Proxy with Yowei Shaw

This week, we're presenting an episode of one of our favorite podcasts. 

Heavyweight, hosted by Jonathan Goldstein, creates space for difficult conversations and resolving long-standing regrets and unanswered questions. Balancing humor and empathy, host Jonathan Goldstein helps his subjects pinpoint the moment things went wrong and joins them on a quest to make them right.

This episode is about Anita, who, on her flight, to ...

Erin wants to forgive the person she's holding a grudge against, but doesn't know how. Is it possible to just disappear resentment?

From the episode: 

• Find Robert Enright's forgiveness program and other free resources at the International Forgiveness Institute: www.internationalforgiveness.com
• Read Bob's book Forgiveness Is A Choice: A Step-By-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope
• Learn more about Bo...

Yaroslava’s town in Ukraine was taken by Russians. She's now safe in the US. But how do you make a new life when you feel guilty about not being home?

For one week every summer at Dignity Beyond Borders, young people from all over the world who've suffered a traumatic loss due to political violence come together to kayak, make art, and have proxy conversations about topics like this. 

A special conversation between Y...

How close are we to getting to 1000 paying Patreon members so we can cover the costs of making a year two?!

Plus, a conversation with introvert ally (and extrovert) Jennifer Kahnweiler on the changes she's made to get along better with the introverts in her life. 

To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get ad-free episodes, exclusive premium episod...

A historic step in extrovert-introvert relations i.e. a proxy bloodbath roundtable with 2 extroverts and 2 introverts airing our grievances about each other. 

From the episode: 

• Learn more about Aparna Nancherla, read her book Unreliable Narrator, and follow her on Instagram @aparnapkin
• Learn more about Ryan Letts at Pando Integration Coaching
• Learn more about Jennifer Kahnweiler, listen to her podcast Introvert A...

At the heart of many family estrangements lies a mystery. Adult kids insist they’ve told their parents why they’re walking away, while parents say they don’t understand. Why is it sometimes so hard for parents to hear their kids? And how to get through?

From the episode: 

• Learn more about Becca Bland and her work with families and people surviving estrangement
• Learn more about Joshua Coleman, subscribe to his news...

The case of the mom who doesn’t understand, and the daughter who’s done explaining.

From the episode: 

• Learn more about Chess Dugas, subscribe to her YouTube channel The Scapegoat Club, and follow her on TikTok
• Learn more about Joshua Coleman, subscribe to his newsletter Family Troubles, and read his book New Rules of Estrangement
• Learn more about reporter Kim Nederveen Pieterse

Help us get to 1500 payi...

Alex used to host a huge podcast (Reply All). He now makes a new independent show called Hyperfixed. He loves making it. Only problem is, Alex now has to ask for money all the time to survive, which he hates doing.

From the episode: 

• Listen to Alex Goldman's new podcast Hyperfixed
• Learn more about Haley Bash and Donor Organizer Hub, a support network for people who fundraise for under-resourced causes
• The Accidenta...

Ever since the election, Sandy Ernest Allen has been clocking a strange silence from cis people about trans rights. So Sandy reached into the void to hear what the silence had to say.

From the episode: 

• Learn more about Sandy Ernest Allen and his work
• Sandy's newsletter What's Helping Today
• For suggestions on how to support trans people, read"To Cis People Who Feel Despair"
• Follow Sandy on Bluesky @sandyernestalle...

Anya Kamenetz was having trouble coping with the state of the world. So she decided to report on those feelings. In this conversation, Anya shares what she learned from talking to scientists, activists, and thinkers about our collective emotions - why we feel the things we do, the limits of those feelings, and how to move through them to take action. 

From the episode: 

• Learn more about Anya Kamenetz and her work
• Re...

A conversation with Dr. Alissa Ackerman about her restorative justice work on the frontlines of Me Too, using proxy-like conversations. 

This is a Patreon exclusive premium episode we're releasing on the main feed. If you want to hear more conversations like this, consider joining our Patreon, starting at $5 a month.

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative j...

The case of the people person who fell out of love with people. 

From the episode: 

• Learn more about Zakiya Gibbons
• Follow Zakiya on Instagram @zak_sauce
• Learn more about Dr. William Chopik and his research
• Follow Bill on Bluesky @Chops310 or X @Chops310

To hear Zakiya get more help on her conundrum and learn about the science of intuition, check out her Science of Happiness podcast episode coming this Th...

Yowei doesn't have an internal narrator telling stories about her life - at least a voice she can hear in her head. She talks to psychology professor Jonathan Adler about what this means and what anyone can do to strengthen their self-narrator, if they wanted to. 

To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get ad-free episodes, exclusive premium episodes,...

The case of Amanda, a writer whose internal monologue won't stop narrating her life, instead of just letting her live it.

From the episode: 

• Read Amanda Montell's books The Age of Magical Overthinking, Cultish, and Wordslut
• Listen to Amanda's podcasts Magical Overthinkers and Sounds Like a Cult
• Follow Amanda on Instagram @amanda_montell
• Learn more about Jonathan Adler's work
• Follow Jonathan on X @JonathanMAdler,...

When someone with Alzheimer's gets upset about something that isn't actually happening, it can be easy to dismiss their feelings. But what if we approached those feelings not as problems to get rid of, but mysteries to solve? Psychologist Claudia Drossel unpacks the feelings of people with Alzheimer's and how to decode them to use as a guide to give better care.

To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider ...

The case of Brian, a journalist whose mother-in-law has Alzheimer's. Even though Brian knows she can’t help misremembering things, he can’t stop losing his patience with her, and with himself. 

From the episode: 

• Listen to Brian Reed's podcast Question Everything
• Follow Brian on Instagram @brihreed and X @BriHReed
• Caregiving resources from Claudia Drossel

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly...

The case of Evan and Chris, best friends who love playing music together. But after the band suffers a terrible tragedy, they find themselves unable to regain their momentum. We pair them up with another musician who’s all too familiar with the neverending drama that comes with being in a band with friends. 

From the episode: 

• Listen to The Superweaks and the single "Blindside" from their new record
• The Superweaks ...

For a long time, Yowei saw her introversion as a character flaw to fix. She gets advice from comedian (and fellow introvert) Aparna Nancherla about how to stop wishing for personality puberty to hit.

From the episode: 

• Read Aparna's book Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Imposter Syndrome
• Learn more about Aparna
• Follow her on Instagram @aparnapkin
• Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talk...