May 11, 2024 • 40 mins
As the sun sets on the eve of Mother's Day, I am overtaken by gratitude for my own Mom and her unwavering strength. I dedicated this podcast to my Mother and all Mothers, and their incredible influence on so many lives.
Adding to this vibe of appreciation is the opportunity to celebrate my long time friend, Author, Stacey E. Harmon, whose debut murder mystery "Fire Starter" is her first of a series of murder mystery stories.
Stacey and I talk about her decision to write this first book during a tough time in her professional career. Stacey shares openly her lessons learned and we unpack key takeaways for anyone who has to navigate this in their own life.
Early career, Mid career, Senior leaders… join us for a conversation of inspiration, creativity, and practical tools.
Enjoy ⚜️
Drive, Ambition, Doing, Leading, Creating... all good until we forget about our own self-care. This Village of All-Stars pays it forward with transparency about misses and celebration in winning. We cover many topics and keep it 100. We are Proven Not Perfect™️
https://www.provennotperfect.com
Follow me on Instagram at: shontrapowell_provennotperfect
Check out Proven Not Perfect ™️ YouTube Channel as well. Join the community for ideas and events at www.provennotperfect.com.
I'd love to hear what you think!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, proven Not Perfect.
This is Chantrapal, your host.
I am so glad that you're herewith me today.
This is a very special daybecause it's the eve of the day
that we celebrate those mommies,those mamas, those mothers,
those grandmothers, thoseaunties, those caretakers in our
world.
I hope that if you are not withyours, that you are full of joy
(00:27):
in your heart for the memory ofthose in your life, and if you
are just logistically far away,I hope that you're sending all
the love that you can.
I know that I'm doing that in myown way with my beautiful
mother, who has set a pace and atone.
(00:50):
I actually start to think aboutwhat are the things that really
stand out for me about my mom,and I recently asked myself what
were the three words, and oneword is grace.
I think that's the first wordfor my mom grace.
When you are in her presence,you just feel such a gracious,
(01:16):
graceful spirit you really do.
She makes you feel warm and athome and almost hugged, quite
frankly.
The next word that I would usefor my mom is inspired.
My mom, I believe from a littlegirl, has had the ability to
(01:38):
see past circumstance and toallow herself to not only be
driven for more, but probably tovision it for herself and to
make it happen, which is thethird word that I see from my
mom, and that's courage.
She's so courageous.
(01:59):
She lost her mom as anadolescent, one of seven kids,
and she was loved by her life.
To still be so committed to herdreams, to be so committed to
(02:31):
her family, to be a lioness,when called to be so, to protect
us oh, my God, I give it to mymom.
So, yeah, my three words for mymom are grace, inspired and
courageous, which is appropriateas we think about proven, not
perfect, and the seven truthsand you know there's seven of
(02:53):
them.
Courage is one of them, and Ithink that one is the one that
underpins the conversation thatI'm going to share with you
today.
It takes courage, y'all, andwe're going to talk about it in
the podcast.
It takes courage to dosomething bold and courageous
that exposes your inner thoughtsto others.
(03:17):
And in this podcast, we'retalking to an author who has not
only birthed the book, writtenthe book, published the book,
but she's launching the bookright now as you listen as I
speak, and it is a good one,y'all.
It's a murder mystery, fictionbook, and I'm so excited that
(03:40):
this is only the beginning.
It's just number one andthere's a series that's being
worked on right now.
The name of the book isFirestarter.
The name of the author is mydear old friend, stacey E Harmon
.
Okay, let's be clear.
She's not old.
She is just one of thosetreasures in my life for so many
(04:04):
years.
And you and that doesn't meanthat you have to talk all the
time I don't know how you guysexplore relationships, but I am
definitely one that goes forquality over quantity.
When we touch base, do weacknowledge that we've both
grown and changed?
Yes.
When we touch base, do wecelebrate the person that
(04:26):
they've become?
Yes.
And when we touch base, do wethink fondly of the memories of
the journey that we shared atsome point in becoming who we
are?
Yes.
So that's how I think aboutquality over quantity.
I don't know how do you thinkabout it?
All right Enough on that one.
(04:47):
This is the podcast with StaceyE Harmon, author, corporate
executive lady, who has a storyto share, not only about
becoming an author, but aboutdealing with those tough times
in your personal andprofessional journey when a
pivot is necessary.
(05:07):
How do you survive?
How do you thrive?
Here we go Proven not perfect.
Hi Stacey, hi Chandra, how areyou?
I'm doing good.
I'm so excited about thispodcast conversation.
This is absolutely one thatI've been looking forward to,
(05:30):
you know, as my home girl.
Right, we go way, way back.
And it really warms my heartwhen I can do podcasts with
people that I have literally hadin my life for gosh, more than
probably 40 years.
I don't know something a lot, Along time.
Maybe I shouldn't have saidthat, Stacey, because some
(05:51):
people are sitting there, likeyou know, those haters that sit
on the curb and they're like,yeah, uh-huh.
Okay, she didn't tell me howold she was, but I figured it
out Exactly Old enough, Doesn'tmatter.
Doesn't matter because you andI both have some beautiful moms
and I think that we give them awhole lot of praise for, you
know, teaching us healthy habitsand it starts with the inside
(06:13):
right.
It starts with the inside.
Your mom is absolutely beautiful, and I know it starts with the
inside, and I feel the sameabout mine.
So, in light of Mother's Dayweekend, I feel like we couldn't
go any further than startingthere.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
So in light of Mother's Day weekend, I feel
like we couldn't go any furtherthan starting there.
Absolutely I agree, and you'reright Both of our moms are
beautiful inside and out.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Beautiful souls, beautiful moms and so glad to
have both of them in our lives.
Amen, amen.
All right.
So today is about you.
Actually, this whole season iskind of about you, is kind of
about you, given this excitingventure that you're doing having
authored your first novel,fiction novel.
(06:53):
This is so epic and major so Ineed to rattle off the
statistics that I took a look atjust to frame for me how big
this is.
Right.
So 81% of people say that theywould like to write a book.
Right, 97% actually start abook and only 3% finish the book
(07:18):
.
That was crazy to me when I gotmy mind around that.
I mean, had you ever thoughtabout the odds?
Or was this?
So not about that?
This was about a story to telland the time to do it.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
This was really about telling the story, getting that
story out.
That creativity was bubbling upin me and had to be told.
I couldn't hold it back and Ididn't even know and I'm so glad
I didn't know the odds, becausethat would have probably been a
deterrent no, it wouldn't.
But those odds are just insane.
(07:56):
And you know it's funny, I evenI spoke with a friend last week
and in fact he said somethingsimilar in terms of he'd always
wanted to write a book and hesaid you know, he knew lots of
people that want to write books,that started and then just
never, never came through.
So that's pretty incredible.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
So when you circle back and you think about because
I think actually exposing yourthoughts is a courageous act,
posing your thoughts is acourageous act and so you know,
with Proven, not Perfect, Ireally do pull from those seven
truths as I get my inspirationfor who I want to talk to and
(08:34):
how I want to host aconversation.
And this topic, really, theinspiration for the whole thing,
is not only inspiration butit's courage.
Right, and I started to unpackthat for myself and I'd love to
get your reaction to this.
Because when I think of writinga book being courageous, what
(08:55):
hits me is you are sharingwhat's in your mind out loud for
people to see, mind out loudfor people to see, for people to
know.
There's no changing it, there'sno hiding it.
So much of what we do is wemanage how we show up and we
control what comes out right.
(09:17):
So folks don't always know whatwe're thinking, but when you
take it out and put it in paper,and you publish it.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
It's out there, but then also all of these negative
things potentially and it reallyyou're really making yourself,
like I said, vulnerable becauseyou're willing to expose all
those things that you arecrafting and letting someone
else take a look at it and makea decision about it, and that
part is difficult.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Stacey, I think that when you say that, the math of
the people that want to do itand actually start it and
actually finish actually makessense, yeah, so where'd the
courage come from?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Well, I tell you, it's quite interesting.
I've been in the insuranceindustry for literally 33 years,
so I started when I was 10, ofcourse, right, of course you did
, of course, and you know what,and with a career for decades.
You know there are lots ofhighs, lots of great things,
(10:39):
lots of goodness, and then, ofcourse, there are lows, like
with any career relationship.
All those things.
And yeah, I've been so fortunatein my career and, and really at
the point where I was adepartment head and being
groomed for executive leadership, one day came the meeting where
(11:01):
there was going to be areorganization within claims and
that's the part of insuranceI'm in and which was a little
surprising not that we had nothad reorganizations before, but
claims is such an integral partof every insurance company.
Yes, and it came very quickly.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
And so tell us, tell folks, what claims is, because
for some people they're reallykind of even learn a little bit
about insurance as they hear youand as they read the book too.
What's the claims part?
Speaker 2 (11:28):
So with claims you have what we call the fire side
and the auto side and auto.
Most people are probablyfamiliar with auto claims.
If you have an accident right,unfortunately we do Then you
would work with an auto adjuster, probably a body shop, and
either get that car replaced,get that car fixed, and that's
part of the easier side ofclaims, not that any of it is
(11:49):
truly easy.
The more complex side is whereI am with what we call fire
claims, where it could behomeowners claims, where you
have a home, fire, water loss,theft, things of that nature,
and it could be the home, couldbe business.
It could be just a wide varyingof claims.
(12:09):
But it's the fire side as wecall it in operations Got it.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
So that's the side that I would imagine requires a
lot of investigation andforensics and, quite frankly, it
sounds kind of exciting.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Exactly, exactly.
Some people think insurance isboring, but actually it's really
not.
Yeah, you really got to putyour thinking cap on.
You're really a trainedinvestigator when you worked in
claims and handling claims.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Yeah, yeah.
So tell us.
So.
You're in, you're in insurance,you're being groomed for
executive leadership.
You find out that they're goingto do a reorganization.
Are you, I'm sure, at thispoint, probably being as
successful as you've been andprobably having, you know, the
support that you must have hadto be so successful for so long?
(12:58):
Were you kind?
Speaker 2 (13:02):
of like okay, this will happen.
But you know, two of my directreports, who were in mid
management, um were um let goand I was level reduced and, uh,
several people were in the sameposition.
Uh, and it was, it was a shock,yeah, significant shock.
Exactly, I was level reducedand it was.
(13:25):
It was a bit of a surprise, abit of a shocker and, frankly,
uh, it hurt it.
It was uh personal for me and,in fact, when that happened, I
sort of went through, uh, thestages of grief.
Frankly, um, because it was, itwas a a huge blow.
Yes and uh, and I had colleaguesof mine, mine who were in
(13:46):
similar situations and they leftacross the country.
They left, and I'm in theAtlanta area and there are lots
of organizations in Atlanta,lots of different career
opportunities, and I sincerelythought about leaving.
And it was my husband who saidyou know what, if you want to
leave at some point, absolutely,but how about we give it some
(14:08):
time.
Don't leave me because you'reemotional, don't leave because
you're upset.
Give it some time and stay withthe organization.
And how about you give it maybea year, which I didn't think I
could, but that's what herecommended.
And so I said, ok, I'll give itsome time.
And he was right, because whathappened was, once I was level
(14:30):
reduced and so took on adifferent role and became really
fully engaged in that position.
It allowed me to take a stepback and it allowed me to say
you know what?
I'm certainly gonna give it myall and give 110% to my career,
but I'm also gonna give 110% tome.
Wow.
And yeah, that's what I decidedto do.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
At that point I think there's so much that you just
said.
You know, I think of this newgeneration where for them they
bring a whole different mindsetinto the workplace, where almost
from the start, they're focusedon their corporate career and
(15:17):
they're cultivating theirpassion, which may or may not
coincide with that right,whereas generationally that
wasn't a thing for Gen X right.
For Gen X we really came offthat baby boomer approach and we
actually thought that we hadthe option of staying in one
(15:38):
place for the rest of our careerif we chose to do it for the
rest of our career, if we choseto do it right.
Mentors were formalrelationships, sponsorship was
absolutely an ingrained thingand it was almost like this
chain, this chain of support,that you sort of ascended.
So I can definitely appreciatewhere, if you're one of the ones
(16:02):
, unlike me, that actuallystayed loyal to one brand for
all those years, that would be ablow.
And I love that you shared thepart of grieving, because I
think that too often we putourselves in this really unfair
position where we believe thatgrief is only tied to death.
(16:24):
Right, and maybe it is tied todeath, but that death doesn't
always have to be a human soul,right, it can be death of dream,
it can be death of opportunity,it could be death of so many
things and I love that youframed it of so many things and
I love that you framed it and Ialso love that you partnered
(16:48):
well, because your partner, youknow, probably when you didn't
have the capacity to know whatthe options really were, outside
of just being pissed off, quitefrankly, and moving on, he gave
you that coaching to say, staystill, at least just for a
little bit of time.
I love all of that, all of that.
(17:09):
And then the pivot, and thenthe pivot.
So okay, so now you're, you'rethere.
This has happened.
You're in this for a year.
You're reframing how you thinkabout it and where does a book
come from?
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Well, when I and you're right, I did the pivot
and started focusing more on me.
So at that point I decided toget a personal trainer and lost
50 pounds.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
You look beautiful.
She always did so, let's justbe clear there.
But she's hot.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Thank you, thank you.
Well, I decided to get seriousright and so I did that.
I started taking up tennis andI always I'm an avid reader love
to read.
I love reading murder mysteries, as my sister and I call it
murder, death, kill as my sisterand I call it murder, death,
(18:07):
kill.
And in fact, when COVID hit mysister, my niece and I started a
small book club and we wouldmeet by Zoom every week and talk
about the books we were reading.
And here's the funny thing mysister always figured out who
the killer was after about 10pages, and it just drove us
crazy.
So I decided you know what?
I'm reading these books, I lovethese books, I have a passion
(18:29):
for reading, for writing, and Iknew that I had something to
offer, and so I decided you knowwhat?
I'm going to write a story andI'm going to pull out all of
this that's within me and createsomething that hasn't been told
in the way that I'm thinkingand the way that I want it to be
told, and so that's what Istarted writing on, and it took
(18:53):
me about two years to pull itout and to pull it together and
there'd be times when it justflowed and I'd be typing away
and there were times when Ithought, oh my goodness, I have
no idea what's coming next.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
So is it like that?
So I often wonder, because Ilove mysteries.
The last series that I read wasPamela Thomas King, the Blue
Blood Mysteries.
She was a GE executive,beautiful, beautiful woman, and
just a baddie in business, butman, she wrote these amazing
(19:29):
mysteries.
That really got me thinking andI often wonder.
So when you're pulling thisbrilliance out, are you yourself
sort of letting the charactersposition themselves and tell you
where they're going?
How does tell me the mind of amurder, kill mystery person who
(19:52):
I thought I knew?
And, oh my God, after all theseyears, I'm not sure.
On the girl's trip, I'm keepingthe lights on.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Don't worry, it's all fiction.
You know you're on to somethingthere, because I did.
I let the characters develop, Icreate the characters, and it
wasn't until several chapters inthat the killer revealed
himself to me.
I did not know who the killerwas until that is so epic.
(20:24):
Yes, and so they had to revealthemselves, and I think that's
why, in talking to people whoare reading my book, uh fire
starter, that they tell me youknow what.
There's so many twists andturns.
I had no idea, ultimately, whoit was until the time that that
person was revealed.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Wow, oh my gosh.
So so I am.
This is a good time for thecommercial break.
So, firestarter, you have gotto order this book by Stacey E
Harmon.
The illustration is absolutelybeautiful.
The book is an easy, engagingread.
(21:04):
You can see where I'm at withall the things.
I have not gotten nearly as far,but that's what Mother's Day
weekend is for and I'mdefinitely looking forward to
going.
It's got me pulled in, I think.
For me, me the brilliance totake your career as a leader in
(21:33):
this industry insurance fire andallow a story to reveal itself
from that is absolutelybrilliant.
Of course, that's brilliantcreatively, and we'll talk about
that more, but it's alsobrilliant professionally because
if we double click and rememberhere, it is essentially for a
lot of people the rug was takenfrom underneath you as far as
your vision of where your feetwould be and how they would be
(21:56):
and what, how they wouldflourish.
Right, and you stayed and youallowed yourself to, I'm sure,
do a great job where you are andstart to unfold this story.
And I bet and I'd love to getyour thoughts on this, I bet
that in doing so you brought newenergy to the place where you
(22:18):
were, because you were gettingthat outlet, I'm guessing you
were getting that outlet.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I just I'm guessing, is that off or no?
No, you're, you're absolutelyright.
It because I was.
I was getting to a point whereI was engaged at work and doing
something different with it, andso relearning some things that
I almost unlearned, right, andof course you've got to learn,
unlearn and relearn and soalways.
And so I was at that place butit just I wasn't the.
The creativity and all of thethings that I was bringing to
(22:51):
the table before just weren'tthere for a while.
And and you know what?
And people talk about work-lifebalance.
I don't believe in work-lifebalance.
I don't think there's really acertain thing.
I do believe in work-lifebalance.
I don't think there's really acertain thing.
I do believe in work-lifeintegration.
And so for me, I had to figureout what was the right work-life
integration for me, and so Iwas able to pull some of all of
(23:17):
the knowledge and the learningsthat I had with my insurance
career and put that into reallycreative use into this book,
because with the book, it isbased on a family owning an
insurance company and all ofthese things happening based on
that, and so there is a lot ofknowledge that I bring in to
(23:38):
this book based on my career,and I couldn't have done that if
I wasn't re-engaged and reallyfocused in on my career.
I wouldn't have been able to dothat in the right way.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
You couldn't have done that if you hadn't
completely changed your storyabout the place where you were,
even in your journey.
Right, like I'm sorry.
I hope every mid, late, earlycareer person that's listening
to this is really listening tothis, because there will be rugs
(24:14):
pulled.
It will happen.
If you choose a career in anyorganization, and that can be
corporate, that can be academic,it can be all things in between
medical, anything right, itwill happen.
Please trust our words.
The trick is how do you receivewhat's happening and what story
(24:35):
do you put around it?
And, like Stacey said, whatdoes integration look like when
you make a decision?
Right, there's so much there,that's like a whole masterclass
that I think maybe you and Ishould do, because that is
brilliant and we need to unpackthat.
(24:56):
But we also need to unpack thisnovel.
So, all right, so you've gotthis family and they are talking
to you and they are, you know,right, when we start the book
and they are talking to you andthey are, you know, right, when
we start the book, it reallypulls us in because you've got
you know this one very nervoussister.
You've got one dead sister,you've got you know so, and I'm
(25:16):
not spoiling anything Like.
It's like it from the jump.
You've got this, you knowextended relationship.
That's been around for a longtime, this extended relationship
that's been around for a longtime.
You've got this call from thisother person that we don't quite
know who he is yet, but heseems to be on the police force,
seems to have some relationshipwith one of the sisters.
(25:39):
It's so much that you're justlike, oh my God, you hit us in
the beginning with so muchcharacter.
I'm going to say charactercuriosity, right, yeah, that's
really how I think about it.
So you know, I'm really lookingforward to continuing to
explore those things more.
Okay, so when did you know whenthe character started speaking
(26:02):
to you that would be your heroand your villain?
When they started speaking toyou, when did you know that you
would take them to a crescendoand it was over?
Or are we going to see a series?
Speaker 2 (26:20):
We are going to see a series.
Yes, yes, but I'll say thisbecause, as I mentioned, I love
to read.
Uh, but what I hate when I reada great story is that there's
this cliffhanger and you're justlike, no, please don't do that.
So this book.
You have the answers.
(26:40):
Oh, you finished the book.
You know what has happened wewill know.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
We will know when we get to the end of this I'll be
able to like, inhale, exhale,breathe and at least be complete
in this moment, okay yes, youwill, but it's clear, it's going
to be clear to you that thereis more to come.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Okay, oh you have your answers, but then you know,
okay, there's more to thisstory.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
So are you working on ?
Okay?
So here's another author story.
All right, a question that alot of us have, especially with
our fiction fictionalist Are youwriting while this is sitting
with us?
I am?
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Inside school?
Okay, I am, and so it's.
It's interesting becauseobviously I just published this
book, so excited about this bookand really just getting it out
there in so many ways.
And uh, and this is this bookis my first baby, this is my
baby, yeah, and uh, and I cansay that it's funny mother's day
.
Yeah, I don't have any children.
(27:45):
I've got one big baby, myhusband, that's it.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
And so this, and a very fit one too.
As you know, the apple doesn'tfall too far, because Stace's
husband is pretty phenomenal andpretty acclaimed himself in
things outside of corporaterealm as well, I think.
What is it?
Bodybuilding?
Yes, he is.
I was gonna say wrestling and Iwas like I love voice.
(28:14):
I don't think he's wrestling,he's bodybuilding and he's won
titles right.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Yes, he's a professional bodybuilder.
So as an amateur he was MrGeorgia, he won Mr Florida, he
won several contests, and he didthat before we married.
And then we married he stoppedand just stayed in shape and he
is retired now.
And so when he retired he saidyou know what?
I want to go back to competing,but I want to earn what they
(28:45):
call my pro card so I cancompete professionally.
So he resumed competing inamateur contest, won his pro
card.
You've got to win certaincontests to earn a pro card.
He did that and now he is aprofessional bodybuilder.
And here's the kicker he is 66and has competed and won against
men who have been 10 to 15years younger than him.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Wow, so seriously when we say partner well for
executive coaching and mindset,you did because he's been
utilizing and I feel like I'vedone the same honestly, because
when you are connected to aprofessional athlete, I think in
any realm the mentality that isjust coursing through their DNA
(29:28):
is one that processes hurdleslike no other brains I know
right and they manage pivots andthey see past challenges,
literally see past them.
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
All right, terrell, you got your commercial break.
Now back to the scheduledprogramming.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
That's right, agreed no-transcript you know, I I did
(30:15):
think about it and immediatelyruled it out.
That was way too vulnerableright, exactly, I wasn't ready
to go there.
I figured, you know what, letme, uh, put something else out
that is still vulnerable.
Uh, because it's about me, mythoughts, but I wasn't ready to
take that leap that may be inthe future.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
I wasn't ready to take that leap that may be in
the future.
Yes, yes, it is.
It's a real thing for sure.
Wow, okay, so what are your keytakeaways in launching this
book, when you think about whatit takes to do so, what are your
key takeaways that you wouldshare with somebody?
Speaker 2 (30:57):
I would say the first thing is and frankly I think
about this in life, so I'm goingto prescribe it to the book but
frankly, and just abouteverything that's important to
you, important to me, importantto those who are listening, is
that it's not enough to bemotivated, because sometimes
you're not motivated.
Right, you've got to bedisciplined, and and I didn't
(31:20):
I'm not the the author of thosewords, I've heard it so many
times.
My husband feels that way withhis professional career You've
got to be disciplined and you'vegot to be committed, because
you won't always be motivated todo it.
Yes, yes.
And so that, for me, that's abig piece that kept me going.
You know it may be just right.
Commitment and discipline,commitment and discipline, for
(31:45):
sure.
And then I think you've got toask yourself why am I doing this
?
What's your why, girl?
Yes, what is your why?
And that answer is differentfor all of us.
And so you've got to thinkthrough what is your why?
And if you don't have a why,then maybe this is not the
course for you, and that's okay.
Right, everybody's not meant towrite a book, as you stated,
(32:07):
those statistics earlier on.
Everybody doesn't do it, it'snot for everybody.
But think about what is yourwhy?
I would say for sure.
And then I would say the lastthing is you know what?
Don't put pressure on yourself.
Enjoy the process, enjoy it, gothrough it, experience it.
With me writing this book, itwas a lot of fun and it was a
(32:28):
lot of hard work, but Iabsolutely enjoyed writing this
and I absolutely enjoyed gettingto know these characters better
.
You know what I will close itwith.
I'll say this because I harassmy mother, my sister.
I would feed them three or fourchaps at a time.
What?
Speaker 1 (32:44):
do you think about this?
What do you think about this?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
And so when they finally finished the first draft
and it was all said and done,my mother said the best thing
that she could have said.
I don't even realize she knewhow much it impacted me.
She said I'm going to missthese people is what she said,
and that was just profound.
I knew, when she said that,that I was writing the right
(33:08):
book.
I was on the right track.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Wow, I can't even say anything to that.
I do want to acknowledge thatsomeone's listening to this
Stacey and they are themselvesconsidering how to be in that 3%
number and they're unpackingsome of your guidance, of
commitment and dedication.
Are there any things that workfor you?
(33:32):
Because many people are writingaround a work schedule?
So do you set a timer?
Do you set a time of day Likeare there any practical tips
that someone's like how do Imake this vision come to life?
Around you know, working,wifing, momming, whatever
they're doing.
Is there some tip for that thathelps?
Speaker 2 (33:53):
us, yeah, I would say .
And of course we're alldifferent, right, and we all
have different work experiences,family experiences, so it
everybody doesn't fall into thesame spot.
But I think it's important tosit down and say you know what,
I am going to dedicate X time,whether it's you're writing
three times a week and whetherit's at night.
(34:14):
You say you know what, I'mgoing to make sure that I write
for an hour, or whether it's theweekend, whatever it is, try to
commit to a certain time andforgive yourself if it doesn't
work, because life happens, butlife happens.
But then don't continue to letsome of those things get in the
way.
So if life happens and gets inthe way this week, okay, fine,
(34:36):
you know what, blow it off.
And then, okay, fine, you knowwhat, blow it off.
And then, but next week you gotto power through, next week you
got to keep going back untilyou are able to catch up and
continue to write your book orcontinue to really focus in on
your passion, because thatstory's there, that story's
inside, and if you want to tellit, don't let anything pull you
(34:59):
out of telling it.
And it's okay if it takes youtwo years, three years, five
years.
If you've got that passion andthat story to tell, then let
that story unfold and keepfocusing on it.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Wow, wow.
And then the last one I'd askis regarding the why last one
I'd ask is regarding the why.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
What's your why?
You know for me.
The why sort of comes back tothe courage piece, and with what
I went through professionally,I had to recognize that it was
time to focus on myself.
And I had determined what wasit that was going to make me
whole and I recognized I neededto pull this out.
I needed this for me, I need todo this for me and that's why I
(35:47):
did it Okay.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
So I have to read the back of this book.
Determination becomes obsessionand then it becomes all that
matters.
Jeremy Irvine had this to sayabout the book the Devereaux
siblings are young, talentedentrepreneurs running a
successful insurance company.
That success is tested as aseries of unimaginable events
(36:10):
surround them.
London, her sister Remy andtheir brother Luke evoke
feelings of immense loyalty fromthose close to them.
But some aren't loyalists andeveryone isn't quite who they
appear to be.
Someone despises them enough tocommit arson against their
company.
When that doesn't hurt enough,the consequences turn deadly for
(36:33):
one of them.
The police are struggling tofind the perpetrators.
Hello, can I read forcing thesiblings to take matters into
their own hands?
Can they survive or will theysuccumb to the fire starter?
Oh my God, stace, you did that,girl.
(36:53):
I couldn't be more proud of you.
I'm super excited for thejourney of the book.
I'm looking forward to beingwith you there on the journey.
You got to come to SouthFlorida and do a book signing
you know what.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
You're right.
I'm doing one in Atlanta veryshortly planning one in New
Orleans.
But you're right, maybe I couldlook into coming down to
Florida as well.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
I would love to be a part of that decision.
So let's talk about that andalso let me know all the dates,
and do you have any other datesalready that you can let people
know, in case they're hearingthis this weekend and want to
participate?
Speaker 2 (37:29):
Sure, Well, for Atlanta it's very soon.
It's going to be Thursday, may16th.
In Alpharetta, georgia, in NewOrleans we're finalizing it now,
so it's not quite on the books,but it should be June 28th.
Excellent, so very excitedabout it.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
But more to come.
Is there a website that folkscan?
Or social media?
How can people tap into thesocial side of who you are and
what's happening?
Speaker 2 (37:58):
I do have an Instagram account, and so it
definitely pulled me up onInstagram.
Stacey Harmon, and gosh, youknow what I'm, so used to it.
I think it's Stacey Harmon 5359.
But look me up, you'll see.
Excellent, excellent.
I've got the book on there andcertainly Facebook as well,
working on a website as we speak.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
See, this is what happens when success starts
pulling you right.
It's like you're putting allthe pieces.
I honestly feel that same wayabout the podcast.
Even though it's been a minute,it's been such a thing that you
know, I've been like, okay, I'mdoing it because of passion,
not because it's, you know, sortof structured and you know all
(38:41):
those things.
And I'm doing it because ofpassion, not because it's, you
know, sort of structured and youknow all those things, and I'm
being pulled to do that ratherquickly, and so it's pretty neat
to start putting that meat onthe bones Right.
So, so good.
Well, again, all success.
I'm sure that this is going tobe amazing.
Godspeed to you and all of this, and keep being courageous and
fighting the good fight andtelling your story, your
personal story, because I thinkone of the things that I would
just double click on before weleave it is incredible that you
(39:04):
produce something so beautifulout of a time that was so hard.
Thank you, shantra, I certainlyappreciate it.
So proud of you.
Love you, girl, love you too.
Hey, proven Not Perfect.
This is Chantrapal, your host.
I am so glad that you're herewith me today.
This is a very special daybecause it's the eve of the day
that we celebrate those mommies,those mamas, those mothers,
those grandmothers, thoseaunties, those caretakers in our
world.
I hope that if you are not withyours, that you are full of joy
(00:27):
in your heart for the memory ofthose in your life, and if you
are just logistically far away,I hope that you're sending all
the love that you can.
I know that I'm doing that in myown way with my beautiful
mother, who has set a pace and atone.
(00:50):
I actually start to think aboutwhat are the things that really
stand out for me about my mom,and I recently asked myself what
were the three words, and oneword is grace.
I think that's the first wordfor my mom grace.
When you are in her presence,you just feel such a gracious,
(01:16):
graceful spirit you really do.
She makes you feel warm and athome and almost hugged, quite
frankly.
The next word that I would usefor my mom is inspired.
My mom, I believe from a littlegirl, has had the ability to
(01:38):
see past circumstance and toallow herself to not only be
driven for more, but probably tovision it for herself and to
make it happen, which is thethird word that I see from my
mom, and that's courage.
She's so courageous.
(01:59):
She lost her mom as anadolescent, one of seven kids,
and she was loved by her life.
To still be so committed to herdreams, to be so committed to
(02:31):
her family, to be a lioness,when called to be so, to protect
us oh, my God, I give it to mymom.
So, yeah, my three words for mymom are grace, inspired and
courageous, which is appropriateas we think about proven, not
perfect, and the seven truthsand you know there's seven of
(02:53):
them.
Courage is one of them, and Ithink that one is the one that
underpins the conversation thatI'm going to share with you
today.
It takes courage, y'all, andwe're going to talk about it in
the podcast.
It takes courage to dosomething bold and courageous
that exposes your inner thoughtsto others.
(03:17):
And in this podcast, we'retalking to an author who has not
only birthed the book, writtenthe book, published the book,
but she's launching the bookright now as you listen as I
speak, and it is a good one,y'all.
It's a murder mystery, fictionbook, and I'm so excited that
(03:40):
this is only the beginning.
It's just number one andthere's a series that's being
worked on right now.
The name of the book isFirestarter.
The name of the author is mydear old friend, stacey E Harmon
.
Okay, let's be clear.
She's not old.
She is just one of thosetreasures in my life for so many
(04:04):
years.
And you and that doesn't meanthat you have to talk all the
time I don't know how you guysexplore relationships, but I am
definitely one that goes forquality over quantity.
When we touch base, do weacknowledge that we've both
grown and changed?
Yes.
When we touch base, do wecelebrate the person that
(04:26):
they've become?
Yes.
And when we touch base, do wethink fondly of the memories of
the journey that we shared atsome point in becoming who we
are?
Yes.
So that's how I think aboutquality over quantity.
I don't know how do you thinkabout it?
All right Enough on that one.
(04:47):
This is the podcast with StaceyE Harmon, author, corporate
executive lady, who has a storyto share, not only about
becoming an author, but aboutdealing with those tough times
in your personal andprofessional journey when a
pivot is necessary.
(05:07):
How do you survive?
How do you thrive?
Here we go Proven not perfect.
Hi Stacey, hi Chandra, how areyou?
I'm doing good.
I'm so excited about thispodcast conversation.
This is absolutely one thatI've been looking forward to,
(05:30):
you know, as my home girl.
Right, we go way, way back.
And it really warms my heartwhen I can do podcasts with
people that I have literally hadin my life for gosh, more than
probably 40 years.
I don't know something a lot, Along time.
Maybe I shouldn't have saidthat, Stacey, because some
(05:51):
people are sitting there, likeyou know, those haters that sit
on the curb and they're like,yeah, uh-huh.
Okay, she didn't tell me howold she was, but I figured it
out Exactly Old enough, Doesn'tmatter.
Doesn't matter because you andI both have some beautiful moms
and I think that we give them awhole lot of praise for, you
know, teaching us healthy habitsand it starts with the inside
(06:13):
right.
It starts with the inside.
Your mom is absolutely beautiful, and I know it starts with the
inside, and I feel the sameabout mine.
So, in light of Mother's Dayweekend, I feel like we couldn't
go any further than startingthere.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
So in light of Mother's Day weekend, I feel
like we couldn't go any furtherthan starting there.
Absolutely I agree, and you'reright Both of our moms are
beautiful inside and out.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Beautiful souls, beautiful moms and so glad to
have both of them in our lives.
Amen, amen.
All right.
So today is about you.
Actually, this whole season iskind of about you, is kind of
about you, given this excitingventure that you're doing having
authored your first novel,fiction novel.
(06:53):
This is so epic and major so Ineed to rattle off the
statistics that I took a look atjust to frame for me how big
this is.
Right.
So 81% of people say that theywould like to write a book.
Right, 97% actually start abook and only 3% finish the book
(07:18):
.
That was crazy to me when I gotmy mind around that.
I mean, had you ever thoughtabout the odds?
Or was this?
So not about that?
This was about a story to telland the time to do it.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
This was really about telling the story, getting that
story out.
That creativity was bubbling upin me and had to be told.
I couldn't hold it back and Ididn't even know and I'm so glad
I didn't know the odds, becausethat would have probably been a
deterrent no, it wouldn't.
But those odds are just insane.
(07:56):
And you know it's funny, I evenI spoke with a friend last week
and in fact he said somethingsimilar in terms of he'd always
wanted to write a book and hesaid you know, he knew lots of
people that want to write books,that started and then just
never, never came through.
So that's pretty incredible.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
So when you circle back and you think about because
I think actually exposing yourthoughts is a courageous act,
posing your thoughts is acourageous act and so you know,
with Proven, not Perfect, Ireally do pull from those seven
truths as I get my inspirationfor who I want to talk to and
(08:34):
how I want to host aconversation.
And this topic, really, theinspiration for the whole thing,
is not only inspiration butit's courage.
Right, and I started to unpackthat for myself and I'd love to
get your reaction to this.
Because when I think of writinga book being courageous, what
(08:55):
hits me is you are sharingwhat's in your mind out loud for
people to see, mind out loudfor people to see, for people to
know.
There's no changing it, there'sno hiding it.
So much of what we do is wemanage how we show up and we
control what comes out right.
(09:17):
So folks don't always know whatwe're thinking, but when you
take it out and put it in paper,and you publish it.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
It's out there, but then also all of these negative
things potentially and it reallyyou're really making yourself,
like I said, vulnerable becauseyou're willing to expose all
those things that you arecrafting and letting someone
else take a look at it and makea decision about it, and that
part is difficult.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Stacey, I think that when you say that, the math of
the people that want to do itand actually start it and
actually finish actually makessense, yeah, so where'd the
courage come from?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Well, I tell you, it's quite interesting.
I've been in the insuranceindustry for literally 33 years,
so I started when I was 10, ofcourse, right, of course you did
, of course, and you know what,and with a career for decades.
You know there are lots ofhighs, lots of great things,
(10:39):
lots of goodness, and then, ofcourse, there are lows, like
with any career relationship.
All those things.
And yeah, I've been so fortunatein my career and, and really at
the point where I was adepartment head and being
groomed for executive leadership, one day came the meeting where
(11:01):
there was going to be areorganization within claims and
that's the part of insuranceI'm in and which was a little
surprising not that we had nothad reorganizations before, but
claims is such an integral partof every insurance company.
Yes, and it came very quickly.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
And so tell us, tell folks, what claims is, because
for some people they're reallykind of even learn a little bit
about insurance as they hear youand as they read the book too.
What's the claims part?
Speaker 2 (11:28):
So with claims you have what we call the fire side
and the auto side and auto.
Most people are probablyfamiliar with auto claims.
If you have an accident right,unfortunately we do Then you
would work with an auto adjuster, probably a body shop, and
either get that car replaced,get that car fixed, and that's
part of the easier side ofclaims, not that any of it is
(11:49):
truly easy.
The more complex side is whereI am with what we call fire
claims, where it could behomeowners claims, where you
have a home, fire, water loss,theft, things of that nature,
and it could be the home, couldbe business.
It could be just a wide varyingof claims.
(12:09):
But it's the fire side as wecall it in operations Got it.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
So that's the side that I would imagine requires a
lot of investigation andforensics and, quite frankly, it
sounds kind of exciting.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Exactly, exactly.
Some people think insurance isboring, but actually it's really
not.
Yeah, you really got to putyour thinking cap on.
You're really a trainedinvestigator when you worked in
claims and handling claims.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Yeah, yeah.
So tell us.
So.
You're in, you're in insurance,you're being groomed for
executive leadership.
You find out that they're goingto do a reorganization.
Are you, I'm sure, at thispoint, probably being as
successful as you've been andprobably having, you know, the
support that you must have hadto be so successful for so long?
(12:58):
Were you kind?
Speaker 2 (13:02):
of like okay, this will happen.
But you know, two of my directreports, who were in mid
management, um were um let goand I was level reduced and, uh,
several people were in the sameposition.
Uh, and it was, it was a shock,yeah, significant shock.
Exactly, I was level reducedand it was.
(13:25):
It was a bit of a surprise, abit of a shocker and, frankly,
uh, it hurt it.
It was uh personal for me and,in fact, when that happened, I
sort of went through, uh, thestages of grief.
Frankly, um, because it was, itwas a a huge blow.
Yes and uh, and I had colleaguesof mine, mine who were in
(13:46):
similar situations and they leftacross the country.
They left, and I'm in theAtlanta area and there are lots
of organizations in Atlanta,lots of different career
opportunities, and I sincerelythought about leaving.
And it was my husband who saidyou know what, if you want to
leave at some point, absolutely,but how about we give it some
(14:08):
time.
Don't leave me because you'reemotional, don't leave because
you're upset.
Give it some time and stay withthe organization.
And how about you give it maybea year, which I didn't think I
could, but that's what herecommended.
And so I said, ok, I'll give itsome time.
And he was right, because whathappened was, once I was level
(14:30):
reduced and so took on adifferent role and became really
fully engaged in that position.
It allowed me to take a stepback and it allowed me to say
you know what?
I'm certainly gonna give it myall and give 110% to my career,
but I'm also gonna give 110% tome.
Wow.
And yeah, that's what I decidedto do.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
At that point I think there's so much that you just
said.
You know, I think of this newgeneration where for them they
bring a whole different mindsetinto the workplace, where almost
from the start, they're focusedon their corporate career and
(15:17):
they're cultivating theirpassion, which may or may not
coincide with that right,whereas generationally that
wasn't a thing for Gen X right.
For Gen X we really came offthat baby boomer approach and we
actually thought that we hadthe option of staying in one
(15:38):
place for the rest of our careerif we chose to do it for the
rest of our career, if we choseto do it right.
Mentors were formalrelationships, sponsorship was
absolutely an ingrained thingand it was almost like this
chain, this chain of support,that you sort of ascended.
So I can definitely appreciatewhere, if you're one of the ones
(16:02):
, unlike me, that actuallystayed loyal to one brand for
all those years, that would be ablow.
And I love that you shared thepart of grieving, because I
think that too often we putourselves in this really unfair
position where we believe thatgrief is only tied to death.
(16:24):
Right, and maybe it is tied todeath, but that death doesn't
always have to be a human soul,right, it can be death of dream,
it can be death of opportunity,it could be death of so many
things and I love that youframed it of so many things and
I love that you framed it and Ialso love that you partnered
(16:48):
well, because your partner, youknow, probably when you didn't
have the capacity to know whatthe options really were, outside
of just being pissed off, quitefrankly, and moving on, he gave
you that coaching to say, staystill, at least just for a
little bit of time.
I love all of that, all of that.
(17:09):
And then the pivot, and thenthe pivot.
So okay, so now you're, you'rethere.
This has happened.
You're in this for a year.
You're reframing how you thinkabout it and where does a book
come from?
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Well, when I and you're right, I did the pivot
and started focusing more on me.
So at that point I decided toget a personal trainer and lost
50 pounds.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
You look beautiful.
She always did so, let's justbe clear there.
But she's hot.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Thank you, thank you.
Well, I decided to get seriousright and so I did that.
I started taking up tennis andI always I'm an avid reader love
to read.
I love reading murder mysteries, as my sister and I call it
murder, death, kill as my sisterand I call it murder, death,
(18:07):
kill.
And in fact, when COVID hit mysister, my niece and I started a
small book club and we wouldmeet by Zoom every week and talk
about the books we were reading.
And here's the funny thing mysister always figured out who
the killer was after about 10pages, and it just drove us
crazy.
So I decided you know what?
I'm reading these books, I lovethese books, I have a passion
(18:29):
for reading, for writing, and Iknew that I had something to
offer, and so I decided you knowwhat?
I'm going to write a story andI'm going to pull out all of
this that's within me and createsomething that hasn't been told
in the way that I'm thinkingand the way that I want it to be
told, and so that's what Istarted writing on, and it took
(18:53):
me about two years to pull itout and to pull it together and
there'd be times when it justflowed and I'd be typing away
and there were times when Ithought, oh my goodness, I have
no idea what's coming next.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
So is it like that?
So I often wonder, because Ilove mysteries.
The last series that I read wasPamela Thomas King, the Blue
Blood Mysteries.
She was a GE executive,beautiful, beautiful woman, and
just a baddie in business, butman, she wrote these amazing
(19:29):
mysteries.
That really got me thinking andI often wonder.
So when you're pulling thisbrilliance out, are you yourself
sort of letting the charactersposition themselves and tell you
where they're going?
How does tell me the mind of amurder, kill mystery person who
(19:52):
I thought I knew?
And, oh my God, after all theseyears, I'm not sure.
On the girl's trip, I'm keepingthe lights on.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Don't worry, it's all fiction.
You know you're on to somethingthere, because I did.
I let the characters develop, Icreate the characters, and it
wasn't until several chapters inthat the killer revealed
himself to me.
I did not know who the killerwas until that is so epic.
(20:24):
Yes, and so they had to revealthemselves, and I think that's
why, in talking to people whoare reading my book, uh fire
starter, that they tell me youknow what.
There's so many twists andturns.
I had no idea, ultimately, whoit was until the time that that
person was revealed.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Wow, oh my gosh.
So so I am.
This is a good time for thecommercial break.
So, firestarter, you have gotto order this book by Stacey E
Harmon.
The illustration is absolutelybeautiful.
The book is an easy, engagingread.
(21:04):
You can see where I'm at withall the things.
I have not gotten nearly as far,but that's what Mother's Day
weekend is for and I'mdefinitely looking forward to
going.
It's got me pulled in, I think.
For me, me the brilliance totake your career as a leader in
(21:33):
this industry insurance fire andallow a story to reveal itself
from that is absolutelybrilliant.
Of course, that's brilliantcreatively, and we'll talk about
that more, but it's alsobrilliant professionally because
if we double click and rememberhere, it is essentially for a
lot of people the rug was takenfrom underneath you as far as
your vision of where your feetwould be and how they would be
(21:56):
and what, how they wouldflourish.
Right, and you stayed and youallowed yourself to, I'm sure,
do a great job where you are andstart to unfold this story.
And I bet and I'd love to getyour thoughts on this, I bet
that in doing so you brought newenergy to the place where you
(22:18):
were, because you were gettingthat outlet, I'm guessing you
were getting that outlet.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I just I'm guessing, is that off or no?
No, you're, you're absolutelyright.
It because I was.
I was getting to a point whereI was engaged at work and doing
something different with it, andso relearning some things that
I almost unlearned, right, andof course you've got to learn,
unlearn and relearn and soalways.
And so I was at that place butit just I wasn't the.
The creativity and all of thethings that I was bringing to
(22:51):
the table before just weren'tthere for a while.
And and you know what?
And people talk about work-lifebalance.
I don't believe in work-lifebalance.
I don't think there's really acertain thing.
I do believe in work-lifebalance.
I don't think there's really acertain thing.
I do believe in work-lifeintegration.
And so for me, I had to figureout what was the right work-life
integration for me, and so Iwas able to pull some of all of
(23:17):
the knowledge and the learningsthat I had with my insurance
career and put that into reallycreative use into this book,
because with the book, it isbased on a family owning an
insurance company and all ofthese things happening based on
that, and so there is a lot ofknowledge that I bring in to
(23:38):
this book based on my career,and I couldn't have done that if
I wasn't re-engaged and reallyfocused in on my career.
I wouldn't have been able to dothat in the right way.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
You couldn't have done that if you hadn't
completely changed your storyabout the place where you were,
even in your journey.
Right, like I'm sorry.
I hope every mid, late, earlycareer person that's listening
to this is really listening tothis, because there will be rugs
(24:14):
pulled.
It will happen.
If you choose a career in anyorganization, and that can be
corporate, that can be academic,it can be all things in between
medical, anything right, itwill happen.
Please trust our words.
The trick is how do you receivewhat's happening and what story
(24:35):
do you put around it?
And, like Stacey said, whatdoes integration look like when
you make a decision?
Right, there's so much there,that's like a whole masterclass
that I think maybe you and Ishould do, because that is
brilliant and we need to unpackthat.
(24:56):
But we also need to unpack thisnovel.
So, all right, so you've gotthis family and they are talking
to you and they are, you know,right, when we start the book
and they are talking to you andthey are, you know, right, when
we start the book, it reallypulls us in because you've got
you know this one very nervoussister.
You've got one dead sister,you've got you know so, and I'm
(25:16):
not spoiling anything Like.
It's like it from the jump.
You've got this, you knowextended relationship.
That's been around for a longtime, this extended relationship
that's been around for a longtime.
You've got this call from thisother person that we don't quite
know who he is yet, but heseems to be on the police force,
seems to have some relationshipwith one of the sisters.
(25:39):
It's so much that you're justlike, oh my God, you hit us in
the beginning with so muchcharacter.
I'm going to say charactercuriosity, right, yeah, that's
really how I think about it.
So you know, I'm really lookingforward to continuing to
explore those things more.
Okay, so when did you know whenthe character started speaking
(26:02):
to you that would be your heroand your villain?
When they started speaking toyou, when did you know that you
would take them to a crescendoand it was over?
Or are we going to see a series?
Speaker 2 (26:20):
We are going to see a series.
Yes, yes, but I'll say thisbecause, as I mentioned, I love
to read.
Uh, but what I hate when I reada great story is that there's
this cliffhanger and you're justlike, no, please don't do that.
So this book.
You have the answers.
(26:40):
Oh, you finished the book.
You know what has happened wewill know.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
We will know when we get to the end of this I'll be
able to like, inhale, exhale,breathe and at least be complete
in this moment, okay yes, youwill, but it's clear, it's going
to be clear to you that thereis more to come.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Okay, oh you have your answers, but then you know,
okay, there's more to thisstory.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
So are you working on ?
Okay?
So here's another author story.
All right, a question that alot of us have, especially with
our fiction fictionalist Are youwriting while this is sitting
with us?
I am?
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Inside school?
Okay, I am, and so it's.
It's interesting becauseobviously I just published this
book, so excited about this bookand really just getting it out
there in so many ways.
And uh, and this is this bookis my first baby, this is my
baby, yeah, and uh, and I cansay that it's funny mother's day
.
Yeah, I don't have any children.
(27:45):
I've got one big baby, myhusband, that's it.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
And so this, and a very fit one too.
As you know, the apple doesn'tfall too far, because Stace's
husband is pretty phenomenal andpretty acclaimed himself in
things outside of corporaterealm as well, I think.
What is it?
Bodybuilding?
Yes, he is.
I was gonna say wrestling and Iwas like I love voice.
(28:14):
I don't think he's wrestling,he's bodybuilding and he's won
titles right.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Yes, he's a professional bodybuilder.
So as an amateur he was MrGeorgia, he won Mr Florida, he
won several contests, and he didthat before we married.
And then we married he stoppedand just stayed in shape and he
is retired now.
And so when he retired he saidyou know what?
I want to go back to competing,but I want to earn what they
(28:45):
call my pro card so I cancompete professionally.
So he resumed competing inamateur contest, won his pro
card.
You've got to win certaincontests to earn a pro card.
He did that and now he is aprofessional bodybuilder.
And here's the kicker he is 66and has competed and won against
men who have been 10 to 15years younger than him.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Wow, so seriously when we say partner well for
executive coaching and mindset,you did because he's been
utilizing and I feel like I'vedone the same honestly, because
when you are connected to aprofessional athlete, I think in
any realm the mentality that isjust coursing through their DNA
(29:28):
is one that processes hurdleslike no other brains I know
right and they manage pivots andthey see past challenges,
literally see past them.
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
All right, terrell, you got your commercial break.
Now back to the scheduledprogramming.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
That's right, agreed no-transcript you know, I I did
(30:15):
think about it and immediatelyruled it out.
That was way too vulnerableright, exactly, I wasn't ready
to go there.
I figured, you know what, letme, uh, put something else out
that is still vulnerable.
Uh, because it's about me, mythoughts, but I wasn't ready to
take that leap that may be inthe future.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
I wasn't ready to take that leap that may be in
the future.
Yes, yes, it is.
It's a real thing for sure.
Wow, okay, so what are your keytakeaways in launching this
book, when you think about whatit takes to do so, what are your
key takeaways that you wouldshare with somebody?
Speaker 2 (30:57):
I would say the first thing is and frankly I think
about this in life, so I'm goingto prescribe it to the book but
frankly, and just abouteverything that's important to
you, important to me, importantto those who are listening, is
that it's not enough to bemotivated, because sometimes
you're not motivated.
Right, you've got to bedisciplined, and and I didn't
(31:20):
I'm not the the author of thosewords, I've heard it so many
times.
My husband feels that way withhis professional career You've
got to be disciplined and you'vegot to be committed, because
you won't always be motivated todo it.
Yes, yes.
And so that, for me, that's abig piece that kept me going.
You know it may be just right.
Commitment and discipline,commitment and discipline, for
(31:45):
sure.
And then I think you've got toask yourself why am I doing this
?
What's your why, girl?
Yes, what is your why?
And that answer is differentfor all of us.
And so you've got to thinkthrough what is your why?
And if you don't have a why,then maybe this is not the
course for you, and that's okay.
Right, everybody's not meant towrite a book, as you stated,
(32:07):
those statistics earlier on.
Everybody doesn't do it, it'snot for everybody.
But think about what is yourwhy?
I would say for sure.
And then I would say the lastthing is you know what?
Don't put pressure on yourself.
Enjoy the process, enjoy it, gothrough it, experience it.
With me writing this book, itwas a lot of fun and it was a
(32:28):
lot of hard work, but Iabsolutely enjoyed writing this
and I absolutely enjoyed gettingto know these characters better
.
You know what I will close itwith.
I'll say this because I harassmy mother, my sister.
I would feed them three or fourchaps at a time.
What?
Speaker 1 (32:44):
do you think about this?
What do you think about this?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
And so when they finally finished the first draft
and it was all said and done,my mother said the best thing
that she could have said.
I don't even realize she knewhow much it impacted me.
She said I'm going to missthese people is what she said,
and that was just profound.
I knew, when she said that,that I was writing the right
(33:08):
book.
I was on the right track.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Wow, I can't even say anything to that.
I do want to acknowledge thatsomeone's listening to this
Stacey and they are themselvesconsidering how to be in that 3%
number and they're unpackingsome of your guidance, of
commitment and dedication.
Are there any things that workfor you?
(33:32):
Because many people are writingaround a work schedule?
So do you set a timer?
Do you set a time of day Likeare there any practical tips
that someone's like how do Imake this vision come to life?
Around you know, working,wifing, momming, whatever
they're doing.
Is there some tip for that thathelps?
Speaker 2 (33:53):
us, yeah, I would say .
And of course we're alldifferent, right, and we all
have different work experiences,family experiences, so it
everybody doesn't fall into thesame spot.
But I think it's important tosit down and say you know what,
I am going to dedicate X time,whether it's you're writing
three times a week and whetherit's at night.
(34:14):
You say you know what, I'mgoing to make sure that I write
for an hour, or whether it's theweekend, whatever it is, try to
commit to a certain time andforgive yourself if it doesn't
work, because life happens, butlife happens.
But then don't continue to letsome of those things get in the
way.
So if life happens and gets inthe way this week, okay, fine,
(34:36):
you know what, blow it off.
And then, okay, fine, you knowwhat, blow it off.
And then, but next week you gotto power through, next week you
got to keep going back untilyou are able to catch up and
continue to write your book orcontinue to really focus in on
your passion, because thatstory's there, that story's
inside, and if you want to tellit, don't let anything pull you
(34:59):
out of telling it.
And it's okay if it takes youtwo years, three years, five
years.
If you've got that passion andthat story to tell, then let
that story unfold and keepfocusing on it.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Wow, wow.
And then the last one I'd askis regarding the why last one
I'd ask is regarding the why.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
What's your why?
You know for me.
The why sort of comes back tothe courage piece, and with what
I went through professionally,I had to recognize that it was
time to focus on myself.
And I had determined what wasit that was going to make me
whole and I recognized I neededto pull this out.
I needed this for me, I need todo this for me and that's why I
(35:47):
did it Okay.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
So I have to read the back of this book.
Determination becomes obsessionand then it becomes all that
matters.
Jeremy Irvine had this to sayabout the book the Devereaux
siblings are young, talentedentrepreneurs running a
successful insurance company.
That success is tested as aseries of unimaginable events
(36:10):
surround them.
London, her sister Remy andtheir brother Luke evoke
feelings of immense loyalty fromthose close to them.
But some aren't loyalists andeveryone isn't quite who they
appear to be.
Someone despises them enough tocommit arson against their
company.
When that doesn't hurt enough,the consequences turn deadly for
(36:33):
one of them.
The police are struggling tofind the perpetrators.
Hello, can I read forcing thesiblings to take matters into
their own hands?
Can they survive or will theysuccumb to the fire starter?
Oh my God, stace, you did that,girl.
(36:53):
I couldn't be more proud of you.
I'm super excited for thejourney of the book.
I'm looking forward to beingwith you there on the journey.
You got to come to SouthFlorida and do a book signing
you know what.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
You're right.
I'm doing one in Atlanta veryshortly planning one in New
Orleans.
But you're right, maybe I couldlook into coming down to
Florida as well.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
I would love to be a part of that decision.
So let's talk about that andalso let me know all the dates,
and do you have any other datesalready that you can let people
know, in case they're hearingthis this weekend and want to
participate?
Speaker 2 (37:29):
Sure, Well, for Atlanta it's very soon.
It's going to be Thursday, may16th.
In Alpharetta, georgia, in NewOrleans we're finalizing it now,
so it's not quite on the books,but it should be June 28th.
Excellent, so very excitedabout it.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
But more to come.
Is there a website that folkscan?
Or social media?
How can people tap into thesocial side of who you are and
what's happening?
Speaker 2 (37:58):
I do have an Instagram account, and so it
definitely pulled me up onInstagram.
Stacey Harmon, and gosh, youknow what I'm, so used to it.
I think it's Stacey Harmon 5359.
But look me up, you'll see.
Excellent, excellent.
I've got the book on there andcertainly Facebook as well,
working on a website as we speak.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
See, this is what happens when success starts
pulling you right.
It's like you're putting allthe pieces.
I honestly feel that same wayabout the podcast.
Even though it's been a minute,it's been such a thing that you
know, I've been like, okay, I'mdoing it because of passion,
not because it's, you know, sortof structured and you know all
(38:41):
those things.
And I'm doing it because ofpassion, not because it's, you
know, sort of structured and youknow all those things, and I'm
being pulled to do that ratherquickly, and so it's pretty neat
to start putting that meat onthe bones Right.
So, so good.
Well, again, all success.
I'm sure that this is going tobe amazing.
Godspeed to you and all of this, and keep being courageous and
fighting the good fight andtelling your story, your
personal story, because I thinkone of the things that I would
just double click on before weleave it is incredible that you
(39:04):
produce something so beautifulout of a time that was so hard.
Thank you, shantra, I certainlyappreciate it.
So proud of you.
Love you, girl, love you too.
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