Toxic Moments, Lesbian Love, and Prenups - A Lesbian Love Story With Stacey & Alice - Queer Women Rising® with Sophia Spallino | Finding Lesbian Love and Dodging Dating Drama

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
From first ever messages to hitting huge relationship
milestones like going into business together and prenups,
everything started on a dating platform.
I love these kind of lesbian love stories.
Welcome back to KU room and rising.
I'm your host Sofia Spilino. I talk about dodging the dating
drama and interview lesbians whohave exactly what we're all

(00:21):
looking for, lesbian love. The real love, the good stuff.
And today's guests are going to go deep into a story that tells
the nitty gritty details of likethe unhealthy parts of their
dating relationship down to their beautiful engagement and
now prenups and building businesses together.
Because if you're listening to this podcast, I'm assuming like

(00:45):
the women in my lesbian dating platform, the Queer Country
Club, you're not like super young lesbian.
We typically see women 30 and upinside, even up until ages 70.
And at that point in life, you built a life for yourself.
And you're looking for not just someone that you find
attractive, but who aligns with your values and what you want

(01:06):
out of life. And you've probably already
built a great life for yourself.So prenups may be a part of the
conversation. This episode is for you.
Before I get into telling you about my gas, just a little
update. I'm so grateful.
I just came back a few days ago from my very first ever queer
Country Club retreat, where I hung out with a handful of

(01:27):
incredible, extraordinary lesbians who came in with open
hearts, whether that was to findlove or experience personal
development on another level. Every retreat looks different,
but we get massages, facials, and have time for spiritual
guidance. I got to have individual

(01:47):
sessions with each person who came.
We did all kinds of light activities.
We had gourmet food. We it was a tipless environment.
We were just basking in the easyluxury of Canyon Ranch.
If this is something that you'reinterested in, please DM me on
Instagram and say the word retreat.
If we don't have any openings, Iwill put you on the wait list.

(02:08):
The wait list is getting pretty long, so make sure you're on it
so you'll be the first to get notified.
We will go in order of who was on it first to release the next
one. I'm coming back on Cloud 9.
The women who came to this firstretreat were so beautiful inside

(02:29):
and out, and we got so vulnerable together, incredibly
vulnerable. It was deep, conversations were
revealing and and hard when it came to the things that hurt us.
But what we realized throughout all of it is we're pretty much

(02:49):
all the same. Even though we may look
different, have slightly different lives, we've gone
through a lot of the same experiences and being able to
look at your sisters in the eye and connect deeply.
And maybe maybe that turns into a romantic connection.
Maybe it doesn't. But to connect deeply, to see
someone and be seen, to look at them and tell them the things

(03:13):
that you love about them. To tell them about their dreams
and how you can mirror them backto them.
To hold them in their greatest sorrow.
When we're witnessing each other's pain and we can point to
a future that is beautiful, a future that we're all working
towards, that is what it's like to be at the right table.

(03:36):
If you're struggling to find lesbians, you align with
lesbians, you'd actually want a date.
You would love to be inside one of these retreats.
It is an epic experience. My heart is full, full and so is
my tummy. That was delicious.
Anyway, enough about the Queer Country Club retreats.
I'm obsessed with them. My heart sings.

(03:57):
I actually get to hang out with you guys.
It's I'm just this girl on the Internet and it's cool to
actually exist with you and hangout with you and get to know you
and watch you get to know each other.
So thank you ladies. You know who you are for giving
me that beautiful first experience.

(04:18):
And I'm so excited for our next retreat.
OK, today's guest, they go deep with me and they don't even
hesitate when I ask them hard questions.
I'm going to read you their bio,OK, Some love stories for like
Destiny and today's guests are proof that sometimes the
universe gives you exactly what you need, whether you're ready
or not. We all know about that.
Stacey and Alice met on a datingapp, only to realize they've

(04:40):
been walking the same universityhalls all along.
Their shared love for fitness, food and travel has only
deepened over their eight, almost nine year relationship.
No, I'm not kidding. That can actually happen for US.
Women can fall in love and buildhealthy relationships, lasting
relationships. And I was really excited to get
into their head and see what makes them tick and what's made

(05:01):
this relationship last for nine years.
They are passionate about healthcare, patient advocacy.
They have a great purpose. They're building business
together. But we need to know, what does
it actually take to stay on the test of time?
And what have they learned alongthe way?
Welcome to the show, Stacey and Alice.

(05:22):
Let's get into it. I'm so glad you're here.
I put the L in the LGBTQ. So I always start by asking my
guests, what letter of the alphabet soup are you?
Who wants to go first? We are.
Well, I'm a lesbian, obviously. I'm Stacy and I'm capital letter
L for lesbian as well. I love it, I love it.

(05:42):
How long did you know you were OK?
I am exclusively a lesbian. Before you met each other.
Before we met each other, I feellike it took me.
I feel like I looking back I'm like OK, I was definitely
slaving lesbian since basically birth, but I probably didn't
realize it till so maybe high school.

(06:04):
So maybe like 1415 and then I met her when we were, well, when
I was like 2425, so. I've been.
So I'd have been a bit. I love that I've I kind of get
jealous when I hear people say they figured it out in high
school the decade later for me. What about you?

(06:26):
A dumbled mess, though, so it's rainbows and butterflies.
But I mean, looking back, I'm like, well, at least I have
that. And, and you're right, I mean,
experience helps a bunch. So definitely, yeah.
I think no matter what, because of what we're taught in society,
it's always going to be a littlechallenging.
So even if it looks easier to me, the internal struggles are

(06:50):
always there, especially depending on where you were
brought up. Where are you guys from?
Well, I'm, I'm originally from Miami, FL and super traditional
Hispanic family, grew up Catholic, went to Catholic
school literally my whole life up until the end of high school
and probably would have sent me to a college that was private as

(07:11):
well. But I had a little bit more
autonomy. So I was just like, no, I mean,
I stayed local but but it's verytraditional in my family.
So definitely lots of lots of hard conversations.
How did how did those go? Like are they accepting or are
they celebrating or are they notacknowledging?

(07:32):
So I feel for like the most part, my media family, they've
gotten to a place where they're accepting and they're really
welcoming now. So, I mean, I don't want to skip
too much ahead, but we had been away.
Well, we met not here in Florida.
We kind of just moved back to Florida to be closer to family
and start being a lot more involved in things like, but
super nice, like my nieces call her aunt or Thea.

(07:55):
So so it is, it's it's a place that when I was younger, I was
like, there's no way that's evergoing to happen.
And now that I'm living it, sometimes like I do have to
pinch myself and remind myself like everything really is like a
journey and we just have to kindof you'll get there.
Maybe not in your timeline, but you'll get there.
You know, definitely there's still, there's still lots of

(08:15):
work to be done, I guess you cansay, but it's a lot of, I guess
internal struggles. And I mean, she's seeing it more
now that we're closer to my family here where I'm constantly
like, oh, like good daughter or like good significant other.
Like there's lots of still like fuzziness sometimes.
So I really want to push the boundary today, you know?

(08:37):
I love that. I love that you're being honest
about it. Do you guys want to share one of
those a really intimate relationship moments?
Because I can think there's a woman that I've been going out
with. She's been out of the closet for
30 years. Yet when we went to Disney World
together, she was like, there's kids around.
We like shouldn't hold hands. And I was like, what?

(09:00):
I go out and then and then it was like, oh, there, like I got
her to hold hands. She'd be like, there's kids
around. I shouldn't kiss you.
I'm like, we're not making out like anyone else can give their
person a kid. So it was really interesting
because I have not witnessed this homophobia in so long.
And someone who is so established, so sure, never

(09:23):
question their sexuality once they come out, everyone knows
they're out. But yet there is the the
internalized homophobia that comes out as we interact with
family, as we interact with kidsbecause not because of anything
within us, but because we're afraid, like we're
overcompensating for people's projections.
And I know this because I have alittle niece and nephew and I

(09:46):
went through shit as a kid and I'm like, if anyone touches
them, I will like, it will be a murder.
I will be in jail. So because of all the
internalized homophobia and people being like, gay people
are bad, the moment we get around our families, it's like
we're on high alert. So we could be just accepted by
our families. I hope this is making sense to

(10:06):
you guys and other people listening and it almost it feels
weird to say but it's true and Ifind myself like being extra
just a high alert for for no reason other than I never want
to be accused of doing somethinglike inappropriate in front of a
kid like kissing my partner. Yeah, it's definitely, I feel

(10:31):
like I can relate to that a lot.I did grow up in a smallish
city. I don't want to call it a small
town, but I also grew up in the outskirts of that small city.
But to me, I came out in middle school as pansexual at 1st and
it was so innocent to me. Like my friends accepted it.
Like it was not an issue. We didn't even know much, you

(10:52):
know, but I was like, no, like I'm I, I don't, I don't see
gender, you know, like I'm like,I just love people.
Eventually, as the years, I guess like progressed, I started
realizing that like homophobia in society.
I was lucky that my parents, I was around trans people since I

(11:13):
was really small and you know, like it wasn't like my immediate
blood related family, but they were like my family, you know,
like I read them as my aunts andmy uncles and it was nothing
weird to me. As I grew old, that's when I
started realizing it. And I feel like I was like a
turtle and I came into my shell and I was like, no, no, no, this

(11:34):
is like weird. I should be straight.
And I dated men for a little bit.
I mean, I guess boys because I was like in high school.
And as. Soon as I came out of high
school and I went to college, I started learning more just like
from like classes, which sounds like really crazy.
No same. Yeah.

(11:54):
And I was like, wait. I was like, I knew this all
along since I was a child. I just didn't have the words to
explain it. And so to me, it, it has been
like what you're saying is like totally relatable.
I, I have that like hyper vigilance sometimes of being too
much right, of being too close. And I'm like, wait, but why?

(12:15):
You know, like nobody has told us anything.
Nobody has said anything. But we grow up thinking since
society thinks that way, well then everybody around me should
probably or probably has that like ugly misconception of us.
So, yeah, and I mean, lots of people that you're, you grew up
with, your family hangs out with, like they probably share

(12:36):
some sort of same views on some things.
So you would assume, I mean, when you're small, you're like,
everybody just thinks this way, you know, and I mean, like I
said, I went to Catholic school,so I had to memorize like all
these things that were like everything going against.
So basically who I am today. So it, it definitely was a
process and I feel like still a journey that I'm not sure

(12:58):
there's, there's an end to it. Cause certain situations come up
and I'm like, oh, OK, how, how am I going to handle this?
You know, but I feel like it's definitely one of the things
that I, I do love about Alice where she does help me kind of
like come to terms with it in a more gentle and patient way
versus just like in my head. Sometimes it's very like black

(13:21):
or white. I'm like, no, it's, I have to
pick right now. And like, if that means that
it's very drastic stuff and she's like, Hey, it doesn't, you
know, just because you chose yestoday to maybe set a boundary
with a family member today, it doesn't have to be a yes again.
I think we also have to pick certain times that, you know, we
feel strong or sometimes ready enough and maybe or vulnerable

(13:42):
enough to be like, OK, today I can maybe lean into that a bit
more. You know, maybe tomorrow I have.
I get that, I get that a lot. And I one thing that's really
been interesting is just when you think things are great with
your family, there could be something that is just so
offensive that like it shakes everything and everything you

(14:04):
work towards, all the progress you've made, all the closeness
you've made is just shattered 'cause you're like, oh, you
think that like, like especiallywith what we're going through
with politics and stuff, it's like how I'm literally at a loss
and it's earth shattering to me that people can be ugly to each

(14:26):
other in these ways, especially when I am not.
It's there'll be things that aresaid that are just disgusting
and standing up for yourself in a very peaceful way shouldn't
evoke radicalized anger, but it does.
And that is shocking to me and something that I've been

(14:47):
experiencing again and I'm hey, it's just God teaching me
forgiveness again and again, I suppose.
But I'm just, I'm like, wait, we, we had made so much progress
and where are we? What is this?
So anyway, y'all are looking at me like you've experienced this
too. So.
Yeah, yeah, it's, and like I mentioned, since we just, we

(15:08):
just moved to Florida, I mean, less than a year ago we were
living in Texas. It was just her and I, I mean,
her family's closer to Texas, but it was, it was our little
bubble for like almost 10 years.You know.
So that was super nice. I mean, we took it for granted,
'cause now we moved here and we're like, Oh my goodness, like
now we're like fish out of water.

(15:28):
We're like, wait a minute. We really like, like she said.
We have to like, come into our shell sometimes and be like, OK,
wait a minute. Like, I guess we don't feel
maybe as confident or as secure in certain situations here like
we did, you know, up in a place that we called home.
We. Don't have that yet, even though
my family's here, I have friendshere.
But but like you said, certain situations have come up now

(15:51):
where you're like politics and family, you're like this.
It's never good, right? It's.
Never good. Yeah, and we it's easy to take
things personal and hard to be like, I'm just gonna let you
have that, you know, like whatever you feel is you.
And that's not me. But sometimes it it does feel
like it's like fingers pointed and you're just like, I was just

(16:13):
trying to start a conversation here.
Like, let's go, you know, and sometimes you're not ready to to
have these like heated fights orarguments or conversations.
You're just like, it doesn't have to be the serious.
And if it is, then let me know. And you know, we won't have that
conversation anymore because I don't want to have it.
And if you do, find someone else. 100% like I've set strong,

(16:36):
strong boundaries of family being like certain things I
don't want in the group chat like do not put it there.
The group chats for lifting eachother up, for being a fan club
of each other. And the response I got to that
was just shocking. And I'm like, no, this is a fan.
This is like a group chat I started because I travel the

(16:57):
most. This is a fan club for us to
share of each other's accomplishments, like our own
little feet, essentially. And it's not for politics.
And like you do you, I do me. I would never put that in here.
So yeah, it wasn't responded toowell.
And I've just learned you've gotto just set the boundary and
people won't always like it. And it is what it is.

(17:21):
So yeah, living in the South, you guys know what?
Let's talk about your love story.
That's like, happy. And I know that there's been
challenges, but I'm curious because you've done something
that I aspire to have, which is have a long relationship.
You guys have been together for what, over eight years?
Yeah, this year's going to be 9.It's been a few months, nine

(17:42):
years. Gosh, like that is first of all,
so rare and beautiful. But in lesbian world really
challenging because I, I was going through statistics the
other day, there's 2.4 women in America who identify as a
lesbian. So like there's a lot of queer
women, but like women who are really ready to settle actually

(18:03):
might have been 1.4. I need to look back at that
content and see what's right. But either way, a really small
number who know, like I want to live and die with the woman.
And out of that, you've got different types, you have
different values. So you really don't.
Yes. So when you find a love like
Stacy and Alice, you hold on to it.

(18:23):
Tell us your love story. How did it all begin?
So we it all began online. We went online and we started
chatting but we didn't it wasn'treally flirtatious and that was
my fault because I was very awkward I think say and she kept

(18:46):
flirting with me but I wouldn't get the hint.
Like I would just say the most randomest things to you.
And she really wanted to meet me.
And I was really nervous becauseto me I was like she's like so
out of my league. Like, I was like, like, I can't
believe this girl exists. And so I kept avoiding meeting
you for like a really. Long time.
I felt like at least two months and I was after I got to a point

(19:08):
where I was just like, OK, like what's happening here?
Like I, you know, let's let's define this.
What are we doing? Like, you want to be friends?
That's fine. But like, I'm over here spitting
game per SE. Like, let me not waste that, you
know, but but to kind of paint her in a better picture, I think
right before she got on on this dating site, she had just

(19:30):
switched over, I guess the setting to women.
So she was also still like dipping her little feet in, you
know, and here comes me. I'm like, all right, let's go.
And she's like, whoa, whoa. Yeah, And I had dated girls, but
this was like, back in high school.
And nothing really happened. It was just like, hey, you want
to be my girlfriend? And I was like, yeah, sure.
You know, like, thanks for asking.

(19:52):
And so we ended up meeting at a mall.
Yeah, she told me she was working one day, and she had
already told me where she worked.
So I was like, I'm just going toshow up.
Like I'm going to bombard her. That's toxic.
But I was like, OK, I like, I need to know what's happening
here. But to my defense, I will say
that I was volunteering for a group and they were going to be

(20:13):
at the same exact place. So I was like.
I just have to like literally she was upstairs and I was
downstairs so. Oh my gosh.
Yeah, so I was like, I have to do this.
So I finally, like messaged her.I'm like, hey, I'm literally
gonna walk up to wherever you'reat.
And she, I mean, she was, she was there.
Her mom was there. Yeah, she met my mom the 1st

(20:33):
when I met her, she met my mom. One of.
My my mom's friends that I called uncle and aunt and
somewhat like, it was like a bunch of people like that were,
you know, close to us that she met that day.
And I worked at like a hair product place.
So I was like talking to her about her hair.
She had the most gorgeous hair I've ever seen.

(20:56):
And we ended up. She finally started flirting.
I will say then she started flirting more.
It was more like, I was like, isshe, she a really good like
salesperson here 'cause I'm like, OK, I'll buy it, you know,
But I felt more of the connection there.
So I was like, OK, this can definitely move on.
And then, you know, afterwards I, I asked her if she wanted to,
to go on a second date and she, she agreed.

(21:19):
So we met up, I think a few dayslater and yeah, we're still
here. So your first date you sold her
products? Well, she didn't.
I didn't. Buy it.
But it was literally in my head initially.
I was like, wow, like she's I don't know if I'm like the the
one here or just what's going onhere.
She's selling me a product or like, is she the product?

(21:42):
Oh it's so sweet. OK so when your mom saw you guys
meet each other, did your mom know the dynamic and was she OK
with you meeting up with the girl in a romantic way?
No, she didn't know but it, but I think at that point I was, I
felt like I was old enough to belike, you know, what do I have
to explain myself like? Yeah, I know.

(22:03):
People should have never assumedthat I was straight.
I never said it. So at that point I was like,
whatever. I didn't RIP the Band-Aid to my
mom until way later. But at that moment, like, I was
like, whatever, you know, like I'm just gonna, I mean, if this
girl would have kissed me right at the kiosk that I was at, I
think I would have kissed you back.
I know. You know, like I would be like,

(22:25):
ah, whatever, you know? But yeah.
That is beautiful so you realizehow close in proximity you are.
You start dating and typical lesbian fashion, you're a Velcro
together for life. Basically, yeah, I mean a few, a
few important details there. Like this was, I was graduating

(22:48):
from my master's. So I was, I mean, I didn't, I
had a job, but it wasn't paying too well.
It's kind of enough just to makeends meet while I was over
there. So I needed a place to live for
a bit after I graduated, found aplace, whatever.
And at this point, she, she thought after she graduated
college that she wanted to go tomedical school, but in Mexico.

(23:12):
So time goes by, we're like, whatever, we're dating, having
fun, blah, blah, blah. And finally, she's like, I'm
still going to go to Mexico. Oh my God.
Yeah, so we, I mean, we had lotsof discussions as best we could
at that time, right? We have no idea what to expect.
And we did, we did break up for a little bit.

(23:34):
It didn't last long. Like typical lesbian fashion.
Anyway I. Did leave fashion.
Go to Mexico. And it did like a few months,
right? Not the breakup because we did
break up. I left to Mexico and then we got
back together, even though I wasin Mexico and for one reason or
another, the school wasn't for me.

(23:54):
But I feel like when I left, notthat I was like, are you going
to ask me to like, stay? But I was kind of like dangling
it like, I'm leaving. I'm going to leave.
Like, Are you ready? Like, you know that, Like, are
you OK that I'm like leaving? And she was like, of course I
support you and your dreams. And I was like.
Yeah, me tucked away my feelingsbecause I was like, it's not my

(24:16):
place to I don't. I didn't want her to stay like
for me, I was like, do you need to do like whatever you feel you
need to do? And you know, whatever happens,
happens. Like I, I still want to be with
you. But I mean, we'll take it day by
day. And obviously she didn't like
to, to hear that. But as much as I and I told her
afterwards, I was like, as much as I wanted to be like, no,
don't, don't go like just stay. We'll figure it out.

(24:37):
Or maybe I'll figure out a way to go over there.
But I I didn't say anything. I would have been just like her,
just I would have been like waiting for you to say I'm going
to find a way to get there, all these things.
And I would have probably done the breakup.
But no, we would actually get back together just to like make

(24:58):
you realize, like, come on, chase me.
But I'm all about like that Princess dynamic, which is
probably not even super healthy,to be honest.
So yeah, that. So how long did it take until
you get back together? Like 2 days or three days?
No, I feel like it took a while,like a month maybe.

(25:19):
Yeah, but I mean like we, you know, we tried the typical like
no contact and then. Like, that lasted for like a
day. Yeah, yeah.
We were like, in our toxic stateback then for sure, which is
also probably why it wasn't likea conversation of, hey, should I
stay? Because we knew that the next
conversation would be if I stay,then what?

(25:39):
Like, yeah, then what? And we didn't have a what?
Yeah, we really were just like enjoying each other's company
and like living for the moment. It wasn't really.
And even if we individually thought about like maybe a
future, it was so like, it really was just like, yeah,
living in the moment, enjoying each other, like until
basically, I mean, she, she goesaway.

(26:02):
Like she said a few months later, she comes back, 'cause
literally 1 bad thing after another bad thing after another
bad thing was happening in Mexico.
So she comes back, she stays with her mom a little.
We're dating. And then finally I was like, I
mean, I'm staying here solo. You're going to your mom.
Like, let's, let's discuss this.Like what's gonna happen?

(26:23):
And like if, if we want to move forward, like, let's just move
in. So it.
Was a pretty quick transition too.
Like I, I don't like to move fast per SE 'cause I, I usually,
I mean, prior here I was like, let's go, let's go, let's go,
let's go. But I was like, that's obviously
not working. So I didn't want to take my time
with certain things, but it really was like the perfect

(26:45):
opportunity, I guess you can sayto just be like, like, what are
we doing here? If anything, we're spending more
money like. Going.
Forth doing all these things andwhen we could just be
cohabitating or any like and I I'm sorry.
Oh like how long was that into your relationship where you end
up moving in? So we started dating in 2016

(27:06):
like mid 2016 and then I left toMexico like what like 2 months?
After maybe like 3-4 months after and then.
And then I came back in January of 2017 and we started living
together right off the bat. So like when she says the

(27:28):
transition was crazy, like it really was because I had never
lived with anybody except for like my mom, who's my best
friend. And it's like, like, you know,
telling her that I was like leaving was so daunting to me.
But luckily my, it's going to sound weird, but my mom moved
out first. And so yeah.

(27:49):
So then she was like, hey, you know, like, what, what do you
want to do? And I was like, no, mom, don't
worry, I got it. And so I was like, hey, like,
let's move in together. Let's find a place.
We didn't have a job. We didn't have anything.
We didn't have a plan. Like we.
We didn't. It sounds bad, but I mean, we
joke about it now, but we, we like 'cause some of these

(28:09):
places, I'm sure a lot of these places now, they require you to
make like three times the rent and you're like, I barely make
one time the rent. Like who I was in college?
Who who can force graduated? Yeah.
So we had to sign some other papers basically like we're a
liability to them. But we ended up like just
getting, well, like I said, I had I had gotten a place and
then she just moved in. So obviously it helped out.

(28:30):
But I feel like that was also a pretty pivotal moment for us
looking back where we finally were at the point where we're
like, OK, bills are coming, things are coming.
Like it's, we can't just hang out and like be glued together
all day as much as we are don't get paid for that.
So, you know, we started taking things like super serious.

(28:51):
I got, well, I passed my boards exam, 'cause I'm, I'm not
occupational therapist. So I passed my board exam,
started working immediately, like 2-3 jobs.
She was finishing school. So she she actually had to ask
the Dean to sign a paper that said, I'm, I'm a volunteering
taking more classes than you guys recommend because she we,

(29:11):
we were like, we need a Fast forward lot.
To finish that degree, yeah. So she finished it in a few
months, but. During that I had like what,
like two different jobs and likethe crappiest jobs you could.
I don't even know if I could trace here, but you know, like
the most like absurd jobs, like bad at them too.
Like I tried being a server. I tried being a bartender, I was

(29:34):
really bad but I was like hey I need to make ends meet.
Like even if I'm making like waybelow like minimum right now.
Like I just need a job that can accommodate me and my student
hours. Yeah.
We made it. That's beautiful and also so
rare that it would work out without knowing each other well

(29:55):
enough to you know it. It would be very easy for one
person to go, I'm stepping up. I realize what needs to be done
and for the other one to just not be on that say wavelength
and life. But it sounds like you guys both
stepped up, rose to the occasionand we're like look, I want to
do life with you and we're goingto make it work.
And now y'all are both successful, which is amazing.

(30:16):
And it comes from hard work and honestly just doing even the
things you don't want to do to get there.
Totally get that. One thing you said that really
just made me take a pause and I want to know more is you said we
were in our toxic phase. So apparently, OK, real quick, I

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You're welcome. OK, back to the show.
Apparently you can have a healthy relationship, long
lasting relationship, even if you go through toxicity.
I'm not. If you're listening to this and
you're going through a toxic relationship, I'm not giving you
permission for someone to treat you bad or for you to treat
someone else bad. But maybe you love someone like

(33:09):
Stacey and Alice did and there'sa way to make it work.
So what can you tell me what toxicity look like?
Was it screaming at each other? Was it, was it manipulation?
Like what was it? And then how did you guys get
out of that cycle? Because to me, that's pretty
rough to get out of once you disrespect someone.
Yeah, that's a good question. You want to start?

(33:30):
Yeah, I feel. Like our toxicity really was
because we didn't take each other seriously.
So we kept prioritizing a bunch of things over each other.
Like for me, it was my schoolingand for you it was your like
your career. So that created a lot of like, I
want to say like resentment, butlike miscommunication.

(33:51):
And so we would get into like arguments a lot because of that.
And every single time we got into arguments, it would be
really easy to break up. So what?
Was the toxicity. Of like not being able to have
an argument and being like, hey,arguments are normal in
relationship it doesn't mean that we're not supposed to be
together. I mean healthy arguments, right?

(34:12):
Like right even. If they escalate.
To maybe like, I don't know, like saying like mean things,
but you know, like, still that argumentative phase, we couldn't
get out of it. And so it was like a snowball.
So like now we were arguing for the one thing, but we were also
arguing because we argued yesterday and you know what I
mean? Like that snowball effect, like

(34:33):
and last week and last month andthis and you do this.
So it took us a while to get outof that.
Like, and I think it took like forgiveness and like flexibility
to also understand the other person because sometimes you say
things that you don't wanna, like you don't mean to be
hurtful, but you don't know how the other person is taking it.
And sometimes we also take things personally, like she she

(34:56):
said A, and I took it as ABC because of my own, like,
insecurities, like, because of my problems.
And so now I'm like, you just called me dumb.
And she never even said the worddumb.
And so sometimes that took, at least for me, a lot of growth
into being like, did Stacy say this or did Alice interpret

(35:16):
this? And now he's blaming Stacy?
Yeah. Yeah, I feel like, I mean, and
what that looked like at times like screaming or yelling as I
feel like we are pretty passionate people.
So we also got to that level sometimes in our argument.
And I mean, we started dating inour early 20s basically.

(35:36):
So plus alcohol, plus like partyenvironment, like it's easy to
get caught up on the wrong things.
And I mean, you kind of see it everywhere.
Like don't no matter where you're going out.
Like there's lots of selfishness, I guess you can say
in a way. And, and I mean, I know I
definitely was super selfish, like I said, I was, we basically
didn't communicate a lot about the future because like she

(35:58):
said, we didn't really take eachother serious for a bit.
It took us a while to kind of get to the point where it's
like, huh, OK, we're we're stillhere.
Like The thing is. Obviously keeping us.
Here, even though, you know, at times we were like crying or
being like, Oh my God, I hate you so much.
And, and I mean like what she said about sometimes just just
the way we would, we would argue, you know, I, I, I try to

(36:22):
not to say like any hurtful names or things like that,
something as even small as like stupid.
But sometimes the way sometimes my head would go around it is
you're being stupid right now. And she'd be like, you just
called me stupid and I'm like, Icouldn't call you stupid.
Like and then we just argue about that like silly, very
small things where we we. Didn't know how.
To have that communication, I mean, and then like she said it,

(36:45):
it took us a lot to kind of get to a point where we were able to
let our guards down. And, and we did start that
process of basically like personal and self growth.
Like I remember I told you initially in the beginning where
I was like, we had our own bubble.
Like once we realized like we'rebuilding this bubble and we're
putting layer upon layer upon layer over this bubble, we were

(37:07):
like, OK, now, I mean, that's when we started like audio books
together. That's when we started going to
the gym together. That's, and each of those
things, even though initially wedidn't do them to, to get a
connection, they obviously brought us together because we
were doing something together and we would either discuss it
or at the gym, we'd be like, oh man, my arms are so sore.

(37:27):
I can't even like lift it. And, and we'd both be able to,
to laugh about it because again,it's something we're both
experiencing at the same time. She's right there with me when
I'm running like it again, it I didn't think it through when we
started these these things, but now those are some of my, my
favorite moments when we do go out and run together, 'cause
it's, it's, it's literally intentional time together.

(37:51):
We are not. I'm not.
Doing anything? You're right here.
I'm right here like that's it. This is time to me that's.
The greatest, Yeah, it's the greatest luxury of life to do
those downtime activities together.
And I think some people probablystart like, oh, we're going to
listen to this podcast together to try to be better or whatever.

(38:12):
But it sounds like you guys organically every step of the
way, just we're making the rightdecisions without even truly
thinking about it hard. And that just speaks the true
alignment of like just followingyour desire, which was naturally
for each other and what you wanted for life because you
weren't like trying to make eachother into something.

(38:33):
That's pretty cool to hear you put that.
I think it's. It's, it's very simple the way
you put it. But but yeah, I mean the
selfishness, like we, we were growing individually and
eventually we would get to a point where like we either hit a
wall or something. Like, I, I mean, I, I think both
of us now probably consider ourselves lifelong learners in
the sense that, you know, we, wetry to just dive into whatever

(38:56):
we can and keep learning about something, whether it's, you
know, content creating or running or lately it's been
great. Well, yeah, I guess you could
say lately we just started, but a lot more like personal growth
in regards to like communication.
So one of the things that, you know, kind of helped us out to
kind of like start growing in different aspects was we we

(39:18):
basically just started talking about it.
Like we were like, let's start writing down our goals.
And then we again, we, this was new to us, you know, we didn't
follow someone. No, no, nobody in our family was
doing this. Like I, we probably heard it on
audio book. And we were like, let's start
implementing some of these things.
And obviously it's hard when youimplement anything to, to be

(39:38):
consistent. But we started seeing, we
started seeing the returns on it, you know, whether it was,
let's be intentional about our travel.
What do we want to do? OK, we would plan a travel trip
and we literally would do everything on the trip.
And we were like, that was the best vacation ever, 'cause we
literally knew what we wanted todo.
We, we went to it like it worked.
We did everything we wanted to do.

(40:00):
And we again, we just copy the formula and apply it to a new
area. And I love that.
Yeah, that personal growth. That helped us a lot, yeah.
Sounds like. It did.
It sounds like y'all have great communication.
What about after eight years, nine years now, keeping the
spark alive? Like having attraction and

(40:23):
having your needs met. How frequently you expect sex
from each other? What does that look like?
Is that open conversation? Definitely an open.
Conversation, we believe that what doesn't get like, what
doesn't get scheduled doesn't get done, right.
So it sounds really weird to be like, hey, we schedule
everything and we're not rigid with our schedule, but we do try

(40:47):
to plan things. We have a lot of check insurance
every two weeks. We check in not with each other,
not just physically, but like also emotionally.
Like we ask each other like basically like how we're doing,
how we feel about this, if there's been any changes and,
and not only is there any changes, but be accepting of

(41:07):
those changes. We've changed a bunch throughout
the years, like so many times, and we haven't been In Sync with
our changes, but every single time that we change, our core
values have stayed the same and aligned.
And to me, I'm not like a huge planner or you know, stuff like
that. To me, it is like how you say

(41:29):
like it. I just follow my desire, like I
follow my passion. And since very early on in the
relationship with Stacy, there had been like weird instances
where we ran into each other in like, just like random places
that we would have never expected to run into each other.
And that to me was like, I'm nota believer in anything.

(41:51):
I have a science background. So to me, it's really hard to be
spiritual and believe in something that I can't read a
bunch of papers on. But to me, I was like, what is
this? Like, I can't believe that I I'm
pumping gas and she's in the pump next to me.
Like that's, that was like too weird, you know, like, and this
wasn't within what like the first months of meeting each

(42:14):
other. So to me, it has to me every
time that Stacy's like, Hey, I want to run.
To me, it's not a question of like, Oh, I support you in your
running. Like go on, like bye.
You know, like to me I'm like, yeah, let's you know, and and I
love that that she brings that passion of me into me that like,

(42:35):
I don't even I would have never thought I would be running and
here I am running, you know? So.
Yeah, that is. So sweet.
Oh, sorry. Go ahead.
Oh, sorry. We I feel like.
Since we started getting past that selfish stage, like it, it

(42:55):
gave us room to kind of just explore different things.
And we started realizing, 'causelike I said, we were like, we
need to be more intentional about the time we're spending
together. So we would schedule like date
nights or sex, right? Like if it.
Doesn't happen. It's not going to happen
organically. And then, you know, we're not
going to, we go to sleep early sometimes 'cause we run early in

(43:18):
the morning. So sometimes when we do go out,
it's already like 9:00 PM and we're like yawning and we're
like, oh man. And then we're supposed to go
home and have sex. That's, that's a lot.
That's a lot. Or we, maybe we just ate.
We just went to date night and it's like, OK, well, now I'm
pretty full, you know, I just want to have ice cream and
cuddle in bed. So we started having those

(43:40):
conversations. She's, she's definitely more of
like the, the physical touch in the relationship.
So sometimes it's easy for me tojust like forget, right, That
those small little, just like small touches like means the
world for her 'cause to me, I can go on.
Like obviously it helps out and it grounds me, but it's really

(44:01):
made a difference to just be more intentional about certain
things. And I feel like that's also led
to maybe if it doesn't lead to sex, it's led to intimate
moments, which sometimes kind offills up your bucket right, for
maybe the day or something. So we're still, I guess you can
say, figuring things out, 'causewe're not, we're not the best
with our, our daily schedule. And and since we did just move

(44:23):
here, we're it's the schedule's been changing a bunch, but we're
intentional. Yeah.
And that, I feel like that helpsus a bunch.
Like that's what matters, yeah. It is what matters.
I can tell you care about each other so much.
If y'all aren't watching this onYouTube or Spotify, definitely
subscribe on YouTube or Spotify so you can see the love that

(44:43):
Stacey and Alice have. It's really beautiful.
And yeah I think it might be weird or some people might not
be into it but I 100% agree. Scheduling sex, especially after
you've been in a long term relationship is probably
necessary because they don't just joke about the lesbian
deathbed for our bed death for any reason like it.

(45:07):
It's a thing and you have to be intentional and you end up being
such close friends and like having empathy and being tired
together and life is hard and got to keep the spark alive.
So I love the intentionality andscheduling date nights.
That's one thing that growing upI would see my parents do, like

(45:28):
be intentional with each other, go on vacations together.
And that's something that has just carried on to be really
important for me. I think some people are freaked
out by it. Like they're like you're you
want to schedule what? And I'm like, no, that means
you're important. Like if like it, it is truly
like offensive to my heart. If someone's like, no, I don't

(45:50):
want to schedule. Like why do we have to schedule
a date night? Like we're dating and I'm like,
OK, then like we're not a good match.
Like that's just at the beginning of any relationship.
Like, you get to know someone, You're like, hey, can I see you
Friday? I mean you're you're scheduling
a date night which is potentially going to lead to
sex. And we go out with that.
Intention right, like we shower like we make sure we smell good

(46:13):
like we make sure we like you know like nobody really says
like hey at 1031 you know but you know that you're going to
dinner and then after dinner youknow like yes but.
Like you put on the prettier panties?
Like you put on your perfume. Yes, it's important.
It is so important. How did you know that you were

(46:37):
the 1? I want to get into the proposal.
Or if you guys have even gone there.
Are you doing a traditional marriage?
But how did you first know? OK, this is my person.
Because apparently you guys tookit slow and evolved into
something without even realizing.
Yeah, I feel like. Yeah, it definitely did take us

(46:58):
a bit because like I said, I mean, I, I knew I didn't want to
jump into anything and I kept thinking that and thinking that
and two years down, four years down, like time was just going
and going and going and going. So I, I feel like she didn't
really, she didn't give me a nudge per SE, but we, we just
started having more of these conversations and I was like, I
mean, yeah, like I'm not sure what, what I'm waiting for.

(47:21):
Like nothing's going to just come in the mail and say, OK,
now you are ready to propose. OK, great.
Like, you know, so I feel like this was in what, 2022 when I
proposed. Yeah.
So, I mean, I knew I wanted to do.
I don't, I don't wanna say something huge, but I, I knew I

(47:43):
wanted to do something special, I guess you per SE.
So we planned a trip for some ofher family members to meet some
of my family members, and we were all gonna go to Mexico.
Oh. Yeah.
So, yeah, so it was. It was.
Super nice. Her dad was there, her brothers
was there, nieces were there, myparents were there.

(48:06):
It was super, super good, super nice.
I even had an uncle. Well, he was a tagalong.
He was supposed to be there, butthe point is he came from Peru.
Like it was it was huge. And we had gone to this beach
area in the morning and like, obviously I'm super nervous that
day. So I'm sure she thought
something was up, but just our family was just having a good

(48:27):
time. Like her dad was playing with my
dad's soccer. Like everybody was literally
just, it was a perfect day. I didn't plan any of that.
That just happened organically. And then that evening, I wasn't
even going to have any of our family members there.
That was the original. I was like, it's just going to
be me and her. And then we're just going to
tell them later. But obviously one thing leads to
another and like typical Hispanic nature, everything's

(48:50):
running late. So people were still kind of at
the beach when everybody was supposed to be gone.
So like this beach club had closed down.
Like they were getting ready. Like I was trying not to be
weird, but the guy that was going to set things up on the
beach was there and trying to talk to me.
And like, I'm not from Mexico. So they were probably like, why
is Stacy going to talk to someone like a complete

(49:14):
stranger? Stacy, the American, like sure,
she has Spanish backgrounds, butnot the Mexicans are going to go
to go do it. They know how to do this.
Like and it was a lot of setup. The point is like we went, we
went on a little walk. We were talking more like I was
just talking to her about like how I was feeling about her and
like our future, what I was excited for.

(49:35):
And then like when we came back to the area, which the area was
where our family was at in the morning.
So like it was basically the same setup, except now it had
like a marry me sign. And so then I asked her and then
as soon as she said yes, like I just called for everybody and
everybody like ran to us. So it was super, super, super
special moment. She said she had no idea, but I

(49:58):
don't know if I believe her, butI'll I'll take it.
Oh, that was gonna. Be my next question.
I'm like, you didn't know when you're walking and Stacey's
telling you all the feelings. So I mean.
I didn't know because like we were at that moment, like pretty
visible on Instagram. So we were like, we were taking

(50:19):
like photos, you know, like, andI was like, oh, I was like,
maybe this is, you know, like just her being like cute, you
know, like doing like a date. So I didn't know.
But eventually I started to get like fishy because she was like
way too sappy. Like she was crying.
And I'm like OK, like like. She would have like you.
Know, like she was crying. I already had to do that, you

(50:39):
know? And so I was like, OK, I was
like, this is a bit too much. And she kept telling me like,
let's go here, let's go over there.
And so I was like, OK, like, butI, I still didn't expect like up
to the moment, like where my, like my family and her family
like ran out. Like I didn't expect it.
And to go back to like one of your first questions, like, like

(51:00):
how our family is like, they're definitely in the celebratory
state, even though sometimes we have a little bit of like, you
know, like we rub a little bit with our comments and like, we
don't agree with some politics, don't see eye to eye.
But they're they definitely celebrate us.
And I feel really supported by not only like my family, but
hers. And that is, I mean, that to

(51:22):
that to me is huge. It is huge, yeah.
It's been, it's been nice. Since, I guess since we moved
here, so sometimes when 'cause she's now been studying for her
board exam, so I've been going out to work and stuff like that.
And sometimes when I get home, like she's just talking to my
parents and I'm like some I, I have to again, pinch myself
because I'm like, I never thought this like would be my

(51:45):
view. And it's not, it's not anything
special. It's not a special day.
It's not a special occasion. It's literally a Tuesday
afternoon. And they're literally just
sitting there like laughing about, I don't even know what.
But it didn't matter because it,again, it's such an organic but
like beautiful moment that if I probably tried to plan it, it
wouldn't have happened. Yeah, so it's definitely like

(52:06):
they everybody loves her. Like for a while they had been
including her and everything. I mean, my brothers already
caught her, my wife, like they everybody just they have been
really, really, really supportive.
Like you can genuinely tell thatthey they love her.
They love us together. Like, I mean, some of my family
members joke and they're like, if you break up with her, like

(52:28):
we're just gonna like shake you and be like, no, like she's for
you. So it's been, it's definitely
been been very, very, very nice.And like I said, stuff that's so
happy never would have imagined,but like my heart's super happy.
Like it's it's at peace just being with where we're at today

(52:48):
and knowing that we have so muchtime ahead of us still.
So my possibilities are endless.You have a lifetime.
Ahead. What does it look like?
What's the feature? Are you guys planning something
special? Yeah, we need to get married.
Yeah. We need to get married.
We. Got engaged a few years back.
And we have had a huge delay, totally my fault.

(53:11):
But I did want to finish school,which I just graduated last
year. I actually, I know actually just
received my my licensure like this weekend.
I've asked my Gad. I know she's a she's gonna be a
legal. Drug dealer, Yeah.
Wow. OK, OK.

(53:32):
So I'm really excited to. Work.
So that's like, you know, the near future.
She can retire now. Yeah, we joke about.
It now 'cause I was, I was the breadwinner for the longest and
now I'm like, OK, I'm ready to just like chill, just relax, put
on a bikini. No, but I feel like we've we've.
Talked about like projection going forward and probably for

(53:53):
the next two years at least, it's just going to be like work
and grind mode, save, save, save, save, save.
Like we have really big goals. We want to buy each of us a
multi family property every year.
So we know that's going to take a bunch and we're in Florida so
those odds don't even make sense, but we're going to just
figure out a way to make it happen.
I believe in you. I believe.

(54:14):
In you. Thank you.
Thank you. Put it up.
We are hustlers around here. Too queer of and rising, Yes.
OK, when you say? Multifamily.
Do you mean like for Airbnb or do you mean for like personal
property? Well, probably.
Yeah. For rentals overall, just to
kind of have that appreciation over time.

(54:35):
And then if you know, whether wekeep it or it's a nest egg or
whatever the case might be, but I mean, maybe one day Airbnb.
But right now, right now it's probably just rental.
We're getting used to kind of like, yeah, long term rentals.
What we're doing now with the the properties that we have in
Texas like we're, it was easier for us to just rent them a

(54:57):
little bit less headache than kind of air being.
So I mean 'cause. We, we want to, I know everybody
says this, but we really want toretire early.
Like we want to travel. We want to, we have really big
dreams, really big aspirations. And I mean, that's only going to
happen if we are intentional about it.
I get it. I get it.
I tell everyone all the time I'mlooking for an investor for

(55:18):
Queer Country Club because I want to go big and hard and I do
want to retire early eventually.So I totally get it.
I believe in the vision every day.
It's like, what are you doing today that's going to prepare
your future for tomorrow? So sounds like you guys have
great heads on your shoulders and one heart vision.

(55:39):
And so doing all this business together, it it doesn't look
like going into business partnership because you're not
married yet. So like legally you don't share
things right now. Is it like do you guys have it?
Like what does that look like? I'm curious, I feel like.
I mean, we own our own. Things with the intention of

(56:03):
like always merging right? Although we have, we've said it
since we started dating, when weget married, we will be signing
a prenup. And that's something strange to
us. That was, you know, I mean, our
parents have that same mentalityand we're completely cool with
that. But you know, like, I mean, all

(56:25):
of her properties in Texas, likewe're not afraid to get down and
dirty. Like we, we remodeled them
ourselves with the help of like my mom, you know, like dust,
like paint on her hair, like thewhole mess.
Because we also were, that's notwhat we studied.
So we were, you know, testing itout.
So every investment that we do legally, our own names are on

(56:48):
it, but we're in on it. You know, like we both put in
work. Yeah.
Or. Like, I mean, yeah.
I don't know if that like answers the question.
No, Yeah, I. That's perfect way to put it.
You know, whether since I've been the red winner, obviously
I've I've been putting more financially, but she's been
putting more, let's say time andeffort into other areas which
are just as yeah, so. Do consider.

(57:11):
Ourselves equal partners, whether regardless of whose name
on it. But I mean in the future we
before we get married, we want to buy one each just to have it
still in our names. And then from there, we'll
probably do LLCS at that point and we're kind of in charge of
it. I love this.
Thank you for being so authenticand honest because the women

(57:33):
inside my lesbian dating platform, the Queer Country
Club, a lot of them are looking for their power couple other
half. And so these are hard
conversations. These are real conversations.
Before I get into a relationshipwith someone or even go on
multiple dates, I have someone sign a content contract.
Like this is real life. We are grown-ups and we just got

(57:54):
to keep it real. So I love that you're open about
this. I'm very big on the prenup.
I especially because I date older.
I'm attracted to older. I feel most of them are more
established than me, although I'm carefully quickly catching
up. I feel like they're just way
ahead. So it's always been natural to

(58:16):
me since I was 26, dating older,I would like always say, yeah,
prenup. And especially when I've had
partners who are very like, quick to talk about marriage, I
would say right away, like, hey,I'm just letting you know, like,
I want a prenup. You're not going to have to make
that like an awkward conversation.
And it always like, let's down their guard.

(58:37):
And I've even had a few older people almost like get offended
where they're like, oh, you don't think that we've been
married forever. And like, at this point I'm
like, well, I'm 32 now and I'm single.
So it obviously did not work out.
And wouldn't everyone involved have been glad they had their
prenup? You guys, on the other hand, it

(58:57):
just sounds like you're you're very fair stable.
And then there's nothing to evenever consider arguing about.
It's just everyone protects their peace with the prenups.
So yeah, I'm curious. If you disagree, let us know in
the comments. Because I think that prenups are
the best way to make anyone feelsecure.

(59:18):
And because I do typically date people who are just as driven as
me, I think it's a way to put itout there.
Like, hey, like this is so much more than about what I can have
from you. Like this is, I bring to the
table this, you bring to the table that and nobody has any
questions about it. And so I love it.
I think that's a good A. Great point of putting in and I,

(59:40):
I, and we've talked about it in the sense where sure, like
obviously movies and certain things portray it as like, Oh my
gosh, you don't love me enough or you don't think this, but
it's like this is I, I do love you enough that I love you
enough to be like you. I can sign your paper like you
for you. You know, whether you have a
dollar to your name or you have $1,000,000 to your name.
So that's just. And to me, by signing, it's

(01:00:02):
showing, Hey, look, it doesn't matter at the end of the day,
like whatever we have is becausewe're gonna have it, you know,
and we, we even talk about it sometimes and, and people are
like some of our friends are like, I can't believe you guys
just say that. And it's like one thing that we
always remind each other of is look, even if you feel like
cheating, talk to me before you do it.

(01:00:23):
Like let's just figure out what's up.
Like, why are you thinking the grass is greener over there?
Like and try to remind ourselvesbecause obviously, I mean,
there's so many distractions nowadays.
There's so many. Like everything's at your
fingertip. Things can be as you want it to
be. And it's hard.
It's it's harder to stay committed in a monogamous
relationship than it is to be single.

(01:00:45):
You know, sure, both and cons for both.
But we, we randomly, like I said, just say, hey, if you're
not feeling me, let me know, 'cause maybe it's, I don't know,
maybe it's something I'm doing. I'm not even, not even aware of
it. You know, we've like she said
earlier, like we've changed so much, like my personalities

(01:01:07):
slightly or, but definitely likeour aspirations, our style has
slightly changed. Like I used to have long hair
and one day I was like, I'm gonna, I wanna donate it.
I've always wanted to donate my hair.
So whenever it grows, I cut it and start messing around with
that, you know? So yeah, the.
Little changes which can. You know, it could rock the boat

(01:01:29):
definitely. You know, yeah, I think the
authenticity is kind of like also what keeps me attracted to
her as well, the fact that she'salso not trying to just fit in a
bubble. I'm sure even though you know we
might have quote UN quote types or something like that, this is
a perfect example of how there'seven variations in that like

(01:01:51):
there are. You know, I, I.
Tell her and I joke with her, but I'm like, even if you were
like a hot dog suit, like I'm still going to be like, wow.
Like she's buying a slogan hot dog suit.
You know. Yeah, I love.
It. It's so cute.
OK, so obviously you guys care about healthcare and advocacy.

(01:02:11):
You just said you donated your hair.
It's important to you, Alice. What does this look like in your
career now that you just got your certifications, your
degrees? What does this look like for
you? I mean, I'm gonna keep climbing.
To the top, my biggest purpose is to be able to be in a
position of power one day withinmy field to actually make an

(01:02:33):
impact and help people. I'm a pharmacist and I have been
working at a pharmacy like in Texas, and as much as I love
helping people, sometimes your help feels so small because
you're like, I just saved you $10 you.
Know it matters to. Me, I am that bitch that will

(01:02:53):
wait for the good RX coupon 'cause it will be better than my
insurance. Yeah, and you should, you know.
And, you know, to me, there has there needs to be a bigger
change. And the change comes from the
top. We can scream until we're blue
in the face from down here, but the voices that need to be

(01:03:15):
amplified aren't. And so to us, that has been like
the biggest factor. Like, we don't when we look at
our future, we're not sure if wewant kids, but if we can help
other kids, that'll be enough sometimes, you know, somehow.
And to us, I don't even know what it looks like in my

(01:03:36):
professional fields. It would probably look like
helping my preferred patient population, which would be the
LGBTQIA community. But yeah, in the future,
hopefully we could deviate from our health careers and into
maybe, I don't know, like I don't even know any help that's
needed, whatever. Help is.

(01:03:57):
Needed you know, sometimes you, you learn more about what help
you can do by asking the actual people who are affected.
Hey, what help do you need? And so we want to be able to get
to a point where or whatever help they need is what we can
provide. And I'm going to.
Brag here 'cause she's she's downplaying it, but like she's
already looking at places to well, this one place in

(01:04:21):
particular here where they do free STD checks.
It is for LGBT plus community. But basically it's just, it's, I
guess it's a pharmacy per SE, but it's a lot more just access
to certain things that our community doesn't have access
to, right? The volunteer her time there
instead of basically, you know, using that time to make bank.

(01:04:45):
She, this is something that she's, she's super passionate
about. And even when I met her, she was
doing, I mean, lots of differentstuff.
And I feel like that's also kindof what brought us together.
Like I worked when I was workingin Texas, I worked, I worked
with the homeless population. So I, you know, I saw a bunch of
different people from a bunch ofdifferent backgrounds, obviously
from, from our alphabet soup, not from our every, everything

(01:05:08):
in between. And yeah, their story, sometimes
it's really just disheartening to hear where it's like they
don't have anybody, they don't have any family members that
check on them, they don't have anything.
And sometimes something as smallas like the groups, I would
maybe run with them or I did a lot of recreational activities
with them 'cause that's, that's more of my job.

(01:05:28):
So like, I would take them fishing.
We would do like bowling, certain things like that where
again, these simple activities alot of people don't have access
to. They can't go to just Starbucks
and get a coffee. Yeah.
They can't just go small things where you're just like, wow,
just allowing people to access things is amazing.

(01:05:50):
Like here since we're I'm volunteering with this
organization that does a lot of stuff for for the beach and to
make it accessible for people with wheelchairs.
So think about pushing a wheelchair in the sand.
Nobody wants to do. That job, so putting things like
there, there's already an organization doing this, but
they go and they make an area for anybody, doesn't matter your

(01:06:12):
ability or disability, you can go there.
They have air conditioning, theyhave the area for you can kind
of go on the sand. They have wheelchairs to go on
the sand. Like those are the things that
that matter to us and where you also want to spend more time
with. You.
That's really beautiful. I just thought about that.
It would be really sad to know that you wouldn't get to see the

(01:06:32):
ocean because of a disability. Yeah, something as simple as.
Your chair on the sand. Like I can't even imagine trying
to push myself on the wheelchairon the sand, let alone her
trying to push me. So stop.
Anybody from going? That's beautiful.
I love the hearts you have for each other and the world.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for having these

(01:06:54):
important conversations, these vulnerable conversations.
Do you have a specific place youwant to send my audience to
learn more about you? Where are those places?
Yeah. You guys can follow us on
Instagram at LES and then two underscores adventure with an S
at the end. And I mean, we just post about

(01:07:18):
our lives there. But more importantly, we love
chatting with people from our community.
Like I said, I came from a really small town where I was
one of the few gays. And so to me, like connecting
from with people even like outside of the United States,
people from my home country in Mexico, like that has been like,

(01:07:40):
I mean, like a huge gift to us. So if you guys ever want to
chat, ask us random questions, talk about prenups or anything
crazy, yeah. We can all we can all share our
toxic moments too. Yeah, we can all have a.
Laugh on that, I honestly. Like that was really big for me

(01:08:02):
here because I've always felt like in a relationship, once you
cross that line, maybe you'll never be able to come back.
And sometimes people are worth coming back for.
And only you know that. And apparently it's worked out
for you guys. And that's really, really
beautiful. And I'm sure it's going to give
someone hope. So if you're that person, DM

(01:08:25):
them. That's LES.
Double underscores travel. Is it go travel or just travel?
Travel, LES. Two underscores.
Adventures. Oh, adventure.
Sorry the words mix up, but it'sgoing to be in the show notes.
I'm going to have that link for you guys right in the show
notes. I'm really, really grateful for
this conversation. If you're listening to this and

(01:08:48):
you are a single lesbian who is looking for a long term partner.
I mentioned it before, but I can't in the episode without
plugging the Queer Country Club,my lesbian dating platform, or
help monogamous women connect and fall in love.
It's different than anything outthere.
It's swipeless. We have live virtual events, we

(01:09:08):
have retreats that you get access to luxury retreats and AI
matchmaking inside of the platform.
It is so different than a regular dating app.
The women inside or cream of thecrop, you will find women who
are looking for their purpose. Couple like these two have this
grander purpose, this mutual purpose that they share.

(01:09:29):
You may even find your power couple.
Other half the women inside are accomplished, creative, caring,
and working on themselves. So if that's the kind of partner
you're looking for, go ahead andgo to queercountryclub.com or DM
me, Queer Country Club and I'll get you an application because
yes, it's application based. We're all about quality over

(01:09:53):
quantity. We want to make sure that the
women inside are growth minded and monogamous.
So hope to see you inside at queercountryclub.com.
Thank you so much, Stacey and Alice.
It's been a pleasure getting to know you.
Thank you for sharing your relationship with my world.
We appreciate it. Nice to meet you.
Bye bye.

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Toxic Moments, Lesbian Love, and Prenups - A Lesbian Love Story With Stacey & Alice

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Toxic Moments, Lesbian Love, and Prenups - A Lesbian Love Story With Stacey & Alice