December 17, 2025 • 57 mins
Welcome to the first of a couple of our QUEER VOICES Holiday Specials! We talk with Tammi Wallace about the Greater Houston LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce and how you can use them as a resource to find the right business to do... well... anything with! Then we have a roundtable featuring Bryan Hlavinka, Deborah Moncrief Bell, R. Lee Ingalls, and Brett Cullum discussing holiday traditions within the community. And we play a song or two to get you in the mood for the holidays!
Queer Voices airs in Houston Texas on 90.1FM KPFT and is heard as a podcast here. Queer Voices hopes to entertain as well as illuminate LGBTQ issues in Houston and beyond. Check out our socials at:
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https://www.instagram.com/queervoices90.1kpft/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Deborah (00:07):
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(00:53):
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SPEAKER_04 (01:12):
Come on, get happy.
I hear again.
Brett (03:41):
So, first up, we talk to Tammy Wallace about the Greater
Houston LGBTQ Plus Chamber ofCommerce and how you can find
businesses friendly to thecommunity to do your holiday
shopping, or really for anyother need you may have.
Then we have a round tablediscussion with Deborah Moncrief
Bell, Brian Llovinka, and authorR.
Lee Ingalls joining me to talkabout holidays and traditions
(04:05):
that we observe as part of thecommunity.
Also sprinkled here and there,there will be holiday music to
get you in the mood.
Career Voices starts now.
Hi, this is Brett Cullum, andtoday I am joined by Tammy
Wallace of the Greater HoustonLGBTQ Plus Chamber of Commerce.
I wanted to get her advice onholiday shopping in our
(04:26):
community and talk about somechamber events and plans for the
new year.
So happy holidays, or ratherhappy holidays, as I am prone to
say, just to annoy my Republicanparents.
Welcome to Queer Voices again,Tammy.
Nice to see you again.
SPEAKER_08 (04:40):
Nice to see you, Brett.
Okay, you're starting off thisinterview.
So great.
I love it.
Brett (04:45):
I know.
I'm I'm incorrigible.
But uh we did a segment uh awhile back about doing research
for companies to find out who isLGBTQIA plus supportive a couple
of weeks ago.
I wanted to ask you how you dothat.
SPEAKER_08 (04:58):
Yeah, so um, so we, you know, we have our membership
base.
We have about 560 plus membersat the timber, and um we have
our directory online wherepeople can go and find LGBTQ
plus supportive and inclusivebusinesses to do their holiday
shopping.
And you know, you've heard mesay this so many times, but we
are promoting, you know,supporting LGBTQ-owned and
(05:21):
allied-owned businesses, notjust during the holidays, but
all throughout the year so wecan drive economic empowerment
for the community.
Brett (05:28):
Well, I've been looking at this directory, it's amazing.
It is just uhbusiness.houstonlgbt chamber.com
member directory after a forwardslash there.
But you've got every categoryand you can basically just put
in like the area of town you'rein, or if you're not even in
Houston, you can put in anotherarea or something.
I mean, it's amazing.
Yeah.
(05:48):
And how did you guys collect allof this?
I mean, it's just yourmembership, or is it also the I
know that you have someaffiliation with the national
chamber as well.
SPEAKER_08 (05:55):
So this is just our local regional membership that
you're going to see.
But some of our members, I mean,we have a member as far as
Schuleberg, if you can imagine.
Yeah.
Um, because people want to beconnected, connected with the
chamber.
And it is, it's such a robot,robust research tool.
This is one of the reasons wetell businesses, engage with the
chamber because we're activelyworking on campaigns to push
(06:18):
people to that directory.
And and particularly these days,you know, wanting people are
trying to be more intentionalabout how they spend their
dollars, and that directory justbecomes an incredible,
incredible resources.
But that's just one of the hugebenefits for businesses to be
part of the chamber.
And look, it's not justbusinesses.
If you're looking for anonprofit, you want to support
(06:39):
during the holidays, if you'regiving, we have about 55 of
those uh in um in the directory,uh, along with, you know, other
types of organizations.
Brett (06:49):
Well, you know, giving this year is a big thing because
a lot of people lost theirfederal funding or their grants.
So I I really encourage that.
I mean, I really am looking forprograms that I can support that
are part of our community that Ican feel good about contributing
to.
I mean, obviously we've wetalked about the Salvation Army.
Um cross-purpose with with us atsome points, but and now I can
(07:15):
find like another organizationthat I can feel better about
doing.
SPEAKER_08 (07:18):
Well, and think about that.
Yes.
I mean, and then again, beingintentional with supporting
nonprofits, right?
That support our community.
And that goes for not just LGBTQplus led or focused nonprofits,
but mainstream nonprofits thatare have a commitment to the
community, which you'll find,find in our directories.
So maybe, you know, there's uhuh Emancipat, for example, is
(07:40):
one of our nonprofit members.
So if you're helping Emancipate.
Oh, Emancipators.
Okay, yes, so they help, youknow, uh shelter dogs and
adoptions and all of that.
Mainstream organization that umnonprofit organization that's
part of the chamber.
And so, you know, you can findall kinds of resources in the
(08:02):
chamber directory, but that'sjust one example of a nonprofit
member that's not LGBTQ focused,but you know, supporting the
community.
Brett (08:10):
Oh, don't tell me this, Tammy.
I don't have a dog right now.
Oh my spouse is gonna kill youbecause I'm gonna look up my man
so fast and be like, Yeah,they're they're gonna do it for
the holiday.
SPEAKER_08 (08:20):
They're amazing folks.
Join uh join this this year.
And that's you know, that's whatwe're doing in this LGBTQ, what
we call ecosystem, right?
Is helping to lift up uh LGBTQowned businesses by nonprofits,
large companies, their ERGgroups, et cetera, all through
connection, connection withcommunity, and ultimately to
(08:41):
drive this economy, an inclusiveeconomy where everyone belongs.
That's the work we're doing 365days a year.
Brett (08:48):
Now, recently I talked about the hub certification,
which has recently changedsignificantly.
I mean dramatically crazy.
And uh they mentioned thatHouston does have an LGBTQ list
in the city of Houston.
Is that am I getting that right?
What is that?
SPEAKER_08 (09:04):
Yeah, so um, so there is a certification for
LGBTQ owned businesses.
If you're 51% or more on uh moreowned, you can qualify.
And it's um what we call LGBTBEor business enterprise
certification.
The third-party certifying bodyis the national LGBTQ and allied
chamber of commerce.
So we're an affiliate completelystandalone, but we work with
(09:27):
them to get businesses LGBTBEcertified.
So what Julie, your your priorguest, would have shared.
So I worked with Mayor Turner anumber of years ago to get that
certification recognized at thecity of Houston.
He signed an executive order.
It was historic, making Houstonthe first city in the state to
recognize LGBTBE certifiedbusinesses.
(09:50):
And so you can go to the city'sdirectory and find a list of
those certified businesses.
Brett (09:56):
Yeah.
So and if a business wants to beon that list, they could come to
you as a resource and to thechamber to get that kind of
certification.
SPEAKER_08 (10:04):
And the great thing is part of our partnership with
uh the NGLCC is the acronym thatthey have historically used, the
National Chamber.
Um, if you're a member of ourchamber, the eight nine it's an
$8.99 certification fee, that'scompletely waived.
So you get that immediately,right, as part of your member
benefits, but then all of thelocal and regional benefits that
(10:24):
we offer our members.
It's a real, it's a realwin-win.
Brett (10:28):
Yeah, and it's so important right now.
I mean, I really do try.
Uh I I was talking about how Leeand I always try to shop.
Yeah.
Businesses that we know areowned by local community.
We we definitely like run up anddown 18th Street and look for
the people that are supportingcommunity.
SPEAKER_08 (10:48):
You know, I think I think I hear you say that, and I
know you guys are just so sosupportive and intentional,
right?
With your spending.
And I know, you know, I've knownknown you guys for years and
this just group of friends, thiscore group of friends that you
have.
So I think about if every one ofthat core group of just your
friends are doing thatintentionally, imagine the
(11:09):
impact of that if you were toquantify that.
Amazing remarkable.
Yeah.
Brett (11:13):
Yeah.
No, I always try to keep mydollars in the community as much
as I possibly can.
And it's it's one of thosethings.
It's it's it's what we do.
And I think as a group,sometimes we're not as good at
doing it as other groups are atdoing it.
And maybe it's because it'sharder to know for sure.
But I do see a lot of businesseshave the little decals that you
guys put out that says member ofthe chamber.
(11:35):
So that helps a lot when I seethat on their door.
I'm like, oh, I got safe care.
SPEAKER_08 (11:40):
And we and exactly, we love that.
And that's that's truly, youknow, we want to grow this
initiative because you'reexactly right.
We have not been as intentionalas a community.
Just it's just building theawareness and getting people to
think about intentionallyspending their dollars with
LGBTQ and allied-on businesses.
And then when you when peoplehear that, we've done this with,
(12:02):
for example, some of our largeemployers, chamber members,
partners, their employeeresource groups.
We tell them during Pride Month,you need t-shirts, buy from an
LGBTQ owned business, right?
You need cookies, buy from, youknow, and it's the awareness,
and they're like, wow, we can dothat.
I can't even tell you how muchso many of our members have
benefited just from that, withthose employee resource groups
(12:23):
filling in June.
We're buying from an LGBTQ ownedbusiness, intentional spending.
So we're gonna expand, right,this campaign to raise the
awareness of the community.
And if we can do that, theimpact will be exponential.
I mean, we'll it'd just beremarkable.
Brett (12:38):
Okay, so one more time, we've got the Houston LGBT
chamber.com is your thing.
And then you can get to thedirectory, you can look at stuff
like that, you can do holidayshopping there, definitely like
figure out, but also any,honestly, anything.
I mean, there's like divisionsfor agriculture, fishing, and
forestry.
Literally, yeah.
Some t shirts.
SPEAKER_08 (12:58):
I mean, I mean it just goes to show we're we're
everywhere, we're everyone,which is the beauty of our
community.
Brett (13:04):
Yeah, and I'm I'm definitely gonna dive into this
health and wellness one becausethat's something that's close to
my heart.
And I definitely am looking fora couple of new providers.
So I'll be on this directoryright after when we finish
talking.
SPEAKER_08 (13:15):
But okay, so that's and we want to grow this
directory, right?
We want even more options forour members, particularly like
you know, if you're out inKatie, we want those businesses
joining.
Because if you're, you know,doing business, you live in
Katie, you want to findinclusive businesses or Cyprus,
or you know, because we are aregional China, right?
So we're gonna keep growing it.
Brett (13:33):
And it's wild because for so long we just looked at
Montrose as our community, butnow that has just become so
gentrified, and we have expandedout.
And I can't tell you how manypeople I know that live in Katie
or way out and that live inSchulenberg, you know, that kind
of thing.
And you're just like, wow, weare just everywhere now.
And that's another thing thatmakes it hard to find the
(13:55):
businesses that are therebecause in, you know, a lot of
it, let's be honest, a lot ofthe businesses in in those areas
are chains and they're ones thathave kind of weird politics.
I'd rather support somebodylocal and I'd rather have
somebody in my community.
SPEAKER_08 (14:07):
And I and I will say this is just the kind of the
flip side, but we do havebusinesses that have approached
us from Katie or Cyprus or, youknow, Richmond, whatever.
And uh they want to join thechamber, but they're they're
scared.
They're fearful that, you know,of being outed.
And so these are the how, youknow, we often say that members
come to us when they're ready.
(14:28):
I had a gentleman talk to us atour holiday celebration last
night.
He's like, I haven't joined yet.
I'm just kind of coming out.
And I said, We're here whenyou're ready.
Brett (14:37):
Yeah.
Well, it's hard because it is,it's taking a stance.
And it's definitely in thispolitical climate, it's a little
bit wild.
And speaking of this politicalclimate, holidays, all of that,
tell me a little bit about whatyou all have coming up for 2026.
Are there big events?
Are there what am I gonna lookfor?
SPEAKER_08 (14:53):
Yeah, let me tell you how excited we are about
2026 because the chamber isgonna be celebrating its 10-year
anniversary.
No way.
Yes, can you believe 10 years ofcreating, you know, economic
impact in the region?
And so you're gonna be seeingall kinds of uh the community is
gonna be seeing all kinds ofupdates, events we're gonna be
(15:14):
celebrating all year long toactually today are save the day
for our big pride and businesscelebration.
That's our luncheon and afterparty.
Epic, epic Pride Month event,the largest luncheon in the
LGBTQ plus community.
And it is gonna be uh on June12th.
We're gonna have well over athousand people joining us.
Brett (15:33):
My gosh.
SPEAKER_08 (15:34):
Yes.
So we're gonna lunch for athousand people.
We do that at the HiltonAmericas, our wonderful,
wonderful partners who havehosted us the last couple of
years.
And in fact, it's grown so much,we're gonna be moving up to the
fourth floor ballroom at theHilton Americas, which is gonna
give us so much morepre-function and after party
space.
So we're gonna be adding an exposo our businesses can table.
(15:56):
It is gonna be an amazing,amazing party.
Celebration, we give away 11Pride and Business Awards.
So, and that's in June, but backup, I mean, we're starting the
year off, kicking off with, youknow, all of our monthly events
starting in January.
In fact, the district attorneywill be our special guest for
our third Thursday breakfast inJanuary.
And February is the anniversarymonth.
(16:17):
So we're gonna do a biganniversary party and then just
celebrating all throughout theyear.
We've got some fun thingsattached.
We're gonna do something withHouston Asia Town Tours, one of
our members, uh, Kathy Podell.
She does tours over, you know,in in uh Asia Town.
And we're gonna go to an AsianAmerican owned business.
(16:39):
There's some great fun things.
I mean, with that, it's justgonna be a spectacular year.
Brett (16:44):
I hate talking to you because now I want to take a
tour of Asia Town with thiscompany.
She's amazing.
Yeah, I'm gonna have a dog andI'm gonna have a tour of Asia
Town.
And we're gonna be like, wheredid you get all this?
SPEAKER_07 (16:55):
We gotta get the third one in here somewhere.
I mean, yeah, yes, we gotta getthe third one in here.
Yes.
Brett (17:00):
Oh my gosh, yes, you were getting me in so much trouble,
but I love it.
Um definitely I I can't believethat you are 10 years old this
year.
So you were founded in 2015.
SPEAKER_08 (17:09):
16.
2016, that's right.
Brett (17:11):
Because we're going into 2026.
SPEAKER_08 (17:12):
Yeah, 2016.
But think about that, and thisis the one thing we talk about
when we talk about the historyof the chamber.
Think about what happened in2016.
That was the first Trumpelection, right?
Yeah.
In 2017, Hurricane Harvey.
And then we had the Texasfreeze, and then we celebrated
our fifth anniversary during thepandemic.
Uh, and barrel, and you know, Icould just keep going on and on.
(17:34):
And so we often say thatresilience is literally in the
DNA of the chamber.
And it's because every yearwe've had incredible challenges.
But we keep going, we keepmoving, and we do that because
our community needs us, right?
Our community, our businesses,we have to succeed.
So 10 years will be acelebration of the past, where
(17:56):
we're at now, but also wherewe're going.
And and part of that past isthis resilience that we've been
able to build, which just quitefrankly mirrors the resilience
of our community.
Brett (18:06):
Absolutely.
And right now, resilience iseverything.
But it has been.
It's it's always been.
I mean, I th I thought back to Iknow you you all did a big thing
for World AIDS Day, and I I yeahthat day was very somber for me,
and I remembered all of that,and I thought, my gosh.
And of course Lee wrote this bighuge tribute to you know all of
that.
And I just I don't know, it'sit's so much a part of our
(18:29):
community.
And and what I love about thechamber is your events are so
much fun and they're not tooserious.
You know what I mean?
Like sometimes you go tosomething and it's just like, oh
my gosh, this is politics orthis is you know, exactly
something very somber and likeoh let's remember these but we
really celebrate at the chamber.
I think that that's uh the nicepart.
SPEAKER_08 (18:49):
I mean we we celebrate community every day of
the year.
And you know, if you come to anevent, it is about hope, right?
Hope's that we are not we'regonna have, you know, we're
connecting now, but we're gonnakeep moving forward.
And this was part of mypost-election day message, you
know, last year.
And we impart that with thisconcept we call radical
hospitality.
And that is when everyone walksthrough our door, it's a place
(19:12):
where they feel like they'rewelcome and that they belong.
And that's needed so much today.
And that radical hospitalitycomes through as hope, as
support, as people being able toengage with community.
And we're literally just kind ofwrapping our arms around the
community and saying, come in,be in community.
We hope, you know, you make somegreat connections, whether
you're own a business or not,nonprofit, whatever that looks
(19:35):
like, we're here to support you.
Brett (19:37):
Well, you know what?
I've been driving all of myother hosts on Queer Voices
Crazy, asking them what givesthem hope.
So I'm gonna ask you, what givesyou hope for 2026?
SPEAKER_08 (19:46):
Um, what gives me hope?
Well, you know, when I uh uhwhen this morning we're all kind
of basking in the glow of ourholiday celebration, we had uh
over four hundred and fiftypeople that, you know, joined us
for that and just Literally thejoy that I saw on the faces of
people connecting.
And that gives me hope that as acommunity, no matter what
happens to us, we're not givingup.
(20:08):
We're staying connected.
We're staying in community.
But also what gives me hope iscelebrating 10 years of the
chamber, you know, chambersanniversary and knowing that
we've got an incredible 10years, 20 years ahead of us for
the work that we have to do.
And that this community has beenso supportive in embracing this
concept of an LGBTQ plus chamberin Houston that gives me hope.
(20:32):
And I have to say, maybe some ofthe uh the election, special
elections on Tuesday might giveme a little hope too.
Oh my gosh.
Brett (20:39):
I'm doing it.
I'm voting on like Saturday, Ithink, because I missed early
voting.
I was too busy.
Yes, yes.
Awesome.
Well, I wanted to ask you, doyou have any uh holiday
traditions with your wife andfamily?
Is there anything that you dospecial every year, just kind of
personally?
SPEAKER_08 (20:51):
You know, um, my wife and I, we've we've had just
quieter uh Christmascelebrations over the last few
years.
And um, that's really just beenabout us being together because
I'm so busy and the work thatI'm doing that I'm running, you
know.
So that's been our tradition tojust stop and uh be together,
(21:12):
not out, you know, we lovefamily, we love friends and all
that, but just spending spendingtime together.
And we've got, you know, we'vegot our little uh what we like
to call our herd, our uh threecats and and two dogs.
So we love you at a fancy pet.
Yes.
All of them are rescues, I will,I will say.
So, but uh you know, but one ofone of my personal traditions is
(21:34):
to uh particularly on Christmasmorning, is just to re and I I
do this on uh New Year's too, isto just be intentional when I
when I get up, get my coffee,and spend the morning uh on an
exercise of just gratitude, whatI'm thankful for.
And I'm you know, I'm incrediblyblessed.
My wife is incredible.
In fact, today's ouranniversary.
(21:56):
Yes, the day we got married,yes, uh, 25th, 10 years.
Brett (22:00):
And you're you're celebrating the chamber at the
same time.
Exactly.
She's been there for this wholecrazy ride.
SPEAKER_08 (22:05):
She has been there for this whole crazy ride.
You know, it's been a lot, Iwill, I will say.
But, you know, just gratitudeand bless because I often tell
our team, how often is it thatyou get to wake up every day and
do the work that we get to dothat moves the needle, moves the
bar for the community, makes adifference, makes an impact, and
is so, so fulfilling.
(22:25):
So I just think about thesethings, and particularly when
the work gets hard, but thoseare that's my gratitude
exercises on Christmas Day andNew Year's.
And New Year's is also about,you know, the looking, looking
forward.
Brett (22:37):
It's nice.
I feel like there's a stillnessto Christmas, and then there's
kind of an excitement of NewYear's when you're going
forward.
So thank you so much.
Uh Tammy Wallace, uh, GreaterHouston LGBTQ plus Chamber of
Commerce, a great place tonetwork, a great place to find
businesses that support ourcommunities.
I'm gonna ask you one last goofyquestion.
Do you have a favorite holidaysong?
(22:58):
Is there one that like youreally like just lights you up
as far as you know it's theholidays when you hear it?
SPEAKER_08 (23:04):
Yeah, uh, you know, uh what's the uh Mariah Carey
song?
Brett (23:07):
I'm All I want for Christmas is year.
SPEAKER_08 (23:09):
Yes, yes, yes.
That one.
But that is just the I mean,it's just the jazziest song,
right?
I mean, how could you not get,you know, like, oh yeah, you
hear it, you know.
We're in the holiday season.
But going back to what you saidabout um stillness, right?
And stillness of the holidays,but and I heard this on a movie
the other night and just broughttears to my eyes, but it it's
(23:30):
silent night.
That one really just it itgrounds me, uh, that particular
song with the holidays.
Brett (23:36):
Yeah, I think we probably just made every retail person
twitch with our imaginativeMariah Carey.
Yeah great song as last it.
She's been the Queen ofChristmas, so we'll we'll give
it to her.
SPEAKER_08 (23:46):
She she has.
Brett (23:47):
Well, maybe we can get her for June 12th for the
tenure.
SPEAKER_08 (23:52):
Wouldn't that be awesome?
Keep an eye out.
We're gonna be, you know,sharing a lot of announcements
coming out.
So and um, Brett, thank you forall you do with Queer Voices at
the Queer Voices group and team.
And you this is such animportant medium for our
community.
People don't even understand howpeople can connect and listen
and connect with community withthem being so sometimes so far
(24:14):
away.
But you all bring it every weekand just grateful to you and
happy holidays to you and Lee.
Brett (24:20):
Well, thank you, and happy holidays to everybody in
the chamber, and actually Leeand I are members, so there you
go.
SPEAKER_08 (24:25):
Yes, you are.
We love it.
Brett (24:26):
Yeah, have a great one.
SPEAKER_08 (24:28):
Thank you.
Brett (28:46):
We've got Brian LaVinka and Deborah Moncrete Bell uh is
with us, and so is author ArlieIngalls.
And of course you're herebecause we live in the same
house.
Right.
So we want to live somewhere.
Sorry.
I'm not going anywhere.
But we wanted to.
Deborah (28:58):
Just to be clear, he is there willingly.
Brett (29:01):
This is true.
Uh, but we wanted to talk aboutthe holidays, which I call the
holidays, just to annoy myRepublican parents.
I'm starting this whole trend.
Oh, I love it.
SPEAKER_06 (29:10):
I love it, I love it.
Brett (29:11):
Yes, and my parents are I mean, they're great.
We get along now, but uh, wedefinitely had some issues
growing up and coming out, and Ihad to really adjust my holiday
traditions around a family.
And I wanted to talk to all ofyou about have you experienced
kind of the same thing when youcame out or as queer or gay or
bi or lesbian?
(29:31):
I mean, what how did that shiftyour family and especially
during this time of year?
SPEAKER_06 (29:35):
So I I came out to my parents in college, and
unfortunately they didn't makeit past they're not alive now,
they're unalive.
So we kind of had to adjust ourChristmas traditions around
that.
And so David and I go to NewYork for Christmas usually to
see Broadway shows, which is apassion of mine.
Brett (29:52):
Yeah, you see every show almost, but that's that's not
your new tradition.
SPEAKER_06 (29:56):
It kind of morphed uh a New York theater trip into
Christmas.
So we would go to usuallybetween Christmas and New
Year's.
Yeah.
Brett (30:04):
Well, and you have to see New York during Christmas.
It's gonna be beautiful, right?
It's very beautiful, it's veryexpensive though.
Oh.
Deborah (30:11):
I always like the idea of going on a trip somewhere uh
uh or a cruise or somethingduring Christmas time, unless
you have children, and I'mtalking about younger than
teenage years.
Um because to me that's whatChristmas is all about, is the
children.
Brett (30:31):
Well you have a uh your grandchild, right?
Deborah (30:34):
Right.
So unfortunately they're not inHouston and traveling is tricky.
Certainly, uh I could go to NewYork or they came here one year
and that was wonderful.
But uh it's uh it's alsodifferent when you are a
non-religious family.
I mean, I celebrate the wintersolstice, but to me Christmas
(30:57):
was really just about being withpeople you care about and want
to be with.
SPEAKER_06 (31:02):
Your chosen family.
Deborah (31:03):
Right, right.
And I I mean I have wonderfulmemories growing up.
There were five children in myfamily.
We weren't always in a aparticularly good financial
situation.
Uh come from a working classfamily.
Uh Christmas was always veryspecial and so many fond
memories.
I remember traveling fromLubbock, Texas, all the way to
(31:27):
Meridian, Mississippi, where mygrandparents lived.
And there would be things thatwe would see every year.
You know, it's like, oh, there'sthat holiday display, or oh,
look at there.
There's there was this one thingwe called it the jumping jack.
And it was like, Oh, there's thehouse with the jumping jack.
And and then just getting to seeyour grandparents and cousins
(31:49):
and things.
That's what made it fun.
That's what made it joyful.
Brett (31:52):
As a kid, I definitely felt that.
But I think as an adult, as Icame out, I I think it changed,
it shifted quite a bit.
How did that change, Brett?
Well, my father was somewhatunaccepting of my relationship
with Lee for a while, and so I Idrew a hard line and I said,
Hey, I'm not gonna spendChristmas with you because I'm
gonna spend Christmas with Lee.
(32:14):
So we can meet on another day oranother time or whatever, but
we're not gonna see each otheron the actual holiday.
And I think that that kind ofset in motion a couple of things
in my family where they had toget okay with it.
And I think it was really myhalf-brother and my half-sister
that really kind of pushed thatenvelope too and said, Hey, we
don't want to miss holidays withBrett just because of this one
(32:34):
issue.
But that was definitely a bigthing.
And now it's um and now it'sit's better.
And we definitely see them overthe holidays.
And I think that they like Leebetter than they like me, to be
honest.
SPEAKER_06 (32:44):
Well, Lee brings the family pedigree, I think.
Brett (32:46):
Well, Lee's family is very different.
Lee (32:48):
Yeah, yeah.
Although the stories are notdissimilar.
So growing up as a kid, youknow, my Christmases were all
good.
So for me, it was one of myfavorite times of the year, no
matter what.
But there was a transitionperiod once I came out.
The first year that I moved fromuh Minnesota to Louisiana, uh, I
had a boyfriend.
And I don't remember asking ifhe could come.
(33:08):
It was probably more anannouncement that he was coming
with me.
Uh so we went and stayed for aweek.
Uh, and after I got back, I gota letter from my parents saying,
you know, you're welcome to comehome anytime you want to, but
please don't bring your friendsanymore.
Uh friends.
So that kind of said about an18-month period where uh I just
didn't talk to him.
I thought, if you don't want tobe part of all my life, you
don't get to be part of any ofit.
(33:30):
And then after that, uh, I gotanother letter from them that
kind of stated the opposite.
You know, we want to see you, wewant to be part of your life.
So bring whoever you want to.
So that kind of put a period onthat, on that little episode.
But yeah, and so after that, itwas great.
For many years, our family gottogether at the holidays after
that.
So um, it was happy again.
(33:50):
Was it a little house on theprairie that you gathered at?
Kind of was.
I was raised in a farm out onthe Minnesota prairies, yes.
Brett (33:56):
We should also mention that Lee is a member of the
Ingalls family.
SPEAKER_06 (33:59):
The Ingles family is the same.
Lee (34:01):
Yeah.
Deborah (34:02):
I imagine you had some white Christmases.
Lee (34:04):
Totally.
It wasn't Christmas if it didn'tsnow.
And and on more occasions thannot, it did snow either on
Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.
SPEAKER_06 (34:12):
So it was what what is this word you're using?
Snow?
What does this I've heard oflike solid water coming from the
sky, but you know, I don't hmm.
That's that's new to me.
Lee (34:22):
Of course.
The first way to appreciate snowis in a photograph.
Deborah (34:25):
I like to be with the hot cocoa and and bundled up and
watching it, looking out thewindow and seeing it.
It can be very beautiful, butthe aftermath of a snowfall is a
mess.
And uh that's one reason I don'tlike it.
That's why you live in thenorth.
Yeah, that's one of the reasonsI live in Houston.
Brett (34:45):
Yeah.
Yeah, we rarely have a whiteChristmas.
It only snows in the hobbycenter, according to Dan
Connectus of Tuts.
Deborah (34:52):
I th I think they have snow at the alley this year for
the Christmas carol.
Yeah.
And you know what?
To me, right there, it's likeit's not Christmas unless you go
to the alley and see a Christmascarol.
I've kind of gotten away fromthat because I've seen it so
often, but you you don't gettired of it.
I mean you can see it again andagain.
SPEAKER_06 (35:13):
I have a similar tradition, except it's the Radio
City Christmas spectacular.
If I don't see that, then it'snot Christmas.
Brett (35:19):
Yeah, it's a great show.
Yeah, well, there you go.
But I mean, definitely here inHouston, we we've developed new
traditions just around ourfriends.
I think that in chosen family, Ithink that that's a really
strong thing that I see in ourcommunity a lot is you really do
develop that.
Uh, whether it be, you know,your chosen family, Brian, going
up to New York to see shows oryou know, our our friends around
(35:42):
here.
I know that uh one of ourfriends that passed away a
couple of years ago used to haveChristmas every day.
I mean, uh every Christmas daywe went to his house.
So it's been kind of weird.
We're having to re-establish ourtraditions for that.
SPEAKER_06 (35:54):
Which friend was that?
Brett (35:55):
Oh, that was Bob Britdick, of course.
Oh, yeah.
I mean Bob.
SPEAKER_06 (35:59):
Open house, yeah.
Who was Bob Britdick, in caseour listeners don't know?
Lee (36:03):
Bob Britdick was kind of uh um an icon in the in the gay
community.
He wasn't as present as somepeople are, but I mean He was
kind of behind the scenes, Ithink.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Most people knew who he was, anduh a lot of times entire circles
of friends became friendsbecause of introductions that
came from Bob Britt.
(36:23):
So very social.
He was one of those people thatbackfilled his friends' uh group
constantly.
So it was always thisinteresting mix of older, uh
middle-aged and younger people.
I noticed that.
Yeah, and he absolutely was wasquite quite uh a big deal.
Brett (36:41):
And he really was a hub for the community.
I think that that's what he did,and I think that that's what his
legacy is.
He had these big gatherings forthe holidays because he knew it
was hard, and it was all aboutchosen family for him.
And I think that that's whatwe've developed is that kind of
idea of that new tradition ofbeing around people that kind of
affirm us.
Deborah (37:00):
He was a lovely person.
I was really privileged to knowhim for a short time.
Um I remember one of the lasttimes I saw him was we were just
about to go back into a COVIDlockdown.
It was after Law Harrington hadhad opened, and uh Bob would
come over and we would workjigsaw puzzles together.
(37:21):
Oh, nice.
Oh and one day we were putting ajigsaw game together, and the
next day we get the notice,okay, everything's shutting down
again.
So that was the last chance Igot to spend time with him.
But but I think what he did wasreally lovely, and I think that
that's a a great thing ifthere's someone who can pull
(37:42):
together a a gathering and havespecial times with people.
I think a lot of people probablyspend time with their families,
their families of origin, andthen they make that separate
time to be with their friends.
SPEAKER_06 (37:56):
I think that's especially true in the gay
community where we're sometimeswe don't have families to go to.
They've cut us out of theirlives, or in my case, my parents
have passed away, so I kind ofcreated my own family family
holiday traditions with David.
Deborah (38:10):
Right.
And when you have a spouse, youdo get kind of sucked into
whatever traditions come fromtheir families.
And you know, if you can blendstuff, I know Lee is like the
king of Christmas.
SPEAKER_06 (38:23):
The king or queen.
King or queen of Christmas.
Deborah (38:27):
A Royal Highness.
Lee, where does your passion forChristmas come from?
Lee (38:32):
It comes from my mother and grandmother.
They weren't as quite as overthe top with it as I was, but it
was they were all about theholidays and getting the tree
up, making sure that everythingwas just perfect and right, and
um, you know, the meal timearound uh the holidays was
extremely important.
My mother used to do an earlyafternoon or midday finger foods
(38:54):
uh set up for everybody toenjoy.
And then the dinner would belater in the afternoon, and it
was the one and only time thatthey would have us kids drink
wine, and it was Mogan David.
Um, it looked like grape juice,and for me it just tasted
horrible.
I don't know why they wanted usto drink that, but inclusion in
the festivities.
We all had to toast, yes.
Brett (39:14):
It's not Christmas unless the kids are drinking wine.
Why wasn't I in that family?
Deborah (39:19):
Well, one thing that we did sometimes as kids, and
then in later years as an adult,I did it a few times, which is
to go to a movie on ChristmasDay.
SPEAKER_06 (39:30):
That's a good that's a good idea.
Brett (39:32):
I like that.
Well, are there any favoritemovies that you have from like
Christmas?
Deborah (39:37):
Well, I have this one memory, and uh the movie was
North to Alaska starring JohnWayne.
Wow.
And the reason this reallysticks out to me is as far as I
can remember, that pretty muchwas it.
The the five kids of us, youknow, got to go to a movie.
(39:57):
That was our Christmas thatyear.
But most Christmases were notthat b I mean, it's funny 'cause
I don't think of it as a badthing at all because we really
enjoyed it.
We were happy.
And maybe it was just because wewere together and there was good
food and you know.
I think my father was workingout of town and so it was just
(40:18):
mom and the kids, right?
So we probably were a littlemore relaxed as well about
having time like that just withthe children and mother rather
than um that you know, I thinkthis is something that happens
with people and it's thesupposed to's and the have to's.
(40:40):
At the holiday time people getso stressed out because I have
to do this and I have to do thatand I'm supposed to do this and
this has to be this and such away.
And you save yourself a lot ofstress if you just let that go.
There's there's no sense of it.
Do what you can, do a smallthing, do what you most want to
(41:00):
do, be with the people you mostwant to be with.
Because life is too short andthe times are too stressful.
So, you know, that's one way ofbeing in community and and being
there for one another.
Of course, there's volunteeropportunities around town going
on as well, and that's anothergood way to get involved.
Brett (41:22):
Yeah, no, definitely.
Yes.
About everything.
I it always is the answer to mewhen I was single and I kind of
was not having the best holidaysif I if I volunteered somewhere,
I just immediately was gratefulfor everything I had.
And it really felt like aholiday.
SPEAKER_06 (41:42):
So we Deb told us that her favorite Christmas
movie is North to Alaska.
Brad and Lee, what are what areyours?
Brett (41:49):
Well, I was actually trying to get at what do you
watch every year?
What did you watch growing up?
I think that we were talkingabout that the other day, and
Lee had an interesting answer,but I want to hear, like, Brian,
what did you watch every yearwhen you were growing up?
SPEAKER_06 (42:02):
How the Grinch store stole Christmas.
Yeah.
That's a good one.
Of a certain age that that'swhat was on TV every year.
Of course, I like the songs fromthe the show.
We happened to see it the othernight.
Deborah (42:14):
Yeah, uh Frosty the Snowman, uh the Charlie Brown
Christmas Sprint, Special.
Exactly.
Lee (42:23):
Yeah.
Yeah.
One thing that we used to do, orthe very first memory that I had
of the Christmas and watchingsomething on TV, I was actually
in kindergarten.
Uh, and you if you know, uh myfamily moved around almost every
year.
So it was easy for me to picturewhere we were in what house when
something happened, and thatkind of gives me the age I was
at that time.
Um so that's kind of how I gotto the point that I was in
(42:45):
kindergarten.
We were sitting there andwatching TV, and The Wizard of
Oz came on, which is not aChristmas show at all.
But in my childhood, every yearthey would play The Wizard of Oz
somewhere around the holidays.
So the first time I saw it, Iwas just mesmerized.
And of course, I'm from a verylarge family.
Um and I think it's the firsttime I remember being able to
(43:06):
tune everything else going on inthe world out and just totally
focus on uh what was happeningon the TV, never making a
connection between Judy Garlandand and me at that point.
Um but yeah, so that became afavorite childhood movie, and
every year after that, we wouldsearch the TV guides when they
came out to see when was itgoing to play and make sure we
(43:28):
were sitting there because ifyou didn't watch it when it was
broadcast, you missed italtogether.
At least for that year.
Those were the days.
Yes.
Deborah (43:37):
It's available on the Turner Classic movies.
Or if you have HBO Max, you canget it through that.
And you're right, it's not a aChristmas movie, but it I think
it's a movie that probablytouched all of us uh profoundly.
Lee (43:52):
Yes, yeah, for sure.
Deborah (43:54):
And I always wondered why.
SPEAKER_06 (43:55):
Why The Wizard of Oz?
It's different portions of therainbow coming together to fight
the common enemy.
Deborah (44:01):
There's probably lots of scholarly work that has been
done to to express that, but itwas just somehow it touched us.
And it was somewhere over therainbow.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Now, Ryan, just to clarify,North to Alaska was a movie I
saw on Christmas.
It's not my favorite Christmasmovie.
SPEAKER_06 (44:23):
Deb, please pray, tell what is your favorite
Christmas movie?
Deborah (44:26):
I love Elf.
SPEAKER_06 (44:28):
Elf, that's a modern one.
Deborah (44:30):
Yeah, I will watch that.
There's uh one you know, it thename of it escapes me.
I think it was from two yearsago, and Fasilla Rashad is in
it.
God, what is the n name of thatmovie?
Anyway, it's it's a delightfulmovie that was on um started a
couple of years ago, and so I Ithought that it was a good one
(44:51):
to add to the the holidayrepertoire.
I'll just check the magic Googlemachine.
Brett (44:57):
You know, I always love and I'm weird.
I like the anti-Christmas movieslike I Love Tim Burton, like
Nightmare Before Christmas andBatman Returns.
Those are two of my favoriteChristmas movies.
Exactly.
But it is a Christmas moviebecause he takes over Christmas.
So there you are.
SPEAKER_06 (45:13):
So I'm gonna argue that my favorite Christmas movie
is Love Actually, and I'm gonnaargue that that is a Christmas
movie.
Okay, I can stand behind it.
It's one of the best Christmasmovies in my opinion.
What is Love Actually?
Deborah (45:25):
Oh yeah.
That's become a classic.
SPEAKER_06 (45:28):
I love that movie.
Deborah (45:29):
Yeah, so the the movie's called Jingle Jangle, A
Christmas Journey in 2020.
And so that's very enjoyable.
And then of course a Christmasstory.
I mean, we we we we have suchthe the classics, the white
Christmas and the the awonderful life.
I mean, uh almost everyone Iknow will watch a wonder
(45:50):
wonderful life.
Although when you're watchingit, sometimes you think, God,
this is sad.
SPEAKER_06 (45:56):
It really is.
Brett (45:57):
It's very dark.
SPEAKER_06 (45:58):
Yeah, it's so okay.
So we talked about movies.
What about your favoriteChristmas song?
Lee (46:02):
Oh that's tough.
I'm sorry, was there another oneafter Mariah Carey's?
Play me another song.
What's it called?
I mean you didn't play aChristmas song.
Yes.
That's a recent one.
SPEAKER_06 (46:14):
It was okay.
Deborah (46:15):
But this is the important thing, is is think
about what the holiday means toyou and what the best ways to
express that are.
Um when it comes to gift giving,you know, most adults have what
they need.
I mean, I I don't know howpeople decide what to buy other
people and I take some money andspend it on you, and you take
(46:37):
some money and spend it on me,and that just doesn't I don't
know, that's just not my jam.
But you know, give somebody athe PBS passport, give someone
uh donate to queer voices intheir name.
I like that one.
Uh buy 'em a ticket to a play oreven a a season of of theater.
(46:58):
Make a donation to the manil.
I mean, there's so many placesthat you can go and you can
still honor someone and give itin the spirit of gift, but it's
not just something that's gonnabe opened up, create a bunch of
trash.
(47:19):
A lot of things just end up inthe landfill.
Yeah.
You know.
People people do have often muchmore than they think, much more
than they need.
Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_06 (47:28):
Americans have way more than we need.
Deborah (47:30):
And you know, remember to thank people.
People that have helped you outthrough the year, or just that
you want to remember uh uh maybepeople that did you a kindness
and you can just you know,little thank yous.
Um it it's a real treat just toget flowers or uh uh something
(47:52):
like uh this is somethingchildren can do, especially they
can make a little book of uhcoupons and say, uh, you know,
this is good for one, three,whatever chore, right?
And so you know, you don't haveto spend a lot of money, you
don't have to be a lot of flashbecause at in the end of the day
(48:13):
what matters, what you're gonnaremember is that essence of
being in family and being safeand being joyful because that's
what we try to create during theholidays.
And so I think that should beyour guide.
Lee (48:28):
Just as Yeah, we kind of changed our gift giving a couple
of years ago and decided themost the best thing in our life
was our time together and thethe experiences, the events that
we participate in.
So our gifts usually are aroundaround that.
But then we also have this yearwas our 46th annual uh holiday
party, and the holiday party forme has was Oh, I'm so sad I
(48:49):
missed that.
Yeah, bring people in that werepart of our lives over the
previous year and 46 years?
SPEAKER_06 (48:55):
That's a long time.
Lee (48:58):
Forty six years he's been having this party.
Forty-six years, that's what I'msaying.
unknown (49:02):
Yeah.
Lee (49:02):
So and it gives an opportunity to to uh thank those
people that were part of ourlife during that year and and
and kind of put a period on theyear.
Thank them.
Yes.
So to Deborah's point, yes, thatis those are the most important
things and the most meaningfulthings.
Brett (49:17):
Well again, we circle back to chosen family.
Yeah.
So there you are.
Deborah (49:21):
Well, all of you are part of my chosen family.
And I've enjoyed talking aboutour holiday memories with you
and whatever your plans are,just be safe and and stay strong
because we need each other.
We got a new year coming up andwe're gonna be facing lots of
challenges and it's good to knowthat folks like Ryan and Lee and
(49:45):
Brett and the rest of the QueerVoices folks are gonna be around
doing what we can.
Brett (49:51):
If you want to get us a present, you can go to KPFT.org
and donate and make sure thatyou put Queer Voices as your
show that you're donating to.
SPEAKER_06 (49:59):
We would very much appreciate that.
Brett (50:02):
Yes.
Or buy a brick.
They're doing a brick campaign,which I think is really cool.
They you get your name on aroundthe station.
Deborah (50:11):
Yeah, if you become a sustaining member, your name is
engraved on a brick that's usedin the papers at K the KPFT
studio.
And if you want to know moreabout that, go to KPFT.org.
Brett (50:23):
Yeah, it's pretty easy to find out about.
And it's definitely a good giftfor the holidays if you want to
like memorialize somebody oranything like that.
But I definitely think there's alot of opportunities to do
charity and do that in people'snames.
I know Tony's place takesdonations as well.
I I try to get my clothes tothem since I I did a recent
interview with them, and theymentioned that they have a
closet for people that arehomeless teens that they get to
(50:46):
pick whatever clothes they want,regardless of gender preferences
or anything like that.
They will let them pick fromthis closet of donations.
SPEAKER_06 (50:53):
That is that is such a good organization after.
Brett (50:56):
Yeah, and such a a sweet way to honor Tony Carroll.
Another person that I thinkabout at Christmas time.
I don't know why.
He just seems to be the spiritof giving.
Who was Tony Carroll?
Tony Carroll was a counselor,psychologist, just all of these
different things.
But in our community, he washuge.
And of course, he was married tothe dentist Bruce Smith, and
they they had a lot of mentaland gentle.
(51:17):
Yes, mental and gentle.
Shrink your head and fill yourteeth.
Yes.
Deborah (51:21):
Unfortunately, and of course it was uh Tony, Tony was
the guiding force behind thecreation of Tony's place because
he realized that there was aneed for providing services to
the people that are sometimes uhfaced with being unhoused and
especially the younger people.
SPEAKER_06 (51:41):
And I love me some Carrie Ray from Tony's Place.
Deborah (51:44):
Yes, indeed.
SPEAKER_06 (51:45):
Oh yes, definitely.
Deborah (51:46):
Our community is just full of so many amazing people
and it really is.
I just like I can't believe thepeople that I know.
They're so interesting.
SPEAKER_06 (51:55):
Do we take this for granted living here in Houston?
The quality of the people are sogreat.
Do we just 'cause maybe thisisn't the same everywhere else,
and what do people do?
Deborah (52:04):
Well, I I think we do tend to take it for granted
because especially like when youstart off and you come out and
you first started gettinginvolved in the community and
you don't realize like everyperson you meet is a hero or a
shiro.
SPEAKER_06 (52:20):
I know.
Deborah (52:21):
There w the we're we're all fighting the good
fight.
We're we're all trying to makethings better.
And you know, when we unite,that's what we do.
SPEAKER_06 (52:31):
So all colours of the rainbow coming together.
Deborah (52:34):
Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_06 (52:36):
That's what we can whisper for Christmas.
Brett (52:38):
Is that we all do that and recognize each other for
that.
SPEAKER_06 (52:41):
God blesses everyone.
Deborah (52:42):
And with that, I think we should say ado.
SPEAKER_06 (52:46):
Thank you, R Lee, Brett, and Deb for putting up
with all my stuff for this lastyear.
Deborah (52:51):
What does that mean?
Well, we'll talk to you aboutthat at your next review.
Lee (52:56):
Sounds familiar.
SPEAKER_06 (52:57):
I just had my annual review at work.
Lee (52:58):
Oh, love those.
Well, appreciate all of you andeverything that you've done.
You talk about remarkablepeople, and I certainly count
you among the top in ourcommunity.
So it's my pleasure to know eachof you and spend time with you.
Thank you, sir.
SPEAKER_00 (53:11):
Oh shit.org.
This radio program, Clear Voices, has existed since
the 1970s on KPFT.
We have this little crew offolks working every week to
produce what's no longer uniquebecause we're almost mainstream
now, but we're still animportant voice that might not
(00:30):
otherwise get heard because it'snot on that many places.
So KPFT is very important togive voices to those who might
not otherwise have voices.
So as Glenn always says, youparticipate by listening, you
should also participate bysupporting the station.
(00:53):
So please go to KPFT.org andmake your donation right away.
SPEAKER_04 (01:12):
Come on, get happy.
I hear again.
Brett (03:41):
So, first up, we talk to Tammy Wallace about the Greater
Houston LGBTQ Plus Chamber ofCommerce and how you can find
businesses friendly to thecommunity to do your holiday
shopping, or really for anyother need you may have.
Then we have a round tablediscussion with Deborah Moncrief
Bell, Brian Llovinka, and authorR.
Lee Ingalls joining me to talkabout holidays and traditions
(04:05):
that we observe as part of thecommunity.
Also sprinkled here and there,there will be holiday music to
get you in the mood.
Career Voices starts now.
Hi, this is Brett Cullum, andtoday I am joined by Tammy
Wallace of the Greater HoustonLGBTQ Plus Chamber of Commerce.
I wanted to get her advice onholiday shopping in our
(04:26):
community and talk about somechamber events and plans for the
new year.
So happy holidays, or ratherhappy holidays, as I am prone to
say, just to annoy my Republicanparents.
Welcome to Queer Voices again,Tammy.
Nice to see you again.
SPEAKER_08 (04:40):
Nice to see you, Brett.
Okay, you're starting off thisinterview.
So great.
I love it.
Brett (04:45):
I know.
I'm I'm incorrigible.
But uh we did a segment uh awhile back about doing research
for companies to find out who isLGBTQIA plus supportive a couple
of weeks ago.
I wanted to ask you how you dothat.
SPEAKER_08 (04:58):
Yeah, so um, so we, you know, we have our membership
base.
We have about 560 plus membersat the timber, and um we have
our directory online wherepeople can go and find LGBTQ
plus supportive and inclusivebusinesses to do their holiday
shopping.
And you know, you've heard mesay this so many times, but we
are promoting, you know,supporting LGBTQ-owned and
(05:21):
allied-owned businesses, notjust during the holidays, but
all throughout the year so wecan drive economic empowerment
for the community.
Brett (05:28):
Well, I've been looking at this directory, it's amazing.
It is just uhbusiness.houstonlgbt chamber.com
member directory after a forwardslash there.
But you've got every categoryand you can basically just put
in like the area of town you'rein, or if you're not even in
Houston, you can put in anotherarea or something.
I mean, it's amazing.
Yeah.
(05:48):
And how did you guys collect allof this?
I mean, it's just yourmembership, or is it also the I
know that you have someaffiliation with the national
chamber as well.
SPEAKER_08 (05:55):
So this is just our local regional membership that
you're going to see.
But some of our members, I mean,we have a member as far as
Schuleberg, if you can imagine.
Yeah.
Um, because people want to beconnected, connected with the
chamber.
And it is, it's such a robot,robust research tool.
This is one of the reasons wetell businesses, engage with the
chamber because we're activelyworking on campaigns to push
(06:18):
people to that directory.
And and particularly these days,you know, wanting people are
trying to be more intentionalabout how they spend their
dollars, and that directory justbecomes an incredible,
incredible resources.
But that's just one of the hugebenefits for businesses to be
part of the chamber.
And look, it's not justbusinesses.
If you're looking for anonprofit, you want to support
(06:39):
during the holidays, if you'regiving, we have about 55 of
those uh in um in the directory,uh, along with, you know, other
types of organizations.
Brett (06:49):
Well, you know, giving this year is a big thing because
a lot of people lost theirfederal funding or their grants.
So I I really encourage that.
I mean, I really am looking forprograms that I can support that
are part of our community that Ican feel good about contributing
to.
I mean, obviously we've wetalked about the Salvation Army.
Um cross-purpose with with us atsome points, but and now I can
(07:15):
find like another organizationthat I can feel better about
doing.
SPEAKER_08 (07:18):
Well, and think about that.
Yes.
I mean, and then again, beingintentional with supporting
nonprofits, right?
That support our community.
And that goes for not just LGBTQplus led or focused nonprofits,
but mainstream nonprofits thatare have a commitment to the
community, which you'll find,find in our directories.
So maybe, you know, there's uhuh Emancipat, for example, is
(07:40):
one of our nonprofit members.
So if you're helping Emancipate.
Oh, Emancipators.
Okay, yes, so they help, youknow, uh shelter dogs and
adoptions and all of that.
Mainstream organization that umnonprofit organization that's
part of the chamber.
And so, you know, you can findall kinds of resources in the
(08:02):
chamber directory, but that'sjust one example of a nonprofit
member that's not LGBTQ focused,but you know, supporting the
community.
Brett (08:10):
Oh, don't tell me this, Tammy.
I don't have a dog right now.
Oh my spouse is gonna kill youbecause I'm gonna look up my man
so fast and be like, Yeah,they're they're gonna do it for
the holiday.
SPEAKER_08 (08:20):
They're amazing folks.
Join uh join this this year.
And that's you know, that's whatwe're doing in this LGBTQ, what
we call ecosystem, right?
Is helping to lift up uh LGBTQowned businesses by nonprofits,
large companies, their ERGgroups, et cetera, all through
connection, connection withcommunity, and ultimately to
(08:41):
drive this economy, an inclusiveeconomy where everyone belongs.
That's the work we're doing 365days a year.
Brett (08:48):
Now, recently I talked about the hub certification,
which has recently changedsignificantly.
I mean dramatically crazy.
And uh they mentioned thatHouston does have an LGBTQ list
in the city of Houston.
Is that am I getting that right?
What is that?
SPEAKER_08 (09:04):
Yeah, so um, so there is a certification for
LGBTQ owned businesses.
If you're 51% or more on uh moreowned, you can qualify.
And it's um what we call LGBTBEor business enterprise
certification.
The third-party certifying bodyis the national LGBTQ and allied
chamber of commerce.
So we're an affiliate completelystandalone, but we work with
(09:27):
them to get businesses LGBTBEcertified.
So what Julie, your your priorguest, would have shared.
So I worked with Mayor Turner anumber of years ago to get that
certification recognized at thecity of Houston.
He signed an executive order.
It was historic, making Houstonthe first city in the state to
recognize LGBTBE certifiedbusinesses.
(09:50):
And so you can go to the city'sdirectory and find a list of
those certified businesses.
Brett (09:56):
Yeah.
So and if a business wants to beon that list, they could come to
you as a resource and to thechamber to get that kind of
certification.
SPEAKER_08 (10:04):
And the great thing is part of our partnership with
uh the NGLCC is the acronym thatthey have historically used, the
National Chamber.
Um, if you're a member of ourchamber, the eight nine it's an
$8.99 certification fee, that'scompletely waived.
So you get that immediately,right, as part of your member
benefits, but then all of thelocal and regional benefits that
(10:24):
we offer our members.
It's a real, it's a realwin-win.
Brett (10:28):
Yeah, and it's so important right now.
I mean, I really do try.
Uh I I was talking about how Leeand I always try to shop.
Yeah.
Businesses that we know areowned by local community.
We we definitely like run up anddown 18th Street and look for
the people that are supportingcommunity.
SPEAKER_08 (10:48):
You know, I think I think I hear you say that, and I
know you guys are just so sosupportive and intentional,
right?
With your spending.
And I know, you know, I've knownknown you guys for years and
this just group of friends, thiscore group of friends that you
have.
So I think about if every one ofthat core group of just your
friends are doing thatintentionally, imagine the
(11:09):
impact of that if you were toquantify that.
Amazing remarkable.
Yeah.
Brett (11:13):
Yeah.
No, I always try to keep mydollars in the community as much
as I possibly can.
And it's it's one of thosethings.
It's it's it's what we do.
And I think as a group,sometimes we're not as good at
doing it as other groups are atdoing it.
And maybe it's because it'sharder to know for sure.
But I do see a lot of businesseshave the little decals that you
guys put out that says member ofthe chamber.
(11:35):
So that helps a lot when I seethat on their door.
I'm like, oh, I got safe care.
SPEAKER_08 (11:40):
And we and exactly, we love that.
And that's that's truly, youknow, we want to grow this
initiative because you'reexactly right.
We have not been as intentionalas a community.
Just it's just building theawareness and getting people to
think about intentionallyspending their dollars with
LGBTQ and allied-on businesses.
And then when you when peoplehear that, we've done this with,
(12:02):
for example, some of our largeemployers, chamber members,
partners, their employeeresource groups.
We tell them during Pride Month,you need t-shirts, buy from an
LGBTQ owned business, right?
You need cookies, buy from, youknow, and it's the awareness,
and they're like, wow, we can dothat.
I can't even tell you how muchso many of our members have
benefited just from that, withthose employee resource groups
(12:23):
filling in June.
We're buying from an LGBTQ ownedbusiness, intentional spending.
So we're gonna expand, right,this campaign to raise the
awareness of the community.
And if we can do that, theimpact will be exponential.
I mean, we'll it'd just beremarkable.
Brett (12:38):
Okay, so one more time, we've got the Houston LGBT
chamber.com is your thing.
And then you can get to thedirectory, you can look at stuff
like that, you can do holidayshopping there, definitely like
figure out, but also any,honestly, anything.
I mean, there's like divisionsfor agriculture, fishing, and
forestry.
Literally, yeah.
Some t shirts.
SPEAKER_08 (12:58):
I mean, I mean it just goes to show we're we're
everywhere, we're everyone,which is the beauty of our
community.
Brett (13:04):
Yeah, and I'm I'm definitely gonna dive into this
health and wellness one becausethat's something that's close to
my heart.
And I definitely am looking fora couple of new providers.
So I'll be on this directoryright after when we finish
talking.
SPEAKER_08 (13:15):
But okay, so that's and we want to grow this
directory, right?
We want even more options forour members, particularly like
you know, if you're out inKatie, we want those businesses
joining.
Because if you're, you know,doing business, you live in
Katie, you want to findinclusive businesses or Cyprus,
or you know, because we are aregional China, right?
So we're gonna keep growing it.
Brett (13:33):
And it's wild because for so long we just looked at
Montrose as our community, butnow that has just become so
gentrified, and we have expandedout.
And I can't tell you how manypeople I know that live in Katie
or way out and that live inSchulenberg, you know, that kind
of thing.
And you're just like, wow, weare just everywhere now.
And that's another thing thatmakes it hard to find the
(13:55):
businesses that are therebecause in, you know, a lot of
it, let's be honest, a lot ofthe businesses in in those areas
are chains and they're ones thathave kind of weird politics.
I'd rather support somebodylocal and I'd rather have
somebody in my community.
SPEAKER_08 (14:07):
And I and I will say this is just the kind of the
flip side, but we do havebusinesses that have approached
us from Katie or Cyprus or, youknow, Richmond, whatever.
And uh they want to join thechamber, but they're they're
scared.
They're fearful that, you know,of being outed.
And so these are the how, youknow, we often say that members
come to us when they're ready.
(14:28):
I had a gentleman talk to us atour holiday celebration last
night.
He's like, I haven't joined yet.
I'm just kind of coming out.
And I said, We're here whenyou're ready.
Brett (14:37):
Yeah.
Well, it's hard because it is,it's taking a stance.
And it's definitely in thispolitical climate, it's a little
bit wild.
And speaking of this politicalclimate, holidays, all of that,
tell me a little bit about whatyou all have coming up for 2026.
Are there big events?
Are there what am I gonna lookfor?
SPEAKER_08 (14:53):
Yeah, let me tell you how excited we are about
2026 because the chamber isgonna be celebrating its 10-year
anniversary.
No way.
Yes, can you believe 10 years ofcreating, you know, economic
impact in the region?
And so you're gonna be seeingall kinds of uh the community is
gonna be seeing all kinds ofupdates, events we're gonna be
(15:14):
celebrating all year long toactually today are save the day
for our big pride and businesscelebration.
That's our luncheon and afterparty.
Epic, epic Pride Month event,the largest luncheon in the
LGBTQ plus community.
And it is gonna be uh on June12th.
We're gonna have well over athousand people joining us.
Brett (15:33):
My gosh.
SPEAKER_08 (15:34):
Yes.
So we're gonna lunch for athousand people.
We do that at the HiltonAmericas, our wonderful,
wonderful partners who havehosted us the last couple of
years.
And in fact, it's grown so much,we're gonna be moving up to the
fourth floor ballroom at theHilton Americas, which is gonna
give us so much morepre-function and after party
space.
So we're gonna be adding an exposo our businesses can table.
(15:56):
It is gonna be an amazing,amazing party.
Celebration, we give away 11Pride and Business Awards.
So, and that's in June, but backup, I mean, we're starting the
year off, kicking off with, youknow, all of our monthly events
starting in January.
In fact, the district attorneywill be our special guest for
our third Thursday breakfast inJanuary.
And February is the anniversarymonth.
(16:17):
So we're gonna do a biganniversary party and then just
celebrating all throughout theyear.
We've got some fun thingsattached.
We're gonna do something withHouston Asia Town Tours, one of
our members, uh, Kathy Podell.
She does tours over, you know,in in uh Asia Town.
And we're gonna go to an AsianAmerican owned business.
(16:39):
There's some great fun things.
I mean, with that, it's justgonna be a spectacular year.
Brett (16:44):
I hate talking to you because now I want to take a
tour of Asia Town with thiscompany.
She's amazing.
Yeah, I'm gonna have a dog andI'm gonna have a tour of Asia
Town.
And we're gonna be like, wheredid you get all this?
SPEAKER_07 (16:55):
We gotta get the third one in here somewhere.
I mean, yeah, yes, we gotta getthe third one in here.
Yes.
Brett (17:00):
Oh my gosh, yes, you were getting me in so much trouble,
but I love it.
Um definitely I I can't believethat you are 10 years old this
year.
So you were founded in 2015.
SPEAKER_08 (17:09):
16.
2016, that's right.
Brett (17:11):
Because we're going into 2026.
SPEAKER_08 (17:12):
Yeah, 2016.
But think about that, and thisis the one thing we talk about
when we talk about the historyof the chamber.
Think about what happened in2016.
That was the first Trumpelection, right?
Yeah.
In 2017, Hurricane Harvey.
And then we had the Texasfreeze, and then we celebrated
our fifth anniversary during thepandemic.
Uh, and barrel, and you know, Icould just keep going on and on.
(17:34):
And so we often say thatresilience is literally in the
DNA of the chamber.
And it's because every yearwe've had incredible challenges.
But we keep going, we keepmoving, and we do that because
our community needs us, right?
Our community, our businesses,we have to succeed.
So 10 years will be acelebration of the past, where
(17:56):
we're at now, but also wherewe're going.
And and part of that past isthis resilience that we've been
able to build, which just quitefrankly mirrors the resilience
of our community.
Brett (18:06):
Absolutely.
And right now, resilience iseverything.
But it has been.
It's it's always been.
I mean, I th I thought back to Iknow you you all did a big thing
for World AIDS Day, and I I yeahthat day was very somber for me,
and I remembered all of that,and I thought, my gosh.
And of course Lee wrote this bighuge tribute to you know all of
that.
And I just I don't know, it'sit's so much a part of our
(18:29):
community.
And and what I love about thechamber is your events are so
much fun and they're not tooserious.
You know what I mean?
Like sometimes you go tosomething and it's just like, oh
my gosh, this is politics orthis is you know, exactly
something very somber and likeoh let's remember these but we
really celebrate at the chamber.
I think that that's uh the nicepart.
SPEAKER_08 (18:49):
I mean we we celebrate community every day of
the year.
And you know, if you come to anevent, it is about hope, right?
Hope's that we are not we'regonna have, you know, we're
connecting now, but we're gonnakeep moving forward.
And this was part of mypost-election day message, you
know, last year.
And we impart that with thisconcept we call radical
hospitality.
And that is when everyone walksthrough our door, it's a place
(19:12):
where they feel like they'rewelcome and that they belong.
And that's needed so much today.
And that radical hospitalitycomes through as hope, as
support, as people being able toengage with community.
And we're literally just kind ofwrapping our arms around the
community and saying, come in,be in community.
We hope, you know, you make somegreat connections, whether
you're own a business or not,nonprofit, whatever that looks
(19:35):
like, we're here to support you.
Brett (19:37):
Well, you know what?
I've been driving all of myother hosts on Queer Voices
Crazy, asking them what givesthem hope.
So I'm gonna ask you, what givesyou hope for 2026?
SPEAKER_08 (19:46):
Um, what gives me hope?
Well, you know, when I uh uhwhen this morning we're all kind
of basking in the glow of ourholiday celebration, we had uh
over four hundred and fiftypeople that, you know, joined us
for that and just Literally thejoy that I saw on the faces of
people connecting.
And that gives me hope that as acommunity, no matter what
happens to us, we're not givingup.
(20:08):
We're staying connected.
We're staying in community.
But also what gives me hope iscelebrating 10 years of the
chamber, you know, chambersanniversary and knowing that
we've got an incredible 10years, 20 years ahead of us for
the work that we have to do.
And that this community has beenso supportive in embracing this
concept of an LGBTQ plus chamberin Houston that gives me hope.
(20:32):
And I have to say, maybe some ofthe uh the election, special
elections on Tuesday might giveme a little hope too.
Oh my gosh.
Brett (20:39):
I'm doing it.
I'm voting on like Saturday, Ithink, because I missed early
voting.
I was too busy.
Yes, yes.
Awesome.
Well, I wanted to ask you, doyou have any uh holiday
traditions with your wife andfamily?
Is there anything that you dospecial every year, just kind of
personally?
SPEAKER_08 (20:51):
You know, um, my wife and I, we've we've had just
quieter uh Christmascelebrations over the last few
years.
And um, that's really just beenabout us being together because
I'm so busy and the work thatI'm doing that I'm running, you
know.
So that's been our tradition tojust stop and uh be together,
(21:12):
not out, you know, we lovefamily, we love friends and all
that, but just spending spendingtime together.
And we've got, you know, we'vegot our little uh what we like
to call our herd, our uh threecats and and two dogs.
So we love you at a fancy pet.
Yes.
All of them are rescues, I will,I will say.
So, but uh you know, but one ofone of my personal traditions is
(21:34):
to uh particularly on Christmasmorning, is just to re and I I
do this on uh New Year's too, isto just be intentional when I
when I get up, get my coffee,and spend the morning uh on an
exercise of just gratitude, whatI'm thankful for.
And I'm you know, I'm incrediblyblessed.
My wife is incredible.
In fact, today's ouranniversary.
(21:56):
Yes, the day we got married,yes, uh, 25th, 10 years.
Brett (22:00):
And you're you're celebrating the chamber at the
same time.
Exactly.
She's been there for this wholecrazy ride.
SPEAKER_08 (22:05):
She has been there for this whole crazy ride.
You know, it's been a lot, Iwill, I will say.
But, you know, just gratitudeand bless because I often tell
our team, how often is it thatyou get to wake up every day and
do the work that we get to dothat moves the needle, moves the
bar for the community, makes adifference, makes an impact, and
is so, so fulfilling.
(22:25):
So I just think about thesethings, and particularly when
the work gets hard, but thoseare that's my gratitude
exercises on Christmas Day andNew Year's.
And New Year's is also about,you know, the looking, looking
forward.
Brett (22:37):
It's nice.
I feel like there's a stillnessto Christmas, and then there's
kind of an excitement of NewYear's when you're going
forward.
So thank you so much.
Uh Tammy Wallace, uh, GreaterHouston LGBTQ plus Chamber of
Commerce, a great place tonetwork, a great place to find
businesses that support ourcommunities.
I'm gonna ask you one last goofyquestion.
Do you have a favorite holidaysong?
(22:58):
Is there one that like youreally like just lights you up
as far as you know it's theholidays when you hear it?
SPEAKER_08 (23:04):
Yeah, uh, you know, uh what's the uh Mariah Carey
song?
Brett (23:07):
I'm All I want for Christmas is year.
SPEAKER_08 (23:09):
Yes, yes, yes.
That one.
But that is just the I mean,it's just the jazziest song,
right?
I mean, how could you not get,you know, like, oh yeah, you
hear it, you know.
We're in the holiday season.
But going back to what you saidabout um stillness, right?
And stillness of the holidays,but and I heard this on a movie
the other night and just broughttears to my eyes, but it it's
(23:30):
silent night.
That one really just it itgrounds me, uh, that particular
song with the holidays.
Brett (23:36):
Yeah, I think we probably just made every retail person
twitch with our imaginativeMariah Carey.
Yeah great song as last it.
She's been the Queen ofChristmas, so we'll we'll give
it to her.
SPEAKER_08 (23:46):
She she has.
Brett (23:47):
Well, maybe we can get her for June 12th for the
tenure.
SPEAKER_08 (23:52):
Wouldn't that be awesome?
Keep an eye out.
We're gonna be, you know,sharing a lot of announcements
coming out.
So and um, Brett, thank you forall you do with Queer Voices at
the Queer Voices group and team.
And you this is such animportant medium for our
community.
People don't even understand howpeople can connect and listen
and connect with community withthem being so sometimes so far
(24:14):
away.
But you all bring it every weekand just grateful to you and
happy holidays to you and Lee.
Brett (24:20):
Well, thank you, and happy holidays to everybody in
the chamber, and actually Leeand I are members, so there you
go.
SPEAKER_08 (24:25):
Yes, you are.
We love it.
Brett (24:26):
Yeah, have a great one.
SPEAKER_08 (24:28):
Thank you.
Brett (28:46):
We've got Brian LaVinka and Deborah Moncrete Bell uh is
with us, and so is author ArlieIngalls.
And of course you're herebecause we live in the same
house.
Right.
So we want to live somewhere.
Sorry.
I'm not going anywhere.
But we wanted to.
Deborah (28:58):
Just to be clear, he is there willingly.
Brett (29:01):
This is true.
Uh, but we wanted to talk aboutthe holidays, which I call the
holidays, just to annoy myRepublican parents.
I'm starting this whole trend.
Oh, I love it.
SPEAKER_06 (29:10):
I love it, I love it.
Brett (29:11):
Yes, and my parents are I mean, they're great.
We get along now, but uh, wedefinitely had some issues
growing up and coming out, and Ihad to really adjust my holiday
traditions around a family.
And I wanted to talk to all ofyou about have you experienced
kind of the same thing when youcame out or as queer or gay or
bi or lesbian?
(29:31):
I mean, what how did that shiftyour family and especially
during this time of year?
SPEAKER_06 (29:35):
So I I came out to my parents in college, and
unfortunately they didn't makeit past they're not alive now,
they're unalive.
So we kind of had to adjust ourChristmas traditions around
that.
And so David and I go to NewYork for Christmas usually to
see Broadway shows, which is apassion of mine.
Brett (29:52):
Yeah, you see every show almost, but that's that's not
your new tradition.
SPEAKER_06 (29:56):
It kind of morphed uh a New York theater trip into
Christmas.
So we would go to usuallybetween Christmas and New
Year's.
Yeah.
Brett (30:04):
Well, and you have to see New York during Christmas.
It's gonna be beautiful, right?
It's very beautiful, it's veryexpensive though.
Oh.
Deborah (30:11):
I always like the idea of going on a trip somewhere uh
uh or a cruise or somethingduring Christmas time, unless
you have children, and I'mtalking about younger than
teenage years.
Um because to me that's whatChristmas is all about, is the
children.
Brett (30:31):
Well you have a uh your grandchild, right?
Deborah (30:34):
Right.
So unfortunately they're not inHouston and traveling is tricky.
Certainly, uh I could go to NewYork or they came here one year
and that was wonderful.
But uh it's uh it's alsodifferent when you are a
non-religious family.
I mean, I celebrate the wintersolstice, but to me Christmas
(30:57):
was really just about being withpeople you care about and want
to be with.
SPEAKER_06 (31:02):
Your chosen family.
Deborah (31:03):
Right, right.
And I I mean I have wonderfulmemories growing up.
There were five children in myfamily.
We weren't always in a aparticularly good financial
situation.
Uh come from a working classfamily.
Uh Christmas was always veryspecial and so many fond
memories.
I remember traveling fromLubbock, Texas, all the way to
(31:27):
Meridian, Mississippi, where mygrandparents lived.
And there would be things thatwe would see every year.
You know, it's like, oh, there'sthat holiday display, or oh,
look at there.
There's there was this one thingwe called it the jumping jack.
And it was like, Oh, there's thehouse with the jumping jack.
And and then just getting to seeyour grandparents and cousins
(31:49):
and things.
That's what made it fun.
That's what made it joyful.
Brett (31:52):
As a kid, I definitely felt that.
But I think as an adult, as Icame out, I I think it changed,
it shifted quite a bit.
How did that change, Brett?
Well, my father was somewhatunaccepting of my relationship
with Lee for a while, and so I Idrew a hard line and I said,
Hey, I'm not gonna spendChristmas with you because I'm
gonna spend Christmas with Lee.
(32:14):
So we can meet on another day oranother time or whatever, but
we're not gonna see each otheron the actual holiday.
And I think that that kind ofset in motion a couple of things
in my family where they had toget okay with it.
And I think it was really myhalf-brother and my half-sister
that really kind of pushed thatenvelope too and said, Hey, we
don't want to miss holidays withBrett just because of this one
(32:34):
issue.
But that was definitely a bigthing.
And now it's um and now it'sit's better.
And we definitely see them overthe holidays.
And I think that they like Leebetter than they like me, to be
honest.
SPEAKER_06 (32:44):
Well, Lee brings the family pedigree, I think.
Brett (32:46):
Well, Lee's family is very different.
Lee (32:48):
Yeah, yeah.
Although the stories are notdissimilar.
So growing up as a kid, youknow, my Christmases were all
good.
So for me, it was one of myfavorite times of the year, no
matter what.
But there was a transitionperiod once I came out.
The first year that I moved fromuh Minnesota to Louisiana, uh, I
had a boyfriend.
And I don't remember asking ifhe could come.
(33:08):
It was probably more anannouncement that he was coming
with me.
Uh so we went and stayed for aweek.
Uh, and after I got back, I gota letter from my parents saying,
you know, you're welcome to comehome anytime you want to, but
please don't bring your friendsanymore.
Uh friends.
So that kind of said about an18-month period where uh I just
didn't talk to him.
I thought, if you don't want tobe part of all my life, you
don't get to be part of any ofit.
(33:30):
And then after that, uh, I gotanother letter from them that
kind of stated the opposite.
You know, we want to see you, wewant to be part of your life.
So bring whoever you want to.
So that kind of put a period onthat, on that little episode.
But yeah, and so after that, itwas great.
For many years, our family gottogether at the holidays after
that.
So um, it was happy again.
(33:50):
Was it a little house on theprairie that you gathered at?
Kind of was.
I was raised in a farm out onthe Minnesota prairies, yes.
Brett (33:56):
We should also mention that Lee is a member of the
Ingalls family.
SPEAKER_06 (33:59):
The Ingles family is the same.
Lee (34:01):
Yeah.
Deborah (34:02):
I imagine you had some white Christmases.
Lee (34:04):
Totally.
It wasn't Christmas if it didn'tsnow.
And and on more occasions thannot, it did snow either on
Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.
SPEAKER_06 (34:12):
So it was what what is this word you're using?
Snow?
What does this I've heard oflike solid water coming from the
sky, but you know, I don't hmm.
That's that's new to me.
Lee (34:22):
Of course.
The first way to appreciate snowis in a photograph.
Deborah (34:25):
I like to be with the hot cocoa and and bundled up and
watching it, looking out thewindow and seeing it.
It can be very beautiful, butthe aftermath of a snowfall is a
mess.
And uh that's one reason I don'tlike it.
That's why you live in thenorth.
Yeah, that's one of the reasonsI live in Houston.
Brett (34:45):
Yeah.
Yeah, we rarely have a whiteChristmas.
It only snows in the hobbycenter, according to Dan
Connectus of Tuts.
Deborah (34:52):
I th I think they have snow at the alley this year for
the Christmas carol.
Yeah.
And you know what?
To me, right there, it's likeit's not Christmas unless you go
to the alley and see a Christmascarol.
I've kind of gotten away fromthat because I've seen it so
often, but you you don't gettired of it.
I mean you can see it again andagain.
SPEAKER_06 (35:13):
I have a similar tradition, except it's the Radio
City Christmas spectacular.
If I don't see that, then it'snot Christmas.
Brett (35:19):
Yeah, it's a great show.
Yeah, well, there you go.
But I mean, definitely here inHouston, we we've developed new
traditions just around ourfriends.
I think that in chosen family, Ithink that that's a really
strong thing that I see in ourcommunity a lot is you really do
develop that.
Uh, whether it be, you know,your chosen family, Brian, going
up to New York to see shows oryou know, our our friends around
(35:42):
here.
I know that uh one of ourfriends that passed away a
couple of years ago used to haveChristmas every day.
I mean, uh every Christmas daywe went to his house.
So it's been kind of weird.
We're having to re-establish ourtraditions for that.
SPEAKER_06 (35:54):
Which friend was that?
Brett (35:55):
Oh, that was Bob Britdick, of course.
Oh, yeah.
I mean Bob.
SPEAKER_06 (35:59):
Open house, yeah.
Who was Bob Britdick, in caseour listeners don't know?
Lee (36:03):
Bob Britdick was kind of uh um an icon in the in the gay
community.
He wasn't as present as somepeople are, but I mean He was
kind of behind the scenes, Ithink.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Most people knew who he was, anduh a lot of times entire circles
of friends became friendsbecause of introductions that
came from Bob Britt.
(36:23):
So very social.
He was one of those people thatbackfilled his friends' uh group
constantly.
So it was always thisinteresting mix of older, uh
middle-aged and younger people.
I noticed that.
Yeah, and he absolutely was wasquite quite uh a big deal.
Brett (36:41):
And he really was a hub for the community.
I think that that's what he did,and I think that that's what his
legacy is.
He had these big gatherings forthe holidays because he knew it
was hard, and it was all aboutchosen family for him.
And I think that that's whatwe've developed is that kind of
idea of that new tradition ofbeing around people that kind of
affirm us.
Deborah (37:00):
He was a lovely person.
I was really privileged to knowhim for a short time.
Um I remember one of the lasttimes I saw him was we were just
about to go back into a COVIDlockdown.
It was after Law Harrington hadhad opened, and uh Bob would
come over and we would workjigsaw puzzles together.
(37:21):
Oh, nice.
Oh and one day we were putting ajigsaw game together, and the
next day we get the notice,okay, everything's shutting down
again.
So that was the last chance Igot to spend time with him.
But but I think what he did wasreally lovely, and I think that
that's a a great thing ifthere's someone who can pull
(37:42):
together a a gathering and havespecial times with people.
I think a lot of people probablyspend time with their families,
their families of origin, andthen they make that separate
time to be with their friends.
SPEAKER_06 (37:56):
I think that's especially true in the gay
community where we're sometimeswe don't have families to go to.
They've cut us out of theirlives, or in my case, my parents
have passed away, so I kind ofcreated my own family family
holiday traditions with David.
Deborah (38:10):
Right.
And when you have a spouse, youdo get kind of sucked into
whatever traditions come fromtheir families.
And you know, if you can blendstuff, I know Lee is like the
king of Christmas.
SPEAKER_06 (38:23):
The king or queen.
King or queen of Christmas.
Deborah (38:27):
A Royal Highness.
Lee, where does your passion forChristmas come from?
Lee (38:32):
It comes from my mother and grandmother.
They weren't as quite as overthe top with it as I was, but it
was they were all about theholidays and getting the tree
up, making sure that everythingwas just perfect and right, and
um, you know, the meal timearound uh the holidays was
extremely important.
My mother used to do an earlyafternoon or midday finger foods
(38:54):
uh set up for everybody toenjoy.
And then the dinner would belater in the afternoon, and it
was the one and only time thatthey would have us kids drink
wine, and it was Mogan David.
Um, it looked like grape juice,and for me it just tasted
horrible.
I don't know why they wanted usto drink that, but inclusion in
the festivities.
We all had to toast, yes.
Brett (39:14):
It's not Christmas unless the kids are drinking wine.
Why wasn't I in that family?
Deborah (39:19):
Well, one thing that we did sometimes as kids, and
then in later years as an adult,I did it a few times, which is
to go to a movie on ChristmasDay.
SPEAKER_06 (39:30):
That's a good that's a good idea.
Brett (39:32):
I like that.
Well, are there any favoritemovies that you have from like
Christmas?
Deborah (39:37):
Well, I have this one memory, and uh the movie was
North to Alaska starring JohnWayne.
Wow.
And the reason this reallysticks out to me is as far as I
can remember, that pretty muchwas it.
The the five kids of us, youknow, got to go to a movie.
(39:57):
That was our Christmas thatyear.
But most Christmases were notthat b I mean, it's funny 'cause
I don't think of it as a badthing at all because we really
enjoyed it.
We were happy.
And maybe it was just because wewere together and there was good
food and you know.
I think my father was workingout of town and so it was just
(40:18):
mom and the kids, right?
So we probably were a littlemore relaxed as well about
having time like that just withthe children and mother rather
than um that you know, I thinkthis is something that happens
with people and it's thesupposed to's and the have to's.
(40:40):
At the holiday time people getso stressed out because I have
to do this and I have to do thatand I'm supposed to do this and
this has to be this and such away.
And you save yourself a lot ofstress if you just let that go.
There's there's no sense of it.
Do what you can, do a smallthing, do what you most want to
(41:00):
do, be with the people you mostwant to be with.
Because life is too short andthe times are too stressful.
So, you know, that's one way ofbeing in community and and being
there for one another.
Of course, there's volunteeropportunities around town going
on as well, and that's anothergood way to get involved.
Brett (41:22):
Yeah, no, definitely.
Yes.
About everything.
I it always is the answer to mewhen I was single and I kind of
was not having the best holidaysif I if I volunteered somewhere,
I just immediately was gratefulfor everything I had.
And it really felt like aholiday.
SPEAKER_06 (41:42):
So we Deb told us that her favorite Christmas
movie is North to Alaska.
Brad and Lee, what are what areyours?
Brett (41:49):
Well, I was actually trying to get at what do you
watch every year?
What did you watch growing up?
I think that we were talkingabout that the other day, and
Lee had an interesting answer,but I want to hear, like, Brian,
what did you watch every yearwhen you were growing up?
SPEAKER_06 (42:02):
How the Grinch store stole Christmas.
Yeah.
That's a good one.
Of a certain age that that'swhat was on TV every year.
Of course, I like the songs fromthe the show.
We happened to see it the othernight.
Deborah (42:14):
Yeah, uh Frosty the Snowman, uh the Charlie Brown
Christmas Sprint, Special.
Exactly.
Lee (42:23):
Yeah.
Yeah.
One thing that we used to do, orthe very first memory that I had
of the Christmas and watchingsomething on TV, I was actually
in kindergarten.
Uh, and you if you know, uh myfamily moved around almost every
year.
So it was easy for me to picturewhere we were in what house when
something happened, and thatkind of gives me the age I was
at that time.
Um so that's kind of how I gotto the point that I was in
(42:45):
kindergarten.
We were sitting there andwatching TV, and The Wizard of
Oz came on, which is not aChristmas show at all.
But in my childhood, every yearthey would play The Wizard of Oz
somewhere around the holidays.
So the first time I saw it, Iwas just mesmerized.
And of course, I'm from a verylarge family.
Um and I think it's the firsttime I remember being able to
(43:06):
tune everything else going on inthe world out and just totally
focus on uh what was happeningon the TV, never making a
connection between Judy Garlandand and me at that point.
Um but yeah, so that became afavorite childhood movie, and
every year after that, we wouldsearch the TV guides when they
came out to see when was itgoing to play and make sure we
(43:28):
were sitting there because ifyou didn't watch it when it was
broadcast, you missed italtogether.
At least for that year.
Those were the days.
Yes.
Deborah (43:37):
It's available on the Turner Classic movies.
Or if you have HBO Max, you canget it through that.
And you're right, it's not a aChristmas movie, but it I think
it's a movie that probablytouched all of us uh profoundly.
Lee (43:52):
Yes, yeah, for sure.
Deborah (43:54):
And I always wondered why.
SPEAKER_06 (43:55):
Why The Wizard of Oz?
It's different portions of therainbow coming together to fight
the common enemy.
Deborah (44:01):
There's probably lots of scholarly work that has been
done to to express that, but itwas just somehow it touched us.
And it was somewhere over therainbow.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Now, Ryan, just to clarify,North to Alaska was a movie I
saw on Christmas.
It's not my favorite Christmasmovie.
SPEAKER_06 (44:23):
Deb, please pray, tell what is your favorite
Christmas movie?
Deborah (44:26):
I love Elf.
SPEAKER_06 (44:28):
Elf, that's a modern one.
Deborah (44:30):
Yeah, I will watch that.
There's uh one you know, it thename of it escapes me.
I think it was from two yearsago, and Fasilla Rashad is in
it.
God, what is the n name of thatmovie?
Anyway, it's it's a delightfulmovie that was on um started a
couple of years ago, and so I Ithought that it was a good one
(44:51):
to add to the the holidayrepertoire.
I'll just check the magic Googlemachine.
Brett (44:57):
You know, I always love and I'm weird.
I like the anti-Christmas movieslike I Love Tim Burton, like
Nightmare Before Christmas andBatman Returns.
Those are two of my favoriteChristmas movies.
Exactly.
But it is a Christmas moviebecause he takes over Christmas.
So there you are.
SPEAKER_06 (45:13):
So I'm gonna argue that my favorite Christmas movie
is Love Actually, and I'm gonnaargue that that is a Christmas
movie.
Okay, I can stand behind it.
It's one of the best Christmasmovies in my opinion.
What is Love Actually?
Deborah (45:25):
Oh yeah.
That's become a classic.
SPEAKER_06 (45:28):
I love that movie.
Deborah (45:29):
Yeah, so the the movie's called Jingle Jangle, A
Christmas Journey in 2020.
And so that's very enjoyable.
And then of course a Christmasstory.
I mean, we we we we have suchthe the classics, the white
Christmas and the the awonderful life.
I mean, uh almost everyone Iknow will watch a wonder
(45:50):
wonderful life.
Although when you're watchingit, sometimes you think, God,
this is sad.
SPEAKER_06 (45:56):
It really is.
Brett (45:57):
It's very dark.
SPEAKER_06 (45:58):
Yeah, it's so okay.
So we talked about movies.
What about your favoriteChristmas song?
Lee (46:02):
Oh that's tough.
I'm sorry, was there another oneafter Mariah Carey's?
Play me another song.
What's it called?
I mean you didn't play aChristmas song.
Yes.
That's a recent one.
SPEAKER_06 (46:14):
It was okay.
Deborah (46:15):
But this is the important thing, is is think
about what the holiday means toyou and what the best ways to
express that are.
Um when it comes to gift giving,you know, most adults have what
they need.
I mean, I I don't know howpeople decide what to buy other
people and I take some money andspend it on you, and you take
(46:37):
some money and spend it on me,and that just doesn't I don't
know, that's just not my jam.
But you know, give somebody athe PBS passport, give someone
uh donate to queer voices intheir name.
I like that one.
Uh buy 'em a ticket to a play oreven a a season of of theater.
(46:58):
Make a donation to the manil.
I mean, there's so many placesthat you can go and you can
still honor someone and give itin the spirit of gift, but it's
not just something that's gonnabe opened up, create a bunch of
trash.
(47:19):
A lot of things just end up inthe landfill.
Yeah.
You know.
People people do have often muchmore than they think, much more
than they need.
Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_06 (47:28):
Americans have way more than we need.
Deborah (47:30):
And you know, remember to thank people.
People that have helped you outthrough the year, or just that
you want to remember uh uh maybepeople that did you a kindness
and you can just you know,little thank yous.
Um it it's a real treat just toget flowers or uh uh something
(47:52):
like uh this is somethingchildren can do, especially they
can make a little book of uhcoupons and say, uh, you know,
this is good for one, three,whatever chore, right?
And so you know, you don't haveto spend a lot of money, you
don't have to be a lot of flashbecause at in the end of the day
(48:13):
what matters, what you're gonnaremember is that essence of
being in family and being safeand being joyful because that's
what we try to create during theholidays.
And so I think that should beyour guide.
Lee (48:28):
Just as Yeah, we kind of changed our gift giving a couple
of years ago and decided themost the best thing in our life
was our time together and thethe experiences, the events that
we participate in.
So our gifts usually are aroundaround that.
But then we also have this yearwas our 46th annual uh holiday
party, and the holiday party forme has was Oh, I'm so sad I
(48:49):
missed that.
Yeah, bring people in that werepart of our lives over the
previous year and 46 years?
SPEAKER_06 (48:55):
That's a long time.
Lee (48:58):
Forty six years he's been having this party.
Forty-six years, that's what I'msaying.
unknown (49:02):
Yeah.
Lee (49:02):
So and it gives an opportunity to to uh thank those
people that were part of ourlife during that year and and
and kind of put a period on theyear.
Thank them.
Yes.
So to Deborah's point, yes, thatis those are the most important
things and the most meaningfulthings.
Brett (49:17):
Well again, we circle back to chosen family.
Yeah.
So there you are.
Deborah (49:21):
Well, all of you are part of my chosen family.
And I've enjoyed talking aboutour holiday memories with you
and whatever your plans are,just be safe and and stay strong
because we need each other.
We got a new year coming up andwe're gonna be facing lots of
challenges and it's good to knowthat folks like Ryan and Lee and
(49:45):
Brett and the rest of the QueerVoices folks are gonna be around
doing what we can.
Brett (49:51):
If you want to get us a present, you can go to KPFT.org
and donate and make sure thatyou put Queer Voices as your
show that you're donating to.
SPEAKER_06 (49:59):
We would very much appreciate that.
Brett (50:02):
Yes.
Or buy a brick.
They're doing a brick campaign,which I think is really cool.
They you get your name on aroundthe station.
Deborah (50:11):
Yeah, if you become a sustaining member, your name is
engraved on a brick that's usedin the papers at K the KPFT
studio.
And if you want to know moreabout that, go to KPFT.org.
Brett (50:23):
Yeah, it's pretty easy to find out about.
And it's definitely a good giftfor the holidays if you want to
like memorialize somebody oranything like that.
But I definitely think there's alot of opportunities to do
charity and do that in people'snames.
I know Tony's place takesdonations as well.
I I try to get my clothes tothem since I I did a recent
interview with them, and theymentioned that they have a
closet for people that arehomeless teens that they get to
(50:46):
pick whatever clothes they want,regardless of gender preferences
or anything like that.
They will let them pick fromthis closet of donations.
SPEAKER_06 (50:53):
That is that is such a good organization after.
Brett (50:56):
Yeah, and such a a sweet way to honor Tony Carroll.
Another person that I thinkabout at Christmas time.
I don't know why.
He just seems to be the spiritof giving.
Who was Tony Carroll?
Tony Carroll was a counselor,psychologist, just all of these
different things.
But in our community, he washuge.
And of course, he was married tothe dentist Bruce Smith, and
they they had a lot of mentaland gentle.
(51:17):
Yes, mental and gentle.
Shrink your head and fill yourteeth.
Yes.
Deborah (51:21):
Unfortunately, and of course it was uh Tony, Tony was
the guiding force behind thecreation of Tony's place because
he realized that there was aneed for providing services to
the people that are sometimes uhfaced with being unhoused and
especially the younger people.
SPEAKER_06 (51:41):
And I love me some Carrie Ray from Tony's Place.
Deborah (51:44):
Yes, indeed.
SPEAKER_06 (51:45):
Oh yes, definitely.
Deborah (51:46):
Our community is just full of so many amazing people
and it really is.
I just like I can't believe thepeople that I know.
They're so interesting.
SPEAKER_06 (51:55):
Do we take this for granted living here in Houston?
The quality of the people are sogreat.
Do we just 'cause maybe thisisn't the same everywhere else,
and what do people do?
Deborah (52:04):
Well, I I think we do tend to take it for granted
because especially like when youstart off and you come out and
you first started gettinginvolved in the community and
you don't realize like everyperson you meet is a hero or a
shiro.
SPEAKER_06 (52:20):
I know.
Deborah (52:21):
There w the we're we're all fighting the good
fight.
We're we're all trying to makethings better.
And you know, when we unite,that's what we do.
SPEAKER_06 (52:31):
So all colours of the rainbow coming together.
Deborah (52:34):
Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_06 (52:36):
That's what we can whisper for Christmas.
Brett (52:38):
Is that we all do that and recognize each other for
that.
SPEAKER_06 (52:41):
God blesses everyone.
Deborah (52:42):
And with that, I think we should say ado.
SPEAKER_06 (52:46):
Thank you, R Lee, Brett, and Deb for putting up
with all my stuff for this lastyear.
Deborah (52:51):
What does that mean?
Well, we'll talk to you aboutthat at your next review.
Lee (52:56):
Sounds familiar.
SPEAKER_06 (52:57):
I just had my annual review at work.
Lee (52:58):
Oh, love those.
Well, appreciate all of you andeverything that you've done.
You talk about remarkablepeople, and I certainly count
you among the top in ourcommunity.
So it's my pleasure to know eachof you and spend time with you.
Thank you, sir.
SPEAKER_00 (53:11):
Oh shit.org.
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