January 1, 2025 • 65 mins
In this episode, we dive into the journey from infatuation to true love. Here's the interesting story of how Chrissy A. & Sir Anthony met. Sharing our personal experiences, we explore the critical elements that help relationships evolve, including communication, family support, and therapy. Learn how to navigate the complexities of blending lifestyles, embrace authenticity, and build a foundation of genuine love. Whether you’re in a new relationship or seeking to deepen your connection, this conversation will inspire and guide you.
Looking for tools to deepen your connections? Check out our Intentions Starter Cards, designed to spark meaningful conversations and guide intentional dating:
🔗 Shop Icebreakers Cards: https://pureintentions314.com/dating-games/the-icebreakers/
💬 Share your thoughts in the comments: Have you ever mistaken infatuation for love? What helped you realize the difference?
📌 Get more in-depth on our blog: https://pureintentions314.com/love-vs-infatuation/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We listen and we don't judge.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Sometimes all the time, most of the time.
So all the time when I'm in thebathroom, I'm always typically
the one that used the last ofthe toilet paper and I would
leave just a little bit oftoilet paper on the road, just
(00:28):
so I don't have to change it.
We listen and we don't judge.
Welcome to the Pure IntentionsPodcast, where real love, raw
emotions and intentionalrelationships come together.
Welcome to the Pure IntentionsPodcast, where we talk
everything relationship from anintentional point come together.
Welcome to the Pure Intentionspodcast where we talk everything
relationship from anintentional point of view.
I am your host, chrissy A.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
And I'm your co-host, sir Anthony.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
And today we're gonna talk.
We're gonna talk aboutrelationships, how we started
our relationship, the differencebetween love and infatuation.
We're just going to flow withthe conversation today.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
So that's why you didn't tell me the topic.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I mean we're just going to flow.
We just gonna flow.
Um, I really wanted to talkabout how we met, because a lot
of people ask us, like when theyare in our space and they're
getting to know our vibe witheach other, they say how did
(01:37):
y'all meet?
So I feel like that's animportant story for our
listeners.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
All right.
So this had.
What had happened was I was ina spot doing the Fifi and I had
like 30 chicks on me and theywas just I couldn't which one.
I'm over here, I'm over there.
I got one on my neck and then Isaw Shorty, like she was
standing at me up and down, butI'm like man, I got 29 chicks on
(02:04):
me.
She was staying at me up anddown, but I'm like man, I got 29
chicks on me.
So then I scooted about 13 ofthem out the way, but then FOMO
came back and I'm in here, I'mhaving a good time.
I'm like oh, oh.
Then I went to the bar to get adrink because there was too
many on me and about four ofthem was in the back, and then
you was like hey, I see you overthere vibing and doing your
(02:25):
thing, like can I get out whatthe fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
you know what that remind me of?
Speaker 1 (02:30):
like that martin episode where everybody had to
tell their point of view of thestory well, this ain't that this
definitely became that sowhat's the real story?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
so, matter of fact, we don't have to go into like
full details about how we met,but we can talk about like the
first time we saw each other.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
That's what happened.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I had like 35 of them Okay now let's get to a serious
mode, because that is not whathappened.
First and foremost, when I very, very first saw you, you came
into what was called Tilly's.
At the time it was New Year'sEve.
It was New Year's Eve, it wasNew Year's Eve and I hosted
(03:14):
karaoke at Tilly's.
I was standing at the DJ boothand I seen him walking through.
He had on this little, you hada trench coat, right, he had
this trench.
He just had grown man status,like walking.
And if anybody from Chicagothat is listening or watching
right now, y'all already know,y'all already know that Tilly's
(03:39):
is like a hood spot.
If you been, it's like realhood, like a lot of hood guys
coming there.
So for me, hosting it everyweek and seeing somebody like
that walk in, it was like,definitely my type, like I'm
like, oh my God, he's fine ashell.
Thank you, yeah, but I Icouldn't shoot my shot because
(04:03):
he was with somebody.
It was, yeah, he was withsomebody Was.
Yeah, he was with somebody atthe time and I'm not that girl.
I'm not the girl that playssecond to anybody.
I'm not the girl that's goingto chase up after a man and
trying to convince him that I'mclearly better than the woman
that he's with.
You know, I'm just not thatgirl.
I am for being seriously though.
(04:25):
I am so much for black love andfor me I'm not going to come
into somebody else's situationLike that would have been weird.
So you know, it was like.
You know I was like crushingfrom the sideline.
But you know, out of sight, outof mind, after you know,
continuously seeing you, it'slike the reaction was kind of
(04:47):
different because it's like youbelong to somebody else.
So now my mind has to depletefrom anything.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Naughty.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Anything that involved a you and a me in it.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yes, and scrupulous ideas in your head about me.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yes, I did, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
When I came to the spot, I had the trench coat on,
like in the movies, and it flowout and it was like I swayed up
in that joint.
The crowd moved as I walkedthrough that joint.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Mm-hmm, it was like 10 people at that time?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
No, it wasn't, it was bussing in.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Right, but when y'all first came in it was nobody
there.
They started to come in later,like after midnight.
That's why we stay open laterwhy you bust up my story because
tell the truth I'm.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I am telling the truth.
It was flowing like you've everseen the movie.
Uh, face off yeah, when uhwalked through the doors and the
birds flew up the one beforethat, when they was at the
airport tarmac and he had ablack trench coat on that was
flowing in the wind when he hadhis double uh gold desert eagles
I got you baby time stood stillwas like slow motion yeah and
(06:09):
you and like 15 others was likeyeah, let me stop fucking that's
exactly what happened.
I just gave my first reaction toyou so for me I know you
already know because I was I waslocked in on somebody else so I
(06:33):
wasn't focused on you, althoughyou were the star of the show
being the host of that thing.
It was packed in that joint, itwas.
It was nice yeah but myattention wasn't there.
Now, as I continue to come back, I was acclimated to you
because I was introduced to you,but it was like a friend thing
and I'm, yeah, the way I am.
I'm respectful of who I'm with.
(06:55):
If this is their friend, I'llget them a little side friend
hug and that's about it.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
But I'm not we barely hug, but it was.
It was times where it would belike a little church hug yeah,
yeah, that's something to getyou no, I get it, though, and
that was part of the reason whyI like crushed you a little bit
(07:28):
more, because it's like the likeguys even in that space that
come there with their girl wouldliterally be eyeing me.
Like you know that the ad andthe ad moment Sometimes a
girlfriend would do it.
So like I just enjoyed the fact.
(07:49):
It was refreshing to see a manwho could have possibly been
attracted to a woman butrespected his relationship
enough not to cross thoseboundaries.
Yeah, and it wasn't like a oh,I see what he doing, he doing,
I'm gonna ease up in there, oranything.
I really feel like that.
(08:09):
Our situation was basicallylike a fate situation, like the
right time, the right moment hadto happen, because when we
actually actually you stoppedcoming to Tilly's mm-hmm,
tilly's basically closed, butthen there was another spot and
you didn't come there.
(08:29):
So I hadn't seen him in whatsince February, because it was
around my birthday.
Yeah, I think the last time youcame was around my birthday if
I'm'm not mistaken, the new spotyeah the new spot wasn't the
same vibe as the former spot,but you know it had its
(08:51):
moment the sangas was there yeah, that, but the crowd, no, I had
.
You was February, come what wasit?
(09:13):
July, july, july.
My friend, one of my friends,she had her.
She was celebrating herbirthday.
So we ended up going to a beachparty on the lakefront and it
was an all-white beach party.
I really did not want to go,though, like I don't know, I got
(09:38):
into my mood of beingaccustomed to staying at home
and just vibing and chilling athome or just hanging with my
friends in the crib cooking andlike I got into my like old lady
stage.
You know I wasn't.
I was at the point where I wastired of dating and you know my
friends just like, no, we finnago out here and find some, you
(10:00):
know.
And I was just like, all right,cool, I bought me a little
white swimsuit because I didn'thave any white, and we went to
an all-white party?
Yeah it was all white, so weended up going to the lakefront
and I was getting some food.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
And guess who I saw.
That's how this meant.
So yeah, bumped into you at thefood spot and, um, I had
literally just got out of thattoxic relationship, like a week
before, and you had asked meabout that and I was like I'm
(10:37):
single and prior so I didn't askhim was he still in a
relationship with her?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
I just want to make that clear.
I just asked him like wherey'all, what my home girl at you
know, like that, because I'm soused to seeing y'all together.
So for me it was like kind ofrespectful to see you there and
just, you know, ask about her.
So it wasn't on like no sneak.
I just want to clear that up.
It wasn't on no sneaky stufflike um, I don't see you with
(11:06):
shorty, what's going on?
It was more so you did.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
You asked.
The first question you asked iswhere she at.
And I was like, nah, we doneain't no more of that, like it's
done, done that's not what Igot when you said that, though
no you was like um nah, sheain't with me, no more, no, no.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
You said she ain't with me, she ain't here.
So I just assumed yeah, I justassumed she wasn't there and I
think it's a part of you thatdon't want your like.
You just didn't want thebusiness out there like that
well, probably I did.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
That's the type of person I am.
I'm not gonna broadcast mypersonal business.
This is like the first timethat I would have done something
like that.
We're opening up, the point ofthis is open up for the podcast,
but in general, oh no, you'renot gonna get.
I'm Fort Knox, you're not gonna, you're gonna have to make your
speculations.
Yeah, whatever you believe iswhat you believe yeah um, but
(12:00):
yeah, I probably did say thatthat sounds like me, but prior
to that it was like that thinghad ran its course a week before
.
I took some time because I hadalready been taking like this
personal time for me, becausethat was like not going well.
(12:20):
And I was chilling by myself andI just took some time and I
went down to Indianapolis tohang out with my homie, terry
Shout out to my boy.
But I spent some family timewith him to regroup, get my head
together, because what I had tosacrifice in that last
relationship was family and itwas, like you said, refreshing
(12:45):
to go down with him and a familyoriented and to just hang out
as as family.
Hung out with his uh, he gotadolescence boys in one team.
Hung out with them.
We fixed the gate like we diddude stuff and then that cleared
my head, came back to chicago,hung out with more of my nieces
and nephews to like, okay, thisis what I've been missing.
And then one of my cousins saidhey, come to this all-white
beach party.
I'm like I'm going and, to behonest, I'm like I'm hoeing he,
(13:12):
like I'm finna be a hoe Istraight up free.
I'm about to be.
I'm about to be on the beachand ran into you.
I did run into a couple otheryoung ladies, but they didn't
catch my eye like you caught myeye, because that whole day we
was locked in talking vibingjust in our own little world.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Yeah, because at first it was just like at the
food place, it was just like ahi and a bye, and then we kind
of separated and then I walkedpast you again and we started
talking again.
And then that's when I knewlike y'all wasn't together, no
(13:56):
more.
And then you asked me you'relike, how close was y'all?
And I'm like we wasn't close atall.
I will be real, because wewasn't.
Like she was a regular at thespot that I worked at and I
(14:17):
played it cool.
Like everybody was cool.
I vibed with everybody, but Iwouldn't consider them to be my
friends.
I vibe with everybody, but Iwouldn't consider them to be my
friends.
I wouldn't even go as close tosay that they were my associates
because we didn't talk at alloutside of that space.
So, like you were cool, thatwas my job, I was at work.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
So you know that happened, yeah, but I'm just
like, but let me give you your,uh, your moment.
So, like I was over theretalking to my my cousin, to
nando.
He gonna be on the show, um,shortly yeah, me and nando big
ups so I'm sitting there talkingto him, telling him cuz I'm
about to be out here, I'm aboutto hope today, right now, in 30
seconds.
He's like I don't do your thingcuz you know you've been, and
(15:04):
so you started walking pastagain and I'm looking at all of
the guys looking their head,doing like this you just over
here, with this slow, sensualswitch, shoulders back, coming
locked in, coming straight at me.
I didn't think he was coming tome, I thought she was going to
the food court, but then I waslike, oh, here, like I'll talk
(15:28):
to you later, cuz he clean, walkright off I remember that he
let me do my thing, and we gotto talking.
It was like from that moment wewas talking and the only break
from that was because I did goback and see kiana yeah, your
family and then I came backagain because I had a chair and
(15:49):
all this other stuff.
I had to like find that like Ilost track of all of that stuff
and we was locked in talking,dancing, vibing, drinking, oh,
baby we made out and it's so.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
It's so funny because , like I, I have been previously
dating and me previously dating.
I haven't been feeling likeconnections with people and it's
like this thing like whenyou're dating, people think that
you're in a movie, so theythink once you go on a date with
them and then a date ends,you're supposed to kiss them.
(16:21):
Nick, no.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Why not?
I don't know where your lipsbeen.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
They trying to be on you first of all look at them
luscious, first of all, and they, they this, they this way,
because I take good care of themand, mom, I can't be putting my
mouth on every single person.
And now I'm in, like I'm, mymindset is I'm dating.
So until like, even then,that's what I told you.
(16:51):
Until I met the person I wantedto be with, I didn't want to be
actively out there withdifferent men.
So, um yeah, we were kissinglike dead ass, making out all
over the beach Like my.
It was my friend's birthday.
(17:11):
Her birthday didn't matter.
Nobody around me matter likenothing else.
It was like everybodydisappeared and it was just me
and you there, and it was somagical of a moment that I
didn't even want the night toend at all do we go into the
rest of the night?
(17:33):
wait time out.
I didn't want the night to end.
So, um, what was I getting at?
Us kissing, we making out, weenjoying each other company, we
enjoying each other company.
And, oh, my homegirls, when wetalked about it afterwards, we
(17:56):
talked about all our experiencesthat night, and they was like
Chrissy, you was in straightlover girl mode.
They thought I had just met youfor the very first time at the
beach and I'm like no, what typeof girl you think I am?
Oh no, but it was a moment.
(18:20):
I really enjoyed it.
It was and we can go furtherinto it.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
But that night you and your friends got me drunk
these chiclets.
Going to take some BCs.
Oh, yeah, because they knewwhat type of drinking we was
going to be doing.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
That's one thing I learned from my homegirls is to
always take a BC before youabout to get lit.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Okay, I didn't think we was going to get that lit.
I knew we was going to drink,but not straight, with no juice.
So we over there.
What game was we playing?
We were drinking straight.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yes, what game was that?
We ended up going back to myhomegirl house.
It was me, it was three of uswomen, and then it was Tony oh,
sir Anthony and two other guysthat was there for my homegirls.
So we just playing games,drinking games.
(19:22):
I don't remember what it was.
Never have I ever.
I don't know, but we lost asguys and baby, they were so lit,
they were so lit every, I thinkwe all, everybody was lit in
that house that night yeah, butwe didn't have bcs and so it
kicked our butts.
(19:42):
Oh, that's personal.
And everybody ended up spendingthe night because that's how
drunk we was.
Everybody spent the night at myfriend's house.
The next morning we go to mycar.
Somebody broke into my car,they broke into my car.
All my stuff that was in my caris literally scattered Like.
(20:07):
As soon as I walk out the doormy car is like further down a
couple of houses.
I'm walking out, I see my purse.
I'm like that's my purse.
The purse didn't have nothingin it, you know, but I guess we
was in a hood.
I shouldn't have left the purseright there.
But that's not the point.
Like my doors was unlockedbecause the guys had went back
(20:29):
to the car to get something outmy car and forgot to lock the
doors back because it waspouring down, raining y'all.
Yeah, it was pouring down.
So I went from beach to pouringrain, yeah yeah, and man, all my
stuff was on the ground.
I saw condoms, pictures, allthose types of subjects
(20:51):
everywhere, scattered everywhereon the ground.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
It was a night it was fun yeah, I had a headache in
the morning, but it was fun.
I didn't have a headache yeah,none of the girls had headaches
let's move it to our first datethe first date was at the house
right yeah, it was literally thenext day it was it was the very
(21:15):
next day.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
y'all don't understand how my anxiety work,
right.
So I I had I made up in my mindlike, oh, I'm really attracted
to this guy, I really, reallylike him, and you didn't text.
I screenshotted the text.
You didn't text fast enough forme.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Say that because I did text yes, you did text.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
You said, oh damn, baby, we was texting.
But July the 15th you told meyou were home.
And I'm like you got there fastand it was like until you told
me you was home at eight o'clockand I was waiting for a text
(22:11):
message.
Like I'm talking to you, wetalk to everybody talking about
the experiences, and I'm justlike he ain't text me yet.
He ain't text me yet.
You text me at 4 14, whichisn't a bad thing.
I'm just telling y'all that myanxiety just went through the
roof because I'm like I'mfeeling this guy and I don't
(22:33):
want another situation where I'mkind of liking a guy and then
he just like ghost, but Iwouldn't have been, I wouldn't
have been mad about it.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
It just would have been like a letdown Like damn.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
I'm pretty sure like no excuses, but that was a
Sunday.
You was drunk, you wasrecovering.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Day party.
So then Monday I would haveprobably you know how hectic my
Mondays are, but I probably didslack off and slept it off Then
worked Then got back to tell you, so it's not no, you told me.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
You just woke up from a nap.
It was because you was lit.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
I was yeah, so I didn't go to work that monday.
No, sorry, clients, if you'rewatching this, please don't
watch this but this was thething you had told me.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
You was like I just jerk some chicken thighs and I'm
like jerk.
You know, that's my.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
That's like a love language to me and if you see
our food videos, we should postsome of that on our channel yeah
, we can do that it don't haveto be all about the business.
It could this.
This is how we became a couple.
We have a love for food andit's almost like you know what
(23:51):
we're going to start a friendlycompetition.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I do want to start.
We have a couple's channel forthat, though.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Follow our other TikTok channel and it's called
the Wheels.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Takeover yes.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
You'll see a lot of cool stuff karaoke stuff, food
stuff.
Yeah, follow that channel forthat so you had texted me.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
You was like you was finna, jerk, some chicken thighs
, and you had some bakedpotatoes and some veggies and I
said, sounds good, jerk isdefinitely my favorite food.
And he was like you coming fordinner, laugh out loud, but he's
still coming, like coming.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Oh, I said that.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Yes.
So at that time, oh my God, Atthat time I think I had.
No, I didn't have my son, did I?
I might have had my son?
Nope, that was a different daystraight off with simone no,
coco watched him for me.
One day we hung out, cocowatched him for me.
(24:51):
Okay, right, big ups to cocofor that.
She was a real mvp.
But um, I went over, we haddinner.
That's when I found out hecould cook.
And after dinner we just talked.
Did we have sex?
We didn't have sex that day.
(25:13):
We didn't have sex that day, wedidn't.
Okay, I think I'm on my period.
Yeah, after them chicken thighsboy.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Oh man, that's yeah them.
Chicken thighs made me want toshow my thighs but no, I'm the
one with the shameless plug, butwhen we talked, you brought
these cards and then not ourcars, but that's what inspired
the.
Well, this is one of many deckswe have.
(25:46):
What right now?
Three, four, four decksavailable and we're going to get
to seven yeah, seven in acouple weeks, but each one are
different, so this one is theconversation starter.
So I suggest that you startwith this, for, just like the in
general, you're want to date,or you're with your spouse, or
(26:09):
you with somebody you're datingfor a long time and you want to
get rid of that awkward silenceor just get to more deeper
conversation to learn the personnecessary conversation
necessary conversation.
So we have a couple's deck, wehave a beyond dating um we have
a friendship deck, because yougotta date your friends too.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
We have a reignite deck.
That's the deck where you getout of a relationship and you
thinking, hey, I think I want totry this relationship again
with the same exact person, andthis is a good deck for that
particular situation yes, sofrom those cards oh, we have
five decks the you and Me deck.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
I forgot about that.
That just came out.
Well when this airs, it'llalready be in the store.
Check out all of the decks thatwe have in the Purititious
store on purititious314.com, andyou'll see them all and more
developing.
But it was a great tool to openup for us to have dialogue,
(27:13):
because I didn't know what itwas.
But it was fun though, and Iwas at a point of vulnerability
and I was for me.
I was going to be honest anyway.
Yeah, where some guys they'renot going to be as open, but you
should be open and honest aboutit, because it's intentional
dating.
Is this the right person for me?
And if it's not, it's okay.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
It's early, you know she can move around and or I can
move around you know, yeah, butI wanted to get into more of
the topic that we were supposedto talk about that wasn't the
topic.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
No, it was part of it .
Speaker 2 (27:50):
But you know, I told you we're just going to flow,
we're going to flow through.
This one I did want to talkabout because it kind of goes
hand in hand infatuation versuslove.
Typically, infatuation was whatwe felt that day at the beach
(28:11):
Like everything was perfect,Like I couldn't.
I didn't see any flaws in youat the beach, and it was like
that for a couple of weeks,weeks weeks too yeah, no facts.
It was probably a month okay, Ithink it was a month, a month
(28:33):
and a half of no flaws andeverything just seemed perfect.
We were, you were introducingme to your family Literally the
day after the beach.
I don't think we spent morethan two days apart from each
other.
That is true and it's like whatdid it for me was um.
(29:02):
My father had just passed awayand you had a cousin's, a
cousin's um.
80 was 80 cousins 90s party 90sparty and you asked me if I
wanted to come and I'm likethat's the same day that my
(29:22):
father's repass is.
And, um, in the past, dealingwith relationships and death in
my, I haven't had a partner thatwas like really supportive.
So I feel like that God waslike guiding you to be there in
(29:44):
a specific point in my life sothat I can value the type of man
that you were.
And you showed up and it'scrazy because his friends, his,
his I was gonna say friendsgiving his cousin's night was
literally around the corner fromwhere we had my dad's repackage
(30:08):
it wasn't even what fiveminutes away yeah, it was down
the street it was literally downthe street.
It's like literally everythingwas faith worthy and God put us
in positions to just show up foreach other.
Girlies.
Look if y'all got a good lipscrub this is so off topic
(30:32):
comment with a good lip scrubbecause I've been searching,
I've been trying to find my lipsto be pilled.
I don't like that.
I don't like it, but anyways,back to it.
Um no, but you showed up at myfather's repass.
(30:52):
We had not been dating thatlong at all.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Like my father just passed away, I think it was like
a week or less and I think itwas a weekend the next weekend
after we met.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Yeah, my father passed away.
You showed up and he and I'mthinking like you, just come in,
a pull up, because you have tobe the cameraman for your family
and they were depending on youto be there to be the camera and
sorry uh family, I don't havethose photos like I'm supposed
to, which y'all know y'all loveme.
(31:26):
Anyway, he pulled up and, oh,you were so handsome.
He pulls up and he came in andstayed there the entire repass,
like literally sat, and you wereso supportive.
(31:47):
You sat right next to me theentire repass and that's like a
moment that I hold, that I'llhold with me forever, like it
meant so much and I know thatGod knew how much that meant to
me and he put you there so thatI can see you for who you were.
(32:07):
So I appreciate that moment.
And then, right after that, wewent to the cousin's night.
And we had a ball had a ballyeah and what's.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
I can appreciate you because this is like less than a
weekend and I threw you in thedeep.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
I told you I'm throwing you in the deep end of
the pool when I tell you hisfamily don't know how to set
their ass down.
They do not know how to sitdown, but I love it though, I
absolutely love it like.
But sometimes I'll be like nah,babe, you got this one, you got
this one on your own and I'lllet them just go, because I'll
be so tired and you will reallyhave to recuperate after
(32:52):
spending time with them, becausethey do not.
They do not go to sleep, theyjust be up they don't know how
to go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
They like to party 24 7 they're a lot of fun a lot of
fun and I've been prepping youso when we go on this trip out
of town.
We are gonna leave them yeahand we're gonna damn we can't
say that I was about to say it.
(33:21):
But they gonna watch this andthen they gonna be like uh-uh.
You told me you was gonna turnyour phone off.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
You told me you was gonna yeah, don't do that we're
gonna cut this part out.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
But we leaving y'all, we turning our our phones off,
we faking like that, the Wi-Finot working on so well on our
phones on the resort and live onthat.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
So we ain't get the call, we ain't get no memo.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
And we gonna tell y'all the wrong room number.
So when y'all come looking forus and knocking on our door,
it's not our door.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
That's so petty.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
That's only gonna work for one day that's so petty
, they gonna find our ass.
They gonna go down there anddrag us out the room like come
on um, well, back to it.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Infatuation, I feel like, is what we felt on the
first day everything was perfect, everything was good,
everything felt good, it lookedgood, it smelled good, like
everything was like a fairy tale.
But the difference between thatand love, right, it's like
infection.
Infatuation is when you seeeverything to be perfect.
(34:31):
Love is when you see everythingisn't perfect and you still
want to stay.
The first time that I realizedthat I was absolutely in love
with you was when you pissed meoff.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Which time was when you pissed me off?
Speaker 2 (34:56):
which time.
It was a time when I don't likebeing late for stuff y'all.
I really don't like being latefor stuff y'all.
(35:17):
I really don't like being latefor things.
And he was making us late forsomething.
But I expressed to him that Idon't like being late for things
and we had a disagreement aboutit.
And I think that was our firstreal disagreement and I fought
(35:40):
myself on that, because I thinkthat sometimes when you're so
used to toxic situations oryou're so used to people letting
you down, you want to runbefore someone lets you down
again.
And I fought myself because inmy head I'm like I don't think I
(36:02):
want to be in a relationship,no more, I don't think I was
ready for this.
Maybe I should be by myself,like those are thoughts that was
going through my head.
But then, like I'm like no,he's a good man and're going to
self-sabotage a good man for aminute moment.
It was hard for me because weactually kind of yelled at each
(36:30):
other and it made me feel likeit wasn't going to work because
of that moment and there wasstill parts of me that need
healing.
But I love the fact that I canrecognize that and say no, set
your ass down somewhere.
We're about to work at this andwe're going to try everything
(36:52):
that we can before just givingup.
And if I try everything that Ican and it still doesn't work,
then I know that I tried and metrying the things that I could.
It was like you were receptive.
It might not have happenedimmediately, like I was talking
(37:16):
to you and to me you wasn'tlistening, but then the next day
it's like you're doing thingsthat show me that you were
listening.
I knew I was in love with youwhen, every day that I woke up,
no matter how upset we got witheach other when we went to bed,
(37:38):
we was holding each other.
When we woke up, it was baby,this baby, that we talked things
out and I still wanted you.
I didn't have a desire to bealone.
I didn't have a true desire tofind somebody else.
(38:00):
Like the thing is, you're goingto always end up in a situation
because no two people are alikewhere you're going to disagree.
But what I feel like is everydisagreement that we have, it
kind of gets better and betteras far as communication goes,
(38:24):
and I'm like I could spend therest of my life with this man
because he gets it.
Even when you don't get it,you're willing to understand it,
and that's everything to me.
Aww it you're willing tounderstand it and that's
(38:46):
everything to me.
What say it nothing?
Okay, letting you have yourmoment.
So when did you?
Speaker 1 (38:56):
feel like you knew you was in love with me, I think
.
As for me, it was like it was.
It has to be that it was likemoments and it was checking
boxes and I don't know if Ishould reveal those box checks
why not?
um, I guess the first box thatwas started to check like, okay,
I'm really so, I have to buildup to this.
(39:17):
I'm really vibing with her whenwe was in our dating phases,
like you said, it was timeswhere you would come over and
spend the night and the mode inwhich I was in, that's what I
wanted.
I didn't even have to ask you,you just stayed and I'm like,
okay, that's what I wanted.
I didn't even have to ask, youjust stayed and I'm like, okay,
that's what I like box check.
(39:38):
And then when you went over fora couple days and I think your
scent was on the pillow and Ismell a scent and just hug up to
that.
I miss my Chrissy.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Oh, baby, you never told me that I didn't.
That is so cute, oh.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
Then, as it got serious, it would be like the
things I guess of my lovelanguage that I like Because you
know how I work.
They probably don't know I workfrom home, even though the
office space is down in FultonMarket, so I don't have to go
there in the comfort of my home.
So that cliche statement of ifyou roll out of bed and I'm in
(40:27):
my drawers but I'm workingthough.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
Sometimes I'm like that, or sometimes I'm getting
dressed in workout gear becauseI might move on to the gym,
something like that if I I'mgetting dressed in workout gear
because I might go to the gym.
I like to run errands.
However, you would get doneworking, come back and know my
love language and just go cookme something, and here and here
and here.
Oh lord, you know I'm gonna putall that on the screen I see
(41:04):
but um, yeah.
So, whereas before, of course, Ican cook for myself, but I'm a
workaholic and a lot of times Iwould skip breakfast.
Wind up, it's 1 o'clock.
I'm like, oh, where did thetime go?
And completely skip breakfast,whereas now I'm having breakfast
every day, lunch every day anddinner, and it'll be like it's
(41:24):
not like you're cooking all ofthe time.
We'll take turns with that.
But it seems like breakfast.
You just go to that mode.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Yeah, that's because you gotta work.
And then typically, when I work, it's like a like a four hours
a day, four o'clock in themorning, so I'm back in enough
time to where you're, you know,brainstorming at your desk doing
everything that you need to do,and I feel like why not?
You know what I mean.
(41:54):
Like I know I've been up sincefour in the morning, but I'm up,
yeah, and you're working.
So for me, it's like I want todo those things for you.
I don't want you to have to.
First and foremost, you can'tnot eat.
Like you got to keep thosewhere they at.
(42:14):
He had to.
He had to keep those where theyat.
And um, second of all, like Idon't want you to leave from
where your focus is just to fixyou something to eat when I'm
here.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Like I'm here yeah, whereas my thought is like
you've been up since 4 am, thefirst thing that I would want to
do is go to sleep when I getback from work, but that you
don't do that I be tired, butI'm like maybe I finna in the
kitchen whipping up somethingreal quick, cuz it's it only
(42:49):
takes breakfast, not a long meal, like it's not that long to
cook it.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
So if I just sat and worked for a whole nother man
for four hours for the other man, why can't I come home to my
man and give him 30 minutes oftime to cook some food to make
sure he eats and then lay down?
Speaker 1 (43:11):
yeah, and I like that mentality, whereas before it
would be you're not getting nobreakfast, buddy, it's where
we're going to spend your moneyat a restaurant.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
No, I like to save, because the more money we save
from restaurants, the moreclothes I can buy.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
That's fine.
I mean I'm going to have tospend it anyway.
I'm going to have to spend itanyway.
Money come and go.
Yeah, I just like the, the, theaspect of being able to make it
and it be a disposable pieceand to enjoy life.
It's a tool to enjoy life.
Yeah, that's how I look at it.
(43:45):
Yeah, I do work hard.
I do work a little bit too muchsometimes, but it's my gift and
my curse, but it the gift.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
Part of it is when it's free time, when it's party
time, when it's turn up time, wecan do things differently than
having to be into the rat racethat everybody else you work a
lot, but you don't let workconsume you to where you don't
enjoy life, and that's what whatI love about you, because a lot
of people have the mentalityespecially like when you making
(44:17):
a lot of money, it's like I hadto work, work, work and then
family always come after that,like all the time, and I feel
like there has to be a certainlevel of balance, and you exude
that like.
You have this balance in yourlife where, yes, you're going to
work, yes, you're going to makeyour money, yes, you're going
to make your money, yes, you'regoing to try to find new ways to
(44:39):
make money, but when it comestime to relax and to be with
your family, to be with me, tobe with my son, my kids, like
you do that and I love you forthat.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
I love you too, baby I think that's that.
I think that's importantbecause that's how I grew up.
Family was at the center ofeverything to.
I think we said in anotherepisode where, um, I grew up in
poor neighborhood in inglewoodin chicago.
However, I'm a product of that,but because of I didn't want to
be like that, so it changed my-.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
And we grew up right down the street from each other.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
Well, you came on in Englewood later.
On.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
It was later on in life.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
When you came.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
How was you?
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
It was you said.
When did you?
Speaker 2 (45:35):
It was 2007, 2008.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
I've been off Nashville then, so oh, he was
out of the hood.
I'm just saying but, I was outthe hood by then.
You know, I was a little bougie.
I was in the suburbs by then.
Okay, okay, bought my firsthouse in 2006.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
Period, Period I had my first in 2000 and when was I
21?
Speaker 1 (45:59):
I don't know younger.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
I ain't know what to do with it, but I had it.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
But back on to you.
So I'm building up this littlestory of um and you say love, so
the things that it challengesme.
So this is one of those.
We listen and we don't judgemoments with you.
So you know anything about me.
I'm a neat freak and so mybaby's a little chaotic, but
(46:40):
we're gonna make an adjustmentand we deal with it.
So sometimes she misplaces a lotof things okay sometimes she
leaves things out of place, okay, but we adjust and everything
don't have to be like a showroomfloor all the time.
So no, this is what I tellmyself oh because that's.
(47:06):
This is how you are like if itwas me.
Every when you walk into thehouse, everything gonna be
perfect and not out of place.
However, with my baby, you know, you go into a couple rooms and
a couple, you know, likepillows when we get up off this
couch.
This is just how she gonnaleave this shit, whereas me, I'm
gonna put them back, I'm gonnado the little karate chop in the
(47:27):
middle and all of that, but Ilearned I still don't know how
you do it so nice.
I'll be trying to figure it out.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
I'll be saying I'm like which pillow go where?
And sometimes I know, sometimesyou didn't notice Was it
yesterday and this morning Imade up the bed in the room.
Speaker 1 (47:51):
Yeah, Somebody told me a long time ago, about 20, 25
years ago.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
millionaires make their bed before they wake up,
and I hear it all the time in myhead.
So that's what made me make itup for the past two days.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
Yeah, two days, but before that it's just been like
it's like a pillow fight in this, like somebody throwing the
shit out, I mean the stuff allaround.
But that's.
We did an adjustment.
Speaker 2 (48:13):
But acknowledge.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
And we don't judge acknowledge that I do
acknowledge that, since welisten and we don't judge we
listen, we listen and we don'tjudge sometimes all the time,
most of the time.
Speaker 2 (48:35):
so all the time when I'm in the bathroom, I'm always
typically the one that used thelast of the toilet paper and I
would leave just a little bit oftoilet paper on the road, just
so I don't have to change it.
I knew you was doing it.
We listen and we don't have tochange it.
I knew you was doing that.
(48:56):
We listen and we don't judge.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
I knew you was doing that, though.
I'm like who leaves faux plieson the road.
You can see the brown.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
We listen, you leave the brown, we listen, we listen
and we don't judge.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (49:27):
I'm gonna trip you.
You know in high school whenthey trip the back of your leg,
you hungry that means you hungryif you collapse.
Speaker 2 (49:39):
I think a lot of people get so honed in with the
fairy tale of relationships andthose good moments when you
first meet someone, it gets soacclimated to it that when the
tough part comes in, when youguys are merging personalities
and you're merging beliefs andyou're merging, you know ideas
(50:04):
between each other, you knowideas between each other.
Things that were once separatedcoming together can cause
conflict and a lot of people runfrom that stage.
Um, one thing that I I did wehaven't done it yet, but when we
got to that stage I felt it,and I to you we should get a
(50:25):
therapist.
A lot of people see therapy asa sense of OK, something's wrong
, let's try to get a mediator tofix it, and that could be
useful when things go wrong.
But why not get it when youknow that there's a challenge up
ahead and these people arebasically licensed to deal with
(50:50):
those said challenges?
It's hard, coming from twodifferent households, two
different lifestyles and mergingthem as one.
I mean you being late botheredme, me being messy bothers you.
You know what I'm saying andbeing able to deal with that
(51:11):
some people can't handle that.
You know what I mean.
So when you get to the pointwhen your infatuation, or what
they call the honeymoon phase,is coming to an end and you
start experiencing thesechallenges, this is when the
(51:37):
other podcast that we had we hadabout communication, about
infidelity, all of these thingsthis is when it comes into play,
because your mind would get tothe point where it's just like
something isn't right becauseit's not clicking.
It's just like something isn'tright because it's not clicking.
You're trying to force me intoyour world and not even thinking
about the world that I'vealready created for myself, or
I'm trying to force you into myworld, not even thinking about
(51:58):
that.
You created a world foryourself.
It's no longer you and me.
We're a team 's, a us and usbeing new.
We have to find that new umcombination of your beliefs and
my beliefs becoming our belief.
(52:19):
What do we believe in?
What do we want for ourrelationship?
How do we communicate?
And it's no longer a you and I.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
Going back on to what , why we jail, why we fail, why
I fail, for you is a part of allof the boxes being checked.
I guess I have to go along withthat theme.
It's like for me, my family isan important part of you being
accepting of that, and what wasmy family is an important part
of you being accepting of that.
And what was what worked was isbecause you got two sides of
(52:52):
your family but to you it feelssmall because you only interact
with a small subset of thisfamily and you want to latch on
to something that's big andloving.
And I have this and I had toget back.
I had to kind of like separatemyself for that, for a toxic
relationship, to satisfysomebody who were insecure
(53:14):
within themselves, who wastrying to keep me away from them
and my only thing to keep thepeace is okay, I can't hang out
with my cousins is like my bestfriends.
Yeah, they're my first best.
Honestly, they were and are.
They were my best friends andstill are.
I see that and you see it, andanybody on the outside looking
(53:35):
in, they see the videos orwhatever we post on social.
You know, sometimes you seethings on social and it's, it's
the hype of social like you canbe in a party no, y'all like
that for real, y'all look at youcould be at a party and be like
.
I was at that party, but itwasn't that lit yeah, no, no
it's that lit for real.
It's too lit to.
Speaker 2 (53:57):
Sometimes you got to take a break from it yeah, I
fall asleep like they'll stillbe partying, and I'm finding
somebody's couch, somebody'ssomething to lay down and go to
sleep.
Speaker 1 (54:08):
And that's facts.
So to be able to come into that, like I said, I threw you on
the deep end of the pool and yousurvived that and treaded water
in the ocean I'm talking about.
It's literally like what you'vemet over a hundred different
people and each event.
Sometimes events are biggerthan others, but that's the
(54:32):
environment that you thrive in.
It's like you having funsinging, dancing, talking
bullshit and talking, drinking,like whatever that.
That environment, oh my god, weare in.
Speaker 2 (54:45):
Oh my God, what the hell.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
And you thrive in it and the feedback that I get I
wasn't supposed to tell you this, but I'm pretty sure you feel
it it's like what kind of family, like my uncle told me what
kind of family that you can walkinto and she can come in and
have and just fit in, like asshe's been here for years with
us.
(55:06):
I even have friends that's likeI love your new girlfriend, like
they haven't even met you yetbut they love you, they love
your personality, how we putthese videos out, how we being
so vulnerable, how I'm backbecause they love me, they see
that I'm happy again.
Um, just being accepting of alot of things that for me, like
(55:29):
I sometimes I'm still looking atyou like the little, the little
I'm gonna put it on the screenthe little African boy that'd be
looking in disbelief like forreal yeah um, so it's like all
those things that I don't havethe certain anxieties that I had
in the past because I had todeal with so many layers of
(55:51):
insecurities, whereas this islike, okay, it's letting my hair
down.
The things I got to deal with isnot that bad and the stuff that
you challenged me with, like,let's go back on it.
We talked about my role rage.
We talked about it If we aireda private video.
We was over here bullshittingabout with Donisha.
Speaker 2 (56:09):
We might, we might or edit some snippets of it.
Speaker 1 (56:14):
But my role race is stemming from something deeper.
We talked about it from angerissues.
It's like what you're lookingat and I got that Like you're
looking out for us.
I got that like you looking outfor us.
Fuck with them.
People on the road talkingabout fuck what a nigga made,
(56:35):
even if he make me look like apussy.
It's like okay, but I'll be apussy the next day and the day
and the weeks and the yearsafter that and I'm too stuck on
looking like a pussy at thatmoment.
Fuck that nigga.
I don't like.
So I'm still working.
That's a work in progress andI'm working on it, but it's like
(56:57):
you challenging me to be betterat that.
Speaker 2 (57:01):
Yeah, I think going back to the infatuation ending
phase, the honeymoon endingphase and getting into the this
could be love and people runningaway from that, a lot of all of
your relationships that youhave with someone are meant to
(57:24):
bring parts out of you and showthe parts out of you that needs
healing.
It's meant to do that, likewhen you have a connection and a
bond with somebody.
Sometimes it's not going to bea forever bond, sometimes it is.
God, send people in your lifeto show you hey, buddy, you need
(57:45):
to work on this, just like you.
When it came down to my tone andme arguing and the way I get
loud and I always say I'mpassionate, I'm passionate I
calmed that down tremendously.
Yeah, because I'm like thisisn't passion, it's something
(58:05):
deeper than that that I need tofigure out, and I did.
I figured out where it camefrom and I told you like I felt
like nobody ever hears me.
I have middle child syndromeand I felt unseen.
I felt like my opinions didn'tmatter, didn't matter, my, my
(58:29):
advice didn't matter to peopleand it caused me to yell and
scream because I felt overtaughtall the time.
And then I saw how it made youfeel and I'm like I got to
change this.
This is something I have tochange about me.
We bring out.
It's like having a mirror, likeyou being a mirror for me, me
(58:50):
being a mirror for you, andsaying these are the ugly parts
of you, but it's okay that youhave these ugly parts, just as
long as you realize that they'rethere and you're willing to
work on them to become somethingmore beautiful.
I absolutely love you.
(59:13):
I love you too, like I do, andyou told everybody that I was
emotional and, yes, I'm cryingagain With you touching on the
subject of family, you know Idon't have a deep connection
with my family.
Like it's me and my sister.
(59:33):
You know what I'm saying.
Like that's my ride or die.
That's my ride or die, and it's.
My mom has nine kids and it'slike the closest person to me is
my youngest sibling and it'sbecause we understand each other
on a spiritual level and anemotional level and even when we
(59:58):
have disagreements, it's notcombative disagreements, it's
like, well, you know, to eachhis own.
You know what I mean, but westill accept advice from each
other.
And coming into your family andseeing how loving and caring
(01:00:18):
and big you know what I meanEverybody is and how they have
fun Like my family, have funtogether but eventually that fun
dissipate because what happensis somebody gets drunk and then
there's arguing and somebodywants to fight.
By that time I'm out the doorbecause I am the bougie one.
I will be like look, the gettercame out, it's time for me to
(01:00:42):
fly, but with your family at allthe events we've been to, it
has never been like that.
It's just fun the entire nightand it's like they show me love,
they show me that like I cameauthentically being me.
(01:01:04):
I didn't put on the front I say, oh, I can, oh, I can't do this
, I can't do that, or, you know,I got to be presentable for his
mom.
You know what I'm saying Like Ididn't overthink it.
I always want to show upauthentically as me, even when
we met for the first time andyou said something.
You want the truth or you wantthe.
Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
And I said I always want the truth.
Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
No, you want the lie no matter how it makes me feel,
no matter if it's gonna hurt.
I always want the truth.
So, me wanting the truth, Iwant to give you the truth.
So I'm going to show up asmyself, no matter what situation
I'm in, and if nobody acceptsme, it means that I'm not meant
(01:01:44):
to be there, and that was mymindset, going into it with your
family.
Just be you, chrissy and I knowit's cliche and people give
everybody that advice beyourself, be yourself.
It's so true.
In order to be intentional, inorder to be intentional, in
order to grow as an individual,you have to show up
(01:02:07):
authentically as you.
It's not to say that you don'tneed change.
It's not to say there aren'tthings that you don't need to
work on, because I think a lotof people do that.
Well, I'm good, I'm me, I'm woo, woo, woo, and they stay the
toxic version of themselves.
When you get into certainrelationships like friendships,
(01:02:28):
family ships, romanticrelationships show up as you and
nine times out of 10, thatperson is going to say, hey,
that's ugly on you, but you'resuch a beautiful person and you
should probably work on thatwithin yourself.
And don't take it offensively,because nine times out of 10,
(01:02:49):
god presented that person to youto show you that you do have a
better version of yourself,because we all do.
There is the strongest side ofus.
Our spirit wants to thrive andwe don't allow it because we
drown it with alcohol, we drownit with um, past relationship
(01:03:11):
drama.
All that toxicity weighs itdown.
And God keep bringing people inour life to say, even if it
don't come off pretty to you,he'll bring somebody in your
life and say, hey, that thatright there that you got going
on, that's not what I createdyou for, that's not within your
(01:03:32):
purpose.
Fix that.
And if you don't take itpersonal and you take everything
as a learning lesson, you willthrive.
You will definitely thrive.
And I think that's what goesthrough my head when we have
conflict, like I'm going tolisten to you because you could
possibly be telling me something, because I can't see me on the
(01:03:53):
outside looking in.
You can't see you on theoutside looking in.
So when I say things, even whenwe have our disagreements, I
always tell you I am not yourenemy because I'm not.
Tell you I am not your enemybecause I'm not.
I'm only here for your growth.
I'm only here so we can growtogether.
So anything that I tell you isbecause I'm seeing something in
(01:04:16):
you that you might not be ableto see for yourself, and I want
you to take that as okay.
My baby is looking at me withlens that I can't have for
myself right now, and how can wework through this?
How can we fix this?
And sometimes I have to take asecond and do the same thing
(01:04:38):
with you, because sometimes Iget a little insecure, because I
just want to be so perfect,right, I want to be like this
perfect girl for you, but theperfect person don't really
exist.
You know what I mean.
Like, I'm sorry, I just when Iget to talking, I get to talking
(01:04:58):
baby well, we got to wrap thisup, so this has been another
episode of.
Pure Intentions 314.
We have to start adding that,the 314 part.
Speaker 1 (01:05:14):
Okay, yeah, I always add it PureIntentions314.com.
Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
Catch us next Wednesday and every Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
And Merry fucking Christmas to you guys.
Speaker 1 (01:05:30):
It's Christmas and then New Year's we gonna turn up
2025 period see y'all next week.
We listen and we don't judge.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Sometimes all the time, most of the time.
So all the time when I'm in thebathroom, I'm always typically
the one that used the last ofthe toilet paper and I would
leave just a little bit oftoilet paper on the road, just
(00:28):
so I don't have to change it.
We listen and we don't judge.
Welcome to the Pure IntentionsPodcast, where real love, raw
emotions and intentionalrelationships come together.
Welcome to the Pure IntentionsPodcast, where we talk
everything relationship from anintentional point come together.
Welcome to the Pure Intentionspodcast where we talk everything
relationship from anintentional point of view.
I am your host, chrissy A.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
And I'm your co-host, sir Anthony.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
And today we're gonna talk.
We're gonna talk aboutrelationships, how we started
our relationship, the differencebetween love and infatuation.
We're just going to flow withthe conversation today.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
So that's why you didn't tell me the topic.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I mean we're just going to flow.
We just gonna flow.
Um, I really wanted to talkabout how we met, because a lot
of people ask us, like when theyare in our space and they're
getting to know our vibe witheach other, they say how did
(01:37):
y'all meet?
So I feel like that's animportant story for our
listeners.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
All right.
So this had.
What had happened was I was ina spot doing the Fifi and I had
like 30 chicks on me and theywas just I couldn't which one.
I'm over here, I'm over there.
I got one on my neck and then Isaw Shorty, like she was
standing at me up and down, butI'm like man, I got 29 chicks on
(02:04):
me.
She was staying at me up anddown, but I'm like man, I got 29
chicks on me.
So then I scooted about 13 ofthem out the way, but then FOMO
came back and I'm in here, I'mhaving a good time.
I'm like oh, oh.
Then I went to the bar to get adrink because there was too
many on me and about four ofthem was in the back, and then
you was like hey, I see you overthere vibing and doing your
(02:25):
thing, like can I get out whatthe fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
you know what that remind me of?
Speaker 1 (02:30):
like that martin episode where everybody had to
tell their point of view of thestory well, this ain't that this
definitely became that sowhat's the real story?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
so, matter of fact, we don't have to go into like
full details about how we met,but we can talk about like the
first time we saw each other.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
That's what happened.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I had like 35 of them Okay now let's get to a serious
mode, because that is not whathappened.
First and foremost, when I very, very first saw you, you came
into what was called Tilly's.
At the time it was New Year'sEve.
It was New Year's Eve, it wasNew Year's Eve and I hosted
(03:14):
karaoke at Tilly's.
I was standing at the DJ boothand I seen him walking through.
He had on this little, you hada trench coat, right, he had
this trench.
He just had grown man status,like walking.
And if anybody from Chicagothat is listening or watching
right now, y'all already know,y'all already know that Tilly's
(03:39):
is like a hood spot.
If you been, it's like realhood, like a lot of hood guys
coming there.
So for me, hosting it everyweek and seeing somebody like
that walk in, it was like,definitely my type, like I'm
like, oh my God, he's fine ashell.
Thank you, yeah, but I Icouldn't shoot my shot because
(04:03):
he was with somebody.
It was, yeah, he was withsomebody Was.
Yeah, he was with somebody atthe time and I'm not that girl.
I'm not the girl that playssecond to anybody.
I'm not the girl that's goingto chase up after a man and
trying to convince him that I'mclearly better than the woman
that he's with.
You know, I'm just not thatgirl.
I am for being seriously though.
(04:25):
I am so much for black love andfor me I'm not going to come
into somebody else's situationLike that would have been weird.
So you know, it was like.
You know I was like crushingfrom the sideline.
But you know, out of sight, outof mind, after you know,
continuously seeing you, it'slike the reaction was kind of
(04:47):
different because it's like youbelong to somebody else.
So now my mind has to depletefrom anything.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Naughty.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Anything that involved a you and a me in it.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yes, and scrupulous ideas in your head about me.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yes, I did, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
When I came to the spot, I had the trench coat on,
like in the movies, and it flowout and it was like I swayed up
in that joint.
The crowd moved as I walkedthrough that joint.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Mm-hmm, it was like 10 people at that time?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
No, it wasn't, it was bussing in.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Right, but when y'all first came in it was nobody
there.
They started to come in later,like after midnight.
That's why we stay open laterwhy you bust up my story because
tell the truth I'm.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I am telling the truth.
It was flowing like you've everseen the movie.
Uh, face off yeah, when uhwalked through the doors and the
birds flew up the one beforethat, when they was at the
airport tarmac and he had ablack trench coat on that was
flowing in the wind when he hadhis double uh gold desert eagles
I got you baby time stood stillwas like slow motion yeah and
(06:09):
you and like 15 others was likeyeah, let me stop fucking that's
exactly what happened.
I just gave my first reaction toyou so for me I know you
already know because I was I waslocked in on somebody else so I
(06:33):
wasn't focused on you, althoughyou were the star of the show
being the host of that thing.
It was packed in that joint, itwas.
It was nice yeah but myattention wasn't there.
Now, as I continue to come back, I was acclimated to you
because I was introduced to you,but it was like a friend thing
and I'm, yeah, the way I am.
I'm respectful of who I'm with.
(06:55):
If this is their friend, I'llget them a little side friend
hug and that's about it.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
But I'm not we barely hug, but it was.
It was times where it would belike a little church hug yeah,
yeah, that's something to getyou no, I get it, though, and
that was part of the reason whyI like crushed you a little bit
(07:28):
more, because it's like the likeguys even in that space that
come there with their girl wouldliterally be eyeing me.
Like you know that the ad andthe ad moment Sometimes a
girlfriend would do it.
So like I just enjoyed the fact.
(07:49):
It was refreshing to see a manwho could have possibly been
attracted to a woman butrespected his relationship
enough not to cross thoseboundaries.
Yeah, and it wasn't like a oh,I see what he doing, he doing,
I'm gonna ease up in there, oranything.
I really feel like that.
(08:09):
Our situation was basicallylike a fate situation, like the
right time, the right moment hadto happen, because when we
actually actually you stoppedcoming to Tilly's mm-hmm,
tilly's basically closed, butthen there was another spot and
you didn't come there.
(08:29):
So I hadn't seen him in whatsince February, because it was
around my birthday.
Yeah, I think the last time youcame was around my birthday if
I'm'm not mistaken, the new spotyeah the new spot wasn't the
same vibe as the former spot,but you know it had its
(08:51):
moment the sangas was there yeah, that, but the crowd, no, I had
.
You was February, come what wasit?
(09:13):
July, july, july.
My friend, one of my friends,she had her.
She was celebrating herbirthday.
So we ended up going to a beachparty on the lakefront and it
was an all-white beach party.
I really did not want to go,though, like I don't know, I got
(09:38):
into my mood of beingaccustomed to staying at home
and just vibing and chilling athome or just hanging with my
friends in the crib cooking andlike I got into my like old lady
stage.
You know I wasn't.
I was at the point where I wastired of dating and you know my
friends just like, no, we finnago out here and find some, you
(10:00):
know.
And I was just like, all right,cool, I bought me a little
white swimsuit because I didn'thave any white, and we went to
an all-white party?
Yeah it was all white, so weended up going to the lakefront
and I was getting some food.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
And guess who I saw.
That's how this meant.
So yeah, bumped into you at thefood spot and, um, I had
literally just got out of thattoxic relationship, like a week
before, and you had asked meabout that and I was like I'm
(10:37):
single and prior so I didn't askhim was he still in a
relationship with her?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
I just want to make that clear.
I just asked him like wherey'all, what my home girl at you
know, like that, because I'm soused to seeing y'all together.
So for me it was like kind ofrespectful to see you there and
just, you know, ask about her.
So it wasn't on like no sneak.
I just want to clear that up.
It wasn't on no sneaky stufflike um, I don't see you with
(11:06):
shorty, what's going on?
It was more so you did.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
You asked.
The first question you asked iswhere she at.
And I was like, nah, we doneain't no more of that, like it's
done, done that's not what Igot when you said that, though
no you was like um nah, sheain't with me, no more, no, no.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
You said she ain't with me, she ain't here.
So I just assumed yeah, I justassumed she wasn't there and I
think it's a part of you thatdon't want your like.
You just didn't want thebusiness out there like that
well, probably I did.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
That's the type of person I am.
I'm not gonna broadcast mypersonal business.
This is like the first timethat I would have done something
like that.
We're opening up, the point ofthis is open up for the podcast,
but in general, oh no, you'renot gonna get.
I'm Fort Knox, you're not gonna, you're gonna have to make your
speculations.
Yeah, whatever you believe iswhat you believe yeah um, but
(12:00):
yeah, I probably did say thatthat sounds like me, but prior
to that it was like that thinghad ran its course a week before
.
I took some time because I hadalready been taking like this
personal time for me, becausethat was like not going well.
(12:20):
And I was chilling by myself andI just took some time and I
went down to Indianapolis tohang out with my homie, terry
Shout out to my boy.
But I spent some family timewith him to regroup, get my head
together, because what I had tosacrifice in that last
relationship was family and itwas, like you said, refreshing
(12:45):
to go down with him and a familyoriented and to just hang out
as as family.
Hung out with his uh, he gotadolescence boys in one team.
Hung out with them.
We fixed the gate like we diddude stuff and then that cleared
my head, came back to chicago,hung out with more of my nieces
and nephews to like, okay, thisis what I've been missing.
And then one of my cousins saidhey, come to this all-white
beach party.
I'm like I'm going and, to behonest, I'm like I'm hoeing he,
(13:12):
like I'm finna be a hoe Istraight up free.
I'm about to be.
I'm about to be on the beachand ran into you.
I did run into a couple otheryoung ladies, but they didn't
catch my eye like you caught myeye, because that whole day we
was locked in talking vibingjust in our own little world.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Yeah, because at first it was just like at the
food place, it was just like ahi and a bye, and then we kind
of separated and then I walkedpast you again and we started
talking again.
And then that's when I knewlike y'all wasn't together, no
(13:56):
more.
And then you asked me you'relike, how close was y'all?
And I'm like we wasn't close atall.
I will be real, because wewasn't.
Like she was a regular at thespot that I worked at and I
(14:17):
played it cool.
Like everybody was cool.
I vibed with everybody, but Iwouldn't consider them to be my
friends.
I vibe with everybody, but Iwouldn't consider them to be my
friends.
I wouldn't even go as close tosay that they were my associates
because we didn't talk at alloutside of that space.
So, like you were cool, thatwas my job, I was at work.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
So you know that happened, yeah, but I'm just
like, but let me give you your,uh, your moment.
So, like I was over theretalking to my my cousin, to
nando.
He gonna be on the show, um,shortly yeah, me and nando big
ups so I'm sitting there talkingto him, telling him cuz I'm
about to be out here, I'm aboutto hope today, right now, in 30
seconds.
He's like I don't do your thingcuz you know you've been, and
(15:04):
so you started walking pastagain and I'm looking at all of
the guys looking their head,doing like this you just over
here, with this slow, sensualswitch, shoulders back, coming
locked in, coming straight at me.
I didn't think he was coming tome, I thought she was going to
the food court, but then I waslike, oh, here, like I'll talk
(15:28):
to you later, cuz he clean, walkright off I remember that he
let me do my thing, and we gotto talking.
It was like from that moment wewas talking and the only break
from that was because I did goback and see kiana yeah, your
family and then I came backagain because I had a chair and
(15:49):
all this other stuff.
I had to like find that like Ilost track of all of that stuff
and we was locked in talking,dancing, vibing, drinking, oh,
baby we made out and it's so.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
It's so funny because , like I, I have been previously
dating and me previously dating.
I haven't been feeling likeconnections with people and it's
like this thing like whenyou're dating, people think that
you're in a movie, so theythink once you go on a date with
them and then a date ends,you're supposed to kiss them.
(16:21):
Nick, no.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Why not?
I don't know where your lipsbeen.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
They trying to be on you first of all look at them
luscious, first of all, and they, they this, they this way,
because I take good care of themand, mom, I can't be putting my
mouth on every single person.
And now I'm in, like I'm, mymindset is I'm dating.
So until like, even then,that's what I told you.
(16:51):
Until I met the person I wantedto be with, I didn't want to be
actively out there withdifferent men.
So, um yeah, we were kissinglike dead ass, making out all
over the beach Like my.
It was my friend's birthday.
(17:11):
Her birthday didn't matter.
Nobody around me matter likenothing else.
It was like everybodydisappeared and it was just me
and you there, and it was somagical of a moment that I
didn't even want the night toend at all do we go into the
rest of the night?
(17:33):
wait time out.
I didn't want the night to end.
So, um, what was I getting at?
Us kissing, we making out, weenjoying each other company, we
enjoying each other company.
And, oh, my homegirls, when wetalked about it afterwards, we
(17:56):
talked about all our experiencesthat night, and they was like
Chrissy, you was in straightlover girl mode.
They thought I had just met youfor the very first time at the
beach and I'm like no, what typeof girl you think I am?
Oh no, but it was a moment.
(18:20):
I really enjoyed it.
It was and we can go furtherinto it.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
But that night you and your friends got me drunk
these chiclets.
Going to take some BCs.
Oh, yeah, because they knewwhat type of drinking we was
going to be doing.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
That's one thing I learned from my homegirls is to
always take a BC before youabout to get lit.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Okay, I didn't think we was going to get that lit.
I knew we was going to drink,but not straight, with no juice.
So we over there.
What game was we playing?
We were drinking straight.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yes, what game was that?
We ended up going back to myhomegirl house.
It was me, it was three of uswomen, and then it was Tony oh,
sir Anthony and two other guysthat was there for my homegirls.
So we just playing games,drinking games.
(19:22):
I don't remember what it was.
Never have I ever.
I don't know, but we lost asguys and baby, they were so lit,
they were so lit every, I thinkwe all, everybody was lit in
that house that night yeah, butwe didn't have bcs and so it
kicked our butts.
(19:42):
Oh, that's personal.
And everybody ended up spendingthe night because that's how
drunk we was.
Everybody spent the night at myfriend's house.
The next morning we go to mycar.
Somebody broke into my car,they broke into my car.
All my stuff that was in my caris literally scattered Like.
(20:07):
As soon as I walk out the doormy car is like further down a
couple of houses.
I'm walking out, I see my purse.
I'm like that's my purse.
The purse didn't have nothingin it, you know, but I guess we
was in a hood.
I shouldn't have left the purseright there.
But that's not the point.
Like my doors was unlockedbecause the guys had went back
(20:29):
to the car to get something outmy car and forgot to lock the
doors back because it waspouring down, raining y'all.
Yeah, it was pouring down.
So I went from beach to pouringrain, yeah yeah, and man, all my
stuff was on the ground.
I saw condoms, pictures, allthose types of subjects
(20:51):
everywhere, scattered everywhereon the ground.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
It was a night it was fun yeah, I had a headache in
the morning, but it was fun.
I didn't have a headache yeah,none of the girls had headaches
let's move it to our first datethe first date was at the house
right yeah, it was literally thenext day it was it was the very
(21:15):
next day.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
y'all don't understand how my anxiety work,
right.
So I I had I made up in my mindlike, oh, I'm really attracted
to this guy, I really, reallylike him, and you didn't text.
I screenshotted the text.
You didn't text fast enough forme.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Say that because I did text yes, you did text.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
You said, oh damn, baby, we was texting.
But July the 15th you told meyou were home.
And I'm like you got there fastand it was like until you told
me you was home at eight o'clockand I was waiting for a text
(22:11):
message.
Like I'm talking to you, wetalk to everybody talking about
the experiences, and I'm justlike he ain't text me yet.
He ain't text me yet.
You text me at 4 14, whichisn't a bad thing.
I'm just telling y'all that myanxiety just went through the
roof because I'm like I'mfeeling this guy and I don't
(22:33):
want another situation where I'mkind of liking a guy and then
he just like ghost, but Iwouldn't have been, I wouldn't
have been mad about it.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
It just would have been like a letdown Like damn.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
I'm pretty sure like no excuses, but that was a
Sunday.
You was drunk, you wasrecovering.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Day party.
So then Monday I would haveprobably you know how hectic my
Mondays are, but I probably didslack off and slept it off Then
worked Then got back to tell you, so it's not no, you told me.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
You just woke up from a nap.
It was because you was lit.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
I was yeah, so I didn't go to work that monday.
No, sorry, clients, if you'rewatching this, please don't
watch this but this was thething you had told me.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
You was like I just jerk some chicken thighs and I'm
like jerk.
You know, that's my.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
That's like a love language to me and if you see
our food videos, we should postsome of that on our channel yeah
, we can do that it don't haveto be all about the business.
It could this.
This is how we became a couple.
We have a love for food andit's almost like you know what
(23:51):
we're going to start a friendlycompetition.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I do want to start.
We have a couple's channel forthat, though.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Follow our other TikTok channel and it's called
the Wheels.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Takeover yes.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
You'll see a lot of cool stuff karaoke stuff, food
stuff.
Yeah, follow that channel forthat so you had texted me.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
You was like you was finna, jerk, some chicken thighs
, and you had some bakedpotatoes and some veggies and I
said, sounds good, jerk isdefinitely my favorite food.
And he was like you coming fordinner, laugh out loud, but he's
still coming, like coming.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Oh, I said that.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Yes.
So at that time, oh my God, Atthat time I think I had.
No, I didn't have my son, did I?
I might have had my son?
Nope, that was a different daystraight off with simone no,
coco watched him for me.
One day we hung out, cocowatched him for me.
(24:51):
Okay, right, big ups to cocofor that.
She was a real mvp.
But um, I went over, we haddinner.
That's when I found out hecould cook.
And after dinner we just talked.
Did we have sex?
We didn't have sex that day.
(25:13):
We didn't have sex that day, wedidn't.
Okay, I think I'm on my period.
Yeah, after them chicken thighsboy.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Oh man, that's yeah them.
Chicken thighs made me want toshow my thighs but no, I'm the
one with the shameless plug, butwhen we talked, you brought
these cards and then not ourcars, but that's what inspired
the.
Well, this is one of many deckswe have.
(25:46):
What right now?
Three, four, four decksavailable and we're going to get
to seven yeah, seven in acouple weeks, but each one are
different, so this one is theconversation starter.
So I suggest that you startwith this, for, just like the in
general, you're want to date,or you're with your spouse, or
(26:09):
you with somebody you're datingfor a long time and you want to
get rid of that awkward silenceor just get to more deeper
conversation to learn the personnecessary conversation
necessary conversation.
So we have a couple's deck, wehave a beyond dating um we have
a friendship deck, because yougotta date your friends too.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
We have a reignite deck.
That's the deck where you getout of a relationship and you
thinking, hey, I think I want totry this relationship again
with the same exact person, andthis is a good deck for that
particular situation yes, sofrom those cards oh, we have
five decks the you and Me deck.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
I forgot about that.
That just came out.
Well when this airs, it'llalready be in the store.
Check out all of the decks thatwe have in the Purititious
store on purititious314.com, andyou'll see them all and more
developing.
But it was a great tool to openup for us to have dialogue,
(27:13):
because I didn't know what itwas.
But it was fun though, and Iwas at a point of vulnerability
and I was for me.
I was going to be honest anyway.
Yeah, where some guys they'renot going to be as open, but you
should be open and honest aboutit, because it's intentional
dating.
Is this the right person for me?
And if it's not, it's okay.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
It's early, you know she can move around and or I can
move around you know, yeah, butI wanted to get into more of
the topic that we were supposedto talk about that wasn't the
topic.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
No, it was part of it .
Speaker 2 (27:50):
But you know, I told you we're just going to flow,
we're going to flow through.
This one I did want to talkabout because it kind of goes
hand in hand infatuation versuslove.
Typically, infatuation was whatwe felt that day at the beach
(28:11):
Like everything was perfect,Like I couldn't.
I didn't see any flaws in youat the beach, and it was like
that for a couple of weeks,weeks weeks too yeah, no facts.
It was probably a month okay, Ithink it was a month, a month
(28:33):
and a half of no flaws andeverything just seemed perfect.
We were, you were introducingme to your family Literally the
day after the beach.
I don't think we spent morethan two days apart from each
other.
That is true and it's like whatdid it for me was um.
(29:02):
My father had just passed awayand you had a cousin's, a
cousin's um.
80 was 80 cousins 90s party 90sparty and you asked me if I
wanted to come and I'm likethat's the same day that my
(29:22):
father's repass is.
And, um, in the past, dealingwith relationships and death in
my, I haven't had a partner thatwas like really supportive.
So I feel like that God waslike guiding you to be there in
(29:44):
a specific point in my life sothat I can value the type of man
that you were.
And you showed up and it'scrazy because his friends, his,
his I was gonna say friendsgiving his cousin's night was
literally around the corner fromwhere we had my dad's repackage
(30:08):
it wasn't even what fiveminutes away yeah, it was down
the street it was literally downthe street.
It's like literally everythingwas faith worthy and God put us
in positions to just show up foreach other.
Girlies.
Look if y'all got a good lipscrub this is so off topic
(30:32):
comment with a good lip scrubbecause I've been searching,
I've been trying to find my lipsto be pilled.
I don't like that.
I don't like it, but anyways,back to it.
Um no, but you showed up at myfather's repass.
(30:52):
We had not been dating thatlong at all.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Like my father just passed away, I think it was like
a week or less and I think itwas a weekend the next weekend
after we met.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Yeah, my father passed away.
You showed up and he and I'mthinking like you, just come in,
a pull up, because you have tobe the cameraman for your family
and they were depending on youto be there to be the camera and
sorry uh family, I don't havethose photos like I'm supposed
to, which y'all know y'all loveme.
(31:26):
Anyway, he pulled up and, oh,you were so handsome.
He pulls up and he came in andstayed there the entire repass,
like literally sat, and you wereso supportive.
(31:47):
You sat right next to me theentire repass and that's like a
moment that I hold, that I'llhold with me forever, like it
meant so much and I know thatGod knew how much that meant to
me and he put you there so thatI can see you for who you were.
(32:07):
So I appreciate that moment.
And then, right after that, wewent to the cousin's night.
And we had a ball had a ballyeah and what's.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
I can appreciate you because this is like less than a
weekend and I threw you in thedeep.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
I told you I'm throwing you in the deep end of
the pool when I tell you hisfamily don't know how to set
their ass down.
They do not know how to sitdown, but I love it though, I
absolutely love it like.
But sometimes I'll be like nah,babe, you got this one, you got
this one on your own and I'lllet them just go, because I'll
be so tired and you will reallyhave to recuperate after
(32:52):
spending time with them, becausethey do not.
They do not go to sleep, theyjust be up they don't know how
to go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
They like to party 24 7 they're a lot of fun a lot of
fun and I've been prepping youso when we go on this trip out
of town.
We are gonna leave them yeahand we're gonna damn we can't
say that I was about to say it.
(33:21):
But they gonna watch this andthen they gonna be like uh-uh.
You told me you was gonna turnyour phone off.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
You told me you was gonna yeah, don't do that we're
gonna cut this part out.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
But we leaving y'all, we turning our our phones off,
we faking like that, the Wi-Finot working on so well on our
phones on the resort and live onthat.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
So we ain't get the call, we ain't get no memo.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
And we gonna tell y'all the wrong room number.
So when y'all come looking forus and knocking on our door,
it's not our door.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
That's so petty.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
That's only gonna work for one day that's so petty
, they gonna find our ass.
They gonna go down there anddrag us out the room like come
on um, well, back to it.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Infatuation, I feel like, is what we felt on the
first day everything was perfect, everything was good,
everything felt good, it lookedgood, it smelled good, like
everything was like a fairy tale.
But the difference between thatand love, right, it's like
infection.
Infatuation is when you seeeverything to be perfect.
(34:31):
Love is when you see everythingisn't perfect and you still
want to stay.
The first time that I realizedthat I was absolutely in love
with you was when you pissed meoff.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Which time was when you pissed me off?
Speaker 2 (34:56):
which time.
It was a time when I don't likebeing late for stuff y'all.
I really don't like being latefor stuff y'all.
(35:17):
I really don't like being latefor things.
And he was making us late forsomething.
But I expressed to him that Idon't like being late for things
and we had a disagreement aboutit.
And I think that was our firstreal disagreement and I fought
(35:40):
myself on that, because I thinkthat sometimes when you're so
used to toxic situations oryou're so used to people letting
you down, you want to runbefore someone lets you down
again.
And I fought myself because inmy head I'm like I don't think I
(36:02):
want to be in a relationship,no more, I don't think I was
ready for this.
Maybe I should be by myself,like those are thoughts that was
going through my head.
But then, like I'm like no,he's a good man and're going to
self-sabotage a good man for aminute moment.
It was hard for me because weactually kind of yelled at each
(36:30):
other and it made me feel likeit wasn't going to work because
of that moment and there wasstill parts of me that need
healing.
But I love the fact that I canrecognize that and say no, set
your ass down somewhere.
We're about to work at this andwe're going to try everything
(36:52):
that we can before just givingup.
And if I try everything that Ican and it still doesn't work,
then I know that I tried and metrying the things that I could.
It was like you were receptive.
It might not have happenedimmediately, like I was talking
(37:16):
to you and to me you wasn'tlistening, but then the next day
it's like you're doing thingsthat show me that you were
listening.
I knew I was in love with youwhen, every day that I woke up,
no matter how upset we got witheach other when we went to bed,
(37:38):
we was holding each other.
When we woke up, it was baby,this baby, that we talked things
out and I still wanted you.
I didn't have a desire to bealone.
I didn't have a true desire tofind somebody else.
(38:00):
Like the thing is, you're goingto always end up in a situation
because no two people are alikewhere you're going to disagree.
But what I feel like is everydisagreement that we have, it
kind of gets better and betteras far as communication goes,
(38:24):
and I'm like I could spend therest of my life with this man
because he gets it.
Even when you don't get it,you're willing to understand it,
and that's everything to me.
Aww it you're willing tounderstand it and that's
(38:46):
everything to me.
What say it nothing?
Okay, letting you have yourmoment.
So when did you?
Speaker 1 (38:56):
feel like you knew you was in love with me, I think
.
As for me, it was like it was.
It has to be that it was likemoments and it was checking
boxes and I don't know if Ishould reveal those box checks
why not?
um, I guess the first box thatwas started to check like, okay,
I'm really so, I have to buildup to this.
(39:17):
I'm really vibing with her whenwe was in our dating phases,
like you said, it was timeswhere you would come over and
spend the night and the mode inwhich I was in, that's what I
wanted.
I didn't even have to ask you,you just stayed and I'm like,
okay, that's what I wanted.
I didn't even have to ask, youjust stayed and I'm like, okay,
that's what I like box check.
(39:38):
And then when you went over fora couple days and I think your
scent was on the pillow and Ismell a scent and just hug up to
that.
I miss my Chrissy.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Oh, baby, you never told me that I didn't.
That is so cute, oh.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
Then, as it got serious, it would be like the
things I guess of my lovelanguage that I like Because you
know how I work.
They probably don't know I workfrom home, even though the
office space is down in FultonMarket, so I don't have to go
there in the comfort of my home.
So that cliche statement of ifyou roll out of bed and I'm in
(40:27):
my drawers but I'm workingthough.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
Sometimes I'm like that, or sometimes I'm getting
dressed in workout gear becauseI might move on to the gym,
something like that if I I'mgetting dressed in workout gear
because I might go to the gym.
I like to run errands.
However, you would get doneworking, come back and know my
love language and just go cookme something, and here and here
and here.
Oh lord, you know I'm gonna putall that on the screen I see
(41:04):
but um, yeah.
So, whereas before, of course, Ican cook for myself, but I'm a
workaholic and a lot of times Iwould skip breakfast.
Wind up, it's 1 o'clock.
I'm like, oh, where did thetime go?
And completely skip breakfast,whereas now I'm having breakfast
every day, lunch every day anddinner, and it'll be like it's
(41:24):
not like you're cooking all ofthe time.
We'll take turns with that.
But it seems like breakfast.
You just go to that mode.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Yeah, that's because you gotta work.
And then typically, when I work, it's like a like a four hours
a day, four o'clock in themorning, so I'm back in enough
time to where you're, you know,brainstorming at your desk doing
everything that you need to do,and I feel like why not?
You know what I mean.
(41:54):
Like I know I've been up sincefour in the morning, but I'm up,
yeah, and you're working.
So for me, it's like I want todo those things for you.
I don't want you to have to.
First and foremost, you can'tnot eat.
Like you got to keep thosewhere they at.
(42:14):
He had to.
He had to keep those where theyat.
And um, second of all, like Idon't want you to leave from
where your focus is just to fixyou something to eat when I'm
here.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Like I'm here yeah, whereas my thought is like
you've been up since 4 am, thefirst thing that I would want to
do is go to sleep when I getback from work, but that you
don't do that I be tired, butI'm like maybe I finna in the
kitchen whipping up somethingreal quick, cuz it's it only
(42:49):
takes breakfast, not a long meal, like it's not that long to
cook it.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
So if I just sat and worked for a whole nother man
for four hours for the other man, why can't I come home to my
man and give him 30 minutes oftime to cook some food to make
sure he eats and then lay down?
Speaker 1 (43:11):
yeah, and I like that mentality, whereas before it
would be you're not getting nobreakfast, buddy, it's where
we're going to spend your moneyat a restaurant.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
No, I like to save, because the more money we save
from restaurants, the moreclothes I can buy.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
That's fine.
I mean I'm going to have tospend it anyway.
I'm going to have to spend itanyway.
Money come and go.
Yeah, I just like the, the, theaspect of being able to make it
and it be a disposable pieceand to enjoy life.
It's a tool to enjoy life.
Yeah, that's how I look at it.
(43:45):
Yeah, I do work hard.
I do work a little bit too muchsometimes, but it's my gift and
my curse, but it the gift.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
Part of it is when it's free time, when it's party
time, when it's turn up time, wecan do things differently than
having to be into the rat racethat everybody else you work a
lot, but you don't let workconsume you to where you don't
enjoy life, and that's what whatI love about you, because a lot
of people have the mentalityespecially like when you making
(44:17):
a lot of money, it's like I hadto work, work, work and then
family always come after that,like all the time, and I feel
like there has to be a certainlevel of balance, and you exude
that like.
You have this balance in yourlife where, yes, you're going to
work, yes, you're going to makeyour money, yes, you're going
to make your money, yes, you'regoing to try to find new ways to
(44:39):
make money, but when it comestime to relax and to be with
your family, to be with me, tobe with my son, my kids, like
you do that and I love you forthat.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
I love you too, baby I think that's that.
I think that's importantbecause that's how I grew up.
Family was at the center ofeverything to.
I think we said in anotherepisode where, um, I grew up in
poor neighborhood in inglewoodin chicago.
However, I'm a product of that,but because of I didn't want to
be like that, so it changed my-.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
And we grew up right down the street from each other.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
Well, you came on in Englewood later.
On.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
It was later on in life.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
When you came.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
How was you?
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
It was you said.
When did you?
Speaker 2 (45:35):
It was 2007, 2008.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
I've been off Nashville then, so oh, he was
out of the hood.
I'm just saying but, I was outthe hood by then.
You know, I was a little bougie.
I was in the suburbs by then.
Okay, okay, bought my firsthouse in 2006.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
Period, Period I had my first in 2000 and when was I
21?
Speaker 1 (45:59):
I don't know younger.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
I ain't know what to do with it, but I had it.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
But back on to you.
So I'm building up this littlestory of um and you say love, so
the things that it challengesme.
So this is one of those.
We listen and we don't judgemoments with you.
So you know anything about me.
I'm a neat freak and so mybaby's a little chaotic, but
(46:40):
we're gonna make an adjustmentand we deal with it.
So sometimes she misplaces a lotof things okay sometimes she
leaves things out of place, okay, but we adjust and everything
don't have to be like a showroomfloor all the time.
So no, this is what I tellmyself oh because that's.
(47:06):
This is how you are like if itwas me.
Every when you walk into thehouse, everything gonna be
perfect and not out of place.
However, with my baby, you know, you go into a couple rooms and
a couple, you know, likepillows when we get up off this
couch.
This is just how she gonnaleave this shit, whereas me, I'm
gonna put them back, I'm gonnado the little karate chop in the
(47:27):
middle and all of that, but Ilearned I still don't know how
you do it so nice.
I'll be trying to figure it out.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
I'll be saying I'm like which pillow go where?
And sometimes I know, sometimesyou didn't notice Was it
yesterday and this morning Imade up the bed in the room.
Speaker 1 (47:51):
Yeah, Somebody told me a long time ago, about 20, 25
years ago.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
millionaires make their bed before they wake up,
and I hear it all the time in myhead.
So that's what made me make itup for the past two days.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
Yeah, two days, but before that it's just been like
it's like a pillow fight in this, like somebody throwing the
shit out, I mean the stuff allaround.
But that's.
We did an adjustment.
Speaker 2 (48:13):
But acknowledge.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
And we don't judge acknowledge that I do
acknowledge that, since welisten and we don't judge we
listen, we listen and we don'tjudge sometimes all the time,
most of the time.
Speaker 2 (48:35):
so all the time when I'm in the bathroom, I'm always
typically the one that used thelast of the toilet paper and I
would leave just a little bit oftoilet paper on the road, just
so I don't have to change it.
I knew you was doing it.
We listen and we don't have tochange it.
I knew you was doing that.
(48:56):
We listen and we don't judge.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
I knew you was doing that, though.
I'm like who leaves faux plieson the road.
You can see the brown.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
We listen, you leave the brown, we listen, we listen
and we don't judge.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (49:27):
I'm gonna trip you.
You know in high school whenthey trip the back of your leg,
you hungry that means you hungryif you collapse.
Speaker 2 (49:39):
I think a lot of people get so honed in with the
fairy tale of relationships andthose good moments when you
first meet someone, it gets soacclimated to it that when the
tough part comes in, when youguys are merging personalities
and you're merging beliefs andyou're merging, you know ideas
(50:04):
between each other, you knowideas between each other.
Things that were once separatedcoming together can cause
conflict and a lot of people runfrom that stage.
Um, one thing that I I did wehaven't done it yet, but when we
got to that stage I felt it,and I to you we should get a
(50:25):
therapist.
A lot of people see therapy asa sense of OK, something's wrong
, let's try to get a mediator tofix it, and that could be
useful when things go wrong.
But why not get it when youknow that there's a challenge up
ahead and these people arebasically licensed to deal with
(50:50):
those said challenges?
It's hard, coming from twodifferent households, two
different lifestyles and mergingthem as one.
I mean you being late botheredme, me being messy bothers you.
You know what I'm saying andbeing able to deal with that
(51:11):
some people can't handle that.
You know what I mean.
So when you get to the pointwhen your infatuation, or what
they call the honeymoon phase,is coming to an end and you
start experiencing thesechallenges, this is when the
(51:37):
other podcast that we had we hadabout communication, about
infidelity, all of these thingsthis is when it comes into play,
because your mind would get tothe point where it's just like
something isn't right becauseit's not clicking.
It's just like something isn'tright because it's not clicking.
You're trying to force me intoyour world and not even thinking
about the world that I'vealready created for myself, or
I'm trying to force you into myworld, not even thinking about
(51:58):
that.
You created a world foryourself.
It's no longer you and me.
We're a team 's, a us and usbeing new.
We have to find that new umcombination of your beliefs and
my beliefs becoming our belief.
(52:19):
What do we believe in?
What do we want for ourrelationship?
How do we communicate?
And it's no longer a you and I.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
Going back on to what , why we jail, why we fail, why
I fail, for you is a part of allof the boxes being checked.
I guess I have to go along withthat theme.
It's like for me, my family isan important part of you being
accepting of that, and what wasmy family is an important part
of you being accepting of that.
And what was what worked was isbecause you got two sides of
(52:52):
your family but to you it feelssmall because you only interact
with a small subset of thisfamily and you want to latch on
to something that's big andloving.
And I have this and I had toget back.
I had to kind of like separatemyself for that, for a toxic
relationship, to satisfysomebody who were insecure
(53:14):
within themselves, who wastrying to keep me away from them
and my only thing to keep thepeace is okay, I can't hang out
with my cousins is like my bestfriends.
Yeah, they're my first best.
Honestly, they were and are.
They were my best friends andstill are.
I see that and you see it, andanybody on the outside looking
(53:35):
in, they see the videos orwhatever we post on social.
You know, sometimes you seethings on social and it's, it's
the hype of social like you canbe in a party no, y'all like
that for real, y'all look at youcould be at a party and be like
.
I was at that party, but itwasn't that lit yeah, no, no
it's that lit for real.
It's too lit to.
Speaker 2 (53:57):
Sometimes you got to take a break from it yeah, I
fall asleep like they'll stillbe partying, and I'm finding
somebody's couch, somebody'ssomething to lay down and go to
sleep.
Speaker 1 (54:08):
And that's facts.
So to be able to come into that, like I said, I threw you on
the deep end of the pool and yousurvived that and treaded water
in the ocean I'm talking about.
It's literally like what you'vemet over a hundred different
people and each event.
Sometimes events are biggerthan others, but that's the
(54:32):
environment that you thrive in.
It's like you having funsinging, dancing, talking
bullshit and talking, drinking,like whatever that.
That environment, oh my god, weare in.
Speaker 2 (54:45):
Oh my God, what the hell.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
And you thrive in it and the feedback that I get I
wasn't supposed to tell you this, but I'm pretty sure you feel
it it's like what kind of family, like my uncle told me what
kind of family that you can walkinto and she can come in and
have and just fit in, like asshe's been here for years with
us.
(55:06):
I even have friends that's likeI love your new girlfriend, like
they haven't even met you yetbut they love you, they love
your personality, how we putthese videos out, how we being
so vulnerable, how I'm backbecause they love me, they see
that I'm happy again.
Um, just being accepting of alot of things that for me, like
(55:29):
I sometimes I'm still looking atyou like the little, the little
I'm gonna put it on the screenthe little African boy that'd be
looking in disbelief like forreal yeah um, so it's like all
those things that I don't havethe certain anxieties that I had
in the past because I had todeal with so many layers of
(55:51):
insecurities, whereas this islike, okay, it's letting my hair
down.
The things I got to deal with isnot that bad and the stuff that
you challenged me with, like,let's go back on it.
We talked about my role rage.
We talked about it If we aireda private video.
We was over here bullshittingabout with Donisha.
Speaker 2 (56:09):
We might, we might or edit some snippets of it.
Speaker 1 (56:14):
But my role race is stemming from something deeper.
We talked about it from angerissues.
It's like what you're lookingat and I got that Like you're
looking out for us.
I got that like you looking outfor us.
Fuck with them.
People on the road talkingabout fuck what a nigga made,
(56:35):
even if he make me look like apussy.
It's like okay, but I'll be apussy the next day and the day
and the weeks and the yearsafter that and I'm too stuck on
looking like a pussy at thatmoment.
Fuck that nigga.
I don't like.
So I'm still working.
That's a work in progress andI'm working on it, but it's like
(56:57):
you challenging me to be betterat that.
Speaker 2 (57:01):
Yeah, I think going back to the infatuation ending
phase, the honeymoon endingphase and getting into the this
could be love and people runningaway from that, a lot of all of
your relationships that youhave with someone are meant to
(57:24):
bring parts out of you and showthe parts out of you that needs
healing.
It's meant to do that, likewhen you have a connection and a
bond with somebody.
Sometimes it's not going to bea forever bond, sometimes it is.
God, send people in your lifeto show you hey, buddy, you need
(57:45):
to work on this, just like you.
When it came down to my tone andme arguing and the way I get
loud and I always say I'mpassionate, I'm passionate I
calmed that down tremendously.
Yeah, because I'm like thisisn't passion, it's something
(58:05):
deeper than that that I need tofigure out, and I did.
I figured out where it camefrom and I told you like I felt
like nobody ever hears me.
I have middle child syndromeand I felt unseen.
I felt like my opinions didn'tmatter, didn't matter, my, my
(58:29):
advice didn't matter to peopleand it caused me to yell and
scream because I felt overtaughtall the time.
And then I saw how it made youfeel and I'm like I got to
change this.
This is something I have tochange about me.
We bring out.
It's like having a mirror, likeyou being a mirror for me, me
(58:50):
being a mirror for you, andsaying these are the ugly parts
of you, but it's okay that youhave these ugly parts, just as
long as you realize that they'rethere and you're willing to
work on them to become somethingmore beautiful.
I absolutely love you.
(59:13):
I love you too, like I do, andyou told everybody that I was
emotional and, yes, I'm cryingagain With you touching on the
subject of family, you know Idon't have a deep connection
with my family.
Like it's me and my sister.
(59:33):
You know what I'm saying.
Like that's my ride or die.
That's my ride or die, and it's.
My mom has nine kids and it'slike the closest person to me is
my youngest sibling and it'sbecause we understand each other
on a spiritual level and anemotional level and even when we
(59:58):
have disagreements, it's notcombative disagreements, it's
like, well, you know, to eachhis own.
You know what I mean, but westill accept advice from each
other.
And coming into your family andseeing how loving and caring
(01:00:18):
and big you know what I meanEverybody is and how they have
fun Like my family, have funtogether but eventually that fun
dissipate because what happensis somebody gets drunk and then
there's arguing and somebodywants to fight.
By that time I'm out the doorbecause I am the bougie one.
I will be like look, the gettercame out, it's time for me to
(01:00:42):
fly, but with your family at allthe events we've been to, it
has never been like that.
It's just fun the entire nightand it's like they show me love,
they show me that like I cameauthentically being me.
(01:01:04):
I didn't put on the front I say, oh, I can, oh, I can't do this
, I can't do that, or, you know,I got to be presentable for his
mom.
You know what I'm saying Like Ididn't overthink it.
I always want to show upauthentically as me, even when
we met for the first time andyou said something.
You want the truth or you wantthe.
Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
And I said I always want the truth.
Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
No, you want the lie no matter how it makes me feel,
no matter if it's gonna hurt.
I always want the truth.
So, me wanting the truth, Iwant to give you the truth.
So I'm going to show up asmyself, no matter what situation
I'm in, and if nobody acceptsme, it means that I'm not meant
(01:01:44):
to be there, and that was mymindset, going into it with your
family.
Just be you, chrissy and I knowit's cliche and people give
everybody that advice beyourself, be yourself.
It's so true.
In order to be intentional, inorder to be intentional, in
order to grow as an individual,you have to show up
(01:02:07):
authentically as you.
It's not to say that you don'tneed change.
It's not to say there aren'tthings that you don't need to
work on, because I think a lotof people do that.
Well, I'm good, I'm me, I'm woo, woo, woo, and they stay the
toxic version of themselves.
When you get into certainrelationships like friendships,
(01:02:28):
family ships, romanticrelationships show up as you and
nine times out of 10, thatperson is going to say, hey,
that's ugly on you, but you'resuch a beautiful person and you
should probably work on thatwithin yourself.
And don't take it offensively,because nine times out of 10,
(01:02:49):
god presented that person to youto show you that you do have a
better version of yourself,because we all do.
There is the strongest side ofus.
Our spirit wants to thrive andwe don't allow it because we
drown it with alcohol, we drownit with um, past relationship
(01:03:11):
drama.
All that toxicity weighs itdown.
And God keep bringing people inour life to say, even if it
don't come off pretty to you,he'll bring somebody in your
life and say, hey, that thatright there that you got going
on, that's not what I createdyou for, that's not within your
(01:03:32):
purpose.
Fix that.
And if you don't take itpersonal and you take everything
as a learning lesson, you willthrive.
You will definitely thrive.
And I think that's what goesthrough my head when we have
conflict, like I'm going tolisten to you because you could
possibly be telling me something, because I can't see me on the
(01:03:53):
outside looking in.
You can't see you on theoutside looking in.
So when I say things, even whenwe have our disagreements, I
always tell you I am not yourenemy because I'm not.
Tell you I am not your enemybecause I'm not.
I'm only here for your growth.
I'm only here so we can growtogether.
So anything that I tell you isbecause I'm seeing something in
(01:04:16):
you that you might not be ableto see for yourself, and I want
you to take that as okay.
My baby is looking at me withlens that I can't have for
myself right now, and how can wework through this?
How can we fix this?
And sometimes I have to take asecond and do the same thing
(01:04:38):
with you, because sometimes Iget a little insecure, because I
just want to be so perfect,right, I want to be like this
perfect girl for you, but theperfect person don't really
exist.
You know what I mean.
Like, I'm sorry, I just when Iget to talking, I get to talking
(01:04:58):
baby well, we got to wrap thisup, so this has been another
episode of.
Pure Intentions 314.
We have to start adding that,the 314 part.
Speaker 1 (01:05:14):
Okay, yeah, I always add it PureIntentions314.com.
Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
Catch us next Wednesday and every Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
And Merry fucking Christmas to you guys.
Speaker 1 (01:05:30):
It's Christmas and then New Year's we gonna turn up
2025 period see y'all next week.
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