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March 17, 2025 23 mins

The Psychology of Digital Friendships: Navigating Connections in the Digital Age

In this episode of PsyberSpace, host Leslie Poston explores the profound psychological mechanisms underlying friendships in the digital era. The episode digs into how technology affects emotional labor, reciprocity, and vulnerability in relationships. Highlighting research by Dr. Jeffrey Hall, Dr. Sherry Turkle, Dr. John Cacioppo, and others, Leslie discusses the impact of social media platforms like Facebook, TikTok, Snapchat, and Instagram on our ability to form and maintain meaningful connections. The conversation touches on concepts such as the IKEA effect, social homeostasis, the social attention economy, and the intimacy paradox. Practical strategies for achieving deeper digital connections are shared, emphasizing the importance of intentional use of technology, vulnerability, and attentional presence for nurturing authentic relationships.

Bookmark the link to vote for the show in the Women in Podcasting awards! Voting opens in May.  Link to vote: https://www.womenpodcasters.com/awards-leslie-poston

00:00 Introduction to Digital Friendships
01:04 The Emotional Labor of Friendship
01:51 Social Media's Impact on Friendship Depth
03:23 Dunbar's Number and Social Homeostasis
04:24 The Social Attention Economy
05:13 Facebook and Social Comparison
07:42 TikTok and Emotional Contagion
09:56 Different Platforms, Different Dynamics
12:13 Relational Bandwidth and Attachment
16:39 Research Insights and Strategies
21:28 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
23:08 Housekeeping and Sign-Off

References

Bond, B. J. (2016). Following your "friend": Social media and the strength of adolescents' parasocial relationships with media personae. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 19(11), 656-660. 

Brown, B. (2018). Dare to lead: Brave work. Tough conversations. Whole hearts. Random House.

Cacioppo, J. T., & Cacioppo, S. (2018). The growing problem of loneliness. The Lancet, 391(10119), 426.

Dunbar, R. I. M. (1998). The social brain hypothesis. Evolutionary Anthropology, 6(5), 178-190.

Ellison, N. B., Steinfield, C., & Lampe, C. (2007). The benefits of Facebook "friends": Social capital and college students' use of online social network sites. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 12(4), 1143-1168. 

Haidt, J., & Allen, N. (2020). Scrutinizing the effects of digital technology on mental health. Nature, 578, 226-227. 

Hall, J. A. (2019). How many hours does it take to make a friend? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(4), 1278-1296. 

Hall, J. A., & Davis, D. C. (2017). Proposing the communicate bond belong theory: Evolutionary intersections with episodic interpersonal communication. Communication Theory, 27(1), 21-47.

Hampton, K. N., Sessions, L. F., & Her, E. J. (2011). Core networks, social isolation, and new media: How Internet and mobile phone use is related to network size and diversity. Information, Communication & Society, 14(1), 130-155.

Johnson, S. M. (2019). Attachment theory in practice: Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) with individuals, couples, and families. Guilford Press.

Mehrabian, A. (1971). Silent messages. Wadsworth.

Norton, M. I., Mochon, D., & Ariely, D. (2012). The IKEA effect: When labor leads to love. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 22(3), 453-460. 

Scolari, C. A. (2021). Digital ecology: Coevolution of media, audiences, and the environment. The Information Society, 37(1), 12-22. 

Tufekci, Z. (2013). "Not this one": Social movements, the attention economy, and microcelebrity networked activism. American Behavioral Scientist, 57(7), 848-870. 

Turkle, S. (2015). Reclaiming conversation: The power of talk in a digital age. Penguin Press.

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