July 17, 2025 • 32 mins
What if mothers had a retreat designed exclusively for them, where every detail was handled, where experts helped them reconnect with themselves, and where they could form genuine connections with other women navigating the same journey? That's exactly what therapist, Marissa Volinsky, has created with Off-Duty: A Mom's Retreat, a revolutionary retreat launching April 2026 in Stone Harbor, New Jersey.
Motherhood, despite its many joys, can be profoundly isolating. Even surrounded by family and friends, mothers often struggle with their identity beyond being "mom," battling body image concerns, feeling overwhelmed, and experiencing relentless guilt whenever they prioritize themselves. Off-Duty addresses these universal challenges through a carefully curated experience combining professional guidance with genuine relaxation.
Unlike family vacations (which Marissa aptly describes as "parenting in a different destination"), this retreat allows mothers to temporarily step away from responsibilities and rediscover themselves. With workshops led by a licensed therapist, a pelvic floor specialist, and a registered dietitian, participants receive valuable tools for sustainable self-care. The intimate setting—limited to just 12 women—fosters meaningful connections, creating what Marissa calls a "village sisterhood" where vulnerable conversations flow naturally and lasting friendships form.
The retreat's coastal location at The Reeds provides the perfect backdrop for activities ranging from yoga and sunset cruises to spa treatments and empowering group ceremonies. Every detail is meticulously planned, allowing participants to simply show up and be present—perhaps the greatest luxury for someone accustomed to managing everyone else's needs.
Ready to fill your cup and return to your family as a more grounded, present version of yourself? Follow @off_duty_mom_retreats on Instagram or visit offdutyretreats.com to secure your spot. Early registrants receive $200 off, but spaces are limited and filling quickly. Remember: taking time for yourself isn't selfish —it's essential.
Disclaimer: This podcast represents the opinions of Dr. Bridget Melton, MD and licensed therapist Marissa Volinsky, MS, LPC, NCC. The contents of our podcast and website should not be taken as medical advice. The contents of our podcast and website are for general informational purposes only, and are not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any condition or disease or substitute for medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental health professional, or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before starting or discontinuing treatment.
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a crisis, please reach out immediately to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741. These services are free and confidential.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Hello and welcome to Psychotic PY Podcast.
That's our intro song for today, because we still don't have
one and we probably never will.
Welcome guys.
Psychotic PY, Season 3, Episode7.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Woo, I can't believe we made it here.
I mean because there's only 10episodes a season.
That's crazy.
No, season 7, I mean.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Season 3.'s.
Only 10 episodes a season.
That's crazy.
I know Season seven I meanseason three.
If we make it there, seasonthree is coming to a close.
We are in the fourth quarternow.
But yeah, welcome guys.
Thanks for tuning in.
You're here with Bridget andMarissa, your girls.
So today we are chit-chattingabout Marissa's new business
(00:44):
venture.
She's going to dive in and giveus a full intro and we're just
going to chit-chat about thatand a bit about mom guilt and,
yeah, we're really, reallyexcited to plug this.
You've definitely seen it onour socials, so sorry.
So, yeah, marissa, let's diveeffing in.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Okay, well, I obviously, as you know, am owner
of of New Path Therapy and I dowork primarily with a lot of
women and mothers, and I've,honestly, as a mother myself too
, have also been feeling thisway.
I feel like mothers do it allright, we're constantly juggling
, or everything for the family,and even though, as generations
go on, I would say we aremarried to better partners, in a
sense that dads are moreproactive and helpful, it still
doesn't really take away how wefeel when it comes to
(01:30):
overstimulation, mom guilt,stressed out, struggling with
our identity outside of mom.
Like who were we?
Like just wanting to feel likeher again, also feeling
comfortable in our now mom bods,as they'll call them right,
like hard, hard Wait, I have amajor interruption.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Okay, sorry this is so off track, but I was walking
with Theo today because it'sfinally like hot here Not even
hot, sunny and 75.
But you know good enough.
So I was walking in my littlelike squirty athletic outfit.
You know, mom has a matchingone.
I'm showing my sister right nowhere.
Mom has a matching one.
I'm showing my sister right nowhere the spandex.
(02:08):
Um, and I was just, yeah, hadthat, my sweater over my
shoulders, walking back pushinga stroller, like obviously have
a kid, and I got cat calledtoday and I was like we are back
who was it by, though?
like a construction worker oldboys, two old guys in a car Did
a little beep, beep.
So I was like, oh, it must belike a Melton.
Like you know, they all livenear me.
(02:28):
So I turned around likeprepared to wave and then it was
just like old, like late 60smaybe, like in a car and they're
like yeah.
And I was like, oh, my God,that is so funny.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Oh, my God, that is funny.
Ted's going to lock you up now,now that he hears this.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Immediately texted.
Ted, I was like we are so back?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Well, yes, obviously it's.
It's a struggle.
You know, your body isdifferent after giving birth,
Doesn't matter how many timesyou do it, or even if it's just
once, or even if you're someonewho has been struggling and you
you've lost a child it's, you'restill going through changes has
been struggling and you've losta child.
You're still going throughchanges.
So I just felt like it was timeto expand the horizons and I
have created Off Duty, a mom'sretreat, and I'm really excited
(03:15):
for its potential.
It's going to be next April,April 24th to the 27th, 2026, in
Stone Harbor, New Jersey, atthe Reeds in Shelter Haven 27th
uh 2026 in Stone Harbor, newJersey, at the Reeds in Shelter
Haven.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Okay, so Marissa, tell us about off-duty, like
what is its mission statement?
What's its goal?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Like what do you visualize for off-duty?
A mom's retreat?
So I visualize having thatvillage sisterhood that I feel
like a lot of moms lack.
Motherhood is extremelyisolating At least it was for me
and it's weird becauseobviously, as you can attest, I
have a large family, I have agood group of friends, but yet
motherhood is still isolating,and I couldn't explain why.
(03:54):
My hormones were obviouslytrying to level out too, and
that played a part in myemotions, and I just want to be
there for those women the waythat I wish someone was there
for me.
What makes this special, thoughbecause it's not just a vacation
and a sisterhood right is thatI'm bringing in experts so that
(04:14):
these women can be properlycared for and can receive these
services that maybe otherwisethey wouldn't get.
For instance, obviously I am alicensed therapist, and you're
going to get two workshops withme.
I have my best friend, kimberlySanta-Serma, who is a certified
coach for postnatal andperinatal support for your core
and pelvic floor, and I feellike that's also not talked
(04:36):
about enough and super importantfor mothers.
And then I just actually bookedtoday Annie Zapula, who is a
registered dietitian, and she'sgoing to talk about you know,
how you can nourish your souland not put you last because
mothers are always on the go.
Right, you're making sureeveryone else has their
vegetables and their three mealsa day, plus snacks, but you
(04:56):
forget about yourself and thatmay affect the way you feel
about yourself.
Like, are you gaining weight,you know?
Are you dieting but you'replateauing?
Do you just feel bloated andgross?
So she's going to really justcome in and explain what's the
best way to take care of you.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Amazing.
I love the entire ethos thatyou're trying to put forward
here.
You know, when you were sittingone day thinking about what you
needed, how did a retreat popinto your head?
Speaker 1 (05:25):
I was thinking, god, I need a damn vacation.
I was like, god damn, mamaneeds alone time with some wine.
I want to nap somewhere withoutpeople napping on me.
I want to pee alone.
I want a nice warm showerwithout like.
I feel like when I shower now,even though my kids are older so
it's a little better.
But when they were younger theywould come up, tap on the glass
and it's cute, don't get mewrong Adorable, my heart melted,
(05:47):
but at the same time it made mefeel rushed, like I wasn't
doing like my full shower whereI feel great.
Um, you know, there were somany times mama bear let her
hair on her legs grow way toolong, you know.
Um, so I, I just was likewhatever I just got to get out.
My kids want me and it's notrelaxing at this point.
So I'm really looking forwardto showering in peace.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yes, oh, my God.
Uh, I totally understand therush shower thing.
It feels really good, like ifthey're dead to sleep.
You're like, oh, I'm going todo a full shower.
It's still in the back of yourmind, you're not.
You're like I gotta go, gottago, gotta go, because once he's
awake, then I have to do ABC.
So it's like you have to trulybe like in another building.
You know what I mean.
Like if Ted has Theo elsewhere,then you can like do what you
(06:36):
want, and that's very rare.
I feel like I don't know.
I agree.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Also, and also, what gave me this idea too, is I
always noticed that I feel mybest when I'm like with my best
friend, kimmy, and like I'll gothere for a weekend or she'll
come with me and our husbandswill make it so that when we're
hanging out it's kid free.
And we're just enjoying, youknow, a fire pit wine, some
charcuterie, just having thatliterally soul grounding, deep
conversations where we stay uplate, like we used to in college
and high school.
And I remember when I createdthis.
I'm just thinking like I needthat feeling.
(07:10):
I want that feeling for thesemothers, but with also self-care
and professional workshops, youknow, with led by professionals
.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
So let's dive into that.
What can we expect from theitinerary?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
So the itinerary has many things on it, so obviously
the three professionals me beingone of them that I just
mentioned, there's yoga.
There's, if weather dependent,will be a sunset cruise with
cocktails.
If the weather does notcooperate, it will either be a
candle making class or paintingand wine.
We have our celebratory dinnerat the end, which will be wine
(07:42):
and beer paired with differentcourses.
We have a fire pit openingceremony, which will be I don't
want to give too much away it'svery empowering.
We could have nature hikes.
We can have spa services likefacials and massages, just stuff
like that.
We're having a girl's lunch oneday, which is a charcuterie
(08:04):
making class paired with wine.
Just honestly, I'm so excitedabout this and there's honestly
more that I'm forgetting, butit's all on the website, of
course.
Offdutyretreatscom.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
It kind of sounds like the ultimate girls' trip,
hanging out without the pressureof a batch.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yes, yes, absolutely, absolutely, because I would say
a bachelorette, they're fun,right, but it's really for the
bride.
You're still taking a backseatand it's like what the bride's
feeling, and at any moment, ifthe bride wants to change the
itinerary because she's notfeeling up for it, you know the
rest of the party has to be likeokay, this is your trip, but
this, this is different.
This is about you.
Everyone is the bride hereeveryone is the bride here.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Oh, I love that.
Oh, everyone's the bride.
Another thing that I'm gettingthis vibe is, like because the
best thing about kids this isgonna make me sound really bad.
It's like, you know, whenthey're asleep for like a long
time and you miss them again.
Yes, you're like well, I missyou.
The best thing about kids, like,is when you're like I like to
talk about them and I like tolook at photos of them, but I
don't always want to be on, Idon't always want to be mommy,
mommy, mommy.
So it kind of is like you'rehanging out with other moms to
(09:10):
obviously your kids will come upguilt-free, because you know
you don't always want to talkabout your kids.
If you're hanging out withchildless friends because you're
like I'm sorry, I don't want tobe annoying.
So it's everyone can like kindof guilt-free, talk about their
kids, because it's like we'reall doing it, we're all obsessed
with our kids, but they'renowhere effing near you.
So you also have like thefreedom of like remember, like
(09:31):
just being in high school andcollege and like doing whatever
the heck you wanted with yourtime.
Yes, that's amazing.
I have not done that in so longbecause I can't do that with my
time.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yeah, Honestly, when you get to my stage with age
range, you get to do more ofthat.
And what I will tell you, it isjust so refreshing and
grounding and, like now that Ican, I don't think I could go
back.
So that's why I feel like thisis important for all women.
They need to experience that.
They need to really come backto their family, feel more whole
(10:04):
, more present and, like youknow, they can rock this
motherhood thing Like they'renot burned out.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yes, okay, tell me about Stone Harbor, new Jersey.
Like what's the vibe?
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Are we near the beach ?
What can I expect?
So the Reeds is a actually verybeautiful boutique hotel with
no more than 52 rooms.
Um, and it's, yes, it's on, uh,a beach location.
It's an uh, did I say weddingplace.
No no, it's also a weddingvenue.
It's so beautiful, um, and it'svery coastal, like coastal
grandma vibes, I love it Ooh,nancy Meyers.
Love that.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Where the heck is good when the heck is.
Stone Harbor Nancy Meyers Lovethat when the heck is good when
the heck is Stone Harbor?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
It's I believe I looked this up, obviously, when
I booked it 22 minutes north ofCape May.
Ooh, okay, so not too far.
No, no, not at all.
So even if you get some timeeven longer away, you tell your
husbands it's an extra day thanit really is.
You and the girls can go hit upCape May after the retreat if
you want know or atlantic cityon the way up north yeah, let's
(11:07):
do a little gambling, why not?
Speaker 2 (11:11):
very nice.
Okay, love this.
The location sounds amazing.
Also, it's when is it againapril 24th to the 27th 2026 okay
.
So we're talking late aprilvibes.
The weather might be amazing,like it was this year, and even
if it isn't, you get to justkind of like walk the beach in
your sweater, your coastalgrandma sweater, read a book.
(11:31):
Is it going to be fullystructured or will people have
time to chill out and dowhatever they want?
Both?
Speaker 1 (11:38):
So what I mean by that is I do have a lot planned,
but I have like unplugged hoursand moments of silence with
journaling that you can taketime to yourself.
Or if you end up getting abuddy on the retreat, like
everything that the retreatincludes, like bicycles and
stuff like that kayaks, it's allincluded so you and your buddy
can go off and do that if youwant.
Like this, there's no ruleswhen you invest this time of you
(12:02):
know, energy, money and time.
I'm not going to micromanagehow you enjoy this trip, but I
do have some structure, becauseI also don't want people coming
and being like I feel likethere's no community.
What am I paying for?
So I will structure it for thecommunity and have a lot of
times where we get the groupstogether and just have good
prompts and opening icebreakers,but absolutely you have moments
(12:25):
of peace to yourself.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Amazing.
Will there be surprises alongthe way?
Ie swag bags.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Yes, so I don't want to give away too much, but
you'll see it if you follow ourInstagram at offdutymomretreats.
There's a few underscores there.
I'll tell you at the end how tocorrectly find it, but I have
them coming now so I can't waitto upload it to our Instagram,
cause I want to give a sneakpeek of the swag boxes.
I'll call them, cause that'swhat they are.
Um, bridget, I showed youbefore.
(12:55):
I know you were like give meone of those bitch.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
I'm really excited to give them to the ladies.
Amazing, um.
And what are you most excitedfor?
Because this is your first timeleading a retreat isn't it?
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yes, a retreat of this nature.
Yes, I'm excited because I amtrying to expand what I do
professionally and I want tomake a difference.
That's the biggest thing, and Ifeel like this speaks to me on
a very personal level, and thisis how I'm going to give back,
love this.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
I'm so in, I want to be there so badly.
You should come.
I know I'm trying to make, Ineed to make that work.
That's going to have to be likemy April thing, yeah, if I
don't have any weddings at thattime because I'm like peak
wedding age, but okay, so let'sjust like is there anything else
you want to tell us about offduty?
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Um, well, I am trying to keep every retreat I do um
limited availability in a sense,because if I do too many girls
it's just too much.
So I do want everyone to knowthat spots are limited.
I'm only taking 12 girls aretreat and, um, there's not
that many spots left.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
So if you're interested, get on that and is
there early bird pricing?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yes, you get $200 off if you sign up in advance.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
That sounds amazing and remind us of the dates again
.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
April 24th to the 27th 2026.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Perfecto, everyone get there off duty.
A mom's retreat and it soundslike, honestly, the best
vacation you could ask for andsomeone's planned it for you,
which, let's be honest, issomething a mom does not want to
do in their free time.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yes, well, I think that's the best part about this
is, everything is planned.
As long as all you do is youknow, pay for it.
You're, you're, you're good.
I will make sure everything isplanned out to a T, perfectly
curated for you.
You just have to show up.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
God, I love that.
Let's talk about this mom guilt, Because you were telling
before we started recording.
You were saying that somepeople feel that they definitely
want to want to retreat, butthey just feel like they can't
take that time away from theirfamily.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yes, so it's.
I understand there is a commontheme that when people you know
kind of look at the pricing andeverything, they're like that's
great.
I can't believe that's allincluded, but I could spend that
kind of money for a trip awaywith my husband or a family
invitation and I feel guiltyspending that money on just
myself.
I completely understand thatand I even feel that way from
(15:28):
time to time.
I want everyone to know that asa normal emotion and reaction.
But what you need to know isthis Okay, this is just for you
and it's important.
This time is invaluable and itwill make you a better mother.
I'm more present, bettergrounded, relaxed, calmer person
(15:52):
and it may feel like a bitselfish, but you're a mom and
you're going to feel that way,but it isn't and it's no
different than guys spendinglike a whole day away golfing
for, like, I know it's supposedto be 18 holes but it really
feels like 35.
So you know what they.
They're on top of theirself-care game.
They know a day away keeps theI don't know something away.
(16:17):
It's just.
It makes you a better personwhen you, I always like to say
it's like the plain mass, oxygenmass situation.
You can't help other peoplewithout helping yourself first.
It really does fill yourbattery, fill your cup and make
you a better mother.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Yeah, I was just going to say it's just like
filling your cup.
If you are on vacation withyour family, that's amazing, but
part of that is actually asacrifice.
You're going to enjoy a lot ofit, of course, and the memories
you make with either yourhusband or your children, or
both.
You're not going to regret themI'm not saying you will, but
(16:54):
you might come home exhaustedand now you're thinking, oh my
God, all the kids' clothing isdirty, all my husband's sweaty
T-shirts.
It's just like it's not fillingyour cup.
As great as vacations are forfamily bonding, they're kind of
like a necessary evil, likeyou're still parenting, just not
(17:14):
at home.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
I always say family vacations are parenting in a
different destination.
That's not a vacation, At leastwhen you have young kids, like
I get.
Maybe when they're teenagersthat's different.
But you and I are at the stagewhere you still pack and unpack
everything and lotion everybodyup every day, make sure they're
getting their healthy meals.
It's, it's.
It's a coordinating from hell,Like it's so much work.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
I mean even day trips .
I'm at the stage like I onlyhave one.
But like a day trip, Igenuinely am like, okay, what do
I need to pack in this diaperbag?
Like A through Z, likeeverything I need to pack and
the contingency plans.
Like A through Z, likeeverything I need to pack and
the contingency plans, the food,everything.
And I'm like, wow, I cannotimagine doing this Like, and
(17:54):
Theo eats off our table, butit's just like it's so much you
have to pack.
So, yeah, anyone who feelsguilty like, oh, I could be
spending this time with myfamily, you absolutely can and
you should.
But to make memories with yourfamily, you don't have to go
away.
You know what I mean.
If you're thinking like it'sone or the other, if you have
young kids like they're justhappy to spend time with you, oh
(18:16):
yeah, you're their best friend.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, also, since you were talking about
the chaotic nature of packingthey do they do this, as you
just have to pack for yourself.
You don't have to worry aboutyour husband forgetting his
underwear, his toothbrush, whatyour kids need no diapers, no
formula just yourself.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Oh my God, I would love to pack for myself.
That sounds so good.
Oh my God, ted and I have awedding this weekend and
obviously Theo's not going andthe wedding is a little
overnight away and I am liketotally confused.
I'm like am I just going tolike wake up and like not have
to worry about Theo?
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yep, that's exactly what's going to happen, although
that's when you'll scroll hisvideos and photos and be like I
miss him.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
I know I'm actually like kind of nervous.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
It's fine, everything will be fine, and so will moms
who go on this retreat.
Yeah, everyone, it's yeah, justlike you guys should fill your
cup.
I'm filling mine this weekend,absolutely, it's needed.
I mean, honestly, anytime Ispend away with you, mom, my
best friends, even just it feelslike, like you said, like, even
if it's a day thing, Iliterally feel so much better.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Yeah, it's, it's good when you have that like oh, I
miss them again moment, becausethat's when you know you're not
totally overstimulated whenyou're with them all day, every
day.
Let's say you have kids who area bit too young for like
daycare or something like that.
You're still doing like a bitof a hybrid schedule.
Wow, I know you pray forbedtime.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
You do, which I feel guilty in that, but then at the
same time I'm like no, nevermind.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Go to bed?
Definitely so, mom.
Guilt is unavoidable, but thebest way to cure that is to look
after yourselves Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
And just remember, dads don't get that shit oh my
God, do you think they don't?
I mean'm obviously, I'm surethey do, but it's just more
common that they'll do boystrips, bachelor parties, golf
days without you know.
I mean like all that adds up ifyou think about it and they
don't hesitate at all.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Um, ted actually just went to france uh, it's just a
weekend trip, so we didn't havehim for like two or three days.
Um, but booking it, uh, leadingthis was many, many months ago.
His friend, tom, like wasbooking it with him and I was
like, okay, so like I'm soloparenting for a weekend, like
I'm not happy, and his friendwas like he deserves it.
(20:38):
I was like I was like if anyonedeserves a mother effing trick,
it's me.
It drove me crazy, like it'ssomething that really stuck with
me.
This was so many months ago,guys, and like anytime he's
brought up, I'm just like I'mgoing to kill him.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Did you send him a picture of your sore nipples?
Your breasts sucked, nickel.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
No, but I should.
It just really pissed me off.
It's just like not somethingyou should say about the dad.
Unless the dad's a stay-at-homedad, then totally.
But like I'm still on mat leave, so like I'm full-time mommy
all day, every day.
So like I was just so appalled,like you deserve it.
Like, um, okay, that's hard,but you know, see, the dads can
(21:35):
do it, so can the moms.
Yeah, I was like I'm going awayto get even with you.
Um, I'm, I'm going, I'm goingon like a spa weekend or spa day
.
Like just don't even hit me up.
I was like don't, don't ask mequestions.
Um, don't ask me to explainanything.
Like I'm going away and myphone will be on, do not disturb
.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
As you should, queen, she'll be at off duty.
A mom's retreat, exactly yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Catch me at off duty a mom's retreat.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
That'll be another specialist on hand.
Anybody need a guy know whilewe're there giving birth ladies.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
I know, oh my God, there there, there would be so
many questions and now, when Ilike go to weddings, like my
friends see me and ask questions, so there would definitely be,
like so many, never off never.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
So you know what I think?
This is gonna be a revolution,and it's a good one.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
I know, I think so too.
I don't know if there are othermom retreats out there.
I really don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
I obviously did a little bit of research.
There are, but I see a lot ofthem run by just like other moms
, and it's not like they don'thave the experts come in.
So I'm trying to kind ofreinvent the wheel here because
I mean I could do a mom vacationwith it.
I'm like I'm trying to thinklike if I saw that, as fun as
(22:59):
they look, I would just do thatwith my best friends, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Like that wouldn't prompt me to go with these
strangers, just right right,that's true, I would rather go
with my best friends where I'mcomfortable exactly so this
might be this gap in the market.
And you fill it, girl, and youbecome a millionaire.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
It's not really about the money, though, but it's
about care proper care that weshould be getting, but we're not
.
And a village sisterhood.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
But wouldn't it be crazy if, like, in 10 years time
, it's like off duty is likeguys, you should get in on the
ground floor, like what if thisis what if this really explodes
and this becomes like the like,it becomes like synonymous with
motherhood is like, oh yeah,have you gone on off duty Like
such a good retreat and you goall over the world with it.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I, that is my hopes.
I truly hope so.
I I want to do, you know, one ayear.
You know just as I'm starting.
But if they get so popular thatI have to do maybe two a year,
three a year, four a year, I amdown girl.
I will be off duty all the time.
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
What I love your brain.
I don't know how the frick youcame up with this idea, but you
did.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
And in a week you implemented it.
I actually I don't know how mybrain does it either.
I don't know how to explain it,but, like, sometimes I'll
basically think of differentavenues to solve my own problems
and then, because you know me,Bridget mom's always like oh,
marissa has the biggest heart,she's so empathetic, that's why
she's a therapist.
I usually figure out thesolution and then say how can I
give back to everybody else?
I want everybody to feel sogood, just like me freaking
(24:31):
genius thank you, thank you.
So, coming a lot from thedoctor's second overachieving
child, yeah, but I'm not ascreative as you.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
I would not have come up with it.
This is something I would havebeen like, oh, I wish this
exists.
Or like, oh, I wish I couldlike go away with my friends and
have like an amazing time, butit honestly would not have
occurred to me to like createthat.
So I'm imploring you all, allthe listeners out there, like
this might be your chance to getin before this absolutely blows
up, because what I'm hearing isa genius idea and there's
(25:02):
definitely a need in the marketand in motherhood, and I think
it's going to be big.
I really do.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
I truly hope so and I will say you are right in a
sense, like get on the bandwagonnow because, like I said, I
want these to be very personal,small guided retreats, so I
really don't want to take anymore than 12.
Will I maybe bump the number ifit gets so popular, to maybe 15
, 20, maybe, but right now verysmall, village, sisterhood
minded, I don't want it to feellike people are getting lost in
(25:34):
a big group.
You know, I really want peopleto make really good motherhood
friends.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
No, I love that, yeah , Especially if you're like
someone who's overwhelmed orlike you know how we said,
motherhood is very isolating.
So maybe you only have a coupleof friends and you're like I
really don't want to be like ina big group of 20, 30 women
where, like you know, I'm cominghere to like kind of find a bit
of a village and I'm going tobe overwhelmed if it's a bunch
of like you know, like loud inyour face extroverts and then
(26:01):
you just kind of fall to thewayside.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Right, right.
Also for my workshops.
They're going to be obviouslygroups led by me and they're
going to get really personal.
We're going to get someemotions out there and I think
with any group setting too big agroup is too big, it doesn't
work well.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Yeah, yes, definitely .
It's just like you're sharingin front of a group of strangers
.
At that point I think you'd bea bit more timid, yeah, Whereas
you know you're having like awelcome party with only you said
maximum 12 women.
So you might really open up andshare with these women and feel
by the time it's a grouptherapy session, you really know
(26:39):
these women and you're morethan happy to share.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Yeah, yeah, I wanted it to.
I don't know if everyone'sgonna know this, but anyone who
went to a Catholic schoolespecially Monsignor Donovan,
now Donovan Catholic, kairos,kairos Do you know how, even if
we had a big class, they'd breakyou down to no more than five
people, kind of thing?
I wanted Kairos for motherhoodbecause I felt like when I left
Kairos it was such a really goodbonding experience and it
(27:04):
really made me feel good and Iwant that feeling, but for
mothers, yes because you shareand you realize that actually we
all are very, very similar andwe all have massive struggles
and we all have horriblethoughts, we all have intrusive
thoughts and sometimes we letthem win.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
And it's good to just like give a voice to that.
So you're like, oh, I'm notsuper weird, or like a horrible
mom or just a bad person or abad friend, because you know,
sometimes you feel like all ofthose things.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Also just pressure to talk about.
Like I feel like things thataren't talked about right, like,
um, like, if people feel guiltybecause, like they're new,
they're friends who either haveway older kids or no kids at all
, um, you know, when you youfeel guilty, that you don't text
them back right away.
It's like five business days,but you a really good friend
doesn't care, right, you couldpick up whatever, but you still
(27:50):
feel guilty about it.
So, like, let's talk aboutthese things, let's get to the
nitty gritty, let's just makefriends who don't care, right,
because we're all in thistogether.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
All in this together.
And yeah, it is funny, you, youkind of feel like a bad friend
because, yeah, you're just thissounds bad again but like you're
just too busy.
You're too busy for them.
And it's not like you're toobusy to be a friend, but you're
too busy to text and you're toobusy to organize.
So if someone's like, hey, whencan we all get together for
(28:17):
dinner, sometimes you're like Ijust can't like even put my
brain power behind that.
Also, what I have found and Ifeel so guilty is weddings Like
before kids.
That's like you're like, oh, Ihave a wedding this weekend.
You already know what you'rewearing, you know how you're
styling it, you know what hairdolike.
You're like, oh, yeah, yeah,I'm ready to go, I know where it
(28:38):
is.
Like massive flip Guys.
I don't even know the date ofso many weddings.
I have eight weddings this yearand some of them what is it?
The three days, two days beforethe last wedding I went to, I
texted and I was like, is herwedding on a friday or saturday?
And she was like, oh, my god,seriously bridget.
And I was like, when you like,all I could think about was like
(29:01):
getting here and, like I don'tknow, showing up with my kid at
the airport, like that was ityep I mean our thought behind
outfit, hair shoes, date of thewedding.
I was like I know it's thisweekend, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
I mean if it makes you feel any better for our own
brother's wedding.
I have multiple calendarreminders and it's our brother.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
It's just one of those things and it sounds
really bad.
So, like any brides out there,if you're listening and you're
like that's really fuckingoffensive Because like I spent a
whole year and a lot of moneyLike it's no offense to you at
all, I'm not saying your day isnot important, but once you have
a child, like it's just nolonger like the highlight of my
week.
I can't even I'm lookingforward to it.
(29:41):
I want to go, but like I justcan't even think about it until
it is like literally tomorrow,and then I'm like, oh shit, I
need an outfit.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
The mental exhaustion .
Another thing I hope to helpothers through it.
Yeah, if you have to think ofone more thing, you're just,
you're just overboard, you'rejust too much.
And that's another reason whythis has to be a retreat where
you really get away.
It can't be just like aFacebook group or a virtual get
together, because that's justanother thing where you have to
(30:11):
put energy into maybe typingsomething.
You just you're just like no,no, no, no, no.
You need to be away.
You need to be who you werebefore you were a mom, whoever
that may be, and just enjoy.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Love that, love that.
I'm jealous of all you girlieswho are going on it.
Obviously, if I'm free nextApril, I'm definitely going to
pop my freaking head in and sayhello and if I can I'll do
totally like a Q and a session.
But um, I, oh my God, I'm soexcited.
So plug it again.
Marissa, tell us where we canfind all this.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Okay, so the title of my retreat is off duty, a mom's
retreat.
You can go to register atwwwoffdutyretreatscom or you can
follow us on Instagram, whichalso has my website link there.
Okay, hold on.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
She's going to confirm.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Okay, so at our Instagram you can go to off
underscore duty, underscore momunderscore retreats.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Amazing, Sounds incredible.
Everyone go follow, even if youdon't want to go.
But you want to follow alongbecause Merce is going to post
some awesome content as itunfolds.
So go head over to Off-DutyMoms Retreats.
And yeah, I hope we like thisepisode, ladies.
Oh, the answers are back.
For should Merce throw a momrager and a hundred percent said
(31:30):
yes?
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Okay, so also, I was was gonna say something about
that.
That also is what got my braingoing.
Instead, I I took the momranger wow, mom rager to a next
level.
But this is this what came fromthat question see guys.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Oh my god.
Just a week ago we're talkingabout mom ragers and she booked
a whole vacation for you fuckers.
I'm raging bitch, yeah, oh mygod.
Oh wait, think about getting,oh, as drunk as you want,
because the next day you don'thave to wake up early to a child
screaming.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Also alcohol's included.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Oh my God, guys, she is spoiling you.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
So even if the dates don't work for you or it's just
not something you could swing,if you guys just follow along
and share my stuff, that'sthat's a big enough help.
I appreciate that as well.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Yes, amazing Off-duty mom retreats.
Everyone go check it out andthank you so much for joining us
for season three.
You want out of off duty like?
Tell us what you expect to findyourself, your peace, your
(32:42):
center, whatever, let us know.
Yes, take care.
Bye.
Hello and welcome to Psychotic PY Podcast.
That's our intro song for today, because we still don't have
one and we probably never will.
Welcome guys.
Psychotic PY, Season 3, Episode7.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Woo, I can't believe we made it here.
I mean because there's only 10episodes a season.
That's crazy.
No, season 7, I mean.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Season 3.'s.
Only 10 episodes a season.
That's crazy.
I know Season seven I meanseason three.
If we make it there, seasonthree is coming to a close.
We are in the fourth quarternow.
But yeah, welcome guys.
Thanks for tuning in.
You're here with Bridget andMarissa, your girls.
So today we are chit-chattingabout Marissa's new business
(00:44):
venture.
She's going to dive in and giveus a full intro and we're just
going to chit-chat about thatand a bit about mom guilt and,
yeah, we're really, reallyexcited to plug this.
You've definitely seen it onour socials, so sorry.
So, yeah, marissa, let's diveeffing in.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Okay, well, I obviously, as you know, am owner
of of New Path Therapy and I dowork primarily with a lot of
women and mothers, and I've,honestly, as a mother myself too
, have also been feeling thisway.
I feel like mothers do it allright, we're constantly juggling
, or everything for the family,and even though, as generations
go on, I would say we aremarried to better partners, in a
sense that dads are moreproactive and helpful, it still
doesn't really take away how wefeel when it comes to
(01:30):
overstimulation, mom guilt,stressed out, struggling with
our identity outside of mom.
Like who were we?
Like just wanting to feel likeher again, also feeling
comfortable in our now mom bods,as they'll call them right,
like hard, hard Wait, I have amajor interruption.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Okay, sorry this is so off track, but I was walking
with Theo today because it'sfinally like hot here Not even
hot, sunny and 75.
But you know good enough.
So I was walking in my littlelike squirty athletic outfit.
You know, mom has a matchingone.
I'm showing my sister right nowhere.
Mom has a matching one.
I'm showing my sister right nowhere the spandex.
(02:08):
Um, and I was just, yeah, hadthat, my sweater over my
shoulders, walking back pushinga stroller, like obviously have
a kid, and I got cat calledtoday and I was like we are back
who was it by, though?
like a construction worker oldboys, two old guys in a car Did
a little beep, beep.
So I was like, oh, it must belike a Melton.
Like you know, they all livenear me.
(02:28):
So I turned around likeprepared to wave and then it was
just like old, like late 60smaybe, like in a car and they're
like yeah.
And I was like, oh, my God,that is so funny.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Oh, my God, that is funny.
Ted's going to lock you up now,now that he hears this.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Immediately texted.
Ted, I was like we are so back?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Well, yes, obviously it's.
It's a struggle.
You know, your body isdifferent after giving birth,
Doesn't matter how many timesyou do it, or even if it's just
once, or even if you're someonewho has been struggling and you
you've lost a child it's, you'restill going through changes has
been struggling and you've losta child.
You're still going throughchanges.
So I just felt like it was timeto expand the horizons and I
have created Off Duty, a mom'sretreat, and I'm really excited
(03:15):
for its potential.
It's going to be next April,April 24th to the 27th, 2026, in
Stone Harbor, New Jersey, atthe Reeds in Shelter Haven 27th
uh 2026 in Stone Harbor, newJersey, at the Reeds in Shelter
Haven.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Okay, so Marissa, tell us about off-duty, like
what is its mission statement?
What's its goal?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Like what do you visualize for off-duty?
A mom's retreat?
So I visualize having thatvillage sisterhood that I feel
like a lot of moms lack.
Motherhood is extremelyisolating At least it was for me
and it's weird becauseobviously, as you can attest, I
have a large family, I have agood group of friends, but yet
motherhood is still isolating,and I couldn't explain why.
(03:54):
My hormones were obviouslytrying to level out too, and
that played a part in myemotions, and I just want to be
there for those women the waythat I wish someone was there
for me.
What makes this special, thoughbecause it's not just a vacation
and a sisterhood right is thatI'm bringing in experts so that
(04:14):
these women can be properlycared for and can receive these
services that maybe otherwisethey wouldn't get.
For instance, obviously I am alicensed therapist, and you're
going to get two workshops withme.
I have my best friend, kimberlySanta-Serma, who is a certified
coach for postnatal andperinatal support for your core
and pelvic floor, and I feellike that's also not talked
(04:36):
about enough and super importantfor mothers.
And then I just actually bookedtoday Annie Zapula, who is a
registered dietitian, and she'sgoing to talk about you know,
how you can nourish your souland not put you last because
mothers are always on the go.
Right, you're making sureeveryone else has their
vegetables and their three mealsa day, plus snacks, but you
(04:56):
forget about yourself and thatmay affect the way you feel
about yourself.
Like, are you gaining weight,you know?
Are you dieting but you'replateauing?
Do you just feel bloated andgross?
So she's going to really justcome in and explain what's the
best way to take care of you.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Amazing.
I love the entire ethos thatyou're trying to put forward
here.
You know, when you were sittingone day thinking about what you
needed, how did a retreat popinto your head?
Speaker 1 (05:25):
I was thinking, god, I need a damn vacation.
I was like, god damn, mamaneeds alone time with some wine.
I want to nap somewhere withoutpeople napping on me.
I want to pee alone.
I want a nice warm showerwithout like.
I feel like when I shower now,even though my kids are older so
it's a little better.
But when they were younger theywould come up, tap on the glass
and it's cute, don't get mewrong Adorable, my heart melted,
(05:47):
but at the same time it made mefeel rushed, like I wasn't
doing like my full shower whereI feel great.
Um, you know, there were somany times mama bear let her
hair on her legs grow way toolong, you know.
Um, so I, I just was likewhatever I just got to get out.
My kids want me and it's notrelaxing at this point.
So I'm really looking forwardto showering in peace.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yes, oh, my God.
Uh, I totally understand therush shower thing.
It feels really good, like ifthey're dead to sleep.
You're like, oh, I'm going todo a full shower.
It's still in the back of yourmind, you're not.
You're like I gotta go, gottago, gotta go, because once he's
awake, then I have to do ABC.
So it's like you have to trulybe like in another building.
You know what I mean.
Like if Ted has Theo elsewhere,then you can like do what you
(06:36):
want, and that's very rare.
I feel like I don't know.
I agree.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Also, and also, what gave me this idea too, is I
always noticed that I feel mybest when I'm like with my best
friend, kimmy, and like I'll gothere for a weekend or she'll
come with me and our husbandswill make it so that when we're
hanging out it's kid free.
And we're just enjoying, youknow, a fire pit wine, some
charcuterie, just having thatliterally soul grounding, deep
conversations where we stay uplate, like we used to in college
and high school.
And I remember when I createdthis.
I'm just thinking like I needthat feeling.
(07:10):
I want that feeling for thesemothers, but with also self-care
and professional workshops, youknow, with led by professionals
.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
So let's dive into that.
What can we expect from theitinerary?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
So the itinerary has many things on it, so obviously
the three professionals me beingone of them that I just
mentioned, there's yoga.
There's, if weather dependent,will be a sunset cruise with
cocktails.
If the weather does notcooperate, it will either be a
candle making class or paintingand wine.
We have our celebratory dinnerat the end, which will be wine
(07:42):
and beer paired with differentcourses.
We have a fire pit openingceremony, which will be I don't
want to give too much away it'svery empowering.
We could have nature hikes.
We can have spa services likefacials and massages, just stuff
like that.
We're having a girl's lunch oneday, which is a charcuterie
(08:04):
making class paired with wine.
Just honestly, I'm so excitedabout this and there's honestly
more that I'm forgetting, butit's all on the website, of
course.
Offdutyretreatscom.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
It kind of sounds like the ultimate girls' trip,
hanging out without the pressureof a batch.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yes, yes, absolutely, absolutely, because I would say
a bachelorette, they're fun,right, but it's really for the
bride.
You're still taking a backseatand it's like what the bride's
feeling, and at any moment, ifthe bride wants to change the
itinerary because she's notfeeling up for it, you know the
rest of the party has to be likeokay, this is your trip, but
this, this is different.
This is about you.
Everyone is the bride hereeveryone is the bride here.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Oh, I love that.
Oh, everyone's the bride.
Another thing that I'm gettingthis vibe is, like because the
best thing about kids this isgonna make me sound really bad.
It's like, you know, whenthey're asleep for like a long
time and you miss them again.
Yes, you're like well, I missyou.
The best thing about kids, like,is when you're like I like to
talk about them and I like tolook at photos of them, but I
don't always want to be on, Idon't always want to be mommy,
mommy, mommy.
So it kind of is like you'rehanging out with other moms to
(09:10):
obviously your kids will come upguilt-free, because you know
you don't always want to talkabout your kids.
If you're hanging out withchildless friends because you're
like I'm sorry, I don't want tobe annoying.
So it's everyone can like kindof guilt-free, talk about their
kids, because it's like we'reall doing it, we're all obsessed
with our kids, but they'renowhere effing near you.
So you also have like thefreedom of like remember, like
(09:31):
just being in high school andcollege and like doing whatever
the heck you wanted with yourtime.
Yes, that's amazing.
I have not done that in so longbecause I can't do that with my
time.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yeah, Honestly, when you get to my stage with age
range, you get to do more ofthat.
And what I will tell you, it isjust so refreshing and
grounding and, like now that Ican, I don't think I could go
back.
So that's why I feel like thisis important for all women.
They need to experience that.
They need to really come backto their family, feel more whole
(10:04):
, more present and, like youknow, they can rock this
motherhood thing Like they'renot burned out.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yes, okay, tell me about Stone Harbor, new Jersey.
Like what's the vibe?
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Are we near the beach ?
What can I expect?
So the Reeds is a actually verybeautiful boutique hotel with
no more than 52 rooms.
Um, and it's, yes, it's on, uh,a beach location.
It's an uh, did I say weddingplace.
No no, it's also a weddingvenue.
It's so beautiful, um, and it'svery coastal, like coastal
grandma vibes, I love it Ooh,nancy Meyers.
Love that.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Where the heck is good when the heck is.
Stone Harbor Nancy Meyers Lovethat when the heck is good when
the heck is Stone Harbor?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
It's I believe I looked this up, obviously, when
I booked it 22 minutes north ofCape May.
Ooh, okay, so not too far.
No, no, not at all.
So even if you get some timeeven longer away, you tell your
husbands it's an extra day thanit really is.
You and the girls can go hit upCape May after the retreat if
you want know or atlantic cityon the way up north yeah, let's
(11:07):
do a little gambling, why not?
Speaker 2 (11:11):
very nice.
Okay, love this.
The location sounds amazing.
Also, it's when is it againapril 24th to the 27th 2026 okay
.
So we're talking late aprilvibes.
The weather might be amazing,like it was this year, and even
if it isn't, you get to justkind of like walk the beach in
your sweater, your coastalgrandma sweater, read a book.
(11:31):
Is it going to be fullystructured or will people have
time to chill out and dowhatever they want?
Both?
Speaker 1 (11:38):
So what I mean by that is I do have a lot planned,
but I have like unplugged hoursand moments of silence with
journaling that you can taketime to yourself.
Or if you end up getting abuddy on the retreat, like
everything that the retreatincludes, like bicycles and
stuff like that kayaks, it's allincluded so you and your buddy
can go off and do that if youwant.
Like this, there's no ruleswhen you invest this time of you
(12:02):
know, energy, money and time.
I'm not going to micromanagehow you enjoy this trip, but I
do have some structure, becauseI also don't want people coming
and being like I feel likethere's no community.
What am I paying for?
So I will structure it for thecommunity and have a lot of
times where we get the groupstogether and just have good
prompts and opening icebreakers,but absolutely you have moments
(12:25):
of peace to yourself.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Amazing.
Will there be surprises alongthe way?
Ie swag bags.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Yes, so I don't want to give away too much, but
you'll see it if you follow ourInstagram at offdutymomretreats.
There's a few underscores there.
I'll tell you at the end how tocorrectly find it, but I have
them coming now so I can't waitto upload it to our Instagram,
cause I want to give a sneakpeek of the swag boxes.
I'll call them, cause that'swhat they are.
Um, bridget, I showed youbefore.
(12:55):
I know you were like give meone of those bitch.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
I'm really excited to give them to the ladies.
Amazing, um.
And what are you most excitedfor?
Because this is your first timeleading a retreat isn't it?
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yes, a retreat of this nature.
Yes, I'm excited because I amtrying to expand what I do
professionally and I want tomake a difference.
That's the biggest thing, and Ifeel like this speaks to me on
a very personal level, and thisis how I'm going to give back,
love this.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
I'm so in, I want to be there so badly.
You should come.
I know I'm trying to make, Ineed to make that work.
That's going to have to be likemy April thing, yeah, if I
don't have any weddings at thattime because I'm like peak
wedding age, but okay, so let'sjust like is there anything else
you want to tell us about offduty?
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Um, well, I am trying to keep every retreat I do um
limited availability in a sense,because if I do too many girls
it's just too much.
So I do want everyone to knowthat spots are limited.
I'm only taking 12 girls aretreat and, um, there's not
that many spots left.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
So if you're interested, get on that and is
there early bird pricing?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yes, you get $200 off if you sign up in advance.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
That sounds amazing and remind us of the dates again
.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
April 24th to the 27th 2026.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Perfecto, everyone get there off duty.
A mom's retreat and it soundslike, honestly, the best
vacation you could ask for andsomeone's planned it for you,
which, let's be honest, issomething a mom does not want to
do in their free time.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yes, well, I think that's the best part about this
is, everything is planned.
As long as all you do is youknow, pay for it.
You're, you're, you're good.
I will make sure everything isplanned out to a T, perfectly
curated for you.
You just have to show up.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
God, I love that.
Let's talk about this mom guilt, Because you were telling
before we started recording.
You were saying that somepeople feel that they definitely
want to want to retreat, butthey just feel like they can't
take that time away from theirfamily.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yes, so it's.
I understand there is a commontheme that when people you know
kind of look at the pricing andeverything, they're like that's
great.
I can't believe that's allincluded, but I could spend that
kind of money for a trip awaywith my husband or a family
invitation and I feel guiltyspending that money on just
myself.
I completely understand thatand I even feel that way from
(15:28):
time to time.
I want everyone to know that asa normal emotion and reaction.
But what you need to know isthis Okay, this is just for you
and it's important.
This time is invaluable and itwill make you a better mother.
I'm more present, bettergrounded, relaxed, calmer person
(15:52):
and it may feel like a bitselfish, but you're a mom and
you're going to feel that way,but it isn't and it's no
different than guys spendinglike a whole day away golfing
for, like, I know it's supposedto be 18 holes but it really
feels like 35.
So you know what they.
They're on top of theirself-care game.
They know a day away keeps theI don't know something away.
(16:17):
It's just.
It makes you a better personwhen you, I always like to say
it's like the plain mass, oxygenmass situation.
You can't help other peoplewithout helping yourself first.
It really does fill yourbattery, fill your cup and make
you a better mother.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Yeah, I was just going to say it's just like
filling your cup.
If you are on vacation withyour family, that's amazing, but
part of that is actually asacrifice.
You're going to enjoy a lot ofit, of course, and the memories
you make with either yourhusband or your children, or
both.
You're not going to regret themI'm not saying you will, but
(16:54):
you might come home exhaustedand now you're thinking, oh my
God, all the kids' clothing isdirty, all my husband's sweaty
T-shirts.
It's just like it's not fillingyour cup.
As great as vacations are forfamily bonding, they're kind of
like a necessary evil, likeyou're still parenting, just not
(17:14):
at home.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
I always say family vacations are parenting in a
different destination.
That's not a vacation, At leastwhen you have young kids, like
I get.
Maybe when they're teenagersthat's different.
But you and I are at the stagewhere you still pack and unpack
everything and lotion everybodyup every day, make sure they're
getting their healthy meals.
It's, it's.
It's a coordinating from hell,Like it's so much work.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
I mean even day trips .
I'm at the stage like I onlyhave one.
But like a day trip, Igenuinely am like, okay, what do
I need to pack in this diaperbag?
Like A through Z, likeeverything I need to pack and
the contingency plans.
Like A through Z, likeeverything I need to pack and
the contingency plans, the food,everything.
And I'm like, wow, I cannotimagine doing this Like, and
(17:54):
Theo eats off our table, butit's just like it's so much you
have to pack.
So, yeah, anyone who feelsguilty like, oh, I could be
spending this time with myfamily, you absolutely can and
you should.
But to make memories with yourfamily, you don't have to go
away.
You know what I mean.
If you're thinking like it'sone or the other, if you have
young kids like they're justhappy to spend time with you, oh
(18:16):
yeah, you're their best friend.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, also, since you were talking about
the chaotic nature of packingthey do they do this, as you
just have to pack for yourself.
You don't have to worry aboutyour husband forgetting his
underwear, his toothbrush, whatyour kids need no diapers, no
formula just yourself.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Oh my God, I would love to pack for myself.
That sounds so good.
Oh my God, ted and I have awedding this weekend and
obviously Theo's not going andthe wedding is a little
overnight away and I am liketotally confused.
I'm like am I just going tolike wake up and like not have
to worry about Theo?
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yep, that's exactly what's going to happen, although
that's when you'll scroll hisvideos and photos and be like I
miss him.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
I know I'm actually like kind of nervous.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
It's fine, everything will be fine, and so will moms
who go on this retreat.
Yeah, everyone, it's yeah, justlike you guys should fill your
cup.
I'm filling mine this weekend,absolutely, it's needed.
I mean, honestly, anytime Ispend away with you, mom, my
best friends, even just it feelslike, like you said, like, even
if it's a day thing, Iliterally feel so much better.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Yeah, it's, it's good when you have that like oh, I
miss them again moment, becausethat's when you know you're not
totally overstimulated whenyou're with them all day, every
day.
Let's say you have kids who area bit too young for like
daycare or something like that.
You're still doing like a bitof a hybrid schedule.
Wow, I know you pray forbedtime.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
You do, which I feel guilty in that, but then at the
same time I'm like no, nevermind.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Go to bed?
Definitely so, mom.
Guilt is unavoidable, but thebest way to cure that is to look
after yourselves Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
And just remember, dads don't get that shit oh my
God, do you think they don't?
I mean'm obviously, I'm surethey do, but it's just more
common that they'll do boystrips, bachelor parties, golf
days without you know.
I mean like all that adds up ifyou think about it and they
don't hesitate at all.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Um, ted actually just went to france uh, it's just a
weekend trip, so we didn't havehim for like two or three days.
Um, but booking it, uh, leadingthis was many, many months ago.
His friend, tom, like wasbooking it with him and I was
like, okay, so like I'm soloparenting for a weekend, like
I'm not happy, and his friendwas like he deserves it.
(20:38):
I was like I was like if anyonedeserves a mother effing trick,
it's me.
It drove me crazy, like it'ssomething that really stuck with
me.
This was so many months ago,guys, and like anytime he's
brought up, I'm just like I'mgoing to kill him.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Did you send him a picture of your sore nipples?
Your breasts sucked, nickel.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
No, but I should.
It just really pissed me off.
It's just like not somethingyou should say about the dad.
Unless the dad's a stay-at-homedad, then totally.
But like I'm still on mat leave, so like I'm full-time mommy
all day, every day.
So like I was just so appalled,like you deserve it.
Like, um, okay, that's hard,but you know, see, the dads can
(21:35):
do it, so can the moms.
Yeah, I was like I'm going awayto get even with you.
Um, I'm, I'm going, I'm goingon like a spa weekend or spa day
.
Like just don't even hit me up.
I was like don't, don't ask mequestions.
Um, don't ask me to explainanything.
Like I'm going away and myphone will be on, do not disturb
.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
As you should, queen, she'll be at off duty.
A mom's retreat, exactly yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Catch me at off duty a mom's retreat.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
That'll be another specialist on hand.
Anybody need a guy know whilewe're there giving birth ladies.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
I know, oh my God, there there, there would be so
many questions and now, when Ilike go to weddings, like my
friends see me and ask questions, so there would definitely be,
like so many, never off never.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
So you know what I think?
This is gonna be a revolution,and it's a good one.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
I know, I think so too.
I don't know if there are othermom retreats out there.
I really don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
I obviously did a little bit of research.
There are, but I see a lot ofthem run by just like other moms
, and it's not like they don'thave the experts come in.
So I'm trying to kind ofreinvent the wheel here because
I mean I could do a mom vacationwith it.
I'm like I'm trying to thinklike if I saw that, as fun as
(22:59):
they look, I would just do thatwith my best friends, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Like that wouldn't prompt me to go with these
strangers, just right right,that's true, I would rather go
with my best friends where I'mcomfortable exactly so this
might be this gap in the market.
And you fill it, girl, and youbecome a millionaire.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
It's not really about the money, though, but it's
about care proper care that weshould be getting, but we're not
.
And a village sisterhood.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
But wouldn't it be crazy if, like, in 10 years time
, it's like off duty is likeguys, you should get in on the
ground floor, like what if thisis what if this really explodes
and this becomes like the like,it becomes like synonymous with
motherhood is like, oh yeah,have you gone on off duty Like
such a good retreat and you goall over the world with it.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I, that is my hopes.
I truly hope so.
I I want to do, you know, one ayear.
You know just as I'm starting.
But if they get so popular thatI have to do maybe two a year,
three a year, four a year, I amdown girl.
I will be off duty all the time.
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
What I love your brain.
I don't know how the frick youcame up with this idea, but you
did.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
And in a week you implemented it.
I actually I don't know how mybrain does it either.
I don't know how to explain it,but, like, sometimes I'll
basically think of differentavenues to solve my own problems
and then, because you know me,Bridget mom's always like oh,
marissa has the biggest heart,she's so empathetic, that's why
she's a therapist.
I usually figure out thesolution and then say how can I
give back to everybody else?
I want everybody to feel sogood, just like me freaking
(24:31):
genius thank you, thank you.
So, coming a lot from thedoctor's second overachieving
child, yeah, but I'm not ascreative as you.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
I would not have come up with it.
This is something I would havebeen like, oh, I wish this
exists.
Or like, oh, I wish I couldlike go away with my friends and
have like an amazing time, butit honestly would not have
occurred to me to like createthat.
So I'm imploring you all, allthe listeners out there, like
this might be your chance to getin before this absolutely blows
up, because what I'm hearing isa genius idea and there's
(25:02):
definitely a need in the marketand in motherhood, and I think
it's going to be big.
I really do.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
I truly hope so and I will say you are right in a
sense, like get on the bandwagonnow because, like I said, I
want these to be very personal,small guided retreats, so I
really don't want to take anymore than 12.
Will I maybe bump the number ifit gets so popular, to maybe 15
, 20, maybe, but right now verysmall, village, sisterhood
minded, I don't want it to feellike people are getting lost in
(25:34):
a big group.
You know, I really want peopleto make really good motherhood
friends.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
No, I love that, yeah , Especially if you're like
someone who's overwhelmed orlike you know how we said,
motherhood is very isolating.
So maybe you only have a coupleof friends and you're like I
really don't want to be like ina big group of 20, 30 women
where, like you know, I'm cominghere to like kind of find a bit
of a village and I'm going tobe overwhelmed if it's a bunch
of like you know, like loud inyour face extroverts and then
(26:01):
you just kind of fall to thewayside.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Right, right.
Also for my workshops.
They're going to be obviouslygroups led by me and they're
going to get really personal.
We're going to get someemotions out there and I think
with any group setting too big agroup is too big, it doesn't
work well.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Yeah, yes, definitely .
It's just like you're sharingin front of a group of strangers
.
At that point I think you'd bea bit more timid, yeah, Whereas
you know you're having like awelcome party with only you said
maximum 12 women.
So you might really open up andshare with these women and feel
by the time it's a grouptherapy session, you really know
(26:39):
these women and you're morethan happy to share.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Yeah, yeah, I wanted it to.
I don't know if everyone'sgonna know this, but anyone who
went to a Catholic schoolespecially Monsignor Donovan,
now Donovan Catholic, kairos,kairos Do you know how, even if
we had a big class, they'd breakyou down to no more than five
people, kind of thing?
I wanted Kairos for motherhoodbecause I felt like when I left
Kairos it was such a really goodbonding experience and it
(27:04):
really made me feel good and Iwant that feeling, but for
mothers, yes because you shareand you realize that actually we
all are very, very similar andwe all have massive struggles
and we all have horriblethoughts, we all have intrusive
thoughts and sometimes we letthem win.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
And it's good to just like give a voice to that.
So you're like, oh, I'm notsuper weird, or like a horrible
mom or just a bad person or abad friend, because you know,
sometimes you feel like all ofthose things.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Also just pressure to talk about.
Like I feel like things thataren't talked about right, like,
um, like, if people feel guiltybecause, like they're new,
they're friends who either haveway older kids or no kids at all
, um, you know, when you youfeel guilty, that you don't text
them back right away.
It's like five business days,but you a really good friend
doesn't care, right, you couldpick up whatever, but you still
(27:50):
feel guilty about it.
So, like, let's talk aboutthese things, let's get to the
nitty gritty, let's just makefriends who don't care, right,
because we're all in thistogether.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
All in this together.
And yeah, it is funny, you, youkind of feel like a bad friend
because, yeah, you're just thissounds bad again but like you're
just too busy.
You're too busy for them.
And it's not like you're toobusy to be a friend, but you're
too busy to text and you're toobusy to organize.
So if someone's like, hey, whencan we all get together for
(28:17):
dinner, sometimes you're like Ijust can't like even put my
brain power behind that.
Also, what I have found and Ifeel so guilty is weddings Like
before kids.
That's like you're like, oh, Ihave a wedding this weekend.
You already know what you'rewearing, you know how you're
styling it, you know what hairdolike.
You're like, oh, yeah, yeah,I'm ready to go, I know where it
(28:38):
is.
Like massive flip Guys.
I don't even know the date ofso many weddings.
I have eight weddings this yearand some of them what is it?
The three days, two days beforethe last wedding I went to, I
texted and I was like, is herwedding on a friday or saturday?
And she was like, oh, my god,seriously bridget.
And I was like, when you like,all I could think about was like
(29:01):
getting here and, like I don'tknow, showing up with my kid at
the airport, like that was ityep I mean our thought behind
outfit, hair shoes, date of thewedding.
I was like I know it's thisweekend, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
I mean if it makes you feel any better for our own
brother's wedding.
I have multiple calendarreminders and it's our brother.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
It's just one of those things and it sounds
really bad.
So, like any brides out there,if you're listening and you're
like that's really fuckingoffensive Because like I spent a
whole year and a lot of moneyLike it's no offense to you at
all, I'm not saying your day isnot important, but once you have
a child, like it's just nolonger like the highlight of my
week.
I can't even I'm lookingforward to it.
(29:41):
I want to go, but like I justcan't even think about it until
it is like literally tomorrow,and then I'm like, oh shit, I
need an outfit.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
The mental exhaustion .
Another thing I hope to helpothers through it.
Yeah, if you have to think ofone more thing, you're just,
you're just overboard, you'rejust too much.
And that's another reason whythis has to be a retreat where
you really get away.
It can't be just like aFacebook group or a virtual get
together, because that's justanother thing where you have to
(30:11):
put energy into maybe typingsomething.
You just you're just like no,no, no, no, no.
You need to be away.
You need to be who you werebefore you were a mom, whoever
that may be, and just enjoy.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Love that, love that.
I'm jealous of all you girlieswho are going on it.
Obviously, if I'm free nextApril, I'm definitely going to
pop my freaking head in and sayhello and if I can I'll do
totally like a Q and a session.
But um, I, oh my God, I'm soexcited.
So plug it again.
Marissa, tell us where we canfind all this.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Okay, so the title of my retreat is off duty, a mom's
retreat.
You can go to register atwwwoffdutyretreatscom or you can
follow us on Instagram, whichalso has my website link there.
Okay, hold on.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
She's going to confirm.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Okay, so at our Instagram you can go to off
underscore duty, underscore momunderscore retreats.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Amazing, Sounds incredible.
Everyone go follow, even if youdon't want to go.
But you want to follow alongbecause Merce is going to post
some awesome content as itunfolds.
So go head over to Off-DutyMoms Retreats.
And yeah, I hope we like thisepisode, ladies.
Oh, the answers are back.
For should Merce throw a momrager and a hundred percent said
(31:30):
yes?
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Okay, so also, I was was gonna say something about
that.
That also is what got my braingoing.
Instead, I I took the momranger wow, mom rager to a next
level.
But this is this what came fromthat question see guys.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Oh my god.
Just a week ago we're talkingabout mom ragers and she booked
a whole vacation for you fuckers.
I'm raging bitch, yeah, oh mygod.
Oh wait, think about getting,oh, as drunk as you want,
because the next day you don'thave to wake up early to a child
screaming.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Also alcohol's included.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Oh my God, guys, she is spoiling you.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
So even if the dates don't work for you or it's just
not something you could swing,if you guys just follow along
and share my stuff, that'sthat's a big enough help.
I appreciate that as well.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Yes, amazing Off-duty mom retreats.
Everyone go check it out andthank you so much for joining us
for season three.
You want out of off duty like?
Tell us what you expect to findyourself, your peace, your
(32:42):
center, whatever, let us know.
Yes, take care.
Bye.
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