January 21, 2025 • 14 mins
**Previously Recorded
In this episode, Teresa, your Host discusses the importance of protecting your peace by setting boundaries, managing energy, and prioritizing mental well-being. She explores the concept of energy suckers, shares personal experiences with emotional drain, and differentiates between feeling lonely in a relationship and being alone. The episode emphasizes self-discovery, self-love, and actionable steps to create a fulfilling life.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello, my beautiful Prosecco Queens.
(00:29):
Welcome back, I'm Teresa, your host, your guide, and your go-to gal for all things sparkle,
self-care, and queen energy. And of course, you're forever dreamer. How's your new year treating you
so far? I hope it is filled with intention and joy. I know it's been cold, January is long,
(00:50):
and it's only going to get colder. I'm always looking forward to spring, but I hope we can all
enjoy the moment we are in. Now I know you hear my chipper voice and you're thinking, wow, you're
really in a fantastic mood for this time of year. And I gotta tell you, I've had better moments,
but I'm here with you guys, and that makes me happy. So today's episode is all about protecting
(01:11):
your peace. We're diving into how to deal with energy suckers, that feeling of being lonely in
a relationship, and how to embrace being alone without feeling lonely. So grab your glass of
bubbly or your favorite cozy drink, and let's get into it. Like I mentioned earlier, today is
really an interesting day for me to talk about this, because if anyone would have seen me,
I really needed to practice actively what I'm about to preach, because I allowed someone to
(01:35):
completely affect my energy, my attitude, and my total emotional well-being. Stick around for that
story a bit later in this episode, but it proves that no matter how far we come, being on this journey
can take you one step forward and ten back, and literally riding the aftershocks after the initial
shattering earthquake. I wish I could take credit for that, but that analogy came from my therapist,
(01:59):
and I thought it was a genius. Well, I thought it was genius, and I thought she was a genius,
because it put it all into perspective for me. So what does it mean to protect your peace? Let's
break that down. Protecting your peace means setting boundaries, managing your energy, and
prioritizing your mental and emotional well-being. It's about saying no to what drains you. And
(02:20):
let's not forget that no itself is a full sentence, a full stop. And it's about saying yes to what
fills your cup, literally and figuratively. And this is not about being selfish. Now, you know,
I love a drink, and just an FYI, water works just as well, and it's cleansing, just some food for
thought. In this fast-paced world, peace can feel like a luxury, but it is a necessity. It's what
(02:43):
allows you to show up as your best self, whether that's at work, in your relationships, or just for
yourself. And the best part, protecting your peace is something you have complete control over. And
you know, as I've said before, I like anything that I can have control over. It's something I'm
working through, but for me, being able to have control over something in my life feels good to
me. And if that means just myself and the way I react to things, then that's something I have to
(03:08):
actively practice. Protecting your peace does not need anyone's permission. Now, I know, and I've
had this cover before on other episodes, where a lot of us were raised old school, where we were
not taught about boundaries. And God forbid you tell someone no. The disrespect and possibly the
ass-whipping you might get for the embarrassment afflicted upon your parents was enough for us
(03:30):
to comply. And that's why we had to kiss and hug adults we didn't want to, and basically only allowed
to be seen and not heard. However, luckily, those generational mistakes are being corrected, and
we could all learn to heal as adults and do better for our families in that respect. So here are a
few steps you can take starting today to protect your peace. Firstly, set clear boundaries.
(03:52):
Seems simple enough, but be clear about what you will and won't tolerate. This could mean limiting
your time with certain people or saying no to things that don't align with your values. Honestly,
this takes some balls for sure. And you're going to hurt some feelings, especially if it is to the
people closest to you. Do it respectfully and honestly. But remember the people that accept it
(04:12):
the least are the ones that are the most advantageous of you having no boundaries. Secondly, create a
peaceful environment, whether it's decluttering your space, lighting a candle, or playing common
music. Create a space that feels like a sanctuary. Sometimes for me, it's the only time I have in
my car between getting home from work and going in the house or getting to the parking lot of my
(04:33):
office and walking in. Thirdly, check in with yourself daily. Ask yourself, how am I feeling today?
How was I feeling today? What do I need? Honoring those needs is a big part of protecting your peace
and it's another practice that doesn't have to take a long time. I like to do mine when I lay in
the bed for the night. Even when I'm falling half asleep, it does not take very long to do. So part
(04:54):
of what I mentioned in the intro was about energy suckers. And the reason I thought that this would
go well with protecting your peace is because so many of us, there's people around us that feel like
big dark energy voids when you're around them and you can actually physically feel them pull from you
when they're around. And some of us have absolutely no way of knowing to release them from the hold
(05:16):
they have on us. And we all know them. These are those people or situations that just drain the
life out of you. Maybe it's a toxic friend, a co-worker who always complains, a family member
unfortunately, or even that endless scroll on social media that we all do all the time. Energy
suckers are everywhere, but you don't have to give them power over you. So how do we handle energy
(05:38):
suckers? Well, firstly, we limit their access. You don't owe anyone unlimited access to your time or
your energy or your body by the way. That's a whole different episode, but keep that in mind. It's okay
to step back and create distance from these people and situations. Secondly, ground yourself. It's
something I try to talk about all the time because I try to practice that a little bit every day,
(05:59):
especially when I forget. When you're around someone draining, take deep breaths and remind
yourself that their energy does not have to affect yours. So story time. And this is what I had
mentioned earlier on in the intro I was going to talk about. Today was a hard one for me. So just a
quick background for anyone who is new here, hello by the way, or anyone that just does not remember,
I unfortunately only have been married twice. Firstly, I was young to my first husband and
(06:25):
thought I was doing the right thing. And the second one I thought was the love of my life.
Both of them ended very badly in ways I could not control because you can't control all the
people's behaviors. But my reaction to them, I'm not proud of. And today, as always dealing,
a person who I always could feel the dark energy and that got worse over the years. And today I
(06:47):
allowed this person to take me out of my face to cause me the screaming and the yelling that I have
tried really hard to get away from. And the point is, I allowed this person to let their narcissism
and selfishness affect me when I know damn well that me screaming and fighting and arguing and
crying is not going to change anything. I knew this already, but I let that anger and that emotion
(07:13):
build up. And I thought the best way was to scream and curse and say all the things that I had wanted
to say. And then I realized, again, what difference did that make? Absolutely nothing. To someone,
to most people, and especially to energy suckers, all it does is make you look crazy. When someone
(07:33):
takes you out of who you are, you're the one that feels that repercussion. The physical
ramifications of that explosion. I can actually feel my blood pressure going through the roof.
And now in my 40s, I can't be playing like that. Just some food for thought. The more we practice
self-awareness, the less we will allow those outbursts. Will it happen? Of course. Do people
(07:57):
really make us go nuts sometimes? Of course. But sometimes being able to ground ourselves
and bring us back helps a little bit. And thirdly, say no without guilt. Remember, and as I said
earlier, no is a complete sentence. No matter what, you are allowed to prioritize yourself.
(08:18):
And you do not need to justify protecting your peace ever. See, because when you are not at
peace with yourself, it doesn't just affect your mind, it affects your body. Hence, me worrying
about my blood pressure. So here's a tip that I have found helpful, especially in days like today,
when I knew that blowing a gasket was only affecting me. Imagine your energy as a bank
(08:40):
account. Every time you interact with someone or do something, you're either making a deposit
or a withdrawal. Start prioritizing people and activities that leave your account full. This
is a constant practice. And like I said, one step forward, and hopefully not like me today, 10 steps
back. Lastly, I wanted to touch on being lonely in a relationship versus feeling lonely alone.
(09:04):
And you're probably wondering, what does this kind of have to do with energy suckers and
protecting your peace? But if you think logically, a lot of us stay in relationships because we're
scared of being lonely, regardless if that person is an energy sucker or we are unhappy,
or we're just scared to be alone, right? Even if the relationship itself is an energy sucker,
(09:25):
or you can feel lonely in that relationship. And I don't think this topic gets enough attention
because feeling lonely in a relationship, it's a unique kind of loneliness, right? I know it all
too well. You have someone there physically, but emotionally, there's a disconnect. And for some
physically, there's a disconnect. And if you've ever felt this way, let me tell you, you're not
(09:45):
alone. And it's not your fault. Here's the thing, a relationship, any relationship should add to your
life, not to pleach you. I know for a fact, from personal experience, in my first two marriages,
there was not a lot of emotional support. And a lot of that, again, is old school. Sometimes men
were not taught how to have that emotional support for their partners. But I also learned the hard
(10:08):
way recently, being in a situation ship, that you could then have the most amazing emotional
connection. And that doesn't matter either, because you can have an emotional connection
and a physical connection, but then there's no relationship to build. So you still feel depleted.
So if you're feeling lonely, it's a sign to check in with yourself. And if you have a partner,
(10:30):
check in with your partner, ask yourself, are my needs being met? Am I communicating those needs?
Despite what we think, people are not mind readers. People are very happy with status quo. And if
they think that you're content, and if they are feeling content, that's going to remain that way
until somebody pops that quirk. Sometimes the solution is an honest conversation.
(10:51):
Other times, it might mean reevaluating the relationship altogether. Now on the flip side,
being alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely either. And most people would rather be single
these days than deal with some of the crap out there. And I completely see why. See, in fact,
learning to enjoy your own company is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Being alone
(11:12):
is an opportunity to reconnect with who you are, explore your passions, and create a life you love.
Basically, what that means is that way, when you are in and if you choose to be in another
relationship, you know that who you're looking for is going to add to that happiness, but not be
there just to give you happiness. So how do you embrace being alone? Well, the first thing is you
(11:32):
romanticize your life. Treat yourself to a solo date, cook a fancy meal just for you, or take a
walk while listening to your favorite music just to name a few. Anything that makes you happy,
invest in yourself. Use this time to learn a new skill, pick up a hobby, work on your personal
growth, your spiritual growth, and learn the things that you like, including physically. You
(11:54):
don't have to spend time teaching somebody if you don't know yourself. And lastly, practice
self-compassion. Remind yourself that being alone is not a reflection of your worth. You are whole
and complete just as you are. So with all of that being said, here are some actionable steps for this
week and some final thoughts. Protecting your peace is an act of self-love and it's something
(12:15):
you deserve and I deserve. Whether it's setting boundaries with energy suckers,
addressing loneliness in a relationship, or embracing solitude, remember that you have the
power to create the life you want. So just as last week, here's my challenge for you this week.
And really, every day, pass this week as well. Identify one energy sucker in your life and
take a step to limit their impact. Spend some intentional alone time this week. Do something
(12:41):
just for you and savor it. And lastly, if you're feeling lonely in a relationship,
start a dialogue first with yourself because that's the most important. And then with your partner if
needed. Being single can be hard, but it will never be as hard as feeling single in a relationship.
Before we go, I want to remind you that protecting your peace isn't selfish. It's necessary. When
(13:01):
you prioritize your well-being, you're better equipped to show up for the people and things
that truly matter. And we all fall. And like I said in my last one, we all fail. But failure
is what brings the most successes. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with your fellow
kings and queens. Follow me on Instagram or your preferred social platform at Prosecco Queens
(13:26):
podcast for more tips, updates, and inspiration. And I can be reached as well at Prosecco Queens
podcast at gmail.com. Please join me next week as well as I continue these discussions while we
talk a little more about self love and acceptance and fighting the silent monster unworthiness.
Until next time, keep shining, keep sipping. And remember, you are worthy of peace, love,
(13:51):
and all the good things life has to offer. Cheers to you, my beautiful Prosecco Queens fan. Peace out.
Hello, my beautiful Prosecco Queens.
(00:29):
Welcome back, I'm Teresa, your host, your guide, and your go-to gal for all things sparkle,
self-care, and queen energy. And of course, you're forever dreamer. How's your new year treating you
so far? I hope it is filled with intention and joy. I know it's been cold, January is long,
(00:50):
and it's only going to get colder. I'm always looking forward to spring, but I hope we can all
enjoy the moment we are in. Now I know you hear my chipper voice and you're thinking, wow, you're
really in a fantastic mood for this time of year. And I gotta tell you, I've had better moments,
but I'm here with you guys, and that makes me happy. So today's episode is all about protecting
(01:11):
your peace. We're diving into how to deal with energy suckers, that feeling of being lonely in
a relationship, and how to embrace being alone without feeling lonely. So grab your glass of
bubbly or your favorite cozy drink, and let's get into it. Like I mentioned earlier, today is
really an interesting day for me to talk about this, because if anyone would have seen me,
I really needed to practice actively what I'm about to preach, because I allowed someone to
(01:35):
completely affect my energy, my attitude, and my total emotional well-being. Stick around for that
story a bit later in this episode, but it proves that no matter how far we come, being on this journey
can take you one step forward and ten back, and literally riding the aftershocks after the initial
shattering earthquake. I wish I could take credit for that, but that analogy came from my therapist,
(01:59):
and I thought it was a genius. Well, I thought it was genius, and I thought she was a genius,
because it put it all into perspective for me. So what does it mean to protect your peace? Let's
break that down. Protecting your peace means setting boundaries, managing your energy, and
prioritizing your mental and emotional well-being. It's about saying no to what drains you. And
(02:20):
let's not forget that no itself is a full sentence, a full stop. And it's about saying yes to what
fills your cup, literally and figuratively. And this is not about being selfish. Now, you know,
I love a drink, and just an FYI, water works just as well, and it's cleansing, just some food for
thought. In this fast-paced world, peace can feel like a luxury, but it is a necessity. It's what
(02:43):
allows you to show up as your best self, whether that's at work, in your relationships, or just for
yourself. And the best part, protecting your peace is something you have complete control over. And
you know, as I've said before, I like anything that I can have control over. It's something I'm
working through, but for me, being able to have control over something in my life feels good to
me. And if that means just myself and the way I react to things, then that's something I have to
(03:08):
actively practice. Protecting your peace does not need anyone's permission. Now, I know, and I've
had this cover before on other episodes, where a lot of us were raised old school, where we were
not taught about boundaries. And God forbid you tell someone no. The disrespect and possibly the
ass-whipping you might get for the embarrassment afflicted upon your parents was enough for us
(03:30):
to comply. And that's why we had to kiss and hug adults we didn't want to, and basically only allowed
to be seen and not heard. However, luckily, those generational mistakes are being corrected, and
we could all learn to heal as adults and do better for our families in that respect. So here are a
few steps you can take starting today to protect your peace. Firstly, set clear boundaries.
(03:52):
Seems simple enough, but be clear about what you will and won't tolerate. This could mean limiting
your time with certain people or saying no to things that don't align with your values. Honestly,
this takes some balls for sure. And you're going to hurt some feelings, especially if it is to the
people closest to you. Do it respectfully and honestly. But remember the people that accept it
(04:12):
the least are the ones that are the most advantageous of you having no boundaries. Secondly, create a
peaceful environment, whether it's decluttering your space, lighting a candle, or playing common
music. Create a space that feels like a sanctuary. Sometimes for me, it's the only time I have in
my car between getting home from work and going in the house or getting to the parking lot of my
(04:33):
office and walking in. Thirdly, check in with yourself daily. Ask yourself, how am I feeling today?
How was I feeling today? What do I need? Honoring those needs is a big part of protecting your peace
and it's another practice that doesn't have to take a long time. I like to do mine when I lay in
the bed for the night. Even when I'm falling half asleep, it does not take very long to do. So part
(04:54):
of what I mentioned in the intro was about energy suckers. And the reason I thought that this would
go well with protecting your peace is because so many of us, there's people around us that feel like
big dark energy voids when you're around them and you can actually physically feel them pull from you
when they're around. And some of us have absolutely no way of knowing to release them from the hold
(05:16):
they have on us. And we all know them. These are those people or situations that just drain the
life out of you. Maybe it's a toxic friend, a co-worker who always complains, a family member
unfortunately, or even that endless scroll on social media that we all do all the time. Energy
suckers are everywhere, but you don't have to give them power over you. So how do we handle energy
(05:38):
suckers? Well, firstly, we limit their access. You don't owe anyone unlimited access to your time or
your energy or your body by the way. That's a whole different episode, but keep that in mind. It's okay
to step back and create distance from these people and situations. Secondly, ground yourself. It's
something I try to talk about all the time because I try to practice that a little bit every day,
(05:59):
especially when I forget. When you're around someone draining, take deep breaths and remind
yourself that their energy does not have to affect yours. So story time. And this is what I had
mentioned earlier on in the intro I was going to talk about. Today was a hard one for me. So just a
quick background for anyone who is new here, hello by the way, or anyone that just does not remember,
I unfortunately only have been married twice. Firstly, I was young to my first husband and
(06:25):
thought I was doing the right thing. And the second one I thought was the love of my life.
Both of them ended very badly in ways I could not control because you can't control all the
people's behaviors. But my reaction to them, I'm not proud of. And today, as always dealing,
a person who I always could feel the dark energy and that got worse over the years. And today I
(06:47):
allowed this person to take me out of my face to cause me the screaming and the yelling that I have
tried really hard to get away from. And the point is, I allowed this person to let their narcissism
and selfishness affect me when I know damn well that me screaming and fighting and arguing and
crying is not going to change anything. I knew this already, but I let that anger and that emotion
(07:13):
build up. And I thought the best way was to scream and curse and say all the things that I had wanted
to say. And then I realized, again, what difference did that make? Absolutely nothing. To someone,
to most people, and especially to energy suckers, all it does is make you look crazy. When someone
(07:33):
takes you out of who you are, you're the one that feels that repercussion. The physical
ramifications of that explosion. I can actually feel my blood pressure going through the roof.
And now in my 40s, I can't be playing like that. Just some food for thought. The more we practice
self-awareness, the less we will allow those outbursts. Will it happen? Of course. Do people
(07:57):
really make us go nuts sometimes? Of course. But sometimes being able to ground ourselves
and bring us back helps a little bit. And thirdly, say no without guilt. Remember, and as I said
earlier, no is a complete sentence. No matter what, you are allowed to prioritize yourself.
(08:18):
And you do not need to justify protecting your peace ever. See, because when you are not at
peace with yourself, it doesn't just affect your mind, it affects your body. Hence, me worrying
about my blood pressure. So here's a tip that I have found helpful, especially in days like today,
when I knew that blowing a gasket was only affecting me. Imagine your energy as a bank
(08:40):
account. Every time you interact with someone or do something, you're either making a deposit
or a withdrawal. Start prioritizing people and activities that leave your account full. This
is a constant practice. And like I said, one step forward, and hopefully not like me today, 10 steps
back. Lastly, I wanted to touch on being lonely in a relationship versus feeling lonely alone.
(09:04):
And you're probably wondering, what does this kind of have to do with energy suckers and
protecting your peace? But if you think logically, a lot of us stay in relationships because we're
scared of being lonely, regardless if that person is an energy sucker or we are unhappy,
or we're just scared to be alone, right? Even if the relationship itself is an energy sucker,
(09:25):
or you can feel lonely in that relationship. And I don't think this topic gets enough attention
because feeling lonely in a relationship, it's a unique kind of loneliness, right? I know it all
too well. You have someone there physically, but emotionally, there's a disconnect. And for some
physically, there's a disconnect. And if you've ever felt this way, let me tell you, you're not
(09:45):
alone. And it's not your fault. Here's the thing, a relationship, any relationship should add to your
life, not to pleach you. I know for a fact, from personal experience, in my first two marriages,
there was not a lot of emotional support. And a lot of that, again, is old school. Sometimes men
were not taught how to have that emotional support for their partners. But I also learned the hard
(10:08):
way recently, being in a situation ship, that you could then have the most amazing emotional
connection. And that doesn't matter either, because you can have an emotional connection
and a physical connection, but then there's no relationship to build. So you still feel depleted.
So if you're feeling lonely, it's a sign to check in with yourself. And if you have a partner,
(10:30):
check in with your partner, ask yourself, are my needs being met? Am I communicating those needs?
Despite what we think, people are not mind readers. People are very happy with status quo. And if
they think that you're content, and if they are feeling content, that's going to remain that way
until somebody pops that quirk. Sometimes the solution is an honest conversation.
(10:51):
Other times, it might mean reevaluating the relationship altogether. Now on the flip side,
being alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely either. And most people would rather be single
these days than deal with some of the crap out there. And I completely see why. See, in fact,
learning to enjoy your own company is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Being alone
(11:12):
is an opportunity to reconnect with who you are, explore your passions, and create a life you love.
Basically, what that means is that way, when you are in and if you choose to be in another
relationship, you know that who you're looking for is going to add to that happiness, but not be
there just to give you happiness. So how do you embrace being alone? Well, the first thing is you
(11:32):
romanticize your life. Treat yourself to a solo date, cook a fancy meal just for you, or take a
walk while listening to your favorite music just to name a few. Anything that makes you happy,
invest in yourself. Use this time to learn a new skill, pick up a hobby, work on your personal
growth, your spiritual growth, and learn the things that you like, including physically. You
(11:54):
don't have to spend time teaching somebody if you don't know yourself. And lastly, practice
self-compassion. Remind yourself that being alone is not a reflection of your worth. You are whole
and complete just as you are. So with all of that being said, here are some actionable steps for this
week and some final thoughts. Protecting your peace is an act of self-love and it's something
(12:15):
you deserve and I deserve. Whether it's setting boundaries with energy suckers,
addressing loneliness in a relationship, or embracing solitude, remember that you have the
power to create the life you want. So just as last week, here's my challenge for you this week.
And really, every day, pass this week as well. Identify one energy sucker in your life and
take a step to limit their impact. Spend some intentional alone time this week. Do something
(12:41):
just for you and savor it. And lastly, if you're feeling lonely in a relationship,
start a dialogue first with yourself because that's the most important. And then with your partner if
needed. Being single can be hard, but it will never be as hard as feeling single in a relationship.
Before we go, I want to remind you that protecting your peace isn't selfish. It's necessary. When
(13:01):
you prioritize your well-being, you're better equipped to show up for the people and things
that truly matter. And we all fall. And like I said in my last one, we all fail. But failure
is what brings the most successes. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with your fellow
kings and queens. Follow me on Instagram or your preferred social platform at Prosecco Queens
(13:26):
podcast for more tips, updates, and inspiration. And I can be reached as well at Prosecco Queens
podcast at gmail.com. Please join me next week as well as I continue these discussions while we
talk a little more about self love and acceptance and fighting the silent monster unworthiness.
Until next time, keep shining, keep sipping. And remember, you are worthy of peace, love,
(13:51):
and all the good things life has to offer. Cheers to you, my beautiful Prosecco Queens fan. Peace out.
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