April 18, 2025 • 39 mins
Ever wondered why your office feels like an ice box while your male colleagues seem perfectly comfortable? Or why medications seem to affect you differently than advertised? The answer lies in a shocking reality: much of our world simply wasn't designed with women in mind.
In this eye-opening episode, Bridget and Marissa dive deep into the gender data gap exposed in Caroline Criado-Perez's groundbreaking book "Invisible Women." What they uncover will leave you questioning everything from car safety to medical care. Did you know women are 73% more likely to be seriously injured in car accidents because crash test dummies are modeled after male bodies? Or that most medications are never properly tested on women of childbearing age?
From brick sizes designed for men's hands to office temperatures set for male metabolic rates, these seemingly small design choices create real barriers for women's success and safety. The sisters explore how heart attacks in women are routinely misdiagnosed because female symptoms are labeled "atypical" despite women making up the majority of the population. They also discuss the frustrating double standard where women who speak up are labeled "Karens" while men's complaints are taken as legitimate concerns.
Between life updates about their growing families and upcoming reunions, Bridget and Marissa reflect on how motherhood has strengthened their confidence and resilience in the face of these systemic challenges. They invite you to join the conversation by suggesting a male equivalent to "Karen" and sharing how parenthood has changed your own perspective.
Ready to see the invisible biases all around us? Listen now, and you'll never look at the world quite the same way again. Follow us on Instagram @psychoticpypodcast to continue the conversation and connect with our community of listeners!
Disclaimer: This podcast represents the opinions of Dr. Bridget Melton, MD and licensed therapist Marissa Volinsky, MS, LPC, NCC. The contents of our podcast and website should not be taken as medical advice. The contents of our podcast and website are for general informational purposes only, and are not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any condition or disease or substitute for medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental health professional, or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before starting or discontinuing treatment.
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a crisis, please reach out immediately to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741. These services are free and confidential.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
And welcome back to Psychotic PY Podcast.
This is your host, Marissa, andBridget.
Obviously, the better sister isstarting out first today.
All right, so Bridget, take itaway.
Episode four season three.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hello guys, welcome to episode four.
So today we are talking aboutsomething that's important
hopefully to our listeners,because I assume you're all
women.
I was like fuck you.
Yeah, it's aboutunderrepresentation of women in
studies and research.
We have talked about this inseason one a little bit and I
(00:41):
mentioned the book InvisibleWomen by Caroline Criado-Perez
Amazing read.
I read it a couple of years agonow and maybe a few years ago.
God time flies, anyway.
And she gives you just the hardfacts, like you're more likely
to die in this, you're morelikely to be injured.
This she's literally tallied upthe money that stay at home
moms would earn.
(01:02):
It adds billions to the GDP.
It's insane.
Like you could charge someone,it would be.
It costs you an astronomicalamount to pay someone to do it,
like a stay-at-home mom does.
And she just talks about, likebasically, how people argue,
like equal work for equal pay,and she brings it down to the
money, to the dollar, to thehour, everything.
(01:23):
It's amazing.
It's all just statistical, butin an interesting way, and you
read it and you're like womenreally are absolutely shafted in
this world.
It's amazing.
So, yeah, highly recommend thatread.
So we're going to just talkabout that a little bit, because
Marissa sent me something onInstagram, I think, a week ago
(01:47):
where they're basically pullingstats from her book and it's
kind of like doing the rounds onsocial media, even though the
book's been out for a littlewhile.
So I was like, oh, I know that,I read that and it's all true.
So, yeah, welcome.
Season three, episode four anylife updates?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
um, I hung out with Aunt Erin shout out to Yaya, it
was fun.
We went to go see you, got afriend in me, kind of uh show.
Um, don't ask me what theirnames are, because I just know
exactly what they look like andthat it was really fun and they
kind of just talked about things.
It's like a podcast, live formof you know things on the real
housewives and stuff like that.
Like I was telling bridgetbefore, they had a Damien come
(02:25):
out, which is Tina Fey's goodfriend and reason why she
created Damien in Mean Girls.
So it was like pretty much his,the reason the character is
developed, and let me say he isto a T Damien, even his name and
I just was a really nice nightout.
We had a drink after a park inRittenhouse square, we went home
and started a new show on AppleTV which, by the way, bridget,
(02:47):
in order to finish it I needyour login.
Thank you, love you.
Kiss, kiss, it's the new onewith the studio.
No, no, no, it's the guy thatloses his job.
So he has to start robbing hisneighbor by friends and
neighbors.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Yes, that one.
So, good Jon Hamm one.
So good, john ham, is it good?
I haven't started it.
Very good, and give me yourlogin and we could just do it
together.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
My, my apple tv ends in two days, I will.
I will binge tonight.
I won't go to bed.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Give it to me and they drop the whole thing.
It's not coming out weekly thewhole season, to my knowledge.
Oh my god, because apple tvusually does weekly dumps.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Guys like weekly episodes, I don't know maybe
they only dropped a few, and ifI don't know either way, let me
know they start out.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yeah, okay, also guys watch the studio on apple tv,
so good I'll have to do that toohonestly.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Um, a little tidbit about me guys.
Don't know if bridget knows ornot, but john ham is actually
one of my like older zaddycrushes, right, no matter how
old he gets, he's fine and hehas a big penis there's an
instagram called john ham'spenis.
It's huge I didn't know that.
Now I'm gonna have to go search, but that's not even when I
liked him.
I just feel like he ages sowell he is funny.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
He's hilarious even in like bridesmaids when he's
the worst he's still like, socharming and adorable.
Also, is his name ted andbridesmaids?
I'm pretty sure it is.
I think it is, which makes itfunnier, ted, and I always joke
about how, like any ted in anymovie is always an asshole, like
hollywood hates ted's or someted years ago fucked someone
over and hollywood has notforgiven them you know what's
(04:15):
funny?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
I love that part where he's like you're no longer
my number two and she's likewhat he drives away.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
I love him in that.
So even when he's an asshole,you're like, oh, he's so cute.
No, I really want you to leave.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
I don't want to be a dick I really want you to leave
oh yeah, so my friends andneighbors.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Okay, I'll have to give it a little watch.
But yeah, I'm sure apple tvusually releases two episodes
and then the rest is like aweekly I feel like I saw more
than that.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Not saying that it's the whole season, maybe it's
only like three or four, butlike I'll go as far as I can
Give me it, okay, cool, cool,cool, cool.
Anyway, so that was my lifeupdate.
What about you, bridget?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Life update.
I mean, you know, theo, sevenmonths, he's starting to almost
crawl.
He's really close.
He does these little planks.
It's adorable.
Um, I mean, yeah, it's almosteaster guys.
Yes, I went to palm sunday massand he made little friends with
the you know, the old ladieswho helped around church.
He's so adorable.
He's being all cute, um, butyeah, oh, you know what quick
(05:22):
update An acquaintance of mine,because it's my brother-in-law's
good friend, just had theirfirst baby, just like literally
a few days ago, and I think itwould be nice my brother-in-law,
my brother-in-law's friends,will why.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
John popped into my head.
I'm like what are you talkingabout?
But yes, I would be yourbrother-in-law.
I'm sorry, I'm not used to that.
He doesn't have siblings.
Rest in peace anymore, so Idon't.
When you use that lingo, I justassume you mean John.
No, Okay, continue.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Yeah, my brother-in-law, will Melton, so
his good friends, just had theirfirst baby and I, now that I'm
like you know, mom, and Iobviously have social media so I
see certain complaints thatpeople make against, like
visitors.
I think it would be nice.
Oh, I sent her diapers alreadysent her a big pack of diapers.
I'm like you'll need these,girl.
And the diapers came with 10free packs of wipes crazy.
(06:14):
Never saw that before, I know.
So I sent that right to herhouse.
But a lot of people say youshould, instead of like going
over and be like can I hold,hold your baby, you should
actually go over there and letthe mom hang out with the baby
and bond and you just like do aload of laundry, wash the dishes
, help her, do the pump,whatever, like all that other
(06:36):
stuff, offer up my services andbe like hey, do you have a day
where you're not doing anything?
I'll drive on over, literallyyou can cuddle your new baby
girl and I'll just like do theother shit, cause I feel like
that's what you really need,cause her husband's obviously
back at work.
I was very lucky Ted had threemonths, like her husband's, I'm
(06:57):
sure, back at work.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
I.
What I've learned is yes,that's correct, but it's
actually you should ask the mom,because there are some moms, um
, especially with colicky babies, that would prefer the release
of like I don't know, just likewalking outside while you, you
know, hold the baby, or just solike, for me it's per mother.
I asked the mother do you wantme to come and be a maid and a
chef and and whatever you need,or do you want me to help you
(07:23):
with the baby and you get tochoose what you want to do?
I also always never comeempty-handed, whether that's I'm
coming and I'm bringing a tonof food, or you don't want any
visitors and I'm sending traysof food helpful cooking is okay
I will, I'm definitely in thisand so will was like they're
dead chill, like they're bondingbeautifully.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
She's a really chill baby and I'm like, yes, but
that's because she's a newborn,um, so I'm like okay, because he
visited already and he's like Ididn't want to impose, but they
said like come on over,everything's good.
So I might just be like youknow, you carry on and yeah, but
I'll ask her the thing that'sso invaluable is like if you
come with food or like you dothe dishwasher, the laundry,
(08:02):
like that's all the stuff thatadds up, and then at the end of
the day, like when you put babydown for a nap, you're like, oh
my God, now I have like 3million things to do.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yep, Well, Kimmy did with me, cause my friend Kimmy
if anybody doesn't know, bestfriend love you girl, Especially
with Evelyn.
She knew she obviously as anexperienced person at that time,
new, like, ask me right, andall I wanted to do, cause Evelyn
was still sleeping like anangel, so it didn't matter
whether she was with us or not.
I was like I want to put her inthe car while she's asleep and
we'll stay asleep, and I wantyou to drive me to Shogun just
(08:31):
to get out of the house.
But but I don't actually wantto go in, Cause that means I
have to do hair and makeup andit and it was like so fun I'm
getting out of the asylum today.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
What's funny is I actually I haven't opened her
message yet, cause it was justlike 15 minutes ago and I could
already see she says, like whenI'm able to drive again, it'd be
nice to meet up for a baby date.
Like you just want to get outof the effing house, Especially
in good weather.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
The best time is to have a baby.
In good weather, you just wantto get out of the effing house,
especially in good weather.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
The best time is to have a baby in good weather.
Yes, I know, spring has sprung,guys, so I think everyone's
just like desperate to get out.
Speaking of which, we'recarrying on with this life
update for a while.
Ted, my husband, his birthdayis this week and he has taken.
He has the whole week off ofwork.
He took off, so we just keepsinging because today you didn't
(09:29):
have to go into work.
He worked the whole weekend andwe just keep going birthday
week birthday.
Like we went for a walk withtheo.
We went to the pub, I had alittle tiny beer, a little half
pint.
Um came back, fed him.
Yeah, we just like, oh, he didlike dad shit.
Today he mowed the grass and,you know, did his little weed
whacker.
It's just like such a nice time.
I'm like, oh, I can't wait.
He has a whole week to.
I mean, I say chill, but hecan't really chill because I
have pilates and then book clubtomorrow.
(09:50):
So bitch you better you betterwork.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
He is now your employee.
I know it's like that thingthat was going around you have
been promoted, my employee,what's?
I didn't see that.
It's a thing where it was likeyou're my.
You think you're getting prettymuch in the situation like this
.
You think you're getting abreak, but it's like you have
been promoted, I'll set it toyou, you're my invaluable
employee.
(10:14):
And they didn't realize,because it's something similar
to this dynamic where it's likeno, you're.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
You know, this is my family and I have all for a week
.
No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Yeah, I know, I know.
So yeah, exciting timesEveryone's having a baby now,
everyone First of all, summer ofbabies, not just in my friend
group, your friend group, andeven acquaintances of both, I'm
like.
You're all giving birth June,all the way to September,
october, what the hell.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Yes, that is what I I have.
I have literally like babiesfrom now till, I'd say, august
for me.
I think that ends.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I'm in first week of October for me, but literally
that my friends start all theway from June, all the way the
first week of October.
I'm like, oh my god yeah, it'sjust, it's happening.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Man, we're trendsetters, you and I, and
then our friends, just you know,fall like dominoes.
It's just kidding.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I love you.
They just you know what, though, if they wanted to see, if we
could, you know, do it withoutgoing mentally insane first.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
And they were like oh okay, okay, okay that's so true
.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah, they're like if they break, then we're not
doing it they were raised underjerry's regime, so if they can
handle this, then we'll take iton.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah .
I know ted keeps mentioninghaving a second one.
Guys, what's?
And I'm like, I know I'm like,and yet, and yet, and yet, jesus
, he's trying to have irishtwins.
What the hell.
I think in an ideal world hewould he'd seen like two under
two.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
I'm like it's not happening no, I I think it's a
beautiful idea in as an idea,but in reality especially
because the second are usuallytougher and a bit colicky no, it
ain't happening Right.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
So those are the life updates.
I can't think of anything elsegoing on.
That's exciting, sorry One more.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Bridget comes home in countdown one week.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Oh yes, yes, oh, my God, I forgot that I fly in
literally one week oh, yes, yes,oh my god, I forgot that I fly
in literally a week, so we'rerecording today, on a Monday.
I fly on a Monday.
Oh my god, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yay, and then we can record in person yes, which ends
up us just having a girls dayand almost forgetting to record.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
I know, but I'm so excited, oh my god.
Yes, guys, I'm going to be inthe us of a for a whole month.
It's gonna fly, but we'll tryto make the most of it.
It's gonna be mother's day.
I have a wedding I'm attending.
Um, I signed with you up forswim lessons, so is.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Uh.
I know theo remembers my voice,but do you think he'll remember
me?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
I really hope I'll cry I will literally I'll cry
too.
I remember when jack was like II want to say one.
I came home once from Chicagoand he just you remember how he
used to like back up, Like ifyou open the door, he'd, and I
was like Jack, it's me Like Ifed you all the time, Like I was
there for you all the time as ababy.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
It broke my heart and then he like warmed up and I
was like and evelyn would dothis thing where you could be
best friends with her one trip,but if there was a big enough
gap, she would cry and hide inme or john until she warmed up
again and I'd be like girl youplayed with this person before
for hours ending me baby girl,so that's why I think it's gonna
(13:19):
happen with theo, but but he'snot nine months yet, so no
stranger danger, so I thinkhe'll still be pretty chill.
Could be earlier with kids.
Evelyn's came earlier.
Oh damn, mom always thoughtit's because girls like mentally
develop faster, because shealways seemed like more ahead
than him.
That way he was physically likewalking and all that ahead.
But like you know, mentally sheseemed further ahead with it,
(13:40):
just like social cues andeverything, and she could pick
things up faster.
Potty training was quicker,just things like that.
So you know, maybe it's a girlthing, I don't know well, we'll
see.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Hopefully, my dumb, dumb son still loves you.
I will cuddle him anyway, Iknow.
Yeah, he could basically saygaga now.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
So but yeah, is that his first word before mama and
dada.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Um, he doesn't.
I don't think it'sunintentional, but when he cries
he does say mama.
It's like mama, so I'm assumingit's unintentional.
It's just like a sound he'smaking, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
And when he babbles he says gaga, a lot it's so easy
to say um, but does it meltyour little mommy heart and he's
crying and calling for you?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
I know it does and I hate when he does it, because I
little mommy heart and he'scrying and calling for you I
know it does and I hate when hedoes it because I'm like no, I
don't like, I just want to likepick him up and smother him with
love oh, I wish you could allsee her how she acted that out.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
It was very adorable but, yes, very smother
smothering.
You just want to like.
Oh, all right, our life updatehas taken this whole podcast, so
let's get to it.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah, sorry, guys.
Okay, so the book is Invisible.
Women the thing Marissa sent meis so women are 73% more likely
to be seriously injured in acar accident and I have quotes
from her book up right in frontof me now.
And you're 47% more likely tobe seriously injured or die in a
car accident.
Now do you know why?
I'll tell you why.
It's because and it'sinaccurate for men as well, but
(15:11):
it's more accurate.
So crash test dummies only camein one form the average 70 kilo
man.
Now, the average 70 kilo manhas not existed since the
seventies or eighties becausemen are way bigger now, but
that's what they use a 70-kiloman.
And then for a woman, they werelike oh yeah, just like,
replicate it, okay.
Then eventually women were likethat's not right.
So in the 80s, maybe 90sactually it could be even the
(15:36):
early 2000s, guys, it's likeshockingly recent they were like
oh, okay, so women and menaren't the same.
We'll fix this problem.
We'll take the child crash testdummy, which is 4'11 and 100
pounds 4'11, 100 pounds andwe'll use that as the woman.
(16:01):
Women are much more seriouslyinjured or much more likely to
be seriously injured or die in acar accident because we
literally they don't exist.
We do not have female crashtest dummies.
We have no idea what a caraccident does to a female body.
Now you're probably saying whydon't they just make one for
women?
Well, for decades and decadesand decades modern research,
because you can go all the wayback to the dawn of science.
But women were not even thoughtof then.
(16:24):
So there's no point.
You understand that.
But modern research when it'srecorded and we read it still
and cite these articles, theyrefuse to do research on women
of, quote, childbearing age, sobasically 12 to 55.
They will not do any researchon you because they're like well
, we don't know what it'llaffect her eggs.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
So, women.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
we rarely have drug trials.
We have no studies done on usat all.
So any research you read, ifit's not the latest like I'm
talking within the last fiveyears when they started actually
including women who are notpost-menopausal If you still
have estrogen floating around,it's literally within the last
five years.
Anything before that.
If you're reading drug trials,anything it's on men, it's on
(17:07):
men and postmenopausal women, soit may not even relate to you.
Perfect example intermittentfasting.
In the last decade they've donea ton of research about
intermittent fasting being likeoh, it can cure type 2 diabetes
and weight loss, all this stuff.
There's actually research theyjust did.
It's not a great decision forwomen who still have their
period.
(17:27):
If you're getting menstruation,if you're of childbearing age,
it can be more harmful than goodbecause you need a certain
amount of food throughout theday to regulate your cycle.
You need these fats, you needthese proteins.
It's just it's not the malebody.
It works differently and itcycles.
Obviously that's where we havea cycle.
So it's not like the male bodywhere it's relatively steady
(17:49):
state throughout the year.
Completely different for us.
So intermittent fasting couldmake your health, you know worse
.
It could be a detriment to yourhealth, unless you are
post-menopausal.
Just a little fun fact.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
In my field alone, or you know even yours medical
behavioral most studies done onanimals are done on males or
over females.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Wait see, how is that even relevant?
They're animals as if we'retrying to like breed more
monkeys.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
But again, why are we not evening out the ratio?
Why are we sticking to moremale, whatever it is, whether
it's a rat, a bunny or whateverit is?
Not that I even agree with anyof this, because I think that's
so cruel, but you know what Imean.
In in these studies across theboard, in bridget's field, in my
field, it's mostly the maleanimal and I just don't think
that's going to help anybody ifyou're just focusing on one
(18:36):
gender.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
That is so interesting.
So men are, on average, morethan twice as likely to
interrupt women as women are tointerrupt men.
Now, you probably could have.
You probably could have broughtit out as well how many times?
And I think I would say,growing up it was so normal you
(18:59):
really didn't even think aboutit.
You're just like, oh, theyinterrupted me, whatever.
Like that's annoying.
But it's only when I was anadult, like an over 25-year-old
adult, that I was like wait asecond, it is actually only the
boys who keep interrupting me.
It's so frustrating and it justcomes from and this is she
talks about this in her bookno-transcript Women and all that
(19:43):
stuff.
You're at the gym and you'relike I really need to use those
weights, but there's a bunch ofbig guys over there and if I go
grab those weights, they'regoing to be like, oh, what does
she need those for?
And I will say that's changednow.
Obviously, a lot of women liftweights, but when I was like in
high school oh no, like youstuck to the cardio girl and
that was what I was.
I graduated high school in 2012.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
It sounds like a really long time ago.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
But that's what it was, right, don't you agree?
More so, like the 2010s, it waslike no, no, no, you stick to
the elliptical.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Right, right.
Even if, like it was verycommon when girls wanted to just
like lose weight for homecomingor prom, it was like cardio,
hit the cardio hard, don't eat alot in cardio.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Yes, and now I'm so happy it's changed.
Now when I go to the gym I'malways at the weights and women
are always at the weights andit's totally normal.
But I mean, I remember being atFordham and being like going to
the gym and I had tons offriends.
I knew it wasn't like weird,but if I'd be like there's too
many guys at the weights and Ineed those weights but they're
just going to look at me likewhy is she here?
(20:42):
So I wouldn't, and it was soeffing annoying.
But it comes from a sense ofbelonging.
Men inherently always thinkthat they belong and that no one
is judging them.
Not all men.
Obviously there are men withanxiety.
I'm not discounting that.
But more likely that womenwithout any anxiety feel like
they have to prove themselves ina room unless it is a room full
(21:05):
of only women.
Right, I agree with that.
Absolutely Shocking.
Now another really interestingthing.
These are things you don't eventhink about.
That's why I totally recommendthis book, guys.
You will fly through it.
You'll be like it's aboutstatistics.
No, you will fly through it.
It reads recommend this book,guys.
(21:27):
You will fly through it.
You'll be like it's aboutstatistics.
No, you will fly through it itreads like a novel.
So, stupidest thing bricks thecommon brick and cinder block.
They invented to be the size ofan average man's hand because
bricklayers obviously were men.
So they pick up a brick, put itdown.
Women um, there are femalebricklayers in the world.
Obviously there are women whowork in construction.
They struggle.
We have smaller hands becausewe are, on average, smaller
people, so they struggle andthat makes them slower.
(21:47):
You have to pick it up.
You know it might take twohands, so you're working at a
slightly slower pace.
This inherently leads to menbeing like oh, women can't do
construction jobs, they're tooslow when the brick was made for
your hand.
That's why you are able tosucceed.
If a brick was made for awoman's hand, we would be better
suited to the job.
(22:08):
So don't just say, oh, it'sjust because we're better at it.
You're better at it because theworld was designed for your
body.
That is why you're better at it.
Offices they set the temperatureto the optimal temperature.
Like 65 degrees it's cold.
They set it for the optimaltemperature for the male body to
work throughout the day.
That's why women go bundled upto work.
(22:29):
Not Marissa, she's like bitch.
I love the air.
Women bundle up, they'refreezing.
This is also in the book book,I'm not just coming up with this
, you know and you know.
When your hands are cold,marissa, and you're like, can't
type because you're like I'm sofucking cold, like you,
literally your shoulders are upto your ears.
It slows down women, it slowsdown their productivity, because
(22:50):
now they're going to thekitchen, the kitchenette,
they're making more coffee,they're making more tea, they're
putting their sweaters on andthen they literally cannot type
as fast because they're so cold.
And men will be like what's shedoing?
Get her third cup of tea?
And it's like I am freezing.
Can we in the middle here?
But the office space wasdesigned for this optimal
temperature for the male bodyduring the day.
(23:11):
I'm trying to think of otherones just off the top of my head
.
This book really stuck with me.
It's incredible.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I have a few things from my sphere of the world.
Oh good For just diagnosing andeverything.
Adhd in women underdiagnosedbecause of internalizing
symptoms, so anxiety andinattention sometimes are less
visible.
And boys are obviously easilymore able to become diagnosed
(23:40):
because they have externalizedhyperactivity which can be seen,
so they get the diagnosis more.
Now this is just one example ofmany things in my field I could
go into where there's just amisrepresentation.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
I've read the same thing about autism spectrum.
Would you agree with that?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
It's because I hear too, yep.
It presents differently inwomen and sometimes it's either
it's diagnosed way later forthem or missed completely,
according to their malecounterparts.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
And that is because well, I don't know if this is
true, but this is what I readit's because women have better
people pleasing and socialskills so they can hide autism,
whereas if there's a boy withautism spectrum and you're just
not entertaining him, he'll letyou know and you're like that
was kind of an odd comment.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Maybe that's exactly why you are 100% correct Sweet
Right on the money.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Yes, okay, I remembered another one, so this
is the most common.
We hear it all the timeAtypical chest pain, like
atypical heart syndromeconditions.
We call it atypical heartsyndrome conditions.
We call it atypical, eventhough women are 51% of the
population, atypical guys.
It literally just meanspresenting like a woman.
We are the majority technically.
(24:49):
How is ours atypical?
Why is ours not typical?
I get it Generally menpresented with heart attacks not
anymore.
Also, we miss so manymyocardial infarctions in women
because we're like no, it's notthe typical left arm pain up to
the jaw, elephant on your chest.
Women don't.
They can, but they tend not topresent that way.
Can we stop calling it atypicalchest pain when it just means
(25:10):
female?
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Yes, I agree.
I know you were talking abouthormones and everything a little
bit ago.
I know you were talking abouthormones and everything a little
bit ago Because of thatlongstanding tendency to
interpret female emotion througha pathological lens.
So if a woman is expressinganger, they could be labeled as
hysterical or borderline morereadily than the men showing
similar behavior.
So a lot of things are blamedon, like our hormones and our
(25:34):
emotionality, and it's like whoawhoa, wait a minute, take a
back seat.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Absolutely, the classic is female athletes.
Hope you know what is it.
Last year they tried to makethat whole, like angel reese and
um, oh my god, guys don't judgeme, but the other really good
basketball player I'm I don'twatch wmba, but those two
college grads who now play forthe wmba, they were saying
there's like a big feud betweenthem.
It is literally justcompetitiveness and passion for
the WNBA.
They were saying there's like abig feud between them.
It is literally justcompetitiveness and passion for
(26:02):
the game.
Like if there were two malesplaying at that time for March
Madness, like yeah, obviouslythey wouldn't be getting along
their opponents like they're noton the same team?
absolutely, is her name ClarkCaitlin?
Speaker 1 (26:17):
oh my god, guys, don't judge me, don't judge me
don't follow it, but I wouldlove to see what people would
say Okay, so obviously I couldspeak on this only because my
husband is an avid Devils hockeyplayer, so it's very well known
that they fight right and theylove it.
The crowd goes for it.
The referees are trying tobreak it up.
If this was predominantly women, what would?
(26:37):
Would people love it?
Speaker 2 (26:38):
would the crowds love it, or would they be like oh my
god, she's crazy calm downhormones, like they would call
them crazy, and the lead up tothe game they would be like oh
so and so hate.
So they would like stir updrama, just like they do with
these basketball players.
It's so embarrassing.
Why is everything alwaysreduced to some sort of like
drama?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
but I also, though, through any generation in time.
When men display physicalbehavior, it's like rewarded,
Like yeah, he had to, he had toshow it, he had to make his
point, or he was defending hiswoman or his property.
It's like praised.
But with women it's like calmdown, Are you emotional?
It's like what?
Speaker 2 (27:15):
And they'll also be like oh, you're like your white
trash, like you're cat fightingor something.
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Yeah, Mm-hmm, but I mean change the gender and
people are like, yeah, he had to.
He had to show him who's boss.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
It's very frustrating .
Speaker 1 (27:32):
It is interesting.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
This is me right off.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
We'll have to go fight our husbands for no reason
.
Really emotional yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
It's unfortunate because there are so many
examples like this and I meanhonestly like I cannot recommend
this book enough because thecertain things you just
literally did not even thinkabout and you're like, yeah,
wait, why are women like slowerat this, or whatever.
And you go oh my God, the worldaround us was specifically
catered.
And they'll say like it's not,like well, it just happens to be
(28:05):
.
No, no, they have like thefacts, they have like the
blueprints of whatever they made, they it was designed for a man
and they're letting you knowthat and then.
I guess I just thought like oh,women would never work, and I
don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
I honestly, maybe they just never went back to you
know, start from scratch and belike, all right, let's try this
avenue now.
Nope, they're like that's goodenough.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah I mean, and taking our lives so
lightly as to not even have testdummies that are our
proportions is insane.
Like okay, it's one thing, tobe like, well, she can't lay
bricks, but to be like, well,she's gonna die in a car
accident, like what, you have solittle regard for our health
(28:51):
and safety I mean, it is umscary.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
To be honest, I don't want to think about it.
When you, when we were likediscussing this in a dm, she dms
me.
Guys, I feel old when I saythat, but I was like I don't
feel.
I wish I didn't know that.
Could you make me?
Can we go back in time, erasemy memory like men in black,
because I don't want to know.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
I know I actually, because I was just like, oh,
it's going to be, like thisbook's just going to kind of
teach me sad facts.
I already knew, but when I readabout, like health and safety
ones, and how drugs, um, couldliterally have potentially
life-ending side effects but wedon't know because we don't test
them on women, oh my God, likemost adverse reactions to drugs
(29:35):
are reported by women.
A, we report things more, but B, we were having more adverse
reactions, side effects, becausethe drug was not tested on a
woman.
And then they're like, oh no,that's rare, okay, well, if it's
happening to another um.
But I was like I really wish Ididn't know this, because now
everything, you, just you reallyhave to be so strict and you
(29:57):
can't be like, oh well, it saysit won't cause this and a man.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
You know what this has got me pondering as you're
speaking.
I don't feel like there's anequivalent to when people say
karen, right, like you're.
Oh, she's being a karen now,granted disclaimer.
Yes, there are though that fitthat description.
You're like oh my god, she'sbeing ridiculous.
But then there are women whomaybe just be voicing a concern
and then they're labeled as akaren.
But what's the male equivalent?
Speaker 2 (30:23):
yes, that's so true, as if men don't complain because
, let me know, yeah, they do.
Let's make a name right now.
Let's put it out in theuniverse.
What are we going?
Speaker 1 (30:37):
to give it Kevin.
Is that?
Is that seem, Kevin?
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Well, I was going to say a Brian, but a Kevin.
Don't say Brian, you have anuncle Brian, that's not.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Yeah, I don't know why that came to me but Brian
with a Y, uncle Brian's with anI.
Okay, so it's either Brian witha Y or Kevin.
I feel like a Kevin might be.
I'm sorry if I'm forgetting anyKevin that we know.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
I know Sorry, but Kevin, yeah, why not?
The only Kevins I know areactually really chill.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I know, okay, maybe we got to change it up.
Who do you like a?
Chad, dylan, brad Brad's areannoying.
We should do Brad or Chad.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Dylan better chad dylan.
I feel like dylan's not gonnachill.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Usually smoke weed I don't know, just the name
bothers me.
You guys, we, you know you needto make this a question on our
ig and let's survey, let's,let's do a fill in.
I want to, I want a good nameand then we're gonna thing,
we're gonna make it a thing,guys, and we're gonna, we're
gonna do it, we're gonna startthis name they need a name.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
They need a name, they need a freaking name.
They need a freaking nameBecause, let me tell you, bryce,
keith, keith, they need a nameBecause men complain about shit
all the time.
But when they do, it's likewell, it's a legitimate concern.
But when women complain,they're like will you shut your
trap?
And it's like no, I will notshut my trap.
Okay, I, I will not shut mytrap okay, I can't believe.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I just realized that.
Why is there no?
This is making me angry thatthere's no equivalent.
Actually, son of a bitch, yep.
Anyway, now that I'm riled upand about to start a fight with
a random person.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Guys, I'm stretching, Sorry my back.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
She's got to go to Pil pilates this evening, so
she's got to get limber going topilates this evening.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
Hopefully that loosens me up a bit.
Guys, anyone from england shoutout to pilates on the walds is
a friend of mine, jenny.
She opened it.
She is a mom, she has adaughter who's a year old now.
She's absolutely killing it and, um, yeah, so she just started
this endeavor because she had acareer I don't know if she still
works there and she justthought, you know, with being a
(32:36):
parent now going into the officejust like, wasn't going to work
feasibly, because her husbandis a farmer, like a full-time
farmer.
So in the summer and stuffduring harvest he works till two
in the morning.
So there was there's no waylike she just, you know,
couldn't.
So she completed her pilatestraining, she started pilates on
the walls and, um, yeah, it'sbooked.
(32:59):
So yeah, anyone in england inthe uh, in the area in
lincolnshire shout out to thelincolnshire crowd Go to Pilates
on the Walls Mondays in Holton.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
You know, I always find it amazing that we're
obviously amazing without kids,but it is a very common theme
that a mom can literally switchdirections and career paths
after having kids and beextremely successful.
So you're talking about Ginny.
That's how I started my therapybusiness.
It's just like we're able tolike pivot and just like
overcome and then like rock thatshit.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
I know another weird thing and I don't know.
I don't know if it's motherhoodrelated or or what, but like I
have never felt more likeempowered as a female and more
like proud of our gender.
Like as when I a gave birthlike unmedicated, like that blew
my mind.
I was like who did that?
But be also just like care fortheo, like a mo effing boss.
(33:51):
Like sometimes you just havethose days.
You're like like you are firingon all cylinders, you've
problem solved, you plannedahead and you're just like, um,
I can kind of do anything.
I'm amazing.
Um, yeah, like it makes you usedifferent parts of your brain,
like I and merce it can probablytest for this like I am a
terrible critical thinker.
I don't critically think beinga parent has made me use that
(34:15):
side of my brain.
Like to me, I'm like if plan adoesn't work, well, that's it.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
But now I have like plan q oh well, step your game
up, because I'm on z bitch, I'mum, what I think motherhood has
done for me and this, maybe thisshould be another ig post like
let's hear, let's read them, but, um, I my friends will attest
to this I was someone whodefinitely cared what others
thought, to the point where itwould have I would.
You know, bridget, like you'dbe like, oh, just stop
(34:41):
overthinking it.
Who cares what she said aboutyou?
Or she didn't mean it that way,but I was overthinking and
hurting my own feelings like anidiot.
Yeah, you do, um, and I wasalways like self-conscious and
um, even when I was at myskinniest, I was still
self-conscious.
But like I became a mother andI just don't give a fuck.
Like nicole would be like wewould visit you on any given day
.
That was planned.
She's like it's not.
Like we walked in on youunexpected, like we planned this
(35:03):
for weeks.
You knew we were coming andyour tits were out on the pump
and then, even when you weredone, you were slow to put your
tits back and she was like wewere like, uh, you want to get
dressed.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
And you'd be like I don't give a fuck mercy, used to
care so much, like even whenyou were like in high school and
you just got your license andstuff.
I remember driving with you andyou do take things personally
because you're like such anempath and I know people overuse
term but you really like feelit all, yeah.
And I remember like someonelike literally like we live in
Jersey, okay, like people areassholes on the road, they're
(35:34):
not good drivers and literallyjust someone like maybe cut into
her lane and she's like nottoday, blue Hyundai Like took it
.
So she's like I see you and Iwas like Marissa, like it's fine
, you just got to get over it,and you were like that blue
Hyundai did it on purpose allright, I can still be like that,
but I I'm definitely moreregulated now and also, I know
(35:57):
it's not personal, even when Imight initially act like it.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
I can talk myself down.
But, like, I remember when Ivisited you what two, three
years ago in London and someonewhen we were having tea, our mom
saw someone talk shit, saying Iwas being like a loud American
or something.
I don't know.
I missed that, but yes, I thinkthat happened Again.
I didn't even see this and yetI took it so personal because we
got back to the hotel and I wasrepeating the thing that my mom
told me and I was in thebathroom, remember, with you,
(36:21):
and you're like Marissa, likewho gives a fuck.
You're never gonna see thisperson again.
Yes, we are genuinely louder.
Not only we're from usa, butwe're from jersey, we're italian
, yeah, they because they looklike honestly, I'm again, I'm
speculating they look likethey're from like denmark or
finland, like a quiet little youknow sweden, and they just were
, so they're talking.
Even though they were, I couldtouch them.
They.
Our seats were so close and yetthey sounded like they were
(36:42):
whispering, but it was theirnormal tone, so anyone would
seem loud to them and I took itso personally and Bridget had to
just like, um, metaphorically,slap me out of it and she was
like shut up, bitch, go to thebathroom.
Let's get our, let's go Ournext itinerary thing let's go.
We are loud.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
It's fine, people call me loud here all the time
and I'm like that's true, andI'm now I'm deaf because of it.
Like our base volume is so loudthat, like when people speak at
a different volume in England,I'm like what?
Like speak up, girl.
My hair cells are broken.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
Me too.
There's so many times where,like they talk normal, I can
tell, but I'm like what, what?
And they're like do you want meto scream it?
I'm like yes.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Yes, if life shout out to our mother, then I can't
hear.
You don't respond to any othertime.
Yeah, I need to be genuinelyfearful of what you're gonna do
next, and then I'm listeningthen my attention, is there all
of it exactly.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
Then I'm like, oh you rang fire that's so funny, but
yeah, so like.
Yeah, back on topic to whatyou're saying.
I was just yeah, I did it, butmotherhood did that to me where
it's like again, I have mymoments, but I genuinely
definitely care less for sureintake.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Girl, you was always hungry.
I, just as we were recordingthis, I had my first real meal
of the day.
It's in England, it's 6 30 now,but it was like at 5 30.
I had like a little snack inthe morning.
I had tea for breakfast, like I.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Just I was been busy oh my goodness, but yeah, you
know.
So let's definitely put it outthere, guys.
I definitely want to know.
She'll also put this on IG, incase we all forget.
I want to know a good male namefor karen.
We need them an equivalent.
And what has motherhood changedyou?
(38:34):
Or, if you are, um, not amother, yet in the process of
being a mother, have you, haveyou been surrounded by family or
friends that are mothers and doyou feel like they've changed
how?
Speaker 2 (38:43):
we'd like to know the answer is yes, but we want to
know how.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
We want to know, I want to know.
But, as always, thanks forjoining us.
Please like, share, subscribeto Psychotic PY Podcast on all
of our socials, and especiallyYouTube.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
We love you, yes, we love you so much.
Thanks, queens, bye.
And welcome back to Psychotic PY Podcast.
This is your host, Marissa, andBridget.
Obviously, the better sister isstarting out first today.
All right, so Bridget, take itaway.
Episode four season three.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hello guys, welcome to episode four.
So today we are talking aboutsomething that's important
hopefully to our listeners,because I assume you're all
women.
I was like fuck you.
Yeah, it's aboutunderrepresentation of women in
studies and research.
We have talked about this inseason one a little bit and I
(00:41):
mentioned the book InvisibleWomen by Caroline Criado-Perez
Amazing read.
I read it a couple of years agonow and maybe a few years ago.
God time flies, anyway.
And she gives you just the hardfacts, like you're more likely
to die in this, you're morelikely to be injured.
This she's literally tallied upthe money that stay at home
moms would earn.
(01:02):
It adds billions to the GDP.
It's insane.
Like you could charge someone,it would be.
It costs you an astronomicalamount to pay someone to do it,
like a stay-at-home mom does.
And she just talks about, likebasically, how people argue,
like equal work for equal pay,and she brings it down to the
money, to the dollar, to thehour, everything.
(01:23):
It's amazing.
It's all just statistical, butin an interesting way, and you
read it and you're like womenreally are absolutely shafted in
this world.
It's amazing.
So, yeah, highly recommend thatread.
So we're going to just talkabout that a little bit, because
Marissa sent me something onInstagram, I think, a week ago
(01:47):
where they're basically pullingstats from her book and it's
kind of like doing the rounds onsocial media, even though the
book's been out for a littlewhile.
So I was like, oh, I know that,I read that and it's all true.
So, yeah, welcome.
Season three, episode four anylife updates?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
um, I hung out with Aunt Erin shout out to Yaya, it
was fun.
We went to go see you, got afriend in me, kind of uh show.
Um, don't ask me what theirnames are, because I just know
exactly what they look like andthat it was really fun and they
kind of just talked about things.
It's like a podcast, live formof you know things on the real
housewives and stuff like that.
Like I was telling bridgetbefore, they had a Damien come
(02:25):
out, which is Tina Fey's goodfriend and reason why she
created Damien in Mean Girls.
So it was like pretty much his,the reason the character is
developed, and let me say he isto a T Damien, even his name and
I just was a really nice nightout.
We had a drink after a park inRittenhouse square, we went home
and started a new show on AppleTV which, by the way, bridget,
(02:47):
in order to finish it I needyour login.
Thank you, love you.
Kiss, kiss, it's the new onewith the studio.
No, no, no, it's the guy thatloses his job.
So he has to start robbing hisneighbor by friends and
neighbors.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Yes, that one.
So, good Jon Hamm one.
So good, john ham, is it good?
I haven't started it.
Very good, and give me yourlogin and we could just do it
together.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
My, my apple tv ends in two days, I will.
I will binge tonight.
I won't go to bed.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Give it to me and they drop the whole thing.
It's not coming out weekly thewhole season, to my knowledge.
Oh my god, because apple tvusually does weekly dumps.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Guys like weekly episodes, I don't know maybe
they only dropped a few, and ifI don't know either way, let me
know they start out.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yeah, okay, also guys watch the studio on apple tv,
so good I'll have to do that toohonestly.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Um, a little tidbit about me guys.
Don't know if bridget knows ornot, but john ham is actually
one of my like older zaddycrushes, right, no matter how
old he gets, he's fine and hehas a big penis there's an
instagram called john ham'spenis.
It's huge I didn't know that.
Now I'm gonna have to go search, but that's not even when I
liked him.
I just feel like he ages sowell he is funny.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
He's hilarious even in like bridesmaids when he's
the worst he's still like, socharming and adorable.
Also, is his name ted andbridesmaids?
I'm pretty sure it is.
I think it is, which makes itfunnier, ted, and I always joke
about how, like any ted in anymovie is always an asshole, like
hollywood hates ted's or someted years ago fucked someone
over and hollywood has notforgiven them you know what's
(04:15):
funny?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
I love that part where he's like you're no longer
my number two and she's likewhat he drives away.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
I love him in that.
So even when he's an asshole,you're like, oh, he's so cute.
No, I really want you to leave.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
I don't want to be a dick I really want you to leave
oh yeah, so my friends andneighbors.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Okay, I'll have to give it a little watch.
But yeah, I'm sure apple tvusually releases two episodes
and then the rest is like aweekly I feel like I saw more
than that.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Not saying that it's the whole season, maybe it's
only like three or four, butlike I'll go as far as I can
Give me it, okay, cool, cool,cool, cool.
Anyway, so that was my lifeupdate.
What about you, bridget?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Life update.
I mean, you know, theo, sevenmonths, he's starting to almost
crawl.
He's really close.
He does these little planks.
It's adorable.
Um, I mean, yeah, it's almosteaster guys.
Yes, I went to palm sunday massand he made little friends with
the you know, the old ladieswho helped around church.
He's so adorable.
He's being all cute, um, butyeah, oh, you know what quick
(05:22):
update An acquaintance of mine,because it's my brother-in-law's
good friend, just had theirfirst baby, just like literally
a few days ago, and I think itwould be nice my brother-in-law,
my brother-in-law's friends,will why.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
John popped into my head.
I'm like what are you talkingabout?
But yes, I would be yourbrother-in-law.
I'm sorry, I'm not used to that.
He doesn't have siblings.
Rest in peace anymore, so Idon't.
When you use that lingo, I justassume you mean John.
No, Okay, continue.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Yeah, my brother-in-law, will Melton, so
his good friends, just had theirfirst baby and I, now that I'm
like you know, mom, and Iobviously have social media so I
see certain complaints thatpeople make against, like
visitors.
I think it would be nice.
Oh, I sent her diapers alreadysent her a big pack of diapers.
I'm like you'll need these,girl.
And the diapers came with 10free packs of wipes crazy.
(06:14):
Never saw that before, I know.
So I sent that right to herhouse.
But a lot of people say youshould, instead of like going
over and be like can I hold,hold your baby, you should
actually go over there and letthe mom hang out with the baby
and bond and you just like do aload of laundry, wash the dishes
, help her, do the pump,whatever, like all that other
(06:36):
stuff, offer up my services andbe like hey, do you have a day
where you're not doing anything?
I'll drive on over, literallyyou can cuddle your new baby
girl and I'll just like do theother shit, cause I feel like
that's what you really need,cause her husband's obviously
back at work.
I was very lucky Ted had threemonths, like her husband's, I'm
(06:57):
sure, back at work.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
I.
What I've learned is yes,that's correct, but it's
actually you should ask the mom,because there are some moms, um
, especially with colicky babies, that would prefer the release
of like I don't know, just likewalking outside while you, you
know, hold the baby, or just solike, for me it's per mother.
I asked the mother do you wantme to come and be a maid and a
chef and and whatever you need,or do you want me to help you
(07:23):
with the baby and you get tochoose what you want to do?
I also always never comeempty-handed, whether that's I'm
coming and I'm bringing a tonof food, or you don't want any
visitors and I'm sending traysof food helpful cooking is okay
I will, I'm definitely in thisand so will was like they're
dead chill, like they're bondingbeautifully.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
She's a really chill baby and I'm like, yes, but
that's because she's a newborn,um, so I'm like okay, because he
visited already and he's like Ididn't want to impose, but they
said like come on over,everything's good.
So I might just be like youknow, you carry on and yeah, but
I'll ask her the thing that'sso invaluable is like if you
come with food or like you dothe dishwasher, the laundry,
(08:02):
like that's all the stuff thatadds up, and then at the end of
the day, like when you put babydown for a nap, you're like, oh
my God, now I have like 3million things to do.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yep, Well, Kimmy did with me, cause my friend Kimmy
if anybody doesn't know, bestfriend love you girl, Especially
with Evelyn.
She knew she obviously as anexperienced person at that time,
new, like, ask me right, andall I wanted to do, cause Evelyn
was still sleeping like anangel, so it didn't matter
whether she was with us or not.
I was like I want to put her inthe car while she's asleep and
we'll stay asleep, and I wantyou to drive me to Shogun just
(08:31):
to get out of the house.
But but I don't actually wantto go in, Cause that means I
have to do hair and makeup andit and it was like so fun I'm
getting out of the asylum today.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
What's funny is I actually I haven't opened her
message yet, cause it was justlike 15 minutes ago and I could
already see she says, like whenI'm able to drive again, it'd be
nice to meet up for a baby date.
Like you just want to get outof the effing house, Especially
in good weather.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
The best time is to have a baby.
In good weather, you just wantto get out of the effing house,
especially in good weather.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
The best time is to have a baby in good weather.
Yes, I know, spring has sprung,guys, so I think everyone's
just like desperate to get out.
Speaking of which, we'recarrying on with this life
update for a while.
Ted, my husband, his birthdayis this week and he has taken.
He has the whole week off ofwork.
He took off, so we just keepsinging because today you didn't
(09:29):
have to go into work.
He worked the whole weekend andwe just keep going birthday
week birthday.
Like we went for a walk withtheo.
We went to the pub, I had alittle tiny beer, a little half
pint.
Um came back, fed him.
Yeah, we just like, oh, he didlike dad shit.
Today he mowed the grass and,you know, did his little weed
whacker.
It's just like such a nice time.
I'm like, oh, I can't wait.
He has a whole week to.
I mean, I say chill, but hecan't really chill because I
have pilates and then book clubtomorrow.
(09:50):
So bitch you better you betterwork.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
He is now your employee.
I know it's like that thingthat was going around you have
been promoted, my employee,what's?
I didn't see that.
It's a thing where it was likeyou're my.
You think you're getting prettymuch in the situation like this
.
You think you're getting abreak, but it's like you have
been promoted, I'll set it toyou, you're my invaluable
employee.
(10:14):
And they didn't realize,because it's something similar
to this dynamic where it's likeno, you're.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
You know, this is my family and I have all for a week
.
No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Yeah, I know, I know.
So yeah, exciting timesEveryone's having a baby now,
everyone First of all, summer ofbabies, not just in my friend
group, your friend group, andeven acquaintances of both, I'm
like.
You're all giving birth June,all the way to September,
october, what the hell.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Yes, that is what I I have.
I have literally like babiesfrom now till, I'd say, august
for me.
I think that ends.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I'm in first week of October for me, but literally
that my friends start all theway from June, all the way the
first week of October.
I'm like, oh my god yeah, it'sjust, it's happening.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Man, we're trendsetters, you and I, and
then our friends, just you know,fall like dominoes.
It's just kidding.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I love you.
They just you know what, though, if they wanted to see, if we
could, you know, do it withoutgoing mentally insane first.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
And they were like oh okay, okay, okay that's so true
.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah, they're like if they break, then we're not
doing it they were raised underjerry's regime, so if they can
handle this, then we'll take iton.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah .
I know ted keeps mentioninghaving a second one.
Guys, what's?
And I'm like, I know I'm like,and yet, and yet, and yet, jesus
, he's trying to have irishtwins.
What the hell.
I think in an ideal world hewould he'd seen like two under
two.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
I'm like it's not happening no, I I think it's a
beautiful idea in as an idea,but in reality especially
because the second are usuallytougher and a bit colicky no, it
ain't happening Right.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
So those are the life updates.
I can't think of anything elsegoing on.
That's exciting, sorry One more.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Bridget comes home in countdown one week.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Oh yes, yes, oh, my God, I forgot that I fly in
literally one week oh, yes, yes,oh my god, I forgot that I fly
in literally a week, so we'rerecording today, on a Monday.
I fly on a Monday.
Oh my god, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yay, and then we can record in person yes, which ends
up us just having a girls dayand almost forgetting to record.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
I know, but I'm so excited, oh my god.
Yes, guys, I'm going to be inthe us of a for a whole month.
It's gonna fly, but we'll tryto make the most of it.
It's gonna be mother's day.
I have a wedding I'm attending.
Um, I signed with you up forswim lessons, so is.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Uh.
I know theo remembers my voice,but do you think he'll remember
me?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
I really hope I'll cry I will literally I'll cry
too.
I remember when jack was like II want to say one.
I came home once from Chicagoand he just you remember how he
used to like back up, Like ifyou open the door, he'd, and I
was like Jack, it's me Like Ifed you all the time, Like I was
there for you all the time as ababy.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
It broke my heart and then he like warmed up and I
was like and evelyn would dothis thing where you could be
best friends with her one trip,but if there was a big enough
gap, she would cry and hide inme or john until she warmed up
again and I'd be like girl youplayed with this person before
for hours ending me baby girl,so that's why I think it's gonna
(13:19):
happen with theo, but but he'snot nine months yet, so no
stranger danger, so I thinkhe'll still be pretty chill.
Could be earlier with kids.
Evelyn's came earlier.
Oh damn, mom always thoughtit's because girls like mentally
develop faster, because shealways seemed like more ahead
than him.
That way he was physically likewalking and all that ahead.
But like you know, mentally sheseemed further ahead with it,
(13:40):
just like social cues andeverything, and she could pick
things up faster.
Potty training was quicker,just things like that.
So you know, maybe it's a girlthing, I don't know well, we'll
see.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Hopefully, my dumb, dumb son still loves you.
I will cuddle him anyway, Iknow.
Yeah, he could basically saygaga now.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
So but yeah, is that his first word before mama and
dada.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Um, he doesn't.
I don't think it'sunintentional, but when he cries
he does say mama.
It's like mama, so I'm assumingit's unintentional.
It's just like a sound he'smaking, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
And when he babbles he says gaga, a lot it's so easy
to say um, but does it meltyour little mommy heart and he's
crying and calling for you?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
I know it does and I hate when he does it, because I
little mommy heart and he'scrying and calling for you I
know it does and I hate when hedoes it because I'm like no, I
don't like, I just want to likepick him up and smother him with
love oh, I wish you could allsee her how she acted that out.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
It was very adorable but, yes, very smother
smothering.
You just want to like.
Oh, all right, our life updatehas taken this whole podcast, so
let's get to it.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah, sorry, guys.
Okay, so the book is Invisible.
Women the thing Marissa sent meis so women are 73% more likely
to be seriously injured in acar accident and I have quotes
from her book up right in frontof me now.
And you're 47% more likely tobe seriously injured or die in a
car accident.
Now do you know why?
I'll tell you why.
It's because and it'sinaccurate for men as well, but
(15:11):
it's more accurate.
So crash test dummies only camein one form the average 70 kilo
man.
Now, the average 70 kilo manhas not existed since the
seventies or eighties becausemen are way bigger now, but
that's what they use a 70-kiloman.
And then for a woman, they werelike oh yeah, just like,
replicate it, okay.
Then eventually women were likethat's not right.
So in the 80s, maybe 90sactually it could be even the
(15:36):
early 2000s, guys, it's likeshockingly recent they were like
oh, okay, so women and menaren't the same.
We'll fix this problem.
We'll take the child crash testdummy, which is 4'11 and 100
pounds 4'11, 100 pounds andwe'll use that as the woman.
(16:01):
Women are much more seriouslyinjured or much more likely to
be seriously injured or die in acar accident because we
literally they don't exist.
We do not have female crashtest dummies.
We have no idea what a caraccident does to a female body.
Now you're probably saying whydon't they just make one for
women?
Well, for decades and decadesand decades modern research,
because you can go all the wayback to the dawn of science.
But women were not even thoughtof then.
(16:24):
So there's no point.
You understand that.
But modern research when it'srecorded and we read it still
and cite these articles, theyrefuse to do research on women
of, quote, childbearing age, sobasically 12 to 55.
They will not do any researchon you because they're like well
, we don't know what it'llaffect her eggs.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
So, women.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
we rarely have drug trials.
We have no studies done on usat all.
So any research you read, ifit's not the latest like I'm
talking within the last fiveyears when they started actually
including women who are notpost-menopausal If you still
have estrogen floating around,it's literally within the last
five years.
Anything before that.
If you're reading drug trials,anything it's on men, it's on
(17:07):
men and postmenopausal women, soit may not even relate to you.
Perfect example intermittentfasting.
In the last decade they've donea ton of research about
intermittent fasting being likeoh, it can cure type 2 diabetes
and weight loss, all this stuff.
There's actually research theyjust did.
It's not a great decision forwomen who still have their
period.
(17:27):
If you're getting menstruation,if you're of childbearing age,
it can be more harmful than goodbecause you need a certain
amount of food throughout theday to regulate your cycle.
You need these fats, you needthese proteins.
It's just it's not the malebody.
It works differently and itcycles.
Obviously that's where we havea cycle.
So it's not like the male bodywhere it's relatively steady
(17:49):
state throughout the year.
Completely different for us.
So intermittent fasting couldmake your health, you know worse
.
It could be a detriment to yourhealth, unless you are
post-menopausal.
Just a little fun fact.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
In my field alone, or you know even yours medical
behavioral most studies done onanimals are done on males or
over females.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Wait see, how is that even relevant?
They're animals as if we'retrying to like breed more
monkeys.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
But again, why are we not evening out the ratio?
Why are we sticking to moremale, whatever it is, whether
it's a rat, a bunny or whateverit is?
Not that I even agree with anyof this, because I think that's
so cruel, but you know what Imean.
In in these studies across theboard, in bridget's field, in my
field, it's mostly the maleanimal and I just don't think
that's going to help anybody ifyou're just focusing on one
(18:36):
gender.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
That is so interesting.
So men are, on average, morethan twice as likely to
interrupt women as women are tointerrupt men.
Now, you probably could have.
You probably could have broughtit out as well how many times?
And I think I would say,growing up it was so normal you
(18:59):
really didn't even think aboutit.
You're just like, oh, theyinterrupted me, whatever.
Like that's annoying.
But it's only when I was anadult, like an over 25-year-old
adult, that I was like wait asecond, it is actually only the
boys who keep interrupting me.
It's so frustrating and it justcomes from and this is she
talks about this in her bookno-transcript Women and all that
(19:43):
stuff.
You're at the gym and you'relike I really need to use those
weights, but there's a bunch ofbig guys over there and if I go
grab those weights, they'regoing to be like, oh, what does
she need those for?
And I will say that's changednow.
Obviously, a lot of women liftweights, but when I was like in
high school oh no, like youstuck to the cardio girl and
that was what I was.
I graduated high school in 2012.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
It sounds like a really long time ago.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
But that's what it was, right, don't you agree?
More so, like the 2010s, it waslike no, no, no, you stick to
the elliptical.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Right, right.
Even if, like it was verycommon when girls wanted to just
like lose weight for homecomingor prom, it was like cardio,
hit the cardio hard, don't eat alot in cardio.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Yes, and now I'm so happy it's changed.
Now when I go to the gym I'malways at the weights and women
are always at the weights andit's totally normal.
But I mean, I remember being atFordham and being like going to
the gym and I had tons offriends.
I knew it wasn't like weird,but if I'd be like there's too
many guys at the weights and Ineed those weights but they're
just going to look at me likewhy is she here?
(20:42):
So I wouldn't, and it was soeffing annoying.
But it comes from a sense ofbelonging.
Men inherently always thinkthat they belong and that no one
is judging them.
Not all men.
Obviously there are men withanxiety.
I'm not discounting that.
But more likely that womenwithout any anxiety feel like
they have to prove themselves ina room unless it is a room full
(21:05):
of only women.
Right, I agree with that.
Absolutely Shocking.
Now another really interestingthing.
These are things you don't eventhink about.
That's why I totally recommendthis book, guys.
You will fly through it.
You'll be like it's aboutstatistics.
No, you will fly through it.
It reads recommend this book,guys.
(21:27):
You will fly through it.
You'll be like it's aboutstatistics.
No, you will fly through it itreads like a novel.
So, stupidest thing bricks thecommon brick and cinder block.
They invented to be the size ofan average man's hand because
bricklayers obviously were men.
So they pick up a brick, put itdown.
Women um, there are femalebricklayers in the world.
Obviously there are women whowork in construction.
They struggle.
We have smaller hands becausewe are, on average, smaller
people, so they struggle andthat makes them slower.
(21:47):
You have to pick it up.
You know it might take twohands, so you're working at a
slightly slower pace.
This inherently leads to menbeing like oh, women can't do
construction jobs, they're tooslow when the brick was made for
your hand.
That's why you are able tosucceed.
If a brick was made for awoman's hand, we would be better
suited to the job.
(22:08):
So don't just say, oh, it'sjust because we're better at it.
You're better at it because theworld was designed for your
body.
That is why you're better at it.
Offices they set the temperatureto the optimal temperature.
Like 65 degrees it's cold.
They set it for the optimaltemperature for the male body to
work throughout the day.
That's why women go bundled upto work.
(22:29):
Not Marissa, she's like bitch.
I love the air.
Women bundle up, they'refreezing.
This is also in the book book,I'm not just coming up with this
, you know and you know.
When your hands are cold,marissa, and you're like, can't
type because you're like I'm sofucking cold, like you,
literally your shoulders are upto your ears.
It slows down women, it slowsdown their productivity, because
(22:50):
now they're going to thekitchen, the kitchenette,
they're making more coffee,they're making more tea, they're
putting their sweaters on andthen they literally cannot type
as fast because they're so cold.
And men will be like what's shedoing?
Get her third cup of tea?
And it's like I am freezing.
Can we in the middle here?
But the office space wasdesigned for this optimal
temperature for the male bodyduring the day.
(23:11):
I'm trying to think of otherones just off the top of my head
.
This book really stuck with me.
It's incredible.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I have a few things from my sphere of the world.
Oh good For just diagnosing andeverything.
Adhd in women underdiagnosedbecause of internalizing
symptoms, so anxiety andinattention sometimes are less
visible.
And boys are obviously easilymore able to become diagnosed
(23:40):
because they have externalizedhyperactivity which can be seen,
so they get the diagnosis more.
Now this is just one example ofmany things in my field I could
go into where there's just amisrepresentation.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
I've read the same thing about autism spectrum.
Would you agree with that?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
It's because I hear too, yep.
It presents differently inwomen and sometimes it's either
it's diagnosed way later forthem or missed completely,
according to their malecounterparts.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
And that is because well, I don't know if this is
true, but this is what I readit's because women have better
people pleasing and socialskills so they can hide autism,
whereas if there's a boy withautism spectrum and you're just
not entertaining him, he'll letyou know and you're like that
was kind of an odd comment.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Maybe that's exactly why you are 100% correct Sweet
Right on the money.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Yes, okay, I remembered another one, so this
is the most common.
We hear it all the timeAtypical chest pain, like
atypical heart syndromeconditions.
We call it atypical heartsyndrome conditions.
We call it atypical, eventhough women are 51% of the
population, atypical guys.
It literally just meanspresenting like a woman.
We are the majority technically.
(24:49):
How is ours atypical?
Why is ours not typical?
I get it Generally menpresented with heart attacks not
anymore.
Also, we miss so manymyocardial infarctions in women
because we're like no, it's notthe typical left arm pain up to
the jaw, elephant on your chest.
Women don't.
They can, but they tend not topresent that way.
Can we stop calling it atypicalchest pain when it just means
(25:10):
female?
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Yes, I agree.
I know you were talking abouthormones and everything a little
bit ago.
I know you were talking abouthormones and everything a little
bit ago Because of thatlongstanding tendency to
interpret female emotion througha pathological lens.
So if a woman is expressinganger, they could be labeled as
hysterical or borderline morereadily than the men showing
similar behavior.
So a lot of things are blamedon, like our hormones and our
(25:34):
emotionality, and it's like whoawhoa, wait a minute, take a
back seat.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Absolutely, the classic is female athletes.
Hope you know what is it.
Last year they tried to makethat whole, like angel reese and
um, oh my god, guys don't judgeme, but the other really good
basketball player I'm I don'twatch wmba, but those two
college grads who now play forthe wmba, they were saying
there's like a big feud betweenthem.
It is literally justcompetitiveness and passion for
the WNBA.
They were saying there's like abig feud between them.
It is literally justcompetitiveness and passion for
(26:02):
the game.
Like if there were two malesplaying at that time for March
Madness, like yeah, obviouslythey wouldn't be getting along
their opponents like they're noton the same team?
absolutely, is her name ClarkCaitlin?
Speaker 1 (26:17):
oh my god, guys, don't judge me, don't judge me
don't follow it, but I wouldlove to see what people would
say Okay, so obviously I couldspeak on this only because my
husband is an avid Devils hockeyplayer, so it's very well known
that they fight right and theylove it.
The crowd goes for it.
The referees are trying tobreak it up.
If this was predominantly women, what would?
(26:37):
Would people love it?
Speaker 2 (26:38):
would the crowds love it, or would they be like oh my
god, she's crazy calm downhormones, like they would call
them crazy, and the lead up tothe game they would be like oh
so and so hate.
So they would like stir updrama, just like they do with
these basketball players.
It's so embarrassing.
Why is everything alwaysreduced to some sort of like
drama?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
but I also, though, through any generation in time.
When men display physicalbehavior, it's like rewarded,
Like yeah, he had to, he had toshow it, he had to make his
point, or he was defending hiswoman or his property.
It's like praised.
But with women it's like calmdown, Are you emotional?
It's like what?
Speaker 2 (27:15):
And they'll also be like oh, you're like your white
trash, like you're cat fightingor something.
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Yeah, Mm-hmm, but I mean change the gender and
people are like, yeah, he had to.
He had to show him who's boss.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
It's very frustrating .
Speaker 1 (27:32):
It is interesting.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
This is me right off.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
We'll have to go fight our husbands for no reason
.
Really emotional yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
It's unfortunate because there are so many
examples like this and I meanhonestly like I cannot recommend
this book enough because thecertain things you just
literally did not even thinkabout and you're like, yeah,
wait, why are women like slowerat this, or whatever.
And you go oh my God, the worldaround us was specifically
catered.
And they'll say like it's not,like well, it just happens to be
(28:05):
.
No, no, they have like thefacts, they have like the
blueprints of whatever they made, they it was designed for a man
and they're letting you knowthat and then.
I guess I just thought like oh,women would never work, and I
don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
I honestly, maybe they just never went back to you
know, start from scratch and belike, all right, let's try this
avenue now.
Nope, they're like that's goodenough.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah I mean, and taking our lives so
lightly as to not even have testdummies that are our
proportions is insane.
Like okay, it's one thing, tobe like, well, she can't lay
bricks, but to be like, well,she's gonna die in a car
accident, like what, you have solittle regard for our health
(28:51):
and safety I mean, it is umscary.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
To be honest, I don't want to think about it.
When you, when we were likediscussing this in a dm, she dms
me.
Guys, I feel old when I saythat, but I was like I don't
feel.
I wish I didn't know that.
Could you make me?
Can we go back in time, erasemy memory like men in black,
because I don't want to know.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
I know I actually, because I was just like, oh,
it's going to be, like thisbook's just going to kind of
teach me sad facts.
I already knew, but when I readabout, like health and safety
ones, and how drugs, um, couldliterally have potentially
life-ending side effects but wedon't know because we don't test
them on women, oh my God, likemost adverse reactions to drugs
(29:35):
are reported by women.
A, we report things more, but B, we were having more adverse
reactions, side effects, becausethe drug was not tested on a
woman.
And then they're like, oh no,that's rare, okay, well, if it's
happening to another um.
But I was like I really wish Ididn't know this, because now
everything, you, just you reallyhave to be so strict and you
(29:57):
can't be like, oh well, it saysit won't cause this and a man.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
You know what this has got me pondering as you're
speaking.
I don't feel like there's anequivalent to when people say
karen, right, like you're.
Oh, she's being a karen now,granted disclaimer.
Yes, there are though that fitthat description.
You're like oh my god, she'sbeing ridiculous.
But then there are women whomaybe just be voicing a concern
and then they're labeled as akaren.
But what's the male equivalent?
Speaker 2 (30:23):
yes, that's so true, as if men don't complain because
, let me know, yeah, they do.
Let's make a name right now.
Let's put it out in theuniverse.
What are we going?
Speaker 1 (30:37):
to give it Kevin.
Is that?
Is that seem, Kevin?
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Well, I was going to say a Brian, but a Kevin.
Don't say Brian, you have anuncle Brian, that's not.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Yeah, I don't know why that came to me but Brian
with a Y, uncle Brian's with anI.
Okay, so it's either Brian witha Y or Kevin.
I feel like a Kevin might be.
I'm sorry if I'm forgetting anyKevin that we know.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
I know Sorry, but Kevin, yeah, why not?
The only Kevins I know areactually really chill.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I know, okay, maybe we got to change it up.
Who do you like a?
Chad, dylan, brad Brad's areannoying.
We should do Brad or Chad.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Dylan better chad dylan.
I feel like dylan's not gonnachill.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Usually smoke weed I don't know, just the name
bothers me.
You guys, we, you know you needto make this a question on our
ig and let's survey, let's,let's do a fill in.
I want to, I want a good nameand then we're gonna thing,
we're gonna make it a thing,guys, and we're gonna, we're
gonna do it, we're gonna startthis name they need a name.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
They need a name, they need a freaking name.
They need a freaking nameBecause, let me tell you, bryce,
keith, keith, they need a nameBecause men complain about shit
all the time.
But when they do, it's likewell, it's a legitimate concern.
But when women complain,they're like will you shut your
trap?
And it's like no, I will notshut my trap.
Okay, I, I will not shut mytrap okay, I can't believe.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I just realized that.
Why is there no?
This is making me angry thatthere's no equivalent.
Actually, son of a bitch, yep.
Anyway, now that I'm riled upand about to start a fight with
a random person.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Guys, I'm stretching, Sorry my back.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
She's got to go to Pil pilates this evening, so
she's got to get limber going topilates this evening.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
Hopefully that loosens me up a bit.
Guys, anyone from england shoutout to pilates on the walds is
a friend of mine, jenny.
She opened it.
She is a mom, she has adaughter who's a year old now.
She's absolutely killing it and, um, yeah, so she just started
this endeavor because she had acareer I don't know if she still
works there and she justthought, you know, with being a
(32:36):
parent now going into the officejust like, wasn't going to work
feasibly, because her husbandis a farmer, like a full-time
farmer.
So in the summer and stuffduring harvest he works till two
in the morning.
So there was there's no waylike she just, you know,
couldn't.
So she completed her pilatestraining, she started pilates on
the walls and, um, yeah, it'sbooked.
(32:59):
So yeah, anyone in england inthe uh, in the area in
lincolnshire shout out to thelincolnshire crowd Go to Pilates
on the Walls Mondays in Holton.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
You know, I always find it amazing that we're
obviously amazing without kids,but it is a very common theme
that a mom can literally switchdirections and career paths
after having kids and beextremely successful.
So you're talking about Ginny.
That's how I started my therapybusiness.
It's just like we're able tolike pivot and just like
overcome and then like rock thatshit.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
I know another weird thing and I don't know.
I don't know if it's motherhoodrelated or or what, but like I
have never felt more likeempowered as a female and more
like proud of our gender.
Like as when I a gave birthlike unmedicated, like that blew
my mind.
I was like who did that?
But be also just like care fortheo, like a mo effing boss.
(33:51):
Like sometimes you just havethose days.
You're like like you are firingon all cylinders, you've
problem solved, you plannedahead and you're just like, um,
I can kind of do anything.
I'm amazing.
Um, yeah, like it makes you usedifferent parts of your brain,
like I and merce it can probablytest for this like I am a
terrible critical thinker.
I don't critically think beinga parent has made me use that
(34:15):
side of my brain.
Like to me, I'm like if plan adoesn't work, well, that's it.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
But now I have like plan q oh well, step your game
up, because I'm on z bitch, I'mum, what I think motherhood has
done for me and this, maybe thisshould be another ig post like
let's hear, let's read them, but, um, I my friends will attest
to this I was someone whodefinitely cared what others
thought, to the point where itwould have I would.
You know, bridget, like you'dbe like, oh, just stop
(34:41):
overthinking it.
Who cares what she said aboutyou?
Or she didn't mean it that way,but I was overthinking and
hurting my own feelings like anidiot.
Yeah, you do, um, and I wasalways like self-conscious and
um, even when I was at myskinniest, I was still
self-conscious.
But like I became a mother andI just don't give a fuck.
Like nicole would be like wewould visit you on any given day
.
That was planned.
She's like it's not.
Like we walked in on youunexpected, like we planned this
(35:03):
for weeks.
You knew we were coming andyour tits were out on the pump
and then, even when you weredone, you were slow to put your
tits back and she was like wewere like, uh, you want to get
dressed.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
And you'd be like I don't give a fuck mercy, used to
care so much, like even whenyou were like in high school and
you just got your license andstuff.
I remember driving with you andyou do take things personally
because you're like such anempath and I know people overuse
term but you really like feelit all, yeah.
And I remember like someonelike literally like we live in
Jersey, okay, like people areassholes on the road, they're
(35:34):
not good drivers and literallyjust someone like maybe cut into
her lane and she's like nottoday, blue Hyundai Like took it
.
So she's like I see you and Iwas like Marissa, like it's fine
, you just got to get over it,and you were like that blue
Hyundai did it on purpose allright, I can still be like that,
but I I'm definitely moreregulated now and also, I know
(35:57):
it's not personal, even when Imight initially act like it.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
I can talk myself down.
But, like, I remember when Ivisited you what two, three
years ago in London and someonewhen we were having tea, our mom
saw someone talk shit, saying Iwas being like a loud American
or something.
I don't know.
I missed that, but yes, I thinkthat happened Again.
I didn't even see this and yetI took it so personal because we
got back to the hotel and I wasrepeating the thing that my mom
told me and I was in thebathroom, remember, with you,
(36:21):
and you're like Marissa, likewho gives a fuck.
You're never gonna see thisperson again.
Yes, we are genuinely louder.
Not only we're from usa, butwe're from jersey, we're italian
, yeah, they because they looklike honestly, I'm again, I'm
speculating they look likethey're from like denmark or
finland, like a quiet little youknow sweden, and they just were
, so they're talking.
Even though they were, I couldtouch them.
They.
Our seats were so close and yetthey sounded like they were
(36:42):
whispering, but it was theirnormal tone, so anyone would
seem loud to them and I took itso personally and Bridget had to
just like, um, metaphorically,slap me out of it and she was
like shut up, bitch, go to thebathroom.
Let's get our, let's go Ournext itinerary thing let's go.
We are loud.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
It's fine, people call me loud here all the time
and I'm like that's true, andI'm now I'm deaf because of it.
Like our base volume is so loudthat, like when people speak at
a different volume in England,I'm like what?
Like speak up, girl.
My hair cells are broken.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
Me too.
There's so many times where,like they talk normal, I can
tell, but I'm like what, what?
And they're like do you want meto scream it?
I'm like yes.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Yes, if life shout out to our mother, then I can't
hear.
You don't respond to any othertime.
Yeah, I need to be genuinelyfearful of what you're gonna do
next, and then I'm listeningthen my attention, is there all
of it exactly.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
Then I'm like, oh you rang fire that's so funny, but
yeah, so like.
Yeah, back on topic to whatyou're saying.
I was just yeah, I did it, butmotherhood did that to me where
it's like again, I have mymoments, but I genuinely
definitely care less for sureintake.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Girl, you was always hungry.
I, just as we were recordingthis, I had my first real meal
of the day.
It's in England, it's 6 30 now,but it was like at 5 30.
I had like a little snack inthe morning.
I had tea for breakfast, like I.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Just I was been busy oh my goodness, but yeah, you
know.
So let's definitely put it outthere, guys.
I definitely want to know.
She'll also put this on IG, incase we all forget.
I want to know a good male namefor karen.
We need them an equivalent.
And what has motherhood changedyou?
(38:34):
Or, if you are, um, not amother, yet in the process of
being a mother, have you, haveyou been surrounded by family or
friends that are mothers and doyou feel like they've changed
how?
Speaker 2 (38:43):
we'd like to know the answer is yes, but we want to
know how.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
We want to know, I want to know.
But, as always, thanks forjoining us.
Please like, share, subscribeto Psychotic PY Podcast on all
of our socials, and especiallyYouTube.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
We love you, yes, we love you so much.
Thanks, queens, bye.
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