February 26, 2025 • 61 mins
Relationships require more than love—they need deep, intentional conversations. In this episode of the Pure Intentions Podcast, Chrissy A. and Sir Anthony dive into trust, personal space, and communication, exploring how these factors impact relationships. We also introduce the Beyond Dating conversation card deck, a powerful tool to spark meaningful discussions between couples.
From personal experiences to expert insights, this episode reveals why intentional communication keeps the honeymoon phase alive and strengthens long-term relationships.
Want to build deeper connections? Check out our conversation starter decks:
💚 Beyond Dating - Committed Couples Edition
🖤 The Icebreakers - Dating Edition
In This Episode, We Discuss:
- How communication strengthens trust & emotional security
- Why personal space is essential for a healthy relationship
- Overcoming insecurities from past relationships
- How Beyond Dating cards help couples connect on a deeper level
- The importance of dating your partner even after the honeymoon phase
What’s the biggest challenge you face in maintaining deep conversations in your relationship? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
Key Takeaways from the Episode:
✅ Personal Space Strengthens Trust – Time apart isn’t a threat; it’s necessary for individual growth within a relationship.
✅ Trust Takes Work – Past experiences influence present relationships. Healing & open communication prevent unnecessary insecurities.
✅ Intentional Conversations Build Stronger Bonds – Couples who actively engage in deep conversations maintain stronger, longer-lasting relationships.
✅ Keeping the Spark Alive Matters – Dating shouldn’t stop after the honeymoon phase; effort keeps relationships fresh & exciting.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sir Anthony (00:00):
How would you feel if I felt uncomfortable with
what you wear?
Chrissy A. (00:05):
That can be acts of a man too, because y'all got
them great jogging pants.
And, baby, when you be puttingon them great jogging pants,
thinking you finna run someerrands without me, it's
absolutely insane.
Welcome to the Pure IntentionsPodcast, where real love, raw
emotions and intentionalrelationships come together.
(00:26):
Welcome back to the PureIntentions podcast, where we
talk everything relationshipfrom an intentional point of
view.
I am your host, chrissy A.
Sir Anthony (00:34):
I'm your co-host, sir Anthony.
Chrissy A. (00:36):
And today we are going to get inspiration from
our Beyond Dating cards that youguys should have purchased by
now, but if you haven't, you cango on our website at
yourintentions314.com.
And you can purchase our beyonddating cards.
This is for the couples thatare actually committed in a
relationship and just want to,like you know, keep that little
(01:00):
spark alive with opening up thecommunication.
So let's just get someinspiration from it, you ready?
I'm ready okay, I'm gonnashuffle it up a little bit for
you.
Oh, I accidentally left theinstructions in there.
It comes with instructions.
(01:21):
It comes with instructions.
These are nice hefty cards.
They strong, okay.
Okay, pick a card, any card,that one, that one spoke to you
Mm-hmm Okay.
Sir Anthony (01:37):
So this is me saying it to you so you mean you
first.
Chrissy A. (01:41):
However, we want to play.
If you want to do it like that,it's a shoot or puller.
Sir Anthony (01:45):
Let me change it around around.
I'm not going to read itverbatim because I think this is
a question that should be askedto a woman.
So how would you feel if I feltuncomfortable with what you
wear?
Chrissy A. (01:57):
that can be acts of a man too, because y'all got
them great jogging pants.
And, baby, when you be puttingon them gray jogging pants,
thinking you, finna, run someerrands without me, it's
absolutely insane really yeah.
Sir Anthony (02:12):
So what should I do in that case?
Chrissy A. (02:15):
put on something different really yeah.
Sir Anthony (02:18):
So to all the fellas that's wearing the light
gray jogging pants they justshouldn't buy them.
Chrissy A. (02:23):
Why not, Unless they just wearing them for they
significant other.
That's just my perspective.
I didn't realize how deep itwas because I heard the gray
jogging pants thing.
But that day that you threwthem jogging pants on and I was
minding my business and you'relike, baby, I'm going to be
right back.
(02:43):
And I looked up and I'm like beright back where.
Sir Anthony (02:49):
That's true.
Chrissy A. (02:50):
So I didn't know the extent to the gray jogging
pants until I experienced it inreal time.
Sir Anthony (02:55):
Okay.
Chrissy A. (02:56):
So that question is for you too.
Sir Anthony (02:57):
Okay, so I'll read it verbatim how would you handle
feeling uncomfortable with whatI wear?
That's what it said, but Ichanged it.
So, with the gray jogging pants, it's a no without you.
Chrissy A. (03:08):
It's a no without me .
Okay, yeah, all right, yourturn.
I ain't feeling that way at all.
Sir Anthony (03:14):
But if I'm wearing them around you, then what?
Chrissy A. (03:19):
It's a party.
Sir Anthony (03:34):
Okay, how important is personal space to you?
It's important, I know.
On one of the podcasts youasked me that and I was like
long as I get to go down andthat still holds true.
I ain't got one boy, terry.
Shout out to my boy, terry andindy, um, the little time that I
do take and what I'm spendingwith the very few guys that I
call friends or family, or whenyou take your outing, and then I
have the whole place to myselfin peace.
Chrissy A. (03:55):
It feels good, don't it?
It feels good.
So we were supposed to go seeKimora this weekend, right?
And I'm like no, babe can go.
You know, I want to be thereand I thought you were really
going to go and I'm like, oh,I'm going to have the apartment
to myself for the whole weekend,like I was excited about that,
(04:18):
yeah, okay no, I wasn't kickingyou out because I wanted to be
there too.
I love my personal space.
I love when you know we cantake that time apart.
I love the fact that you don'tcall me bugging me where you at
what you doing when I am goingaway.
It shows a level of trust andyou know that feels good.
(04:41):
You know to not think that, oh,why is she taking so long?
What's she doing?
Or even the fact that, likeyesterday, you had somewhere to
go and my friends like we ain'tready for you to leave yet, and
I'm just like, well, I gotta gethome to my man, and it was like
you always get him.
And I'm like, well, you knowit's somebody's birthday.
(05:03):
However, I was enjoyingspending time with them and, in
fact, you're like, okay, well,it's cool, just long, she back
by 11, it's fine, like I.
I love that we're able to dothat, because it's a lot of
people that don't know how toseparate and detach.
They feel like they have to doevery single thing together yeah
(05:24):
, and that is not healthy at all.
So guys need guy times with theguys and then they need alone
time just with themselves forpersonal peace, and vice versa,
yeah, so I think that it's likea fear associated with that,
when you've been heartbroken somany times or you've been done
(05:46):
wrong so many times, or you havetrusted somebody, and then it's
like I've given this person mytrust prior to you, and when I
did that they fucked me over,yeah, and then it's like I have
to relive that and give somebodyelse my trust.
It's not that I don't want totrust you.
(06:07):
It's like it's hard for me too,because I have trauma still
there from my previousrelationships.
Sir Anthony (06:14):
Yeah, I understand that, but to me and that's what
I feel correct me if I'm wrongthat's like a normal cycle where
, if you guys' trust was brokenin the last relationship
especially if it was a repeatthing and you're in something
new and you're starting to getthose spidey senses of okay,
you're doing stuff a littledifferent, you're moving a
little different, so it startsto do a trigger With me.
(06:39):
I don't want to relive thosetraumas.
I want to be able to trust whoI'm with and if I'm having that
in spidey senses, then that'sgoing to accelerate me like
figuring out what's going onreally early, instead of, like
in the past, I, you know, gavethem more benefits, I gave them
more shot, them more bail thanthey should have been shot, and
(07:02):
it was fucked up on me in theend because, like, I went this
long without stopping what wasgoing on when I saw the signs in
my face yeah, and realizing whoyour partner is, because you
know how they say.
Chrissy A. (07:13):
You tend to date the same person over and over again
because you don't learn alesson from the past
relationship.
But sometimes I think weconfuse it because we have these
like things that people saywhat I just said, those little
sayings, and they confuse us tothink like, oh well, this is
(07:34):
probably the same shit I wentthrough in a past relationship.
But no, it's a different person, it's a different vibe.
You can now approach thesituation different.
Like you just said, I know whenmy spidey senses are tingling.
Now I'm finna open this line ofcommunication and have this
conversation with you, a healthyconversation with you, not an
(07:55):
accusation type of conversation,because it is hard to trust
when you lost trust, even ifit's with a new person.
And you start to see, becauseit can be as simple as going
outside, like how I was outsideall day.
You know.
Like you didn't blow me up, youknow what I'm saying.
(08:15):
Like it can be something assimple as that and you just,
really just enjoying life.
It's like who you enjoying lifewith if it ain't me.
You know what I mean.
Sir Anthony (08:25):
I get those people when I say people, us as people
have those insecurities, but I'mjust like I'm not at that level
yet, so I'm like go do yourthing, have fun baby, you got
this, um, this chill that I'venever experienced before from a
man that actually cares to turnoff your care.
Chrissy A. (08:50):
That's the wrong way to say it.
I'm not going to say that.
Sir Anthony (08:53):
Like you confused me, huh.
Chrissy A. (08:54):
It's like you have a fuck it mentality, like when we
have our issues and we have ourarguments or disagreements,
like I was telling the therapistis, and I was like I'll be like
all in my head and messed up inthe other room and he just be
(09:17):
laughing, just laughing at thetv and I'll be like what the
fuck is so funny?
I'm over here miserable and youdying laughing.
Sir Anthony (09:25):
And you want me to be miserable with you.
Chrissy A. (09:27):
But I don't want you to be miserable.
I actually admire that you'relike that, like there's a sense
of I'm going to stick with myword admiration.
There's a sense of admirationthere because, I tell you, by
you being the leader of ourrelationship, well, in
(09:50):
relationships, you start tomimic the other person, so you
have qualities and traits that Idon't possess and because of
that, I'm learning from you.
I'm watching you and I'mlearning from you and,
unintentionally, I start toprohibit those same behaviors,
because I'm watching the manthat's leading our household and
(10:10):
it does make sense to not likedrag it, like I still have
chrissy there, like chrissystill exists.
But then I have hints of youwhere it's just like.
You know, just don't blow thisup right now, we'll talk about
it when it's time to talk aboutit.
Yeah, yeah, there's a time andplace for everything.
Yeah, and I this is just howI'll be feeling.
Like you know, just don't blowthis up right now, we'll talk
about it when it's time to talkabout it, yeah, yeah.
Sir Anthony (10:25):
There's a time and place for everything, and this
is just how I'll be feeling.
I'm very simple.
So this principle, this isgoing to explain that and then
moving forward.
Very simple I care about what Icare about and I don't care
about what I don't care about.
Chrissy A. (10:43):
Okay.
Sir Anthony (10:46):
I care about and I don't care about what I don't
care about.
Okay, so if it's somethingyou've seen some things where
I'd be like, where you wouldthink I would care if I don't,
then I'm not gonna put theeffort there.
When it's unimportant, but whenit's important, you'll see a
change and, you know, perk up oryou know, and if you just kind
of see those waves of thosevibes, you can be like okay,
like some things that you know,if it's water under the bridge,
(11:08):
I can't do nothing about it.
I'm.
And if you just kind of seethose waves or those vibes, you
can be like, okay, like somethings that you know, if it's
water under the bridge, I can'tdo nothing about it, I'm going
to just chuck it up.
Chrissy A. (11:15):
But if it's something to care about, then
you're going to see my attitude.
Can you give me like an exampleoh, that's a good question Like
what do you care about?
What would be something to careabout?
Sir Anthony (11:29):
And what's something like yeah, water under
the bridge.
Chrissy A. (11:31):
You know I'm a family oriented person and then
you will like call me and askcan so and so come over, can we?
Sir Anthony (11:34):
I don't care about yeah, come on.
Okay, stuff like that.
If you I'm at the point whereyou don't have to ask, I mean,
as long as I'm not here in mydrawers you walk in like, give
me a heads up, yeah, somebodycoming in with you, that kind of
thing.
But I don't care who you inviteon, because I'm pretty sure
you're going to invite somebodywho's going to.
This ain't going to be a danger.
They're going to be somebodythat's going to be with a
friends or family.
I don't care about this stuffbecause of my household, my past
(11:56):
that I grew up in.
We was, you see it, it's soinviting.
So we don't really we do careabout who's around us.
As long as their energy isright, it's not any reckless
person going to be around us.
You're not going to bring noviolence.
You're not going to disruptthis love that we have.
If you can come into this spaceof love and peace and fun and
happiness, by all means come on.
(12:17):
So, like I get it from yourperspective, like baby, can
so-and-so come over, can we do?
Chrissy A. (12:26):
I don't care.
Yeah, come on.
You know sometimes you might betired or you.
Sometimes you just don't feellike company.
You know I'm saying so.
It's always that.
Good for that heads up I getyou on that.
Sir Anthony (12:36):
I get you on that.
Yeah, just don't catch me in mydrawers.
Somebody walking in you.
You might see a surprise.
Chrissy A. (12:44):
Oh, you got the card .
Oh, lord, no, I be swinging.
Sir Anthony (12:56):
Which one I'm speaking to, that one or?
Chrissy A. (12:59):
us?
How can we support each other'sself-improvement?
Sir Anthony (13:08):
I think we're doing it in several facets already,
like with this podcast, um, withthe businesses that we work on
a daily basis and then thetherapy that we need.
So I think we're doing that.
So maybe I should like thinkabout that from a perspective of
because I think we're a couplesteps ahead of the game in that
respect what if we're not doingall this?
Who's having a couples podcastto help them talk out their
(13:31):
issues?
Black people don't go totherapy in general.
We're just starting to embracethat.
If we're coming from a spacewithout this podcast, without
the therapy, I'm going to answerfrom that perspective.
I guess it's got to be thecliche of the communication
thing and then the shamelessplug of cards like these to help
(13:52):
you open it.
Because a question like that Idon't think either one of us
would have ever just sat down,whether in good times or dinner
or whatever, and I'll just comeup with a question like that to
ask and answer.
Chrissy A. (14:07):
I would have.
You would have, yes really Iwouldn't have.
I'll be honest why you thinkthese cards exist.
Sir Anthony (14:19):
I'm just the average woman out there yeah, no
facts, because I remember.
Chrissy A. (14:24):
I remember when, before I created these cards,
there were other cards that Iutilized for dating purposes and
it was like um other womenshaded the cards oh, I got you,
I feel you and it was just likeyou use cards on your, you take
(14:49):
cards on your date, yeah, andguys loved it.
Guys loved it for the purpose of.
Sometimes, when you firstdating, it's like the, the
typical questions that youasking, and it's like what
happens after that and it justseems so cliche and it starts to
feel like every day is exactlythe same and we're getting
nowhere other than the fact thatwe're attracted to each other.
(15:11):
Like you telling me what caryou drive, what you do for a
living.
It's not telling me about you,your core values and things of
that sort and how you act incertain scenarios.
So I'm not really getting toknow the person that I want,
that I can consider a lifelongcommitment with.
So then you fall into thisspace of okay, I know, I know he
(15:33):
fine, it's hell.
I love the way he smells.
He smells real good, you know,and all those sets off, those
senses and those nerve endingsthat lead to sex, and then when
you have sex, you don't hearfrom this nigga, no more.
Or even the other way around,because women is women out there
, like that too, that will havesex with you and be like, yeah,
(15:56):
I'm good, you know what I'msaying like we not gonna act,
like we ain't in a century wherethat exists heavily now.
So, um, I feel like that therethere are.
These cards are necessary ifbecause most I know our audience
is mostly women I would say getthese.
If you're dating, notparticularly these cards, but if
(16:19):
you want these cards, that'sfine too.
But if you're dating um,actively dating and trying to
figure out, and you're lookingfor lifelong commitment,
purchase our um intentionstarter cards.
Because, yeah, the black deck,because it's like guys, when I
was dating, guys love that theydon't have to come up with
(16:41):
something out.
And I know I know, I know Iknow y'all probably thinking
like, well, they should knowwhat to talk about.
But sometimes people arenervous, sometimes people don't
know what to say and we in sucha sensitive world where it's
hard to communicate with peoplethat you don't know, you don't
know how they're going torespond, you don't know how
they're going to feel about thequestions that you asked.
Sir Anthony (17:03):
So if there's pre-prepared questions, it makes
life easier you know what I'veheard and we need to get this on
the show.
We probably have it in one ofthe other clips, but most times
when people use these cards likereally use them they so engaged
with them you only get throughwith like three questions out of
(17:26):
50 something cards yeah, sojust imagine that you can keep.
This ain't a one-time thing,this ain't a first date thing.
Keep doing this on date night,whatever.
Just bust out the cards andthen get to know your mate or
your partner at a little deeperlevel of questions that, like
you, probably wouldn't havethought about.
But my baby, she thought aboutall of it Period you want to
(17:51):
move on.
Yeah, oh, it's your turn.
Chrissy A. (17:54):
It's my turn to do it, okay.
Sir Anthony (18:00):
Do you believe in asking a father for permission
to marry his daughter?
Yes, If he's around, God blessyour father's soul.
But he's not around.
If he were, I would ask.
For me that's a no-brainer, butwe got to look at it from the
respect of this new audience.
Chrissy A. (18:23):
It's not a thing anymore.
Sir Anthony (18:25):
Yeah.
You okay, over there.
Chrissy A. (18:27):
No, yeah, yeah, I forgot.
I even created that cardBecause it's like Sigh.
It's an important card, though,because, like it shows the
(18:55):
level of care and respect thatyou have for a woman and the
father that raised her.
You know to be able to be likeno to go to him, like I want to
marry your daughter, but I don'twant to do it without you know,
you giving me your blessingsevery in regards to biblical
days.
(19:16):
That's what they did.
You couldn't get to thedaughter without, without going
through her father.
So it speaks on a sense whereyou still connected with God in
a sort, in a way sort of um like, in a way sort of um, like yeah
(19:38):
, yeah, yeah.
Sir Anthony (19:38):
So you, you y ends like eventually y'all gonna get
it together.
This is what I noticed, eventhough each generation we always
say this generation I'm worriedabout them like our parents was
worried about us because wewere couch potatoes, we watched
tv, we played video games andthey thought we was going to be
the worst generation.
And now I'm looking at thissocial media generation like, oh
(20:00):
my god, they're gonna be.
Y'all gonna be all right yeah,because in time.
Chrissy A. (20:05):
In reality, this social media generation.
I love how they speak up forthemselves, I love how outspoken
they are and they don't letpeople just push them over but
then, like, a lot of them arelazy, you know, because it's
like everybody want to beinstagram, tiktok, famous and
all of that, so there's no driveto do other things, but then
(20:29):
again, they're alsoentrepreneurial spirited, but
they just need that guidance.
You know what I mean.
So, just like you said, everyera there's going to be the
older people saying all thisgeneration, this generation.
But it's always somethingthat's so beautiful about the
generation coming up and we haveto, like, grab on onto that and
(20:51):
help them through that and Ithink the key piece of it is
like it take.
Sir Anthony (20:55):
It takes other generations longer to learn the
lessons.
It's gonna be faster for themyeah and then the generation
after them, faster for them,before you get it.
When I say get it, like thisthing called life, um, it
encompasses everything in it, sobut stop being so foolish early
on, like there's some thingsy'all can listen to pull your
(21:18):
pants up.
Definitely, pull your pants upy'all know where that came from.
I'm pretty sure y'all know.
Look it up from prison.
You're signaling that you wantsomething in your butt.
Pull Quit your pants up.
Chrissy A. (21:31):
Yeah, it's very unattractive, like I mean some
girls like it though.
Sir Anthony (21:38):
I mean.
Chrissy A. (21:39):
I think boys might like it even more If you know
what I mean Moving along.
I tried to get you to get thatone.
Sir Anthony (22:02):
Should you alter your social media image if it
makes your partner feeluncomfortable?
Um, I've done that.
I've done that in the past,meaning restricting my
personality, because I wasdealing with somebody with
insecurities.
And if they see, ok, not onlydo he look good, you know he's
doing things that look good andhe has a great personality,
(22:24):
because we both know Well a lotof people know that personality
can trump looks in most casesand so with women, women with
women.
So if a woman is looking andthey see this guy, he's got a.
He's got a great personality.
I'm about to slide in his dm,so I will restrict my
personality just to, uh, nothave that issue of having to
(22:46):
argue about this and that andwho's in my dms, and it's like
well, somebody gonna slide yourdms.
They gonna slide in your dms,like because I'm pretty sure who
you're talking about slittingyour dms, yeah I think that was
really what it was is one ofthose cases of trying to prevent
what you was doing, trying toprevent the karma yeah and one
(23:09):
thing I learned about karma oh,it's gonna come back, yeah, it's
gonna come back, fierce andwhen you least expect it.
So don't do it, so it don't bedone onto you, is my advice.
Chrissy A. (23:23):
I've had a guy tell me that I was too exposed on my
social media.
Mind you, we was not together,we hadn't even went on a first
date.
I met him online.
Sir Anthony (23:39):
He ain't got no right to say nothing.
Chrissy A. (23:40):
But he told me that if I don't change the photos on
my social media, that guys aregoing to only try to talk to me
to have sex with me.
However, even though we couldsay, well, you ain't my man, woo
, woo, woo.
I took heed to what he said andI'm just like you know what.
(24:02):
I do get a lot of attentionfrom guys that I feel like it's
not the attention that I want.
So I did alter my social media.
It wasn't because for him, itwas for me, because it didn't
align with what I wanted out ofa relationship, out of
partnership.
So in that sense, it did makesense.
Sir Anthony (24:25):
Yeah, it do make sense.
So I feel him on that, but hecame about it a little early,
but he was strong enough to saysomething like this and a lot of
these women maybe you need thatkind of advice, you thinking
that showing your ass have y'allever thought about when y'all
become grandmothers in your 50s,60s, how embarrassed your
grandkid, great grandkid goingto be, even your kids, when you
(24:47):
look up you 50, 60, they, they,homeboys, can go on the gram or
whatever platform gonna be outthen and see your ass, like your
whole ass and your pussy froman app they ass and pussy, not
out like that some of them theypussy is out like you see that.
Have it out.
You can see the print oncertain social media you can see
(25:09):
nipple prints and pussy printsand all that stuff in reality,
like we was talking about theera we live in.
Chrissy A. (25:15):
I don't think people have those thought processes of
what they grandkids gonna see,because in reality they might be
like, oh, your grandma was awas a cougar, she was a milf.
Like that's the attention thatthey gonna get.
You know what I mean.
But at the end of the day, I dofeel like that, depending on
(25:37):
what it is that they're lookingfor like your social media is
yours, so if you showing yourass that all of that is what you
want, just know the attentionthat you're going to attract
from it, like you're not to findsome wholesome God fearing man
that's going to say, oh, I wantto wife you up and make you a
(25:59):
God fearing woman.
You know, unless huh.
Sir Anthony (26:04):
Continue, cause that has happened.
Hell when we was just talkingabout making good, her divine
Franklin making good.
Chrissy A. (26:12):
It wasn't a uh uh she ain't no hoe.
Sir Anthony (26:17):
Right making you ain't no hoe that's a different
scenario.
Chrissy A. (26:21):
I'm talking about women who enjoy parading around
showing their ass, and it's notnecessarily for a man all the
time.
Some women do it because that'swhere they find their
confidence at, and if that's forthem, that's for them.
Some women probably don't evenwant a relationship or a long
term commitment.
Like I, had to come torealization that those women
(26:44):
exist, like in real life.
I'm not one of those women, butwe're not going to ignore it
like they don't exist, you knowso everybody, not for everybody
that's true no, I also asked youto alter your social media.
Sir Anthony (27:11):
What you ask me to alter.
Chrissy A. (27:12):
Because you still had your ex photo on your page.
Sir Anthony (27:14):
Oh, that was no problem to take that stuff off.
Chrissy A. (27:17):
Yeah, it was a process, though.
Sir Anthony (27:20):
It was a process, but it wasn't a problem, other
than just having like me outthere with my gray jogging pants
on and just like this, justshowing the print no, no, it was
.
Chrissy A. (27:37):
It was a thing for me at that time because social
it don't have to necessarily bethe clothes you women wearing.
I guess that's why I'm bringingit up, because altering your
social media doesn't mean likeall the time it it's something
that you're exposed wearing oryour personality that you're
showing.
On your end, it could besomething that could be
(28:00):
affecting the other personemotionally or, you know,
mentally, and it wasn't aboutinsecurity.
It's just like you're in a newbeginning, like all the old
stuff shouldn't even be,especially since it caused you a
certain level of trauma and westill healing from that trauma,
like we shouldn't even haveaccess to that, to seeing that
(28:22):
all the time.
Yeah, and I think, um, I wastalking to somebody about it
before and it was like, well,those are their memories and I'm
like I get that, but a pictureof you and your ex, it ain't
like y'all in front of theeiffel tower, it ain't like
(28:42):
you're trying to keep thepicture because of a historic
landmark, or you know what I'msaying like it's just you and
your ex posing in the camera.
So it's like no, if you want toremember that, that means you
still want it, because while weremember I got a question with
with that we're gonna solve thison the show live.
Sir Anthony (29:05):
Um, so it's one picture.
I think I did keep up that onlybecause it's with some of my
favorite rappers Shout out toSky Zoo, shout out to Fillmore
Green, but I'm like we posing inthe picture with those guys and
that's still there.
Chrissy A. (29:23):
I think you told me that.
Sir Anthony (29:25):
I'm asking again Do you want me to delete it or not
?
Chrissy A. (29:33):
I mean, for me it's like me seeing her isn't a
problem.
Me, me seeing y'all hooked uptogether is the problem, because
it's like if all my friendshave your social media channel
(29:56):
and it's me and you at the top,people be scrolling.
And then they scroll down and alittle bit after me and you,
it's you and her in the same waythat me and you are.
It's like oh, he got twobitches.
Sir Anthony (30:13):
Like no, we're not doing that, but the receipts say
like old shit.
Chrissy A. (30:17):
No, we're not doing that.
Sir Anthony (30:18):
No, I'm asking about that Like I'm with a
couple of my favorite rappers,producers.
Chrissy A. (30:23):
Now people are going to scroll and try to find the
picture just to see what your exlook like you know that right.
Sir Anthony (30:31):
It is what it is.
Chrissy A. (30:32):
So now they finna, find your ex.
They probably is gonna try.
Sir Anthony (30:34):
I've been talking about this on the show since we
started.
They probably you had no clues,though.
Chrissy A. (30:39):
You know how social media is.
Sir Anthony (30:41):
If I'm watching the show and I'm talking about this
and I see they socials, thenI'm gonna try to scroll it.
If I'm messy and nosy, okay,you watch them reality TV shows.
Chrissy A. (30:54):
You know exactly what they do.
Sir Anthony (30:56):
Okay, want to cut this piece out, mm-hmm, no, I
don't care you ready.
Wait, it's my turn, ain't it,is it yeah.
When we have different opinions, what's a good way for us to
(31:23):
find common ground?
We do that a lot.
That's what's going on in thissituation.
Chrissy A. (31:29):
Yeah, that's what I got Entire relationship honestly
.
So give the people some advicegoing on in this situation.
That's like our entirerelationship honestly so give
the people some advice um,having differences of opinions.
I feel like the way that we getaround it is like, in reality,
(31:52):
this is my thought process,right?
People say agree to disagree,right.
However, some things isn'tagreed to disagree because they
cause for action.
So it's like if I think that weshould go left and you think we
should go right, somebody gotgotta give in and either just
(32:14):
say, fuck it, you right, youknow what I'm saying.
And with that thought process,it's like I don't have to, I
don't have to be the victor ofevery conversation that we have.
Like sometimes I do give it toyou, sometimes I give it to you,
sometimes I give it to you,sometimes I give it to you,
(32:35):
sometimes I give it to you.
Sometimes I become theapologetic one that say I'm
sorry because of X, y and Z, andit's like Sometimes it can be
exhausting, but it's necessaryand I'm learning.
I'm learning slowly but surelyto pick my battles.
(32:56):
Like it's a lot of things thatI don't agree, that you would
say and I'd be like it ain'teven worth it, it ain't worth it
and it ain't even just with you.
It's in all my relationships,my friendships, like when we was
hanging out yesterday, oh, Ipicked my battles a lot
yesterday and sometimes yougotta learn.
Just shut your mouth likeeverything that you feel don't
(33:18):
need to be said this is trueyeah, so yeah, another card,
yeah, another card.
It's my pick.
Sir Anthony (33:35):
No, I got a pick.
Chrissy A. (33:37):
You just picked that .
Sir Anthony (33:39):
What you been drinking Give me some of that.
Chrissy A. (33:42):
It's so funny because he's going to go along
with this.
No, wait a minute, he's goingto go along with this.
That y'all experienced.
I'm so glad this is beingrecorded.
Y'all experienced in real timehow this works.
He literally just picked thatcard, read it, hand it to me and
I said it over here when youediting this, rewind it back and
(34:07):
show them you got it.
Sir Anthony (34:08):
You got it this time, but there's times where
that be happening on your side.
Chrissy A. (34:12):
Yes, I'm 100% believable that that happens.
Sir Anthony (34:17):
We got this on camera.
Chrissy A. (34:18):
However, we don't have me doing it on camera.
Sir Anthony (34:22):
But we gonna get it .
Chrissy A. (34:30):
Let's do a different one Nope.
Nope, can we do a different one?
Nope, can we do a different one?
I want something that's goingto like really spark.
I'm kind of going to do theintentions.
That was the same card.
Sir Anthony (34:46):
That we just did yeah.
Chrissy A. (34:47):
Yeah, what's one dream you have for our future?
Sir Anthony (34:55):
to travel the world and discover new things and
meet new people and bebillionaires, not billionaires
wealthy.
I'd rather that wealth isbetter than a monetary value,
because wealth can be anything.
Wealth can be your health,wealth can be anything.
Wealth can be your health,wealth can be your happiness, or
(35:15):
it can be monetary, to thepoint where you don't have to
worry about the rat race.
Chrissy A. (35:21):
Would you be okay if we didn't become really, really
wealthy?
Sir Anthony (35:31):
in the sense a monetarily now?
Are we struggling?
Are we back in the rat race orare we at this plateau that we
are now?
Because I don't want to stay inthis.
It's a.
It's a nice plateau.
It's disposable income, butI've been hitting my head on
(35:53):
this glass ceiling for the lastalmost 10 years and I'm tired of
.
I got a lot of bruises up there.
I want to get past that bump inmy head, so I guess I'm asking
what's the threshold?
Chrissy A. (36:11):
Well, I'm just saying like do you feel like I
would be enough?
Sir Anthony (36:18):
Monetarily.
Chrissy A. (36:19):
I'm just saying like period, because we can have
dreams that we'll be chasing andchasing it and they won't come
true.
Like for me, I would love forthis podcast to do millions and
billions and trillions ofnumbers and a lot of people get
invested into it and we createan audience that wants our
(36:41):
advice now.
But in my mind I want it to behuge.
I want to touch people all overthe world.
You know, and it's like if Inever get that, would I still
(37:02):
feel complete and happy, wouldnot have a question to yourself
but I'm asking you if we neverget it, are we actively chasing
it?
Sir Anthony (37:16):
yeah and and investing and putting our all
into it.
Now I do believe because I'vestarted multiple businesses over
my lifetime, so I know I'vebeen in businesses where pouring
into them, and then this reallyis like they say like five
years later, then boomprofitability or whatever that
that you're going after thathappens.
(37:36):
I've been in some businesseswhere early on is profitable.
You make some not so smartdecisions because you're banking
off of like.
It's like with the rappers thatcome out with a one-hit wonder,
like they got it.
They demand now they've seeneverywhere and then when it's
time to put out another song,they fall off like what happened
to so-and-so.
What happened to so-and-so?
Because you were given the gifttoo early, you didn't
(37:58):
appreciate or learn theappreciation along the journey.
So when you got it, to make itsustainable and longevity.
So I understand those dynamicsof it.
But, um, as long as I will feelgood about it because I've done
this in the past where I've putmy all into something and it
just didn't work out you justhave to let that go by the
(38:19):
wayside.
Yeah, I'm OK with that.
However, I have this gut.
You know you had that feelingthat.
Chrissy A. (38:29):
It's going to happen .
Sir Anthony (38:29):
It's going to happen and this is what I really
think might have to cut thisout the show.
I do get distracted on otherthings instead of focusing on my
core calling, because I'm aperson that likes to help other
people, so I'm helping everybodyup along with me if I just be
selfish for one moment and justfocus on my thing, get through
(38:53):
that and then come back and helpeverybody else.
I think that that's the thetest that I'm like constantly
feeling, because I'm like I'mgonna bring everybody with me
and, like my one of my favoriterappers say everybody can't go.
Chrissy A. (39:06):
Shout out to Benny yeah, what's your core calling?
Sir Anthony (39:14):
to give back.
Chrissy A. (39:16):
It's some, but you said like you want to focus on
what you want to do with themarketing company.
Sir Anthony (39:21):
So at every point it's like I get to the point
where it's profitable, it'sdoing it's thing, but I'm like,
okay, let me sit, since that'son autopilot, it's going to do
it's thing.
Then let me focus on some otherthings and bring that up along
with me.
If I just stop and focus.
That's kind of what I was doingover this weekend.
It's like a new service needsto be introduced the social
(39:43):
media service.
Chrissy A. (39:43):
Yeah.
Sir Anthony (39:44):
And it's time to put some effort into that, like
how I put into every single oneof my clients.
I feel that this is how Ireally feel about my business at
times.
Like the mechanic, you will seea mechanic that can do cold
work on your car, fix your stuff, all fine, but he had a raggedy
car.
Why?
Because he's so focused onmaking everybody else stuff
(40:05):
right he don't have the time toput into his own car and so Do
you feel like pouring into whatmy dream is kind of affects that
too?
in a sense okay, um, becauseit's also my dream too.
So it's like we're buildingthis together.
I'm pouring all of myvideography and editing and
(40:29):
marketing prowess into this.
So it's like this is my babytoo, but I don't want to just
like put this on pause and thengo.
But then again I'm like, okay,if I just went, focus only on
the marketing company and thenwe circle back around to this,
we can do this in an effectiveway.
Like how we do, we shoot abunch of podcasts and we're
(40:50):
ready for the next things, butnot like how we've been doing
lately, like it's been like alot of concentration into this,
but it's a good concentrationyeah, okay you make you feel
some kind of way a little.
Chrissy A. (41:06):
It's not a feel, some type way like because you,
expressing it to me that I feellike upset or anything, it make
me feel like um, it makes mefeel like that I should, because
(41:33):
I have.
I haven't been as invested intothe podcast as I was and it's
because I do feel that from you,like I feel like you, you would
rather just focus on what yougot going on, so I haven't been
posting on social media as muchyou know, and editing our videos
(41:56):
, because now I feel like I haveto basically pour into what
you're doing.
You know what I mean, like I.
I mean Like I have to do thatpart.
I have to be that person now.
Sir Anthony (42:11):
Why you can't balance.
Chrissy A. (42:13):
Um, because sometimes it's draining.
Sir Anthony (42:18):
Which one is draining, the marketing company
or this or both.
Chrissy A. (42:22):
Your marketing company.
Sir Anthony (42:24):
Is draining.
Chrissy A. (42:24):
Yeah, your clients are draining as fuck.
I appreciate them, you know,for the business.
But it could be, it could be alot because it's like that's,
that's like your dream and likewhen you doing your dream it
doesn't feel as like much workas doing somebody else's stream.
(42:48):
Like doing this might feel likea lot of work to you, like when
how, I always be like let'sshoot a podcast, like to me
that's fun, and you just like no, no, I had the conversation
that I want to talk.
I want us to do like talk andwhatever outside of the podcast
about things you was like, butwe do that on the podcast, like
(43:11):
we got, we got to do that towork.
So now you thinking thattalking or communicating about
certain things is work becauseof this podcast.
So it makes me feel like damn,like you know, I don't know, I
don't know.
Yeah, we'll talk about it here,yeah whose turn I lost track.
Sir Anthony (43:42):
I don't know how do you cope when you feel you're
overwhelmed?
Chrissy A. (43:50):
oh lord, I don't know how do you cope when you
feel you're overwhelmed.
Oh Lord, I feel like I justtalked about being overwhelmed.
Honestly, I just keep pushing,I just keep pushing, I just keep
pushing through it.
Like it's a lot of things thatcause me to be a little
(44:14):
overwhelmed.
Sometimes you gotta like take abreak, like take a beat and
just be like you know, I gottaset this aside for a minute and
then I watch everybody elseproblems on reality TV, laughing
, but um, and then I watcheverybody else's problems on
reality TV.
But, yeah, sometimes you justdeal with it.
(44:44):
I would say the poster boardanswer.
The perfect answer would bepray and then meditate about it.
But honestly, recently,recently, I haven't been doing
that.
I do feel like I I need to getback in tune with doing that,
because it does help a lot.
Um, and I, I don't pray as muchas I used to, I don't meditate
as much as I used to, which iswhy I probably feel more
(45:05):
overwhelmed than I normally do.
Still pray, still meditate.
It's just for shorter periodsof time than how it used to be.
So it's crazy, because we don'tlike to talk about it, but
relationships take a lot out ofsomebody.
(45:26):
We don't like to talk about it,but relationships take a lot
out of somebody.
Like it changes who you are ifyou don't stand firm in who you
are, and it's like the changecould be good and sometimes it
can be draining, sometimes itcould be unhealthy to the
(45:48):
relationship.
Before you, I was going topoetry every week.
You know I was writing a lotbefore and it's not to say it's
your fault, it's it's completelyme.
You know what I mean.
Um, I feel like I pour a lotinto our relationship that I
don't pour into the thing someof the things that I used to
(46:10):
love to do so much, even withexercising, going to the gym
three to four times a week or,um, stretching for my
flexibility to happen, like Ifeel like I feel like I kind of
like put those things on theback burner and it's just like
more so.
(46:30):
Oh, I got a man.
I love this man, I want to beunder this man.
I'm gonna cook for this man,I'm gonna make sure the things
that you know make sure he feelsat peace in his home because he
invited me here.
So it's like, oh, you got clean, you got to make sure this is.
You know, that's what my minddoes.
It doesn't do.
Let's write a poem, let'srelease some of this energy.
(46:52):
It doesn't do that right now.
So, like the past week, I'vebeen out a lot with my friends
because it makes me feel likeI'm getting a sense of myself,
the the self I was before you,if that makes sense.
Sir Anthony (47:10):
It's all about balance.
And then for me I believe inseasons.
So, and I know my seasons andcycles.
So, like I told you, like weused to work out together in the
summer, but that was the season, but that was the season.
So right now, this is for meevery December, january is the
(47:33):
dip in business, but theneverybody has their New Year's
resolutions.
They want to come back and doeverything bigger and better.
So I start getting clientsaround this time.
So right now I head in the dirtlike an ostrich and start to do
all of the work, so then aroundspring can reap the fruits of
those.
So I know my season.
(47:53):
So the workout seasons for medon't start back to going hard
spring to summer, and I knowthat doesn't work.
Chrissy A. (48:00):
So we're just getting fat all winter Me, not
him, because he doesn't gain anyweight.
Sir Anthony (48:06):
And I know my body and my metabolism.
It's like what comes in mybody's just going to work on it
instantly.
Yeah, and use it for fuel orthe rest got to go.
Chrissy A. (48:19):
But even in that sense, like your cycle is your
cycle and mine is mine, so it'slike, even though that's how
your process worked, I wasworking out and you didn't even
exist in my life.
So I technically don't need youto work out.
My mind just needs to go backto just because you in a
relationship doesn't mean thatyou're not an individual, and I
(48:42):
I've been struggling with thatand recently coming back into
that, because you see, now Ijust get up and I start
stretching now and I do my ownthing.
And I went out with Elena oneday, the next day I was with E
and then the next day we stayedat dance practice.
You know what I'm saying.
So I'm slowly creating myindividual ism that's a word,
(49:07):
right.
So I'm slowly creating myindividualism that's a word,
right.
It feel like it is.
Sir Anthony (49:11):
It is.
Chrissy A. (49:11):
I feel like it's a word.
Yeah, I'm getting back to that.
So, yeah, don't lose yourselfin your relationships, because
we tend to do that.
We tend to lose who we are.
And it's not to say that yourrelationship is like bad, like
you don't have to be in anabusive, messed up relationship
(49:33):
to lose yourself.
Sometimes we start to dependwithout knowing.
We start to depend on the otherperson all the time, like, oh,
I want to go to the store, canyou go to the store with me?
And then it's just like youwasn't here when I was going to
the store by myself.
I'm good, but I'm definitelygonna call your ass until you
(49:54):
come get these groceries out thecar.
That's the benefit of thepartnership.
okay, we find the benefits ofpartnership and we make that
work well said so I did want totalk about one more topic before
(50:16):
we like close out and know itdoesn't have anything to do with
the beyond dating cards, whichyou guys should definitely go
purchase because that was lightwork.
That wasn't the work that makeyou sweat.
Some of these cards in heregonna make you sweat don't tell
them that then they won't buy it.
Sir Anthony (50:33):
No that you need to make these niggas sweat for my
guys and see for my guys, if Igotta answer these questions
that's gonna put the beads on myhead they might make the women
sweat too.
Chrissy A. (50:43):
Your intentions, but it's better to get to those
questions in the dating phaserather than get in it in the
after the honeymoon phase.
Sir Anthony (50:55):
Speaking of you, don't want to go on a date and
then you realize that sistergirl only got one hand I'm not
gonna play with you she wasbogus, though she should have
told the man like you know, Ijust have a little something,
I'm fine, but I just got alittle something going on.
Are we still?
Is that something that you canlook past, or is this a deal
(51:17):
breaker?
And let that man be honest likenah, sister, I can't do that.
Like well, he be like you knowwhat.
I don't care.
Chrissy A. (51:25):
Come on, let's go out, he could have eventually
bought her a new hand, aprosthetic I think she knows
more about those programs to geta prosthetic than him anyways.
Um, speaking of honeymoon phase,when you are exiting the
(51:48):
honeymoon phase, there's like acertain drop in the relationship
that happens when you get intothe comfortability stage.
They feel like dating isn't asimportant as it used to be, or
it's not that it isn't important, it's just like I got you now.
(52:09):
So I think that thing happened.
So I want to talk a little bitabout the importance of
continuing to date while you'rein a relationship, even after
the honeymoon phase I'm gonnaanswer two ways because I'm
biased.
Sir Anthony (52:25):
And then I gotta like, erase my bias and answer
it like how you know, somebodywant to connect in the audience.
So for me, I don't believe in.
You got to stop courting yourwoman throughout.
So like that's the fun part ofall of this.
So like, if you notice what wedo, like we go out, whether it
be you know, whether it be alittle lounge or club or
(52:46):
whatever, or it just be couplesthing, or it just be like I own
the thing, or even if it's justlike karaoke, whatever capacity
it is, whether it's packed inthere or it's just us in there,
like I.
Like that, that's the fun partabout being what you want.
When you want to go out, getdressed up, eat, have a good
(53:10):
time and that's like a, that's anormal part of my.
If I don't do that as much,then I start to feel like, damn,
that's just me, that's the biaspart of it.
But there's some people that arelike, okay, I did all of this
in the beginning to get a.
Like now it's time to Netflixand chill.
Or like, well, we got to do allof that.
Like bro, listen to me, frombrother to brother, you gonna
(53:32):
have to keep courting your womanlike because if you don't you
run the risk of that complacencyand then she'd be like damn she
.
It's almost like yourrepresentative came out after
the fact.
This is the person who you areand if that's who you are, you
should have came in a door thatway.
To be honest, if you're not aperson that's going to go out
(53:54):
and court her, buy her nicethings, take her shopping, that
kind of thing, don't try to dothat to get her Be who you are
in the beginning.
If that ain't good enough, thenthat means y'all not aligned.
And if that ain't good enough,then that mean y'all not aligned
.
But if you see that assomething like okay, this is a
wake-up call, like I came in thedoor doing this, then perhaps I
should keep doing this.
It ain't got to be probably asoften as you were going through
(54:17):
the door, but you're going tohave to keep some kind of
cadence with that, becauseshe'll see that She'll complain
about that.
And if you're bucking like man,she tripping she, she'll see
that She'll complain about that.
And if you're bucking like man,she tripping, she always want
to do X, y, she might open thedoor to that nigga in the DMs
that's willing to take her tothese places, and better than
(54:37):
that.
Actually, we'll be willing todo that, and that's my advice to
you, brother.
Chrissy A. (54:42):
Yeah, there should be a distinction between what is
dating and what's not in arelationship Because, like,
everything you said was likereal, like, yeah, we go to the
(55:02):
bar, we go to karaoke, we dothose things.
We would go get something toeat, you know, sit down and eat
a lot.
We don't do fun stuff, you knowwe have but you did.
Sir Anthony (55:12):
They have been in your book fewer and far between.
I know what you're getting at.
We ain't been to that vr roomyet no, check it out, ladies.
Chrissy A. (55:20):
This is what I've been doing every time.
I see, I've been telling himI've been wanting to go do vr.
I'm like a nerdy type of girl,so I like to do like fun, fun
things.
I like laser tag, I like videogames, like I'm like that type
of girl so I'm like I want to goto VR, I want to go do this at
(55:41):
VR.
And he's like, okay, and I feellike he hears me, but I that
that I would have to make ithappen for it to happen and not
saying that I have to pay for it.
I have to grab your card,schedule it for it to happen for
us to actively go on.
Sir Anthony (55:57):
That's not the case .
Chrissy A. (55:58):
Every it's been bad timing hold on because it's like
bad timing is crazy the lasttime we was trying to go, it was
booked up.
Sir Anthony (56:06):
Because of what holiday?
Chrissy A. (56:08):
it was my birthday and what was?
Sir Anthony (56:10):
what's your?
Chrissy A. (56:11):
but.
But we could have been did itthough that's true but wait a
minute.
So I, every time I saw a videoof vr, I would share it and send
it to his phone, nudge nudge weneed to go to do this vr thing
(56:37):
because I really want to go andI I believe that we're gonna go.
Yeah, I feel like we would havewent sooner if I would have paid
for it to happen with your card, I feel like.
But I refuse to do that becauseI want to feel, like you said,
courted.
I want to feel like that youplanned the date and you see
what I'm saying, fellas?
Sir Anthony (56:55):
I'm slacking and lacking over here, so I'm going
to check our DMs.
So if that little goofy niggagoing to our DMs like I take you
to the DI shop, baby, I'm goingto respond back to his ass.
So, like I got to step it up.
This is what I'm talking about.
Step it up, fellas, because I'mslacking, so you slacking and
we slacking together, so get ourshit together.
Chrissy A. (57:17):
So, yeah, period.
So the importance of dating,even after the honeymoon phase.
It builds a level of intimacyand a connection.
Like our therapist asks, how doyou guys connect with each
other?
You know I'm saying it buildsthat level of connection.
It puts you in a a space likeif you're doing something fun or
(57:38):
that the other person likes todo, you can actually have tough
conversations in that spacebecause it's like now we're more
relaxed, our brain is like morerelaxed and now we can have
those conversations that if wewas cooped up in the house
irritated by each other, it willgo a completely different way.
You know what I mean.
So there are very, a lot ofdifferent benefits of continuing
(58:05):
to date, even outside of justbecause you want to date it.
It builds that strong bondbetween you and your partner.
It it helps you to get to knoweach other on different levels
of life and life's experiences,like I definitely want to do
(58:26):
escape room with you and I likedoing escape room because you
see how people's minds work.
You know, like if you was inthis situation where the time
was running out and this is thequestion I was asked, what are
you going to think, you know, orwhat are you going to grab?
What are you going to do?
So, like, I'm excited to gothis, these adventurous dating
(58:48):
journeys with you, like yeah,we've done the bar, we've done
restaurants, we've done typicaldating experiences, but when it
gets to Chrissy's dating worldand then, like we always date
with your family, they arehomies yeah, but you know it's
(59:10):
cool today without them I'msending this video to you.
To them, they blacklisting Iwould really actually love to do
like the vr with your family inthe um escape room with your
family and stuff like that.
Like that would be cool, becool.
But like let's, do you've seenGhost, the movie Ghost, where
(59:30):
they mold in the clay?
They got the downtown.
Sir Anthony (59:35):
We can do that together you know it's one of
them, beverly, too.
Chrissy A. (59:38):
Yeah, see, we can do stuff like that together and
that could be just me and youtype thing where we bond with
just us, gotcha, yeah, me andyou type thing where we bond
with just us.
Sir Anthony (59:54):
Gotcha, yeah, gotcha, do you have any closing
remarks?
Or, fellas, step your game up,or else, that's all I got to say
or else it really is, or elsebecause what's gonna happen?
There's a process with this.
You'll keep throwing nudges andthen you'll complain.
And then, when she stopscomplaining, oh, that's when you
worry.
That's when it's time to worry.
We so stupid that we don't evenknow, like, oh, I can't believe
(01:00:15):
she's not complaining no more,but she already checked out and
out the door.
Chrissy A. (01:00:18):
Yeah, I mean because in reality, I can do.
I can just grab your card anddo these things with my friends,
but I'd rather do them with you.
You know, like I really want tobuild that level of intimacy
with you.
So, yeah, I would really lovefor the people that do watch
(01:00:39):
this and watch it all the waythrough like, give us some
topics that you want to hear ustalk about.
Like, even if you don't want togo on the website, I will
recommend that you guys go onthe website to our X pure
intentions page and put submitsomething that you want us to
(01:01:02):
give you advice on.
Like, I absolutely love givingadvice all day.
I love giving advice.
My friends call me for advice.
I call them for advice.
Like, we are a community thatneed each other, so lean on us
for advice.
Um, also, if you want, ifyou're watching this on youtube,
(01:01:22):
comment down below of topicsthat you want to hear us talk
about.
That you feel like is somewherewhere we can give advice for
intentional relationships.
Yeah, that's all I have today.
Sir Anthony (01:01:41):
Until next time.
Chrissy A. (01:01:42):
Period.
Thank you for watching.
How would you feel if I felt uncomfortable with
what you wear?
Chrissy A. (00:05):
That can be acts of a man too, because y'all got
them great jogging pants.
And, baby, when you be puttingon them great jogging pants,
thinking you finna run someerrands without me, it's
absolutely insane.
Welcome to the Pure IntentionsPodcast, where real love, raw
emotions and intentionalrelationships come together.
(00:26):
Welcome back to the PureIntentions podcast, where we
talk everything relationshipfrom an intentional point of
view.
I am your host, chrissy A.
Sir Anthony (00:34):
I'm your co-host, sir Anthony.
Chrissy A. (00:36):
And today we are going to get inspiration from
our Beyond Dating cards that youguys should have purchased by
now, but if you haven't, you cango on our website at
yourintentions314.com.
And you can purchase our beyonddating cards.
This is for the couples thatare actually committed in a
relationship and just want to,like you know, keep that little
(01:00):
spark alive with opening up thecommunication.
So let's just get someinspiration from it, you ready?
I'm ready okay, I'm gonnashuffle it up a little bit for
you.
Oh, I accidentally left theinstructions in there.
It comes with instructions.
(01:21):
It comes with instructions.
These are nice hefty cards.
They strong, okay.
Okay, pick a card, any card,that one, that one spoke to you
Mm-hmm Okay.
Sir Anthony (01:37):
So this is me saying it to you so you mean you
first.
Chrissy A. (01:41):
However, we want to play.
If you want to do it like that,it's a shoot or puller.
Sir Anthony (01:45):
Let me change it around around.
I'm not going to read itverbatim because I think this is
a question that should be askedto a woman.
So how would you feel if I feltuncomfortable with what you
wear?
Chrissy A. (01:57):
that can be acts of a man too, because y'all got
them great jogging pants.
And, baby, when you be puttingon them gray jogging pants,
thinking you, finna, run someerrands without me, it's
absolutely insane really yeah.
Sir Anthony (02:12):
So what should I do in that case?
Chrissy A. (02:15):
put on something different really yeah.
Sir Anthony (02:18):
So to all the fellas that's wearing the light
gray jogging pants they justshouldn't buy them.
Chrissy A. (02:23):
Why not, Unless they just wearing them for they
significant other.
That's just my perspective.
I didn't realize how deep itwas because I heard the gray
jogging pants thing.
But that day that you threwthem jogging pants on and I was
minding my business and you'relike, baby, I'm going to be
right back.
(02:43):
And I looked up and I'm like beright back where.
Sir Anthony (02:49):
That's true.
Chrissy A. (02:50):
So I didn't know the extent to the gray jogging
pants until I experienced it inreal time.
Sir Anthony (02:55):
Okay.
Chrissy A. (02:56):
So that question is for you too.
Sir Anthony (02:57):
Okay, so I'll read it verbatim how would you handle
feeling uncomfortable with whatI wear?
That's what it said, but Ichanged it.
So, with the gray jogging pants, it's a no without you.
Chrissy A. (03:08):
It's a no without me .
Okay, yeah, all right, yourturn.
I ain't feeling that way at all.
Sir Anthony (03:14):
But if I'm wearing them around you, then what?
Chrissy A. (03:19):
It's a party.
Sir Anthony (03:34):
Okay, how important is personal space to you?
It's important, I know.
On one of the podcasts youasked me that and I was like
long as I get to go down andthat still holds true.
I ain't got one boy, terry.
Shout out to my boy, terry andindy, um, the little time that I
do take and what I'm spendingwith the very few guys that I
call friends or family, or whenyou take your outing, and then I
have the whole place to myselfin peace.
Chrissy A. (03:55):
It feels good, don't it?
It feels good.
So we were supposed to go seeKimora this weekend, right?
And I'm like no, babe can go.
You know, I want to be thereand I thought you were really
going to go and I'm like, oh,I'm going to have the apartment
to myself for the whole weekend,like I was excited about that,
(04:18):
yeah, okay no, I wasn't kickingyou out because I wanted to be
there too.
I love my personal space.
I love when you know we cantake that time apart.
I love the fact that you don'tcall me bugging me where you at
what you doing when I am goingaway.
It shows a level of trust andyou know that feels good.
(04:41):
You know to not think that, oh,why is she taking so long?
What's she doing?
Or even the fact that, likeyesterday, you had somewhere to
go and my friends like we ain'tready for you to leave yet, and
I'm just like, well, I gotta gethome to my man, and it was like
you always get him.
And I'm like, well, you knowit's somebody's birthday.
(05:03):
However, I was enjoyingspending time with them and, in
fact, you're like, okay, well,it's cool, just long, she back
by 11, it's fine, like I.
I love that we're able to dothat, because it's a lot of
people that don't know how toseparate and detach.
They feel like they have to doevery single thing together yeah
(05:24):
, and that is not healthy at all.
So guys need guy times with theguys and then they need alone
time just with themselves forpersonal peace, and vice versa,
yeah, so I think that it's likea fear associated with that,
when you've been heartbroken somany times or you've been done
(05:46):
wrong so many times, or you havetrusted somebody, and then it's
like I've given this person mytrust prior to you, and when I
did that they fucked me over,yeah, and then it's like I have
to relive that and give somebodyelse my trust.
It's not that I don't want totrust you.
(06:07):
It's like it's hard for me too,because I have trauma still
there from my previousrelationships.
Sir Anthony (06:14):
Yeah, I understand that, but to me and that's what
I feel correct me if I'm wrongthat's like a normal cycle where
, if you guys' trust was brokenin the last relationship
especially if it was a repeatthing and you're in something
new and you're starting to getthose spidey senses of okay,
you're doing stuff a littledifferent, you're moving a
little different, so it startsto do a trigger With me.
(06:39):
I don't want to relive thosetraumas.
I want to be able to trust whoI'm with and if I'm having that
in spidey senses, then that'sgoing to accelerate me like
figuring out what's going onreally early, instead of, like
in the past, I, you know, gavethem more benefits, I gave them
more shot, them more bail thanthey should have been shot, and
(07:02):
it was fucked up on me in theend because, like, I went this
long without stopping what wasgoing on when I saw the signs in
my face yeah, and realizing whoyour partner is, because you
know how they say.
Chrissy A. (07:13):
You tend to date the same person over and over again
because you don't learn alesson from the past
relationship.
But sometimes I think weconfuse it because we have these
like things that people saywhat I just said, those little
sayings, and they confuse us tothink like, oh well, this is
(07:34):
probably the same shit I wentthrough in a past relationship.
But no, it's a different person, it's a different vibe.
You can now approach thesituation different.
Like you just said, I know whenmy spidey senses are tingling.
Now I'm finna open this line ofcommunication and have this
conversation with you, a healthyconversation with you, not an
(07:55):
accusation type of conversation,because it is hard to trust
when you lost trust, even ifit's with a new person.
And you start to see, becauseit can be as simple as going
outside, like how I was outsideall day.
You know.
Like you didn't blow me up, youknow what I'm saying.
(08:15):
Like it can be something assimple as that and you just,
really just enjoying life.
It's like who you enjoying lifewith if it ain't me.
You know what I mean.
Sir Anthony (08:25):
I get those people when I say people, us as people
have those insecurities, but I'mjust like I'm not at that level
yet, so I'm like go do yourthing, have fun baby, you got
this, um, this chill that I'venever experienced before from a
man that actually cares to turnoff your care.
Chrissy A. (08:50):
That's the wrong way to say it.
I'm not going to say that.
Sir Anthony (08:53):
Like you confused me, huh.
Chrissy A. (08:54):
It's like you have a fuck it mentality, like when we
have our issues and we have ourarguments or disagreements,
like I was telling the therapistis, and I was like I'll be like
all in my head and messed up inthe other room and he just be
(09:17):
laughing, just laughing at thetv and I'll be like what the
fuck is so funny?
I'm over here miserable and youdying laughing.
Sir Anthony (09:25):
And you want me to be miserable with you.
Chrissy A. (09:27):
But I don't want you to be miserable.
I actually admire that you'relike that, like there's a sense
of I'm going to stick with myword admiration.
There's a sense of admirationthere because, I tell you, by
you being the leader of ourrelationship, well, in
(09:50):
relationships, you start tomimic the other person, so you
have qualities and traits that Idon't possess and because of
that, I'm learning from you.
I'm watching you and I'mlearning from you and,
unintentionally, I start toprohibit those same behaviors,
because I'm watching the manthat's leading our household and
(10:10):
it does make sense to not likedrag it, like I still have
chrissy there, like chrissystill exists.
But then I have hints of youwhere it's just like.
You know, just don't blow thisup right now, we'll talk about
it when it's time to talk aboutit.
Yeah, yeah, there's a time andplace for everything.
Yeah, and I this is just howI'll be feeling.
Like you know, just don't blowthis up right now, we'll talk
about it when it's time to talkabout it, yeah, yeah.
Sir Anthony (10:25):
There's a time and place for everything, and this
is just how I'll be feeling.
I'm very simple.
So this principle, this isgoing to explain that and then
moving forward.
Very simple I care about what Icare about and I don't care
about what I don't care about.
Chrissy A. (10:43):
Okay.
Sir Anthony (10:46):
I care about and I don't care about what I don't
care about.
Okay, so if it's somethingyou've seen some things where
I'd be like, where you wouldthink I would care if I don't,
then I'm not gonna put theeffort there.
When it's unimportant, but whenit's important, you'll see a
change and, you know, perk up oryou know, and if you just kind
of see those waves of thosevibes, you can be like okay,
like some things that you know,if it's water under the bridge,
(11:08):
I can't do nothing about it.
I'm.
And if you just kind of seethose waves or those vibes, you
can be like, okay, like somethings that you know, if it's
water under the bridge, I can'tdo nothing about it, I'm going
to just chuck it up.
Chrissy A. (11:15):
But if it's something to care about, then
you're going to see my attitude.
Can you give me like an exampleoh, that's a good question Like
what do you care about?
What would be something to careabout?
Sir Anthony (11:29):
And what's something like yeah, water under
the bridge.
Chrissy A. (11:31):
You know I'm a family oriented person and then
you will like call me and askcan so and so come over, can we?
Sir Anthony (11:34):
I don't care about yeah, come on.
Okay, stuff like that.
If you I'm at the point whereyou don't have to ask, I mean,
as long as I'm not here in mydrawers you walk in like, give
me a heads up, yeah, somebodycoming in with you, that kind of
thing.
But I don't care who you inviteon, because I'm pretty sure
you're going to invite somebodywho's going to.
This ain't going to be a danger.
They're going to be somebodythat's going to be with a
friends or family.
I don't care about this stuffbecause of my household, my past
(11:56):
that I grew up in.
We was, you see it, it's soinviting.
So we don't really we do careabout who's around us.
As long as their energy isright, it's not any reckless
person going to be around us.
You're not going to bring noviolence.
You're not going to disruptthis love that we have.
If you can come into this spaceof love and peace and fun and
happiness, by all means come on.
(12:17):
So, like I get it from yourperspective, like baby, can
so-and-so come over, can we do?
Chrissy A. (12:26):
I don't care.
Yeah, come on.
You know sometimes you might betired or you.
Sometimes you just don't feellike company.
You know I'm saying so.
It's always that.
Good for that heads up I getyou on that.
Sir Anthony (12:36):
I get you on that.
Yeah, just don't catch me in mydrawers.
Somebody walking in you.
You might see a surprise.
Chrissy A. (12:44):
Oh, you got the card .
Oh, lord, no, I be swinging.
Sir Anthony (12:56):
Which one I'm speaking to, that one or?
Chrissy A. (12:59):
us?
How can we support each other'sself-improvement?
Sir Anthony (13:08):
I think we're doing it in several facets already,
like with this podcast, um, withthe businesses that we work on
a daily basis and then thetherapy that we need.
So I think we're doing that.
So maybe I should like thinkabout that from a perspective of
because I think we're a couplesteps ahead of the game in that
respect what if we're not doingall this?
Who's having a couples podcastto help them talk out their
(13:31):
issues?
Black people don't go totherapy in general.
We're just starting to embracethat.
If we're coming from a spacewithout this podcast, without
the therapy, I'm going to answerfrom that perspective.
I guess it's got to be thecliche of the communication
thing and then the shamelessplug of cards like these to help
(13:52):
you open it.
Because a question like that Idon't think either one of us
would have ever just sat down,whether in good times or dinner
or whatever, and I'll just comeup with a question like that to
ask and answer.
Chrissy A. (14:07):
I would have.
You would have, yes really Iwouldn't have.
I'll be honest why you thinkthese cards exist.
Sir Anthony (14:19):
I'm just the average woman out there yeah, no
facts, because I remember.
Chrissy A. (14:24):
I remember when, before I created these cards,
there were other cards that Iutilized for dating purposes and
it was like um other womenshaded the cards oh, I got you,
I feel you and it was just likeyou use cards on your, you take
(14:49):
cards on your date, yeah, andguys loved it.
Guys loved it for the purpose of.
Sometimes, when you firstdating, it's like the, the
typical questions that youasking, and it's like what
happens after that and it justseems so cliche and it starts to
feel like every day is exactlythe same and we're getting
nowhere other than the fact thatwe're attracted to each other.
(15:11):
Like you telling me what caryou drive, what you do for a
living.
It's not telling me about you,your core values and things of
that sort and how you act incertain scenarios.
So I'm not really getting toknow the person that I want,
that I can consider a lifelongcommitment with.
So then you fall into thisspace of okay, I know, I know he
(15:33):
fine, it's hell.
I love the way he smells.
He smells real good, you know,and all those sets off, those
senses and those nerve endingsthat lead to sex, and then when
you have sex, you don't hearfrom this nigga, no more.
Or even the other way around,because women is women out there
, like that too, that will havesex with you and be like, yeah,
(15:56):
I'm good, you know what I'msaying like we not gonna act,
like we ain't in a century wherethat exists heavily now.
So, um, I feel like that therethere are.
These cards are necessary ifbecause most I know our audience
is mostly women I would say getthese.
If you're dating, notparticularly these cards, but if
(16:19):
you want these cards, that'sfine too.
But if you're dating um,actively dating and trying to
figure out, and you're lookingfor lifelong commitment,
purchase our um intentionstarter cards.
Because, yeah, the black deck,because it's like guys, when I
was dating, guys love that theydon't have to come up with
(16:41):
something out.
And I know I know, I know Iknow y'all probably thinking
like, well, they should knowwhat to talk about.
But sometimes people arenervous, sometimes people don't
know what to say and we in sucha sensitive world where it's
hard to communicate with peoplethat you don't know, you don't
know how they're going torespond, you don't know how
they're going to feel about thequestions that you asked.
Sir Anthony (17:03):
So if there's pre-prepared questions, it makes
life easier you know what I'veheard and we need to get this on
the show.
We probably have it in one ofthe other clips, but most times
when people use these cards likereally use them they so engaged
with them you only get throughwith like three questions out of
(17:26):
50 something cards yeah, sojust imagine that you can keep.
This ain't a one-time thing,this ain't a first date thing.
Keep doing this on date night,whatever.
Just bust out the cards andthen get to know your mate or
your partner at a little deeperlevel of questions that, like
you, probably wouldn't havethought about.
But my baby, she thought aboutall of it Period you want to
(17:51):
move on.
Yeah, oh, it's your turn.
Chrissy A. (17:54):
It's my turn to do it, okay.
Sir Anthony (18:00):
Do you believe in asking a father for permission
to marry his daughter?
Yes, If he's around, God blessyour father's soul.
But he's not around.
If he were, I would ask.
For me that's a no-brainer, butwe got to look at it from the
respect of this new audience.
Chrissy A. (18:23):
It's not a thing anymore.
Sir Anthony (18:25):
Yeah.
You okay, over there.
Chrissy A. (18:27):
No, yeah, yeah, I forgot.
I even created that cardBecause it's like Sigh.
It's an important card, though,because, like it shows the
(18:55):
level of care and respect thatyou have for a woman and the
father that raised her.
You know to be able to be likeno to go to him, like I want to
marry your daughter, but I don'twant to do it without you know,
you giving me your blessingsevery in regards to biblical
days.
(19:16):
That's what they did.
You couldn't get to thedaughter without, without going
through her father.
So it speaks on a sense whereyou still connected with God in
a sort, in a way sort of um like, in a way sort of um, like yeah
(19:38):
, yeah, yeah.
Sir Anthony (19:38):
So you, you y ends like eventually y'all gonna get
it together.
This is what I noticed, eventhough each generation we always
say this generation I'm worriedabout them like our parents was
worried about us because wewere couch potatoes, we watched
tv, we played video games andthey thought we was going to be
the worst generation.
And now I'm looking at thissocial media generation like, oh
(20:00):
my god, they're gonna be.
Y'all gonna be all right yeah,because in time.
Chrissy A. (20:05):
In reality, this social media generation.
I love how they speak up forthemselves, I love how outspoken
they are and they don't letpeople just push them over but
then, like, a lot of them arelazy, you know, because it's
like everybody want to beinstagram, tiktok, famous and
all of that, so there's no driveto do other things, but then
(20:29):
again, they're alsoentrepreneurial spirited, but
they just need that guidance.
You know what I mean.
So, just like you said, everyera there's going to be the
older people saying all thisgeneration, this generation.
But it's always somethingthat's so beautiful about the
generation coming up and we haveto, like, grab on onto that and
(20:51):
help them through that and Ithink the key piece of it is
like it take.
Sir Anthony (20:55):
It takes other generations longer to learn the
lessons.
It's gonna be faster for themyeah and then the generation
after them, faster for them,before you get it.
When I say get it, like thisthing called life, um, it
encompasses everything in it, sobut stop being so foolish early
on, like there's some thingsy'all can listen to pull your
(21:18):
pants up.
Definitely, pull your pants upy'all know where that came from.
I'm pretty sure y'all know.
Look it up from prison.
You're signaling that you wantsomething in your butt.
Pull Quit your pants up.
Chrissy A. (21:31):
Yeah, it's very unattractive, like I mean some
girls like it though.
Sir Anthony (21:38):
I mean.
Chrissy A. (21:39):
I think boys might like it even more If you know
what I mean Moving along.
I tried to get you to get thatone.
Sir Anthony (22:02):
Should you alter your social media image if it
makes your partner feeluncomfortable?
Um, I've done that.
I've done that in the past,meaning restricting my
personality, because I wasdealing with somebody with
insecurities.
And if they see, ok, not onlydo he look good, you know he's
doing things that look good andhe has a great personality,
(22:24):
because we both know Well a lotof people know that personality
can trump looks in most casesand so with women, women with
women.
So if a woman is looking andthey see this guy, he's got a.
He's got a great personality.
I'm about to slide in his dm,so I will restrict my
personality just to, uh, nothave that issue of having to
(22:46):
argue about this and that andwho's in my dms, and it's like
well, somebody gonna slide yourdms.
They gonna slide in your dms,like because I'm pretty sure who
you're talking about slittingyour dms, yeah I think that was
really what it was is one ofthose cases of trying to prevent
what you was doing, trying toprevent the karma yeah and one
(23:09):
thing I learned about karma oh,it's gonna come back, yeah, it's
gonna come back, fierce andwhen you least expect it.
So don't do it, so it don't bedone onto you, is my advice.
Chrissy A. (23:23):
I've had a guy tell me that I was too exposed on my
social media.
Mind you, we was not together,we hadn't even went on a first
date.
I met him online.
Sir Anthony (23:39):
He ain't got no right to say nothing.
Chrissy A. (23:40):
But he told me that if I don't change the photos on
my social media, that guys aregoing to only try to talk to me
to have sex with me.
However, even though we couldsay, well, you ain't my man, woo
, woo, woo.
I took heed to what he said andI'm just like you know what.
(24:02):
I do get a lot of attentionfrom guys that I feel like it's
not the attention that I want.
So I did alter my social media.
It wasn't because for him, itwas for me, because it didn't
align with what I wanted out ofa relationship, out of
partnership.
So in that sense, it did makesense.
Sir Anthony (24:25):
Yeah, it do make sense.
So I feel him on that, but hecame about it a little early,
but he was strong enough to saysomething like this and a lot of
these women maybe you need thatkind of advice, you thinking
that showing your ass have y'allever thought about when y'all
become grandmothers in your 50s,60s, how embarrassed your
grandkid, great grandkid goingto be, even your kids, when you
(24:47):
look up you 50, 60, they, they,homeboys, can go on the gram or
whatever platform gonna be outthen and see your ass, like your
whole ass and your pussy froman app they ass and pussy, not
out like that some of them theypussy is out like you see that.
Have it out.
You can see the print oncertain social media you can see
(25:09):
nipple prints and pussy printsand all that stuff in reality,
like we was talking about theera we live in.
Chrissy A. (25:15):
I don't think people have those thought processes of
what they grandkids gonna see,because in reality they might be
like, oh, your grandma was awas a cougar, she was a milf.
Like that's the attention thatthey gonna get.
You know what I mean.
But at the end of the day, I dofeel like that, depending on
(25:37):
what it is that they're lookingfor like your social media is
yours, so if you showing yourass that all of that is what you
want, just know the attentionthat you're going to attract
from it, like you're not to findsome wholesome God fearing man
that's going to say, oh, I wantto wife you up and make you a
(25:59):
God fearing woman.
You know, unless huh.
Sir Anthony (26:04):
Continue, cause that has happened.
Hell when we was just talkingabout making good, her divine
Franklin making good.
Chrissy A. (26:12):
It wasn't a uh uh she ain't no hoe.
Sir Anthony (26:17):
Right making you ain't no hoe that's a different
scenario.
Chrissy A. (26:21):
I'm talking about women who enjoy parading around
showing their ass, and it's notnecessarily for a man all the
time.
Some women do it because that'swhere they find their
confidence at, and if that's forthem, that's for them.
Some women probably don't evenwant a relationship or a long
term commitment.
Like I, had to come torealization that those women
(26:44):
exist, like in real life.
I'm not one of those women, butwe're not going to ignore it
like they don't exist, you knowso everybody, not for everybody
that's true no, I also asked youto alter your social media.
Sir Anthony (27:11):
What you ask me to alter.
Chrissy A. (27:12):
Because you still had your ex photo on your page.
Sir Anthony (27:14):
Oh, that was no problem to take that stuff off.
Chrissy A. (27:17):
Yeah, it was a process, though.
Sir Anthony (27:20):
It was a process, but it wasn't a problem, other
than just having like me outthere with my gray jogging pants
on and just like this, justshowing the print no, no, it was
.
Chrissy A. (27:37):
It was a thing for me at that time because social
it don't have to necessarily bethe clothes you women wearing.
I guess that's why I'm bringingit up, because altering your
social media doesn't mean likeall the time it it's something
that you're exposed wearing oryour personality that you're
showing.
On your end, it could besomething that could be
(28:00):
affecting the other personemotionally or, you know,
mentally, and it wasn't aboutinsecurity.
It's just like you're in a newbeginning, like all the old
stuff shouldn't even be,especially since it caused you a
certain level of trauma and westill healing from that trauma,
like we shouldn't even haveaccess to that, to seeing that
(28:22):
all the time.
Yeah, and I think, um, I wastalking to somebody about it
before and it was like, well,those are their memories and I'm
like I get that, but a pictureof you and your ex, it ain't
like y'all in front of theeiffel tower, it ain't like
(28:42):
you're trying to keep thepicture because of a historic
landmark, or you know what I'msaying like it's just you and
your ex posing in the camera.
So it's like no, if you want toremember that, that means you
still want it, because while weremember I got a question with
with that we're gonna solve thison the show live.
Sir Anthony (29:05):
Um, so it's one picture.
I think I did keep up that onlybecause it's with some of my
favorite rappers Shout out toSky Zoo, shout out to Fillmore
Green, but I'm like we posing inthe picture with those guys and
that's still there.
Chrissy A. (29:23):
I think you told me that.
Sir Anthony (29:25):
I'm asking again Do you want me to delete it or not
?
Chrissy A. (29:33):
I mean, for me it's like me seeing her isn't a
problem.
Me, me seeing y'all hooked uptogether is the problem, because
it's like if all my friendshave your social media channel
(29:56):
and it's me and you at the top,people be scrolling.
And then they scroll down and alittle bit after me and you,
it's you and her in the same waythat me and you are.
It's like oh, he got twobitches.
Sir Anthony (30:13):
Like no, we're not doing that, but the receipts say
like old shit.
Chrissy A. (30:17):
No, we're not doing that.
Sir Anthony (30:18):
No, I'm asking about that Like I'm with a
couple of my favorite rappers,producers.
Chrissy A. (30:23):
Now people are going to scroll and try to find the
picture just to see what your exlook like you know that right.
Sir Anthony (30:31):
It is what it is.
Chrissy A. (30:32):
So now they finna, find your ex.
They probably is gonna try.
Sir Anthony (30:34):
I've been talking about this on the show since we
started.
They probably you had no clues,though.
Chrissy A. (30:39):
You know how social media is.
Sir Anthony (30:41):
If I'm watching the show and I'm talking about this
and I see they socials, thenI'm gonna try to scroll it.
If I'm messy and nosy, okay,you watch them reality TV shows.
Chrissy A. (30:54):
You know exactly what they do.
Sir Anthony (30:56):
Okay, want to cut this piece out, mm-hmm, no, I
don't care you ready.
Wait, it's my turn, ain't it,is it yeah.
When we have different opinions, what's a good way for us to
(31:23):
find common ground?
We do that a lot.
That's what's going on in thissituation.
Chrissy A. (31:29):
Yeah, that's what I got Entire relationship honestly
.
So give the people some advicegoing on in this situation.
That's like our entirerelationship honestly so give
the people some advice um,having differences of opinions.
I feel like the way that we getaround it is like, in reality,
(31:52):
this is my thought process,right?
People say agree to disagree,right.
However, some things isn'tagreed to disagree because they
cause for action.
So it's like if I think that weshould go left and you think we
should go right, somebody gotgotta give in and either just
(32:14):
say, fuck it, you right, youknow what I'm saying.
And with that thought process,it's like I don't have to, I
don't have to be the victor ofevery conversation that we have.
Like sometimes I do give it toyou, sometimes I give it to you,
sometimes I give it to you,sometimes I give it to you,
(32:35):
sometimes I give it to you.
Sometimes I become theapologetic one that say I'm
sorry because of X, y and Z, andit's like Sometimes it can be
exhausting, but it's necessaryand I'm learning.
I'm learning slowly but surelyto pick my battles.
(32:56):
Like it's a lot of things thatI don't agree, that you would
say and I'd be like it ain'teven worth it, it ain't worth it
and it ain't even just with you.
It's in all my relationships,my friendships, like when we was
hanging out yesterday, oh, Ipicked my battles a lot
yesterday and sometimes yougotta learn.
Just shut your mouth likeeverything that you feel don't
(33:18):
need to be said this is trueyeah, so yeah, another card,
yeah, another card.
It's my pick.
Sir Anthony (33:35):
No, I got a pick.
Chrissy A. (33:37):
You just picked that .
Sir Anthony (33:39):
What you been drinking Give me some of that.
Chrissy A. (33:42):
It's so funny because he's going to go along
with this.
No, wait a minute, he's goingto go along with this.
That y'all experienced.
I'm so glad this is beingrecorded.
Y'all experienced in real timehow this works.
He literally just picked thatcard, read it, hand it to me and
I said it over here when youediting this, rewind it back and
(34:07):
show them you got it.
Sir Anthony (34:08):
You got it this time, but there's times where
that be happening on your side.
Chrissy A. (34:12):
Yes, I'm 100% believable that that happens.
Sir Anthony (34:17):
We got this on camera.
Chrissy A. (34:18):
However, we don't have me doing it on camera.
Sir Anthony (34:22):
But we gonna get it .
Chrissy A. (34:30):
Let's do a different one Nope.
Nope, can we do a different one?
Nope, can we do a different one?
I want something that's goingto like really spark.
I'm kind of going to do theintentions.
That was the same card.
Sir Anthony (34:46):
That we just did yeah.
Chrissy A. (34:47):
Yeah, what's one dream you have for our future?
Sir Anthony (34:55):
to travel the world and discover new things and
meet new people and bebillionaires, not billionaires
wealthy.
I'd rather that wealth isbetter than a monetary value,
because wealth can be anything.
Wealth can be your health,wealth can be anything.
Wealth can be your health,wealth can be your happiness, or
(35:15):
it can be monetary, to thepoint where you don't have to
worry about the rat race.
Chrissy A. (35:21):
Would you be okay if we didn't become really, really
wealthy?
Sir Anthony (35:31):
in the sense a monetarily now?
Are we struggling?
Are we back in the rat race orare we at this plateau that we
are now?
Because I don't want to stay inthis.
It's a.
It's a nice plateau.
It's disposable income, butI've been hitting my head on
(35:53):
this glass ceiling for the lastalmost 10 years and I'm tired of
.
I got a lot of bruises up there.
I want to get past that bump inmy head, so I guess I'm asking
what's the threshold?
Chrissy A. (36:11):
Well, I'm just saying like do you feel like I
would be enough?
Sir Anthony (36:18):
Monetarily.
Chrissy A. (36:19):
I'm just saying like period, because we can have
dreams that we'll be chasing andchasing it and they won't come
true.
Like for me, I would love forthis podcast to do millions and
billions and trillions ofnumbers and a lot of people get
invested into it and we createan audience that wants our
(36:41):
advice now.
But in my mind I want it to behuge.
I want to touch people all overthe world.
You know, and it's like if Inever get that, would I still
(37:02):
feel complete and happy, wouldnot have a question to yourself
but I'm asking you if we neverget it, are we actively chasing
it?
Sir Anthony (37:16):
yeah and and investing and putting our all
into it.
Now I do believe because I'vestarted multiple businesses over
my lifetime, so I know I'vebeen in businesses where pouring
into them, and then this reallyis like they say like five
years later, then boomprofitability or whatever that
that you're going after thathappens.
(37:36):
I've been in some businesseswhere early on is profitable.
You make some not so smartdecisions because you're banking
off of like.
It's like with the rappers thatcome out with a one-hit wonder,
like they got it.
They demand now they've seeneverywhere and then when it's
time to put out another song,they fall off like what happened
to so-and-so.
What happened to so-and-so?
Because you were given the gifttoo early, you didn't
(37:58):
appreciate or learn theappreciation along the journey.
So when you got it, to make itsustainable and longevity.
So I understand those dynamicsof it.
But, um, as long as I will feelgood about it because I've done
this in the past where I've putmy all into something and it
just didn't work out you justhave to let that go by the
(38:19):
wayside.
Yeah, I'm OK with that.
However, I have this gut.
You know you had that feelingthat.
Chrissy A. (38:29):
It's going to happen .
Sir Anthony (38:29):
It's going to happen and this is what I really
think might have to cut thisout the show.
I do get distracted on otherthings instead of focusing on my
core calling, because I'm aperson that likes to help other
people, so I'm helping everybodyup along with me if I just be
selfish for one moment and justfocus on my thing, get through
(38:53):
that and then come back and helpeverybody else.
I think that that's the thetest that I'm like constantly
feeling, because I'm like I'mgonna bring everybody with me
and, like my one of my favoriterappers say everybody can't go.
Chrissy A. (39:06):
Shout out to Benny yeah, what's your core calling?
Sir Anthony (39:14):
to give back.
Chrissy A. (39:16):
It's some, but you said like you want to focus on
what you want to do with themarketing company.
Sir Anthony (39:21):
So at every point it's like I get to the point
where it's profitable, it'sdoing it's thing, but I'm like,
okay, let me sit, since that'son autopilot, it's going to do
it's thing.
Then let me focus on some otherthings and bring that up along
with me.
If I just stop and focus.
That's kind of what I was doingover this weekend.
It's like a new service needsto be introduced the social
(39:43):
media service.
Chrissy A. (39:43):
Yeah.
Sir Anthony (39:44):
And it's time to put some effort into that, like
how I put into every single oneof my clients.
I feel that this is how Ireally feel about my business at
times.
Like the mechanic, you will seea mechanic that can do cold
work on your car, fix your stuff, all fine, but he had a raggedy
car.
Why?
Because he's so focused onmaking everybody else stuff
(40:05):
right he don't have the time toput into his own car and so Do
you feel like pouring into whatmy dream is kind of affects that
too?
in a sense okay, um, becauseit's also my dream too.
So it's like we're buildingthis together.
I'm pouring all of myvideography and editing and
(40:29):
marketing prowess into this.
So it's like this is my babytoo, but I don't want to just
like put this on pause and thengo.
But then again I'm like, okay,if I just went, focus only on
the marketing company and thenwe circle back around to this,
we can do this in an effectiveway.
Like how we do, we shoot abunch of podcasts and we're
(40:50):
ready for the next things, butnot like how we've been doing
lately, like it's been like alot of concentration into this,
but it's a good concentrationyeah, okay you make you feel
some kind of way a little.
Chrissy A. (41:06):
It's not a feel, some type way like because you,
expressing it to me that I feellike upset or anything, it make
me feel like um, it makes mefeel like that I should, because
(41:33):
I have.
I haven't been as invested intothe podcast as I was and it's
because I do feel that from you,like I feel like you, you would
rather just focus on what yougot going on, so I haven't been
posting on social media as muchyou know, and editing our videos
(41:56):
, because now I feel like I haveto basically pour into what
you're doing.
You know what I mean, like I.
I mean Like I have to do thatpart.
I have to be that person now.
Sir Anthony (42:11):
Why you can't balance.
Chrissy A. (42:13):
Um, because sometimes it's draining.
Sir Anthony (42:18):
Which one is draining, the marketing company
or this or both.
Chrissy A. (42:22):
Your marketing company.
Sir Anthony (42:24):
Is draining.
Chrissy A. (42:24):
Yeah, your clients are draining as fuck.
I appreciate them, you know,for the business.
But it could be, it could be alot because it's like that's,
that's like your dream and likewhen you doing your dream it
doesn't feel as like much workas doing somebody else's stream.
(42:48):
Like doing this might feel likea lot of work to you, like when
how, I always be like let'sshoot a podcast, like to me
that's fun, and you just like no, no, I had the conversation
that I want to talk.
I want us to do like talk andwhatever outside of the podcast
about things you was like, butwe do that on the podcast, like
(43:11):
we got, we got to do that towork.
So now you thinking thattalking or communicating about
certain things is work becauseof this podcast.
So it makes me feel like damn,like you know, I don't know, I
don't know.
Yeah, we'll talk about it here,yeah whose turn I lost track.
Sir Anthony (43:42):
I don't know how do you cope when you feel you're
overwhelmed?
Chrissy A. (43:50):
oh lord, I don't know how do you cope when you
feel you're overwhelmed.
Oh Lord, I feel like I justtalked about being overwhelmed.
Honestly, I just keep pushing,I just keep pushing, I just keep
pushing through it.
Like it's a lot of things thatcause me to be a little
(44:14):
overwhelmed.
Sometimes you gotta like take abreak, like take a beat and
just be like you know, I gottaset this aside for a minute and
then I watch everybody elseproblems on reality TV, laughing
, but um, and then I watcheverybody else's problems on
reality TV.
But, yeah, sometimes you justdeal with it.
(44:44):
I would say the poster boardanswer.
The perfect answer would bepray and then meditate about it.
But honestly, recently,recently, I haven't been doing
that.
I do feel like I I need to getback in tune with doing that,
because it does help a lot.
Um, and I, I don't pray as muchas I used to, I don't meditate
as much as I used to, which iswhy I probably feel more
(45:05):
overwhelmed than I normally do.
Still pray, still meditate.
It's just for shorter periodsof time than how it used to be.
So it's crazy, because we don'tlike to talk about it, but
relationships take a lot out ofsomebody.
(45:26):
We don't like to talk about it,but relationships take a lot
out of somebody.
Like it changes who you are ifyou don't stand firm in who you
are, and it's like the changecould be good and sometimes it
can be draining, sometimes itcould be unhealthy to the
(45:48):
relationship.
Before you, I was going topoetry every week.
You know I was writing a lotbefore and it's not to say it's
your fault, it's it's completelyme.
You know what I mean.
Um, I feel like I pour a lotinto our relationship that I
don't pour into the thing someof the things that I used to
(46:10):
love to do so much, even withexercising, going to the gym
three to four times a week or,um, stretching for my
flexibility to happen, like Ifeel like I feel like I kind of
like put those things on theback burner and it's just like
more so.
(46:30):
Oh, I got a man.
I love this man, I want to beunder this man.
I'm gonna cook for this man,I'm gonna make sure the things
that you know make sure he feelsat peace in his home because he
invited me here.
So it's like, oh, you got clean, you got to make sure this is.
You know, that's what my minddoes.
It doesn't do.
Let's write a poem, let'srelease some of this energy.
(46:52):
It doesn't do that right now.
So, like the past week, I'vebeen out a lot with my friends
because it makes me feel likeI'm getting a sense of myself,
the the self I was before you,if that makes sense.
Sir Anthony (47:10):
It's all about balance.
And then for me I believe inseasons.
So, and I know my seasons andcycles.
So, like I told you, like weused to work out together in the
summer, but that was the season, but that was the season.
So right now, this is for meevery December, january is the
(47:33):
dip in business, but theneverybody has their New Year's
resolutions.
They want to come back and doeverything bigger and better.
So I start getting clientsaround this time.
So right now I head in the dirtlike an ostrich and start to do
all of the work, so then aroundspring can reap the fruits of
those.
So I know my season.
(47:53):
So the workout seasons for medon't start back to going hard
spring to summer, and I knowthat doesn't work.
Chrissy A. (48:00):
So we're just getting fat all winter Me, not
him, because he doesn't gain anyweight.
Sir Anthony (48:06):
And I know my body and my metabolism.
It's like what comes in mybody's just going to work on it
instantly.
Yeah, and use it for fuel orthe rest got to go.
Chrissy A. (48:19):
But even in that sense, like your cycle is your
cycle and mine is mine, so it'slike, even though that's how
your process worked, I wasworking out and you didn't even
exist in my life.
So I technically don't need youto work out.
My mind just needs to go backto just because you in a
relationship doesn't mean thatyou're not an individual, and I
(48:42):
I've been struggling with thatand recently coming back into
that, because you see, now Ijust get up and I start
stretching now and I do my ownthing.
And I went out with Elena oneday, the next day I was with E
and then the next day we stayedat dance practice.
You know what I'm saying.
So I'm slowly creating myindividual ism that's a word,
(49:07):
right.
So I'm slowly creating myindividualism that's a word,
right.
It feel like it is.
Sir Anthony (49:11):
It is.
Chrissy A. (49:11):
I feel like it's a word.
Yeah, I'm getting back to that.
So, yeah, don't lose yourselfin your relationships, because
we tend to do that.
We tend to lose who we are.
And it's not to say that yourrelationship is like bad, like
you don't have to be in anabusive, messed up relationship
(49:33):
to lose yourself.
Sometimes we start to dependwithout knowing.
We start to depend on the otherperson all the time, like, oh,
I want to go to the store, canyou go to the store with me?
And then it's just like youwasn't here when I was going to
the store by myself.
I'm good, but I'm definitelygonna call your ass until you
(49:54):
come get these groceries out thecar.
That's the benefit of thepartnership.
okay, we find the benefits ofpartnership and we make that
work well said so I did want totalk about one more topic before
(50:16):
we like close out and know itdoesn't have anything to do with
the beyond dating cards, whichyou guys should definitely go
purchase because that was lightwork.
That wasn't the work that makeyou sweat.
Some of these cards in heregonna make you sweat don't tell
them that then they won't buy it.
Sir Anthony (50:33):
No that you need to make these niggas sweat for my
guys and see for my guys, if Igotta answer these questions
that's gonna put the beads on myhead they might make the women
sweat too.
Chrissy A. (50:43):
Your intentions, but it's better to get to those
questions in the dating phaserather than get in it in the
after the honeymoon phase.
Sir Anthony (50:55):
Speaking of you, don't want to go on a date and
then you realize that sistergirl only got one hand I'm not
gonna play with you she wasbogus, though she should have
told the man like you know, Ijust have a little something,
I'm fine, but I just got alittle something going on.
Are we still?
Is that something that you canlook past, or is this a deal
(51:17):
breaker?
And let that man be honest likenah, sister, I can't do that.
Like well, he be like you knowwhat.
I don't care.
Chrissy A. (51:25):
Come on, let's go out, he could have eventually
bought her a new hand, aprosthetic I think she knows
more about those programs to geta prosthetic than him anyways.
Um, speaking of honeymoon phase,when you are exiting the
(51:48):
honeymoon phase, there's like acertain drop in the relationship
that happens when you get intothe comfortability stage.
They feel like dating isn't asimportant as it used to be, or
it's not that it isn't important, it's just like I got you now.
(52:09):
So I think that thing happened.
So I want to talk a little bitabout the importance of
continuing to date while you'rein a relationship, even after
the honeymoon phase I'm gonnaanswer two ways because I'm
biased.
Sir Anthony (52:25):
And then I gotta like, erase my bias and answer
it like how you know, somebodywant to connect in the audience.
So for me, I don't believe in.
You got to stop courting yourwoman throughout.
So like that's the fun part ofall of this.
So like, if you notice what wedo, like we go out, whether it
be you know, whether it be alittle lounge or club or
(52:46):
whatever, or it just be couplesthing, or it just be like I own
the thing, or even if it's justlike karaoke, whatever capacity
it is, whether it's packed inthere or it's just us in there,
like I.
Like that, that's the fun partabout being what you want.
When you want to go out, getdressed up, eat, have a good
(53:10):
time and that's like a, that's anormal part of my.
If I don't do that as much,then I start to feel like, damn,
that's just me, that's the biaspart of it.
But there's some people that arelike, okay, I did all of this
in the beginning to get a.
Like now it's time to Netflixand chill.
Or like, well, we got to do allof that.
Like bro, listen to me, frombrother to brother, you gonna
(53:32):
have to keep courting your womanlike because if you don't you
run the risk of that complacencyand then she'd be like damn she
.
It's almost like yourrepresentative came out after
the fact.
This is the person who you areand if that's who you are, you
should have came in a door thatway.
To be honest, if you're not aperson that's going to go out
(53:54):
and court her, buy her nicethings, take her shopping, that
kind of thing, don't try to dothat to get her Be who you are
in the beginning.
If that ain't good enough, thenthat means y'all not aligned.
And if that ain't good enough,then that mean y'all not aligned
.
But if you see that assomething like okay, this is a
wake-up call, like I came in thedoor doing this, then perhaps I
should keep doing this.
It ain't got to be probably asoften as you were going through
(54:17):
the door, but you're going tohave to keep some kind of
cadence with that, becauseshe'll see that She'll complain
about that.
And if you're bucking like man,she tripping she, she'll see
that She'll complain about that.
And if you're bucking like man,she tripping, she always want
to do X, y, she might open thedoor to that nigga in the DMs
that's willing to take her tothese places, and better than
(54:37):
that.
Actually, we'll be willing todo that, and that's my advice to
you, brother.
Chrissy A. (54:42):
Yeah, there should be a distinction between what is
dating and what's not in arelationship Because, like,
everything you said was likereal, like, yeah, we go to the
(55:02):
bar, we go to karaoke, we dothose things.
We would go get something toeat, you know, sit down and eat
a lot.
We don't do fun stuff, you knowwe have but you did.
Sir Anthony (55:12):
They have been in your book fewer and far between.
I know what you're getting at.
We ain't been to that vr roomyet no, check it out, ladies.
Chrissy A. (55:20):
This is what I've been doing every time.
I see, I've been telling himI've been wanting to go do vr.
I'm like a nerdy type of girl,so I like to do like fun, fun
things.
I like laser tag, I like videogames, like I'm like that type
of girl so I'm like I want to goto VR, I want to go do this at
(55:41):
VR.
And he's like, okay, and I feellike he hears me, but I that
that I would have to make ithappen for it to happen and not
saying that I have to pay for it.
I have to grab your card,schedule it for it to happen for
us to actively go on.
Sir Anthony (55:57):
That's not the case .
Chrissy A. (55:58):
Every it's been bad timing hold on because it's like
bad timing is crazy the lasttime we was trying to go, it was
booked up.
Sir Anthony (56:06):
Because of what holiday?
Chrissy A. (56:08):
it was my birthday and what was?
Sir Anthony (56:10):
what's your?
Chrissy A. (56:11):
but.
But we could have been did itthough that's true but wait a
minute.
So I, every time I saw a videoof vr, I would share it and send
it to his phone, nudge nudge weneed to go to do this vr thing
(56:37):
because I really want to go andI I believe that we're gonna go.
Yeah, I feel like we would havewent sooner if I would have paid
for it to happen with your card, I feel like.
But I refuse to do that becauseI want to feel, like you said,
courted.
I want to feel like that youplanned the date and you see
what I'm saying, fellas?
Sir Anthony (56:55):
I'm slacking and lacking over here, so I'm going
to check our DMs.
So if that little goofy niggagoing to our DMs like I take you
to the DI shop, baby, I'm goingto respond back to his ass.
So, like I got to step it up.
This is what I'm talking about.
Step it up, fellas, because I'mslacking, so you slacking and
we slacking together, so get ourshit together.
Chrissy A. (57:17):
So, yeah, period.
So the importance of dating,even after the honeymoon phase.
It builds a level of intimacyand a connection.
Like our therapist asks, how doyou guys connect with each
other?
You know I'm saying it buildsthat level of connection.
It puts you in a a space likeif you're doing something fun or
(57:38):
that the other person likes todo, you can actually have tough
conversations in that spacebecause it's like now we're more
relaxed, our brain is like morerelaxed and now we can have
those conversations that if wewas cooped up in the house
irritated by each other, it willgo a completely different way.
You know what I mean.
So there are very, a lot ofdifferent benefits of continuing
(58:05):
to date, even outside of justbecause you want to date it.
It builds that strong bondbetween you and your partner.
It it helps you to get to knoweach other on different levels
of life and life's experiences,like I definitely want to do
(58:26):
escape room with you and I likedoing escape room because you
see how people's minds work.
You know, like if you was inthis situation where the time
was running out and this is thequestion I was asked, what are
you going to think, you know, orwhat are you going to grab?
What are you going to do?
So, like, I'm excited to gothis, these adventurous dating
(58:48):
journeys with you, like yeah,we've done the bar, we've done
restaurants, we've done typicaldating experiences, but when it
gets to Chrissy's dating worldand then, like we always date
with your family, they arehomies yeah, but you know it's
(59:10):
cool today without them I'msending this video to you.
To them, they blacklisting Iwould really actually love to do
like the vr with your family inthe um escape room with your
family and stuff like that.
Like that would be cool, becool.
But like let's, do you've seenGhost, the movie Ghost, where
(59:30):
they mold in the clay?
They got the downtown.
Sir Anthony (59:35):
We can do that together you know it's one of
them, beverly, too.
Chrissy A. (59:38):
Yeah, see, we can do stuff like that together and
that could be just me and youtype thing where we bond with
just us, gotcha, yeah, me andyou type thing where we bond
with just us.
Sir Anthony (59:54):
Gotcha, yeah, gotcha, do you have any closing
remarks?
Or, fellas, step your game up,or else, that's all I got to say
or else it really is, or elsebecause what's gonna happen?
There's a process with this.
You'll keep throwing nudges andthen you'll complain.
And then, when she stopscomplaining, oh, that's when you
worry.
That's when it's time to worry.
We so stupid that we don't evenknow, like, oh, I can't believe
(01:00:15):
she's not complaining no more,but she already checked out and
out the door.
Chrissy A. (01:00:18):
Yeah, I mean because in reality, I can do.
I can just grab your card anddo these things with my friends,
but I'd rather do them with you.
You know, like I really want tobuild that level of intimacy
with you.
So, yeah, I would really lovefor the people that do watch
(01:00:39):
this and watch it all the waythrough like, give us some
topics that you want to hear ustalk about.
Like, even if you don't want togo on the website, I will
recommend that you guys go onthe website to our X pure
intentions page and put submitsomething that you want us to
(01:01:02):
give you advice on.
Like, I absolutely love givingadvice all day.
I love giving advice.
My friends call me for advice.
I call them for advice.
Like, we are a community thatneed each other, so lean on us
for advice.
Um, also, if you want, ifyou're watching this on youtube,
(01:01:22):
comment down below of topicsthat you want to hear us talk
about.
That you feel like is somewherewhere we can give advice for
intentional relationships.
Yeah, that's all I have today.
Sir Anthony (01:01:41):
Until next time.
Chrissy A. (01:01:42):
Period.
Thank you for watching.
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