December 3, 2024 • 43 mins
In this episode of Purpose Project, host Leslie Pagel interviews Emily Mellentine, a recent college graduate and author who shares her deeply moving journey of battling depression and using writing as a therapeutic tool. Emily discusses how she found her life's purpose in helping others heal through writing and creating a supportive community. She delves into her personal story of dealing with anxiety, and other mental health challenges from a young age, and how writing became her lifeline. Emily talks about her women’s social and writing group, 'Writings from Her Corner,' which aims to build community and create opportunities for dedicated writing time. The episode highlights the importance of getting out of one's own head, shifting negative mindsets, and the power of human connection and vulnerability in discovering one's purpose.
00:00 Introduction to Purpose Project
00:45 Meet Emily Mellentine
01:47 Emily's Journey with Writing and Healing
02:53 The Power of Writing in Mental Health
10:32 Emily's Writing Group: Building Community
16:32 Reflections on Purpose and Passion
22:50 Facing Anxiety and Embracing Vulnerability
24:58 Manifesting Dreams into Reality
27:27 Overcoming Fear and Taking Action
30:26 Building a Writing Community
35:44 Navigating Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome
38:25 Advice for Finding and Creating Purpose
42:01 Final Reflections and Gratitude
Website: Writingsfromhercorner.org
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/writingsfromhercorner.co/
Purpose Project is a research study on the topic of life's purpose. You can follow along in the making of Purpose Project:
Instagram: @purpose.project
LinkedIn: @purposeproject-media
TikTok: @purpose.project
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Leslie (00:04):
Welcome to purpose project.
My name is Leslie Pagel, and Iam so glad that you are here
today.
We have a powerful and a deeplymoving story to share with you
on today's episode, I sit downwith Emily Mellentine, Emily
opens up about her battle withdepression and how she has used
writing as a way to heal.
(00:27):
And to discover her life'spurpose.
She reminds us that sometimesthe path to purpose begins when
we step out of our own heads andallow ourselves to simply feel
and create.
Let's dive into Emily'sinspiring story.
Emily, thank you for being onPurpose Project.
(00:48):
I am really looking forward toour conversation.
Emily (00:51):
I am too.
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm excited.
Leslie (00:54):
Absolutely.
Before we dive into the topic oflife's purpose, tell us a little
bit about you.
Who is Emily?
Emily (01:02):
Yeah.
So I am Emily Mellentine.
I am a recent graduate.
I'm graduating in, um, nextmonth from Indiana University,
Indianapolis with my major incommunication studies and a
certificate in public relationsand minor in women's gender and
sexuality studies.
Nice.
And I'm an author.
(01:23):
I have two self published booksand I'm host of Writings from
Her Corner, which is a women'ssocial and writing group that is
dedicated to Building communityand creating the opportunity for
dedicated writing time and thespace for people to be able to
share their writings and bondand connect
Leslie (01:45):
over
Emily (01:45):
that.
Leslie (01:46):
Nice.
So, tell us, do you have alife's purpose?
Emily (01:52):
I do have a life's purpose, yes.
My purpose is to heal and tohelp other people heal in any
way that I can and for me,that's through writing.
Leslie (02:01):
Okay, okay.
Yeah,
Emily (02:03):
so, sorry.
No, go ahead, yeah.
So I don't feel like I have asingular purpose.
I think, you know.
Purpose can be ever changing,and we can have many different
purposes.
And mine isn't exactly just towrite.
It's the healing with thewriting and the building
community around it.
(02:24):
You know, using that as a commoninterest.
Leslie (02:28):
Yeah.
To
Emily (02:28):
build upon.
Leslie (02:29):
Yeah.
So, your purpose is to heal, isto help people heal.
And you're using your passion ofwriting and community as the
facilitator of that.
Yeah.
Yes, that's beautiful.
How did you come upon this asyour purpose?
Was there a defining moment inyour life
Emily (02:52):
Yeah, definitely.
So, I've had a lot of momentswhere writing has saved my life,
I feel like.
It started at a pretty youngage.
I started dealing with majordepression and anxiety, eating
disorder and suicidal ideationfrom when I was about in 5th
(03:12):
grade.
And I started getting treated in7th grade.
And I started going to therapyand my therapist recommended it.
Specifically for like the panicattacks I was having to start
writing as a coping skill and tosee how that worked.
(03:33):
And it worked really well forme.
You know, it really grounds you.
Gets you out of your head.
And the hand movement, it just,it brings you back into reality.
And also, writing down yourthoughts, seeing them visually.
can really help you process themmore.
(03:54):
Cause you know, sometimes whenyou have everything swirling
around in your head, you believeeverything and stuff.
So when you see it like in frontof you, you're like, Oh, that's
not true or whatever.
It's easier to work through andprocess.
So it started out that way and Ialso just had really bad self
esteem.
I just really hated myself, likehow I looked, who I was and.
(04:20):
In eighth grade, I just realizedI had to change that.
It felt kind of like life ordeath, you know?
So, I started using writing as away to love myself more.
And so I started just with likea lot of affirmations.
(04:41):
I would do that every day, justwriting, you know, I'm beautiful
and qualities about myself thatI liked.
And, at first, like, I didn'treally believe all that stuff I
was writing.
But, with consistency, as you doit, I started to believe it.
And I started to be able toexpand upon that.
And, the mental health journeyhas continued.
(05:07):
You know, it's a lot of ups anddowns.
I still have major depressivedisorder.
And, I was recently justdiagnosed with ADHD.
and a couple years ago with, um,borderline personality disorder.
And some of it's definitelygenetic, like some of it runs
through my family.
Um, but, yeah, it's never reallygone away, especially the
(05:34):
depression part.
And writing, I like to say likeI turn my pain into poetry.
Like, being able to express allthe terrible things you're
feeling and thinking.
in a way that like makes youfeel kind of proud.
(05:55):
Is a really nice feeling.
And then being able to sharethat with other people and have
other people respond to that andthen open up themselves about
relating to stuff like that hasbeen life
Leslie (06:11):
changing.
I feel like, yeah, yeah.
Thank you for sharing all ofthat.
It sounds like your purpose, orat least writing, is helping you
cope, with, some of the mentalhealth challenges that you have
(06:32):
and your purpose is thenbringing that through and
helping other people healthrough that.
When you, you talked about goingto a therapist and the advice of
writing as a way of helping youheal or helping you process,
were you already a writer?
Is that something that youalready had joy in or did you
(06:57):
discover that through thetherapist?
Emily (07:01):
I had, I, I know that I was a writer in a sense of, at
school, I was, I would alwaysget an A on, like, essays and
stuff like that.
It just came naturally.
Leslie (07:13):
I,
Emily (07:15):
before that, I didn't really do much with it, but as
soon as that started, it didn'tend.
It just kept going, and itbecame such an important part in
my life, especially, I felt.
I feel very disconnected frompeople and I feel like I didn't
have a very strong supportsystem.
(07:36):
And especially when you'redealing with depression and
other mental struggles, it canbe very isolating.
And I use writing, I guess, as away to not feel so alone.
You know, it helped me feel lesslonely, even if I wasn't sharing
(07:57):
it with other people.
I think it does take you, like,deeper into, personal
reflection.
So, when you're writing,whatever you're writing about,
whether that's just basicjournaling, or you are trying to
write some kind of poetry, oressays, or whatever, You're
reflecting, so you're seeingthings in a different
(08:17):
perspective, I feel like.
Because you have to reallythink, how do I want this to
come across?
Right.
Or it just comes naturally, andit just helps you gain new
perspective, I feel like.
Yeah,
Leslie (08:30):
do you have something that you could read to us?
Emily (08:33):
Yes, I do.
So, this is my second.
Her Sweet Bitter Truths.
And it's funny, the last poem isactually called Purpose.
Love it.
It is.
It goes, I will craft a hundredpoems about grey skies, the
(08:55):
brightness of the moon, and howthe wind sways through the
trees.
I will type pages upon pagesabout glances stolen,
beginnings, endings, and all thethings I wish you'd say to me.
I will choose my words carefullyas black ink pours.
Stories, memories, make believe,and all the things I hope will
come to be.
For my pen is my power, my will,my fate.
(09:18):
I'll burn my being onto paperand watch as a pile of self
titled books rise.
For in this lifetime, I write tosurvive.
Leslie (09:29):
That is beautiful.
Emily (09:30):
Thank you.
And I truly do feel that waybecause, When I am struggling,
and you know, if I'm in themiddle of a breakdown or
something, or if I'm just, youknow, down bad, writing is just
something that's always there.
It's always available.
Right.
You can always go to it.
Right.
And, it just makes me feelbetter.
(09:54):
Yeah.
Even if it's not perfect.
And, really want people to know,especially people who come to my
group and everything, to be awriter is to write.
And it doesn't have to beperfect, it doesn't have to be
good or, in my opinion, like,grammatically correct or
(10:15):
whatever.
Like, writing is just writing.
It's an expression.
And whether you're justjournaling or making lists,
like, I'm such a list person.
It can all be so impactful anduseful.
Leslie (10:30):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tell us a little bit more aboutyour group.
Emily (10:34):
Yeah.
So, I started it about a yearago.
October of last year.
My friend, Anika, she came to meand she pitched the idea.
She was like, you should have,you should do this.
You should make this group.
And I already had the namepicked out.
Writing is From Her Corner.
(10:56):
I always like wanted to dosomething with it, but I didn't
know what and she just told meshe's like just Find a cafe like
go do go find somewhere andinvite people and like see who
comes like I'm sure some peoplewill come and you know and it
was really scary at first I Evenfor the first like I've done 15
(11:18):
sessions And I feel like I'mjust now getting confident with
it, but before the sessions,like, I'll get so nervous.
And then once the session startsand we're in the middle of it,
everything just calms down.
And by the end of the session, Ijust feel so full and full of
(11:43):
light.
It's just very, it's verymagical, especially now that
I've had more sessions.
So the same people are showingup.
And we love new people as well,but.
So for the first, it's usuallyan hour and a half.
Okay.
So for the, it's kind of splitinto like three parts.
So the first part is justmingling, just talking, getting
(12:05):
to know each other.
And sometimes if that's like alittle slow, like, I have social
anxiety.
kind of bad.
And I realized like other peopleprobably do as well.
So I try to like be veryaccommodating during my session.
So I always have like questionsready to go and everything.
(12:26):
So I'll like post questions andwe just kind of get to know each
other through that.
And then, and it's a great wayto make friends.
Like I have made a couple of mybest friends through these
groups and it can be really hardas a new adult to Make friends,
you know, especially if you'renot in school, or you just have
(12:47):
a hard time.
Right.
So yeah, we'll all mingle andthen we'll go into independent
reading or writing time.
Okay.
So people can Spread out, andit'll usually be about 30 40
minutes where we're justindependently writing or
reading.
Before we do independent readingor writing, I'll pose a prompt.
(13:08):
So if people want to do theprompt, they can.
If not, they don't have to.
And then at the very end of thesession, we have time that we
can share.
So if that's the prompt, oranything else, Someone's been
working on.
Yeah, we have that sharing timeand That's my favorite time I
(13:29):
bet yeah, and It's so funny,it's not funny, but so many
times So many people who shareThey'll start out with saying
I'm not a writer, or, oh, I justfinished this, like, this is
just a draft.
Like, they'll diminishthemselves in their writing
before they even read it at all.
(13:51):
And then they'll proceed to readthe most, like, beautiful or
profound piece, and emotional.
And then so many people canconnect with what they're
saying.
I feel like very often.
We feel like we're alone in thethings that we experience and
feel.
And for a while, I felt that waytoo.
(14:13):
Just writing in my notebook.
And then as you start sharingand opening up, you get people
saying, I've been through that,or I am going through that.
Leslie (14:23):
I can react to what you just said there because part of
your purpose is community andthat connection of I've been
there or that is helping tocreate community as well.
Emily (14:39):
It really is.
And it's very nice to have.
A community.
Not everyone has one.
And for the longest time, Ididn't.
And I didn't know how to findone.
Leslie (14:51):
Yeah.
Emily (14:51):
So I guess I just created one.
Leslie (14:53):
Yes, you did.
Yeah.
Emily (14:55):
And it just makes my heart happy.
You know, like our last sessionwas right after election
results.
And it was a heavy session.
And it took, I, I could tell ittook a lot for people to come
and to be there.
(15:17):
It, the energy was just veryheavy and I started out just
asking everyone, How are wedoing?
And what's one way you're takingcare of yourself?
Or a new way you want to starttaking care of yourself?
And then I posed a prompt justright about, Your experience,
(15:37):
how you're feeling abouteverything going on.
And then we all wrote and we allshared and you could just feel
the energy and feelings shift.
Like you come in feeling howeveryou're feeling depressed, angry,
scared, and then we all sharehow we feel and we all have such
(15:58):
different perspectives, but alsosimilar ideas and feelings.
And it just makes you feel notalone, like, you feel supported
and that you have people thatare standing with you and that
believe in you and
Leslie (16:16):
support.
Emily (16:16):
And it's just very beautiful to have that, to be
able to keep coming back to.
Right.
Leslie (16:22):
Right.
Which is the healing piece too,yeah.
Um, so, a couple, Observations.
So Purpose Project is a researchstudy on the topic of life's
purpose.
And one of the things that hasbecome crystal clear to me is,
(16:44):
and it's kind of obvious whenyou say it out loud, but it, but
I had to discover it for it tobecome obvious, is that to find
our purpose, we have to goinward.
We have to.
Quiet our minds.
We've got to really take a lookat ourselves in the mirror and
(17:05):
face the good, the bad, theugly, the beautiful, you know,
all the things, the fears.
And your story, speaks to thatas well in terms of using
writing as a way of reallyexploring your thoughts, your
feelings.
And.
(17:25):
Helping you heal as well withaffirmations.
Emily (17:28):
Yeah.
So I actually struggled withpurpose for a really long time,
especially with all the suicidalideation.
You know, that was a big thing.
Why am I here?
What do I have to live forbesides obviously family and all
that good stuff?
(17:50):
I struggled, struggled with thatfor a while.
Because I feel like societydoesn't do an amazing job of
wanting people to find theirpurpose and follow it.
And I say that because once youstart figuring out what I want
(18:10):
to do for a career, some of theoptions can just be kind of
limited.
And I, I felt Like that for awhile, I was very scared to
start my career and not have italigned with my purpose and my
passions.
(18:30):
But, it takes a lot to followyour passion.
I feel like, like you have to,It's hard to even kind of
discover.
And, like I said earlier,purposes can be ever changing.
And, I think the basic line ofpurpose is to be.
To be as happy as you can be.
(18:53):
What's going to get you there,and then just aligning yourself
to that goal.
With the right things thatyou're doing and surrounding
yourself with the right people.
Leslie (19:02):
Yeah.
Yeah That is that's anotherConclusion that I'm coming to
for now is that a lot of timespeople think about purpose as
this achievement this goal thisMission this thing and they
think in big grand terms likepurpose of my life but what I'm
(19:26):
hearing from you and from othersis that it is really more of a,
a way of being.
Yeah.
It's when our self is inalignment with our actions.
How we are is aligned with whatwe're doing and it's hard
because of the societalpressures or the societal norms
(19:51):
or conditioning, whatever youwant to call it.
But the things that externalputs on us as this is how you
should live your life Or theseare the thing the careers you
should pursue.
Emily (20:03):
Yeah, and so much of that gets like trapped in your own
head and then You're not likereally listening to that, but
you're telling yourself thatright and that's what I was
doing for a while, too I was sodepressed because I felt like I
knew what I wanted to do.
I wanted to be, have a group ofwomen, like, you know, create
(20:23):
something like that and havethat be my career.
And I just felt like, I can't dothat.
I don't know how to do that.
And it was depressing.
Until I got over that fear andrealized I could do that.
That's entirely possible.
(20:44):
It's just a changing yourperspective, which is hard.
Leslie (20:48):
Yeah, it is.
Emily (20:49):
It is really hard and it takes a lot and sometimes it
takes going through a lot ofthings that don't align with you
to figure, figure out what makesyour
Leslie (21:03):
soul light up.
Right, and sometimes we get justcaught up in the motions of.
The shoulds like this is what Ishould do.
I should go to college.
I should graduate with thesedegrees.
I should get this job.
I should get married.
And, and we're so caught up inthat, that we don't look outside
(21:23):
of it and say, hold on, is thiswhat lights me up?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Emily (21:30):
That was like always just one of my biggest fears.
I'm not going to be doing whatI'm passionate about.
Or I'm not going to be alignedwith my purpose.
I was always so scared of that,so, I tried to go into like, non
profit work.
I've worked with Girls Inc., andIndiana Humanities, and Visit
Indy, which are all very greatorganizations that help build
(21:53):
community, and enrich people'slives.
It's just not a topic that a lotof people talk about regularly.
No one's really having thatconversation a lot, you know.
All the external just kind ofrules your life sometimes.
Yeah.
It takes a lot to break out ofthat.
(22:15):
And, I mean, for me, also, Iwill get caught back up in it.
And I'll lose sight of thethings that are important to me.
That happens a lot.
It's just a matter of gettingback into it and becoming more
focused.
Yeah.
Leslie (22:33):
I see so much courage in you.
And, I think fear keeps peoplefrom pursuing their purpose.
Oh, yeah.
And I see you.
I'm imagining you scared, butdoing it anyway.
Emily (22:54):
Oh yeah,
Leslie (22:54):
I mean that's what's happening
Emily (22:55):
right now.
And like, before every session,even my last session, I was
talking to one of my friendsafterwards and I was like, Ugh,
I just get so much anxietybefore each session and I'm like
kind of Winging it a little bit.
I do a lot of planning, butsometimes I wing stuff and I
feel awkward.
(23:15):
And I even say, I'm like, sorryguys, I'm so socially awkward
and all this stuff, I'm soanxious.
And then she's like, are youkidding me?
I thought that was all, like,amazing, like, and it just,
like, just like, get out of yourown head.
You know, and it's so hard todo.
It's really easy to, whoo.
(23:38):
Think the way you always think.
And for me, I've always been amore negative thinker.
And it just doesn't take youanywhere.
It just keeps you in the sameplaces, the same sad,
frustrating, boring places.
And flipping to that positivemindset, just believing, not
(24:02):
even positive, not the falsepositivity and stuff, but Truly
believing that things can workout for you and trusting, I
really do believe in trustingthe universe and what wavelength
are you on?
Where do you want to be?
How do you get there?
And believing, trusting that youcan get there.
(24:24):
You can do that yourself andwith other people.
Leslie (24:27):
Um, what I hear from you is this real intention around
shifting your thinking and anawareness of, I tend to think
more negative, that's notserving me, so I'm going to
shift that and I'm going to putmy trust in this universe that
(24:49):
we're all a part of, that as Ishift.
My thoughts that my outcomes aregonna change as a result.
Emily (24:58):
Yeah, and I believe in manifesting too.
And I also believe, just in thebasic logic of it, if you say
something's gonna happen, andyou make yourself believe it's
gonna happen, you'resubconsciously gonna take the
actions to get to that place.
It's just a matter of, Figuringout what do I want?
(25:20):
What do I want to manifest?
What do I want my life to looklike for the people around me?
It is being intentional.
Leslie (25:28):
Right.
Which, I just got goosebumpshere because earlier you said,
Your girlfriend came to you andsaid we need to do this thing,
or you need to do this thing.
And you already had a name.
It's as if you manifested that.
(25:48):
I did because
Emily (25:50):
in high school, I was such like an existentialist.
Like, I feel like high schoolwas just one big existential
crisis for me.
Because of purpose and like, youknow, I'm going into college
soon.
I have to figure out my career.
It was just all so scary and Ifelt, I knew what I wanted to
(26:12):
do.
I was like, if I could doanything, I see myself leading a
group of women Something withmental health, but I don't
really want to become atherapist or, you know, that
kind of stuff.
Like, I saw it in my head, andthen I just dismissed it.
(26:32):
I was like, maybe that canhappen one day, but
realistically, I'm gonna have togo different ways.
Leslie (26:40):
Yeah.
Emily (26:40):
And so, to be here now, Is really special.
I mean, it's not my career.
I am trying to turn it intothat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I recently like got my llc Andi'm starting to Plan workshops
out.
I'm doing my first collaborationwith a non profit centers of
wellness for urban women I'mdoing a writing workshop with
(27:03):
them.
I love that.
Yeah, and i'm like getting paidfor it, which is amazing Yes So
I would love for that to be myfull time You Bang and like I
can manifest that and like oneday it can happen But it's it's
really crazy to think about howin high school.
I imagined that and then justpushed it down
Leslie (27:24):
Yeah, and then it came to you.
Yeah.
Yeah,
Emily (27:27):
and yeah, I just feel like it is a matter of Getting
out of your own head Doing iteven if you are scared.
Yeah, well if you're and youdon't believe in yourself, I
feel like believe in yourself isMost of the battle,
Leslie (27:41):
okay You
Emily (27:42):
I do.
Leslie (27:43):
So how did you take us through the first group that you
hosted?
Cause that was probably, I amimagining the biggest fear that
you faced maybe.
I was very nervous.
Yes.
Um, but, but even sending theinvite or however you got people
there, what was it?
(28:04):
Walk us through what you werethinking and how you pushed
through it.
Emily (28:08):
I remember I was So anxious, so scared.
Even to address the group ofpeople there.
Um, but we did it in my friend'scafe.
Gaia Cafe in Botanical.
And It was a good crowd.
It was like 15 ish people
Leslie (28:29):
that showed up.
So how did you get them there?
Cause did the fear happen beforetoo?
Oh yeah, I mean it's always
Emily (28:37):
happening.
Like it doesn't go away and it'snot gonna go away.
It's just a matter of if you'regonna let it affect you or
derail you or not.
Leslie (28:46):
Well and the reason why I want to go before is once you
say you're doing it, you'redoing it.
It's kind of, not easier, butyou have to do it, right?
Yeah.
So it's the commitment to do it,which in my mind is when you
send the invite out.
I posted
Emily (29:06):
about it.
I always just post on myInstagram about it.
And yeah, at that point I hadlike, I can't remember if I just
published, I don't know, I justpublished one.
So I was always kind of, kind ofestablishing myself as.
Like a writer, so I hadnaturally people who followed me
who were also writers and, youknow.
(29:27):
So I just posted on Instagramand on Eventbrite.
I do that with everything.
And just asking people to shareit on their stories as well, and
invite people, invite friends toit.
And it's so amazing, like,people who showed up at that
first one, like, still come, andthat makes me so happy.
I bet.
(29:47):
And just gaining new peoplealong the way.
But I remember being so scaredand walking in and even as I was
like thanking everyone forcoming and explaining what we
were going to do and stuff, myvoice was so quiet and it was
very, very shaky, but I did it,but I said it, like, you know,
(30:10):
speak even if your voice shakesand that continued like
happening, like I would stillhave anxiety and be scared To
talk until until I wasn't yeah,it's doing it until
Leslie (30:24):
You got it.
That's right.
Yeah How can Those that arelistening learn more about can
on Instagram or the group wherecan they go?
Emily (30:36):
Yeah, so I actually just started a separate page on Now
that writings from her corner isbecoming more of a business like
for the community So that pageis writingsfromhercorner.org.
Leslie (30:50):
Okay,
Emily (30:51):
my Instagram is just Writings From Her Corner
Leslie (30:54):
Okay, I will put that on the in the show notes for those
listening as well.
Emily (31:00):
Yeah, and I'm always posting about My upcoming dates
One big way that I actually gotinto the literary community is
working with Indiana HumanitiesReally?
Yeah, I they host the IndianaAuthors Awards So as an intern a
lot of my job was I wasinterviewing authors and going
(31:20):
to different bookstores and thatyear, last year, like three new
bookstores popped up and itseemed like the community was
really starting to thrive and Ijust was like, Oh my God, this
is such a beautiful community.
Things are happening and like noone really knows about it.
(31:42):
Like how do you get people toknow about things?
I don't know.
It's hard.
Yeah, I know.
I was just going back to, youknow, Your purpose, like, it's
not just selling books orwhatever.
Like, I just find like the morehuman you are with things and
the more real you are withthings, the better, you know,
(32:06):
just the authenticity ofeverything.
You know, you just
Leslie (32:11):
attract what you put out, I feel like.
I agree.
Emily (32:14):
I feel like a lot of it's just listening to your
intuition.
Yeah.
And there's so much noise thatcan drown that out.
Leslie (32:24):
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, looking forward, are thereother things that you see in
your future?
Emily (32:33):
Yeah, I would love to do this in more communities.
I'm just doing this in downtownIndianapolis.
I would like to do it in otherplaces in Indiana and maybe
outside of Indiana.
And I would like to developworkshops and be able to partner
with organizations, especiallynonprofits.
(32:57):
Nonprofits just have such aspecial place in my heart.
And that's, yeah, I would justlove to do that and I would love
to obviously keep writing andkeep publishing, self
publishing, and helping otherpeople do that too.
Leslie (33:14):
Okay.
Yeah, I
Emily (33:16):
want to be, I want to see the people that come to my
group.
Do stuff with their writing andthey are, it's so nice.
They'll come in and like, wealways check in like, have you
been writing recently and stuff?
And a lot of times it's like,no, but, and then they leave and
then they come back and they'relike, I have been now.
(33:36):
Cause like, I was inspired.
Right.
You know, it's just puttingyourself in those kind of
positions.
It's just, it's veryheartwarming.
I just love the connections and,That's where I want to see
myself keep going, just keep onbuilding the community and
welcoming more people in.
Leslie (33:56):
Yeah.
Emily (33:57):
Yeah, that's the important part for me, I feel
like.
Leslie (34:00):
Yes, yeah.
So you've shared your purpose ofhelping people heal through
community and writing, and howyou've discovered it and all of
that.
I've, I've sensed as you'vetalked about your purpose, um,
some of the feelings that mightcome with it, but how does it
(34:23):
make you feel?
Emily (34:24):
Warm.
And like, magical.
I always leave the sessionsfeeling like I can't explain
what happens.
It just kind of feels likemagic, in a way.
And honestly, I feel like somuch of that is just magical.
Having a space where people canbe vulnerable.
(34:45):
It's hard to do.
Leslie (34:46):
Yeah.
Emily (34:46):
Even like one on one with people or whatever.
Even being vulnerable yourselfand with yourself is hard.
So when you have a group ofpeople together who can really
open up and receive support, itjust lifts the energy up.
You're just brought to a higherplace, I feel like.
(35:07):
Yeah.
Yeah, I think there's a lot ofstrength in coming together,
especially with women.
We go through so much of this,so many similar things.
A lot of hard things in comingtogether.
It just, it makes you feel likeyou can handle things.
(35:28):
Yeah.
Versus alone, it's hard to feel.
Like you can handle things whenyou're alone.
Right.
And I felt like I was alone fora lot of my life, most of my
life.
And I don't really feel that wayanymore.
Leslie (35:42):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you've shared a lot of,feelings that are positive.
Mm hmm.
Are, are there any negatives todeal with when you're living in
your purpose?
Mm hmm.
Emily (35:58):
I
Leslie (35:58):
mean, yeah.
Emily (36:00):
You know, imposter syndrome.
It's like, who am I to lead agroup of people?
What credentials do I have?
It's like, well, I have somecredentials, yeah, just feeling
like you're not good enough.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thinking, I don't know, justdoubting yourself.
Leslie (36:22):
Yeah.
Emily (36:24):
Especially when you do something that's different.
Kind of out of the norm.
You know, you're taking a risk.
It can be really scary,especially if it fails.
You know, and like coming onhere for me was a risk as well.
I was like, it can either goreally good or maybe it won't go
(36:46):
good.
And I'll be really sad, but it'sa risk I have to take, right?
Because, yeah, I could go bad,but it could also go really
great.
Yeah.
So just, yeah, just a lot ofself doubt.
The fear.
Leslie (36:59):
The anxiety.
And those things are things inour heads.
They're things in our thoughtsthat we make up, you know?
Emily (37:08):
Yeah.
And then once you, I feel likeonce you start putting things
out there into the universe, youjust start attracting things.
Like, that's actually how myfirst book came to be, because I
was talking out loud about how Iwanted to write a book.
And, you know, like our phoneskind of listen to us.
(37:29):
So, like, I mean, that's likepublic knowledge.
I got, like, an ad for, apoetry, challenge.
And then they, like, 21 daychallenge.
And then they would publish yourbook.
And I was, like, super depressedthat day.
Like, laying in bed, doomscrolling.
And I came across that.
And I was like, oh, I can dothis.
(37:49):
And it just took taking thatstep that leads you to so many.
It's, like, so much of.
Taking the first step and havingthe courage to just keep taking
the steps You know, even if youdon't know where they're gonna
lead
Leslie (38:00):
right?
Yeah.
Yeah get out of your head andinto action.
Yeah.
Yes It's hard And
Emily (38:10):
might go poor but also might go great.
Leslie (38:13):
Yeah, absolutely Yeah, Do it even if you're scared take
the step, one step forward andthen the next.
Yeah.
So what advice do you have forthose that are listening that,
are where you were and justasking those questions about
(38:35):
What am I here to do?
And in all of that, what's youradvice?
Emily (38:39):
Definitely get out of your own head.
You know, we grow up and we havesuch limiting beliefs, not just
about ourselves, but also aboutthe world and about other
people, relationships.
And it takes a lot of healing toget past all those limiting
beliefs and to start.
(39:01):
Believing that there is good outthere, and you can also do good
things.
It's stepping out of yourcomfort zone, and exploring
things you might not like.
It can lead you to things thatyou do like.
Listening to your intuition, Ithink is really important.
(39:25):
And, knowing you're not alone.
You always hear that, you're notalone, even when you feel like
you really are, but like trulyopening up to people, to the
right people, can really make ahuge difference in your life.
Yeah, and it takes a lot ofstrength and courage to do that,
(39:47):
especially when you try openingup and not being alone.
Sometimes if it's not to theright people, You're still gonna
feel alone.
Right.
And it might take going todifferent places and spaces and
events to figure out where youmight find the right people.
(40:09):
Right.
Leslie (40:10):
Well, and you created it.
Emily (40:11):
Yeah.
And if you can't find it, createit.
Yeah.
Leslie (40:14):
Yeah.
Emily (40:16):
Like there's, there is space.
A place for everyone.
I do feel like absolutely foreveryone.
It's just a matter of Finding itor creating it
Leslie (40:27):
Right.
Yeah.
Yes Is there anything leftunsaid on the topic of life's
purpose?
Emily (40:35):
It can feel so so daunting and overwhelming And
even I get wrapped up In it Oh,I'm not making enough money.
My job isn't aligning exactlywith what I want to do.
It's, it's just the mindset.
You just gotta shift.
So many times I spend hoursworrying so much about a
(41:04):
particular event or something.
And then that event will happen,and it went perfectly fine.
It's like that was all fornothing.
Like sometimes you are kind ofcreating your own, right?
You're putting yourself in acage and it's hard to recognize
that and to break out of it.
That's hard.
(41:24):
Yeah.
But you can do hard things.
Life's purpose doesn't have tobe this big, overwhelming,
daunting thing.
And it doesn't have to be oneanswer, that's the answer for
your whole life.
Or something that means so much,you know, it can be something so
small as every day I want tomake someone smile or just feel
(41:50):
content for an hour of my day,you know, it doesn't have to be
something so big.
Leslie (41:56):
Absolutely.
I think that is wise words.
Emily, thank you so much forbeing on Purpose Project.
I am taking so much away fromthis conversation.
Emily (42:09):
So,
Leslie (42:13):
As a mother, I couldn't help but reflect on the weight
that young adults carry as theystep into their independence.
The big questions about life'spurpose can feel overwhelming,
even paralyzing.
Emily's story got me thinking,how can we make life's purpose
(42:33):
feel less heavy and moreaccessible?
How can we frame it as ajourney?
That's fluid.
That's personal.
That's within reach foreveryone, no matter where they
are in life.
Emily, thank you for yourvulnerability and sharing your
story.
And more importantly, thank youfor being a role model to us in
(42:56):
living a life with courage andpurpose.
And to everyone listening, thankyou for tuning in.
Until next time, take care ofyourselves and keep exploring
your life's purpose.
Purpose Project is brought toyou for education and for
(43:20):
entertainment purposes.
This podcast is not intended toreplace the advice that you
would receive from a licensedtherapist or doctor or any other
qualified professional.
Welcome to purpose project.
My name is Leslie Pagel, and Iam so glad that you are here
today.
We have a powerful and a deeplymoving story to share with you
on today's episode, I sit downwith Emily Mellentine, Emily
opens up about her battle withdepression and how she has used
writing as a way to heal.
(00:27):
And to discover her life'spurpose.
She reminds us that sometimesthe path to purpose begins when
we step out of our own heads andallow ourselves to simply feel
and create.
Let's dive into Emily'sinspiring story.
Emily, thank you for being onPurpose Project.
(00:48):
I am really looking forward toour conversation.
Emily (00:51):
I am too.
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm excited.
Leslie (00:54):
Absolutely.
Before we dive into the topic oflife's purpose, tell us a little
bit about you.
Who is Emily?
Emily (01:02):
Yeah.
So I am Emily Mellentine.
I am a recent graduate.
I'm graduating in, um, nextmonth from Indiana University,
Indianapolis with my major incommunication studies and a
certificate in public relationsand minor in women's gender and
sexuality studies.
Nice.
And I'm an author.
(01:23):
I have two self published booksand I'm host of Writings from
Her Corner, which is a women'ssocial and writing group that is
dedicated to Building communityand creating the opportunity for
dedicated writing time and thespace for people to be able to
share their writings and bondand connect
Leslie (01:45):
over
Emily (01:45):
that.
Leslie (01:46):
Nice.
So, tell us, do you have alife's purpose?
Emily (01:52):
I do have a life's purpose, yes.
My purpose is to heal and tohelp other people heal in any
way that I can and for me,that's through writing.
Leslie (02:01):
Okay, okay.
Yeah,
Emily (02:03):
so, sorry.
No, go ahead, yeah.
So I don't feel like I have asingular purpose.
I think, you know.
Purpose can be ever changing,and we can have many different
purposes.
And mine isn't exactly just towrite.
It's the healing with thewriting and the building
community around it.
(02:24):
You know, using that as a commoninterest.
Leslie (02:28):
Yeah.
To
Emily (02:28):
build upon.
Leslie (02:29):
Yeah.
So, your purpose is to heal, isto help people heal.
And you're using your passion ofwriting and community as the
facilitator of that.
Yeah.
Yes, that's beautiful.
How did you come upon this asyour purpose?
Was there a defining moment inyour life
Emily (02:52):
Yeah, definitely.
So, I've had a lot of momentswhere writing has saved my life,
I feel like.
It started at a pretty youngage.
I started dealing with majordepression and anxiety, eating
disorder and suicidal ideationfrom when I was about in 5th
(03:12):
grade.
And I started getting treated in7th grade.
And I started going to therapyand my therapist recommended it.
Specifically for like the panicattacks I was having to start
writing as a coping skill and tosee how that worked.
(03:33):
And it worked really well forme.
You know, it really grounds you.
Gets you out of your head.
And the hand movement, it just,it brings you back into reality.
And also, writing down yourthoughts, seeing them visually.
can really help you process themmore.
(03:54):
Cause you know, sometimes whenyou have everything swirling
around in your head, you believeeverything and stuff.
So when you see it like in frontof you, you're like, Oh, that's
not true or whatever.
It's easier to work through andprocess.
So it started out that way and Ialso just had really bad self
esteem.
I just really hated myself, likehow I looked, who I was and.
(04:20):
In eighth grade, I just realizedI had to change that.
It felt kind of like life ordeath, you know?
So, I started using writing as away to love myself more.
And so I started just with likea lot of affirmations.
(04:41):
I would do that every day, justwriting, you know, I'm beautiful
and qualities about myself thatI liked.
And, at first, like, I didn'treally believe all that stuff I
was writing.
But, with consistency, as you doit, I started to believe it.
And I started to be able toexpand upon that.
And, the mental health journeyhas continued.
(05:07):
You know, it's a lot of ups anddowns.
I still have major depressivedisorder.
And, I was recently justdiagnosed with ADHD.
and a couple years ago with, um,borderline personality disorder.
And some of it's definitelygenetic, like some of it runs
through my family.
Um, but, yeah, it's never reallygone away, especially the
(05:34):
depression part.
And writing, I like to say likeI turn my pain into poetry.
Like, being able to express allthe terrible things you're
feeling and thinking.
in a way that like makes youfeel kind of proud.
(05:55):
Is a really nice feeling.
And then being able to sharethat with other people and have
other people respond to that andthen open up themselves about
relating to stuff like that hasbeen life
Leslie (06:11):
changing.
I feel like, yeah, yeah.
Thank you for sharing all ofthat.
It sounds like your purpose, orat least writing, is helping you
cope, with, some of the mentalhealth challenges that you have
(06:32):
and your purpose is thenbringing that through and
helping other people healthrough that.
When you, you talked about goingto a therapist and the advice of
writing as a way of helping youheal or helping you process,
were you already a writer?
Is that something that youalready had joy in or did you
(06:57):
discover that through thetherapist?
Emily (07:01):
I had, I, I know that I was a writer in a sense of, at
school, I was, I would alwaysget an A on, like, essays and
stuff like that.
It just came naturally.
Leslie (07:13):
I,
Emily (07:15):
before that, I didn't really do much with it, but as
soon as that started, it didn'tend.
It just kept going, and itbecame such an important part in
my life, especially, I felt.
I feel very disconnected frompeople and I feel like I didn't
have a very strong supportsystem.
(07:36):
And especially when you'redealing with depression and
other mental struggles, it canbe very isolating.
And I use writing, I guess, as away to not feel so alone.
You know, it helped me feel lesslonely, even if I wasn't sharing
(07:57):
it with other people.
I think it does take you, like,deeper into, personal
reflection.
So, when you're writing,whatever you're writing about,
whether that's just basicjournaling, or you are trying to
write some kind of poetry, oressays, or whatever, You're
reflecting, so you're seeingthings in a different
(08:17):
perspective, I feel like.
Because you have to reallythink, how do I want this to
come across?
Right.
Or it just comes naturally, andit just helps you gain new
perspective, I feel like.
Yeah,
Leslie (08:30):
do you have something that you could read to us?
Emily (08:33):
Yes, I do.
So, this is my second.
Her Sweet Bitter Truths.
And it's funny, the last poem isactually called Purpose.
Love it.
It is.
It goes, I will craft a hundredpoems about grey skies, the
(08:55):
brightness of the moon, and howthe wind sways through the
trees.
I will type pages upon pagesabout glances stolen,
beginnings, endings, and all thethings I wish you'd say to me.
I will choose my words carefullyas black ink pours.
Stories, memories, make believe,and all the things I hope will
come to be.
For my pen is my power, my will,my fate.
(09:18):
I'll burn my being onto paperand watch as a pile of self
titled books rise.
For in this lifetime, I write tosurvive.
Leslie (09:29):
That is beautiful.
Emily (09:30):
Thank you.
And I truly do feel that waybecause, When I am struggling,
and you know, if I'm in themiddle of a breakdown or
something, or if I'm just, youknow, down bad, writing is just
something that's always there.
It's always available.
Right.
You can always go to it.
Right.
And, it just makes me feelbetter.
(09:54):
Yeah.
Even if it's not perfect.
And, really want people to know,especially people who come to my
group and everything, to be awriter is to write.
And it doesn't have to beperfect, it doesn't have to be
good or, in my opinion, like,grammatically correct or
(10:15):
whatever.
Like, writing is just writing.
It's an expression.
And whether you're justjournaling or making lists,
like, I'm such a list person.
It can all be so impactful anduseful.
Leslie (10:30):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tell us a little bit more aboutyour group.
Emily (10:34):
Yeah.
So, I started it about a yearago.
October of last year.
My friend, Anika, she came to meand she pitched the idea.
She was like, you should have,you should do this.
You should make this group.
And I already had the namepicked out.
Writing is From Her Corner.
(10:56):
I always like wanted to dosomething with it, but I didn't
know what and she just told meshe's like just Find a cafe like
go do go find somewhere andinvite people and like see who
comes like I'm sure some peoplewill come and you know and it
was really scary at first I Evenfor the first like I've done 15
(11:18):
sessions And I feel like I'mjust now getting confident with
it, but before the sessions,like, I'll get so nervous.
And then once the session startsand we're in the middle of it,
everything just calms down.
And by the end of the session, Ijust feel so full and full of
(11:43):
light.
It's just very, it's verymagical, especially now that
I've had more sessions.
So the same people are showingup.
And we love new people as well,but.
So for the first, it's usuallyan hour and a half.
Okay.
So for the, it's kind of splitinto like three parts.
So the first part is justmingling, just talking, getting
(12:05):
to know each other.
And sometimes if that's like alittle slow, like, I have social
anxiety.
kind of bad.
And I realized like other peopleprobably do as well.
So I try to like be veryaccommodating during my session.
So I always have like questionsready to go and everything.
(12:26):
So I'll like post questions andwe just kind of get to know each
other through that.
And then, and it's a great wayto make friends.
Like I have made a couple of mybest friends through these
groups and it can be really hardas a new adult to Make friends,
you know, especially if you'renot in school, or you just have
(12:47):
a hard time.
Right.
So yeah, we'll all mingle andthen we'll go into independent
reading or writing time.
Okay.
So people can Spread out, andit'll usually be about 30 40
minutes where we're justindependently writing or
reading.
Before we do independent readingor writing, I'll pose a prompt.
(13:08):
So if people want to do theprompt, they can.
If not, they don't have to.
And then at the very end of thesession, we have time that we
can share.
So if that's the prompt, oranything else, Someone's been
working on.
Yeah, we have that sharing timeand That's my favorite time I
(13:29):
bet yeah, and It's so funny,it's not funny, but so many
times So many people who shareThey'll start out with saying
I'm not a writer, or, oh, I justfinished this, like, this is
just a draft.
Like, they'll diminishthemselves in their writing
before they even read it at all.
(13:51):
And then they'll proceed to readthe most, like, beautiful or
profound piece, and emotional.
And then so many people canconnect with what they're
saying.
I feel like very often.
We feel like we're alone in thethings that we experience and
feel.
And for a while, I felt that waytoo.
(14:13):
Just writing in my notebook.
And then as you start sharingand opening up, you get people
saying, I've been through that,or I am going through that.
Leslie (14:23):
I can react to what you just said there because part of
your purpose is community andthat connection of I've been
there or that is helping tocreate community as well.
Emily (14:39):
It really is.
And it's very nice to have.
A community.
Not everyone has one.
And for the longest time, Ididn't.
And I didn't know how to findone.
Leslie (14:51):
Yeah.
Emily (14:51):
So I guess I just created one.
Leslie (14:53):
Yes, you did.
Yeah.
Emily (14:55):
And it just makes my heart happy.
You know, like our last sessionwas right after election
results.
And it was a heavy session.
And it took, I, I could tell ittook a lot for people to come
and to be there.
(15:17):
It, the energy was just veryheavy and I started out just
asking everyone, How are wedoing?
And what's one way you're takingcare of yourself?
Or a new way you want to starttaking care of yourself?
And then I posed a prompt justright about, Your experience,
(15:37):
how you're feeling abouteverything going on.
And then we all wrote and we allshared and you could just feel
the energy and feelings shift.
Like you come in feeling howeveryou're feeling depressed, angry,
scared, and then we all sharehow we feel and we all have such
(15:58):
different perspectives, but alsosimilar ideas and feelings.
And it just makes you feel notalone, like, you feel supported
and that you have people thatare standing with you and that
believe in you and
Leslie (16:16):
support.
Emily (16:16):
And it's just very beautiful to have that, to be
able to keep coming back to.
Right.
Leslie (16:22):
Right.
Which is the healing piece too,yeah.
Um, so, a couple, Observations.
So Purpose Project is a researchstudy on the topic of life's
purpose.
And one of the things that hasbecome crystal clear to me is,
(16:44):
and it's kind of obvious whenyou say it out loud, but it, but
I had to discover it for it tobecome obvious, is that to find
our purpose, we have to goinward.
We have to.
Quiet our minds.
We've got to really take a lookat ourselves in the mirror and
(17:05):
face the good, the bad, theugly, the beautiful, you know,
all the things, the fears.
And your story, speaks to thatas well in terms of using
writing as a way of reallyexploring your thoughts, your
feelings.
And.
(17:25):
Helping you heal as well withaffirmations.
Emily (17:28):
Yeah.
So I actually struggled withpurpose for a really long time,
especially with all the suicidalideation.
You know, that was a big thing.
Why am I here?
What do I have to live forbesides obviously family and all
that good stuff?
(17:50):
I struggled, struggled with thatfor a while.
Because I feel like societydoesn't do an amazing job of
wanting people to find theirpurpose and follow it.
And I say that because once youstart figuring out what I want
(18:10):
to do for a career, some of theoptions can just be kind of
limited.
And I, I felt Like that for awhile, I was very scared to
start my career and not have italigned with my purpose and my
passions.
(18:30):
But, it takes a lot to followyour passion.
I feel like, like you have to,It's hard to even kind of
discover.
And, like I said earlier,purposes can be ever changing.
And, I think the basic line ofpurpose is to be.
To be as happy as you can be.
(18:53):
What's going to get you there,and then just aligning yourself
to that goal.
With the right things thatyou're doing and surrounding
yourself with the right people.
Leslie (19:02):
Yeah.
Yeah That is that's anotherConclusion that I'm coming to
for now is that a lot of timespeople think about purpose as
this achievement this goal thisMission this thing and they
think in big grand terms likepurpose of my life but what I'm
(19:26):
hearing from you and from othersis that it is really more of a,
a way of being.
Yeah.
It's when our self is inalignment with our actions.
How we are is aligned with whatwe're doing and it's hard
because of the societalpressures or the societal norms
(19:51):
or conditioning, whatever youwant to call it.
But the things that externalputs on us as this is how you
should live your life Or theseare the thing the careers you
should pursue.
Emily (20:03):
Yeah, and so much of that gets like trapped in your own
head and then You're not likereally listening to that, but
you're telling yourself thatright and that's what I was
doing for a while, too I was sodepressed because I felt like I
knew what I wanted to do.
I wanted to be, have a group ofwomen, like, you know, create
(20:23):
something like that and havethat be my career.
And I just felt like, I can't dothat.
I don't know how to do that.
And it was depressing.
Until I got over that fear andrealized I could do that.
That's entirely possible.
(20:44):
It's just a changing yourperspective, which is hard.
Leslie (20:48):
Yeah, it is.
Emily (20:49):
It is really hard and it takes a lot and sometimes it
takes going through a lot ofthings that don't align with you
to figure, figure out what makesyour
Leslie (21:03):
soul light up.
Right, and sometimes we get justcaught up in the motions of.
The shoulds like this is what Ishould do.
I should go to college.
I should graduate with thesedegrees.
I should get this job.
I should get married.
And, and we're so caught up inthat, that we don't look outside
(21:23):
of it and say, hold on, is thiswhat lights me up?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Emily (21:30):
That was like always just one of my biggest fears.
I'm not going to be doing whatI'm passionate about.
Or I'm not going to be alignedwith my purpose.
I was always so scared of that,so, I tried to go into like, non
profit work.
I've worked with Girls Inc., andIndiana Humanities, and Visit
Indy, which are all very greatorganizations that help build
(21:53):
community, and enrich people'slives.
It's just not a topic that a lotof people talk about regularly.
No one's really having thatconversation a lot, you know.
All the external just kind ofrules your life sometimes.
Yeah.
It takes a lot to break out ofthat.
(22:15):
And, I mean, for me, also, Iwill get caught back up in it.
And I'll lose sight of thethings that are important to me.
That happens a lot.
It's just a matter of gettingback into it and becoming more
focused.
Yeah.
Leslie (22:33):
I see so much courage in you.
And, I think fear keeps peoplefrom pursuing their purpose.
Oh, yeah.
And I see you.
I'm imagining you scared, butdoing it anyway.
Emily (22:54):
Oh yeah,
Leslie (22:54):
I mean that's what's happening
Emily (22:55):
right now.
And like, before every session,even my last session, I was
talking to one of my friendsafterwards and I was like, Ugh,
I just get so much anxietybefore each session and I'm like
kind of Winging it a little bit.
I do a lot of planning, butsometimes I wing stuff and I
feel awkward.
(23:15):
And I even say, I'm like, sorryguys, I'm so socially awkward
and all this stuff, I'm soanxious.
And then she's like, are youkidding me?
I thought that was all, like,amazing, like, and it just,
like, just like, get out of yourown head.
You know, and it's so hard todo.
It's really easy to, whoo.
(23:38):
Think the way you always think.
And for me, I've always been amore negative thinker.
And it just doesn't take youanywhere.
It just keeps you in the sameplaces, the same sad,
frustrating, boring places.
And flipping to that positivemindset, just believing, not
(24:02):
even positive, not the falsepositivity and stuff, but Truly
believing that things can workout for you and trusting, I
really do believe in trustingthe universe and what wavelength
are you on?
Where do you want to be?
How do you get there?
And believing, trusting that youcan get there.
(24:24):
You can do that yourself andwith other people.
Leslie (24:27):
Um, what I hear from you is this real intention around
shifting your thinking and anawareness of, I tend to think
more negative, that's notserving me, so I'm going to
shift that and I'm going to putmy trust in this universe that
(24:49):
we're all a part of, that as Ishift.
My thoughts that my outcomes aregonna change as a result.
Emily (24:58):
Yeah, and I believe in manifesting too.
And I also believe, just in thebasic logic of it, if you say
something's gonna happen, andyou make yourself believe it's
gonna happen, you'resubconsciously gonna take the
actions to get to that place.
It's just a matter of, Figuringout what do I want?
(25:20):
What do I want to manifest?
What do I want my life to looklike for the people around me?
It is being intentional.
Leslie (25:28):
Right.
Which, I just got goosebumpshere because earlier you said,
Your girlfriend came to you andsaid we need to do this thing,
or you need to do this thing.
And you already had a name.
It's as if you manifested that.
(25:48):
I did because
Emily (25:50):
in high school, I was such like an existentialist.
Like, I feel like high schoolwas just one big existential
crisis for me.
Because of purpose and like, youknow, I'm going into college
soon.
I have to figure out my career.
It was just all so scary and Ifelt, I knew what I wanted to
(26:12):
do.
I was like, if I could doanything, I see myself leading a
group of women Something withmental health, but I don't
really want to become atherapist or, you know, that
kind of stuff.
Like, I saw it in my head, andthen I just dismissed it.
(26:32):
I was like, maybe that canhappen one day, but
realistically, I'm gonna have togo different ways.
Leslie (26:40):
Yeah.
Emily (26:40):
And so, to be here now, Is really special.
I mean, it's not my career.
I am trying to turn it intothat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I recently like got my llc Andi'm starting to Plan workshops
out.
I'm doing my first collaborationwith a non profit centers of
wellness for urban women I'mdoing a writing workshop with
(27:03):
them.
I love that.
Yeah, and i'm like getting paidfor it, which is amazing Yes So
I would love for that to be myfull time You Bang and like I
can manifest that and like oneday it can happen But it's it's
really crazy to think about howin high school.
I imagined that and then justpushed it down
Leslie (27:24):
Yeah, and then it came to you.
Yeah.
Yeah,
Emily (27:27):
and yeah, I just feel like it is a matter of Getting
out of your own head Doing iteven if you are scared.
Yeah, well if you're and youdon't believe in yourself, I
feel like believe in yourself isMost of the battle,
Leslie (27:41):
okay You
Emily (27:42):
I do.
Leslie (27:43):
So how did you take us through the first group that you
hosted?
Cause that was probably, I amimagining the biggest fear that
you faced maybe.
I was very nervous.
Yes.
Um, but, but even sending theinvite or however you got people
there, what was it?
(28:04):
Walk us through what you werethinking and how you pushed
through it.
Emily (28:08):
I remember I was So anxious, so scared.
Even to address the group ofpeople there.
Um, but we did it in my friend'scafe.
Gaia Cafe in Botanical.
And It was a good crowd.
It was like 15 ish people
Leslie (28:29):
that showed up.
So how did you get them there?
Cause did the fear happen beforetoo?
Oh yeah, I mean it's always
Emily (28:37):
happening.
Like it doesn't go away and it'snot gonna go away.
It's just a matter of if you'regonna let it affect you or
derail you or not.
Leslie (28:46):
Well and the reason why I want to go before is once you
say you're doing it, you'redoing it.
It's kind of, not easier, butyou have to do it, right?
Yeah.
So it's the commitment to do it,which in my mind is when you
send the invite out.
I posted
Emily (29:06):
about it.
I always just post on myInstagram about it.
And yeah, at that point I hadlike, I can't remember if I just
published, I don't know, I justpublished one.
So I was always kind of, kind ofestablishing myself as.
Like a writer, so I hadnaturally people who followed me
who were also writers and, youknow.
(29:27):
So I just posted on Instagramand on Eventbrite.
I do that with everything.
And just asking people to shareit on their stories as well, and
invite people, invite friends toit.
And it's so amazing, like,people who showed up at that
first one, like, still come, andthat makes me so happy.
I bet.
(29:47):
And just gaining new peoplealong the way.
But I remember being so scaredand walking in and even as I was
like thanking everyone forcoming and explaining what we
were going to do and stuff, myvoice was so quiet and it was
very, very shaky, but I did it,but I said it, like, you know,
(30:10):
speak even if your voice shakesand that continued like
happening, like I would stillhave anxiety and be scared To
talk until until I wasn't yeah,it's doing it until
Leslie (30:24):
You got it.
That's right.
Yeah How can Those that arelistening learn more about can
on Instagram or the group wherecan they go?
Emily (30:36):
Yeah, so I actually just started a separate page on Now
that writings from her corner isbecoming more of a business like
for the community So that pageis writingsfromhercorner.org.
Leslie (30:50):
Okay,
Emily (30:51):
my Instagram is just Writings From Her Corner
Leslie (30:54):
Okay, I will put that on the in the show notes for those
listening as well.
Emily (31:00):
Yeah, and I'm always posting about My upcoming dates
One big way that I actually gotinto the literary community is
working with Indiana HumanitiesReally?
Yeah, I they host the IndianaAuthors Awards So as an intern a
lot of my job was I wasinterviewing authors and going
(31:20):
to different bookstores and thatyear, last year, like three new
bookstores popped up and itseemed like the community was
really starting to thrive and Ijust was like, Oh my God, this
is such a beautiful community.
Things are happening and like noone really knows about it.
(31:42):
Like how do you get people toknow about things?
I don't know.
It's hard.
Yeah, I know.
I was just going back to, youknow, Your purpose, like, it's
not just selling books orwhatever.
Like, I just find like the morehuman you are with things and
the more real you are withthings, the better, you know,
(32:06):
just the authenticity ofeverything.
You know, you just
Leslie (32:11):
attract what you put out, I feel like.
I agree.
Emily (32:14):
I feel like a lot of it's just listening to your
intuition.
Yeah.
And there's so much noise thatcan drown that out.
Leslie (32:24):
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, looking forward, are thereother things that you see in
your future?
Emily (32:33):
Yeah, I would love to do this in more communities.
I'm just doing this in downtownIndianapolis.
I would like to do it in otherplaces in Indiana and maybe
outside of Indiana.
And I would like to developworkshops and be able to partner
with organizations, especiallynonprofits.
(32:57):
Nonprofits just have such aspecial place in my heart.
And that's, yeah, I would justlove to do that and I would love
to obviously keep writing andkeep publishing, self
publishing, and helping otherpeople do that too.
Leslie (33:14):
Okay.
Yeah, I
Emily (33:16):
want to be, I want to see the people that come to my
group.
Do stuff with their writing andthey are, it's so nice.
They'll come in and like, wealways check in like, have you
been writing recently and stuff?
And a lot of times it's like,no, but, and then they leave and
then they come back and they'relike, I have been now.
(33:36):
Cause like, I was inspired.
Right.
You know, it's just puttingyourself in those kind of
positions.
It's just, it's veryheartwarming.
I just love the connections and,That's where I want to see
myself keep going, just keep onbuilding the community and
welcoming more people in.
Leslie (33:56):
Yeah.
Emily (33:57):
Yeah, that's the important part for me, I feel
like.
Leslie (34:00):
Yes, yeah.
So you've shared your purpose ofhelping people heal through
community and writing, and howyou've discovered it and all of
that.
I've, I've sensed as you'vetalked about your purpose, um,
some of the feelings that mightcome with it, but how does it
(34:23):
make you feel?
Emily (34:24):
Warm.
And like, magical.
I always leave the sessionsfeeling like I can't explain
what happens.
It just kind of feels likemagic, in a way.
And honestly, I feel like somuch of that is just magical.
Having a space where people canbe vulnerable.
(34:45):
It's hard to do.
Leslie (34:46):
Yeah.
Emily (34:46):
Even like one on one with people or whatever.
Even being vulnerable yourselfand with yourself is hard.
So when you have a group ofpeople together who can really
open up and receive support, itjust lifts the energy up.
You're just brought to a higherplace, I feel like.
(35:07):
Yeah.
Yeah, I think there's a lot ofstrength in coming together,
especially with women.
We go through so much of this,so many similar things.
A lot of hard things in comingtogether.
It just, it makes you feel likeyou can handle things.
(35:28):
Yeah.
Versus alone, it's hard to feel.
Like you can handle things whenyou're alone.
Right.
And I felt like I was alone fora lot of my life, most of my
life.
And I don't really feel that wayanymore.
Leslie (35:42):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you've shared a lot of,feelings that are positive.
Mm hmm.
Are, are there any negatives todeal with when you're living in
your purpose?
Mm hmm.
Emily (35:58):
I
Leslie (35:58):
mean, yeah.
Emily (36:00):
You know, imposter syndrome.
It's like, who am I to lead agroup of people?
What credentials do I have?
It's like, well, I have somecredentials, yeah, just feeling
like you're not good enough.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thinking, I don't know, justdoubting yourself.
Leslie (36:22):
Yeah.
Emily (36:24):
Especially when you do something that's different.
Kind of out of the norm.
You know, you're taking a risk.
It can be really scary,especially if it fails.
You know, and like coming onhere for me was a risk as well.
I was like, it can either goreally good or maybe it won't go
(36:46):
good.
And I'll be really sad, but it'sa risk I have to take, right?
Because, yeah, I could go bad,but it could also go really
great.
Yeah.
So just, yeah, just a lot ofself doubt.
The fear.
Leslie (36:59):
The anxiety.
And those things are things inour heads.
They're things in our thoughtsthat we make up, you know?
Emily (37:08):
Yeah.
And then once you, I feel likeonce you start putting things
out there into the universe, youjust start attracting things.
Like, that's actually how myfirst book came to be, because I
was talking out loud about how Iwanted to write a book.
And, you know, like our phoneskind of listen to us.
(37:29):
So, like, I mean, that's likepublic knowledge.
I got, like, an ad for, apoetry, challenge.
And then they, like, 21 daychallenge.
And then they would publish yourbook.
And I was, like, super depressedthat day.
Like, laying in bed, doomscrolling.
And I came across that.
And I was like, oh, I can dothis.
(37:49):
And it just took taking thatstep that leads you to so many.
It's, like, so much of.
Taking the first step and havingthe courage to just keep taking
the steps You know, even if youdon't know where they're gonna
lead
Leslie (38:00):
right?
Yeah.
Yeah get out of your head andinto action.
Yeah.
Yes It's hard And
Emily (38:10):
might go poor but also might go great.
Leslie (38:13):
Yeah, absolutely Yeah, Do it even if you're scared take
the step, one step forward andthen the next.
Yeah.
So what advice do you have forthose that are listening that,
are where you were and justasking those questions about
(38:35):
What am I here to do?
And in all of that, what's youradvice?
Emily (38:39):
Definitely get out of your own head.
You know, we grow up and we havesuch limiting beliefs, not just
about ourselves, but also aboutthe world and about other
people, relationships.
And it takes a lot of healing toget past all those limiting
beliefs and to start.
(39:01):
Believing that there is good outthere, and you can also do good
things.
It's stepping out of yourcomfort zone, and exploring
things you might not like.
It can lead you to things thatyou do like.
Listening to your intuition, Ithink is really important.
(39:25):
And, knowing you're not alone.
You always hear that, you're notalone, even when you feel like
you really are, but like trulyopening up to people, to the
right people, can really make ahuge difference in your life.
Yeah, and it takes a lot ofstrength and courage to do that,
(39:47):
especially when you try openingup and not being alone.
Sometimes if it's not to theright people, You're still gonna
feel alone.
Right.
And it might take going todifferent places and spaces and
events to figure out where youmight find the right people.
(40:09):
Right.
Leslie (40:10):
Well, and you created it.
Emily (40:11):
Yeah.
And if you can't find it, createit.
Yeah.
Leslie (40:14):
Yeah.
Emily (40:16):
Like there's, there is space.
A place for everyone.
I do feel like absolutely foreveryone.
It's just a matter of Finding itor creating it
Leslie (40:27):
Right.
Yeah.
Yes Is there anything leftunsaid on the topic of life's
purpose?
Emily (40:35):
It can feel so so daunting and overwhelming And
even I get wrapped up In it Oh,I'm not making enough money.
My job isn't aligning exactlywith what I want to do.
It's, it's just the mindset.
You just gotta shift.
So many times I spend hoursworrying so much about a
(41:04):
particular event or something.
And then that event will happen,and it went perfectly fine.
It's like that was all fornothing.
Like sometimes you are kind ofcreating your own, right?
You're putting yourself in acage and it's hard to recognize
that and to break out of it.
That's hard.
(41:24):
Yeah.
But you can do hard things.
Life's purpose doesn't have tobe this big, overwhelming,
daunting thing.
And it doesn't have to be oneanswer, that's the answer for
your whole life.
Or something that means so much,you know, it can be something so
small as every day I want tomake someone smile or just feel
(41:50):
content for an hour of my day,you know, it doesn't have to be
something so big.
Leslie (41:56):
Absolutely.
I think that is wise words.
Emily, thank you so much forbeing on Purpose Project.
I am taking so much away fromthis conversation.
Emily (42:09):
So,
Leslie (42:13):
As a mother, I couldn't help but reflect on the weight
that young adults carry as theystep into their independence.
The big questions about life'spurpose can feel overwhelming,
even paralyzing.
Emily's story got me thinking,how can we make life's purpose
(42:33):
feel less heavy and moreaccessible?
How can we frame it as ajourney?
That's fluid.
That's personal.
That's within reach foreveryone, no matter where they
are in life.
Emily, thank you for yourvulnerability and sharing your
story.
And more importantly, thank youfor being a role model to us in
(42:56):
living a life with courage andpurpose.
And to everyone listening, thankyou for tuning in.
Until next time, take care ofyourselves and keep exploring
your life's purpose.
Purpose Project is brought toyou for education and for
(43:20):
entertainment purposes.
This podcast is not intended toreplace the advice that you
would receive from a licensedtherapist or doctor or any other
qualified professional.
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