Showing Up Single to the Holidays - Single & Proud for Lesbian Cuffing Season

Ways to work with The Luxury Lesbian™ Matchmaker, Sophia Spallino:

💎Platinum Private Luxury Lesbian™ Matchmaking – For the woman who wants her Future Wife® delivered on a silver platter, I do all the screening so you can focus on falling in love.

Explore Private Matchmaking: https://queercountryclub.com/private-lesbian-matchmaking-service 

✨Exclusive Luxury Lesbian™ Retreat at Canyon Ranch – A blissful weekend with an intimate group of extraordinary single queer women… curated to spoil your senses and reignite your belief in love and possibility.
Join The Luxury Lesbian™ Getaway: https://queercountryclub.com/luxury-lesbian-retreat 

❤️The Queer Country Club® – Our premier dating platform for monogamous queer women who are living amazing lives, but missing just one thing… their Future Partner®.  

Apply to Join QCC: https://queercountryclub.com  

🌈 Private Rising Coaching Session – If you're unsure of your next step but know in your gut you're ready to call in love, deepen self-trust, or design a life you’re proud of, I’m here to guide you.
Reserve A Private Coaching Session: https://sophiaspallino.com/private-coaching 

💬Got Qs? DM on Instagram → @sophiaspallino https://instagram.com/sophiaspallino

🔺Get Wisp Kitty Care 🐱 Proud Partner

https://bit.ly/sophiawisp

So many lesbians are walking into the holidays single… and for the first time in history, that isn’t a burden. It’s a privilege. In this episode, Sophia invites you to rethink what it means to be unattached during a season that traditionally glorified heteronormative couples and family pressure.

This conversation dives into the power we have today… the freedom to choose partners we actually want, not the ones our parents and grandparents were forced to settle for. Sophia explores what it means to break generational patterns, build a life rooted in authenticity, and honor the sacred autonomy queer women now have thanks to the visibility and courage of those who came before us.

What You’ll Hear Inside

• The privilege of choice

Sophia challenges you to reflect on how rare and extraordinary it is to choose singlehood instead of settling for emotional safety, societal approval, or family expectations.

• Breaking the generational cycle

We talk about how our mothers and grandmothers often stayed with partners they didn’t love… and how queer women today are rewriting the script with self-respect and intentionality.

• Freedom to be out and proud

Sophia highlights the power of living openly, the safety many lesbians now have to build real partnerships, and how coming out broke centuries of silence.

• Navigating the holidays solo

Instead of dreading it, Sophia shows you how to enter the season with clarity, confidence, and emotional power. You’ll learn how to stay grounded when relatives ask invasive questions, how to create your own traditions, and how to feel held even without a partner.

• The expansion available in being single

Sophia reframes singlehood as a portal for growth, alignment, and preparing for the level of partnership you actually desire.

Why This Episode Matters

You’re not just single… you’re sovereign. You’re the first generation in your lineage with the privilege to choose authenticity over survival. You’re the one breaking the pattern of staying in relationships that shrink your spirit. And during the holidays, that clarity becomes your superpower.

Sophia invites queer women everywhere to celebrate the freedom they hold, the love they’re growing into, and the Future Wife™ they are aligning with every day.

If this episode stirred something in your heart, message Sophia on Instagram and share what pattern you’re breaking in your family line… and if you’re ready to meet extraordinary queer women who want real commitment, join us inside the Queer Country Club.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Queer women who are rising, who want more out of life, who want
more out of love, who want to live a life of abundance and
fullness of joy. Even before we meet our person,
I'm talking to you. I know this time during the
holidays can be a little challenging because of the

(00:21):
pressures that come with going to holiday events alone or
seeing family that may or may not be supportive of you.
This episode's going to be a little different because it's
actually a recording of me starting a.
Virtual speed. Dating event inside of my
lesbian dating platform Queer Country Club, and the words that
I share were just too impactful to leave it inside for just the

(00:44):
women inside of Queer Country Club.
So it's a little holiday pep talk for you.
You might want to save this episode and play it on your way
to Thanksgiving or Christmas or whatever you celebrate.
Sending you so much love and support.

(01:12):
We're Country Club. Hello.
Oh my goodness. It's going to be a good night.
I hope you're doing well. If this is your first time in
this room, what a moment this is.
This is really special what we do here is so different than
regular speed dating. People ask me all the time,
Sophia, before you did what you.Do did you?

(01:33):
Like hire a matchmaker. Did you go to speed dating?
Nope. No, I just create things.
That's the way I'd want it to bein the world.
And so I want you to know, if this is your first time here,
this is the kind of speed datingthat I would enjoy myself where
you're not actually stuck talking to someone awkwardly
alone. We're going to put you in small
groups. We're going to introduce

(01:55):
incredible VIP women and every single month is different.
So welcome. Welcome.
Your future wife could be in this room if it's your first
time saying hi to me. Hi, I'm Sophia Spolino.
I am a mid 30s, late in life lesbian.
I say it's late because I had tohave the kind of sex that I
didn't want to have for 29 years.
So yeah, now I'm just making up for lost time.

(02:18):
Anyone else? Anyone else making up for lost
time? Just wanting to do it day and
night, day and night. No, just me and my new private
matchmaking point that I had a couple days ago.
OK. I'm so glad you're here.
This is a space that's not like any other, and we're all here
because we want it so bad. Like, if I'm really, really

(02:38):
honest with myself, all I want, like, I feel like I have
everything but the elusive spark, the forever person.
And I promise you that I am doing this because I want it
just as bad as you do. That's why I.
Started Queer Country. Club I love if you drop it in

(02:59):
the chat. How many of you have been
through disappointment after disappointment after
disappointment with women? So much so that if you're like
me in the South and you see, sadly, people have gone through
literal conversion therapy at this point, you're like, I would
put myself through that shit. Like I am really, really upset.
Like my heart has been shattered.

(03:21):
Maybe like me, you've been through a relationship with the
complete textbook. Avoid it.
And like you feel like mind fucked after a girlfriend.
Like it's like, how could someone just like literally like
like everything was a lie. Everything if that's ever
happened to you I want you to know you're in a room with other

(03:42):
women who have been through it and I'm a spiritual lesbian
throw your hands up if you are Idon't care what you believe in
just do you believe in somethingdo you is there like a little
little something out there yes OK so here's the thing I I'll
use the word God, Jesus, universe source.
You fill in the blank for you, honey, but at the end of the
day, the energy of it is if we get into believing in the

(04:06):
evidence that. It's.
Just gonna go bad again or believing in the evidence of
it's just not possible for me 'cause I get it.
Like I'm a data girly. There's data that it's just not
working out. But The thing is, it just
doesn't work out till it does. It just isn't meant to work out
until it does. And so I right now tonight, you

(04:26):
get to choose. So I want to do an energetic
reset. Do I want to be on the side of
momentum that's downhill snowball easy.
Or do I wanna keep pushing and pushing and pushing up and
having to try to do this thing while having a cynical attitude
because worst case scenario, we're single for a bit longer?

(04:47):
I'd rather be single with joy inmy heart and magnetic energy
than not. And tonight I want to flip the
affliction of being single on its head.
I want to actually share something with you.
So let me share my screen. So I got married when I was 24
to a man. Now if you, like me, come from a

(05:09):
family in the South, maybe not. Maybe you just have other
societal pressures. I felt really not good enough
not being married by 24. Oh my God, it was an old maid.
And has anyone else in this roommarried someone or stayed in a
committed relationship longer, whether it was a man or woman,
longer than you were supposed toDrop it in the chat.

(05:30):
Like, oh, my God, I can't believe I did that.
Yeah. Kelly's shaking her head like,
oh, like, this is some shit. Also, you're adorable.
Kelly, Welcome. So glad you're here.
But yes, that was, like, some real shit.
Has anyone felt pressure to stayin a relationship longer than
you should? Maybe, like, you were like, the
fixer in that relationship. That person needed you.

(05:50):
If you left, maybe they would have a mental health crisis.
That's what they made you believe.
All this bullshit, you don't need any of that anymore.
And I just, again, I want to flip it on its head.
We're about to go into the holiday season.
At holiday events, Aunt Sue is gonna look over at Kelly and go,
why are you single, Kelly? Why are you still single?
You got a boyfriend yet? No.

(06:11):
No, Aunt Sue, I don't have a boyfriend.
Well, and then you're thinking to yourself, I don't even have
the girlfriend. Am I gonna go into the whole
thing that I'm gay again and youguys can't accept it?
But no, I actually am waiting onthe right person.
I'm waiting for a line partnership.
And I want you to look around the room, like scroll through
the Zoom room right here, because you will see women.

(06:31):
You will see evidence of women just like you who have broken
and are breaking generational chains because guess what?
You might be the first one to come out in your family, and
that is beautiful, just like me.But maybe, just maybe, beyond
being queer, you're the first tosay no thank you.
I have high standards and I won't be in a relationship that

(06:53):
doesn't elevate both parties. I'm single because I expect more
than you did out of my relationship.
And Sue, I demand respect. And my grandmother says, my
personal grandmother, God bless her, she has dementia.
Now, I don't know how much longer she'll be with us, but
she tells me, and she told me before she had dementia that she

(07:17):
never had an orgasm with my grandfather.
They slept in separate bedrooms for the last 20 years of their
life. And it gets worse and worse.
And she, her dementia is so bad at this point.
She asks me every single time, where's my husband?
I say I don't have a husband. I break it to her that I'm gay.
She covers her face and she goes, oh, Jesus, wouldn't like
that. And then she uncovers her eyes
like clockwork. OK, she can't remember anything.

(07:39):
She sometimes can't remember my name, but she does this every
time she uncovers her eyes and she goes, Jesus wouldn't like
that. But but what's it like with a
woman? And then she lights up, she just
starts smiling so big and, and I, I'm like, the sex is good.
Or if I have a girlfriend, I'll show a picture and she'll be
like, Oh my God, you know, I don't know if I can like this

(07:59):
because Jesus wouldn't like, butshe's pretty and she does it
every single time. Interesting to me because I, I
truly believe in the gay gene. Like I didn't just pop out gay
like someone before me had to come out gay.
But my grandma maybe might be bior might be little lesbian, I'll
never know. I'm not going to define that for

(08:21):
her, but the point is she didn'tget.
The opportunity. And So what a blessing it is
that I get the opportunity to choose who I want to be with,
and I don't have to lock my grandfather out of my room.
I get to be in my own. Beautiful, luxurious, sat in
sheets because I choose to be alone in my room, not because
I'm trapped with some man in my house that I don't even want to
be with. And maybe your parents fought

(08:44):
and fought and fought, but your mom stayed in a relationship
that you had to see her suffer through.
But you don't have to. And so you're here.
You're single because you choosethat, because you're choosing
better, because you're breaking the generational chains.
And you're here because you're queer, and we didn't choose

(09:06):
that. But we're so.
Lucky that we. Get to be.
That out loud, and in a generation where they didn't, or
maybe the older women here, maybe you couldn't be that out.
Loud. 20 years ago, 30 years ago, 50 years ago, whatever it
is, because I've got clients from typically 35 to like 75 at
this point. Being single doesn't have to be

(09:27):
terrible tonight. It can be a badge of honor
because we're choosing this pathbecause we demand more.
And so when you go into the holidays starting with
Thanksgiving and you get questioned why you're single,
it's because I, I expect better.And I, I'm waiting for my future
partner. I'm waiting for the one that God
hand carved for me that I believe is out there.

(09:51):
And I won't settle for anything less for a minute.
And you can smile knowing like you don't have to say it out
loud, but like you're looking ather like you did girl.
Your, your face shows it like it's been a struggle bus of a
life 'cause you stayed with someone that wasn't good to you.
And I don't have to do that anyway.
I just thought that'd be a good perspective shift.
And also tonight your future wife could be in this room.

(10:13):
She could, at the very least tonight, I want you to step into
this space energetically, choosing to be here with an open
heart and know about like anything could happen.
And even if tonight you just make a friend and you slide into
someone's DMS as a friend later,which you can do.
QCC has built friendships for people that have gotten them

(10:35):
through the shits. OK, there's a lot of friendships
to be made here. Maybe that friend introduces you
to someone, or maybe you go to Friendsgiving.
We have women hopefully hosting Friendsgiving around the country
through QCC. If you don't have a family that
supports you, look at that thread.
See if someone in your area is hosting A Friendsgiving that you
can go to and be a part of, you could meet someone there who's

(11:00):
not even in Queer Country Club. I just pray that God uses me
somehow to get you to wherever you need to be because I
sincerely believe that even though and I have been suffering
going through a breakup for the past couple months.
If it wasn't the door, the end all be all door that we're
looking for, then we must trust that it is the door to the door

(11:23):
to the door. Can you put that in the chat?
It's the door to the door. If you are claiming that for
yourself and you're going to choose to see this as an
opportunity to grow, an opportunity to learn and an
opportunity for better because God universe source.
The good Lord never just says nowithout having something better
for you. I know the plans I have for you

(11:45):
declares the Lord plans to give you hope and a future.
We choose hope. I don't care what your religious
background is, if you're not choosing to have a little hope
about your dating life, then it's it's just like you're
you're staying in a stuck energyand we're not choosing that
tonight. Tonight we are choosing
something more. So it's the door to the door to

(12:07):
the door. When you go on social media this
week or you're in Queer Country Club this week, I want you to
post something that says the door to the door to the door and
it'll be our inside joke and tagme, OK?
Because that is the kind of energy and hope that we're going
into this night with and into 2026 because it's.
OK, OK, this is Sophia in real time now.
We were just listening to a recording of what it's like when

(12:30):
you join Meet Your Future Wife live virtual speed dating event
inside of the Queer Country Club, my monogamous lesbian
dating platform. I couldn't help but play that
because I feel like someone who wasn't in that room needed to
hear those words. Getting prepared for the
holidays and being able to flip,as I call it, the affliction of

(12:52):
singleness on its head and remembering and having gratitude
that we are getting to choose tobe single.
And what a the privilege it is that we get to choose our
partners, and we get to choose our partners wisely, because who
we choose may very well be the most important decision we ever
make in our entire lives. So to choose wisely and to not

(13:15):
be in a rush to choose and to choose from the best women, to
put ourselves at tables with themost incredible, driven,
purposeful women in the world iswhat we get to do.
And so if you're going into the holiday single as I am, may

(13:38):
remember that we are worthy of holiday cheer, peace, abundance
of joy, love and gratitude for. Ourselves that are.
Whole our lives that are full and our hearts that are complete
in our singleness, but also be stepping in to the very best

(14:04):
versions of our self and not waiting to 2026 to do it.
If you're listening to this and you are single and you're like,
I want 2026 to be different, youcan take that very next step now
by shooting me over Adm that says feature wife, letting me
know what you're looking for. And I'll tell you if you're a
good fit for queer Country Club private matchmaking or if you're

(14:26):
still in the healing phase and wanting some rejuvenation,
coming on a luxury lesbian retreat where you can also meet
single women. If you want something different
in 2026, you have to do something different in 2026.
As I am, I've been a little workaholic.
I'm going to be challenging myself to go out on more dates
than ever this year. If we want something different,

(14:50):
we have to do it. It starts now, it starts with
us, and it starts with not beingafraid of trying again, as I
said, and that recording. As for me, I will never, never
be afraid to open my heart because in order to feel and in
order to create the magic, we must be willing to open our

(15:11):
hearts again. And we can open our hearts
wiser, and we can open our hearts smarter, and we can date
smarter. But ultimately, we have to be
willing to step onto that new path to give someone a new
chance to make way for new love.And if that's what you want,
that is what you will take action on and that is what you

(15:35):
will get. If you feel led to work with me,
DM me Future Wife or visit queercountryclub.com.
You can tap over to Luxury Lesbian retreats there.
You can tap into private matchmaking services if you're
more discreet and want the luxury experience rather than
spending time on any platform. But if you are looking for a

(15:58):
community in a club of monogamous women and you are
open to getting on the most extraordinary platform out there
for monogamous lesbians, you canapply to join Queer Country Club
at queercountryclub.com. It may be, just maybe I'll see
you and our next Meet Your Future Wife Live our live
coaching calls that are includedin your membership when you join

(16:19):
Queer Country Club, have an amazing holiday season, whatever
you celebrate and have the happiest, most love filled New
Year. The.

(17:36):
None.