, very busy. And it's like, oh shit, here's my first call. Now what?
So I don't know if you had the similar type of experience on
(10:23):
your end it's very similar yeah three three months fto
or td for us for deputies but my my
day one on my own was new year's day 2001
first call in the car by myself all alone was shots fired into an occupied home
and the shooter's present and i was for sure the closest person there and it
(10:46):
was in my zone but still i was the closest like you have got to be kidding me.
Thankfully, nobody was shot and the shooter was gone by the time I get there,
even while I was only, and I was always really good at direction.
So I didn't have to like stop.
I lived in the county. So, you know, we have a big area, but we were within the city.
And so it was, it was not rural. It was, you know, neighborhoods.
And, but it's still, I knew I
(11:07):
turned around right away. I knew where I was going. So I knew I was close.
I'm like, you know, so you go on some calls sometime and you think,
oh, please let the ambulance be there before me or just whatever the situation
is like if there's a dead person please let the ambulance be there
first yeah but yeah that was a pucker moment but yeah
i said by the time i got there which was quick shooter was
not there and nobody had been shot so it turned out to be an okay situation
(11:29):
but definitely that was a holy crap here we go at a moment exactly kind of it
humbles you real quick yes when reality hits you so you know everyone knows
pretty much you know Every cop who listens,
and we all know the sexy calls you go on and all that crap and all the stuff
we do and the narcotics game and the SWAT game and all that.
(11:51):
That but you know i want to talk more internally within the sheriff's department
stuff that you've dealt you dealt with kind of right off the bat you know where you felt that sort of.
I'll call fake camaraderie where you realize that most aren't your friends and
you might have a couple maybe good friends that you're you rely on but in reality
(12:15):
even those two good couple friends friends, may stab you in the back.
So I'm just wondering if your experiences in that, when did you start to realize
that there's more to the job than just the job?
Well, and that's a good question. I was in patrol for a year and then I went
(12:35):
to the undercover narcotics unit because they didn't have any females.
And so, well, definitely. And I've had a lot of conversations with people,
whether it's on podcasts or just in just conversations is that,
well, that's pretty quick.
And yeah, it is. But there's obviously upsides to bringing somebody that the
community doesn't know yet and right away into the narcotics unit.
(12:58):
And then also not having a female because you send a bunch of white dudes that
look like they just stepped out of the military to go buy some crack.
Yeah, it's not going to work.
And they're not going to sell the white dudes with the marine haircut the crack,
but they'll sell it to me every time.
And I joke and say that it is the truth that I bought crack for a living for three years.
So within a year I was in the narcotics unit
(13:19):
but within that first year it was
great you know quote-unquote great and awful I mean great in the sense that
I had a good sergeant you know a couple times like if I made a mistake I remember
one time I called and said sergeant made a mistake on my report what do I do
or that if I didn't finish it and I typed it on my computer this was still early
days of computers we did not have laptops in the car also dating myself this is back in the
(13:41):
day of legit pages yeah yeah and you know
he's like oh no problem you know just real supportive and i was
always real inquisitive i wanted i wanted like i wanted to
do dui so he let me do the the training for dui really right away i mean he
was very supportive of training and from that standpoint and being being a female
i didn't have any issues at all and i just so really maybe it was kind of either
(14:05):
i wasn't there long enough for that to go bad or just got really
lucky in that first shift.
Cause I was a three P to three a are, we hold it the Bravo shift.
I loved it. You know, it was 90 miles an hour from the three o'clock when you
start to, you know, really kind of slows around around midnight,
depending on the day, but you know, I loved it.
So, and then I went to the narcotics unit and it was relatively small.
(14:27):
But yeah, still, it's like, this is great, you know, gross because it's crack
world and you go serve search warrants and people's houses and the filth and
the whatever is just gross.
But very quickly start to see the stuff that, you know, what made me sad about
that is the kids who are growing up in that kind of environment.
And where I worked, it just seemed like child, children protective,
CPS, child protective services just was worthless.
(14:49):
Like you call it in and they never showed up. And I get that they're overworked,
but it's just not fair for the
kids. So, but then about three months after that, I made the SWAT team.
So I tried out for SWAT around the time that I got put on the narcotics unit.
A lot of the SWAT guys are also, and we had the undercover side of narcotics
and then we had the uniform side of narcotics.
(15:09):
So if we were doing like by bus, let's say, where we go in and buy the crack
and we like, looks good on the bug.
And I drive off and the uniform guys swoop in and arrest them.
And then everybody flees, like whatever.
Yeah, yeah. So we worked hand in hand a lot and especially so majority of all of them.
I mean, I would say the majority for sure of narcotics and the uniform side
(15:31):
of it were also SWAT. We didn't have a full time team or call out or part time
team. And then we trained a lot. It was awesome.
And I would say the wheels probably, you know, I would say the wheels started
coming off. It was consistent.
Differences in how my life was versus slowly over time at first.
(15:55):
I'm like, you're right. I made a mistake. I'll do better. Okay.
You write me up. You're right. I deserve that. Okay. Next time.
Okay. You're right. I made a mistake.
I'll take those 500 mountain climbers. I'll do better next time.
And then finally, after about a year, I'm like, man, this is starting to really suck.
And it really, it turned into a just constant, like I just couldn't do anything
(16:16):
right. I was just constantly being called.
I mean, it literally would got to the point where I'd be sitting in my office
in the narcotics unit trying to get something done.
And one of the sergeants would come in and say, Bridget, can you come see me? I'm like, what now?
Like, can I just get through a day without getting in trouble?
Because I can't be the only one that's making mistakes.
And this is what I'll say to everybody out there. Raise your hand if you've never made a mistake.
(16:39):
Nobody's going to raise their hand. But just because you make a mistake doesn't
mean that you need to be the one that's like, should you be written out?
Maybe, but are they writing everybody up that makes that mistake?
Probably not. And anybody out there that this is, if it's ringing a bell for you, what I'm saying,
you know what I'm talking about is that, and it just got to that point where,
I mean, to the point where at the end of the day, and we could certainly go
(17:01):
into some stories, but I mean, I ended up going to my captain's office one day and saying,
I want to be off SWAT and narcotics today.
And I want day shift. And he's like, you got it because he knew what was happening.
And, you know, normally you You don't get day shift unless it's your turn. Yeah.
You know, seniority and all. But he's like, you got it. You start Monday.
And so, but it was, it was, and then once I got to that point,
(17:25):
it was horrible. I mean, yeah.
Yes, I'm tough. Yeah, I can be on SWAT team. But when I got to that point,
I was literally had to pull over on the side of the car.
One day I was crying so hard I couldn't even see. I couldn't drive.
I couldn't see straight. It was just such a gut punch.
And yes, the ones where you thought you have friends until you don't.
And it is a short list of people who will reach out when they think that you
(17:49):
like you're somehow the pariah all of a sudden. Yeah.
I mean, it's very true. I mean, I
talk to cops and retired cops across the country, and it's the same shit.
No matter where you are, no matter how big the agency or how small the agency,
it's like the same exact thing.
And it's a culture that really, truly eats its own.
(18:11):
And it's unbelievable to me. I was talking to my buddy on SWAT, his wife, who was a cop.
She left after, I think, three or four years with kind of the similar type bullshit
that she dealt with in terms of people would spread rumors around about her
(18:33):
and people would say this and that and this and that.
And it got to the point where she's like, I don't need this drama.
And she ended up leaving the job. and and you
know I find that the some of
the hardest working cops are the ones that burn out quicker the quickest
I'll come because to people
like us like I'm a sergeant on my job and you know I'm you know I have a close
(18:57):
to 20 year career SWAT narcotics DEA task force detective you know work homicides
or all kind you know I I was will call I was blessed to be able to work to in
all kinds of different units.
And every single one of those types of units always had those cops that would
backstab you in a heartbeat.
And again, that's why I say we eat our own.
(19:18):
And to me, it's not needed.
It really isn't. And to me, I come from a military background where when I was
deployed with my squad mates, my teammates, I mean, we had each other's backs.
Like there's no tomorrow, you know, even to this day, you know,
we still talk to each other, you know, because it is a whole different type
(19:39):
of brotherhood, you know, on the military side when you've deployed and you
have, you know, that, that close connection with everybody,
especially near death experiences and shit like that. But.
Policing is no different really, right? I mean, you've hit houses.
When you hit a house and you have a close call, you're like, holy shit.
(19:59):
And you would think that those sort of moments in this job where other cops
would be like, man, we could die at any minute.
Maybe I should take care of each other versus be at each other's throats.
And, you know, so I come from that kind of mindset where even if I yell at one
(20:20):
of my patrolmen, which I don't really yell, I just talk because to me,
yelling doesn't get you anywhere.
And I'll yell at an asshole all day long, but my own officers, I'm not that type of guy.
I will be firm, but fair type of conversation.
But at the same time, in the end, I also give advice like mentoring,
right? To me, as a sergeant, I'm not, yeah, sure, I can be the hammer at certain
(20:43):
things like, you know what, you fucked up and time to fix this, right?
Or you fucked up and unfortunately, I got to put this on paper now.
And it's nothing really major, major shit, but here and there,
whatever. whatever, but you're right.
To me, it's like, if I, you know, as a leader and we know plenty of leaders
that are like that, if they concentrate on that one officer who makes a mistake
(21:07):
after mistake, after mistake, to me now, what is that officer known as?
Right. And you know, this, that that's the officer that makes mistakes nonstop.
And that's the officer that needs to be handholded. And that's the officer that can't do the job.
Right. And to me, it's, it's really, the i mean
to me unless you're like violating civil rights like
(21:28):
it's it's not a big deal right like we can
fix shit you know if you messed up a number on a form you know whatever yeah
we'll fucking retype it it doesn't matter to me like no big deal we'll fix it
right and unfortunately like i said this job just eats you alive internally
more than externally so so i just
(21:49):
want to back up for a second when you said that your captain knew what did
he know what was going on is that why he just gave you whatever shift you wanted
or or was he more like was it like a caring type meeting you know what i mean
like oh shit you know yeah you are getting a raw into the deal let me move you
around and was that that kind of conversation you had with the captain.
(22:10):
Well that's that also also a good question and i would say in that situation
i was lucky to have a very good captain. And so it was both actually.
And it was also the former, which is that, you know, just surely I had the thickest
file for somebody who had been there for four and a half years of anybody at
that timeframe, because I.
And that's my personality. I mean, part of the reason I felt like I needed to
(22:33):
leave law enforcement is I don't know how to do this any other way.
I am a person who's going to go big, you know, go big or go home.
I'm not a, let me just show up for shift and then sit in my car for 10 hours.
Like that, you're kidding me? The shift is too long. You need to stay busy and make the time go by.
And I want to make some arrests and I want to find drugs in the car and I want
to, you know, all the things.
And anyway, and so, and of course getting on narcotics after one year,
(22:58):
getting on SWAT team in less than a year and a half.
I mean, that, that is an intense situation, but the, all the papering they were
doing, and especially once that
captain got into catching was the first part of me being in, he was in,
he was over HR for a while. Cause they were trying to fix the hiring situation.
And then he was, I think it was when our patrol captain retired,
(23:19):
then he moved into that role.
And so he really did see every, you know, crash report, court,
disciplinary court, whatever. He saw it all.
And so it really got to the point where he, I remember one time,
so my SWAT team commander was also my narcotics lieutenant.
And so we were doing, I don't know, I think I got really sick.
(23:40):
I remember one time it was a hostage situation.
And we were on, I was on perimeter for hours in the backyard in Florida in the
summer. And we didn't have bug spray and it was horrible.
And I guess getting sick, I could tell I was getting sick. And I think that was SWAT call out.
Maybe I think I was on the back from her. So then that finished and I put all
my SWAT gear back into my undercover narcotics car and then put back,
(24:03):
got back into the narcotic, you know, narcotics hat back on. And I was really sick.
I said, Hey, Lieutenant, or, you know, Hey, LT, I got to go.
I'm going to the doctor in the morning. I just really feel like shit. it
yeah he says okay well just make sure you get the car ready for
tomorrow we were going to have a buy yeah and he wanted
the undercover stuff all set up well we have a tech guy who does all that but
i was like okay i will well i forgot like i i mean literally i think i'd like
(24:26):
strip and i think i'd like not only strip you know this is gross but your cops
you guys have all heard and seen where it's like you're supposed to have like
little white things oh yeah that's true mine was gone mine were black like it
was i was just sick and of course i went to the doctor next
morning, got meds, went right back to work. Well, I get to work and I didn't set up the car.
And I think he wrote me up. I think, I don't really remember because that was a lot happened.
(24:49):
I got, that happened to me on time. But one of the things I had to do was I
think that was the day where as punishment, I had to take this RV that we had just confiscated.
When we got off shift at like midnight that night and go wash it,
he's like, you got to go wash it. Okay. Well, I'd never driven an RV before in my life.
And then the closest spot to watch an RV that big It was way out in the country.
Well, two of my coworkers were like, we'll go with you and help.
(25:11):
Because otherwise it would have taken me to like five o'clock in the morning or whatever.
Well, the next morning I get in and there was a, in my box, I don't know if they do that anymore.
Also probably dating myself. People actually used paper back in the day.
Yeah. We all have mailboxes.
Okay, good. That's still a thing. Yeah, it's still a thing. And so I get in,
I have a crash report in my box. because apparently when I pulled out of the
(25:33):
compound from driving an RV that I'd never driven in my life,
I dinged the taillight and it broke the taillight.
So they wrote me out for a crash report. And so-
My captain calls me and he's like, what is this? And so I explained to him what
happened. Not really trying to be like, well, they, my lieutenant's an asshole.
I just said, well, I did this. I did this. I forgot. I even said like,
(25:54):
I was sick. I went to the doctor. I forgot. I just forgot.
And so he ends up calling, calling some women and saying, you guys got to ease
up. Like lay off Bridget for a little while. Like this is too much.
So he knew it was happening. And then some other stuff happened after that.
Like, I don't even remember. I mean, I'll, you know, but one or one other time
he called me in and he said, was there anything you want to tell me?
(26:15):
And, you know, I, at that point I was like, what, what did I, I don't know, nothing.
What did I do now? I don't know. Nope. I don't want to say anything.
And at the time, and this is my biggest regret from law enforcement is that
I didn't say, as a matter of fact, there is something I want to talk to you about.
Cause I thought, well, if he knows he's going to do something about it,
but that's not how it works.
(26:35):
And that's, and you know, as well as I know, you can suspect something might
be happening on your shift, or maybe somebody is being harassed or discriminated,
but unless they come report it to you, you're not going to say anything about it.
You can go to them and say, Hey, is everything all right? I saw it.
You could even give an example, but unless they say, no, I want to report this,
then they're really, you're just going to let it be for a while. Anyway.
(26:55):
So I didn't report it and I shouldn't, I should have.
And so by the time I went to my captain and said, I'm effing done.
I didn't say effing to him, but he said, you got, because he knew,
I mean, He knew I could have filled up a notebook of just crap.
And my lieutenant and SWAT commander, God rest his soul, he's actually passed.
(27:20):
And I don't, did he make mistakes? Yes. Did I wish bad things on him? Of course not.
So I should have reported it. He was pretty explicit about it at times.
Like, you're only here because they made me put you here.
I mean, multiple times saying that. Like I tried to report something one time
saying, look, this is what happened. I tried to make it as generic as possible.
(27:42):
This person did this. If I had done that, you would have eaten me alive and
written me up for six months and blah, blah, blah.
And I guess I said to him, I'm not asking for better treatment.
I'm just asking for equal treatment.
And he said, basically, he said, don't make it worse for yourself than it already is.
And then went and told my whole team that I was trying to rat out one of my own teammates.
Oh, Jesus. And they called me a snitch behind my back as we were on our way
(28:07):
to execute a search warrant where I had done the undercover buys myself with
the guy who sold me drugs, practically holding a rifle the whole time.
I mean, like, screw all of you. Yeah. Yeah.
Unbelievable. I mean, by the time I got to that point, I was like, I'm going to give them.
And I think I also knew by the fall of 2004, I knew I was going to be leaving
(28:29):
to go to law school. I was taking the course to test for the LSAT.
So by the time I left all that, I was done. But really, I was like giving them all.
I wanted to be like, give them all the middle finger and say,
screw you, I'll show you.
Yeah. But that being said, I never left saying, F all of law enforcement.
No, I know what the job does to you.
(28:50):
I know what the job internally can do to you. And I wanted to be able to help.
And so that's what I do now, is I help people like me.
So, yeah, that's a good way to transition into it. So what is it that you're doing now? Wow.
So I help people like me who are going through crap like that.
And you're sitting there just taking it and taking it and taking it and thinking,
(29:12):
well, at first you think you're right. I made a mistake.
And then you go through these things. Okay. Well, maybe there's something wrong
with me, or it could get so bad that you could think, okay, well, maybe I'm the problem.
And if you compound that with the fact with what the job already does to you,
because I started recognizing at that point that it changes who you are to have
to suspect that everybody wants to kill you or that everybody's bad or the,
(29:35):
all the ugly, awful things you see.
Or one of the worst things for me was a two-year-old who found a gun while the
adults were passed out. And ultimately he died.
And I, I, like I know live for a fact that brain matter is gray.
Cause I saw it dripping. And so it was, you don't ever unsee those kinds of things.
And that wears on you or just, you, you just, the, the negativity,
(29:55):
the filth, the anger, the evil, and it just, that's all you do.
Or people hate you. I mean, I used to say it's not fair.
Firefighters show up and you get clapped. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're cheered
and cops show up when you call and say, like you call the cops and they show
up and then they're cussing at you the second you show up. Yeah.
So, it's a tough life anyway.
(30:16):
And then when you throw that you think your agency is coming after you on top
of that, and that can be a very dangerous, negative, slippery slope to go down. And.
I mean, I've talked to one female and this is not a female exclusive thing.
I just got off a call with a guy from Alaska this morning who needs help because
after 20 years and he's on SWAT and he's had all these things.
(30:38):
He has some lieutenant that made up and now he's made up something about being
untruthful. Now he can't get
a job after 20 years because now he's labeled as being a liar as a cop.
And so this female in particular, she had she faced a lot of crap with this really bad agency.
And the one she complained about
it and over the two years it took to resolve it all she attempted suicide
(30:59):
four times because she went through it thinking
well if i then like maybe i'm the problem and if i remove myself from the problem
the problem goes away and of course that's not true at all at all i have a client
i was helping out of utah he was on a brady giglio list and he only hired me
to do for a little bit for him but then i was really worried about him so i
I kept following up and following up.
(31:21):
And finally, I think I did finally call him. He's not my client anymore.
And I was calling him and finally he emailed me back. Oh, Hey Bridget, sorry.
I'm okay. I can tell you were worried about me. I emailed him back.
I'm like, I'm a mom of three kids. I'm full on momming you at this point.
Name. I won't say that. Don't do this to me again. I was literally getting ready
to start stalking you. I was going to call in a welfare check on you.
(31:44):
Don't do this to me again. He's like, I'm sorry, but things are better.
My point being that things And he said, no, I was in a really bad place.
I said, I know you were in a bad place. Like you were making me, I was worried about you.
And so that's what, that's why I do what I do is I, so I help people.
Law enforcement officers are first responders. It's not exclusive to law enforcement.
I remember talking to a guy who's a 30-year firefighter in tears one day because
(32:05):
his chief was really doing bad things to him.
I want you to have answers. I want you to come up with a plan because as soon
as you get that information, you start to feel like you're more in control of it.
And it doesn't always mean you're filing a lawsuit. I say all the time,
there are a lot of things you can do that have nothing with filing a lawsuit.
And I help you figure out what that is. And I help you come up with a plan and
(32:27):
I help you put the words around what's right and what's wrong and start to do something about it.
And even if I'm not the one that's doing it, if you can do it for yourself,
like here's your plan, go do it.
And that's what I think is so important about dealing with this kind of problem.
Because I also know, I mean, to me, it felt like, I mean, my world was coming
crashing down around me. I didn't want to do anything else for the rest of my life.
(32:48):
And then I, until I was had, I made a choice, but I'm also a firm believer that
life's too short. Do not put up with this kind of stuff.
You know, from leadership, I commend you on what, on how you are a sergeant
and a supervisor, because I think, I think I know is I'm a parent.
The right thing to do is not always the easy thing to do.
(33:10):
Like to parent a child in the right way means that I have teenagers and they're
not going to like me. And I sat down with my daughter one day recently.
I said, look, my job is not to make you like me. My job is to make sure that
you turn out to be a kind, independent, smart adult.
And in the process, you're probably not going to like me. So as a supervisor,
you can point to point out to somebody like not even.
(33:31):
Constitutional law violations like you say i'm not like i'm not
saying hey don't shoot somebody when you shouldn't obviously
yeah i'm saying you just shoot that person really bad why are you doing that
are you sure you're doing it for the right reasons like oh this person made
a mistake like i get it but make sure that if that's what you're going to do
then everybody who makes that mistake needs to be getting written up like stop
(33:52):
and everybody knows there'll be somebody Somebody, like one of my,
a couple of my clients going through it, they're in Illinois,
and they're like, yeah, everybody around me says, dude, keep your head down.
You obviously have a target on your back. Like, everybody will know it. Oh, yeah.
Then why isn't anybody doing anything about it? And it's hard to do that.
It's hard to do that. And especially if your culture doesn't support that at all.
(34:15):
But also, if you're a supervisor, do the right thing even when it's hard because
you could potentially be saving
somebody's life in a way you never realized you would be doing that.
I mean, the skyrocketing of police suicides, right?
It's an epidemic that no one likes to talk about. And it is real.
(34:36):
And our access to firearms, obviously, it's right on our hip. So it's very, very easy.
It's readily available. You know, we've had cops here in Massachusetts in their
own, in their cruisers, you know, just blow their own heads off or,
you know, and 90%, 99% of it is because of the internal shit,
the internal struggles and, and the,
(34:57):
whether they had a bad call.
And then you know to me you
compound this right you for give a
quick example dealing with a homicide you
know horrible scene stabbing like you
know blood all over the place and everything so that
in itself traumatic patrol officers these guys are brand new on the job this
(35:18):
is the first time they've ever handled a homicide type situation and you know
then all of a sudden And you start to hear how the bosses are coming down on
them on a couple minor mistakes or mistakes that happened.
And to me, I'm like, why, man? Like, you know, I get it evidentiary,
like, you know, certain procedures we have to do, but guide them, right?
(35:42):
There's no need to, you know, hoot holler.
And, you know, to me, it's like an ego driven type thing, you know,
where, oh, I'm the lieutenant, I'm the captain, I'm the sergeant.
Like, this is the way you're going to do it, you know? And to me,
I've always developed this outside-the-box type mentality where,
you know what, just because it tells you to do A, B, and C, guess what?
(36:03):
I'll do C and D and E and get the job done that much quicker.
So it's all about the experience and all about how you do it.
And I see at times different police departments, even my own, when...
Literally supervisor put the target on someone's back i'm like well why like i get it you know this,
(36:24):
officer keeps messing up all the time but what what are
we doing as supervisors to fix that are we
mentoring him or are we just yelling at him left and right right
are we giving them like for me i
gave the specific officer i hope my my criminal procedure
book said hey read through this make sure
you understand it if you have questions call me ask
(36:46):
me you know so so to me it's like
well yeah you know you got to be able to mentor these
new newer officers new especially these days the new officers because they really
don't you know policing has changed and we all know that and and that's the
thing is is you know mentoring and teaching rather than you know scolding and writing up constantly,
(37:10):
you know, and, and I'm pretty sure it sounds like, you know,
you're in agreement that, you know, with, with your organization,
that's kind of the way you approach it with these officers.
And I think, you know, for the stuff that I see, like, and this,
this particular wasn't one of my clients, but unfortunately,
no, but there was a female out of Austin.
(37:31):
I think, I think it was last year, maybe about a year ago or so.
So she had, something had happened.
I can't remember if it was a fight that she got hurt. She got hurt somehow.
Maybe it was a traffic accident or something. She got really hurt. Came back to work.
Maybe came back to work too soon because she came back with,
I don't know if it was mental health issues or if it was a PTSD thing. I can't remember.
(37:52):
But either way, when she came back to work, she was not the same.
She started not showing up for shift. She'd never done that before.
Late to shift. She'd never done that before. And instead of somebody saying
like, wait, this is weird. She never did this before.
They started writing her up, writing her up, writing her up.
Is it technically a policy violation? Yes.
But somebody from the 50,000 foot, you know, I know it's not always easy to
(38:15):
do that, but from a hierarchy or chain of command standpoint,
somebody out there needs, you know, I just please do that because what ended
up happening is write her up, write her up, write her up, write her up.
She committed suicide and left two kids behind.
Now I know I'm giving, I know I'm giving extreme examples, but my point being,
you know, somebody has a critical incident and they come back and they're not the same.
(38:39):
If you work with people long enough, you see those things.
Or if you're the person who sees the paperwork and you think,
this is weird. This person never had this many.
Another one of my clients had a legit alcohol problem, which is not abnormal
in law enforcement, and took the step of going to rehab. and that's a brave
(39:00):
step because you know then that's a label. You get a label.
Took FMLA leave for drinking, came back and his canine sergeant said before he went out.
If you do this again, I'm taking you like, don't do this again.
Or I basically like, you won't get your dog back.
Okay. Well, you can't do that. And I mean, within reason, you can't hold somebody's
(39:21):
dog for a year, not work. I mean, you know what I mean? Well,
then he came back to work.
He ended up having to go back to rehab and they immediately started taking actions to get rid of him.
One of those was they falsified the day record, which they They shouldn't do that.
I'm just going to tell everyone in all of law enforcement, don't ever falsify
records, even if they're employment records.
(39:44):
But so he comes back and then they start dinging him with IAs and IAs.
Well, he starts drinking again. He ends up having a heart attack.
Now, here's what you can do. Should you be worried about somebody who has a
legit, like a really bad drinking problem if they're in law enforcement?
Yes. But here's an idea. How about try a fit for duty test and have him have,
go get a medical opinion.
(40:04):
Don't start suggesting, subjecting someone to IAs unnecessarily.
And his IAs were like things that were happening at home that didn't have anything
to do with law. It wasn't domestic violence. It wasn't anything like that.
Well, of course they ended up forcing him to leave. And so from a,
from a, I keep giving these examples in context with talking with you and I
don't always talk about it from this perspective, but those are,
(40:25):
are there ways for you to show concern legitimately?
So for somebody who carries a gun for a living, that you're an alcoholic,
Yes, that's legitimate.
But there's a right and wrong way to do that.
And unfortunately, I just think it's just don't understanding...
The ways to go about being a good leader or supervisor.
(40:47):
And I'm not trying to be judgmental of everyone out there. Nobody ever trains you on that.
You don't get training in leadership often enough or hardly ever in law enforcement.
And that's unfortunate.
That's the thing, like in the military, when I became a sergeant,
you go to a school for that. When you become a staff sergeant,
you go for a school for that.
When you become a sergeant for like every rank of sergeant, you have to complete
(41:08):
a leadership school for that rank before you're are allowed to move on.
Military does that so better. And we're paramilitary.
I mean, you'd think just copy it. Oh, yes. And ladies.
I mean, and I'm not saying this is a guy problem. I have cases where the offender
is a female chief and that just pisses me off. Yeah.
Because why? Why would you do that? Yeah.
(41:30):
I've had females discriminate females, black discriminate black.
It's not always opposite.
Yeah. It can be the same. It's still illegal if that's the reason while they're doing it.
I also say all the time, it's not illegal to be a jerk.
Unfortunately, I still, I left law enforcement, went to the law firm world.
One of my bosses was a real jerk. I remember like where I was in the hallway. I'm like, wait a second.
(41:53):
You're telling me I have to put up with this shit everywhere? It sucks.
And it was still a little bit less just because I think the personalities and
the job and the powers that you have as a law enforcement officer or just makes
everything that much more potent.
But yeah, it's not exclusive to law enforcement. But because of everything you
deal with in law enforcement, it makes those experiences feel that much more overwhelming.
(42:18):
Yeah. I mean, it kind of like when you deal with somebody you deal with all
the time who's an alcoholic and turns violent. It's like the alcohol just makes it worse.
It makes that individual worse. So it's just like law enforcement.
When you're dealing with a traumatic event after traumatic event after traumatic event,
and the average American sees maybe two or three traumatic events throughout
(42:40):
their entire lifetimes where a cop deals with three or four a week or per shift cycle or however.
There's always a profession outside of the medical profession where you can
tell lots of stories about dead people.
Yeah. I mean, you know, like the time that I had to go to Taco Bell and drive
the car. This is an embarrassing story. I'll tell you anyway.
The guy died in the top, in the, in the drive-thru line at Taco Bell.
(43:04):
And my job was to go get the car out of the drive-thru. Oh. Well. Wow.
We might all not remember that, as I didn't in the moment, that when someone
dies, they let go of everything inside of them.
So I sat in the driver's seat to move the car.
I can say I quickly got out of the car and then pushed it myself.
(43:28):
Did you burn your uniform after? I pretty much, I was like, Sarge,
I got to go get, I need a break.
And he's like, why? Of course, they thought it was hilarious.
So, of course, I got completely ribbed about it the next day. Rightly so.
Rightly so. Yeah. So that was not fun. Yeah. And not to make light of the person
that died in the drive-thru.
Well, you know, I always say that we have a dark sense of humor for a reason. Yes. Right?
(43:50):
I mean, we deal with so many dead bodies, whether, you know,
the elderly to young kids.
And, you know, of course, for young kids, we are much more sensitive towards it.
But, you know, we just have a weird sense of humor.
That's a way of us releasing whatever we saw
you know so so to the people to the civilian listeners
that's that's your typical cop right when
(44:11):
when we're at a sudden death scene they're called
and you know just shit happens and we laugh about it you know i mean there's
a reason why they you'll see cops laughing on a scene like that it is not because
they think it's funny no but there is a compartmentalizing of that happens and
because you got to make it through the scene you can't leave No,
(44:32):
you can't leave because you think it's horrific.
That's not an option. One of my, one of my actually friends on the job tells
me the story when he was first brand new and I was a detective working the overdose death.
And, uh, I didn't even remember this. He told me about the story and he says,
yeah, I remember, you know, you, you were working the scene, whatever, whatever.
And you're examining the body and you know, you turn around me and you're talking
(44:52):
for a second and then the body, like he exhaled and this big bubble came out of his nose.
And I look at him, I guess I took my hand to my gun and said,
Hey, if he wakes up, he's a zombie, shoot him in the head.
And, you know, so we were laughing, but you know, it's like,
yeah, that's, that's us just being silly, you know, like just dealing with whatever we're dealing with.
(45:13):
Cause it was weird to see that. And we're like, Oh, whoa, that's a, that's a weird one.
But so how do people get ahold of you to get the help that they need or if they're stuck, right.
Dealing with what they're dealing with, how do people People get a hold of you.
Best way. So there's two quick, I'm trying to make it quick just cause I don't bore you or anyone else.
(45:36):
Ladylosshield.com. You go to my website and there's two ways there.
One is if you need me, which I'm not like I said some other day,
it's not like you have to brush your teeth each day and you got to buy toothpaste
all the time. Cause you always have to do that. You don't need somebody like me.
Ever or very often. And so what I want is number one is if you need me,
you can book a call with me and go to my website.
(45:57):
There's a, right at the top of the homepage is a book a call. You can do that.
But in the meantime, what I want you to do is I put out a newsletter and everybody's
like, yeah, I don't want another email, but here's the point of my newsletter.
I consider it tactical training for employment law.
Meaning like you, you're in the military, you know, as anybody in law enforcement,
you get, you train and you train and you train for fight for fighting or driving
(46:20):
or, or definitely shooting.
Because if you need to use that tool, when the proverbial poop hits the fan,
you know, you're not going to be able to think about it, but you just want to
be able to act without thinking about it.
Like on SWAT team, if you're good or anybody, if your gun jams,
you want to be able to get that clean fix so fast without even having to think
about it so that you can use your gun again.
So you, especially on SWAT, you, I mean, the practices and the drills of taking
(46:42):
it apart and putting it back together and who's fastest and all that.
So that you know how to do that without thinking about it when you need to in
the moment, because your fingers aren't going to want to work.
So what I want is that you read these little snippets that I give you all the time.
So that if this happens to you, your brain automatically right away knows, nope, this is not right.
And here's what I need to do about it. And I don't mean I'm telling you to go
(47:04):
burn the building down. No, I'm saying this is not right.
Here's why it's not right. And here's what you can do about it.
And say, you know, it's kind of like saying, okay, Sarge, with all due respect,
could we have a conversation?
It's kind of like, I want you to have that right away response of knowing what
to do right away, because I do not want this to be a problem that ends up festering
because I promise I know from personal experience that it's all you can think
(47:27):
about. It's all you can talk about.
It ends up affecting how you concentrate on the job. I want you to not have
that worry so that you can focus on making the right decisions at work and go
home and have a conversation with your wife or your spouse or your dog that
doesn't have anything to do with this problem because you're going to do something
about it. So go to my website.
If you need me, book a call. If you don't, sign up for the newsletter.
(47:48):
It's also all the social media links are there if you want to follow that instead.
And help train yourself to know how to fight back when needed.
Well, that's actually, you kind of summed it up with some great advice and how
to get to the the website.
Just being mindful of your time. I know you've got a couple more minutes.
(48:11):
If you have one thing to tell first responders, one piece of advice that they
can take for the night or whatever, what would that be?
Exercise. Seriously, though, you will not be in this job forever.
(48:33):
And I consider exercise to this.
I'm going to get to my real piece of advice in a second. But I do always want
to say that you will not be in this job forever.
You will retire. Too much of your identity is tied up into the job.
It's hard not to just because of what the job is and how much power is tied
into it that you have the you have the legal right to kill someone.
You have the legal right to detain someone.
(48:54):
Otherwise, it's called false imprisonment or kidnapping.
You have the legal right to handcuff.
All that, those are very powerful things.
And do something where you're letting go of that, where your identity is not
tied into it. But for me, even when I was in it, exercise was always super important to me.
But also, be healthy, be fit, so that when you retire, you can have a life that
(49:14):
you can be mobile and enjoy.
So sidebar advice, please exercise. Number two is if any of this sounds somewhat
familiar to you or you think, you know what, I just see too much crap going
on in my department around me, write it down.
You must write it down. If you hire me, the very first thing I'm going to tell
you to do is write down your story and send it to me, all the details,
(49:37):
the names, whatever. Write it down for yourself.
Put it on your phone. If you're a digital person, I still like paper.
I've already dated myself in that way. um so my point
my point being if any of us i don't care let's maybe
it started two two years ago or 10 years ago for you write
it down because you're you're not going to remember it all
i'm going to need it anyway if i'm going to help you you have to write down
(49:59):
that story so just keep a diary of things that are happening so that if you
need and also that really helps you look at it from a non-emotional standpoint
or somebody else can later to say it's like you're writing a report He pulled
a gun, he pulled the trigger, she died.
You gotta get the facts out.
So all right well that's uh again superb
(50:22):
advice i agree with the exercise part exercise workout you
know just uh it's it's very very important in this job uh
to keep yourself fit both mentally and physically so
you know you can't deny your mind and just
work your body you got to work both so i 100 back agree
with that and your second piece of advice yes write everything
(50:43):
down you know just tell the story and
so one thing I'll definitely add on the
show notes your website that way people can click and go right
to your website to reach out to you well Bridget
thank you for coming on it's was a very
supreme pleasure to have you on and great conversation
if you want to hang out for just a
(51:05):
second while I do a quick closeout and then we'll we'll
talk offline just for a quick minute okay all right perfect thank
you all right
y'all well that was bridget and uh what
a great story and great second mission
she found for herself um she did great great job and she does great work for
(51:29):
the first responder community and everyone should just reach out to her and
again we wouldn't be here without our uh supporters and sponsors uh like
888 Police Supply, head to their website.
Make sure you head over there and use HYBRID10 on your order for everything
that is law enforcement.
Everybody stay safe and stay sapient.
(51:52):
Music.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.