August 11, 2024 • 19 mins
How often do we find ourselves juggling life's responsibilities, only to realize we're neglecting our own well-being? Today, I share my personal journey of balancing expanded responsibilities and stepping into a caregiver role, leading to an epiphany about the critical need for self-care. We delve into the essence of Proven Not Perfect and why staying true to my voice and the core intent of the podcast matters more than ever. In this conversation, I share my practical ideas on self-care, its evolving significance as we age, and the necessity of creating purposeful practices that nurture our mind, body, and spirit.
Let’s talk practical tips: ever wondered how a physical calendar could revolutionize your self-care routine? I reveal my weekly habit of transferring tasks from my digital calendar to a physical one, a simple yet profound practice that brings clarity and reduces overwhelm. I’m eager to share these insights with you.
Let’s talk practical tips: ever wondered how a physical calendar could revolutionize your self-care routine? I reveal my weekly habit of transferring tasks from my digital calendar to a physical one, a simple yet profound practice that brings clarity and reduces overwhelm. I’m eager to share these insights with you.
Drive, Ambition, Doing, Leading, Creating... all good until we forget about our own self-care. This Village of All-Stars pays it forward with transparency about misses and celebration in winning. We cover many topics and keep it 100. We are Proven Not Perfect™️
https://www.provennotperfect.com
Follow me on Instagram at: shontrapowell_provennotperfect
Check out Proven Not Perfect ™️ YouTube Channel as well. Join the community for ideas and events at www.provennotperfect.com.
I'd love to hear what you think!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Shontra Powell (00:02):
Hey, proven Not Perfect.
This is Shontra Powell.
It's been a minute since I'vetalked to you and you know what
it's actually been really good.
I needed to press pause because, you know, I feel like I was in
such a space of momentum aroundproducing the podcast, doing
the podcast, producing thepodcast, doing the podcast and
(00:29):
allowing myself or rather notallowing myself to hear and to
be led.
So I went on this journey ofwho am I talking to?
How do I add more people to thevillage?
How do I focus on moreconversations?
I started focusing on volumeand in focusing on volume, I
lost completely lost track ofreally what this was about for
(00:56):
me.
I lost track of my own center.
I lost track of why so many ofyou tell me you tune in to
Proven Not Perfect.
In fact, I started as a solopodcaster and more people signed
on and listened actively,repeatedly, as a solo podcaster.
A good bit as well.
(01:18):
Continue to listen to my guests, but what I hear from you is
that you want to talk to me.
So this is a season where, evenwhen I'm talking to guests, I
am not going to lose track ofthe conversation where it comes
from and that's from my heart,with full integrity, just me,
(01:41):
just you, just me, just you,hopefully sharing some things
that inspire you and certainlybenefiting from what happens.
When we put things out therewith the best intentions, I
believe we get best things back.
So that's where we are, so yeah.
So I actually have no idea whenI'm going to release this.
(02:02):
It could be immediately, itcould be, you know, in a little
bit of time, I don't know.
But for the moment I'm justleaning into the movement and
the space to share and toexpress in the way that my
heart's led to do so.
Today I want to talk to youabout self-care, and that
(02:23):
actually has a lot to do withthe pause that I took At the
start of the year.
I literally went into a newleadership position that
expanded my responsibility andexpanded the draw on my energy
(02:47):
and attention.
So actually it didn't expandthat at all.
It actually took away from it.
Okay, get the words right, seanPowell.
So, um, so that was the startof the year, and if that were
the only thing, that wouldprobably have been manageable.
But I also found myself in acaregiver role, needing to be
(03:09):
available and supportive, and Idon't at all regret, I don't at
all find that disappointing inany way.
I'm actually really proud ofhow I was led to just step up
and move into the space.
(03:29):
That was calling me, quitefrankly, and it didn't call me
without some real requirement ofme showing up and showing up
completely and fully, and I'mproud that I did that.
But by the time I got to themonth of April, your girl was
spent, literally spent, had nomore, no more cash in the bank,
(03:54):
no more checks to cash Right.
And for me, even though Icontinue to say it's really
important to do this podcast,it's really important to take
the momentum that's in play andkeep building on it.
The you know the networkingconversations that I were having
they were falling flat.
You know the the guests that Iwas like, okay, I'd like to have
(04:16):
you on Um.
I found them to be greatconversations and great guests,
but I did not find how theyactually fit with the intention
of this platform.
So I am going to share somepretty amazing conversations,
but I'm going to do those infull integrity of also having a
(04:41):
conversation and focusing onwhat is coming up to me as
important conversations to havewith my audience.
So self-care we hear about thisall the time.
We're encouraged to do it allthe time.
And my question is what isself-care?
I don't really think I've seenanybody actually just kind of
(05:04):
spell it out what it is.
So I guess it's really more ofwhat is it to me, slash, what is
it to you?
And we may have the samedefinition.
We may not have the samedefinition.
I'd love to hear yourdefinition.
But for me, I think self-carekind of gets back to my core,
(05:25):
which, at the core, I believe inthe harmony of mind, body and
spirit.
So for me self-care has anelement of body, which is
exercise and purposeful movement.
(05:47):
I'll call it Mind.
It definitely has an element ofintellectual stimulation I will
put meditation there as welland it certainly has a mixture
(06:09):
of spirit and I'm going to callit personal integrity and
groundedness and making surethat I feel that I am living as
extensively as I'm called tolive, because I have my center,
I know my base, I feel groundedEven in this world of so much
movement.
(06:29):
I feel like I have a handle.
So I think it's intention aboutall these things that makes it
self-care for me.
Have you even ever thoughtabout what that definition means
for you?
I don't know If you haven't.
I suggest that you just take alittle bit of time and think
(06:51):
about what does that definitionlook like for you, because I
don't think it's the same forall of us.
I know other people.
Self-care is, quite frankly,retreating from the world in
introspection and, whetherthat's through reading or
writing or, quite frankly, just,you know, choosing to say no to
(07:14):
some of the social invitations,right for a bit of time.
For a bit of time, that mightbe the care that you need.
But unless you are really clearthinking about that, I think
you can find yourself in a spacewhere you are not practicing
self-care and thoughts about whyit's important.
(07:40):
I kind of think it goes with anorder of importance.
I think, actually, it rises inimportance the older we get,
right.
So, you know, when we're youngwe have the ability to truly
multitask, in a way that theolder we get, even though we
(08:01):
think we actually get better atthis skill called multitasking,
I actually think that's not askill at all and I actually
think we don't get better at it,we get worse at it.
Right, like you're a kid, youcan go from thing to thing to
thing, full on energy, bouncingbetween all of it and feeling
great.
The older we get, the more Ifeel we need to center, because
(08:26):
the more complex our life is,the more we actually, I think,
need to center, need to get,still, need to tap in.
I'll say a couple things too.
I think one reason why it'simportant.
You know I'll say a couplethings too.
I think one reason why it'simportant the older we get,
hormonally things are justchanging, they're changing,
(08:58):
they're shifting and you knowthe things that used to be easy,
breezy for us of just goingfrom thing to thing to thing.
Now there are higher stakesthat are at play.
Whether you are caring for somany more folks than just
yourself can increase thatstress, increase that cortisol
increase.
You know that pull and stresson yourself in that regard.
You know, I think it's thehormonal changes right, I mean,
(09:22):
we read and study about stressand it's that high, high
increase of cortisol that, quitefrankly, can take away from all
of the things that we're doingto physically be fit, right.
In fact, you know, I've readthat, you know you can spend so
much time in the gym workinghard and getting physically fit
(09:47):
by way of exercise reps and ifyour stress level is constantly
in fight or flight, you areabsolutely not reaping the full
rewards of that.
In fact, you're probably goingto even go the other direction.
(10:08):
So I think hormonal changes isone reason why.
The other thing that I'm goingto say is I feel like as we get
older, we have less control overthe space that we're keeping.
So you know, I might have acalendar, a day plan that I say
(10:30):
is going to look a certain wayand I'm going to be exactly in
certain places doing exactlycertain things.
Well, the reality is the olderwe get that spacekeeping man, if
you figured out how to actuallyhave that turn out the way you
expected to good on you, you'vegot to share that with this
community.
(10:50):
But for most of us thatspacekeeping gets more
complicated.
The older we get right theirdemands upwards, you know, with
perhaps parents their demandsbelow us, perhaps children their
demands side by side with ourpeer group.
One phone call can change anentire day, one email, one text
(11:16):
message, and so our ability toactually keep the space.
It's fleeting right.
So when you find yourself withspace, it is so important that
you honor that and you use it tofull advantage.
And that doesn't mean in thehustle, right, because sometimes
(11:36):
we feel like when we have thatspace, we should use it in the
hustle of doing something else.
One more bit of work, one moreduty of chores, one more, one
more right?
Maybe, just maybe you shouldjust use it exhaling getting
(11:57):
still.
The last thing I believe forthe why we need it more when we
get older is space making.
So, outside of space keeping, Icall it space making because,
seriously, when you take a goodchunk of time to pour into your
(12:22):
mind, body and spirit, you feelbetter and you feel more
expansive.
Seriously, you make space.
So now that you've kept somespace and you've made some space
(12:43):
, you can really leverage yourcapacity to offer more to
yourself, offer more to othersaround you, your loved ones, the
world.
You're in all the things right,you just are more available.
So that's why I think you needit the older you get.
(13:04):
So just a couple of thoughtsaround how to do it how to do
self-care in the simplest.
How to do it?
How to do self-care in thesimplest, most cost-effective
manner.
Right, I think, walk in nature,and a lot of us do that.
Right, a lot of us do a walk,some of us, walking is our
(13:26):
exercise of choice and I lovethat for you, but I think also
many of us that use walking asour exercise of choice.
(13:48):
This is going to sound crazyfor a podcaster to say, but I
think you have earbuds in and gofor a walk outside and just let
the environment take over, fromthe insects to the birds, to
(14:14):
the speeding cars, to the horns,honking, whatever is, and
reconciling with yourenvironment is a really good way
(14:39):
to have sort of a movingmeditation that I think will
make some space.
The other thing that I'm goingto say is purge, purge actively,
all right, purge actively, allright.
So, purging social mediaaccounts occasionally, where you
realize you followed some folksor some stuff that, quite
(15:01):
frankly, aren't bringing you anyjoy, aren't making any space,
aren't, you know, inspiringthought and energizing your
intellect, right, well, unfollow, that's it, just unfollow.
Purge that right Stagnantplaces around you.
(15:21):
So we all have that closet, weall have those drawers.
Open them up and throw stuffout, bag stuff up, get rid of it
.
Literally, take some time to dothat and I think the purge is
so good, so good y'all, so goodfor the space making.
(15:45):
The last one I'll say is justorganization, right, and we all
know that the older we get, weforget about them notebooks that
we relied upon at the start ofevery single school year, but
there's nothing like a fresh,crisp notebook to open up a
(16:07):
literal blank page and write andgerm.
Just a literal fresh page canbe so healing.
The other thing I would say is acalendar.
Buy a physical calendar.
I know we all have the onlinecalendars that we rely upon to
(16:34):
ding and to ring and to flash inour faces, but I'm going to
tell you this the practice ofwriting in my physical calendar
even if I do it once a week toconsolidate what I see in my
online calendar it is such anexcellent way to physically see
(16:56):
what I'm demanding of myself andthen to physically strike some
stuff off the list.
That's what I'm talking aboutstriking off the list, because
when we really stack it up andlook at it in a black and white
form, you would not wish thattype of existence on your worst
(17:18):
enemy.
So why the heck are you doingit?
That's what I'm talking about.
All right, you guys, that's it.
That's my solo podcast fortoday.
It's all about self-care.
I hope that you're well andyou're blessed and you are
taking care of yourself.
Enjoy Proven, not perfect.
(17:41):
Bye.
Hey, proven Not Perfect.
This is Shontra Powell.
It's been a minute since I'vetalked to you and you know what
it's actually been really good.
I needed to press pause because, you know, I feel like I was in
such a space of momentum aroundproducing the podcast, doing
the podcast, producing thepodcast, doing the podcast and
(00:29):
allowing myself or rather notallowing myself to hear and to
be led.
So I went on this journey ofwho am I talking to?
How do I add more people to thevillage?
How do I focus on moreconversations?
I started focusing on volumeand in focusing on volume, I
lost completely lost track ofreally what this was about for
(00:56):
me.
I lost track of my own center.
I lost track of why so many ofyou tell me you tune in to
Proven Not Perfect.
In fact, I started as a solopodcaster and more people signed
on and listened actively,repeatedly, as a solo podcaster.
A good bit as well.
(01:18):
Continue to listen to my guests, but what I hear from you is
that you want to talk to me.
So this is a season where, evenwhen I'm talking to guests, I
am not going to lose track ofthe conversation where it comes
from and that's from my heart,with full integrity, just me,
(01:41):
just you, just me, just you,hopefully sharing some things
that inspire you and certainlybenefiting from what happens.
When we put things out therewith the best intentions, I
believe we get best things back.
So that's where we are, so yeah.
So I actually have no idea whenI'm going to release this.
(02:02):
It could be immediately, itcould be, you know, in a little
bit of time, I don't know.
But for the moment I'm justleaning into the movement and
the space to share and toexpress in the way that my
heart's led to do so.
Today I want to talk to youabout self-care, and that
(02:23):
actually has a lot to do withthe pause that I took At the
start of the year.
I literally went into a newleadership position that
expanded my responsibility andexpanded the draw on my energy
(02:47):
and attention.
So actually it didn't expandthat at all.
It actually took away from it.
Okay, get the words right, seanPowell.
So, um, so that was the startof the year, and if that were
the only thing, that wouldprobably have been manageable.
But I also found myself in acaregiver role, needing to be
(03:09):
available and supportive, and Idon't at all regret, I don't at
all find that disappointing inany way.
I'm actually really proud ofhow I was led to just step up
and move into the space.
(03:29):
That was calling me, quitefrankly, and it didn't call me
without some real requirement ofme showing up and showing up
completely and fully, and I'mproud that I did that.
But by the time I got to themonth of April, your girl was
spent, literally spent, had nomore, no more cash in the bank,
(03:54):
no more checks to cash Right.
And for me, even though Icontinue to say it's really
important to do this podcast,it's really important to take
the momentum that's in play andkeep building on it.
The you know the networkingconversations that I were having
they were falling flat.
You know the the guests that Iwas like, okay, I'd like to have
(04:16):
you on Um.
I found them to be greatconversations and great guests,
but I did not find how theyactually fit with the intention
of this platform.
So I am going to share somepretty amazing conversations,
but I'm going to do those infull integrity of also having a
(04:41):
conversation and focusing onwhat is coming up to me as
important conversations to havewith my audience.
So self-care we hear about thisall the time.
We're encouraged to do it allthe time.
And my question is what isself-care?
I don't really think I've seenanybody actually just kind of
(05:04):
spell it out what it is.
So I guess it's really more ofwhat is it to me, slash, what is
it to you?
And we may have the samedefinition.
We may not have the samedefinition.
I'd love to hear yourdefinition.
But for me, I think self-carekind of gets back to my core,
(05:25):
which, at the core, I believe inthe harmony of mind, body and
spirit.
So for me self-care has anelement of body, which is
exercise and purposeful movement.
(05:47):
I'll call it Mind.
It definitely has an element ofintellectual stimulation I will
put meditation there as welland it certainly has a mixture
(06:09):
of spirit and I'm going to callit personal integrity and
groundedness and making surethat I feel that I am living as
extensively as I'm called tolive, because I have my center,
I know my base, I feel groundedEven in this world of so much
movement.
(06:29):
I feel like I have a handle.
So I think it's intention aboutall these things that makes it
self-care for me.
Have you even ever thoughtabout what that definition means
for you?
I don't know If you haven't.
I suggest that you just take alittle bit of time and think
(06:51):
about what does that definitionlook like for you, because I
don't think it's the same forall of us.
I know other people.
Self-care is, quite frankly,retreating from the world in
introspection and, whetherthat's through reading or
writing or, quite frankly, just,you know, choosing to say no to
(07:14):
some of the social invitations,right for a bit of time.
For a bit of time, that mightbe the care that you need.
But unless you are really clearthinking about that, I think
you can find yourself in a spacewhere you are not practicing
self-care and thoughts about whyit's important.
(07:40):
I kind of think it goes with anorder of importance.
I think, actually, it rises inimportance the older we get,
right.
So, you know, when we're youngwe have the ability to truly
multitask, in a way that theolder we get, even though we
(08:01):
think we actually get better atthis skill called multitasking,
I actually think that's not askill at all and I actually
think we don't get better at it,we get worse at it.
Right, like you're a kid, youcan go from thing to thing to
thing, full on energy, bouncingbetween all of it and feeling
great.
The older we get, the more Ifeel we need to center, because
(08:26):
the more complex our life is,the more we actually, I think,
need to center, need to get,still, need to tap in.
I'll say a couple things too.
I think one reason why it'simportant.
You know I'll say a couplethings too.
I think one reason why it'simportant the older we get,
hormonally things are justchanging, they're changing,
(08:58):
they're shifting and you knowthe things that used to be easy,
breezy for us of just goingfrom thing to thing to thing.
Now there are higher stakesthat are at play.
Whether you are caring for somany more folks than just
yourself can increase thatstress, increase that cortisol
increase.
You know that pull and stresson yourself in that regard.
You know, I think it's thehormonal changes right, I mean,
(09:22):
we read and study about stressand it's that high, high
increase of cortisol that, quitefrankly, can take away from all
of the things that we're doingto physically be fit, right.
In fact, you know, I've readthat, you know you can spend so
much time in the gym workinghard and getting physically fit
(09:47):
by way of exercise reps and ifyour stress level is constantly
in fight or flight, you areabsolutely not reaping the full
rewards of that.
In fact, you're probably goingto even go the other direction.
(10:08):
So I think hormonal changes isone reason why.
The other thing that I'm goingto say is I feel like as we get
older, we have less control overthe space that we're keeping.
So you know, I might have acalendar, a day plan that I say
(10:30):
is going to look a certain wayand I'm going to be exactly in
certain places doing exactlycertain things.
Well, the reality is the olderwe get that spacekeeping man, if
you figured out how to actuallyhave that turn out the way you
expected to good on you, you'vegot to share that with this
community.
(10:50):
But for most of us thatspacekeeping gets more
complicated.
The older we get right theirdemands upwards, you know, with
perhaps parents their demandsbelow us, perhaps children their
demands side by side with ourpeer group.
One phone call can change anentire day, one email, one text
(11:16):
message, and so our ability toactually keep the space.
It's fleeting right.
So when you find yourself withspace, it is so important that
you honor that and you use it tofull advantage.
And that doesn't mean in thehustle, right, because sometimes
(11:36):
we feel like when we have thatspace, we should use it in the
hustle of doing something else.
One more bit of work, one moreduty of chores, one more, one
more right?
Maybe, just maybe you shouldjust use it exhaling getting
(11:57):
still.
The last thing I believe forthe why we need it more when we
get older is space making.
So, outside of space keeping, Icall it space making because,
seriously, when you take a goodchunk of time to pour into your
(12:22):
mind, body and spirit, you feelbetter and you feel more
expansive.
Seriously, you make space.
So now that you've kept somespace and you've made some space
(12:43):
, you can really leverage yourcapacity to offer more to
yourself, offer more to othersaround you, your loved ones, the
world.
You're in all the things right,you just are more available.
So that's why I think you needit the older you get.
(13:04):
So just a couple of thoughtsaround how to do it how to do
self-care in the simplest.
How to do it?
How to do self-care in thesimplest, most cost-effective
manner.
Right, I think, walk in nature,and a lot of us do that.
Right, a lot of us do a walk,some of us, walking is our
(13:26):
exercise of choice and I lovethat for you, but I think also
many of us that use walking asour exercise of choice.
(13:48):
This is going to sound crazyfor a podcaster to say, but I
think you have earbuds in and gofor a walk outside and just let
the environment take over, fromthe insects to the birds, to
(14:14):
the speeding cars, to the horns,honking, whatever is, and
reconciling with yourenvironment is a really good way
(14:39):
to have sort of a movingmeditation that I think will
make some space.
The other thing that I'm goingto say is purge, purge actively,
all right, purge actively, allright.
So, purging social mediaaccounts occasionally, where you
realize you followed some folksor some stuff that, quite
(15:01):
frankly, aren't bringing you anyjoy, aren't making any space,
aren't, you know, inspiringthought and energizing your
intellect, right, well, unfollow, that's it, just unfollow.
Purge that right Stagnantplaces around you.
(15:21):
So we all have that closet, weall have those drawers.
Open them up and throw stuffout, bag stuff up, get rid of it
.
Literally, take some time to dothat and I think the purge is
so good, so good y'all, so goodfor the space making.
(15:45):
The last one I'll say is justorganization, right, and we all
know that the older we get, weforget about them notebooks that
we relied upon at the start ofevery single school year, but
there's nothing like a fresh,crisp notebook to open up a
(16:07):
literal blank page and write andgerm.
Just a literal fresh page canbe so healing.
The other thing I would say is acalendar.
Buy a physical calendar.
I know we all have the onlinecalendars that we rely upon to
(16:34):
ding and to ring and to flash inour faces, but I'm going to
tell you this the practice ofwriting in my physical calendar
even if I do it once a week toconsolidate what I see in my
online calendar it is such anexcellent way to physically see
(16:56):
what I'm demanding of myself andthen to physically strike some
stuff off the list.
That's what I'm talking aboutstriking off the list, because
when we really stack it up andlook at it in a black and white
form, you would not wish thattype of existence on your worst
(17:18):
enemy.
So why the heck are you doingit?
That's what I'm talking about.
All right, you guys, that's it.
That's my solo podcast fortoday.
It's all about self-care.
I hope that you're well andyou're blessed and you are
taking care of yourself.
Enjoy Proven, not perfect.
(17:41):
Bye.
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