How to Spot Weaponized Therapy Speak

Therapy Speak: Understanding Its Positive Impact and Identifying Its Misuse

In this episode of PsyberSpace, host Leslie Poston explores the mainstream adoption of 'therapy speak,' explaining its beneficial role in self-understanding and mental health awareness. The script discusses the expansion of psychological terminology into everyday conversations and its revolutionary impact on self-diagnosis, especially among marginalized communities. However, it also addresses the potential misuse of therapy language in relationships, politics, and workplaces to avoid accountability and manipulate others. Leslie outlines how to spot these manipulations and emphasizes the importance of using psychological awareness responsibly to facilitate growth and understanding.

00:00 Introduction to Therapy Speak
00:35 The Rise of Therapy Speak in Everyday Life
01:39 The Benefits of Self-Diagnosis
02:00 The Dark Side: Weaponizing Therapy Speak
02:29 Historical Context and Concept Creep
04:14 The Digital Revolution and Mental Health
07:24 Recognizing Weaponized Therapy Speak in Relationships
11:03 Therapy Speak in Politics
14:13 Therapy Speak in the Workplace
17:33 Framework for Identifying Weaponized Therapy Speak
19:14 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Resources:

Cloitre, M., Stolbach, B. C., Herman, J. L., van der Kolk, B., Pynoos, R., Wang, J., & Petkova, E. (2009). A developmental approach to complex PTSD: Childhood and adult cumulative trauma as predictors of symptom complexity. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 22(5), 399-408.
Haslam, N. (2016). Concept creep: Psychology's expanding concepts of harm and pathology. Psychological Inquiry, 27(1), 1-17. 
Haslam, N., McGrath, M. J., Viechtbauer, W., & Kuppens, P. (2020). Harm inflation: Making sense of concept creep. European Review of Social Psychology, 31(1), 254-286.
Haslam, N., Tse, J. S. Y., & De Deyne, S. (2021). Concept creep and psychiatrization. Frontiers in Sociology, 6, 806147. 
Hudon, A., Perry, K., Plate, A. S., Doucet, A., Ducharme, L., Djona, O., Testart Aguirre, C., Evoy, G., Stip, E., & Abdel-Baki, A. (2025). Navigating the maze of social media disinformation on psychiatric illness and charting paths to reliable information for mental health professionals: Observational study of TikTok videos. Journal of Medical Internet Research, 27, e64225. 
Kirkpatrick, C. E., & Lawrie, L. L. (2024). TikTok as a source of health information and misinformation for young women in the United States: Survey study. JMIR Infodemiology, 4, e54663. 
McGrath, Melanie & Haslam, Nick. (2020). Development and validation of the Harm Concept Breadth Scale: Assessing individual differences in harm inflation. PLOS ONE. 15. e0237732. 10.1371/journal.pone.0237732. 
McCashin, D., Coyle, D., & Murphy, C. M. (2023). Using TikTok for public and youth mental health: A systematic review and content analysis. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 26, 279-306.
Omidbakhsh Z, Mohammadi Z, Soltanabadi S. Childhood Maltreatment and Complex PTSD: A Systematic Literature Review. Trauma Violence Abuse. 2025 May 18:15248380251320985. doi: 10.1177/15248380251320985. Epub ahead of print. PMID: 40383965.
Cai, D. (2023, June 26). Esther Perel Thinks All This amateur Therapy-Speak is Just Making Us Lonelier. Vanity Fair. Retrieved from https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2023/06/esther-perel-amateur-therapy-speak
Rameckers SA, van Emmerik AAP, Bachrach N, Lee CW, Morina N, Arntz A. The impact of childhood maltreatment on the severity of childhood-related posttraumatic stress disorder in adults. Child Abuse Negl. 2021 Oct;120:105208. doi: 10.1016/j.chiabu.2021.105208. Epub 2021 Jul 28. PMID: 34332332.
Spinazzola, J., Hodgdon, H., Liang, L. J., Ford, J. D., Layne, C. M., Pynoos, R., ... & Kisiel, C. (2014). Unseen wounds: The contribution of psychological maltreatment to child and adolescent mental health and risk outcomes. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 6(S1), S18-S28.
Turuba, R., Cormier, W., Zimmerman, R., Ow, N., Zenone, M., Quintana, Y., ... & Barbic, S. (2024). Exploring how youth use TikTok for mental health information in British Columbia: Semistructured interview study with youth. JMIR Infodemiology, 4, e53233.
Vylomova, E., Murphy, S., & Haslam, N. (2019). Evaluation of semantic change of harm-related concepts in psychology. In Proceedings of the 1st International Workshop on Computational Approaches to Historical Language Change (pp. 29-34). Association for Computational Linguistics.
Yeung, A., Ng, E., & Abi-Jaoude, E. (2022). TikTok and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: A cross-sectional study of social media content quality. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 67(12), 899-906. 

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Episode Transcript

Leslie Poston (00:12):
Welcome to PsyberSpace. I'm your host,
Leslie Poston. We're back to ournormal program after last week's
five part series on Entropy. Ihope you enjoyed it. This week,
we're talking about therapyspeak how it became mainstream,
why that's actually a goodthing, and how to spot when it's

(00:32):
being weaponized against you.
Let's start with what I mean bytherapy speak. It's
psychological and clinicallanguage showing up in everyday
conversation. Words likegaslighting, narcissist, trauma,
or anxious attachment orboundaries. You see it on social
media, hear it at dinnerparties, and even read it in

(00:55):
group text arguments. Thisdemocratization of psychological
knowledge has been genuinelyrevolutionary.
This expansion of clinicallanguage into everyday life has
helped millions of peoplefinally understand themselves.
Someone who spent decadesstruggling with focus issues or
being called lazy watches avideo about ADHD and thinks,

(01:17):
That's me! A woman told she'stoo sensitive learns about
rejection sensitivity dysphoria,and finally has a framework.
People who thought they weren'tsick enough for therapy
recognize themselves anddescriptions of complex PTSD or
developmental trauma and gethelp. This is progress.

(01:39):
Self diagnosis is valid andimportant. It's how many people
particularly women, people ofcolor, or anyone who didn't fit
into narrow diagnostic modelsfinally learn they can access
care. For people who can do sosafely, it can also help them
seek additional professionalevaluation and treatment. But

(02:01):
that same language is sometimesweaponized, used not to heal or
understand, but to control,manipulate, and avoid
accountability. Today, I'm goingto show you how to spot when
therapy speak is being twistedinto a weapon, in three key

areas (02:16):
your relationships, politics, and at work.
Let's talk about how we gothere, because understanding the
journey matters. Clinicalpsychological language used to
be confined to therapy rooms anddiagnostic manuals.
Professionals spent yearslearning what these terms mean

(02:38):
and when to apply them. But aspsychology evolved, so did our
understanding of mental health.This big shift started when
researchers like psychologistNick Haslam identified something
called concept creep in 2016.
That's the expansion ofpsychological concepts over
time. But not all concept creepis bad. Sometimes concepts

(03:00):
expand because we learn more. Westart listening to people we'd
ignored. Take trauma.
The original definition wasincredibly narrow only life
threatening events, combat, orserious accidents. That
definition excluded women withchronic childhood emotional
abuse, people who experiencedongoing neglect, or anyone whose

(03:22):
trauma didn't involve a singledramatic incident. The clinical
expansion to include complexPTSD, developmental trauma, or
attachment trauma, for example,recognizing both big T trauma
and little t trauma wasn'tdiagnostic drift, it was the
field catching up to whatsurvivors had been saying for

(03:43):
decades. Research shows thatconstant childhood criticism
creates the same traumaresponses in the nervous system
as surviving a car crash. Thebrain doesn't distinguish
between life threatening andsoul crushing.
Both create lasting changes inhow we process threat and
safety. This expansion hasallowed millions who didn't fit

(04:06):
the shell shocked soldier modelto finally access treatment and
be believed. And then came thedigital revolution. Social media
platforms like TikTok,Instagram, YouTube democratized
this knowledge in unprecedentedways. Suddenly, psychological
information that used to requireexpensive therapy or a graduate

(04:28):
education was available inthirty second to sixty second
videos.
Any teenager could learn aboutexecutive dysfunction. Any adult
could discover they've beenexperiencing dissociation for
years without knowing there wasa name for it. In short, this
has downsides. Studies show someof the content on TikTok isn't

(04:48):
scientifically accurate and canbe potentially damaging. But
that content has also connectedpeople to life changing
information and to community.
The self diagnosis boom, for allits complications, has helped
people who never would havesought evaluation otherwise
finally get proper diagnosis andtreatment. This is a revolution

worth protecting (05:09):
accessible psychological knowledge that
helps people understandthemselves and seek appropriate
care or accommodation so theycan live their fullest life. Be
clear about something. Selfdiagnosis is valid. In fact,
it's often the first step towardgetting proper clinical

(05:32):
evaluation for those who can doso safely.
Many people, especially thosefrom marginalized communities
who face barriers to healthcare,use self diagnosis as a jumping
off point. When someone watchescontent about ADHD and
recognizes their lifelongstruggle with executive
function, that's notpathologizing normal behavior

(05:53):
that's just connecting the dots.When a woman learns about
masking in autism, and sees herstruggles reflected in women who
post about being late diagnosedautistic online, she suddenly
understands why socialinteractions have always
exhausted her. That's a path toinsight, not delusion. Research

(06:14):
backs this up.
Studies show that increasedaccess to mental health
information correlates withincreased help seeking behavior.
People who self identifysymptoms are more likely to
pursue professional evaluation.The concern isn't that people
are learning about mentalhealth, it's what some people
are doing with that languageonce they have it. Ideally,

(06:36):
recognizing yourself in clinicaldescriptions should lead to
seeking solutions. Maybe that'stherapy, evaluation, treatment,
or just accommodation.
It should lead to takingresponsibility for managing your
condition and understanding itsimpact on others. Having
something like ADHD, forexample, explains why you

(06:56):
struggle with certain things. Adiagnosis doesn't give you a
permanent pass to hurt peoplewithout working on strategies to
mitigate that impact. Thedividing line is this: are you
using psychological language tounderstand yourself and grow? Or
are you using it as a shield toavoid accountability, or as a

(07:17):
way to manipulate?
That distinction mattersenormously. Now let's talk about
how to spot when therapy speakis being weaponized in your
personal relationships.Therapist Esther Perel has
written extensively about howlabeling enables us not to have
to deal with each other. This isthe core mechanism. Someone uses

(07:42):
clinical language to shut downconversation and avoid
accountability.
Here are some red flags to watchfor: One is diagnostic
deflection. You raise a concernabout your partner's behavior,
and they've been withdrawn,critical, and have broken
promises to you repeatedly.Instead of engaging with what

(08:03):
you said, they respond, you'reprojecting your abandonment
issues, or that's just youranxiety talking. They've just
shifted the entire conversationfrom their observable behaviour
to your psychology, and you'renow discussing those issues, not
the actual problem that wasraised. Another is
unidirectional awareness.

(08:24):
Notice whether psychologicalinsight is flowing in both
directions. Someone who isgenuinely doing therapeutic work
on themselves uses that languageto understand themselves and to
take responsibility. Someone whois weaponizing it is only using
it to explain why they can't beheld accountable and why you're
the problem. Do they ever turnthat awareness inward in ways

(08:48):
that lead to actual change? Oris that awareness always aimed
at you?
Also have the permanentdiagnosis card. That's I can't
help my anger, I have trauma. OrI'm too anxious to discuss this.
Or I dissociate when youcriticize me. These claims make
it impossible to ever addressproblems in a relationship.

(09:11):
While mental health conditionsare real and require
accommodation, they don'tabsolve someone of
responsibility for their impact.Is this person actually seeking
treatment and working onmanagement, or are they just
using diagnosis as a reason whyyou can never bring up a
concern? Lastly, have termtwisting. Watch for someone

(09:31):
using clinical terms in waysthat don't match their actual
meaning. You might see this ascalling every disagreement
gaslighting, labeling anyrequests for connection as
codependent, or describingnormal emotional responses as
toxic.
They're co opting seriousclinical concepts to frame your

(09:52):
reasonable needs as adysfunction. Research shows this
pattern, particularly with menwho've learned to use just
enough therapy speak toweaponize it against a partner,
but it's certainly notexclusively in that direction.
Using terms like enmeshed orpeople pleasing to frame any
request for emotional connectionor accountability as pathology,

(10:14):
or saying you're beingcodependent when asked to follow
through on plans, or that's youpeople pleasing when your
partner is upset that someonedoesn't show up, or work on your
anxious attachment when yourpartner wants more
communication. This is actualgaslighting, taking someone's
legitimate concern and reframingit as a symptom of their

(10:35):
psychological problems, whichmakes them question their
reality and ask whether theyhave a right to be upset. It
works especially well on peoplewho've done therapeutic work
because they know they haveissues and patterns.
So when someone throws thatlanguage back at them, part of
them thinks, Maybe they'reright. Maybe this is just my
trauma talking. So the key hereis asking, does this person use

(10:57):
therapy speak to takeresponsibility or to avoid it?
Therapy speak has enteredpolitical discourse in some
concerning ways. We're seeing itused to shut down debate,
dismiss dissent, and to claimmoral authority.
Here's what weaponized therapyspeak looks like in politics:

(11:18):
You might hear a trauma claim.Political opponents or policies
being described as traumatizingare triggering, not to describe
genuine psychological harm butto delegitimize the opposition.
When every politicaldisagreement is framed as
causing trauma, it becomesimpossible to have substantive
debate or to reach substantive,coherent conclusions. It

(11:42):
transforms political discourseinto a question of who's most
psychologically damaged by whoseexistence. We also have the
weaponization of boundaries.
Setting boundaries is atherapeutic concept about
protecting your own well-being.In politics, however, it's
increasingly used to mean Irefuse to engage with anyone who

(12:03):
disagrees with me, and anyonewho tries is violating my
boundaries. You see this a loton the left end of the spectrum,
often referred to as a puritytest. Actual boundary setting is
about your own behavior whatyou'll accept in your own space.
Weaponized boundary claims tryto control others' speech and
behavior and expression underthe guise of that self

(12:26):
protection.
We've done several episodes thatlook at solid research on
politicians that have variousdisorders, and on the tendency
of certain personality types andneurotypes to gravitate towards
politics and positions of power.We rely on solid research rather
than attaching a mental disorderto a specific politician we've

(12:47):
never met, because armchairdiagnosing political figures or
groups with personalitydisorders does two harmful
things. It stigmatizes actualmental health conditions by
associating them with villainy,and it replaces substantive
political critique withpsychological speculation. We
don't need to diagnose someonewith narcissistic personality

(13:09):
disorder to criticize theirauthoritarian tendencies. The
behaviour itself is the problem.
There's also the performance ofwellness. Politicians and
political figures performingpsychological awareness as proof
of moral superiority. Talkingextensively about their therapy,
their trauma work, or theirhealing journey, not because

(13:31):
it's relevant to policy, butbecause it signals they're
evolved and safe. This turnsmental health into political
currency rather than actualhealth management. Research on
this is still emerging, butwe're seeing patterns where
therapy language gets used tocreate in groups and out groups
based on who has the rightpsychological framework.

(13:51):
Again, it becomes a purity test,rather than a tool for
understanding. Watch for thesepatterns. Is therapy speak being
used to engage with ideas or toavoid engaging? Is it being used
to understand differentperspectives, or to delegitimize
them entirely? Is it opening upconversation or shutting it

(14:12):
down?
The workplace is where therapyspeak weaponization gets
particularly tricky becausepower dynamics are already at
play, and your livelihoodsdepend on your work. Here's what

to watch for (14:24):
Something I like to call the HR shield someone
who is repeatedly using therapylanguage to avoid accountability
for poor performance orproblematic behaviour. Saying I
can't meet any deadlines becauseof my ADHD without having a
discussion to seek accommodationthrough proper channels or

(14:47):
working on strategies with theirteam or their boss. Saying any
feedback triggers my trauma,which means they can never
receive performance reviews.Mental health conditions are
real and legally requireaccommodation, as they should.
Accommodation also means findingways to meet a job's
requirements, not an exemptionfrom all expectations. There is

(15:11):
also toxic label inflation.Everything becomes toxic. A
demanding manager with highstandards? Toxic.
A coworker who disagrees withyou? Toxic. A workplace that has
any conflict? Toxic. Thisdilutes the term toxic until
actual toxic workplaces getlumped in with places that just

(15:34):
have everyday professionalfriction trying to get a job
done together as a team.
You also have more boundarymanipulation. You're starting to
see a pattern with this. Forthis one, a manager or colleague
might claim boundaries to avoidnormal professional
responsibilities, such as it'snot my job to manage emotions
when providing basic feedback isliterally their job. Or that

(15:58):
crosses my boundaries when askedto collaborate or compromise.
Real workplace boundaries areimportant, such as not answering
emails outside of work hours ornot tolerating harassment.
Weaponized boundaries try toreshape job responsibilities
around personal preference. Thenthere is perhaps one of the more
ubiquitous ones, and that's theculture trap of wellness.

(16:21):
Companies performing mentalhealth awareness while creating
conditions that harm your mentalhealth, such as offering a
meditation app while maintainingimpossible workloads and crazy
hours, that's weaponization.Therapy speak becomes
performative. Everyone is usingthe right language, but nothing

(16:41):
changes structurally.
Or worse, employees who actuallyneed accommodations are told to
practice more self care insteadof receiving more genuine
support. Studies of workplacepsychology show us that when
clinical language replacesdirect communication, it
actually decreases problemsolving. Instead of this report

(17:02):
was late and incomplete, we get,I feel like this situation is
triggering my anxiety aroundyour reliability. The focus is
shifting from the concrete issueto emotional management. So the
key question in workplacecontext: Is therapy speak being
used to facilitate betterworking relationships and
genuine accommodation, Or is itbeing used to avoid

(17:25):
responsibility, shut downfeedback, and create special
rules for certain people?
Here's the framework forspotting weaponized therapy
speak across all contexts.First, do a directionality test.
Ask yourself, does this personuse psychological awareness to
take responsibility for theirimpact, or only to explain why

(17:49):
they can't be held responsible?Genuine therapeutic language is
bidirectional. It's helpingpeople understand their own
patterns and change.
Weaponized language only flowsoutward toward others. Do a
change test. Does using thislanguage lead to actual
behavioural change, seekingtreatment or problem solving? Or

(18:12):
does it just become a permanentexplanation for why things must
stay as they are? Someonegenuinely working on their
anxious attachment, for example,might seek therapy and have
strategies to work with it,whereas someone weaponizing it
is just using it as a reason whyyou must accommodate them
indefinitely.
Do a conversation test. Doestherapy speak open up dialogue

(18:36):
or shut it down? Realpsychological awareness makes it
possible to discuss difficultthings with more nuance.
Weaponized therapy beginsconversations. You're diagnosed,
you're labelled, and you'redismissed.
Lastly, do a context test. Isthe clinical language
appropriate to the situation? Isit leading towards solutions?

(18:59):
Someone recognizing their ADHDand working with their employer
on accommodation strategies?That's appropriate use.
Someone claiming every deadlineis traumatizing them without
seeking any treatment orstrategies? That's
weaponization. The expansion ofpsychological language into
everyday life has been genuinelypositive. It's helped millions

(19:20):
of people understand themselvesbetter and access care. Self
diagnosis, when it leads toseeking proper support, whether
that's professional or just inyour family and friends and work
environment, is valid andimportant.
But we need to get much betterat recognizing when that same
language is being twisted from atool of healing into a tool of

(19:41):
control. Watch for the patterns.Notice when therapy speak is
being used to avoid rather thanembrace accountability. Stay
grounded in observable behaviourwhat someone actually does, not
just the labels they assign. Andremember, someone who is
genuinely psychologically awaredoesn't weaponize that
awareness.
They're using it to grow,change, and take responsibility

(20:02):
for their impact on others.Thanks for listening to
PsyberSpace. This is your host,Leslie Poston, signing off. As
always, until next time, staycurious. And don't forget to
subscribe so you never miss aweek, and send this episode to a
friend if you think it will helpthem.