July 26, 2024 • 38 mins
Breastfeeding offers an astonishing array of health benefits, but why does it often come with emotional and physical hurdles? Join us as we unpack the dualities of breastfeeding, from immunity boosts for your baby to the psychological tolls on moms. We're here to challenge the societal expectation of exclusive breastfeeding for four months, showing that maternal mental health is just as crucial. Through candid personal stories, we reveal how struggles like low milk production can lead to feelings of guilt and worthlessness, and why the mantra "fed is best" holds value.
Imagine feeling isolated and overwhelmed, juggling the demands of a newborn while facing unrealistic body image expectations. We explore these tough realities, sharing firsthand experiences with latch issues, pain, and low milk supply. Whether it's direct breastfeeding or exclusive pumping, the journey is far from straightforward. Learn how managing expectations can alleviate stress, and why an honest conversation is needed about the imbalance of responsibilities that new mothers often encounter.
Curious about how societal norms have shifted over the decades? Geri shares her experiences from the late '80s and early '90s when formula feeding became more mainstream due to career demands. From public breastfeeding to weaning off bottles and pacifiers, Geri's insights underline the significance of a non-judgmental approach to parenting. Closing with a heated exchange between healthcare providers about prioritizing patient safety over breastfeeding, we emphasize the importance of respecting patient choices. Don’t miss this enlightening and supportive dialogue on maternal health and the complexities of feeding choices.
Disclaimer: This podcast represents the opinions of Dr. Bridget Melton, MD and licensed therapist Marissa Volinsky, MS, LPC, NCC. The contents of our podcast and website should not be taken as medical advice. The contents of our podcast and website are for general informational purposes only, and are not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any condition or disease or substitute for medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental health professional, or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before starting or discontinuing treatment.
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a crisis, please reach out immediately to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741. These services are free and confidential.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Bridget (00:06):
Hello and welcome to episode four of the second
season of our podcast.
I can't say the name in thebeginning because YouTube will
edit us out.
Today we're talking aboutboobies, so if you've ever heard
the term breast is best andthought to yourself is it really
?
Then this episode is for you.
Whether you want to roll youreyes at the notion or you're a
(00:27):
worshiper at the altar of liquidgold, this episode has
something for everyone,including tough love with chair
bear, everybody's favoritesegment yes, welcome back
everyone.
We're so glad to have you allwith us, so excited for this
episode sorry we had to miss outlast week.
we just absolutely could not doit.
I was away for my cringe 30thbirthday.
So, yeah, we were driving backfrom a mini vacation baby moon
(00:49):
birthday, you know all that.
So I'm 30 now and you can allmourn my youth, Thank you.
You literally look the same.
Well, we'll see once this babycomes.
Okay, so let's dive in.
Let's talk about the healthbenefits of breast milk so it
meets all of baby's nutritionalneeds.
For quote, unquote free.
Of course it doesn't accountfor the time demands placed on
(01:11):
mom.
So if mom could be working butshe's being a cow on demand,
then it's not technically free,but it is free in the sense that
you're not buying formula.
It contains IgA, which is animmunoglobulin passed through
mucousous membranes, so it cango from mom to baby and it
provides some immunity andprotection for baby.
It also fosters a bond betweenmom and baby.
(01:31):
It can help reduce risk ofdiarrhea and vomiting, reduce
risk of SIDS, which is suddeninfant death syndrome, obesity
and cardiovascular disease inadulthood.
So there are some really greatbenefits of breast milk.
To gain the potential benefits,such as reduced childhood
obesity, infections and reducedallergies, baby needs to be
exclusively breastfed for atleast four months.
(01:53):
I cannot stress that enough.
So if you cave literally onceand give formula, the spell is
broken and you may as well notput so much pressure on yourself
anymore.
Just do what makes you feel themost comfortable.
So that whole like reduction inobesity, reduction in allergies
thing there's a lot of evidencebehind this.
You have to do, for four months, every single day, breast milk
only.
You cannot break it one time,otherwise you don't get those
(02:15):
allergen benefits.
So it's like you may as welljust make your life easy.
Breastfeeding also has somehealth benefits for mom, though,
like lowering your risk ofbreast cancer, ovarian cancer,
osteoporosis, cardiovasculardisease and obesity.
In terms of obesity,breastfeeding requires a lot of
healthy caloric intake andadequate hydration, so it's
normal to feel insatiable ifyou're actively breastfeeding.
(02:38):
A lot of new moms say thatthey're just like I'm not
gaining weight, but I'm alsolike eating a ton.
I just cannot stop eating.
If you're breastfeeding, you'reburning tons of calories.
Some women do report anincreased appetite paired with
weight loss, where others reportincreased appetite and an
inability to lose those last 10to 15 pounds.
So everybody's different andboth presentations are normal.
(02:58):
So some people will store alittle bit of excess fat in
order to produce enough breastmilk.
So your body's purposefullyholding onto that last layer of
fat because it knows you need it, and this can be really
difficult for some women who areused to living in a smaller
body.
And if breastfeeding is causingyou psychological distress,
depression, negative thoughtsabout yourself, then it's not
(03:18):
worth it.
It's simply not worth it.
You cannot be the best parentand the best person for your
loved ones if you're silentlybattling poor self-esteem.
So it is absolutely not worththe mental anguish and forcing
yourself to breastfeed if youcan't show up and be the best
version of yourself for you andbaby.
So if that's the case, justtake the stress off and if
formula is an option for you andyour baby, try it.
(03:41):
I'm not saying you have to.
I'm just saying, if you'reliving life every day grilling
yourself, saying why can't I dothis?
Why does it look so easy foreveryone else?
Try formula one or two times.
If it jives with you and baby,just supplement with formula.
Okay, because fed is best.
Absolutely so.
It's important to remember.
Like Bridget said, fed is best.
(04:01):
That's definitely the best.
So for me personally, with myfirst son, jack, I breastfed him
for five and a half six months.
I did not produce enough andthat is something that I feel
like is not really talked aboutin society.
Like it is once you've givenbirth and you know the nurses
and the lactation consultantcomes in, that's all you hear
about is worrying about that andlatching.
But before that I didn't evenknow that was a thing and I was
(04:24):
not prepared for it mentally atall.
Honestly, feelings ofworthlessness came over me, like
how can I not feed my own child?
Like this is my one job in life.
Like why am I not good at it?
Like why is every?
Because I would?
I would try everything,everything that they told me or
even I googled.
I tried, bridget, you even gaveme those special cookies that
had like oatmeal in them andstuff.
It kind of bumped the milk alittle bit, but not enough for
(04:46):
me to fully just remain onbreast milk for him.
So with Jack I had to do both.
I did have to supplementformula, which gave me internal
feelings of shame and guilt,worthlessness, feeling like
because before I ever had kidsin my mind, I had figured I was
going to just do breast milk.
If I could do that, why not?
Not only would it save me money, but it would make me feel so
(05:07):
great about myself, because itwas a goal of mine to just have
them on breast milk only.
And so when I failed that goal,my first goal as a mother, it
was really really bad for mementally.
And other people go through thatas well, and that's why it's
really important to talk aboutthis stuff.
It is something that isactually more common than I
thought, because other peoplethat were also giving birth
maybe a year or two after mecolleagues of mine with their
(05:29):
first child as well, they hadissues with breast milk supply.
It happens, you know, and it'sjust something that really no
one prepares you for until ithappens to yourself.
And then you have to deal withwatching other mothers who just
have an abundance or anoverabundance of milk and it's
really frustrating, to be honest.
So physical demands obviouslyhuge on the mother.
With my second child I swearit's just life just keeps
(05:52):
getting me.
But my second child I hadoverproduction of milk, which
was great, right, except redflag.
My daughter was allergic to mybreast milk.
So the whole time that Ithought she was just colic,
because she was a colicky babyborn that way, incorrect I was
literally giving her really badacid reflux from the milk
because she couldn't have it.
So then I overproduced for noreason, because then I had to go
to formula because it was theonly thing that made her a
(06:14):
normal, happy baby that couldsleep and nap without being
fussy.
So yeah, you know life neverworks out in your favor.
So just be prepared for thatwhen you're a mom and that is
why fed is best right, becauseyou can't prepare for any of
that.
And it's never the mother'sfault, never the baby's fault.
You just you have to overcome,adapt, you know.
Shift, that's all that's.
That's how we go through lifeand that's how we make it
(06:35):
through.
So let's go through some of themental health aspects of
breastfeeding on the mother.
So, like I just mentioned, evenin my own personal story,
physical demands.
It's very physically demanding,especially in the early stages
when the babies feed frequentlyand you're getting your milk
supply in.
So this can lead to exhaustionand affects your mental
wellbeing.
That can lead into theemotional impact.
Hormonal changes alone duringbreastfeeding can affect mood
(06:58):
and some mothers experience asurge in oxytocin, which is the
bonding hormone which canenhance feelings of closeness
and well-being.
So sometimes it could be a goodemotional impact.
However, fusions and hormonescould also contribute to mood
swings, feelings of anxiety,depression in some women.
So all of this just to keep inmind Pressure and guilt.
There's often societal pressureon mothers to breastfeed
exclusively for certain periodsof time and this will contribute
(07:21):
to feelings of guilt orinadequacy, as I mentioned, I
felt, if you know breastfeedingdoes not go as planned or there
are certain difficulties thatyou do not prepare for.
Isolation Breastfeeding cansometimes be very isolating,
especially if the mother feelsshe must always be available to
feed her baby.
This can lead to feelings ofloneliness or being overwhelmed.
It can even lead to feelings ofresentment because if you are,
(07:42):
you know directly, exclusivelybreastfeeding from the breast
and you're feeling like yourpartner is getting off easy,
pretty much right, like you'realways doing the feedings,
you're always getting up andhe's just doing this or that and
, although it's helpful, youfeel like you're doing the bulk
of the work.
So with the hormones and themood swings, it's easy.
It's easy to build resentment,understandable, especially with
a lack of sleep.
(08:03):
Bridget did mention and touch onthis but body image.
So you're going to experiencechanges in your body and how you
see your body and feel in yourbody and that is due to
breastfeeding and this impactsyour self-esteem and your mental
health.
Overall.
I will say, given time, like ayear, sometimes even 18 months
out, your body should feelnormal, even if you're still up
on the scale in weight.
(08:24):
Your body just feels more.
You is the best way I candescribe it, and for anyone
who's hard on themselves, rightafter giving birth, the best
advice I ever got was it tooknine months to grow that big.
So be easy on yourself, becauseyou know mothers are really,
with everything society today,saying bounce back.
Oh, you're 30 days out.
Why don't you look like you're,you know, smaller?
(08:45):
No, it took you nine months togrow and really 10 months
because it's a nine full months.
You need that, plus plus some,to feel like yourself again,
like why is it okay to expectthat we grow slowly but we got
to bounce back like a rubberband?
No, it's just not.
That does not make sense andit's not reality.
So we also have challenges andfrustrations to breastfeeding
Lash difficulties, pain, lowmilk supply.
(09:07):
This is extremely frustratingand emotionally taxing.
So just all things to thinkabout when you're going on this
journey into motherhood.
Marissa (09:14):
Yeah, a lot of people are being like I'm just over 33
weeks now.
So people are like, oh, whatare you going to do?
And I'm like I always thought Iwould pump.
I would try to pump, justbecause at least I'm doing
something.
I don't know.
I figured, hey, I'll give it ago, maybe if I have the milk
anyway, it's something to do.
But I would never, was like Ineed to put pressure on myself
(09:34):
to exclusively breastfeed, likeI just I'm not that bothered
about it, but I'm willing to try.
Last week and I've said this somany times because if you pump,
then at least you can likefreeze the milk, refrigerate it.
Your partner can get up in thenight and help you feed, because
all you have to do is reheatthe breast milk.
So it's not exclusively on you.
I've said it to everybody.
And Ted last week was like oh,but you don't want to like nurse
(09:56):
at all directly.
And I was like I mean notreally.
And he was like but it wouldreally mean a lot to me, like
because I think it will help youguys bond more.
And I'm thinking I'm gonna be onmat leave like this baby and I
are gonna be like white on rice,like I don't think I need any
more any more bonding time withthis leech.
But you know, like, if that'swhat you want me to do, I was
like for you, if you really, ifit means so much, like I'll give
(10:20):
it a go.
I was like I'm not going tolike stress myself out if it
doesn't work and I'm just notgood at it.
Also, like I know you guyshaven't seen me like we're not
on video or anything yet I don'thave very big boobs, so, which
means I have pretty smallnipples.
Like I do not foresee myselfbeing some like expert
breastfeeder, so I don't know,you know, I'm just like I'm not
(10:43):
putting any pressure, like if itgoes, it goes, but I planned
like mostly pump, you know.
Bridget (10:49):
Yeah, but yeah I will say cause I did the exclusively
pump route when I was trying todo breast milk.
It's actually harder.
In my experience and the othersI've talked to who did what I
did, it's actually I thinkbreastfeeding directly from the
breast is easier a little bitand I don't want to offend
anyone, but I mean easier in asense that you can just pick the
baby up, you know, in the midwee hours, and attach when with
(11:12):
pumping it's just like I wasattached to this machine on a
certain level for a certainamount of time and you know
people were over there and I wasisolated, isolation.
Here we go in a corner and itwas like I can give you the PTSD
sound, right, here we go in acorner and it was like I can, I
can give you the ptsd sound,right, and I was like milking a
cow every two to three hours.
I was.
I felt like a production, amilk production facility.
Marissa (11:35):
I really I remember that sound still, because every
time we'd be having aconversation you'd you'd be
hooked up to the pump andhonestly, kimmy.
Bridget (11:44):
So Kimmy did both, but even she said because she did
more on the breast than I did, Ilike I said I just did
exclusive pump and she was likeit's just so much easier.
Marissa, you know like I'mexhausted.
I'd rather just get up, putthem on my breast and I'm like
you're right, honestly, you'reright and it's a me issue,
because that's what I didn't doit for my own personal reasons,
but I was, was like it's just Ican't, but the machine is awful.
(12:06):
She's right, it's got awful.
Marissa (12:08):
Yeah, oh, I mean I, I'm not like gonna go in with any
expectation either way.
I think that sets yourself upfor failure.
Like I don't want to do one orthe other, I'm happy, like if I
have a baby that has more fooddemands than I can supply and
you know Jerry's going to belike just give him the formula.
Fine, honestly, like just makethe baby go to bed.
Bridget (12:30):
I was using the pump and Nicole, hey, nicole, bill
Benny shout out when she wouldvisit me.
She would like to have thislook of horror, like when you
watch a scary movie andsomeone's getting murdered and
cut up into pieces.
I'd be like why are you staringat my tits and why do you look
so horrified?
And she goes the fact that it'staking your nipple and
(12:51):
stretching it so far.
She's like it's scaring me.
She was like are you trying totell me that my nipples are
going to be stretched in thatmachine?
I'm like I mean, if you do themachine, yeah, like, yeah.
Marissa (13:00):
That was really hard to get used to, like watching you.
I'm sorry, but it's true.
Like they pull them out like afull inch.
Bridget (13:12):
It was painful, and each with each kid too, you have
to, like build the calluses upon the breast part.
I mean, honestly, I've neverasked any other mothers about
this, so maybe I was using thewrong size or whatever, but for
each time I'd have to build up acallus, and so the first two to
three weeks of back on themachine my nipples would get
bloody and like the tips wouldfall off and then it would come
(13:32):
back and I'd be fine.
But and I was using thelinoleum and everything I was
properly cleaning the machine,making sure I was moisturized
and I was like, why do my titsalways bleed like I hate this it
was very good, yeah, that thatdoes happen though.
Marissa (13:47):
Yeah, and that that's one of the things that, like
women, they get discouraged by,and they're like you know what.
It's not worth it.
It really hurts.
It's uncomfortable for me.
I will say, though, that thatis even if you no matter how you
breastfeed, pump or nursedirectly part of breastfeeding
is like your nipples crackingand bleeding like that.
Even if you're the bestbreastfeeder, your baby takes
day one.
(14:07):
You're making tons of milk,everything's going amazing.
You're bonding, you're like I'mso happy.
The first couple of weeks your,your boobs are bleeding.
That is just part of it.
I don't know why.
Bridget (14:16):
And they're super sensitive and your milk
production, if it comes inyou're, they're swollen and what
was weird, which I don't knowwhy, but I did kind of find it
fun and relieving.
But I I would enjoy waking up,since I didn't do it through the
night.
It would be like concrete, likeas if I got like quadruple d's
overnight from dr miami and theywould be solid concrete.
And then it felt so good torelieve it because your first
(14:39):
pump your boobs got were squishyagain and I don't know why, but
that to me, that feeling isstill fun.
I don't know why.
That sounds very nice.
Oh, it felt amazing.
But before the first pump youwere like oh my god, I can't get
out of bed.
There's concrete cement blockson my chest.
Marissa (14:52):
I'm nervous about this, oh my gosh.
So when Marissa just had Jack,we went to Philadelphia to visit
our Aunt Irene and we had likea girl's lunch, like we were all
drinking.
We were like drunk at noon.
We had like a great time andmarissa was like didn't bring
her pump.
Like she's like I'm not doingthat crap today.
And by the time we got backhome to our parents in jersey,
like she stopped at our parentsand we were in our like
(15:15):
childhood bathroom and I had tohand express milk out because
her boobs were so swollen andengorged and she's like I need
and she was just like bent overa sink and I was like hand
expressing.
It was just shooting out.
And then this is soembarrassing Like our dad was
walking down the hallway andhe's like what's going on in
(15:36):
there and we're like get out.
Bridget (15:40):
That was one for the sister books.
Yeah, oh my God, that is sofunny.
Oh my god, that was before.
So with my second with evelyn,I had the willow, uh, cordless.
They could take anywhere, butat that time I didn't.
I had the one from the wall.
You had to be plugged out to anoutlet, so I just didn't take
it and I knew I was drinkinganyway.
So I was like it's all bad milkat this point I'm out of here,
man.
Marissa (16:00):
Oh, I love that now that you brought that up.
Bridget (16:03):
Let's talk about that, that fun time.
Actually it was a Wednesdayafternoon, right?
What did the waiter say?
Marissa (16:09):
Wednesday afternoon we were absolutely sloshed at lunch
, obviously Marissa, because shewas like breastfeeding and
everything.
It was like two glasses of wineand she was drunk and the
waiter brought the bill and hewas just like, okay, lady,
should we just run it back?
Like just do it all again?
Bridget (16:24):
and we were like, yeah , oh my goodness, I think he
even asked us that.
Right, he was like ladies,ladies, it's a Wednesday
afternoon, what's going on?
And you were like she's onmaternity leave.
Marissa (16:36):
She needs to have fun.
Oh, that was such a good lunch.
She was right on RittenhouseSquare.
Guys recommend it.
Park Rittenhouse Square.
So this topic reminds me.
I just saw I don't know ifanyone else has seen this and
it's probably an old clipbecause it was from, like the
ellen show.
Ali wong, hilarious comedianand mother, she at the time was
(16:56):
on the ellen show, so it's likeat least a year old or so, and
she was talking about how shehad a three-month-old.
She looks incredible and had atwo-year-old at the time.
She was saying that thetwo-year-old was getting a bit
jealous, as babies do.
They get a bit jealous whenthere's a new baby in town.
And she started saying likemama, I want to feed from the
breast.
And then she's like tellingEllen the sheer fact that you
(17:18):
could say that sentence excludesyou from being able to
breastfeed also, your full setof teeth.
Bridget (17:26):
I remember that interview and I love her.
She's my favorite, so I watchalmost everything that you know
she puts out or does so.
But yeah, that was a good one,so funny.
Marissa (17:33):
But yeah, I just figured I'd mention her in there
because she's such a great likecomedian for moms and like mom
guilt and everything oh yes,absolutely.
Bridget (17:42):
She's just so funny if you watch any of her things on
netflix hilarious, all good formaternity leave if you need a
good dopamine boost.
Marissa (17:48):
I know, but she kind of like makes you scared, like the
first special I ever saw, whenshe just had her first child and
she was like maternity leave,honestly, like things are
dripping, things are bleeding,like your boobs are hanging, and
then your friends come over andyou're just like, don't look at
me.
Bridget (18:04):
I was like, oh my god, this sounds terrible my
favorite is when she's talkingabout that dainty friend she had
.
But then she opens the door tothe cul-de-sac and she's like
look at this shit.
Marissa (18:12):
Look what this kid did to me look at this shit look at
it like and she's had twoc-sections and like there it's
major surgery.
Bridget (18:22):
And then people are just like okay, go look after a
baby I don't know how peoplelike single moms do it, because
for the two weeks I reallycouldn't get up without the baby
being handed to me by John and,honestly, sometimes I was just
so mentally exhausted.
I remember when I texted youwith Evelyn I had the low grade
fever.
When I first got home I hadchills, so I was in no shape to.
(18:42):
I was like I felt the sick sohe'd had to do it all.
Marissa (18:45):
Honestly, yeah, I mean, it is tough, like you really
need a partner who whether it'syour sister, mom, brother,
literally anyone in your familyor your spouse you really need
someone there.
When you've had a C-section,nobody realizes that the
recovery is so much slower, umcause, we just tear through your
insides.
Bridget (19:03):
Oh yeah, oh, trust me, I know I felt it.
The healing, the recovery wasjust very hard and weirdly I
thought in my mind like a sicko,it was probably me just being
like oh, it's okay, have anotherkid.
I thought like in my mind itworked like a vaginal birth,
like, oh, you know, you've donethis before, bounce back.
No, marissa, you're stillcutting through seven layers
(19:25):
each time.
You stupid fool.
So, in my mind.
I thought going in with Evelynwas like I've cut through these
seven layers before I'm going tohop up.
Yeah, no, no, no.
In fact, I felt like it wasworse because my skin was like
bitch.
You already did this two yearsago.
Are you trying to die Like?
What are you doing?
Marissa (19:41):
Yeah, and they get more complex.
Like the more C-sections youhave in a row, they get very,
very complex because of scartissue, so it can be much more
painful.
You know, the first one's likea nice freebie, a freebie.
Bridget (19:55):
Nice.
Marissa (19:55):
Yeah, I got my punch card.
Bridget (19:57):
How many?
How many can I get?
Yeah?
Marissa (20:05):
Anyway, moving on.
So I don't want it to soundlike we're anti-breastfeeding,
because we're definitely not.
Obviously Marissa did it twice,it's just.
I just want to make light of itso people understand like it's
not like an end-all be-all, likeyou can combi feed and your
baby will be fine.
Bridget (20:19):
Yeah, no, yeah, I just think I, for me personally, I
wish there was more people whotalked about it and was more
real and honest.
You know I'm sick of hearingthe whole oh, it's going to be
so magical, it's going to be thebest bonding experience of your
life.
Now, I'm not saying thatdoesn't happen for some people
Probably.
It just didn't happen to meDoesn't mean I don't look back
(20:40):
at my maternity leaves and thinkblissfully how amazing it was.
Now that I'm out of the thickof it and I forget all the hard
times, I still I'm so grateful,would do it again because I'm
insane, but it's just thereality of it.
For me it was kind of a shitshow.
I'm not going to lie, it was ashit show.
Marissa (20:55):
Yeah, it's very time consuming and, uh, I don't know.
It's one of those things whereI I just I hate bringing it up
with people, because people justgive you that look and they're
like breast and sins and you'relike, okay, I don't know.
So I just try to like not evenmention it.
Bridget (21:13):
I really don't like when they say that, because it
really makes the people whodon't produce enough feel like
something's wrong with them andit's just not fair because you
don't have control over that.
You know it's not like if I hadchanged my eating habits or
anything, and I don't smoke.
I don't have control over that.
You know.
It's not like if I had changedmy eating habits or anything,
and I don't smoke, I don't dodrugs, so it's none of those
things.
Either I wasn't sick oranything, or and just think,
(21:33):
like what if a mother years agohad hers removed for breast
cancer and she's completely inthe clear now having kids, how
are you going to sit there andsay breast milk is best for her?
She's clearly not like.
You know what I mean.
She's obviously going to useformula.
Her breasts are gone.
Marissa (21:47):
What about adoptive?
Bridget (21:48):
parents.
There's that too, yep, and Ijust think, as long as you're
feeding the kid and you'retaking it to the appointments
and they're, you know, lookinggreat, you know they're growing
the way they should, then that'sokay.
Marissa (22:01):
Exactly.
Yeah, I completely agree, right, so this is a little thing that
a lot of people don't know isyour breast milk changes as baby
ages.
So the first few drops you makeare called colostrum and it's
often referred to as liquid gold.
And even though it looks like ateeny, tiny amount literally
tiny little drops that appear atyour nipples, it's all a
newborn needs, because theirbelly is super, super tiny when
(22:23):
they're born.
So as baby grows, you adapt andyou do produce more breast milk
and the fat levels change, theglucose level change, the
protein it all adjusts to baby'sneeds.
The milk you produce during thefirst year of life is completely
different than the milk youcould produce in the second year
of baby's life if you continueto continue breastfeeding.
However, if you choose tobreastfeed beyond one year, you
(22:46):
have to make sure you're alsofeeding baby solid food.
Okay, you can't exclusivelybreastfeed for like two years.
This is to develop their teethand their jaw.
Mastication is really important.
If you allow your child todrink all of their meals, they
will have a weak jaw, they'll belazy and they'll be picky
eaters.
Also, they'll develop somethingcalled milk anemia.
Pediatricians see it all thetime.
(23:07):
Babies love milk becausethey're used to it, so they fill
up on it and they eat thatinstead of lunch and dinner and
you go.
Well, my baby's growing andthey're happy, yeah, but they're
not getting iron so all of asudden they'll be really pale
and tired.
So milk anemia is like supercommon because parents are just
like well, he likes milk, hefills up on it.
They have to eat real food aswell.
All parents will tell you howfrustrating it is when you first
introduce foods like chickenMarissa, I'm sure you remember
(23:31):
this.
Kids take forever to eat it.
They say they don't like it.
They complain a ton.
It's because chewing meat takesa long time and they get bored.
It's not that they don'tactually like it, they just
they're.
They're lazy eaters becausethey're new to it.
So it's it's really importantto introduce these solids.
They develop a palate, theydevelop jaw strength and
patience and their teeth getstronger and are used to tearing
(23:53):
away at things like meat orharder vegetables.
So it's really important.
You have to introduce solids.
Even if you say I want tobreastfeed for many years, I
love the feeling my kid will befour years still breastfeeding.
Bridget (24:05):
Fine, they have to eat solid food feeling my kid will
be four years, stillbreastfeeding.
Fine, they have to eat solidfood.
Yep, yep, and don't be hard onyourself if you do all the
recommended and your kid isstill a picky eater, because
that is what happened to me withboth kids and you know, oh, for
two here and what I can say isit gets better.
So my first is now he justturned five, july 4th and he is
actually now my best eater, whenoriginally he was my worst.
(24:26):
So it just got to a point whereI would say around three and a
half four, we just startedsaying like, nope, now you eat
with mommy and daddy makes wedon't make you something special
and you will try a differentveggie with us, you know.
And now he's my best eater atfive.
Um, and now we're working onthe other one.
She's about there becauseshe'll be three in October and
that's where where we're goingto kind of be like no, no, no,
(24:46):
you now eat what we eat, wherewe had given you leniency for
all these years, but no more.
Marissa (24:51):
Yeah, it's.
It's hard because obviously ata certain point you just want
them to eat anything.
You just don't care.
Remember when Jack would onlyeat the peanut butter sandwiches
and it was like fine kid, aslong as you're eating, because
they're just so tiring, agreedhonestly, due to the opposites
of their personalities.
Bridget (25:09):
I feel like jack was really easy on the.
You know the transition.
I do um believe that evelynwill not make it so easy on us.
I think it will be a battle, alot of eye rolling, a lot of
screaming, crying, but it's justlike you know, I can't continue
to give in.
I don't want to have a 21 yearold only eating peanut butter
sandwiches, bananas I thinkthat's honestly maybe some
(25:29):
chicken nuggets here and there.
She doesn't eat a lot.
Oh, she eats yogurts.
I'll give her.
I'll give her that she's goodwith yogurts and her little
coconut milk yogurts.
Marissa (25:37):
Oh, I'm surprised because when she was a little
little baby, she was a goodeater she flipped they.
Bridget (25:42):
Well, it was weird because he was a picky eater,
now he's's good and she was agood eater and now she's so
picky, unbelievably picky itgives me a headache.
Marissa (25:49):
But I just you know.
Bridget (25:50):
I just go through it, gotta brave through it, but
she's a little bit sassy now,you know, as a practically
three-year-old.
The problem with her is myfirst was a people pleaser, so
if I ask him to do something,even if I have to say it more
than once, he will do it.
And because he says, because Ilove you, mommy, okay, that's
(26:10):
great.
Love you too, hon.
This one tells me no, and if Itry to like come back at her,
she'll roll her eyes and like doa smirk.
You ever see those, you everget in a fight with someone and
you're so angry, but they'resmiling.
That's my daughter and I'm likesmile one more time, girlfriend
.
Hey, sir to god.
So yeah, it's fun time.
Marissa (26:31):
I can't wait to witness this.
I am flying home two weeks fromtoday and I can't wait oh, it's
fun, it's a fun time.
Bridget (26:38):
Yeah, I tell her to go to time out.
She willingly goes.
Now she has fun in time out.
So now I'm like great, now whatdo I do?
Because she loves time out, shethinks it's a vacation, a spa
vacation apparently.
Marissa (26:49):
She's like finally time to myself.
Bridget (26:51):
losers, honestly like I'll tell her in my mom voice
and she'll go.
Okay, and if y'all haven't seenme, obviously since there's no
camera, I just flipped my hair,she walks right to the timeout.
Marissa (27:01):
Chair Evelyn, you, cutie, you think it's cute until
it's your daughter.
Bridget (27:04):
Evelyn, you cutie.
Yeah, you think it's cute untilit's your daughter.
Marissa (27:06):
All right, everybody, let's get into it.
Everyone's favorite segment istough love with GerBear.
Yeah, Gerbear, I have thepleasure of seeing GerBear in
person at the end of this week.
I will see her.
Oh, when this episode drops,Geri will be in England with me.
Bridget (27:30):
Yes.
So on that note, before westart tough love with Ger Bear,
I want to say next week is a bigweek for my sister.
She's having her English babyshower, so therefore we will be
skipping an episode, but you'llstill get content.
What we will be doing is I'mgoing to have someone over there
, while she's there, little bitsand pieces of her English baby
shower, and I will kind of putall that together with music and
(27:51):
put it on our socials andyou'll be able to see that.
Marissa (27:54):
We will leave you with a question how do you guys feel
about breastfeeding?
Were you breastfed?
Did you breastfeed?
Is it something you feelstrongly about?
And please write back to usabout it and we'll talk about it
in the next episode we recordAbsolutely.
Bridget (28:07):
All right, so let's get into this.
Marissa (28:08):
Let's do it.
So we asked Geri her opinionsabout breastfeeding and we can't
wait to share her answers withyou guys.
So firstly I'll say none of uswere breastfed.
I think she attempted a fewdays at Marissa, she said, but
then she had to go back toetiesand they just did not allow for
freedom of movement like pumpsdo nowadays, and she was a young
(28:29):
business owner at that time.
So she literally never therewas no mat leave, there was like
a day literally squeezed us outand then went right back to
work.
So she was like I couldn't beon a breast pump.
Those things were like archaicand they were huge.
Nothing like you have today, noway.
So that was that.
We were all formula fedexclusively the whole time.
Bridget (28:47):
That's funny.
I think it was really popularlike in the nineties, and she
says it was because that waskind of like a big turnaround.
Marissa (28:55):
like the late eighties and the early nineties were like
mom's works, Whereas beforethem, like it was normal to be a
stay at home mom, and so shewas like, yeah, like formula was
available and every like allher friends had jobs, she had a
job.
So she was like, yeah, likeformula was available and every
like all her friends had jobs,she had a job so she was like
you know, you just like formulafeed.
Bridget (29:10):
It was so common I remember.
I mean, maybe we're weirdos,but we wouldn't talk about this.
As teenagers me and my friendsand I think majority of my
friends were all formula fed,like it was common to be like oh
yeah, you were a formula babytoo.
Yeah, me too, you know, yeah,and guess what we're all?
Marissa (29:22):
I think fine, and we're not psychos, we haven't killed
our parents, some of us majorityof us are good I bet you, the
menendez brothers, are breastfed, okay, everybody.
So it's okay, it's do it makesyou happy yeah, no again.
Bridget (29:37):
Fed is best.
Both are work, it doesn't.
Marissa (29:39):
It doesn't matter all right, so marissa hit us with
the first question.
Bridget (29:43):
Geri was asked what do you think about breast feeding
versus formula feeding?
Marissa (29:47):
In what essence?
I think it's a mother's choiceand neither one is better than
the other.
I prefer formula moreconsistent nutrition and less
hassle, Easier on the mom.
No proof one is better.
I know you can pump, but thestress affects your caregiving
ability also.
Who benefits then?
Bridget (30:02):
Good answer, Geri.
Good answer, I think we agreewith that.
Yeah, then good answer, Geri.
Good answer, I think we agreewith that.
Yeah, no, I agree.
So then we asked her why didn'tyou love us enough to
breastfeed us?
Laughy face, obviously sarcasm.
Marissa (30:12):
Because I was obviously joking because I just wanted to
piss her off a little bit.
So she said this is okay.
Her answer is so good guys, shereally flipped it on me.
You need to read it in her hertone, though I'm trying.
(30:35):
I feel like I can imagine howshe would say it.
So she said I loved you enoughto share.
You need to read it in her tone, though Breastfeeding would not
have made a difference.
I believe the question is theproblem, not the answer.
That's why the perception iswrong.
Am I a bad mother because Ichose not to?
Either choice is 100% correct.
You all were loved by many andwere very independent from the
beginning because you knew youwould be fed and cared for
(30:58):
intuitively from.
Any family member Makes for acalmer, more well-adjusted baby
and toddler.
Arguments can be made both ways.
I thought her answer was sogood Cause she's basically
saying that like we knew that wecould go to anyone for the, for
the milk, then for the formula.
It's not just like mom, mom,mom.
Bridget (31:16):
No, I agree, I agree, but that's also why I got into
that guy's van and was kidnapped.
Marissa (31:21):
So I'm sorry, what.
Bridget (31:23):
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm sorry what?
No, why did you take that soseriously?
No, I'm just kidding.
Marissa (31:31):
I'm kidding, you're like you feed me I would go
anywhere for food.
Bridget (31:37):
Guys, I still do.
You got food.
I want to follow ted bundy andyou anywhere if you offer me
some food.
Oh my god, that's funny.
You just got so concerned.
You're like is this a deep,dark family secret?
I know I was like did you gofor a ride around the block with
(32:04):
the?
Marissa (32:05):
fucking psycho.
Yep all for some cookies andmilk.
Bridget (32:07):
Oh my god, I'm just kidding I I was just picking at
her answer, but no, it was a.
I thought it was a great answer.
Marissa (32:11):
I'm just kidding I know it was a good answer.
I was impressed you really didsome like reverse psychology on
me.
Anyway.
Bridget (32:20):
So then we asked her how do you feel about
breastfeeding in public?
Marissa (32:25):
I'm laughing now.
Try to keep it private.
Use rooms or blankets or coversof some sort After a certain
age not at all, like over oneyears old, but parents' choice.
I'm not uncomfortable formyself, myself more for the mom
and not being able to offer herhelp.
They're almost 20 pounds, ifnot larger, and 26 inches.
Tough to do.
They should be on solids anyway.
Even the bottle and pacifiershould be gone by one, my
(32:47):
opinion only.
No judgment.
But they do have teeth and youwant them to grow incorrectly.
Bridget (32:51):
My mom's rules lol, I agree again.
No, I'm not, I swear.
I'm not judging you guys, butwhen I do see the pacifiers past
a certain age, I'm like, uh,come on, come on, take it away
you're just doing it foryourself.
Marissa (33:08):
I think the longer you wait, though, the harder it's
going to be, because they'reolder, they're stronger, they
understand more and they can belike no, I want it, whereas if
you take it when they're a baby,they have, they get over it,
they forget, they don't havelong-term memory.
By then.
Bridget (33:19):
They, literally two days later, will forget there
was ever a pacifier honestly, oryou could get hopefully most of
you get lucky, as me and mysecond didn't want one ever she
she actually was more colickywith it.
So when one night we were likelet's test this theory and we
took it away from her and I wantto say this was under three
months of having her home, soreally early on, and we took it
away and she was better and Iwas like interesting yeah, you
(33:42):
can with colicky babies.
They can suck air with thepacifier and it makes them
gassier yeah, no, she hated itand, uh, you know, as a true
people pleasing form, I took itaway from jack, maybe six or
seven months old, and he did not.
He was whatever you want.
Mommy sparkles eyes.
I'm like, okay, cool that kidis a dream, psycho is a dream.
(34:06):
Yes, yes, equally both parts.
So then we asked her one morequestion, and it's how do you
feel about women who preach thegospel of breast milk and judge?
Marissa (34:19):
those who use formula shut up and mind your own
business, take care of your ownyour way.
You don't know how or why whichway was chosen or the amount of
discussion that went into it.
The guilt is unnecessary.
Maybe there was a medicalreason, maybe an adoption.
Walk in my shoes before youcast judgment.
Maybe you just need a purposevolunteer or get a job.
If you know so much, why areyou not more inclusive of other
(34:39):
choices?
You aren't perfect either.
I have no patience for thesepeople.
Bridget (34:42):
Go world hunger we're really starting to see Geri's
personality shine now as asthese go on.
Marissa (34:48):
This is a great answer go solve world hunger go solve
world hunger, get out of here Ilike that answer because she's
saying it's like you.
You don't know what effortsomeone went through.
Maybe someone tried and couldnot, and they are at their wits
end.
They might be onantidepressants because of this.
And now you're going oh, haveyou tried breastfeeding?
Bridget (35:09):
and you're like I could strangle you I love when
she said go volunteer, get a job.
Marissa (35:15):
Volunteer get a job.
Bridget (35:19):
Yeah, no, I mean, I agree with her there.
We should not judge others.
Whatever you choose to do, thatis best.
I don't know what's going on inyour personal life or medical
issues, and it's not my place tobe honest, and you do, you.
Marissa (35:34):
Yeah, completely agree.
Before we sign off, I have onemore anecdote.
You do you?
Yeah, completely agree.
Before we sign off, I have onemore anecdote.
So I had a woman on the wardwho, like we, thought I can't.
I think she had like a bloodclot or something.
So when you are pregnant orbreastfeeding, you don't get the
normal oral tablet that isanti-clots, you get like
injections, and that's becauseyou can't have the Apixaban if
(35:54):
you're pregnant or breastfeeding.
It's dangerous for baby.
So this woman was like she justhad gave birth and I was like,
oh, she is going on theseinjections, blah, blah, blah and
um, I can't even remember thefull context, but basically the
breastfeeding midwife was onthat day and she was like, oh
well, cause the woman was like Iwon't breastfeed, I want the
(36:15):
tablets, I don't want theinjections.
And I said that's fine, you'renot pregnant anymore.
As long as you definitely don'tbreastfeed, you can take the
tablets.
And so I was prescribing themand this breastfeeding midwife
was like, oh so she's just notgoing to breastfeed.
And I was like I counseled her.
She said she doesn't want to,she doesn't want to inject
herself for the next threemonths, she'd rather be, it's
(36:43):
fine.
And she was like, like, so thisis more important than
breastfeeding, and I said hernot dying of a blood clot, yeah,
yeah, I'm sorry, that is moreimportant than her breastfeeding
and like, and it just pissed meoff and it put me in such a
mood because I was just like I'msorry, I know you're the infant
feeding midwife and you thinkit's so important, but like, at
the end of the day, we'retreating her blood clot and her
baby will be fed with formula,so everybody wins.
Yeah, see, for me that's goingtoo far.
That woman went too far toassume like that was more
important, and that's where Ifeel like people are pushing
(37:05):
their own opinions and agendas,and then I get annoyed that I'm
like okay stop, please.
Yeah, it really pissed me off,put me in such a sour mood.
But whatever done with that nowI just feel like I would leave
you all on that note leave youall angered and pissed off at
this stranger.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, it's been a pleasure,guys, as always, please like,
(37:27):
subscribe, follow us on youtubeat psychotic py podcast um, it's
the same for instagrampsychotic py podcast.
And thank you, as always, forlistening in and being so
patient with us, as we do adjustand have some weeks off due to
our schedules.
Or, like I said, bridget cominghere, which will be great
because then we can start doingthe video podcasting for you
guys super excited.
(37:47):
But really, until she gets here, it's going to be an adjustment
and then, even when she givesbirth, it will probably be
another adjustment.
So, thank you for alwaysbearing with us and being such
great followers.
We love, love you all.
Yes, we absolutely do.
Let us know what you thinkabout breastfeeding.
If you have any funny stories,if you were a formula baby, let
us know.
Please, honestly like give ussome comments on Instagram or on
YouTube and we will incorporateyour stories next week or in
(38:09):
two weeks.
Yes, Love you guys.
Bye.
Hello and welcome to episode four of the second
season of our podcast.
I can't say the name in thebeginning because YouTube will
edit us out.
Today we're talking aboutboobies, so if you've ever heard
the term breast is best andthought to yourself is it really
?
Then this episode is for you.
Whether you want to roll youreyes at the notion or you're a
(00:27):
worshiper at the altar of liquidgold, this episode has
something for everyone,including tough love with chair
bear, everybody's favoritesegment yes, welcome back
everyone.
We're so glad to have you allwith us, so excited for this
episode sorry we had to miss outlast week.
we just absolutely could not doit.
I was away for my cringe 30thbirthday.
So, yeah, we were driving backfrom a mini vacation baby moon
(00:49):
birthday, you know all that.
So I'm 30 now and you can allmourn my youth, Thank you.
You literally look the same.
Well, we'll see once this babycomes.
Okay, so let's dive in.
Let's talk about the healthbenefits of breast milk so it
meets all of baby's nutritionalneeds.
For quote, unquote free.
Of course it doesn't accountfor the time demands placed on
(01:11):
mom.
So if mom could be working butshe's being a cow on demand,
then it's not technically free,but it is free in the sense that
you're not buying formula.
It contains IgA, which is animmunoglobulin passed through
mucousous membranes, so it cango from mom to baby and it
provides some immunity andprotection for baby.
It also fosters a bond betweenmom and baby.
(01:31):
It can help reduce risk ofdiarrhea and vomiting, reduce
risk of SIDS, which is suddeninfant death syndrome, obesity
and cardiovascular disease inadulthood.
So there are some really greatbenefits of breast milk.
To gain the potential benefits,such as reduced childhood
obesity, infections and reducedallergies, baby needs to be
exclusively breastfed for atleast four months.
(01:53):
I cannot stress that enough.
So if you cave literally onceand give formula, the spell is
broken and you may as well notput so much pressure on yourself
anymore.
Just do what makes you feel themost comfortable.
So that whole like reduction inobesity, reduction in allergies
thing there's a lot of evidencebehind this.
You have to do, for four months, every single day, breast milk
only.
You cannot break it one time,otherwise you don't get those
(02:15):
allergen benefits.
So it's like you may as welljust make your life easy.
Breastfeeding also has somehealth benefits for mom, though,
like lowering your risk ofbreast cancer, ovarian cancer,
osteoporosis, cardiovasculardisease and obesity.
In terms of obesity,breastfeeding requires a lot of
healthy caloric intake andadequate hydration, so it's
normal to feel insatiable ifyou're actively breastfeeding.
(02:38):
A lot of new moms say thatthey're just like I'm not
gaining weight, but I'm alsolike eating a ton.
I just cannot stop eating.
If you're breastfeeding, you'reburning tons of calories.
Some women do report anincreased appetite paired with
weight loss, where others reportincreased appetite and an
inability to lose those last 10to 15 pounds.
So everybody's different andboth presentations are normal.
(02:58):
So some people will store alittle bit of excess fat in
order to produce enough breastmilk.
So your body's purposefullyholding onto that last layer of
fat because it knows you need it, and this can be really
difficult for some women who areused to living in a smaller
body.
And if breastfeeding is causingyou psychological distress,
depression, negative thoughtsabout yourself, then it's not
(03:18):
worth it.
It's simply not worth it.
You cannot be the best parentand the best person for your
loved ones if you're silentlybattling poor self-esteem.
So it is absolutely not worththe mental anguish and forcing
yourself to breastfeed if youcan't show up and be the best
version of yourself for you andbaby.
So if that's the case, justtake the stress off and if
formula is an option for you andyour baby, try it.
(03:41):
I'm not saying you have to.
I'm just saying, if you'reliving life every day grilling
yourself, saying why can't I dothis?
Why does it look so easy foreveryone else?
Try formula one or two times.
If it jives with you and baby,just supplement with formula.
Okay, because fed is best.
Absolutely so.
It's important to remember.
Like Bridget said, fed is best.
(04:01):
That's definitely the best.
So for me personally, with myfirst son, jack, I breastfed him
for five and a half six months.
I did not produce enough andthat is something that I feel
like is not really talked aboutin society.
Like it is once you've givenbirth and you know the nurses
and the lactation consultantcomes in, that's all you hear
about is worrying about that andlatching.
But before that I didn't evenknow that was a thing and I was
(04:24):
not prepared for it mentally atall.
Honestly, feelings ofworthlessness came over me, like
how can I not feed my own child?
Like this is my one job in life.
Like why am I not good at it?
Like why is every?
Because I would?
I would try everything,everything that they told me or
even I googled.
I tried, bridget, you even gaveme those special cookies that
had like oatmeal in them andstuff.
It kind of bumped the milk alittle bit, but not enough for
(04:46):
me to fully just remain onbreast milk for him.
So with Jack I had to do both.
I did have to supplementformula, which gave me internal
feelings of shame and guilt,worthlessness, feeling like
because before I ever had kidsin my mind, I had figured I was
going to just do breast milk.
If I could do that, why not?
Not only would it save me money, but it would make me feel so
(05:07):
great about myself, because itwas a goal of mine to just have
them on breast milk only.
And so when I failed that goal,my first goal as a mother, it
was really really bad for mementally.
And other people go through thatas well, and that's why it's
really important to talk aboutthis stuff.
It is something that isactually more common than I
thought, because other peoplethat were also giving birth
maybe a year or two after mecolleagues of mine with their
(05:29):
first child as well, they hadissues with breast milk supply.
It happens, you know, and it'sjust something that really no
one prepares you for until ithappens to yourself.
And then you have to deal withwatching other mothers who just
have an abundance or anoverabundance of milk and it's
really frustrating, to be honest.
So physical demands obviouslyhuge on the mother.
With my second child I swearit's just life just keeps
(05:52):
getting me.
But my second child I hadoverproduction of milk, which
was great, right, except redflag.
My daughter was allergic to mybreast milk.
So the whole time that Ithought she was just colic,
because she was a colicky babyborn that way, incorrect I was
literally giving her really badacid reflux from the milk
because she couldn't have it.
So then I overproduced for noreason, because then I had to go
to formula because it was theonly thing that made her a
(06:14):
normal, happy baby that couldsleep and nap without being
fussy.
So yeah, you know life neverworks out in your favor.
So just be prepared for thatwhen you're a mom and that is
why fed is best right, becauseyou can't prepare for any of
that.
And it's never the mother'sfault, never the baby's fault.
You just you have to overcome,adapt, you know.
Shift, that's all that's.
That's how we go through lifeand that's how we make it
(06:35):
through.
So let's go through some of themental health aspects of
breastfeeding on the mother.
So, like I just mentioned, evenin my own personal story,
physical demands.
It's very physically demanding,especially in the early stages
when the babies feed frequentlyand you're getting your milk
supply in.
So this can lead to exhaustionand affects your mental
wellbeing.
That can lead into theemotional impact.
Hormonal changes alone duringbreastfeeding can affect mood
(06:58):
and some mothers experience asurge in oxytocin, which is the
bonding hormone which canenhance feelings of closeness
and well-being.
So sometimes it could be a goodemotional impact.
However, fusions and hormonescould also contribute to mood
swings, feelings of anxiety,depression in some women.
So all of this just to keep inmind Pressure and guilt.
There's often societal pressureon mothers to breastfeed
exclusively for certain periodsof time and this will contribute
(07:21):
to feelings of guilt orinadequacy, as I mentioned, I
felt, if you know breastfeedingdoes not go as planned or there
are certain difficulties thatyou do not prepare for.
Isolation Breastfeeding cansometimes be very isolating,
especially if the mother feelsshe must always be available to
feed her baby.
This can lead to feelings ofloneliness or being overwhelmed.
It can even lead to feelings ofresentment because if you are,
(07:42):
you know directly, exclusivelybreastfeeding from the breast
and you're feeling like yourpartner is getting off easy,
pretty much right, like you'realways doing the feedings,
you're always getting up andhe's just doing this or that and
, although it's helpful, youfeel like you're doing the bulk
of the work.
So with the hormones and themood swings, it's easy.
It's easy to build resentment,understandable, especially with
a lack of sleep.
(08:03):
Bridget did mention and touch onthis but body image.
So you're going to experiencechanges in your body and how you
see your body and feel in yourbody and that is due to
breastfeeding and this impactsyour self-esteem and your mental
health.
Overall.
I will say, given time, like ayear, sometimes even 18 months
out, your body should feelnormal, even if you're still up
on the scale in weight.
(08:24):
Your body just feels more.
You is the best way I candescribe it, and for anyone
who's hard on themselves, rightafter giving birth, the best
advice I ever got was it tooknine months to grow that big.
So be easy on yourself, becauseyou know mothers are really,
with everything society today,saying bounce back.
Oh, you're 30 days out.
Why don't you look like you're,you know, smaller?
(08:45):
No, it took you nine months togrow and really 10 months
because it's a nine full months.
You need that, plus plus some,to feel like yourself again,
like why is it okay to expectthat we grow slowly but we got
to bounce back like a rubberband?
No, it's just not.
That does not make sense andit's not reality.
So we also have challenges andfrustrations to breastfeeding
Lash difficulties, pain, lowmilk supply.
(09:07):
This is extremely frustratingand emotionally taxing.
So just all things to thinkabout when you're going on this
journey into motherhood.
Marissa (09:14):
Yeah, a lot of people are being like I'm just over 33
weeks now.
So people are like, oh, whatare you going to do?
And I'm like I always thought Iwould pump.
I would try to pump, justbecause at least I'm doing
something.
I don't know.
I figured, hey, I'll give it ago, maybe if I have the milk
anyway, it's something to do.
But I would never, was like Ineed to put pressure on myself
(09:34):
to exclusively breastfeed, likeI just I'm not that bothered
about it, but I'm willing to try.
Last week and I've said this somany times because if you pump,
then at least you can likefreeze the milk, refrigerate it.
Your partner can get up in thenight and help you feed, because
all you have to do is reheatthe breast milk.
So it's not exclusively on you.
I've said it to everybody.
And Ted last week was like oh,but you don't want to like nurse
(09:56):
at all directly.
And I was like I mean notreally.
And he was like but it wouldreally mean a lot to me, like
because I think it will help youguys bond more.
And I'm thinking I'm gonna be onmat leave like this baby and I
are gonna be like white on rice,like I don't think I need any
more any more bonding time withthis leech.
But you know, like, if that'swhat you want me to do, I was
like for you, if you really, ifit means so much, like I'll give
(10:20):
it a go.
I was like I'm not going tolike stress myself out if it
doesn't work and I'm just notgood at it.
Also, like I know you guyshaven't seen me like we're not
on video or anything yet I don'thave very big boobs, so, which
means I have pretty smallnipples.
Like I do not foresee myselfbeing some like expert
breastfeeder, so I don't know,you know, I'm just like I'm not
(10:43):
putting any pressure, like if itgoes, it goes, but I planned
like mostly pump, you know.
Bridget (10:49):
Yeah, but yeah I will say cause I did the exclusively
pump route when I was trying todo breast milk.
It's actually harder.
In my experience and the othersI've talked to who did what I
did, it's actually I thinkbreastfeeding directly from the
breast is easier a little bitand I don't want to offend
anyone, but I mean easier in asense that you can just pick the
baby up, you know, in the midwee hours, and attach when with
(11:12):
pumping it's just like I wasattached to this machine on a
certain level for a certainamount of time and you know
people were over there and I wasisolated, isolation.
Here we go in a corner and itwas like I can give you the PTSD
sound, right, here we go in acorner and it was like I can, I
can give you the ptsd sound,right, and I was like milking a
cow every two to three hours.
I was.
I felt like a production, amilk production facility.
Marissa (11:35):
I really I remember that sound still, because every
time we'd be having aconversation you'd you'd be
hooked up to the pump andhonestly, kimmy.
Bridget (11:44):
So Kimmy did both, but even she said because she did
more on the breast than I did, Ilike I said I just did
exclusive pump and she was likeit's just so much easier.
Marissa, you know like I'mexhausted.
I'd rather just get up, putthem on my breast and I'm like
you're right, honestly, you'reright and it's a me issue,
because that's what I didn't doit for my own personal reasons,
but I was, was like it's just Ican't, but the machine is awful.
(12:06):
She's right, it's got awful.
Marissa (12:08):
Yeah, oh, I mean I, I'm not like gonna go in with any
expectation either way.
I think that sets yourself upfor failure.
Like I don't want to do one orthe other, I'm happy, like if I
have a baby that has more fooddemands than I can supply and
you know Jerry's going to belike just give him the formula.
Fine, honestly, like just makethe baby go to bed.
Bridget (12:30):
I was using the pump and Nicole, hey, nicole, bill
Benny shout out when she wouldvisit me.
She would like to have thislook of horror, like when you
watch a scary movie andsomeone's getting murdered and
cut up into pieces.
I'd be like why are you staringat my tits and why do you look
so horrified?
And she goes the fact that it'staking your nipple and
(12:51):
stretching it so far.
She's like it's scaring me.
She was like are you trying totell me that my nipples are
going to be stretched in thatmachine?
I'm like I mean, if you do themachine, yeah, like, yeah.
Marissa (13:00):
That was really hard to get used to, like watching you.
I'm sorry, but it's true.
Like they pull them out like afull inch.
Bridget (13:12):
It was painful, and each with each kid too, you have
to, like build the calluses upon the breast part.
I mean, honestly, I've neverasked any other mothers about
this, so maybe I was using thewrong size or whatever, but for
each time I'd have to build up acallus, and so the first two to
three weeks of back on themachine my nipples would get
bloody and like the tips wouldfall off and then it would come
(13:32):
back and I'd be fine.
But and I was using thelinoleum and everything I was
properly cleaning the machine,making sure I was moisturized
and I was like, why do my titsalways bleed like I hate this it
was very good, yeah, that thatdoes happen though.
Marissa (13:47):
Yeah, and that that's one of the things that, like
women, they get discouraged by,and they're like you know what.
It's not worth it.
It really hurts.
It's uncomfortable for me.
I will say, though, that thatis even if you no matter how you
breastfeed, pump or nursedirectly part of breastfeeding
is like your nipples crackingand bleeding like that.
Even if you're the bestbreastfeeder, your baby takes
day one.
(14:07):
You're making tons of milk,everything's going amazing.
You're bonding, you're like I'mso happy.
The first couple of weeks your,your boobs are bleeding.
That is just part of it.
I don't know why.
Bridget (14:16):
And they're super sensitive and your milk
production, if it comes inyou're, they're swollen and what
was weird, which I don't knowwhy, but I did kind of find it
fun and relieving.
But I I would enjoy waking up,since I didn't do it through the
night.
It would be like concrete, likeas if I got like quadruple d's
overnight from dr miami and theywould be solid concrete.
And then it felt so good torelieve it because your first
(14:39):
pump your boobs got were squishyagain and I don't know why, but
that to me, that feeling isstill fun.
I don't know why.
That sounds very nice.
Oh, it felt amazing.
But before the first pump youwere like oh my god, I can't get
out of bed.
There's concrete cement blockson my chest.
Marissa (14:52):
I'm nervous about this, oh my gosh.
So when Marissa just had Jack,we went to Philadelphia to visit
our Aunt Irene and we had likea girl's lunch, like we were all
drinking.
We were like drunk at noon.
We had like a great time andmarissa was like didn't bring
her pump.
Like she's like I'm not doingthat crap today.
And by the time we got backhome to our parents in jersey,
like she stopped at our parentsand we were in our like
(15:15):
childhood bathroom and I had tohand express milk out because
her boobs were so swollen andengorged and she's like I need
and she was just like bent overa sink and I was like hand
expressing.
It was just shooting out.
And then this is soembarrassing Like our dad was
walking down the hallway andhe's like what's going on in
(15:36):
there and we're like get out.
Bridget (15:40):
That was one for the sister books.
Yeah, oh my God, that is sofunny.
Oh my god, that was before.
So with my second with evelyn,I had the willow, uh, cordless.
They could take anywhere, butat that time I didn't.
I had the one from the wall.
You had to be plugged out to anoutlet, so I just didn't take
it and I knew I was drinkinganyway.
So I was like it's all bad milkat this point I'm out of here,
man.
Marissa (16:00):
Oh, I love that now that you brought that up.
Bridget (16:03):
Let's talk about that, that fun time.
Actually it was a Wednesdayafternoon, right?
What did the waiter say?
Marissa (16:09):
Wednesday afternoon we were absolutely sloshed at lunch
, obviously Marissa, because shewas like breastfeeding and
everything.
It was like two glasses of wineand she was drunk and the
waiter brought the bill and hewas just like, okay, lady,
should we just run it back?
Like just do it all again?
Bridget (16:24):
and we were like, yeah , oh my goodness, I think he
even asked us that.
Right, he was like ladies,ladies, it's a Wednesday
afternoon, what's going on?
And you were like she's onmaternity leave.
Marissa (16:36):
She needs to have fun.
Oh, that was such a good lunch.
She was right on RittenhouseSquare.
Guys recommend it.
Park Rittenhouse Square.
So this topic reminds me.
I just saw I don't know ifanyone else has seen this and
it's probably an old clipbecause it was from, like the
ellen show.
Ali wong, hilarious comedianand mother, she at the time was
(16:56):
on the ellen show, so it's likeat least a year old or so, and
she was talking about how shehad a three-month-old.
She looks incredible and had atwo-year-old at the time.
She was saying that thetwo-year-old was getting a bit
jealous, as babies do.
They get a bit jealous whenthere's a new baby in town.
And she started saying likemama, I want to feed from the
breast.
And then she's like tellingEllen the sheer fact that you
(17:18):
could say that sentence excludesyou from being able to
breastfeed also, your full setof teeth.
Bridget (17:26):
I remember that interview and I love her.
She's my favorite, so I watchalmost everything that you know
she puts out or does so.
But yeah, that was a good one,so funny.
Marissa (17:33):
But yeah, I just figured I'd mention her in there
because she's such a great likecomedian for moms and like mom
guilt and everything oh yes,absolutely.
Bridget (17:42):
She's just so funny if you watch any of her things on
netflix hilarious, all good formaternity leave if you need a
good dopamine boost.
Marissa (17:48):
I know, but she kind of like makes you scared, like the
first special I ever saw, whenshe just had her first child and
she was like maternity leave,honestly, like things are
dripping, things are bleeding,like your boobs are hanging, and
then your friends come over andyou're just like, don't look at
me.
Bridget (18:04):
I was like, oh my god, this sounds terrible my
favorite is when she's talkingabout that dainty friend she had
.
But then she opens the door tothe cul-de-sac and she's like
look at this shit.
Marissa (18:12):
Look what this kid did to me look at this shit look at
it like and she's had twoc-sections and like there it's
major surgery.
Bridget (18:22):
And then people are just like okay, go look after a
baby I don't know how peoplelike single moms do it, because
for the two weeks I reallycouldn't get up without the baby
being handed to me by John and,honestly, sometimes I was just
so mentally exhausted.
I remember when I texted youwith Evelyn I had the low grade
fever.
When I first got home I hadchills, so I was in no shape to.
(18:42):
I was like I felt the sick sohe'd had to do it all.
Marissa (18:45):
Honestly, yeah, I mean, it is tough, like you really
need a partner who whether it'syour sister, mom, brother,
literally anyone in your familyor your spouse you really need
someone there.
When you've had a C-section,nobody realizes that the
recovery is so much slower, umcause, we just tear through your
insides.
Bridget (19:03):
Oh yeah, oh, trust me, I know I felt it.
The healing, the recovery wasjust very hard and weirdly I
thought in my mind like a sicko,it was probably me just being
like oh, it's okay, have anotherkid.
I thought like in my mind itworked like a vaginal birth,
like, oh, you know, you've donethis before, bounce back.
No, marissa, you're stillcutting through seven layers
(19:25):
each time.
You stupid fool.
So, in my mind.
I thought going in with Evelynwas like I've cut through these
seven layers before I'm going tohop up.
Yeah, no, no, no.
In fact, I felt like it wasworse because my skin was like
bitch.
You already did this two yearsago.
Are you trying to die Like?
What are you doing?
Marissa (19:41):
Yeah, and they get more complex.
Like the more C-sections youhave in a row, they get very,
very complex because of scartissue, so it can be much more
painful.
You know, the first one's likea nice freebie, a freebie.
Bridget (19:55):
Nice.
Marissa (19:55):
Yeah, I got my punch card.
Bridget (19:57):
How many?
How many can I get?
Yeah?
Marissa (20:05):
Anyway, moving on.
So I don't want it to soundlike we're anti-breastfeeding,
because we're definitely not.
Obviously Marissa did it twice,it's just.
I just want to make light of itso people understand like it's
not like an end-all be-all, likeyou can combi feed and your
baby will be fine.
Bridget (20:19):
Yeah, no, yeah, I just think I, for me personally, I
wish there was more people whotalked about it and was more
real and honest.
You know I'm sick of hearingthe whole oh, it's going to be
so magical, it's going to be thebest bonding experience of your
life.
Now, I'm not saying thatdoesn't happen for some people
Probably.
It just didn't happen to meDoesn't mean I don't look back
(20:40):
at my maternity leaves and thinkblissfully how amazing it was.
Now that I'm out of the thickof it and I forget all the hard
times, I still I'm so grateful,would do it again because I'm
insane, but it's just thereality of it.
For me it was kind of a shitshow.
I'm not going to lie, it was ashit show.
Marissa (20:55):
Yeah, it's very time consuming and, uh, I don't know.
It's one of those things whereI I just I hate bringing it up
with people, because people justgive you that look and they're
like breast and sins and you'relike, okay, I don't know.
So I just try to like not evenmention it.
Bridget (21:13):
I really don't like when they say that, because it
really makes the people whodon't produce enough feel like
something's wrong with them andit's just not fair because you
don't have control over that.
You know it's not like if I hadchanged my eating habits or
anything, and I don't smoke.
I don't have control over that.
You know.
It's not like if I had changedmy eating habits or anything,
and I don't smoke, I don't dodrugs, so it's none of those
things.
Either I wasn't sick oranything, or and just think,
(21:33):
like what if a mother years agohad hers removed for breast
cancer and she's completely inthe clear now having kids, how
are you going to sit there andsay breast milk is best for her?
She's clearly not like.
You know what I mean.
She's obviously going to useformula.
Her breasts are gone.
Marissa (21:47):
What about adoptive?
Bridget (21:48):
parents.
There's that too, yep, and Ijust think, as long as you're
feeding the kid and you'retaking it to the appointments
and they're, you know, lookinggreat, you know they're growing
the way they should, then that'sokay.
Marissa (22:01):
Exactly.
Yeah, I completely agree, right, so this is a little thing that
a lot of people don't know isyour breast milk changes as baby
ages.
So the first few drops you makeare called colostrum and it's
often referred to as liquid gold.
And even though it looks like ateeny, tiny amount literally
tiny little drops that appear atyour nipples, it's all a
newborn needs, because theirbelly is super, super tiny when
(22:23):
they're born.
So as baby grows, you adapt andyou do produce more breast milk
and the fat levels change, theglucose level change, the
protein it all adjusts to baby'sneeds.
The milk you produce during thefirst year of life is completely
different than the milk youcould produce in the second year
of baby's life if you continueto continue breastfeeding.
However, if you choose tobreastfeed beyond one year, you
(22:46):
have to make sure you're alsofeeding baby solid food.
Okay, you can't exclusivelybreastfeed for like two years.
This is to develop their teethand their jaw.
Mastication is really important.
If you allow your child todrink all of their meals, they
will have a weak jaw, they'll belazy and they'll be picky
eaters.
Also, they'll develop somethingcalled milk anemia.
Pediatricians see it all thetime.
(23:07):
Babies love milk becausethey're used to it, so they fill
up on it and they eat thatinstead of lunch and dinner and
you go.
Well, my baby's growing andthey're happy, yeah, but they're
not getting iron so all of asudden they'll be really pale
and tired.
So milk anemia is like supercommon because parents are just
like well, he likes milk, hefills up on it.
They have to eat real food aswell.
All parents will tell you howfrustrating it is when you first
introduce foods like chickenMarissa, I'm sure you remember
(23:31):
this.
Kids take forever to eat it.
They say they don't like it.
They complain a ton.
It's because chewing meat takesa long time and they get bored.
It's not that they don'tactually like it, they just
they're.
They're lazy eaters becausethey're new to it.
So it's it's really importantto introduce these solids.
They develop a palate, theydevelop jaw strength and
patience and their teeth getstronger and are used to tearing
(23:53):
away at things like meat orharder vegetables.
So it's really important.
You have to introduce solids.
Even if you say I want tobreastfeed for many years, I
love the feeling my kid will befour years still breastfeeding.
Bridget (24:05):
Fine, they have to eat solid food feeling my kid will
be four years, stillbreastfeeding.
Fine, they have to eat solidfood.
Yep, yep, and don't be hard onyourself if you do all the
recommended and your kid isstill a picky eater, because
that is what happened to me withboth kids and you know, oh, for
two here and what I can say isit gets better.
So my first is now he justturned five, july 4th and he is
actually now my best eater, whenoriginally he was my worst.
(24:26):
So it just got to a point whereI would say around three and a
half four, we just startedsaying like, nope, now you eat
with mommy and daddy makes wedon't make you something special
and you will try a differentveggie with us, you know.
And now he's my best eater atfive.
Um, and now we're working onthe other one.
She's about there becauseshe'll be three in October and
that's where where we're goingto kind of be like no, no, no,
(24:46):
you now eat what we eat, wherewe had given you leniency for
all these years, but no more.
Marissa (24:51):
Yeah, it's.
It's hard because obviously ata certain point you just want
them to eat anything.
You just don't care.
Remember when Jack would onlyeat the peanut butter sandwiches
and it was like fine kid, aslong as you're eating, because
they're just so tiring, agreedhonestly, due to the opposites
of their personalities.
Bridget (25:09):
I feel like jack was really easy on the.
You know the transition.
I do um believe that evelynwill not make it so easy on us.
I think it will be a battle, alot of eye rolling, a lot of
screaming, crying, but it's justlike you know, I can't continue
to give in.
I don't want to have a 21 yearold only eating peanut butter
sandwiches, bananas I thinkthat's honestly maybe some
(25:29):
chicken nuggets here and there.
She doesn't eat a lot.
Oh, she eats yogurts.
I'll give her.
I'll give her that she's goodwith yogurts and her little
coconut milk yogurts.
Marissa (25:37):
Oh, I'm surprised because when she was a little
little baby, she was a goodeater she flipped they.
Bridget (25:42):
Well, it was weird because he was a picky eater,
now he's's good and she was agood eater and now she's so
picky, unbelievably picky itgives me a headache.
Marissa (25:49):
But I just you know.
Bridget (25:50):
I just go through it, gotta brave through it, but
she's a little bit sassy now,you know, as a practically
three-year-old.
The problem with her is myfirst was a people pleaser, so
if I ask him to do something,even if I have to say it more
than once, he will do it.
And because he says, because Ilove you, mommy, okay, that's
(26:10):
great.
Love you too, hon.
This one tells me no, and if Itry to like come back at her,
she'll roll her eyes and like doa smirk.
You ever see those, you everget in a fight with someone and
you're so angry, but they'resmiling.
That's my daughter and I'm likesmile one more time, girlfriend
.
Hey, sir to god.
So yeah, it's fun time.
Marissa (26:31):
I can't wait to witness this.
I am flying home two weeks fromtoday and I can't wait oh, it's
fun, it's a fun time.
Bridget (26:38):
Yeah, I tell her to go to time out.
She willingly goes.
Now she has fun in time out.
So now I'm like great, now whatdo I do?
Because she loves time out, shethinks it's a vacation, a spa
vacation apparently.
Marissa (26:49):
She's like finally time to myself.
Bridget (26:51):
losers, honestly like I'll tell her in my mom voice
and she'll go.
Okay, and if y'all haven't seenme, obviously since there's no
camera, I just flipped my hair,she walks right to the timeout.
Marissa (27:01):
Chair Evelyn, you, cutie, you think it's cute until
it's your daughter.
Bridget (27:04):
Evelyn, you cutie.
Yeah, you think it's cute untilit's your daughter.
Marissa (27:06):
All right, everybody, let's get into it.
Everyone's favorite segment istough love with GerBear.
Yeah, Gerbear, I have thepleasure of seeing GerBear in
person at the end of this week.
I will see her.
Oh, when this episode drops,Geri will be in England with me.
Bridget (27:30):
Yes.
So on that note, before westart tough love with Ger Bear,
I want to say next week is a bigweek for my sister.
She's having her English babyshower, so therefore we will be
skipping an episode, but you'llstill get content.
What we will be doing is I'mgoing to have someone over there
, while she's there, little bitsand pieces of her English baby
shower, and I will kind of putall that together with music and
(27:51):
put it on our socials andyou'll be able to see that.
Marissa (27:54):
We will leave you with a question how do you guys feel
about breastfeeding?
Were you breastfed?
Did you breastfeed?
Is it something you feelstrongly about?
And please write back to usabout it and we'll talk about it
in the next episode we recordAbsolutely.
Bridget (28:07):
All right, so let's get into this.
Marissa (28:08):
Let's do it.
So we asked Geri her opinionsabout breastfeeding and we can't
wait to share her answers withyou guys.
So firstly I'll say none of uswere breastfed.
I think she attempted a fewdays at Marissa, she said, but
then she had to go back toetiesand they just did not allow for
freedom of movement like pumpsdo nowadays, and she was a young
(28:29):
business owner at that time.
So she literally never therewas no mat leave, there was like
a day literally squeezed us outand then went right back to
work.
So she was like I couldn't beon a breast pump.
Those things were like archaicand they were huge.
Nothing like you have today, noway.
So that was that.
We were all formula fedexclusively the whole time.
Bridget (28:47):
That's funny.
I think it was really popularlike in the nineties, and she
says it was because that waskind of like a big turnaround.
Marissa (28:55):
like the late eighties and the early nineties were like
mom's works, Whereas beforethem, like it was normal to be a
stay at home mom, and so shewas like, yeah, like formula was
available and every like allher friends had jobs, she had a
job.
So she was like, yeah, likeformula was available and every
like all her friends had jobs,she had a job so she was like
you know, you just like formulafeed.
Bridget (29:10):
It was so common I remember.
I mean, maybe we're weirdos,but we wouldn't talk about this.
As teenagers me and my friendsand I think majority of my
friends were all formula fed,like it was common to be like oh
yeah, you were a formula babytoo.
Yeah, me too, you know, yeah,and guess what we're all?
Marissa (29:22):
I think fine, and we're not psychos, we haven't killed
our parents, some of us majorityof us are good I bet you, the
menendez brothers, are breastfed, okay, everybody.
So it's okay, it's do it makesyou happy yeah, no again.
Bridget (29:37):
Fed is best.
Both are work, it doesn't.
Marissa (29:39):
It doesn't matter all right, so marissa hit us with
the first question.
Bridget (29:43):
Geri was asked what do you think about breast feeding
versus formula feeding?
Marissa (29:47):
In what essence?
I think it's a mother's choiceand neither one is better than
the other.
I prefer formula moreconsistent nutrition and less
hassle, Easier on the mom.
No proof one is better.
I know you can pump, but thestress affects your caregiving
ability also.
Who benefits then?
Bridget (30:02):
Good answer, Geri.
Good answer, I think we agreewith that.
Yeah, then good answer, Geri.
Good answer, I think we agreewith that.
Yeah, no, I agree.
So then we asked her why didn'tyou love us enough to
breastfeed us?
Laughy face, obviously sarcasm.
Marissa (30:12):
Because I was obviously joking because I just wanted to
piss her off a little bit.
So she said this is okay.
Her answer is so good guys, shereally flipped it on me.
You need to read it in her hertone, though I'm trying.
(30:35):
I feel like I can imagine howshe would say it.
So she said I loved you enoughto share.
You need to read it in her tone, though Breastfeeding would not
have made a difference.
I believe the question is theproblem, not the answer.
That's why the perception iswrong.
Am I a bad mother because Ichose not to?
Either choice is 100% correct.
You all were loved by many andwere very independent from the
beginning because you knew youwould be fed and cared for
(30:58):
intuitively from.
Any family member Makes for acalmer, more well-adjusted baby
and toddler.
Arguments can be made both ways.
I thought her answer was sogood Cause she's basically
saying that like we knew that wecould go to anyone for the, for
the milk, then for the formula.
It's not just like mom, mom,mom.
Bridget (31:16):
No, I agree, I agree, but that's also why I got into
that guy's van and was kidnapped.
Marissa (31:21):
So I'm sorry, what.
Bridget (31:23):
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm sorry what?
No, why did you take that soseriously?
No, I'm just kidding.
Marissa (31:31):
I'm kidding, you're like you feed me I would go
anywhere for food.
Bridget (31:37):
Guys, I still do.
You got food.
I want to follow ted bundy andyou anywhere if you offer me
some food.
Oh my god, that's funny.
You just got so concerned.
You're like is this a deep,dark family secret?
I know I was like did you gofor a ride around the block with
(32:04):
the?
Marissa (32:05):
fucking psycho.
Yep all for some cookies andmilk.
Bridget (32:07):
Oh my god, I'm just kidding I I was just picking at
her answer, but no, it was a.
I thought it was a great answer.
Marissa (32:11):
I'm just kidding I know it was a good answer.
I was impressed you really didsome like reverse psychology on
me.
Anyway.
Bridget (32:20):
So then we asked her how do you feel about
breastfeeding in public?
Marissa (32:25):
I'm laughing now.
Try to keep it private.
Use rooms or blankets or coversof some sort After a certain
age not at all, like over oneyears old, but parents' choice.
I'm not uncomfortable formyself, myself more for the mom
and not being able to offer herhelp.
They're almost 20 pounds, ifnot larger, and 26 inches.
Tough to do.
They should be on solids anyway.
Even the bottle and pacifiershould be gone by one, my
(32:47):
opinion only.
No judgment.
But they do have teeth and youwant them to grow incorrectly.
Bridget (32:51):
My mom's rules lol, I agree again.
No, I'm not, I swear.
I'm not judging you guys, butwhen I do see the pacifiers past
a certain age, I'm like, uh,come on, come on, take it away
you're just doing it foryourself.
Marissa (33:08):
I think the longer you wait, though, the harder it's
going to be, because they'reolder, they're stronger, they
understand more and they can belike no, I want it, whereas if
you take it when they're a baby,they have, they get over it,
they forget, they don't havelong-term memory.
By then.
Bridget (33:19):
They, literally two days later, will forget there
was ever a pacifier honestly, oryou could get hopefully most of
you get lucky, as me and mysecond didn't want one ever she
she actually was more colickywith it.
So when one night we were likelet's test this theory and we
took it away from her and I wantto say this was under three
months of having her home, soreally early on, and we took it
away and she was better and Iwas like interesting yeah, you
(33:42):
can with colicky babies.
They can suck air with thepacifier and it makes them
gassier yeah, no, she hated itand, uh, you know, as a true
people pleasing form, I took itaway from jack, maybe six or
seven months old, and he did not.
He was whatever you want.
Mommy sparkles eyes.
I'm like, okay, cool that kidis a dream, psycho is a dream.
(34:06):
Yes, yes, equally both parts.
So then we asked her one morequestion, and it's how do you
feel about women who preach thegospel of breast milk and judge?
Marissa (34:19):
those who use formula shut up and mind your own
business, take care of your ownyour way.
You don't know how or why whichway was chosen or the amount of
discussion that went into it.
The guilt is unnecessary.
Maybe there was a medicalreason, maybe an adoption.
Walk in my shoes before youcast judgment.
Maybe you just need a purposevolunteer or get a job.
If you know so much, why areyou not more inclusive of other
(34:39):
choices?
You aren't perfect either.
I have no patience for thesepeople.
Bridget (34:42):
Go world hunger we're really starting to see Geri's
personality shine now as asthese go on.
Marissa (34:48):
This is a great answer go solve world hunger go solve
world hunger, get out of here Ilike that answer because she's
saying it's like you.
You don't know what effortsomeone went through.
Maybe someone tried and couldnot, and they are at their wits
end.
They might be onantidepressants because of this.
And now you're going oh, haveyou tried breastfeeding?
Bridget (35:09):
and you're like I could strangle you I love when
she said go volunteer, get a job.
Marissa (35:15):
Volunteer get a job.
Bridget (35:19):
Yeah, no, I mean, I agree with her there.
We should not judge others.
Whatever you choose to do, thatis best.
I don't know what's going on inyour personal life or medical
issues, and it's not my place tobe honest, and you do, you.
Marissa (35:34):
Yeah, completely agree.
Before we sign off, I have onemore anecdote.
You do you?
Yeah, completely agree.
Before we sign off, I have onemore anecdote.
So I had a woman on the wardwho, like we, thought I can't.
I think she had like a bloodclot or something.
So when you are pregnant orbreastfeeding, you don't get the
normal oral tablet that isanti-clots, you get like
injections, and that's becauseyou can't have the Apixaban if
(35:54):
you're pregnant or breastfeeding.
It's dangerous for baby.
So this woman was like she justhad gave birth and I was like,
oh, she is going on theseinjections, blah, blah, blah and
um, I can't even remember thefull context, but basically the
breastfeeding midwife was onthat day and she was like, oh
well, cause the woman was like Iwon't breastfeed, I want the
(36:15):
tablets, I don't want theinjections.
And I said that's fine, you'renot pregnant anymore.
As long as you definitely don'tbreastfeed, you can take the
tablets.
And so I was prescribing themand this breastfeeding midwife
was like, oh so she's just notgoing to breastfeed.
And I was like I counseled her.
She said she doesn't want to,she doesn't want to inject
herself for the next threemonths, she'd rather be, it's
(36:43):
fine.
And she was like, like, so thisis more important than
breastfeeding, and I said hernot dying of a blood clot, yeah,
yeah, I'm sorry, that is moreimportant than her breastfeeding
and like, and it just pissed meoff and it put me in such a
mood because I was just like I'msorry, I know you're the infant
feeding midwife and you thinkit's so important, but like, at
the end of the day, we'retreating her blood clot and her
baby will be fed with formula,so everybody wins.
Yeah, see, for me that's goingtoo far.
That woman went too far toassume like that was more
important, and that's where Ifeel like people are pushing
(37:05):
their own opinions and agendas,and then I get annoyed that I'm
like okay stop, please.
Yeah, it really pissed me off,put me in such a sour mood.
But whatever done with that nowI just feel like I would leave
you all on that note leave youall angered and pissed off at
this stranger.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, it's been a pleasure,guys, as always, please like,
(37:27):
subscribe, follow us on youtubeat psychotic py podcast um, it's
the same for instagrampsychotic py podcast.
And thank you, as always, forlistening in and being so
patient with us, as we do adjustand have some weeks off due to
our schedules.
Or, like I said, bridget cominghere, which will be great
because then we can start doingthe video podcasting for you
guys super excited.
(37:47):
But really, until she gets here, it's going to be an adjustment
and then, even when she givesbirth, it will probably be
another adjustment.
So, thank you for alwaysbearing with us and being such
great followers.
We love, love you all.
Yes, we absolutely do.
Let us know what you thinkabout breastfeeding.
If you have any funny stories,if you were a formula baby, let
us know.
Please, honestly like give ussome comments on Instagram or on
YouTube and we will incorporateyour stories next week or in
(38:09):
two weeks.
Yes, Love you guys.
Bye.
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