Dating New and Different Women with Jaime Messina - Lesbian Love and Mindset - Queer Women Rising® with Sophia Spallino | Finding Lesbian Love and Dodging Dating Drama

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hey friends, welcome back to Queer Women Rising, the podcast
where I phoned my lesbian friends.
Talk about the love that we all know we deserve, the peaceful
love we deserve, as well as how to dodge the dating drama.
I'm your host, Sophia Spillino, and I'm so excited to be here
with you today. I'm recording on May 14th.

(00:22):
This will probably come out somepoint in July.
I'm so glad in 10 days I have the next luxury lesbian retreat
with my ladies at Canyon Ranch. If you've never heard of Canyon
Ranch, it is where you go when you want a full reset, where you
just want to hit the reset button on life.
I am so ready to tap out and turn on to life with the

(00:44):
incredible single lesbians that are coming with me.
I only take a handful with me oneach trip.
The last trip we had two women fall in love, so I feel really
good about that. There were seven women total.
Out of those seven women, 2 are dating and my heart is just so

(01:06):
happy. There's so many ways that I'm,
you know, participating in helping women fall in love,
whether that's the lesbian dating platform, core Country
Club matchmaking, or coming to the luxury lesbian retreats.
But the retreats are so fun, selfishly for me because I get
to hang out with you in person and we all get to really relax
together. So I'm really excited for the

(01:26):
next one and I'm sure you'll seeupdates about it on social media
by the time this is out. If you're curious about coming
on a retreat with us or working with me as your private
matchmaker coming into the QueerCountry Club, all the links will
be in the show notes. Today is going to be, oh, before
I get in today, before I get in today.
Hello. We have had our first proposal

(01:50):
happen from the Queer Country Club.
Now it is May 14th and we have been out since last, I believe
we launched the first week of July, maybe last week of June,
1st week of July. So in less than a year, we've
had so many love stories. But to have someone have come to
me, I don't know if other peoplehave, you know, had their

(02:11):
marriage proposals, but for someone to come to me and my
team and say, hey, I've actuallyjust proposed is a privilege and
honor. And I'm so excited to be able to
get to do this, to get to do this work to get to connect
queer women who are really serious about love and have it

(02:31):
have this completion, actually abeginning really of a love story
of a, of a life story together. That means the most to me.
So thank you for sharing. If you're in Queer Country Club
and you find love, reach out to me, let me know.
I love to share love stories. A lot of you are more private,
so there may be things that you share.
And you know, we don't show the photos or anything like that
unless you want us to. But I just, I'm very, I'm very

(02:57):
grateful for this, this work, this life, this fun that I get
to have with all of you. And yeah, if you want to have
some fun with us on the next retreat, it's not typical LGBTQ
rager type of fun. It's champagne lesbian fun.
It's very easy luxury at Canyon Ranch.

(03:18):
It's Arizona, it's desert vibes,it's beautiful massages,
facials, privates. Time with me for your session,
plus incredible food, all inclusive templess environment,
meeting the most incredible women, spending quality time
with them and you never know where it could lead.

(03:39):
In fact, the ladies who have fallen in love from the last
retreat, I have a good feeling this is this is it for them.
I just, I saw how they were whenthey were together and it was,
it was different. It was different.
It was pure. And that leads me into our
conversation today with one of my dear friends, Jamie Messina.

(04:04):
She's a lesbian influencer, lesbian coach.
She has met someone that is making her think, Oh my gosh,
this is different. This is this is beautiful.
This is different. So I've invited her on today to
share about her relationship. And she is the brilliant mind
behind Club Lilies, which is a powerful online community for
older lesbians who are coming out late in life, older queer

(04:27):
women who are coming out late inlife.
And she's an inspiration to so many people, so many queer
women. So it's a real honor to have her
here. She's spoken as a guest expert
in the Queer Country Club. She's fascinated with the brain,
how the brain works, how we can intentionally change our reality

(04:48):
using our mind. And we get into that today about
how we can change our personalities.
As well as her sharing her love story because to be honest, as a
lesbian person of the Internet, we all hate the word influencer.
I know Jamie would like want to joke if I called her an
influencer, but me too like as alesbian person of the Internet,

(05:11):
as a coach, we feel you might think we have like a million
friends, but at the end of the day, it's it's really finding a
few that you can really trust. And I'm honored to call Jamie
one of mine. And I do feel that Jamie
considers me one of hers. And to be able to lean on each
other when we are going through tough times and celebrate with

(05:33):
each other when something good happens, when we meet someone
incredible. And to really trust in the
confidence, the privacy that we give each other means so, so, so
much. So today she decided to come on
and bring one of our friendship conversations live for everyone.
Because at the end of the day, I've seen this woman help so

(05:54):
many queer women heal. And it makes you wonder, like,
what happens when the coach needs to be coached?
What happens when the healer is going through their healing?
What happens when the the woman that people look up to falls in
love or meets someone new? How do they feel?

(06:15):
How do they maneuver through that?
Getting those raw conversations out is a privilege.
So thank you for doing this withme, Jamie.
Hi, I'm excited to be here. It's been a while since I've
seen your face. I know I'm like this is it's
like a one of our usual phone conversations just like a

(06:35):
FaceTime, which we don't FaceTime.
So yeah, I feel so freaking lucky in the world, like lesbian
world, like, let's be real, there's like a lesbian world,
then there's like a lesbian influencer world.
And I feel like the most lucky girl in the world to know so
many. No, let me not say so many, a

(06:57):
few, a handful of incredible influencers who are really who
they are. Like they're just that in real
life. And I get on calls with women
all day and they'll tell me their experiences with other
lesbian influencers like famous Tik Tokers and stuff.
And I'm like, oh shit. Like that's terrible.

(07:20):
And it's a privilege to really know your heart and like coach
to coach be friends. And I appreciate that.
I. Agree.
Awesome. Yeah.
No, I mean, it's rare. Like, we're lucky because the
Internet gives us more of like apool.
But yeah. And a rare to find, you know, I
think it is. It is rare to find.

(07:42):
So OK, I just, I always start byasking because people might not
know you. I know if you've listened to
this podcast before, you know that Jamie is an incredible
lesbian. He's founded one of the biggest
lesbian clubs in the world. The late in life lesbians club
Lilies. You know this.
But if you haven't listened before, you don't know anything
about Jamie. So let's just start with the

(08:03):
basics. I put the L on LGBTQ.
What letter do you identify with?
Oh, for sure. Oh.
For. Sure.
And like how long have you been out?
I've. Been out since I'm 18.
I'll be 43 a month from today. You don't.
Look 43 at all. Yeah.
What it What is the skin care secret?

(08:26):
I don't know. I honestly, I think it's a, a
belief that I, I just feel young, you know?
Yeah. Change my cells from the inside
out. For real.
And you live in Florida where obviously it's like a lot of sun
all the time. And yeah, you don't.
You look so good. So OK, I, I always tell people

(08:49):
like, it's actual skin care routine and my girlfriend's
sitting on my face. But apparently there's a mindset
factor too. Yeah, and you, you know, if you
believe you're young, you're young.
Also I stay out of the sun sinceI moved here.
Like I don't like Go and like layout or anything and because
that will age you real quick. Yeah, it will.

(09:11):
It really will. OK, what's going on in your love
life? I want to know the T like as a
friend, but for real, like on the podcast to like.
Whatever you can say, I want youto share.
And you've been through it with me.
I've. Been through it with me.
Right. So, so I I am in a something

(09:31):
new, which feels very different than anything before.
I think that like it, it how long, how long do I have for
this section? Because it's like as long.
As you want. It goes so deep.
It was like dating was one of the like last things as a
mindset and empowerment coach, right?
I've been working on myself for like a while and all the

(09:51):
different things and all the different triggers.
And the one thing that I felt like needed, still needed like
some fine tuning and some deep work was around dating and who
I, the relationships I was finding myself in and what I was
accepting and like different things like that.
And it, it was interesting because like the past once I
think I told you this, I was going to like EMDR and different
things around that because it istied to our past.

(10:14):
Often it, I don't know what shifted, maybe it was the UMDR,
but something changed. I did meet somebody who is
different than anybody that I'veever met before, OK.
So what? What does that mean?
What does different mean? What are?
What are some things you're noticing?
Well, even just in the sense of,I think, you know, I'm a nerd,

(10:36):
I'm wicked nerdy. I love like talking, but they
like, I'm, I just geek out all the time.
And I think I was trying to fit myself into like a not nerdy
mold. And that just doesn't work
because you don't have the same interests.
And I was finding myself dating people that, you know, we
couldn't have a conversation #1 like, they definitely didn't
understand where I was like in my process.

(11:00):
And I think we were in differentplaces on our processes.
And then we just didn't have a lot in common because I like to
nerd out over some things and they'd be like talking about,
you know what I mean? So in that sense we have we have
some things in common. She's a scientist, which is
cool. We like geek out over science
and stuff like that. Let's see what else?
Well, very emotionally intelligent and embracing

(11:24):
communication and vulnerability,which is like like that's part
of what I do. And often times in the past I
found that can be used against you if you don't meet the right
person who's at a point in theirlife where their understanding
of that and in a communication sense and in and so.
I get that. I get that.

(11:46):
Yeah. Anytime you end up, at least for
me, in a relationship with someone who's gotten to know
you, they it's so weird dating. I was like, I don't even want to
say like influence or public figure, whatever it is.
Like I feel there's like dangersthat come with it.
Like I'm just going to be straight up it's, it feels
really challenging for me. And there's a lot of things I

(12:08):
want to keep private. I want to go on dates privately
until I feel ready to share someone with the world because
I've done it wrong. And I'm sure you felt that way
too. Have you ever shared
relationships publicly? Yeah, once.
OK, the way you said that, yeah,I'm like, let's not go back
there. Yeah, because I do.
I'm the same way. It's like there's so many

(12:29):
different aspects, right? It could change things between
you and your partner. But then outside forces people
who like, I don't know, I've met, I've come across people
who, like, want to sabotage other people, like, yeah.
Yes, like lesbian triangulation is like it it's it's so deep and
dark. It's like what do do you guys

(12:50):
have like something better to dowith your time?
Come on then try to like hurt someone.
But yeah, it's it's rough. But what I've noticed is, is in
a couple relationships, I've hadpeople, like you said, use it
against me where they're like, well, you're the one that
influences people and all this stuff, then why can't we get it
right? Or I'm trying to address

(13:12):
something calmly, sensibly, withemotional maturity.
And then they keep pushing, pushing, pushing, digging,
digging, digging, and finally there's a blow up moment and
they're like, well, you're the coach that you shouldn't be like
blowing up. Well, you're still human, yeah.
It's a reactive abuse, dude. Anyway, yes, we're still human.
Exactly. So like as a coach, a healer for

(13:35):
so many like that's what people know you for mindset.
I'm sure you've been navigating like so much tension between
like being this real human versus actually really dating
and having someone appreciate you for who you are on the
Internet. See you for the real person you
are in real life. See how it's the same thing but
also like not worship you for being the famous influencer and

(13:59):
not not use it against you? Yeah, no, sorry.
I was like, I was just laughing,'cause you're famous.
I'm not, but yes, I know what you mean.
What? Are you talking about I see you
as being like 100% equal in lesbian world?
Oh my God, that's funny. Yeah, Yeah.
Dude, like you're Jamie Messino.Like I'm honored to be your
friend. Honestly.

(14:20):
Like I I still think of it as like a little fangirlie when I
see your texts come up. Like my famous friend.
Yeah, Well, no, yeah, for sure. I mean, all those things.
I definitely agree. And like, we're human, right?
Like people think, coach and they think that that means like,
oh, you're the expert, you can never do or these things.
No, we're human beings. Like the whole point, at least

(14:41):
for me, is like, I go through ittoo, which is why and I coach on
it. Like, you know, and part of
coaching is not that we're saying we're perfect.
It's that when things come up that we need to shift or adapt
or, you know, readjust, we do and we recognize it and we can
acknowledge it and you know, andand then move forward.
But some people, especially people who have no idea what

(15:02):
coaching is or are anti or like,oh, you just think you're better
than everybody. No, that's definitely not it.
No, no. And like, honestly, just
pointing people back to the truth within themselves is often
what my job looks like. So yeah.
Oh my gosh. OK, So what was it like to meet
her? What?
What was what was the vibe? However, whenever you're

(15:24):
comfortable sharing. I will cause like, I'm like
smiley about it because I literally thought I was asexual.
Not that that thing if you are. I just wasn't.
And then I felt like I was and I'm like, maybe it's 'cause I
had a hysterectomy. Like I don't know what was going
on. And because I hadn't had that
like see someone for the first time and be like, oh, right.

(15:45):
And it kind of happened this time.
It was right. It was interesting because the
first time I met her, we were atdog bar.
I had my dog with me and they have this.
Well, it wasn't the first time. The first time I Remember Me,
they have the same name, my dog and her, so I couldn't miss it.
But I remember I just walked up.I was like, hey, I've heard a

(16:07):
lot about you. It's nice to meet you.
And like I'm like, and then I'm like, that's interesting.
Out of everyone I said goodbye to at the table, 'cause she was
sitting at the table with us. That was the only part.
But I wasn't like consciously aware of why.
But I think I was noticing her. I don't know.
And then I started having like these thoughts, like even like,
I'm like, maybe I should go backto dog bar.
Like, I don't know, maybe she'llbe there.

(16:27):
And then I guess she was thinking the same thing.
I don't know, because my friendsone day were like, hey, come
meet us out. It was a Monday.
If you know me, I don't go out on a Monday like I'm working,
I'm working out, I'm eating right.
I'm going by the water. But I was like, oh, maybe she'll
be there just like, OK, I like met up with people on a Monday
and I was like, hey. And she was.

(16:48):
And then ever since then, I think we've been hanging out
non-stop. Oh, I love that.
So she was there like you were both feeling fooled to go back.
That's so sweet, so sweet. What is it like to go through
that? Like, OK, I know there's a lot
of women watching who are older,who are going through menopause,

(17:09):
who are may have gone through what you've gone through.
So what? What is it like to feel like?
Oh, I do feel these feelings. I do have a sense of attraction.
I do have a sexual urge again, Like, what can you say to
someone listening who's going through that rough patch right
now? Because it's pretty common.

(17:30):
I date older women. Well, and like, I wasn't sure.
I don't think it was the hysterectomy, by the way,
because I still have like my ovaries and everything.
I'm not in the menopause stage yet or like the even the pre I
just got. But it's something just wasn't
clicking for me. And I really kind of had like
accepted that I'm like, yeah, ifthat's what it is, it is like
I'm gonna focus on me. And the ironic part is, and

(17:50):
you'll have to remind me of yourquestion in a bit, but I just
remembered something like a couple weeks before.
I'm like, I'm just gonna work onme.
I'm gonna work on this thing with my therapist.
And I wasn't interested in like actively finding somebody to
date. She had told me that she was
over dating. She had, you know, cancelled all
her apps and everything like that because she had was just
like, I'm just gonna hang out with my friends.

(18:10):
And then like a week later we met.
So wow, I feel it's. Like when you let go of the
resistance, that's when things floaty, like you have to still
want it, but like you have to just let it go.
Yeah, and As for like realizing that, you know, that wasn't the
case for me, that like it wasn'tlike the end, like that was good
for me because I don't know. I'm just like wow, OK, I thought

(18:34):
maybe that I don't know. And I will say this, you know, I
don't know what it is. I think maybe and I don't want
to say the right person. It's very new right now, but
feel definitely feels different.And like, she was like, I
thought you said you weren't like touchy.
You're like physical touch in inpublic.
And I don't know what it is about this girl, but like, I'm

(18:55):
constantly just my like, I don'tknow, something.
Yeah. 'Cause it's like she's mine.
You are like snap. Harry Potter, Yeah.
I love that. I love that I feel like there's
people who come into our lives and things that we didn't even
they bring out parts of us that we didn't even know existed or
could exist again because maybe we felt like some passionate

(19:17):
love in the past. And then we think, I'm never
going to feel like that again. I'm never going to look at
someone like that again. For me, it was like, I'm never
going to want to like breathe insomeone's breath.
Like literally sit there just like breathe your breath in my
face. Like I and I know that it's out
there. Like I know that that's out
there. I have felt it again after being
in love before. So you can, if you're feeling

(19:39):
stuck, if you're feeling like Jamie, I must be asexual, which
again, nothing wrong with being asexual, but if you're not and
you're just in this slump, then there is a way out.
There is the light and you got to meet someone you're genuinely
aligned with and attracted to. So yeah.
So was it, was it like mental alignment first or were was it

(20:01):
like physical attraction first? Both.
Yeah, both. I love it.
Yeah, actually the first that Monday I went to the out when I
should, she had went off to the side and I went with it and she
started telling me about like, she played.
What does she play? She played, I think the violin
and the piano, and then she's a scientist.

(20:23):
I was like, oh, OK. Like she's not like any person
I've met at a bar before and we were at a bar, so it's not, you
know what I mean? I was like, OK, like, you know,
so first I think the physical attraction, because I didn't
know all of that about her. But then that always piques my
interest because those are things that I'm interested in
music and science and things like that.
Yeah. Do you play music too?

(20:44):
I play the guitar, I used to play the saxophone.
I love it. Gosh, I wonder if you guys are
going to like start a band. Does she still play or is this
something she did as a kid? I.
Think she could still play? Like I think she was in a band
recently. Wow.
Yeah. Well, it sounds like you've met

(21:04):
someone who's really different than what you've had before.
What is the different feeling where you're like, OK, this
feels different. What does that feel like?
I think in the past I was tryingto like fit square pegs into
round holes, you know, you know,this is just like a fit, whether

(21:25):
that's, you know, long term or whatever.
I don't know the future, but I do know that we are very
compatible in the sense and you know anyone in the past, I'm not
saying anything negative either.I was just was constantly going
for people that I wasn't compatible with.
And even after we figured out weweren't compatible, I was still
trying to make the compatibilityto happen, you know?
But that's not really how it works.

(21:46):
Sometimes, yeah. What would you say was the most,
like, unhealthy relationship that you've ever had?
And like, give people a glimpse into that, whatever you're
comfortable sharing, because I think it's important for people
to see like, you're never too damaged.
Like we've all had these like incredibly toxic no matter who
you are. Yeah, I mean, and I'm not

(22:08):
talking about one person. Like there's been several.
Like I was kind of putting myself in the same situations
where, you know, they didn't understand me at all.
So me being my genuine self, they would take in a totally
different way and then be upset at me because they weren't
understanding what I was meetingor what I was feeling or what I
was saying. And then it would end up being
like a really toxic cycle and then bringing parts of me out

(22:31):
that aren't myself at all. So I dealt in the past, just not
I, I can't say except for one, that I ever felt like the other
person was as interested and as invested in the situation as I
was. And I knew that I kept like
being holed into that those samesituations because of something

(22:55):
happening in my subconscious that I really wanted to work
out. Yeah, like you were just like,
OK with giving more to someone than they were giving to you.
Yeah, because I think also like the way I grew up and, and what
I learned on how we give and receive love was like, I love
to, to, I'm like, I love to serve people, you know, like
that's part of my love language is like acts of service and all

(23:18):
things and like taking care of somebody else that makes me feel
good and like whether they do reciprocate or not.
But sometimes if you aren't aware, other people can
definitely take advantage of that, yes.
Absolutely, absolutely. There's a many times where,
especially when I first started dating women, I can think of

(23:39):
three times where I was very aware that I was giving
significantly more emotion, likethinking about a future really
going further than someone was willing to give to me.
And if at a certain point, like someone you're in a relationship
for a while or even some point in the beginning where they're

(24:00):
not even future pacing to, to officially make it a
relationship, right? Like there's a certain amount of
future pacing that needs to be done.
I'm not talking about plan your whole life from day one, but
just next step pacing. And when you're not getting that
from someone, like being able tosay I love myself so much, I
have so much more self worth, I can just pull back and not pull

(24:24):
back to punish someone, but pullback because I'm not interested
in giving more than I receive. I'm not interested.
It's not about like giving tangible things.
I mean just that energy to somebody.
Right. Yeah, No, I mean, and you have
to be aware of that. And then also, yes, do that
thing and also not fall for somebody's potential.

(24:46):
And that's not anything against them, but or try to make someone
in the OK. I have another example in the
past, I might, you know, date someone to be like, oh, maybe
they don't eat as healthy as me and maybe that was like a real
priority for me. And I'll think, Oh, well, how
could they not eat, start to eathealthier around me right now?
I'm in a place where like, as islike, I'm here regardless.

(25:08):
I don't need anything to change,you know?
Yeah. It's good.
It's a good feeling to be like this is just a match.
This just aligns so good. Have to plug in queer Country
Club. We have the AI matchmaker and
it's so important to find someone who is just not like Oh

(25:28):
yeah, I think she's hot. But actually look at your
preferences and don't even entertain the people that aren't
hitting certain things on your preferences.
Yes, we understand there are compromises to be made, but if
something is a real deal breakerfor you, standing by that and
like not even wasting your time communicating with somebody who

(25:49):
isn't meeting the mark. So yeah, so important.
That's sapphic. Sophie, I love our little AI
girly in there. OK, I want to know your journey
from where you started to how you got into being a leader and
being the go to coach for lesbians who are coming out late

(26:12):
in life and how that's now evolved into you having this
cool TV show with your client. Like there's there's so much
there. So how did you go from coming
out at 18 being confident, but getting into this network with
these women who are coming out late?
Well, I wasn't confident when I came out at 18, that's for sure.
I was the opposite of I basically had to from 18 to 27.

(26:38):
I was loving alcohol, drugs, anything that could take the
edge off for me because I couldn't even speak to people in
public. I have a super shy low self
esteem like, but always had thislike underlying sense of
leadership. So like I was my, the president
of my class in high school in mysophomore year or something, you

(26:58):
know, like, even though I am notsuper confident, I did have
those aspects. They were, they were there.
I just couldn't necessarily utilize them to the to the best.
But when I finally hit 27, it was like kind of rock bottom ish
for me. I had gained a ton of weight.
You know, college is done, my job wasn't the most fulfilling
and I was just at a point my depression anxiety got a lot

(27:19):
worse and I was at the point where I really just wanted to
end my life. I didn't like it.
And every day I got, I would think about this every single,
but I would also think about my niece and nephew and how I could
never do that. And so like I found myself just
like literally praying and beinglike, all right, I need what do
I do? What do I do?
What do I do right? And then Long story short,

(27:39):
because it is a long story, I decided I was going to get fit
and my friend sent me this thingand she's all, oh, you know,
here's this fitness thing. It was like Beachbody.
It's an online group. You don't have to go to the gym
because I was too shy to go to the gym.
And so I was like, all right, I'll try like whatever, I'll do
it right. And then that kind of instilled
in me because somehow I got super committed and I had a very

(28:01):
awesome physical change. But what happened with the
physical change was my depression started to lessen.
I was like looking people in theeyes.
I was smiling. I was actually happy for the
first time. I was like, like feeling joy for
the first time and I couldn't remember.
And they also encouraged personal growth and we did
trainings and we read books. And so that just started to be

(28:22):
something that I became addictedto, I guess I.
Love that like, but wait, do youfeel like I'm just thinking for
somebody who's going through that like that deep depression
where they're like, I would end everything except for this like
thing that I want to live for. It sounds like you found
something like just one thing that you could get obsessed

(28:44):
with, focused on, and it was a healthy thing, like just one
healthy habit. And then that like trickled into
so many. Yeah, it's not.
Yeah, and it wasn't. It's not like it's like, oh,
there's one thing, but I just happened to stumble upon this
one thing being like the beach body group that had all of these
things like nutrition, right? Eating right and not eating junk

(29:04):
and drinking a shit ton of alcohol.
Obviously it's gonna make your brain feel better, your body
feel better putting in your body.
I was drinking way more water soI wasn't walking around
dehydrated. And that affects your brain as
well. I was moving my body.
Your endorphins are going. I was starting to lose weight
and feel better physically aboutmyself in addition to being
surrounded by other people who were positive and supportive

(29:26):
instead of talking shit all the time.
And we read books about personalgrowth and the compound effect
and how small consistent action over time leads results.
So all of these things together,what I was fueling my mind and
my body with and then surrounding the people I
surrounded myself with because Iwas so focused.
By the way, the whole goal when I first started was I wanted to
look good for a that I was gonnasee nothing to do with because I

(29:49):
didn't know that those things could change the way you feel
inside. I didn't even know that that
would be part of it. I thought my personality was how
my personality is gonna be forever.
I thought I was always gonna be the wallflower, the one people
who could see right, look right over, right past, not even
notice you. And but it just so happened that
these things came along with that and very quickly I forgot

(30:11):
about the girl and I started focusing because it felt good.
I felt like a whole different person.
I felt like I had a whole new life.
But I still wasn't ready to coach for anything like that
until Did I ever tell you this? I think I told you this, the
last time I was working with at this place, it was called
margaritas and all the, you know, kids, we were in our 20s.
We all served there. It was fun and everyone would
hang out after and everything after.

(30:32):
There are shifts. And there was this one bartender
who I thought was like super popular soup.
She seemed happy. I didn't think anything of it.
And, you know, she kept, I wouldcome in and she'd be like, oh,
you look thitter skinnier. And I'd be like, yeah, I've
been, I've lost 2 lbs. I lost this many inches 'cause I
was just focused on the physicalof this thing, right?
I didn't really put two and two together yet.
The mind. And and then one day I had

(30:55):
learned that and I started coaching, fitness coaching.
And then I had learned that she had committed suicide.
And I was like, of all the things I was doing, 'cause I
started fitness coaching, I started posting about it online,
but I was only always talking about the physical.
And I started thinking about thereal things that changed for me,
you know, which was being able to talk to strangers, looking up
and smiling, actually feeling joy for the first time.

(31:17):
And I was like, you know, this person had asked me about my, my
physical transformation. What if I had been, because she
saw me posting about it? What if she had?
What if I had posted about the other thing and she had asked
about that? And I didn't like blame myself
for it, but I decided in that moment, like, I'm going to start
coaching beyond just physical and I'm going to start talking
about, you know, the brain and all the different things that
come along with that. And, and because I didn't

(31:39):
believe like just a year before that, that it was possible to
change the way that I felt. I was just wanting a fitter
body. And the fact was I got a whole
new life. I got a whole new feeling within
and everything changed because of that.
Wow that is impactful. Holy moly.

(31:59):
To not blame yourself for something like that, obviously,
but to look at it as this turning point of if I shared
this thing. I could maybe inspire someone
else to make a different choice in the future.
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(34:29):
You're welcome. OK, back to the show.
Yeah. And that's, you know, led to,
you know, then I shifted from body like physical fitness to
the mind and started learning more about that and learning
about the neural pathways because I'm like, well, what is
this? Because I didn't know that your
brain could change and shift andjust I started geeking out
because I am a geek at heart, like about neuroscience and

(34:53):
neuropsychology and all these things.
So which led me down this path of wanting to become a coach
beyond fitness. And then it just so happened
that people would find me on TikTok and stuff.
And because of the way that I looked, I looked like a lesbian.
I talked to a lesbian. Sorry, my dogs here.
That's okay, you know, they lesbians would hire me because

(35:14):
they probably felt comfortable. And then what I had found was
wow, my last six clients all hadthe same issue.
They were coming out later in life and didn't know where to
meet people or and they were asking me for resources and I
didn't have any so I didn't know.
So I was like, let me just make this Facebook group and see what
happens and make the TikTok about it right.
So then I did and then all thesepeople overnight joined like

(35:35):
thousands of people, which ultimately like held me into
this bub lilies and like later in life, lesbian coach.
But I'm not actually that. I don't coach people on coming
out later in life. You know, they might think that
that's why they want to hire me.But when it comes down to it,
it's not about that at all. It's about what we all deal
with, which is limiting beliefs and disempowering thoughts and

(35:58):
having, you know, being able to get clear on the things that you
want and then learning how to know what steps to take to get
there. And, you know, whether it be to
leave a marriage or find a partner, you know, all it's all
across the board. And it just so happened that,
you know, the late in life lesbians found me because I

(36:20):
don't know, maybe because TikTok, but.
Yeah, it's so. I love how it all turned out so
good. But you said something
interesting and I can't help butask it Can you really change
your personality? If so, how?
Yeah. Oh, absolutely, because and I
didn't think you could. My personality before I got into

(36:41):
the fitness was very negative. You know, I did always have like
exciting, like entrepreneurial like ideas, but I was very
negative about myself, about life.
I could never take a personality.
I was always like wah wah. I was like, you know, the only
thing I had going for me or thatI was proud of was, you know,
how many beers I could pound or like, you know, like it wasn't

(37:04):
anything close to who or how I am right now.
Nobody would come to me and think, oh, Jamie's the +1 or
Jamie is the healthy one or never.
So yeah, I mean, personality, there are things that are core
to us, right? But the things that were core to
my personality were the things that were being pushed aside
because I always had that leadership core trait within me.

(37:26):
But that was being pushed down and overcome by my anxiety, my
depression, my low self esteem. You know, yeah, it's interesting
because I'm sure there are people listening who think maybe
they listen to their shows so they can be more confident in
dating women. Maybe they just want to hear
other stories and they want to be more confident in the

(37:48):
decisions they make in life, whether it's their business,
whatever it is. But to know that you could go
from literally not looking someone in the eye Jamie to now
being this known leader is like insane.
And I use this all the time because you don't understand.
I took an F in one of my collegecourses because I didn't stand.
I didn't want to stand up and doI couldn't when it was time.

(38:09):
First of all, there were only like 18 people in the class.
It wasn't even a big class, OK. And we had to do some kind of
like presentation. My throat would close like it
was bad, you know, like I, I wouldn't go on to class on the
first couple days so we didn't have to do those like Ice
Breakers. I remember like they were just.
I would hide at every chance I could.

(38:31):
Wow, that's wild to think that you could go from that to who
you are now. My best friend growing up had
to, if we went shopping, she used to have to bring my clothes
up to the counter to interact with the clerk and pay for
literally. Oh my God.
Yeah, that's like. So I know that if you've been
able to have this transformationfor yourself, you've definitely

(38:53):
been able to help your hundreds of clients.
What does it what? What is your favorite success
story? I have a bunch, obviously, you
know Myra's who we just did the short documentary on.
She, she hired me because her mom had just passed away.

(39:15):
She is a late in life lesbian. She had just realized it.
And her entire life she would hide behind her hair and her
clothes 'cause she was trying tofit in, to look the role of the
straight person. And she really, her whole life
just wanted to be more masculinein the sense of her hair
especially, and like her clothing.
And so but she didn't feel comfortable in doing that.

(39:35):
You know, she's in Vegas. She doesn't have a lot of gay
friends. She's a doctor.
A lot of the doctors are like old school at the hospital she
works at. And so, you know, she had a lot
of internal homophobia and different things like that.
And so we worked through all that.
And then at the end of our time together, she flew here.
We got her hair cut. We got her a little makeover, We
got her fitted suit and also gotto share her story, you know,

(39:58):
through a short documentary thatI created on for my YouTube.
So that was one of them and. It's beautiful.
You guys have to go watch it. The transformation's amazing.
To just see someone go from being like you were saying about
yourself, like so shy, just being a totally different
personality, to just blooming into who you really are.
I mean, you've probably gone through it yourself if you're

(40:19):
listening to the show. One thing you just touched on
was internalized homophobia. This is something that I've been
out for four years and I'll still notice things in me that I
will be like just, I don't know.I'll just notice it and be like,
that's not good that that's still there inside.

(40:41):
So what are the things that you notice in clients that are the
hardest to get rid of when it comes to internalized
homophobia? Because I feel like if we can
name it, we could all like, check ourselves.
I don't know about clients, but I'm thinking about myself for a
while. It was definitely something that
I had to learn because it would affect, you know, dating, being

(41:02):
physical in public, like even just holding hands.
I would never be comfortable. I'd always be looking over my
shoulder. And I don't know if that's
because, you know, I came out ata time when it wasn't well, and
we're back there, though, in a sense where we have to worry,
you know, legal to get married. It wasn't cool.
Like nothing. So like I was.
Oh, and, you know, people would say shit back then, but then,

(41:22):
you know, in between from then and now there, it really wasn't.
But now I'm kind of at this place where I don't care
anymore. But it's still maybe some people
don't feel safe. Yeah.
So like when it comes to internalized homophobia, it's
it's that, it's maybe thinking that your relationship isn't
doesn't matter as much as maybe your straight siblings or like

(41:47):
things like that. Do you?
What do you notice within yourself?
That's that's really interesting.
Like my relationship might not be as valid to people that I
love, which really hurts right Whenever I'm in one.
Another thing is this is really vulnerable to say, but like
there are times where I still get really shy about enjoying

(42:10):
sex as much as I do. So if I'm with a partner and I'm
like so proud of myself because I just gave her five orgasms in
a row, I will like try to mask it on my face because I'll just
be like, like normal. Like it's fine.
Because I've noticed there have been women who are like, there's

(42:30):
been women that I've been with who were bi curious, right?
And they're just like, oh gosh, like how do you not go mouthwash
after that? And then I'm like, OK, y'all
were just here for one isolated sexual experience.
Like you're not truly bisexual. You're not truly here for like
to be with a woman because I'm not interested in going

(42:53):
mouthwash after I go down on you.
Like those kind of things like really bother me.
And so I felt I after that happened, it kind of stuck with
me to where even now in my relationships with women who are
so sure that they're attracted to women, want to be with women
very confident in their sexuality.

(43:15):
I still don't want to come across as like being too, I
don't know, obsessed with the female body.
And then I catch myself and I'm like, no, I love, like, I get to
love this. I worked so hard to come out.
I worked so hard to be here. So that's something that I've
noticed in my last couple relationships where I would have

(43:36):
those thoughts coming up and then I would like, push it aside
and be like, just because someone else wasn't comfortable
in their sexuality and let that internalize homophobia come up
literally in bed. Like I'm not gonna let that
affect my relationships. Yeah, I'm sure it probably looks
different for everybody because even like, you know, homophobic,

(43:56):
like homophobia looks different for everybody.
You know, yeah, it does. It really does.
I don't know. I think it comes up in different
ways. It comes up obviously like in
that like super sexualized way with your partner privately, but
then it also comes up in non sexual ways.
Like I went to Disney with a girl that I've been dating and

(44:19):
she like didn't want to kiss because there were kids around.
And I was like, I'm sorry, that's not going to work for me
because there's there's nothing wrong with it.
And I talked to her about it andshe was like, OK, I get it, I
get it. But it's an internalized
homophobia being like, we have to be respectful and then

(44:40):
checking yourself. What is disrespectful about
this? Right.
Like literally nothing. I'm sure you felt that way in
the past when you're saying you felt that fear of PDA.
So there's no judgement towards her.
Especially once I was able, I talked about it.
She immediately turned it around.
She's like you're so right. But just checking.

(45:01):
It's interesting because I only date women 50.
Plus you're in your 40s. I I would like to think this
shit goes away but apparently itdoesn't because you and her are
two of the most confident women I know.
Wise women. And if it still comes up, it
just goes to show you how much we're we're like one person

(45:21):
pushing against a wave of what society is putting up against us
and what is getting all over again worse right now.
Yeah. And I mean, for me, it was it,
it, it doesn't necessarily it did get better.
But you know, obviously the current political environment, a
lot of people don't feel safe. So I don't know if it's the same

(45:43):
thing as internalized homophobiaper SE.
One thing I do remember about myself is feeling like I needed
to change everyone's opinion. So I came in looking feminine
and wasn't super whatever because I needed them to like me
first before I told them I was gay.
Because then maybe I could bridge the gap.
And that's like, it's not a goodway to live, you know what I

(46:06):
mean? You get to be yourself.
You have the weight of everything on you.
And it's like, fuck them, who cares if they don't like you,
right? No, 100%, it doesn't matter at
all. Yeah, it's, it's so interesting
how we try to like shape shift to, to make sure people do like
us. I've, I've found that for a long
time I would try to just be like, oh, I'm neutral about this

(46:29):
thing. And there's been things lately
where I'm like, no, I'm not neutral anymore.
And I'm not afraid to say it because I'm not going to sit
here listen to you say this bullshit about someone in our
community, specifically trans people.
Like I'm like, no, I'm not don'ttolerate it.
Like if you think that, don't bearound me.
But yeah, it's, it's interesting.
So yeah, it's, it's, it's internalized homophobia.

(46:50):
It's also straight up safety. One thing as I get into get into
much deeper with private matchmaking clients, many of
them come to me because of not internalized homophobia, but
like you said, the safety of it because of their careers, like
they're so private or they work in like these sectors that are
just not inclusive to queer people.

(47:13):
And so it's one of the saddest calls I've had recently is like
Sophie, I have so much money, like so much money.
I don't know what to spend it on.
I have no kids. I have two houses, all these
things, but I like, I haven't been able to find love.
I don't have time and I don't have the ability to be out like.

(47:38):
And I would, I would maybe even say that it might go deeper than
that. You know, there's probably some
things in your subconscious thatare stopping you.
For sure, for sure. There's there's so much, so many
layers, but it's just yeah, I guess I haven't really talked

(47:59):
about that yet. The safety thing is like a real.
Thing for sure. Yeah, I hate that we're even
talking about that. It's kind of weird.
It's 2025. I know, and like, you know, the
things that when my clients are nervous about that because they
do talk about it, what I'll say to them is like, hey, listen,
the reason why I'm not like freaking out is because I've
been here before. You know, when I was 18 and

(48:21):
George Bush, you know, junior was president or whatever, Like
things weren't great for us and people could not protect us in
any way, shape or form. And you know, we went through it
and like, I had just a great of a time then as I am now, you
know, I was more of involved in like the activist part back

(48:43):
then. But you know, it just I, we'll,
we'll get through it. And I think, you know, it's
might be rough for a minute, butwe're definitely going to move
forward, like we're going to getthrough it.
We will. We have to.
It's the only option. There's no, there's no Plan B.

(49:03):
OK, So what are you working on now that's exciting you?
I know that you've done this incredible documentary of your
client and everyone's got to go watch it.
Everyone's got to see the transformation and see just the
the way that you truly care about your clients.
It's really beautiful. I know there's a lot of coaches
to choose from in the world. I know there's a lot of lesbian

(49:25):
influencers out there, but when you see Jamie, or if you've been
lucky enough like me to like, really hang out with you in
person, what you see is what youget.
You're just so sweet and so real.
And yeah, what what is it? What is the thing that you're
excited about now? So I would say, right, I was
really excited about the documentary.
I want to do more things like that with clients.

(49:49):
I'm always excited about different group coaching things
that I have coming up. But yeah, I'm excited to do more
of what I did with Myra. It's and also get more into
making videos on my own, like learning, taking classes around
that and stuff around making videos and and being more.
Because here's the thing, I'm a coach.
I love coaching. It feels, it feels like my

(50:10):
purpose here on Earth. I also love to create.
And for a minute there, I kind of lost that part and it was
just like mundane or just going through the motions.
And I want to, you know, and maybe I've lost growing with the
technology a little. So like I want to take more
classes to be updated on that soI can pair those two things

(50:32):
together more. Like tell more stories.
Because I love storytelling because that's what you know,
emotion. Not only so it geeks me out
because stories are so powerful,right?
Like even in sales, they'll be like facts tell stories to sell.
But also when it comes to changing your brain, like if
you're trying to change your neural pathways or something

(50:53):
like that. If you feel, if you think a
thought and feel an emotion at the same time, it's way more
powerful than if you just think the thought like the feeling
that you feel like. And so you can literally change
lives just by sharing the story.100%.
Emotion. Yeah.

(51:16):
So for you it's it's about taking classes and then like
taking people through more transformations.
Is that what you're I? Would like to, yeah.
And I wasn't thinking necessarily physical, like I
have a few ideas of different clients that are going through
much different things, but we would share, you know, their
story. Myra shares her coming out story
because it was traumatic, but wewould share theirs and, and

(51:38):
where they but then do somethingdifferent.
Like I want to give you an example, but I don't want anyone
to steal it. I don't think it will.
I don't think they will anyway. Like I have this one client who
is a mask for mask and it's veryhard for her to find somebody to
date. So maybe we bring her in, she
shares her story. We could, you know, go through a
couple things, maybe again, clean up her style a little, but

(52:00):
then, you know, send her on a date, find another mask to have
her go on a date with and like see how that is or, you know,
different things that come up for people.
I love it. I love that you're giving the
lesbian makeovers because I, youknow me.
I'm like, someone needs to teachthe lesbians about skin care and
like, I don't know, but you're so you're giving a makeover and

(52:22):
I think that's amazing. Like giving someone the makeover
to be who they really are. It's more like a make under
honestly. Yeah, Yeah.
I don't like the word makeover because we're not doing like,
the whole, like, you know, all that other stuff.
It's really like, OK, what feelslike you like?
And sometimes they don't have the ability.
Like even that client that is talking about where she lives,
there's not a lot of options forher to go shopping.
And maybe this is internalized homophobia.

(52:44):
She doesn't necessarily feel comfortable walking into stores
that she does want us buy clothes in because they're men's
stores. And I remember you used to feel
that way too. I've never thought about that as
a film. It's something that's a
privilege of being a film that Idon't ever have to think about.
I went shopping with the girl I was talking to and it was really

(53:05):
interesting because I'm very confident at grabbing something
off the rack and being like, trythis on daddy like, all sexy
like. But I wonder how I would feel
being the one just walking in onmy own.
I That's actually really interesting.
I remember being like 19 years old.
I was a sociology major, so I always thought that's how my

(53:27):
brain works, right? And I remember and of course it
was different then. But like again, maybe it's come
back around. Although a lot of gays are in
the retail space, but I rememberwalking in at the mall to
different places and noticing orfeeling like I noticed a
difference between when I walkedin dressed the way I wanted to
dress, like a little masked lesbian.

(53:48):
Or coming in dressed where I would shove myself into feminine
clothes that I didn't feel comfortable in.
And I felt like people who work there wouldn't come up to me
right when I walked into the place when I was dressed like a
little lesbian. I get it, I like those.
Social experience are some of myfavorite things to do, so I've

(54:10):
never done that one, obviously, because I'm not masculine.
But when I go to the airport now, I purposefully wear a dress
because the more feminine I can appear, the more likely I'll
have men help me lift my bags over and over.
Heavens and look, my guns are small.
OK, really small I'll. Say they help me too, but that's
because I'm little. I'm like 5-1 on a good day.

(54:31):
You are so little, I would neverhugged you in person for the
first time. I was like, gosh, it's so.
And I will say this now when I go into stores, though, and This
is why I'm, I'm saying it's not even like it used to be.
I live in Florida, right? You would expect that it would
be bad. Now when I go into stores, like
people want to talk to me. They want, they think I have a
cool style. Like, you know, so I and I do
dress masculine and clearly looklike a lesbian, although my hair

(54:53):
is growing out now and I've never, I haven't encountered
that same experience as I did back then.
But I'm sure in different parts of the country maybe they do.
Yeah, yeah, maybe. So it's it's interesting to go
back in time and like you said, be like, OK, it was like this
then it's kind of getting back to like this now.
We will get through it. That's I forget that.

(55:15):
I forget because I'm 32 about tobe 33 that like you guys have
lived through this bullshit already.
So that gives me a little bit. Better for me at 18 than it was
for the people before me and, you know, like, so, yeah.
Yeah, we have to remember that. I love how you are in real life.

(55:38):
I love how you are here. Thank you for sharing your
stories. I know that's why people love
you. Why when they coach with you
like they coach probably really long term because because you're
just raw and you just keep it real.
I know. That's why I queer Country Club
love you. Loved you when we had you
inside. Sharing about the brain, how to

(55:58):
break some habits, how to start new habits, how to open your
heart to love. I would love to have you come
back in for sure and coach because they loved you.
So you guys, if you're listeningand you're curious about working
with Jamie, you can reach out toher and also join Inquiry
Country Club because we will have Jamie coming in as a guest

(56:19):
expert. I know that we also have a
recording of her past, past Coach.
Then when I was in there, I forget if I talked about like
manifesting your soulmate or oneof the things.
And at the time, you know, I hadbeen practicing manifest and I
had this whole little 10 day manifest your soulmate.
And the joke was that I manifested my dog from that

(56:41):
because she was like the girl I wanted to exception she was a
dog. And I was like, huh, maybe I
didn't say person. And then the irony is the person
that I met happened to have the same name as my dog.
So maybe it was like all that was very on purpose.
Oh yeah, no, it works. Obviously it works.
And you know what? Like one thing I could say about
you is during the time where you've been single, like I'd ask

(57:06):
you like, how's it going? You're like, no, I'm doing more
work on myself. Like you've just been like, you
really weren't like out there like looking like you were like
I'm open, but I'm like, I'm doing the work on myself.
And that was really. Really.
I wasn't ready yet. Today was still that piece of
whatever it was, but yeah. Yeah, just a little bit more to

(57:26):
uncover. We're like little onions.
Get down to the core of it. I've got therapy right after
this. Like after this call I literally
have to go write down all my notes.
For. Therapy.
I know it's going to be a big one.
I'm like not looking forward to it today honestly, but you
gotta. Do the work, gotta do the work.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me.

(57:47):
Yeah. Is there any coaching program
that you're doing this might airin like a month?
But like what? Like what's coming up?
That is a way people can work with you.
Yeah, I should well, always one-on-one a month from now my
current group coaching will be ending and I'm sure I'll be on
to the next one. I just haven't decided for sure

(58:07):
what it is. But I'm I'm leaning towards
inner child because that one powerful.
I run 12 week group coaching programs and the inner child one
was is my favorite because that's literally everything we
deal with. You know what I mean?
Like things that are coming up for today, triggers.
And it's not like what is adult,you know, competent Sophia, It's

(58:27):
probably, you know, 9 year old Sophia.
And, and we got to figure that out and doing that work and, and
connecting with my inner child and all my my clients as well
has been super powerful. So I think I'm gonna bring that
one back, probably starting right after July 4th.
So I'll be, you know, promoting it around this time.
Yeah, that's perfect. If they're interested in joining

(58:48):
that, how do they get in touch with you you?
Can go to my website, itsjamiecoaches.com Jaime like
Kaime or any of my social media.I'm the one that will, you know,
converse with you there. Instagram.
I'm not big on checking my TikTok messages.
It's not my favorite like message platform because you
can't use the voicemail, but Instagram would be the way.

(59:11):
If you're going to message me ona social media platform,
Instagram. Yeah, I admit a lot of my TikTok
messages, like they just, I don't know, especially because
people don't put profile pictures there.
Like I'm like, why would I respond?
Like, you don't even have a, youknow, there's.
A lot of spam on TikTok. Yeah, it's it's so unchecked on
TikTok anyway. OK, cool.

(59:33):
I'm going to put all your information in the bottom of the
show notes. You guys will love Jamie.
I've had so many people come to me because of you and share how
much they love you and how much their life has changed.
When I was doing business coaching, I've had someone come
who came through your programs, who like got their
self-confidence by going throughyour programs, even come to me

(59:56):
to talk about what they wanted to grow in their life, but they
needed that baseline first and. It's so important.
I know so many women in our community, like you said, you
think you're coming for coachingfor one thing, but you're
actually needing another thing. And if you need to start at the
baseline, you need to rewire your thoughts.
You need to even be able to believe that love is possible

(01:00:19):
for you, right? Like you're listening to this
because I know you want that in your life.
You know, that's what I do. But if you just know like in
your core, like I need to prepare to even be able to
fathom that reality for myself, I highly recommend working with
Jamie, any of her programs. She's an incredible friend to
me. And if anyone wants to come into

(01:00:41):
QCC, Jamie also has a really good affiliate code that will
get you a discount, like like a massive discount.
I'll put it in here. Pretty much as you know, if
you've listened to the podcast before, getting into Queer
Country Club is a $47 upfront investment as an initiation fee.
And from there, you can choose to stay with us at 17 a month or

(01:01:04):
97 for the year. But when you come through Jamie
Messina's link, you'll be able to just wave yourself of that
$47 initiation fee and join the club.
So definitely a great benefit. So if you've been on the fence
about joining, you want to completely skip the initiation
fee, go to the link in the show notes and use Jamie's link to

(01:01:25):
join. And if you don't know what Queer
Country Club is, it's my lesbiandating platform for monogamous
women. Ready to go all in?
Go all in and find their foreverpartner.
So use Jamie's, yeah? And you know what?
I love what you're doing with that just because, you know, in
the past, dating apps and if it was part of a platform until
yours just turn me off because Ithink it's really hard to really

(01:01:47):
know somebody on there. And a lot of people I think just
wind up there when they're heartbroken, right?
They're not really ready to be dating.
So if you're in a place where you're ready and conscious, like
what you're doing, you know, theother people are as well.
And so it takes a lot of the thebullshit out of it, yes.
Yes, and scammers because there's that paywall, like you

(01:02:09):
can't just get on an app and like be have a fake account.
Like there's so many of them outthere.
And what people don't know aboutmy industry, there's so much the
dating industry is very complex,but a lot of people, this is
common practice in dating app world to have fake accounts with
like beautiful people. It's horrible and they just pump

(01:02:30):
up their platform with those fake accounts to make it look
like there's more people, more beautiful people.
Like what you see in Queer Country Club is real because we
don't let people do filters. If we notice anything like that,
we will ask you to remove the picture, replace the picture.
We're very serious. It's highly moderated.
And like you said, it's it's more of a conscious crowd
because of the way that I, I share, you got to identify as

(01:02:54):
being ready for that monogamous partnership.
So come on in, join us, see whatit's all about.
Thank you for being here Jamie and have an amazing day and I
wish you the best in your new relationship that feels
different. Thank you.

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Dating New and Different Women with Jaime Messina - Lesbian Love and Mindset

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Dating New and Different Women with Jaime Messina - Lesbian Love and Mindset