What if your burnout isn’t about doing too much—but about allowing the wrong withdrawals? We step into the fourth quarter with a sharper lens: a daily deposits-versus-withdrawals audit that exposes invisible drains, restores peace, and helps you choose the rooms where your impact will be felt. From calendar chaos to meaningful tradeoffs, we share the simple tie-breaker that ends second-guessing: pick the commitment where your presence creates the greatest change, not the one with the flashiest optics.
Denise takes us behind the curtain of persona and replenishment, naming why high-energy performers get quiet offstage and why that boundary is part of the work. Then the moment we’ve been waiting for: announcing her debut book, The Only One in the Room: How to Transform Differences into Strengths, Communicate with Impact, and Lead with Confidence—featuring a foreword by Stephen M. R. Covey. The book blends candid stories, practical tools, and interactive exercises to help you claim your voice, communicate with intention, and lead with calm confidence. Whether you’re introverted, the youngest at the table, the only woman, the only person of color, or simply the quietest thinker, your difference can be your superpower.
We also zoom out to the cultural noise and remember this truth: there’s still more good than evil. That perspective fuels our 2026 planning—what to launch, what to celebrate, and what to cut. If you’re craving clarity, this conversation offers a blueprint: audit your energy, choose impact over attention, honor your need to replenish, and build a vision that aligns with your values. Ready to protect your peace and amplify your voice? Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs the reminder, and leave a review with your Q4 non-negotiable—we’ll feature our favorites next week.
Drive, Ambition, Doing, Leading, Creating... all good until we forget about our own self-care. This Village of All-Stars pays it forward with transparency about misses and celebration in winning. We cover many topics and keep it 100. We are Proven Not Perfect™️
https://www.provennotperfect.com
Follow me on Instagram at: shontrapowell_provennotperfect
Follow me on Facebook at: Proven Not Perfect™️
Watch and listen on YouTube: Proven Not Perfect™️
Join the community for ideas and events at www.provennotperfect.com.
I'd love to hear what you think!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02 (00:56):
Denise.
Chandra.
No stranger to proven notperfect.
None.
Um, in fact, we had you for animpromptu, it was supposed to be
a catch-up, personal catch up,and it turned into a whole
podcast that we shared with theworld.
But this time there's a bit moreintentionality.
There is something on my mind,and I was thinking about this,
(01:17):
and I was like, you know, I wantto have this conversation, but I
also want to be intentional withwho I choose to have it with.
And you're one of those leaderswho brings such intentionality
to the spaces and places thatyou inhabit that I thought that
you'd be perfect for thisdiscussion with us.
Okay.
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (01:36):
Thank you.
I received that.
Thanks so much.
I'm trying to figure out becauseyou know, I'm looking at you
here.
Yeah.
And then there's okay, so I'mgonna try to get right in here
on right in here.
I'm right here.
SPEAKER_02 (01:51):
I'm like, I'm looking at you.
No, I'm not.
Thanks to Zoom and all of thenew features.
Thanks to Zoom.
SPEAKER_01 (01:59):
Zoom now is you can pay us later.
SPEAKER_02 (02:02):
We'll appreciate it.
Right.
We'll check all the sponsorshipfor sure.
So here is the question on mymind.
Now that we are officially inthe fourth quarter of the
calendar year, it's crazy.
And for a lot of us, we scurriedfrom summer right on into fall.
(02:23):
And now we open our eyes andit's October.
Everyone's inevitably lookingback and thinking, what was on
their list that they didn'taccomplish?
And they're thinking, what'sstill on their list yet to do
for the end of the year?
I don't know how many people arereally bringing intentionality
to the setup for 2026 andbeyond, but let's just focus on
(02:50):
the next year for now, right?
And so I thought, let me tapinto your wisdom and ask you now
that you're entering the fourthquarter of the year, what's top
of mind for you as you do a lookback on the year that we're in
and you start to look forward tothe future?
SPEAKER_01 (03:08):
Well, the first word that comes to my mind is
rapping.
Ooh.
This year, and we say that everyyear, it's like, man, this year
just flew by.
Yeah.
And I'm just starting to acceptthe fact that the older and
wiser we are becoming.
And when I say we, for thosethat are 40 and over, yes, I
(03:30):
feel like ever since I becamepart of the 40s club, which
this, by the way, Chantra, is mylast year.
So next year, I'm a bicentennialbaby.
So I'll be celebrating my 50thwith the country's 250th.
Wow.
And so I just believe that asI'm wrapping up the 40s, going
(03:52):
back to your question, there'sso much, whether it's networks,
whether it's philanthropy,whether it's family, everything
that I believe it's thateverything that we do combined
(04:14):
with the rapid rate oftechnology, I I strongly
believe, Chantra, that that'sone of the reasons why we feel
as though the year flies by, andyet to your point, when we
reflect and think, what did Iget accomplished this year?
(04:35):
Because think about it.
What used to be where, okay, I'mleaving the office and I'm
leaving work.
That's no longer the case.
Accessibility combined with therapid rate of technology is
where I think we really need tofocus in on intentionality.
(05:01):
And the reason why I say that isbecause sometimes I have to take
a step back.
Literally, I'm not even, I'mwon't even be dishonest and say
every now again or sometimes.
Every day is part of myreflection process.
SPEAKER_00 (05:17):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (05:19):
I'm not asking how much I accomplished today.
I'm asking how many withdrawalsdid I allow and how many
deposits did I receive?
That is the question I askmyself every day.
SPEAKER_02 (05:34):
How many withdrawals?
Yep.
How many deposits?
So unpack that a little bit forthis new language for a lot of
people.
SPEAKER_01 (05:46):
When your account is overdrawn, there's a variety of
emotions.
And listen, you know, because Iknow your audience is of high
caliber.
I get it.
But there's not too many folksin this thing called life that
can say, I've never had anoverdrawn account.
We've all been there, you know,during our formative years.
(06:08):
And when you think about whatthat felt like, you know,
whether it was humiliation,frustration, anxiety, there's so
many emotions that areassociated with having an
account overdrawn.
Yes.
And the simple formula, Chantra,is I had this much money in my
(06:30):
account.
Yes.
But yet I was allowing all thesethe withdrawals to come in and
there wasn't sufficient funds.
It's the same principle with usas people.
We allow, we allow people tomake withdrawals, but yet we're
not making enough deposits.
(06:51):
And then we literally feeloverdrawn.
That's burnout.
Yes.
So that's why it's important forme every day to say, okay, is my
account full?
Do I have sufficient funds in myaccount?
SPEAKER_02 (07:06):
How do you course correct?
SPEAKER_01 (07:08):
Ooh.
SPEAKER_02 (07:09):
So I think you're everything you're saying is spot
on.
But what are some of yourstrategies to sort of course
correct when you feel like, youknow what?
I'm looking at the deposits, I'mlooking at the withdrawals, and
I'm out of balance.
Um, especially when you look atyour calendar and it still has
all of those commitments thatyou made when you were in
(07:30):
balance, right?
And so I think, especially as westart to ratchet up on this back
half of the year, folks dotypically start to see lots of
withdrawals, right?
It's it's the one more event,it's the one more meeting, um,
making space for the one moretrip.
Not a whole lot of space todeposit anything that hasn't
(07:52):
been in there already.
So I guess what I'd love tounpack with you are as folks
start to end this year, arethere maybe two or three things
that you would just kind of putout there that you do yourself
that might be very useful toolsfor folks who don't have a
(08:13):
practice or maybe have one, butfeel like they can fine-tune it?
SPEAKER_01 (08:18):
Great question.
I'm so glad you asked thatquestion.
It's the same principle.
So when we do realize that ouraccounts, our bank accounts, are
having way more withdrawals thandeposits, the first thing we do
is we'll analyze, we'll say,okay, let me look at all these
(08:41):
subscriptions that areautomatically withdrawn out of
my account.
Let me look at all theseautomatic payments.
Let me assess what actually isnecessary andor bringing me
value versus something that I'mjust paying for and I'm not even
utilizing.
That's the same principle,Chantra, that you should apply
(09:01):
with people.
Wow.
And it and it hurts, I mean,because even when I say it and
your response was, wow, that'show I felt too.
However, the more and more thatI apply that principle, and this
is daily.
SPEAKER_00 (09:16):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:17):
You know, like data analysts, people that are
listening to this and watchingthis, there's some people who
are very data-driven.
They're analytical.
Okay.
I don't need the fluff, I wantthe data.
I don't want feelings, I wantfacts.
I so appreciate that becausethat's the same type of
methodology that you shouldapply when it comes to assessing
(09:41):
who, what, and where are takingway more withdrawals than
deposits in my life.
And it's gonna sting because atfirst, you know, you might say,
wow, every time this person hasaccess to me, whether it's a
text, a phone call, you know, anin-person meeting, even you
(10:02):
know, this person who I workwith, they do a lot more taking
out of me than they do giving.
That's a flag.
And I will say this since Istarted applying that method,
I've gained what all of us, whenwe assess what's causing
burnout, I've gained more time.
(10:26):
I've gained more clarity.
And here's the big one I'vegained more prosperity.
Prosperity has nothing to dowith money.
Yes, prosperity has nothing todo with how many cars are in
your garage, or you know, howmany homes you you you invest
in.
Prosperity is one thing and onething only, that is peace.
(10:50):
That's it.
Priceless.
When you when you say I I I wantyou to have a prosperous life,
or I I am striving to beprosperous, you are striving or
praying for or asking for peace.
Which is I there's nothing,Chantra, that I could think of
(11:12):
that is more valuable thanpeace.
SPEAKER_02 (11:16):
Totally agree with you.
That's what God is.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Absolutely.
And when the presence of peaceisn't there.
So I think that's an excellentrubric, though.
So, you know, one of the thingsthat that you're really just
nailing is as you take your ownpersonal inventory and you start
moving toward the back afterthis year, it's not too soon to
(11:37):
start saying, Where's the deadweight in my life?
Right.
And that dead weight can beovercommitments, right?
I find I found just yesterdaythat I made a new commitment on
top of a commitment that Ialready had.
Um, now I have to reconcilewhich of the commitments is
going to beat the other one,right?
(11:58):
Which is not a good place to be,right?
But, you know, we all findourselves there.
It's now what do you do?
How do you rationalize the factthat you have to and you can
only do one, right?
Um, it's it's a very real thing.
And it's going to it's going tocontinue to creep up because I
think with all these portals ofentry that you launched us with,
(12:22):
all the portals of entry arethat it's not, it's not
stopping, they're not slowing,they are there, they're getting
faster.
So now it's figuring out how youget efficient on top of all the
portals of entry for all theevents and places and spaces you
need to be.
It's a whole lot.
SPEAKER_01 (12:38):
Listen, that just happened to me, Chantra.
And and this is where it's asimple formula for me.
Yeah.
When you're when you're in theposition of which who gets my
time and who doesn't now thatI've realized I've I've
overbooked or I've doublebooked.
Impact.
SPEAKER_00 (12:55):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (12:56):
That's always my my anchor is based on this
decision, who or what is goingto have the most impact?
On you are you on it?
Me on them.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (13:12):
Thank you for that.
Even though you answer myquestion for which I was gonna
pick.
Because here's going to impactme, but the other one I believe
I will impact.
It's a smaller community offolks who are quite frankly
seeking light.
The other one is a largercommunity of folks who all are
(13:35):
exuding the light, or at least,you know.
And so my greater self was like,hang on.
SPEAKER_01 (13:43):
Which place really should you choose to be?
Whichever place you are going tohave the most impact on them.
Do not focus on quantity, focuson the quality.
So, for example, I could beinvited, and now this is just an
example.
I don't want any of our clientswho may be listening to be like,
(14:04):
is she talking about me?
SPEAKER_02 (14:07):
I don't want people trying to reconcile who I just
who I just deciphered upbetween, right?
That could be two of my friendsin uh Japan and Australia.
So just don't even try.
SPEAKER_01 (14:20):
I break this down just really quick.
You could have an invitation bya notable, distinguished leader
of the world.
Yes, and they their team reachesout to your team and says, you
know, I would love to havedinner with Chantra and learn
(14:43):
more about her services, herjourney, her leadership.
And you're thinking, you had meat hello, because this person
again, and then you accidentallyor inadvertently book, let's
say, a keynote for a nonprofitorganization.
(15:05):
Yes, and they're gonna give youmaybe whatever they can give you
in terms of stipend honor.
Yeah.
So this is where you know thethe the brain is gonna say, go
with the notable leader.
I mean, man.
And then the heart and the gutprobably is gonna say, based on
(15:28):
impact, I need to go and and anddo my work with this nonprofit.
That's just an example.
But ultimately, it's alwayschess, it's never checkers.
And the chess component whereyou get to say checkmate, is
where whatever decision that youmake, Sandra, when you reflect
(15:50):
on that decision, where did Imake the most impact?
Oh, and I, you know, it's gonnahappen to the best of us, and
that's where we also, inaddition to assessing the
impact, please, please, please,please, even if they don't, give
yourself grace.
And how you do that, challengefor because I know a lot of
(16:11):
people are gonna say, Well, howdo you do that?
You remind yourself that you'rea good person.
Yes, do you do you you feel whatI'm saying?
Like you have to know that goodpeople make mistakes, and it
doesn't there's grace there forit, right?
SPEAKER_02 (16:29):
Um I've I had a conversation recently with a
friend, and you know, it came upthis if you are guided by strong
values, core values, principalbeliefs, that there is a wisdom
and a discernment and a spiritthat goes with your best
(16:52):
decisions at a point in time,given the information that you
have.
The reality is, even if it endsup looking like, man, why did I
decide to do that?
You're probably exactly whereyou were supposed to be.
I love that.
And wait, but but here's when Iwhen it blew my mind when we
(17:12):
unpack this.
Whatever your core values andbeliefs are, that spirit guide
in your heart knew where youwere gonna go anyway.
Ooh.
So the grace was already there.
So even though you're you'refinding it out, you're like,
wow, why did I decide this?
There were lessons to belearned.
(17:34):
To my sister Denise's point,there were there was an impact
to be made, even in whatperceptibly looked like your bad
decision.
SPEAKER_01 (17:46):
I love this.
Yeah, and you know, that's I Ilove the way it releases us,
right?
Because I have to look we haveto, yeah.
That's our superpower.
That's one of our superpowers isthe grace, the understanding,
and the self-activation of it.
Because and here's what you haveto be okay with either party's
(18:07):
initial reaction to you saying,Hey, here's what happened.
Yeah, I I accidentally, youknow, double booked.
Yes, you mean the world to me.
I have to make this decision, itwas difficult.
And and please be okay with,they're gonna be upset.
We're human.
(18:28):
That's a natural, but understandthat that will pass.
SPEAKER_02 (18:31):
It will pass.
SPEAKER_01 (18:33):
You know, because I know there's been times where
someone may have or communicateda decision that they were making
that I wasn't happy with, and myinitial reaction was
frustration, disappointment, allthese you know, negative
emotions.
But after I slept on it, I wokeup, I was okay.
(18:54):
And then I reached out to thatperson again and said, you know
what?
I initially was disappointed orinitially felt blank.
But after some reflection andgetting a good night's sleep, I
just want you to know Iunderstand and I appreciate your
openness and sharing that withme.
So I it again, you have to justbe okay with which Chantra, this
(19:16):
is a great segue into this pointthat the spirit is telling me to
share too.
It's like people can't bedisappointed or frustrated
anymore without the other personsaying, You're attacking me.
And I think as humans, we haveto get yes, we we we have to get
(19:41):
back to you need to take itdown.
SPEAKER_02 (19:43):
Like I honestly do a collective inhale, exhale.
Can we just do that now, even inthe places and put wherever you
are right now?
SPEAKER_00 (19:56):
Let's do it.
SPEAKER_02 (19:57):
I think one, two, three, inhale, exhale.
SPEAKER_01 (20:04):
Oh, that feels so good.
SPEAKER_02 (20:06):
For somebody that was the first time they maybe
have done that all day.
And it feels so good becausethat's what how we're living
right now.
But yeah, it's like we gotta beperfect, and I'm like, no, I'm
human.
SPEAKER_01 (20:20):
The way that the most high designed me, I have an
array of emotions.
Yes, and some days, you know thething about it, Chantra, for you
and for many of us that are inthis room right now, that are
listening and watching thisincredible podcast, we put so
much pressure on ourselves toplease everybody and make people
happy and and and make ourselveslook so perfect on social media.
(20:45):
So that so it gets to the pointwhere you've done all that, but
then when you finally have asituation where you need to be
frustrated or upset ordisappointed, everyone's like,
the nerve.
SPEAKER_02 (20:58):
I thought she was Miss Happy Cloud.
SPEAKER_01 (21:03):
You see, you see what I'm saying?
And it's like for so going backto the original question, I'm
more comfortable now remindingpeople that as much, because a
lot of people, when they use oneword to describe me, and that
was intentional, is energy.
And I appreciate that because Iknow that my energy is a
(21:24):
superpower that positivelyimpacts that word again, so many
people.
And I appreciate the most hightrusting me and blessing me with
that gift.
With that being said, sister,there there are days where I'm
different.
Yes.
I'll say this quick story, andthe and the person that said it
(21:47):
may be watching this, and theythey didn't understand the
impact, but that's okay.
This person said to me, Yeah,Denise, you know, few few
people, side note, stay awayfrom folks who say, folks are
saying this about you.
But that's a whole notherepisode.
SPEAKER_02 (22:06):
Another episode.
Look, I love I love the trilogywe're building.
SPEAKER_01 (22:10):
Right.
This person said, you know,Denise, there are some folks
that say you're different whenyou're not on the stage, you're
different from when you'reyou're off the stage.
You're so nice and and highenergy when you're on the stage,
but when you get off the stage,you're different.
I'm like, uh yeah, it's calledpersona.
(22:31):
Yes.
This this incredible woman righthere.
I don't know if you can see her.
She is my Shiro, one of them,Tina Turner.
Yes.
Let me show you how God works.
Because when that person said itto me, Shantra, what do you
think my immediate reaction was?
SPEAKER_02 (22:48):
Well, I mean, you're human.
So immediately you're sort oflike, really?
I'm like, really?
SPEAKER_01 (22:56):
I gotta fix this.
I gotta be, you know, highenergy all the time.
I'm showing you how God works.
I study the best every nightbefore I go to bed.
Because if you want to be thebest, you gotta study the best.
Okay, shout out to WhitneyHouston who taught me that.
Not personally.
(23:16):
And there was a video that camein on my social media feed, and
it was literally Tina Turnerduring an interview.
Wow.
And she was sharing with theinterviewer that I'm not Tina
Turner once I get off thatstage.
And she didn't say she was animebullet, but she did say I'm not
what you see.
(23:36):
And chant her the immediaterelease that that gave me that
freedom, that permission to knowthat people who are anointed and
have gifts to where they canentertain people through their
words or through their presence,that can be exhausting.
(23:57):
Girl, you need to replenish.
Which goes back, see, see howthat works?
Now we're back to thewithdrawals and the deposits.
Yes, because when I'm on stage,when you're on stage, we are
focused on making sure that ouraudience is getting exactly what
they deserve, and that is thebest.
(24:19):
Amen.
Why do you think Beyonce doesn'tsay too much?
Now I get it.
Now I get it.
I'm like, because I rememberwhen you know when I first when
she first started, you know,really starting to elevate as
this global icon, one of thevery inconsiderate judgments I
made on Beyoncé was she doesn'tknow how to communicate, she
(24:43):
doesn't know how to speak, shedoesn't really talk that much.
To me, she's socially awkward.
But remember what we said in thebeginning, Chantra.
The older you become, the wiser,not just based on books, but
just experiences.
So now I totally get why Beyoncédoesn't say diddly squat.
SPEAKER_00 (25:04):
That's right.
SPEAKER_01 (25:06):
All that she has given the world she's given us
that she gives on stage.
I've seen Beyonce in concert.
Let me tell you right now.
Yes, I mean she's human, butshe's not, she's otherworldly.
That is one of the mostanointing, and so you you you
you have to number one assessthe impact in everything that
(25:29):
you do.
Number two, make sure that asmuch as you are allowing people,
places, and things to withdrawfrom you, because many of us we
make it look so easy.
Yes, and we and and the morethat you and it is easy if it's
your length.
SPEAKER_02 (25:47):
And I think that that's that's that's a truth,
too, right?
Because we should seek thethings that are easy, it should
be easy.
SPEAKER_01 (25:56):
Yes, the older we become.
Yes, and so with that, I'm okaywith uh knowing that when I get
off that stage and I've given mybest, which I always do.
Yes, I'm undefeated when itcomes to giving my best and
(26:17):
being mediocre.
I'm undefeated.
Yes, my record is like 582 andoh.
Okay, and that's intentional.
I have to also be okay with yes,it's important for me to connect
with people as much as I love tobe connected to.
(26:41):
However, with that being said,it's also important for me to
know when to say, I'm overdrawn,I need more deposits.
SPEAKER_02 (26:51):
So if you hear nothing else, as you approach
the back half of this year andstart visioning what the next
part of the year looks like,anybody listening to us,
understand your own personalinventory.
That's it.
(27:12):
Be clear about what it is todayand about what you're gearing up
for in the future.
Now, I want to pivot because Iknow that you're gearing up for
the future and you're gearing upfor something very special.
So I would imagine, yes, yes,yes, as we're closing out 2025,
there's intentionality thatyou're bringing to what's
(27:36):
depositing and how many depositsyou're making space for.
So that you have a whole lot ofenergy to walk into 2026, ready
to probably tip a little bit onwithdrawals, right?
Tell me what I'm talking about.
What am I talking about?
SPEAKER_01 (27:52):
So this year, as we're closing, and and to your
point, launching into 2026, I Icannot even believe I'm saying
this, but I am so excited,thankful, grateful to announce
right here.
Yes, on the future is brightpodcast.
(28:13):
Yes, posted, curated, producedby the Chantra Pap.
My highly anticipated debutbook.
Yes.
Yes, so excited.
You know, it's kind of like ithasn't hit me yet.
(28:33):
I know, right?
It just it hasn't hit me yet,and I I need to to make space
and time to just be with thebook.
But again, the the book istitled The Only One in the Room.
SPEAKER_02 (28:50):
So tell us about that.
Tell us what what can we expect?
What what give us a little bitof a snack here?
The only one in the room.
What what was the inspiration?
Fiction, nonfiction.
Um, you know, give us a littlebit, a little bit of more.
SPEAKER_01 (29:04):
Yeah, no, this all great question.
So, in terms of it's kind oflike uh the same way that I got
into entrepreneurship.
There was one point where I waslike, I'm never gonna work for
me, I'm never gonna be anentrepreneur.
I I need guaranteed, I needsecurity, I need a stable
income.
Yeah, and then it's funny howthat saying says when you plan
(29:27):
something, that's the best wayto make God laugh.
Yes.
So obviously, God had otherthings in plan for in store for
me as part of his plan.
And so I'm sorry, and you werelistening, and I was lit.
Thank you for calling that outbecause it's a lot of times we
we pray for things and then wedon't listen.
So then, fast forward about twoand a half years, no, two years
(29:51):
ago, I was uh a guest keynotespeaker at a conference, and
there were two guest keynotespeakers.
So I kicked off the morning, andthen there was another keynote
that kicked off the afternoon bythe name of Stephen Covey of
Franklin Covey.
Come on now, New York Timesbestseller.
(30:12):
Wow, fire, Mr.
Covey.
Now, now mind you.
SPEAKER_02 (30:18):
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
We all gotta walk with you onthis journey.
So let's understand this.
You were just doing what you do,where you said winning 580 to
none, right?
Showing up with excellence overmediocrity winning every time.
So you showed up to thatwhatever hundredth experience
that was, happened to be placedin a scenario where you were in
(30:45):
a space with someone that couldperhaps pour seed and change the
course and trajectory of yourlife.
SPEAKER_01 (30:55):
Thank you for saying that, Chantra.
I could listen, I'm just not acommunication coach.
I could not have said it better.
Thank you for saying that.
Because, you know, yourlisteners, your audience, they
also needed that.
Because to your point, I knewthat Stephen Covey was going to
be the keynote speaker in theafternoon.
(31:18):
I knew who he was.
I've worked for companies thatuse the Franklin Covey
leadership model as one of theirkey components of developing
high potential employees.
So I I know I knew all of that.
You know, sharing the stage withthe same stage, I should say,
(31:40):
with Stephen Covey.
I'm like, so of course, when theafternoon comes and I'm like,
listen, I'm gonna be in theaudience.
Can I stay?
And my the client was like, ofcourse.
Afterwards, I'm literally, Iremember like it was yesterday,
Chantra.
I'm placing my items in my bagand I'm getting ready to head to
(32:02):
the airport.
unknown (32:03):
Mr.
SPEAKER_01 (32:04):
Cubby walks up to me.
Wow.
He says, I heard you speak thismorning, and he simply said, You
are amazing.
But now she's I'm like, oh mygoodness, thank you.
That means so much to me comingfrom you.
Like, thank you.
Then he proceeds to say, There'sa book in you.
(32:28):
No, I I take that back.
I'm sorry.
He says, How many books have youhave you written?
I said, zero.
He said, There's a book in you.
He said, I'll tell you what.
If I connect you with some goodpeople that can help you write
your first book, as long as youcomplete it, I'll write the
(32:54):
forward to your first book.
I was like, done.
Look, you should have led withthat.
Thus, we have the only one, andI'm I'm looking at my screen so
I made sure I read thiscorrectly.
The only one in the room, how totransform differences into
strengths, communicate withimpact, and lead with
(33:18):
confidence.
Forward by Stephen M.
R.
Cubby.
Wow.
I'm trying to see if I can maybesee this.
SPEAKER_00 (33:27):
So yeah, there's the book.
SPEAKER_02 (33:31):
That's the book covered.
Oh my gosh.
Look at there.
There's the beauty.
SPEAKER_01 (33:35):
There's the beauty.
There she is, right there.
And so she's coming out October11th.
Today is October 2nd.
And Chantra, you already knowyou're going to receive a copy.
I would be honored for you toread it.
Oh my gosh.
Your brain is brilliant.
So I just definitely want folkslike you to read the book.
(33:58):
But it's it's for everyone.
Yes.
This book is so important toyour earlier question in terms
of timeliness, because there'snever been a time, at least
once, where, regardless of yourrole, regardless of your level,
regardless of your physicalappearance, that at one point
(34:23):
you've asked yourself, do Ibelong here?
There's not one person.
Everybody has.
Everybody has experienced amoment, yes, which could have
been detrimental or could havebeen the launch of, you know, do
I belong in this room?
Do I belong here?
So this book is literally foranyone who has ever asked that
(34:48):
question.
And the relevance as it relatesto current day.
There's a lot of us that are,even from the pandemic, so 2020
through current day, 2025, fiveyears later, who have really
been focusing on who am I?
Yeah.
Am I am I located where I'msupposed to be located?
(35:11):
Am I working where I'm supposedto be working?
Am I doing the things that I'msupposed to be doing?
Am I living the way that I'msupposed to be living?
And that has everything to dowith how you're engaging every
day.
And so this book is really goingto help people develop their
voice, refine their existingvoice, elevate their brand, and
(35:36):
really learn how to communicatein a way that is valuable, that
is relevant, that is motivating.
We all need that.
SPEAKER_02 (35:46):
Every one of us.
Everybody.
And there's no, there's noyou've mastered it unless you've
mastered it.
And very few have, right?
And I think in particular rightnow, as there's so much noise,
right?
I think the ability to controlnot only the placement of your
(36:08):
voice, the intonation of yourvoice, the softness.
SPEAKER_01 (36:14):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (36:16):
All of it, right?
Um, I'm excited.
I cannot wait to read the book.
SPEAKER_01 (36:21):
And it's engaging, just so you know, this is to
answer your question, how thisbook differentiates from other
books is it's a hybrid.
So all of this is based onpersonal and professional
experiences, which I get into alot of detail.
I'm very candid.
And most people that know meknow I'm very candid.
Yes.
Like you can't.
(36:41):
One thing no one can say aboutDenise is that I don't know how
she feels.
I don't know what worked about.
Yes, you do.
You do.
So yes, this book is the samereflection of that part of me
because you deserve that.
And then, secondly, it's veryengaging.
This is going to be like one ofthose books where you have the
(37:04):
highlights, the littlebookmarker post-it notes.
This is going to be a blueprint.
Because as much as I provideinsight, wisdom, tools, it's
going to inspire you to do thesame.
And we have intentional places.
So the team that I work with, wehave intentional places in the
(37:24):
book.
SPEAKER_00 (37:25):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (37:25):
Where you'll be able to write your thoughts.
A lot of truth bombs, a lot ofinteractive exercises, a lot of
accountability in the book.
A lot of reminders on howamazing you are, even when you
are the only one in the room.
And remember, Chantra, being theonly one in the room isn't
always about physicalappearance.
SPEAKER_02 (37:46):
Right.
Absolutely right.
SPEAKER_01 (37:47):
You could be someone who's been described as
introverted.
SPEAKER_02 (37:51):
That's right.
SPEAKER_01 (37:52):
And what I'm reminding you is that, you know,
there's power in being quiet.
It's just your responsibility toeducate people on the power of
being a processor, of being anobserver.
SPEAKER_02 (38:06):
Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_01 (38:07):
I don't always need to be the loudest one in the
room to be the most.
And this goes back to our word.
Impactful.
SPEAKER_02 (38:14):
Wow.
This is great.
So it's a great book.
So tell, tell me, as you as youthink about 2026 and walking
into this new place with thebook.
Um, you know, what excites youand what sort of pings at your
heart a little bit?
Like, ooh, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01 (38:37):
You know what excites me, Shantra?
And again, thank you so much forthese just responsible
questions.
That there's still more good inthis world than evil.
2025 celebrated a lot of evilpeople, evil places, evil
things.
And that's and that's hard for alot of people to to digest.
SPEAKER_02 (38:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (39:01):
And what we have to remind ourselves is that there's
still more good than not.
Taking that into 2026,obviously, I'm gonna be focused
on promoting this book.
Yeah, we're gonna have virtualbook launches, book club
(39:21):
parties.
Uh and when I say we, Mr.
Covey and I, he's gonna join me.
Come on, yeah.
So you're gonna see a lot of DTand Mr.
Covey promoting this book.
And I just want people tounderstand that whether you're
the only one in the room basedon physical appearance, based on
(39:43):
work style, personality,persona, whatever, is that you
have a valuable voice thatdeserves to be heard.
And the number one thing,Shantra, that people literally
the number one thing out ofevery area of communication that
people will ask me to coach themon or even reintroduce is
(40:06):
confidence.
This book, it's gonna remind youthat you don't need to be taught
how to be competent.
You just gotta get rid of allthat noise.
Get those layers out of the way.
Because the confidence is here.
And that's what this book isgonna help you do.
You're gonna literally hear myvoice when you're reading this
book because you know, when Iwas writing.
SPEAKER_02 (40:27):
Energy is gonna come through.
It's gonna come through.
I already know it.
Haven't read a page, but I justthink that that's the light that
you bear, right?
And quite frankly, to God be theglory, that's what Mr.
Covey saw, right?
And I just think, you know, it'stime to illuminate, illuminate
that light, to share it, um, andto help turn on some lights
(40:52):
where they may have gotten alittle dim, right?
Um, this is a season where I dofeel a momentum and a movement
around turning on lights, beingconfident, being bold, um, being
considerate, being kind, holdingspace when people maybe don't
have the strength to hold it forthemselves.
(41:12):
We have folks that are willingto do that.
And any strike of a matchopportunities to do that right
now, I think are blessed.
And that's what I think the onlyone is going to be one of those
strike of the match.
And, you know, to Mr.
Covey, I just say, you know, I'mgonna call him, I'm gonna call
him Mr.
Covey until, you know, we I getto know Steve, right?
(41:34):
But I'll say I'll say to himnow, look, I mean, thank you for
modeling the behavior that weshould all model, right?
Because it's very easy to get toa place of, okay, great, I've
done that, and then sort of becomfortable there.
I don't believe that that's whyGod shines our light.
(41:57):
I don't believe that's why thegifts are deposited.
They are, I believe, tounderstand them, understand them
responsibly, and start to seedothers and not make clones
because we're not clones, right?
SPEAKER_01 (42:14):
No need to be, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (42:15):
There's no need to be a clone.
When I water that fertile soilon somebody else, there's an
expectation that what sprouts isnot gonna be mini Chantron or
mini Denise or many Mr.
Covey, right?
It's going to be DT in the waythat only DT can be.
And man, I just think thebrilliance of So I gotta say
(42:38):
this.
SPEAKER_01 (42:39):
Yes, pardon me for a second, Chantra.
I'm gonna talk to your audience.
Let me tell y'all how incrediblygifted this woman is.
We have not had a very detailedconversation about this book,
but going back about 60 seconds,Chantra brought up the word
light and associate that with mybook.
(42:59):
Like, this book is gonna be alight.
Now, let me just say this toagain, all of Shantra's viewers
and listeners.
Let me tell you how brilliant Iknow she is.
She had no clue that the reason,and I'm gonna see if I can share
it again.
When we were designing, andshout out to Mel Wise, who
(43:20):
designed the book cover.
You see how the word one ishighlighted in yellow?
Yes.
Guess what word we used when wedecided to highlight that in
yellow?
We said we want this to be thelight.
We want people when they see theword one, they see that as a
light.
And you just said it.
That's why I almost fell out mychair when you were speaking.
(43:42):
I was like, so I'm sorry, carryon, Shantra.
I promise.
Oh, I promise.
Wow, that was the wholeintention of highlighting the
word one in the title.
If you notice that's the onlyword, only word, yeah.
And that is to represent thatthis there we go is is the
(44:02):
light.
You are the light, you are theone.
Even if you're the only one, youare the light.
SPEAKER_02 (44:07):
Wow.
And you got it.
Uniquely Chantra Pow! Well, youknow what, honestly, I just
think that when something makessense, it just makes sense.
And, you know, it starts toresonate in the way that it was
intended to.
So me, it just affirms that whatyou're put releasing into the
world um really, really is onthe precipice of something
(44:30):
that's that's not even going tobe impactful for today.
It's going to be impactful formany, many years as we sort of
continue to shift throughdynamic changes, um, learn new
things together as human beingsright now, who are all figuring
out new ways of being at thesame time.
(44:51):
Um, shifts in everything we'vecome to know, even economically,
right?
Um, where markets behavedifferently fundamentally
because they're differentinstruments for markets to
navigate, right?
Um so, you know, I I think neverhas there been a more dynamic
time with so many shifts atonce.
(45:11):
The the responsibility is sogreat.
And I'm again, I couldn't bemore excited to be a part of the
DT Club as we go into 2026 andexperience um experience this
great celebration of this workthat you've birthed.
Thank you, really.
SPEAKER_01 (45:29):
Seriously, that means sis, and I just love you
so much because you talk aboutlight.
You should be very wellacquainted with light because
your light exudes way more thanyou could ever imagine, Chantra.
You are a force, you are alight.
And the fact that you havecurated this space to have,
because you know, right now,podcasts are everywhere.
(45:51):
Is it was funny because I'veI've I keep getting this
pressure.
Denise, when you have a podcast,I'm like, it's so for me.
I was like, it's so saturated.
Yes, it's but what you've beenable to do is create a space to
where people who traditionallydon't feel comfortable saying
(46:14):
certain things, especially rightnow, you give us that that
comfort, and we so need it.
And I just want to say thisbecause I know we're about to
wrap up.
I just want to say this.
I was driving last week and asong came on that I hadn't heard
in a long time.
Do you remember the song WeDidn't Start the Fire by Billy
(46:34):
Joel?
Yes, so I'm listening to thelyrics, and I thought, man, this
song came out if I had to guess,late 80s, early 90s.
Yes, absolutely.
And it's still relevant todaytoday.
Think about what's going on byMarvin Gash.
(46:57):
That song came out in the late60s, early 70s.
So my point is saying this isfor a lot of us, we're we're
saying things like, oh man, thiswas this was a heck of a year.
What's what's going on?
Or who's to blame?
These artists that wrote thesesongs, it's reminding us that
(47:18):
whether it was the 60s, the 80sor 90s or current state, yes,
there's always gonna besomething to where the incoming
generation is saying, and thenthe outgoing generation is like
that's right.
So we can't keep tellingourselves that man, the world is
(47:39):
just a bad place right now.
It never used to be like this.
Yes, it has, yes, it was.
Yes, it has.
Yes what?
SPEAKER_02 (47:45):
Yes, we're still here, and we're still here,
we're still here.
SPEAKER_01 (47:49):
We made it, and we're gonna continue to make it.
That's right.
We may have not started thefire, we may want to ask
ourselves what's going on, butwith incredible humans like you,
Chantra.
And you, DT.
Come on now.
I receive that.
Yes, in the words of the greatKendrick Lamar, we're gonna be
all right.
SPEAKER_02 (48:06):
We're gonna be all right.
But look, I think that is asgood a mic drop as any.
Look, I can't wait for all thelaunch parties.
Boom, boom, boom.
Um, there's so much more tocome.
But look, if you heard nothingelse, go into this last quarter
of the calendar year withintention.
(48:27):
Let you happen to it.
Don't let it happen to you.
Really think about yourwithdrawals and your deposits.
And now is the time to startbuilding the vision for what
2026 looks like for you.
What are you launching into thisworld?
What are you celebratingthrough?
What is it, right?
(48:47):
Answer those few questions foryourself.
All right, DT, we'll see yousoon.
Later, babe.
SPEAKER_01 (48:52):
Love you, sis.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_02 (48:56):
Bye bye.
Denise.
Chandra.
No stranger to proven notperfect.
None.
Um, in fact, we had you for animpromptu, it was supposed to be
a catch-up, personal catch up,and it turned into a whole
podcast that we shared with theworld.
But this time there's a bit moreintentionality.
There is something on my mind,and I was thinking about this,
(01:17):
and I was like, you know, I wantto have this conversation, but I
also want to be intentional withwho I choose to have it with.
And you're one of those leaderswho brings such intentionality
to the spaces and places thatyou inhabit that I thought that
you'd be perfect for thisdiscussion with us.
Okay.
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (01:36):
Thank you.
I received that.
Thanks so much.
I'm trying to figure out becauseyou know, I'm looking at you
here.
Yeah.
And then there's okay, so I'mgonna try to get right in here
on right in here.
I'm right here.
SPEAKER_02 (01:51):
I'm like, I'm looking at you.
No, I'm not.
Thanks to Zoom and all of thenew features.
Thanks to Zoom.
SPEAKER_01 (01:59):
Zoom now is you can pay us later.
SPEAKER_02 (02:02):
We'll appreciate it.
Right.
We'll check all the sponsorshipfor sure.
So here is the question on mymind.
Now that we are officially inthe fourth quarter of the
calendar year, it's crazy.
And for a lot of us, we scurriedfrom summer right on into fall.
(02:23):
And now we open our eyes andit's October.
Everyone's inevitably lookingback and thinking, what was on
their list that they didn'taccomplish?
And they're thinking, what'sstill on their list yet to do
for the end of the year?
I don't know how many people arereally bringing intentionality
to the setup for 2026 andbeyond, but let's just focus on
(02:50):
the next year for now, right?
And so I thought, let me tapinto your wisdom and ask you now
that you're entering the fourthquarter of the year, what's top
of mind for you as you do a lookback on the year that we're in
and you start to look forward tothe future?
SPEAKER_01 (03:08):
Well, the first word that comes to my mind is
rapping.
Ooh.
This year, and we say that everyyear, it's like, man, this year
just flew by.
Yeah.
And I'm just starting to acceptthe fact that the older and
wiser we are becoming.
And when I say we, for thosethat are 40 and over, yes, I
(03:30):
feel like ever since I becamepart of the 40s club, which
this, by the way, Chantra, is mylast year.
So next year, I'm a bicentennialbaby.
So I'll be celebrating my 50thwith the country's 250th.
Wow.
And so I just believe that asI'm wrapping up the 40s, going
(03:52):
back to your question, there'sso much, whether it's networks,
whether it's philanthropy,whether it's family, everything
that I believe it's thateverything that we do combined
(04:14):
with the rapid rate oftechnology, I I strongly
believe, Chantra, that that'sone of the reasons why we feel
as though the year flies by, andyet to your point, when we
reflect and think, what did Iget accomplished this year?
(04:35):
Because think about it.
What used to be where, okay, I'mleaving the office and I'm
leaving work.
That's no longer the case.
Accessibility combined with therapid rate of technology is
where I think we really need tofocus in on intentionality.
(05:01):
And the reason why I say that isbecause sometimes I have to take
a step back.
Literally, I'm not even, I'mwon't even be dishonest and say
every now again or sometimes.
Every day is part of myreflection process.
SPEAKER_00 (05:17):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (05:19):
I'm not asking how much I accomplished today.
I'm asking how many withdrawalsdid I allow and how many
deposits did I receive?
That is the question I askmyself every day.
SPEAKER_02 (05:34):
How many withdrawals?
Yep.
How many deposits?
So unpack that a little bit forthis new language for a lot of
people.
SPEAKER_01 (05:46):
When your account is overdrawn, there's a variety of
emotions.
And listen, you know, because Iknow your audience is of high
caliber.
I get it.
But there's not too many folksin this thing called life that
can say, I've never had anoverdrawn account.
We've all been there, you know,during our formative years.
(06:08):
And when you think about whatthat felt like, you know,
whether it was humiliation,frustration, anxiety, there's so
many emotions that areassociated with having an
account overdrawn.
Yes.
And the simple formula, Chantra,is I had this much money in my
(06:30):
account.
Yes.
But yet I was allowing all thesethe withdrawals to come in and
there wasn't sufficient funds.
It's the same principle with usas people.
We allow, we allow people tomake withdrawals, but yet we're
not making enough deposits.
(06:51):
And then we literally feeloverdrawn.
That's burnout.
Yes.
So that's why it's important forme every day to say, okay, is my
account full?
Do I have sufficient funds in myaccount?
SPEAKER_02 (07:06):
How do you course correct?
SPEAKER_01 (07:08):
Ooh.
SPEAKER_02 (07:09):
So I think you're everything you're saying is spot
on.
But what are some of yourstrategies to sort of course
correct when you feel like, youknow what?
I'm looking at the deposits, I'mlooking at the withdrawals, and
I'm out of balance.
Um, especially when you look atyour calendar and it still has
all of those commitments thatyou made when you were in
(07:30):
balance, right?
And so I think, especially as westart to ratchet up on this back
half of the year, folks dotypically start to see lots of
withdrawals, right?
It's it's the one more event,it's the one more meeting, um,
making space for the one moretrip.
Not a whole lot of space todeposit anything that hasn't
(07:52):
been in there already.
So I guess what I'd love tounpack with you are as folks
start to end this year, arethere maybe two or three things
that you would just kind of putout there that you do yourself
that might be very useful toolsfor folks who don't have a
(08:13):
practice or maybe have one, butfeel like they can fine-tune it?
SPEAKER_01 (08:18):
Great question.
I'm so glad you asked thatquestion.
It's the same principle.
So when we do realize that ouraccounts, our bank accounts, are
having way more withdrawals thandeposits, the first thing we do
is we'll analyze, we'll say,okay, let me look at all these
(08:41):
subscriptions that areautomatically withdrawn out of
my account.
Let me look at all theseautomatic payments.
Let me assess what actually isnecessary andor bringing me
value versus something that I'mjust paying for and I'm not even
utilizing.
That's the same principle,Chantra, that you should apply
(09:01):
with people.
Wow.
And it and it hurts, I mean,because even when I say it and
your response was, wow, that'show I felt too.
However, the more and more thatI apply that principle, and this
is daily.
SPEAKER_00 (09:16):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:17):
You know, like data analysts, people that are
listening to this and watchingthis, there's some people who
are very data-driven.
They're analytical.
Okay.
I don't need the fluff, I wantthe data.
I don't want feelings, I wantfacts.
I so appreciate that becausethat's the same type of
methodology that you shouldapply when it comes to assessing
(09:41):
who, what, and where are takingway more withdrawals than
deposits in my life.
And it's gonna sting because atfirst, you know, you might say,
wow, every time this person hasaccess to me, whether it's a
text, a phone call, you know, anin-person meeting, even you
(10:02):
know, this person who I workwith, they do a lot more taking
out of me than they do giving.
That's a flag.
And I will say this since Istarted applying that method,
I've gained what all of us, whenwe assess what's causing
burnout, I've gained more time.
(10:26):
I've gained more clarity.
And here's the big one I'vegained more prosperity.
Prosperity has nothing to dowith money.
Yes, prosperity has nothing todo with how many cars are in
your garage, or you know, howmany homes you you you invest
in.
Prosperity is one thing and onething only, that is peace.
(10:50):
That's it.
Priceless.
When you when you say I I I wantyou to have a prosperous life,
or I I am striving to beprosperous, you are striving or
praying for or asking for peace.
Which is I there's nothing,Chantra, that I could think of
(11:12):
that is more valuable thanpeace.
SPEAKER_02 (11:16):
Totally agree with you.
That's what God is.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Absolutely.
And when the presence of peaceisn't there.
So I think that's an excellentrubric, though.
So, you know, one of the thingsthat that you're really just
nailing is as you take your ownpersonal inventory and you start
moving toward the back afterthis year, it's not too soon to
(11:37):
start saying, Where's the deadweight in my life?
Right.
And that dead weight can beovercommitments, right?
I find I found just yesterdaythat I made a new commitment on
top of a commitment that Ialready had.
Um, now I have to reconcilewhich of the commitments is
going to beat the other one,right?
(11:58):
Which is not a good place to be,right?
But, you know, we all findourselves there.
It's now what do you do?
How do you rationalize the factthat you have to and you can
only do one, right?
Um, it's it's a very real thing.
And it's going to it's going tocontinue to creep up because I
think with all these portals ofentry that you launched us with,
(12:22):
all the portals of entry arethat it's not, it's not
stopping, they're not slowing,they are there, they're getting
faster.
So now it's figuring out how youget efficient on top of all the
portals of entry for all theevents and places and spaces you
need to be.
It's a whole lot.
SPEAKER_01 (12:38):
Listen, that just happened to me, Chantra.
And and this is where it's asimple formula for me.
Yeah.
When you're when you're in theposition of which who gets my
time and who doesn't now thatI've realized I've I've
overbooked or I've doublebooked.
Impact.
SPEAKER_00 (12:55):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (12:56):
That's always my my anchor is based on this
decision, who or what is goingto have the most impact?
On you are you on it?
Me on them.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (13:12):
Thank you for that.
Even though you answer myquestion for which I was gonna
pick.
Because here's going to impactme, but the other one I believe
I will impact.
It's a smaller community offolks who are quite frankly
seeking light.
The other one is a largercommunity of folks who all are
(13:35):
exuding the light, or at least,you know.
And so my greater self was like,hang on.
SPEAKER_01 (13:43):
Which place really should you choose to be?
Whichever place you are going tohave the most impact on them.
Do not focus on quantity, focuson the quality.
So, for example, I could beinvited, and now this is just an
example.
I don't want any of our clientswho may be listening to be like,
(14:04):
is she talking about me?
SPEAKER_02 (14:07):
I don't want people trying to reconcile who I just
who I just deciphered upbetween, right?
That could be two of my friendsin uh Japan and Australia.
So just don't even try.
SPEAKER_01 (14:20):
I break this down just really quick.
You could have an invitation bya notable, distinguished leader
of the world.
Yes, and they their team reachesout to your team and says, you
know, I would love to havedinner with Chantra and learn
(14:43):
more about her services, herjourney, her leadership.
And you're thinking, you had meat hello, because this person
again, and then you accidentallyor inadvertently book, let's
say, a keynote for a nonprofitorganization.
(15:05):
Yes, and they're gonna give youmaybe whatever they can give you
in terms of stipend honor.
Yeah.
So this is where you know thethe the brain is gonna say, go
with the notable leader.
I mean, man.
And then the heart and the gutprobably is gonna say, based on
(15:28):
impact, I need to go and and anddo my work with this nonprofit.
That's just an example.
But ultimately, it's alwayschess, it's never checkers.
And the chess component whereyou get to say checkmate, is
where whatever decision that youmake, Sandra, when you reflect
(15:50):
on that decision, where did Imake the most impact?
Oh, and I, you know, it's gonnahappen to the best of us, and
that's where we also, inaddition to assessing the
impact, please, please, please,please, even if they don't, give
yourself grace.
And how you do that, challengefor because I know a lot of
(16:11):
people are gonna say, Well, howdo you do that?
You remind yourself that you'rea good person.
Yes, do you do you you feel whatI'm saying?
Like you have to know that goodpeople make mistakes, and it
doesn't there's grace there forit, right?
SPEAKER_02 (16:29):
Um I've I had a conversation recently with a
friend, and you know, it came upthis if you are guided by strong
values, core values, principalbeliefs, that there is a wisdom
and a discernment and a spiritthat goes with your best
(16:52):
decisions at a point in time,given the information that you
have.
The reality is, even if it endsup looking like, man, why did I
decide to do that?
You're probably exactly whereyou were supposed to be.
I love that.
And wait, but but here's when Iwhen it blew my mind when we
(17:12):
unpack this.
Whatever your core values andbeliefs are, that spirit guide
in your heart knew where youwere gonna go anyway.
Ooh.
So the grace was already there.
So even though you're you'refinding it out, you're like,
wow, why did I decide this?
There were lessons to belearned.
(17:34):
To my sister Denise's point,there were there was an impact
to be made, even in whatperceptibly looked like your bad
decision.
SPEAKER_01 (17:46):
I love this.
Yeah, and you know, that's I Ilove the way it releases us,
right?
Because I have to look we haveto, yeah.
That's our superpower.
That's one of our superpowers isthe grace, the understanding,
and the self-activation of it.
Because and here's what you haveto be okay with either party's
(18:07):
initial reaction to you saying,Hey, here's what happened.
Yeah, I I accidentally, youknow, double booked.
Yes, you mean the world to me.
I have to make this decision, itwas difficult.
And and please be okay with,they're gonna be upset.
We're human.
(18:28):
That's a natural, but understandthat that will pass.
SPEAKER_02 (18:31):
It will pass.
SPEAKER_01 (18:33):
You know, because I know there's been times where
someone may have or communicateda decision that they were making
that I wasn't happy with, and myinitial reaction was
frustration, disappointment, allthese you know, negative
emotions.
But after I slept on it, I wokeup, I was okay.
(18:54):
And then I reached out to thatperson again and said, you know
what?
I initially was disappointed orinitially felt blank.
But after some reflection andgetting a good night's sleep, I
just want you to know Iunderstand and I appreciate your
openness and sharing that withme.
So I it again, you have to justbe okay with which Chantra, this
(19:16):
is a great segue into this pointthat the spirit is telling me to
share too.
It's like people can't bedisappointed or frustrated
anymore without the other personsaying, You're attacking me.
And I think as humans, we haveto get yes, we we we have to get
(19:41):
back to you need to take itdown.
SPEAKER_02 (19:43):
Like I honestly do a collective inhale, exhale.
Can we just do that now, even inthe places and put wherever you
are right now?
SPEAKER_00 (19:56):
Let's do it.
SPEAKER_02 (19:57):
I think one, two, three, inhale, exhale.
SPEAKER_01 (20:04):
Oh, that feels so good.
SPEAKER_02 (20:06):
For somebody that was the first time they maybe
have done that all day.
And it feels so good becausethat's what how we're living
right now.
But yeah, it's like we gotta beperfect, and I'm like, no, I'm
human.
SPEAKER_01 (20:20):
The way that the most high designed me, I have an
array of emotions.
Yes, and some days, you know thething about it, Chantra, for you
and for many of us that are inthis room right now, that are
listening and watching thisincredible podcast, we put so
much pressure on ourselves toplease everybody and make people
happy and and and make ourselveslook so perfect on social media.
(20:45):
So that so it gets to the pointwhere you've done all that, but
then when you finally have asituation where you need to be
frustrated or upset ordisappointed, everyone's like,
the nerve.
SPEAKER_02 (20:58):
I thought she was Miss Happy Cloud.
SPEAKER_01 (21:03):
You see, you see what I'm saying?
And it's like for so going backto the original question, I'm
more comfortable now remindingpeople that as much, because a
lot of people, when they use oneword to describe me, and that
was intentional, is energy.
And I appreciate that because Iknow that my energy is a
(21:24):
superpower that positivelyimpacts that word again, so many
people.
And I appreciate the most hightrusting me and blessing me with
that gift.
With that being said, sister,there there are days where I'm
different.
Yes.
I'll say this quick story, andthe and the person that said it
(21:47):
may be watching this, and theythey didn't understand the
impact, but that's okay.
This person said to me, Yeah,Denise, you know, few few
people, side note, stay awayfrom folks who say, folks are
saying this about you.
But that's a whole notherepisode.
SPEAKER_02 (22:06):
Another episode.
Look, I love I love the trilogywe're building.
SPEAKER_01 (22:10):
Right.
This person said, you know,Denise, there are some folks
that say you're different whenyou're not on the stage, you're
different from when you'reyou're off the stage.
You're so nice and and highenergy when you're on the stage,
but when you get off the stage,you're different.
I'm like, uh yeah, it's calledpersona.
(22:31):
Yes.
This this incredible woman righthere.
I don't know if you can see her.
She is my Shiro, one of them,Tina Turner.
Yes.
Let me show you how God works.
Because when that person said itto me, Shantra, what do you
think my immediate reaction was?
SPEAKER_02 (22:48):
Well, I mean, you're human.
So immediately you're sort oflike, really?
I'm like, really?
SPEAKER_01 (22:56):
I gotta fix this.
I gotta be, you know, highenergy all the time.
I'm showing you how God works.
I study the best every nightbefore I go to bed.
Because if you want to be thebest, you gotta study the best.
Okay, shout out to WhitneyHouston who taught me that.
Not personally.
(23:16):
And there was a video that camein on my social media feed, and
it was literally Tina Turnerduring an interview.
Wow.
And she was sharing with theinterviewer that I'm not Tina
Turner once I get off thatstage.
And she didn't say she was animebullet, but she did say I'm not
what you see.
(23:36):
And chant her the immediaterelease that that gave me that
freedom, that permission to knowthat people who are anointed and
have gifts to where they canentertain people through their
words or through their presence,that can be exhausting.
(23:57):
Girl, you need to replenish.
Which goes back, see, see howthat works?
Now we're back to thewithdrawals and the deposits.
Yes, because when I'm on stage,when you're on stage, we are
focused on making sure that ouraudience is getting exactly what
they deserve, and that is thebest.
(24:19):
Amen.
Why do you think Beyonce doesn'tsay too much?
Now I get it.
Now I get it.
I'm like, because I rememberwhen you know when I first when
she first started, you know,really starting to elevate as
this global icon, one of thevery inconsiderate judgments I
made on Beyoncé was she doesn'tknow how to communicate, she
(24:43):
doesn't know how to speak, shedoesn't really talk that much.
To me, she's socially awkward.
But remember what we said in thebeginning, Chantra.
The older you become, the wiser,not just based on books, but
just experiences.
So now I totally get why Beyoncédoesn't say diddly squat.
SPEAKER_00 (25:04):
That's right.
SPEAKER_01 (25:06):
All that she has given the world she's given us
that she gives on stage.
I've seen Beyonce in concert.
Let me tell you right now.
Yes, I mean she's human, butshe's not, she's otherworldly.
That is one of the mostanointing, and so you you you
you have to number one assessthe impact in everything that
(25:29):
you do.
Number two, make sure that asmuch as you are allowing people,
places, and things to withdrawfrom you, because many of us we
make it look so easy.
Yes, and we and and the morethat you and it is easy if it's
your length.
SPEAKER_02 (25:47):
And I think that that's that's that's a truth,
too, right?
Because we should seek thethings that are easy, it should
be easy.
SPEAKER_01 (25:56):
Yes, the older we become.
Yes, and so with that, I'm okaywith uh knowing that when I get
off that stage and I've given mybest, which I always do.
Yes, I'm undefeated when itcomes to giving my best and
(26:17):
being mediocre.
I'm undefeated.
Yes, my record is like 582 andoh.
Okay, and that's intentional.
I have to also be okay with yes,it's important for me to connect
with people as much as I love tobe connected to.
(26:41):
However, with that being said,it's also important for me to
know when to say, I'm overdrawn,I need more deposits.
SPEAKER_02 (26:51):
So if you hear nothing else, as you approach
the back half of this year andstart visioning what the next
part of the year looks like,anybody listening to us,
understand your own personalinventory.
That's it.
(27:12):
Be clear about what it is todayand about what you're gearing up
for in the future.
Now, I want to pivot because Iknow that you're gearing up for
the future and you're gearing upfor something very special.
So I would imagine, yes, yes,yes, as we're closing out 2025,
there's intentionality thatyou're bringing to what's
(27:36):
depositing and how many depositsyou're making space for.
So that you have a whole lot ofenergy to walk into 2026, ready
to probably tip a little bit onwithdrawals, right?
Tell me what I'm talking about.
What am I talking about?
SPEAKER_01 (27:52):
So this year, as we're closing, and and to your
point, launching into 2026, I Icannot even believe I'm saying
this, but I am so excited,thankful, grateful to announce
right here.
Yes, on the future is brightpodcast.
(28:13):
Yes, posted, curated, producedby the Chantra Pap.
My highly anticipated debutbook.
Yes.
Yes, so excited.
You know, it's kind of like ithasn't hit me yet.
(28:33):
I know, right?
It just it hasn't hit me yet,and I I need to to make space
and time to just be with thebook.
But again, the the book istitled The Only One in the Room.
SPEAKER_02 (28:50):
So tell us about that.
Tell us what what can we expect?
What what give us a little bitof a snack here?
The only one in the room.
What what was the inspiration?
Fiction, nonfiction.
Um, you know, give us a littlebit, a little bit of more.
SPEAKER_01 (29:04):
Yeah, no, this all great question.
So, in terms of it's kind oflike uh the same way that I got
into entrepreneurship.
There was one point where I waslike, I'm never gonna work for
me, I'm never gonna be anentrepreneur.
I I need guaranteed, I needsecurity, I need a stable
income.
Yeah, and then it's funny howthat saying says when you plan
(29:27):
something, that's the best wayto make God laugh.
Yes.
So obviously, God had otherthings in plan for in store for
me as part of his plan.
And so I'm sorry, and you werelistening, and I was lit.
Thank you for calling that outbecause it's a lot of times we
we pray for things and then wedon't listen.
So then, fast forward about twoand a half years, no, two years
(29:51):
ago, I was uh a guest keynotespeaker at a conference, and
there were two guest keynotespeakers.
So I kicked off the morning, andthen there was another keynote
that kicked off the afternoon bythe name of Stephen Covey of
Franklin Covey.
Come on now, New York Timesbestseller.
(30:12):
Wow, fire, Mr.
Covey.
Now, now mind you.
SPEAKER_02 (30:18):
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
We all gotta walk with you onthis journey.
So let's understand this.
You were just doing what you do,where you said winning 580 to
none, right?
Showing up with excellence overmediocrity winning every time.
So you showed up to thatwhatever hundredth experience
that was, happened to be placedin a scenario where you were in
(30:45):
a space with someone that couldperhaps pour seed and change the
course and trajectory of yourlife.
SPEAKER_01 (30:55):
Thank you for saying that, Chantra.
I could listen, I'm just not acommunication coach.
I could not have said it better.
Thank you for saying that.
Because, you know, yourlisteners, your audience, they
also needed that.
Because to your point, I knewthat Stephen Covey was going to
be the keynote speaker in theafternoon.
(31:18):
I knew who he was.
I've worked for companies thatuse the Franklin Covey
leadership model as one of theirkey components of developing
high potential employees.
So I I know I knew all of that.
You know, sharing the stage withthe same stage, I should say,
(31:40):
with Stephen Covey.
I'm like, so of course, when theafternoon comes and I'm like,
listen, I'm gonna be in theaudience.
Can I stay?
And my the client was like, ofcourse.
Afterwards, I'm literally, Iremember like it was yesterday,
Chantra.
I'm placing my items in my bagand I'm getting ready to head to
(32:02):
the airport.
unknown (32:03):
Mr.
SPEAKER_01 (32:04):
Cubby walks up to me.
Wow.
He says, I heard you speak thismorning, and he simply said, You
are amazing.
But now she's I'm like, oh mygoodness, thank you.
That means so much to me comingfrom you.
Like, thank you.
Then he proceeds to say, There'sa book in you.
(32:28):
No, I I take that back.
I'm sorry.
He says, How many books have youhave you written?
I said, zero.
He said, There's a book in you.
He said, I'll tell you what.
If I connect you with some goodpeople that can help you write
your first book, as long as youcomplete it, I'll write the
(32:54):
forward to your first book.
I was like, done.
Look, you should have led withthat.
Thus, we have the only one, andI'm I'm looking at my screen so
I made sure I read thiscorrectly.
The only one in the room, how totransform differences into
strengths, communicate withimpact, and lead with
(33:18):
confidence.
Forward by Stephen M.
R.
Cubby.
Wow.
I'm trying to see if I can maybesee this.
SPEAKER_00 (33:27):
So yeah, there's the book.
SPEAKER_02 (33:31):
That's the book covered.
Oh my gosh.
Look at there.
There's the beauty.
SPEAKER_01 (33:35):
There's the beauty.
There she is, right there.
And so she's coming out October11th.
Today is October 2nd.
And Chantra, you already knowyou're going to receive a copy.
I would be honored for you toread it.
Oh my gosh.
Your brain is brilliant.
So I just definitely want folkslike you to read the book.
(33:58):
But it's it's for everyone.
Yes.
This book is so important toyour earlier question in terms
of timeliness, because there'snever been a time, at least
once, where, regardless of yourrole, regardless of your level,
regardless of your physicalappearance, that at one point
(34:23):
you've asked yourself, do Ibelong here?
There's not one person.
Everybody has.
Everybody has experienced amoment, yes, which could have
been detrimental or could havebeen the launch of, you know, do
I belong in this room?
Do I belong here?
So this book is literally foranyone who has ever asked that
(34:48):
question.
And the relevance as it relatesto current day.
There's a lot of us that are,even from the pandemic, so 2020
through current day, 2025, fiveyears later, who have really
been focusing on who am I?
Yeah.
Am I am I located where I'msupposed to be located?
(35:11):
Am I working where I'm supposedto be working?
Am I doing the things that I'msupposed to be doing?
Am I living the way that I'msupposed to be living?
And that has everything to dowith how you're engaging every
day.
And so this book is really goingto help people develop their
voice, refine their existingvoice, elevate their brand, and
(35:36):
really learn how to communicatein a way that is valuable, that
is relevant, that is motivating.
We all need that.
SPEAKER_02 (35:46):
Every one of us.
Everybody.
And there's no, there's noyou've mastered it unless you've
mastered it.
And very few have, right?
And I think in particular rightnow, as there's so much noise,
right?
I think the ability to controlnot only the placement of your
(36:08):
voice, the intonation of yourvoice, the softness.
SPEAKER_01 (36:14):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (36:16):
All of it, right?
Um, I'm excited.
I cannot wait to read the book.
SPEAKER_01 (36:21):
And it's engaging, just so you know, this is to
answer your question, how thisbook differentiates from other
books is it's a hybrid.
So all of this is based onpersonal and professional
experiences, which I get into alot of detail.
I'm very candid.
And most people that know meknow I'm very candid.
Yes.
Like you can't.
(36:41):
One thing no one can say aboutDenise is that I don't know how
she feels.
I don't know what worked about.
Yes, you do.
You do.
So yes, this book is the samereflection of that part of me
because you deserve that.
And then, secondly, it's veryengaging.
This is going to be like one ofthose books where you have the
(37:04):
highlights, the littlebookmarker post-it notes.
This is going to be a blueprint.
Because as much as I provideinsight, wisdom, tools, it's
going to inspire you to do thesame.
And we have intentional places.
So the team that I work with, wehave intentional places in the
(37:24):
book.
SPEAKER_00 (37:25):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (37:25):
Where you'll be able to write your thoughts.
A lot of truth bombs, a lot ofinteractive exercises, a lot of
accountability in the book.
A lot of reminders on howamazing you are, even when you
are the only one in the room.
And remember, Chantra, being theonly one in the room isn't
always about physicalappearance.
SPEAKER_02 (37:46):
Right.
Absolutely right.
SPEAKER_01 (37:47):
You could be someone who's been described as
introverted.
SPEAKER_02 (37:51):
That's right.
SPEAKER_01 (37:52):
And what I'm reminding you is that, you know,
there's power in being quiet.
It's just your responsibility toeducate people on the power of
being a processor, of being anobserver.
SPEAKER_02 (38:06):
Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_01 (38:07):
I don't always need to be the loudest one in the
room to be the most.
And this goes back to our word.
Impactful.
SPEAKER_02 (38:14):
Wow.
This is great.
So it's a great book.
So tell, tell me, as you as youthink about 2026 and walking
into this new place with thebook.
Um, you know, what excites youand what sort of pings at your
heart a little bit?
Like, ooh, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01 (38:37):
You know what excites me, Shantra?
And again, thank you so much forthese just responsible
questions.
That there's still more good inthis world than evil.
2025 celebrated a lot of evilpeople, evil places, evil
things.
And that's and that's hard for alot of people to to digest.
SPEAKER_02 (38:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (39:01):
And what we have to remind ourselves is that there's
still more good than not.
Taking that into 2026,obviously, I'm gonna be focused
on promoting this book.
Yeah, we're gonna have virtualbook launches, book club
(39:21):
parties.
Uh and when I say we, Mr.
Covey and I, he's gonna join me.
Come on, yeah.
So you're gonna see a lot of DTand Mr.
Covey promoting this book.
And I just want people tounderstand that whether you're
the only one in the room basedon physical appearance, based on
(39:43):
work style, personality,persona, whatever, is that you
have a valuable voice thatdeserves to be heard.
And the number one thing,Shantra, that people literally
the number one thing out ofevery area of communication that
people will ask me to coach themon or even reintroduce is
(40:06):
confidence.
This book, it's gonna remind youthat you don't need to be taught
how to be competent.
You just gotta get rid of allthat noise.
Get those layers out of the way.
Because the confidence is here.
And that's what this book isgonna help you do.
You're gonna literally hear myvoice when you're reading this
book because you know, when Iwas writing.
SPEAKER_02 (40:27):
Energy is gonna come through.
It's gonna come through.
I already know it.
Haven't read a page, but I justthink that that's the light that
you bear, right?
And quite frankly, to God be theglory, that's what Mr.
Covey saw, right?
And I just think, you know, it'stime to illuminate, illuminate
that light, to share it, um, andto help turn on some lights
(40:52):
where they may have gotten alittle dim, right?
Um, this is a season where I dofeel a momentum and a movement
around turning on lights, beingconfident, being bold, um, being
considerate, being kind, holdingspace when people maybe don't
have the strength to hold it forthemselves.
(41:12):
We have folks that are willingto do that.
And any strike of a matchopportunities to do that right
now, I think are blessed.
And that's what I think the onlyone is going to be one of those
strike of the match.
And, you know, to Mr.
Covey, I just say, you know, I'mgonna call him, I'm gonna call
him Mr.
Covey until, you know, we I getto know Steve, right?
(41:34):
But I'll say I'll say to himnow, look, I mean, thank you for
modeling the behavior that weshould all model, right?
Because it's very easy to get toa place of, okay, great, I've
done that, and then sort of becomfortable there.
I don't believe that that's whyGod shines our light.
(41:57):
I don't believe that's why thegifts are deposited.
They are, I believe, tounderstand them, understand them
responsibly, and start to seedothers and not make clones
because we're not clones, right?
SPEAKER_01 (42:14):
No need to be, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (42:15):
There's no need to be a clone.
When I water that fertile soilon somebody else, there's an
expectation that what sprouts isnot gonna be mini Chantron or
mini Denise or many Mr.
Covey, right?
It's going to be DT in the waythat only DT can be.
And man, I just think thebrilliance of So I gotta say
(42:38):
this.
SPEAKER_01 (42:39):
Yes, pardon me for a second, Chantra.
I'm gonna talk to your audience.
Let me tell y'all how incrediblygifted this woman is.
We have not had a very detailedconversation about this book,
but going back about 60 seconds,Chantra brought up the word
light and associate that with mybook.
(42:59):
Like, this book is gonna be alight.
Now, let me just say this toagain, all of Shantra's viewers
and listeners.
Let me tell you how brilliant Iknow she is.
She had no clue that the reason,and I'm gonna see if I can share
it again.
When we were designing, andshout out to Mel Wise, who
(43:20):
designed the book cover.
You see how the word one ishighlighted in yellow?
Yes.
Guess what word we used when wedecided to highlight that in
yellow?
We said we want this to be thelight.
We want people when they see theword one, they see that as a
light.
And you just said it.
That's why I almost fell out mychair when you were speaking.
(43:42):
I was like, so I'm sorry, carryon, Shantra.
I promise.
Oh, I promise.
Wow, that was the wholeintention of highlighting the
word one in the title.
If you notice that's the onlyword, only word, yeah.
And that is to represent thatthis there we go is is the
(44:02):
light.
You are the light, you are theone.
Even if you're the only one, youare the light.
SPEAKER_02 (44:07):
Wow.
And you got it.
Uniquely Chantra Pow! Well, youknow what, honestly, I just
think that when something makessense, it just makes sense.
And, you know, it starts toresonate in the way that it was
intended to.
So me, it just affirms that whatyou're put releasing into the
world um really, really is onthe precipice of something
(44:30):
that's that's not even going tobe impactful for today.
It's going to be impactful formany, many years as we sort of
continue to shift throughdynamic changes, um, learn new
things together as human beingsright now, who are all figuring
out new ways of being at thesame time.
(44:51):
Um, shifts in everything we'vecome to know, even economically,
right?
Um, where markets behavedifferently fundamentally
because they're differentinstruments for markets to
navigate, right?
Um so, you know, I I think neverhas there been a more dynamic
time with so many shifts atonce.
(45:11):
The the responsibility is sogreat.
And I'm again, I couldn't bemore excited to be a part of the
DT Club as we go into 2026 andexperience um experience this
great celebration of this workthat you've birthed.
Thank you, really.
SPEAKER_01 (45:29):
Seriously, that means sis, and I just love you
so much because you talk aboutlight.
You should be very wellacquainted with light because
your light exudes way more thanyou could ever imagine, Chantra.
You are a force, you are alight.
And the fact that you havecurated this space to have,
because you know, right now,podcasts are everywhere.
(45:51):
Is it was funny because I'veI've I keep getting this
pressure.
Denise, when you have a podcast,I'm like, it's so for me.
I was like, it's so saturated.
Yes, it's but what you've beenable to do is create a space to
where people who traditionallydon't feel comfortable saying
(46:14):
certain things, especially rightnow, you give us that that
comfort, and we so need it.
And I just want to say thisbecause I know we're about to
wrap up.
I just want to say this.
I was driving last week and asong came on that I hadn't heard
in a long time.
Do you remember the song WeDidn't Start the Fire by Billy
(46:34):
Joel?
Yes, so I'm listening to thelyrics, and I thought, man, this
song came out if I had to guess,late 80s, early 90s.
Yes, absolutely.
And it's still relevant todaytoday.
Think about what's going on byMarvin Gash.
(46:57):
That song came out in the late60s, early 70s.
So my point is saying this isfor a lot of us, we're we're
saying things like, oh man, thiswas this was a heck of a year.
What's what's going on?
Or who's to blame?
These artists that wrote thesesongs, it's reminding us that
(47:18):
whether it was the 60s, the 80sor 90s or current state, yes,
there's always gonna besomething to where the incoming
generation is saying, and thenthe outgoing generation is like
that's right.
So we can't keep tellingourselves that man, the world is
(47:39):
just a bad place right now.
It never used to be like this.
Yes, it has, yes, it was.
Yes, it has.
Yes what?
SPEAKER_02 (47:45):
Yes, we're still here, and we're still here,
we're still here.
SPEAKER_01 (47:49):
We made it, and we're gonna continue to make it.
That's right.
We may have not started thefire, we may want to ask
ourselves what's going on, butwith incredible humans like you,
Chantra.
And you, DT.
Come on now.
I receive that.
Yes, in the words of the greatKendrick Lamar, we're gonna be
all right.
SPEAKER_02 (48:06):
We're gonna be all right.
But look, I think that is asgood a mic drop as any.
Look, I can't wait for all thelaunch parties.
Boom, boom, boom.
Um, there's so much more tocome.
But look, if you heard nothingelse, go into this last quarter
of the calendar year withintention.
(48:27):
Let you happen to it.
Don't let it happen to you.
Really think about yourwithdrawals and your deposits.
And now is the time to startbuilding the vision for what
2026 looks like for you.
What are you launching into thisworld?
What are you celebratingthrough?
What is it, right?
(48:47):
Answer those few questions foryourself.
All right, DT, we'll see yousoon.
Later, babe.
SPEAKER_01 (48:52):
Love you, sis.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_02 (48:56):
Bye bye.
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