October 29, 2024 • 31 mins
This election season has weighed heavy on the lgbtq+ community and of course so many others. This episode delves into what that has looked like for us over the past few months and the importance of all of us voting. Thank you to Kayla and Taylor for sharing how they decided to get legally married a little earlier than planned.
ACLU on project 2025
I'm not backlinking Project 2025 but you can look them up if you want
Secretary of State MN (polling place and ballot info)
Vote 411 - all the election info you need
Made it out (to the polls) podcast series
The intro and all instrumentals were written, sung and recorded by @JaynaDavisMusic
Queerly Beloved, I'm so glad you joined!
Please keep the community going by checking me out on instagram @wildlyconnectedphoto and come say hi! I'd love to hear from you! :)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
HP Envy USB Microphone ( (00:00):
Weerly beloved, welcome back.
(00:03):
I have missed you all so, somuch.
It feels like it's been alifetime since I have recorded
an episode.
Hopefully I remember how tostill do this all.
But thank you all for tuning in.
Your patient says I took a pauseon releasing episodes.
(00:24):
As I'm sure a lot of you havebeen able to tell via social
media or just based on theseason.
I have been off shootingweddings and allotments and
engagements and.
Just kind of putting all of mytime and energy into focusing on
all of my amazing couples andclients.
(00:45):
And also trying to sneak in afew personal moments and breaks
in there every once in a while.
I am also planning my ownelopement and doing my own
engagement photos and all ofthat amazing stuff too.
So it's been such an incredibleyear and I'm also just wildly
(01:05):
confused on how it is alreadybasically 2025.
Of course I know we still have acouple more months, but I swear
it was just pride like a fewweeks ago.
Like I feel as though I justblinked and now it's already
closing up on 2024, which isjust crazy.
(01:26):
However.
That does mean that clearlybeloved is back in full swing
now, and I've got lots ofamazing episodes, topics and
guests lined up.
So I hope that you will put amental note in to start tuning
in on a regular basis andlooking out for new episodes.
Like I said, I have lots instore, but if you ever have
requests or ideas, please dropme a DM.
(01:50):
As per usual, I am atwildlyconnectedphoto on
Instagram and would love for anyand all of you to say hello.
It's one of my favorite thingsin the world to connect with
folks, so.
On that note for those of youwho are local listeners, I am
hosting a party on November 8th.
(02:11):
It is very cheesy, but I amcalling it a wild connection
party.
It is in hopes to just really beable to connect with the
community.
And, also, I just I don't know.
I want, I want all of theamazing couples to be able to
connect with other couples andbe friends and share wedding
advice and hang out and maybewalk away with some new buddies
(02:35):
that can help us get through thelong, dark and cold winter
months.
So please message me fordetails.
Otherwise I have details up onmy Instagram as well.
Also, just wanted to say, if youhear a little bit of congestion,
so sorry, I am over a cold.
(02:55):
Like, I don't feel sick, but Idon't know, it's always the last
part I feel like is thecongestion.
So, got just a little bit ofthat going on, but now I am, if
you are ready to hear a littlebit of congestion, I am ready to
hop into this week's episode.
(03:15):
And, as excited and stoked as Iam to be back, unfortunately I
am kicking off the restarting ofthe pod with a not so cheery
episode.
I shouldn't necessarily say it'sdark and gloomy, but the topic
is important, we'll just saythat.
So, I am sure you all are aware.
(03:38):
That it is election season.
I know so many of us are beingbombarded with ads and
commercials and votinginformation, and I know that
it's a lot.
So I'm hoping that this doesn'tget too lost in the noise and
also wanted to make it superclear that this isn't meant to
like inspire fear or to tell youhow to feel or just sway
(04:02):
anything, but rather just to.
Kind of shed some light on thesituation on how our community
is going to be affected by thisupcoming election and my hope is
that the allies who arelistening who are maybe unaware
of just how much is at stake forour community and other
(04:24):
communities that this will kindof just help you see truly
what's at stake and for thosewithin our own LGBTQ plus
community who maybe feel on thefence about voting and whether
or not your vote is importantand I hope that this can kind of
just help you be aware that yourvoice and your vote is super
(04:47):
important and that we need toband together and vote so that
we can protect our rights andkeep fighting for further rights
and for change.
Obviously, we always know thatwhen there is a presidential
election, it's really important,but this year, it's.
It's incredibly important, andI'm going to talk about why, but
(05:10):
there are so many things beyondwhat physical things will be on
the ballot that are at stake,and I could talk all day about
the wide array of issues, likethere's environmental things on
the ballot and things to bethinking about, and there's also
very important things that willbe affected like women's rights
(05:30):
and reproductive issues.
But that would be a whole thing.
It would be much longer than mynormal podcast episode.
So for now, I am just going tobe focusing on what's kind of
been going on in the minds ofthe LGBTQ plus community.
Unfortunately, the queercommunity is no stranger to the
(05:51):
idea of losing our rights.
It's been kind of a common themethroughout history.
Whether it was It's either justnot having rights or having very
minimal rights or kind of in thepast few years, it's sort of
been this ongoing feeling thatOur rights could just be taken
(06:12):
away at any second or they couldbe changed.
And what's coming to mind for meis back in 2022 with the
overturning of Roe v.
Wade there was so many LGBTQcouples who ultimately ended up
deciding to get married soonerthan anticipated for the fear
(06:32):
that marriage would be, youknow, Like, at a federal level,
would change, and I remembertalking to so many of my couples
who were just so full of fear,and many of them, yes, did go to
the courthouse or, you know,find an officiant and legalize
their marriage because of thatvery real fear.
(06:55):
Of course, we've seen how theoverturning of Roe v.
Wade has affected so many otherthings in terms of abortion
rights and access and all ofthat, but again, I need to stay
focused here and kind of keep iton the community and so thinking
about that, I think, you know,really affects how many of us in
(07:19):
the community are feeling aboutthe election this year, and why
I wanted to do this episode.
Also wanted to say I am noexpert here, I'm no political
expert, I don't know the ins andouts of everything, but I do
feel that I can speak to how ourcommunity has been feeling how
(07:40):
it's been impacting us, and whatwe kind of need to do.
moving forward as a community.
So I first just wanted to sharea little bit about what the
community has been feeling,what's been going on.
Then we're going to hear from areal couple who has made their
(08:02):
own decision based on thecurrent political climate and
end with just some information.
So to put things that might seemvery obvious into words, This
election season has been verymuch of a roller coaster.
I know it's felt by so many, butit's Really been weighing heavy
(08:24):
on LGBTQ community, women,minority communities.
Like there's so many people whoare feeling this in a very
different way than the generalpopulation because our everyday
lives and the rights.
That we have in those everydaylives feel like they're on trial
between the announcement ofTrump running for reelection and
(08:47):
also project 2025 starting togain traction.
This year feels particularlyscary.
I'm sure so many of you arefamiliar with project 2025.
I just wanted to quickly sum itup in case some of you aren't
familiar.
Again, just Kind of put incontext to our fears.
(09:09):
So the has said that project2025 is a federal policy agenda
and blueprint for a radicalrestructuring of the executive
branch authored and published byformer Trump administration
officials in partnership withthe heritage foundation, a long
standing conservative think tankthat opposes abortion and
reproductive rights, LGBTQrights, Immigrant rights and
(09:32):
racial racial equity.
So they have this document thatkind of wants to reorganize the
federal government to serve aconservative agenda and There's
so many things.
It's like this huge documentthat would strip away abortion
rights, mass deport folks, therewould be censorship in
(09:56):
classrooms, particularly withdiscussing things like learning
about LGBTQ history and whatthat means, and also taking away
most, if not all, trans rights.
So Learning this in combinationwith the overturning of Roe v.
Wade is what has had so many ofus just feel incredibly fearful
(10:21):
for this election year.
It's also what has caused massmigration of trans folks and
families with trans children ortrans family members to move
states from more red orconservative states.
So as you can see there is A lotof things that are adding up to
(10:44):
make it feel particularly scaryfor the LGBTQ plus community.
Again, I am not an expert, but Idid just want to present a few
things of information because,as I said, This isn't meant to
(11:04):
be like fear mongering.
I think just the general climatehas already done a great job of
doing that.
I just wanted to note that ifyou go to the actual project
2025 official website, whichyou, I cannot believe I spent
time on there, but.
It does say that in quotes, thelegal recognition of same sex
(11:27):
marriage is not discussed inproject 2025 mandate for
leadership.
The mandate calls for theprotection of faith based grant
recipients who maintain supportfor the traditional definition
of marriage mandate alsosupports conscientious
protections for those who don't,who do not wish to participate
in same sex marriages.
So it does seem like a littlebit of a gray area, although.
(11:51):
There is no, I guess,straightforward and clear call
for them to strip it away at afederal level.
So I just want to present thatpiece of information.
However, it doesn't ultimatelyrule out the possibility of what
could happen, because as Imentioned, there are so many
things on the ballot this yearoutside of the presidential
(12:13):
election.
For example, there will be 33states that will hold state
supreme court elections, and onequarter of the 344 state supreme
court seats are up for election.
For election, so that isincredibly important at a state
level.
Additionally, whomever iselected as president is the 1
(12:38):
who gets to.
Decide who the federal SupremeCourt justices are.
As we have witnessed, Trump hadthe ability to elect three
Supreme Court justices in histime, which is insane and has
put the Supreme Court.
(12:59):
Pretty much a conservativemajority and that means that
whoever is elected next willlikely get to pick a Supreme
Court justice.
There are currently 2 SupremeCourt justices who we are kind
of waiting to see when, or ifthey're going to retire and
that's huge because they are thepeople who had the decision to
(13:23):
overturn Roe v.
Wade.
Again, I'm not, I'm not going togo into details, but my biggest
point here is that the electionfears are felt by so many.
And I just want to validatethat.
Like we've seen what's playedout over the last few years and
we don't want to find out whatwill happen if we don't vote or
(13:47):
if Trump gets reelected.
So again, I'm not sharinginformation to make us feel,
feel fearful, but to validatethat there are real fears
because it's been things thatwe've seen played out in our
past.
I know that my own partner and Ihave had ongoing discussions
(14:08):
about what it means for our ownmarriage plans.
Like, do those have to shift?
What does this mean for us?
Is our day to day life going tochange in the coming months?
It's been, it's been an ongoingconversation and I, I know that
so many of you out there are inthat same boat.
And so I really just want to saylike, I see you, and really, it
(14:33):
just sucks.
Like I think we all just need toalso leave space to say like,
this sucks that we have to bethinking so much about how our
rights could be changed nextweek.
After the election, I reallywanted to bring in an outside
voice and just kind of hear fromyou from people in the
(14:56):
community, how this has affectedyou.
And so please keep listening tohear from Kayla and Taylor as
they discuss how this currentpolitical climate and the
upcoming election influencedtheir decision to get married
early.
Will you two both introduceyourselves and your pronouns,
(15:19):
please?
I am Taylor Quay now.
Used to be Taylor Booth.
My pronouns are they, them.
I'm Kayla Quay, used to beThielman, and my pronouns are
she, her.
Wow, oh my gosh, we're gonnahave to talk all about this name
change in a second.
But before we get there for thefolks listening, I just wanted
(15:43):
to kind of give you two anopportunity to share anything
about like, your relationship,kind of like how you guys met,
anything you want to really,just to kind of give some
context.
We met in September of 2022, Ithink, and we started dating in
December typical lesbian, fellin love, and we got engaged.
(16:10):
In October, 2023 in Thailand.
And here we are.
Well, now we're married.
Now we're married.
Yeah.
We were not even engaged for ayear.
Yeah.
A little bit earlier than we hadoriginally planned, but yeah,
(16:32):
we're going on a little over amonth of being married now.
Yeah.
So.
That is, that is amazing.
And everybody has a uniquetimeline.
So I'm glad that you guys sharedyours.
First, can you share kind ofwhat you did this year?
Yeah.
So we went to the courthousewhere we live.
(16:58):
Well, we had to travel like anhour and a half away.
They didn't, they don't docourthouse weddings in our town.
Yes, it has to be a specificcourt.
So we went to the cities.
But we found a judge who wasavailable and we did a small, it
was just me and Taylor obviouslygetting married and then we had
(17:20):
two witnesses and Anna was thereas well to take our pictures.
Yeah, we originally, our planwas to get married in Colorado
next year, 2025, and with theupcoming election on November
5th coming up very quickly, wedecided that we wanted to be
(17:44):
married officially, legallybeforehand, just in case the
election goes.
don't want it to.
And that right is taken awayfrom us.
So we're still planning to havelike our wedding celebration and
everything next year, like wehad originally planned.
(18:04):
But we're just, we got the legalpart of it done.
And I mean, it was, it was stillfun and sweet, but Definitely
wasn't our original plan.
So, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I mean, yeah, it was gorgeous.
You both looked so amazing andit wasn't the OG plan.
(18:30):
Yeah, I'm kind of curious, like,what sort of sparked the initial
conversation between you 2 asfar as like, oh, like, maybe we
should actually.
Figure out if we wanna do this.
Now, I think I had insomnia onenight, and I was just laying in
bed and I was thinking about it.
(18:51):
It was probably two monthsbefore the courthouse wedding.
And I was just like, you know,they're talking about making it
illegal for gay people to getmarried again.
Maybe we should figure out if wecan do this before.
And then we had talked about itthe next day and we were like,
(19:13):
yep, let's do it.
Okay.
So it was pretty easy.
Like you guys are on the samepage.
We're very in touch with eachother.
Yeah, very similar opinions,thoughts, things like that.
Kayla did all the logisticalstuff of it because I am not
(19:38):
good at that stuff.
So she kind of like researchedlike what to do and found out
like we couldn't do it here inMankato and we had to travel
somewhere else.
We also discovered that theydon't do weddings during Open
hours.
So that's just not like youcan't just go to a courthouse
and then find where it saysweddings this way and follow the
(20:01):
arrow because there's no signsfor it or anything.
There's just a list of judgesonline about people who said
that they, you know, Are willingto do it.
So Kayla contacted one judge.
She didn't get back to us.
So then she ended up contactinganother judge.
And she got back to us and wescheduled a time and a day.
(20:25):
We were kind of wanting to do itseptember 20th, which is They
were, we had planned to getmarried in 2025 but it just
didn't work out with schedulesand stuff.
So we did it on September 12th,which is still wonderful and
great.
But it was less of like.
(20:45):
You get to choose exactly whattime where it was more just kind
of what the judge had availableand then what worked out for us.
And then we obviously had totravel a little bit.
So we had to make sure weweren't working and stuff like
that.
So, yeah, it's a big thing to,like, try to take on at the last
(21:07):
second for, yeah, an unfortunatereason, but.
Obviously, the outcome is stillbeautiful.
Okay.
What, like, obviously, yes, youguys are very in touch and
that's beautiful.
I think that's gonna obviouslyhelp you to have a very long and
(21:27):
happy marriage.
But like, what were the factorsthat you kind of discussed when
you were like, yeah, I think, Ithink this is our best bet and
like our safest option.
I think the biggest thing.
Was we want to be recognized aslegal spouses after the
(21:49):
election?
And we even said, well, ifthings get really bad here and
we want to move out of thecountry, it will be harder if we
are not married.
To get not even citizenship orwhatever, but however it would
work just everything would beeasier if we were legally
(22:11):
married and if all of our namechanges and all of that was
already done.
And we're moving out of statenext year.
So we just wanted everything tokind of be solid in case what
our fears are happens.
Right.
Yeah, and I know you touched onthis in your post just as far as
(22:31):
like being legal spouses offersyou the capability to actually
kind of do things in eachother's lives if need be.
Was that part of the discussionas well?
Yeah, think a part of it wehaven't like fully talked about
this, but something I've beenthinking about if we want to
adopt kids or Things like that,if we're not married, I feel
(22:57):
like that will also be anotherhurdle that you would have to
jump through.
So it kind of just makeseverything easier for the things
that we want in the future.
Yeah, yeah, totally.
Well, thank you so much forsharing.
Obviously, I know it's It's,it's been a weird couple months
(23:17):
and it is a weird time now,especially knowing that election
day is coming up so quickly.
So thank you so much for sharingthat.
Yeah, I really only have oneother question, which is just
for other queer folks listening,other queer couples, do you have
anything that you want to sharewith them?
(23:38):
Any advice or any encouragementor anything like that?
I think the biggest thing for meis, for me to share, is even if
your family doesn't validate youor see you or if they're saying
that they love you, but theyaren't accepting your queerness,
then.
They aren't loving you in theway that they should.
(24:00):
And I don't talk to any of myfamily anymore because of it.
And it's the best decision Imade, even though it was the
hardest one I've made.
So put yourself first.
And So your love is amazing.
That was gay enough, right?
Agree completely.
I mean, I'm always a hugeadvocate for like being yourself
(24:22):
and like living authentically.
And it really makes a bigdifference about who you
surround yourself with.
I've just now been able toreally truly be myself the last
couple of years with Kayla.
Before that I was surroundingmyself with people who weren't
(24:42):
prideful in their queerness andvery judgmental.
So I just Wasn't able todiscover who I am because I
wasn't in a space to do so.
So like, yes, be yourself, butalso it really depends on who
you're surrounding yourselfwith.
It helps to surround yourselfwith good people in order to be
(25:03):
yourself truly and fully.
Yeah.
all of this.
Yeah, community is so important.
And I think I don't want tospeak for you too, but kind of
just to segue it community isimportant right now because we
all need to go vote.
Yeah,
HP Envy USB Microphone (H (25:23):
well, thank you so, so much to Kayla
and Taylor for being guests onthe show and being willing to be
a little bit more vulnerable andshare about their experience.
I know for a fact, they're notthe only ones and I just.
Really value hearing from thecommunity, hearing their
(25:46):
perspective, hearing yourperspectives and hopefully that
kind of helped you understand tojust.
How real this is for all of usthese are things that, like I
said, I've been talking to mycouples and clients about, but
they've also been very realconversations and Facebook
groups and Reddit threads andpeople trying to figure out what
(26:08):
makes sense and what's actuallyhappening and what the safest
move is.
So, yeah, it's just been very,very real and very stressful for
so many people over the past fewmonths.
And so I'm just going to endwith what I said before, like
the stress has been real, likewhat we have been feeling is
(26:29):
real.
And I want you to feel validatedin that, but take that energy,
whether you are allies here,listening and learning, or
whether you are part of thecommunity.
Please vote.
Please, please, please, pleasevote.
Like this.
This is affecting our day to daylives.
This is affecting our transbrothers and sisters and
(26:51):
siblings.
It's affecting so many peopleand I know there has been a
rising attitude in young folksthat like, either A, my vote
doesn't really matter that much,or B, saying things like, well,
Kamala is problematic and so I'mjust not gonna vote at all.
(27:12):
And it's like, listen, I hearyou, but your vote is important
because there is potential forit to be a close race and also,
not voting is really showingyour privilege.
Like, these votes are life anddeath in some situations and
it's so, so important.
(27:35):
So please, vote.
Please vote.
And on that, I am going to leavejust a few resources.
One of my favorite resources isVote411.
You can sign up to get texts andreminders, and they will send
you helpful information likehelping figuring out your
polling place.
Also, if you just Google what'son my polling place I know it
(27:58):
does it for Minnesota, and Ithink it does it for other
states too, where it'll usuallybe the Secretary of State or
another government officialwebsite where you can type in
your address, and it'll show youexactly what your ballot's going
to look like, pretty much almostan exact copy, just so you know
what you're voting for.
Like, all of the names, all ofthe different things that are
going to be on your ballot sothat you can look at them, do
(28:21):
your research ahead of time andfeel really prepared to go into
the polling place.
I am always here to answerquestions as I can.
Also, Google is here.
There's so much information outthere to help you with that.
And the last thing I'll mentionis that there is another queer
podcast titled Made It Out.
And they are actually doing aseries that is all about the
(28:44):
election, voting, they'retalking to officials they're
sharing really good information,they're kind of breaking things
down and it's all queer ownedand run.
So I will be linking All ofthose things in the show notes
in case you find any of thosehelpful or interesting.
And with that, Cruelly Beloved,thank you so much for rejoining
(29:05):
after a long hiatus.
Thank you for voting.
Thank you for encouraging otherpeople to vote.
And I will see you here backnext week for maybe a slightly
cheerier episode.
Maybe not.
But November 5th, go vote.
All right, bye guys.
Weerly beloved, welcome back.
(00:03):
I have missed you all so, somuch.
It feels like it's been alifetime since I have recorded
an episode.
Hopefully I remember how tostill do this all.
But thank you all for tuning in.
Your patient says I took a pauseon releasing episodes.
(00:24):
As I'm sure a lot of you havebeen able to tell via social
media or just based on theseason.
I have been off shootingweddings and allotments and
engagements and.
Just kind of putting all of mytime and energy into focusing on
all of my amazing couples andclients.
(00:45):
And also trying to sneak in afew personal moments and breaks
in there every once in a while.
I am also planning my ownelopement and doing my own
engagement photos and all ofthat amazing stuff too.
So it's been such an incredibleyear and I'm also just wildly
(01:05):
confused on how it is alreadybasically 2025.
Of course I know we still have acouple more months, but I swear
it was just pride like a fewweeks ago.
Like I feel as though I justblinked and now it's already
closing up on 2024, which isjust crazy.
(01:26):
However.
That does mean that clearlybeloved is back in full swing
now, and I've got lots ofamazing episodes, topics and
guests lined up.
So I hope that you will put amental note in to start tuning
in on a regular basis andlooking out for new episodes.
Like I said, I have lots instore, but if you ever have
requests or ideas, please dropme a DM.
(01:50):
As per usual, I am atwildlyconnectedphoto on
Instagram and would love for anyand all of you to say hello.
It's one of my favorite thingsin the world to connect with
folks, so.
On that note for those of youwho are local listeners, I am
hosting a party on November 8th.
(02:11):
It is very cheesy, but I amcalling it a wild connection
party.
It is in hopes to just really beable to connect with the
community.
And, also, I just I don't know.
I want, I want all of theamazing couples to be able to
connect with other couples andbe friends and share wedding
advice and hang out and maybewalk away with some new buddies
(02:35):
that can help us get through thelong, dark and cold winter
months.
So please message me fordetails.
Otherwise I have details up onmy Instagram as well.
Also, just wanted to say, if youhear a little bit of congestion,
so sorry, I am over a cold.
(02:55):
Like, I don't feel sick, but Idon't know, it's always the last
part I feel like is thecongestion.
So, got just a little bit ofthat going on, but now I am, if
you are ready to hear a littlebit of congestion, I am ready to
hop into this week's episode.
(03:15):
And, as excited and stoked as Iam to be back, unfortunately I
am kicking off the restarting ofthe pod with a not so cheery
episode.
I shouldn't necessarily say it'sdark and gloomy, but the topic
is important, we'll just saythat.
So, I am sure you all are aware.
(03:38):
That it is election season.
I know so many of us are beingbombarded with ads and
commercials and votinginformation, and I know that
it's a lot.
So I'm hoping that this doesn'tget too lost in the noise and
also wanted to make it superclear that this isn't meant to
like inspire fear or to tell youhow to feel or just sway
(04:02):
anything, but rather just to.
Kind of shed some light on thesituation on how our community
is going to be affected by thisupcoming election and my hope is
that the allies who arelistening who are maybe unaware
of just how much is at stake forour community and other
(04:24):
communities that this will kindof just help you see truly
what's at stake and for thosewithin our own LGBTQ plus
community who maybe feel on thefence about voting and whether
or not your vote is importantand I hope that this can kind of
just help you be aware that yourvoice and your vote is super
(04:47):
important and that we need toband together and vote so that
we can protect our rights andkeep fighting for further rights
and for change.
Obviously, we always know thatwhen there is a presidential
election, it's really important,but this year, it's.
It's incredibly important, andI'm going to talk about why, but
(05:10):
there are so many things beyondwhat physical things will be on
the ballot that are at stake,and I could talk all day about
the wide array of issues, likethere's environmental things on
the ballot and things to bethinking about, and there's also
very important things that willbe affected like women's rights
(05:30):
and reproductive issues.
But that would be a whole thing.
It would be much longer than mynormal podcast episode.
So for now, I am just going tobe focusing on what's kind of
been going on in the minds ofthe LGBTQ plus community.
Unfortunately, the queercommunity is no stranger to the
(05:51):
idea of losing our rights.
It's been kind of a common themethroughout history.
Whether it was It's either justnot having rights or having very
minimal rights or kind of in thepast few years, it's sort of
been this ongoing feeling thatOur rights could just be taken
(06:12):
away at any second or they couldbe changed.
And what's coming to mind for meis back in 2022 with the
overturning of Roe v.
Wade there was so many LGBTQcouples who ultimately ended up
deciding to get married soonerthan anticipated for the fear
(06:32):
that marriage would be, youknow, Like, at a federal level,
would change, and I remembertalking to so many of my couples
who were just so full of fear,and many of them, yes, did go to
the courthouse or, you know,find an officiant and legalize
their marriage because of thatvery real fear.
(06:55):
Of course, we've seen how theoverturning of Roe v.
Wade has affected so many otherthings in terms of abortion
rights and access and all ofthat, but again, I need to stay
focused here and kind of keep iton the community and so thinking
about that, I think, you know,really affects how many of us in
(07:19):
the community are feeling aboutthe election this year, and why
I wanted to do this episode.
Also wanted to say I am noexpert here, I'm no political
expert, I don't know the ins andouts of everything, but I do
feel that I can speak to how ourcommunity has been feeling how
(07:40):
it's been impacting us, and whatwe kind of need to do.
moving forward as a community.
So I first just wanted to sharea little bit about what the
community has been feeling,what's been going on.
Then we're going to hear from areal couple who has made their
(08:02):
own decision based on thecurrent political climate and
end with just some information.
So to put things that might seemvery obvious into words, This
election season has been verymuch of a roller coaster.
I know it's felt by so many, butit's Really been weighing heavy
(08:24):
on LGBTQ community, women,minority communities.
Like there's so many people whoare feeling this in a very
different way than the generalpopulation because our everyday
lives and the rights.
That we have in those everydaylives feel like they're on trial
between the announcement ofTrump running for reelection and
(08:47):
also project 2025 starting togain traction.
This year feels particularlyscary.
I'm sure so many of you arefamiliar with project 2025.
I just wanted to quickly sum itup in case some of you aren't
familiar.
Again, just Kind of put incontext to our fears.
(09:09):
So the has said that project2025 is a federal policy agenda
and blueprint for a radicalrestructuring of the executive
branch authored and published byformer Trump administration
officials in partnership withthe heritage foundation, a long
standing conservative think tankthat opposes abortion and
reproductive rights, LGBTQrights, Immigrant rights and
(09:32):
racial racial equity.
So they have this document thatkind of wants to reorganize the
federal government to serve aconservative agenda and There's
so many things.
It's like this huge documentthat would strip away abortion
rights, mass deport folks, therewould be censorship in
(09:56):
classrooms, particularly withdiscussing things like learning
about LGBTQ history and whatthat means, and also taking away
most, if not all, trans rights.
So Learning this in combinationwith the overturning of Roe v.
Wade is what has had so many ofus just feel incredibly fearful
(10:21):
for this election year.
It's also what has caused massmigration of trans folks and
families with trans children ortrans family members to move
states from more red orconservative states.
So as you can see there is A lotof things that are adding up to
(10:44):
make it feel particularly scaryfor the LGBTQ plus community.
Again, I am not an expert, but Idid just want to present a few
things of information because,as I said, This isn't meant to
(11:04):
be like fear mongering.
I think just the general climatehas already done a great job of
doing that.
I just wanted to note that ifyou go to the actual project
2025 official website, whichyou, I cannot believe I spent
time on there, but.
It does say that in quotes, thelegal recognition of same sex
(11:27):
marriage is not discussed inproject 2025 mandate for
leadership.
The mandate calls for theprotection of faith based grant
recipients who maintain supportfor the traditional definition
of marriage mandate alsosupports conscientious
protections for those who don't,who do not wish to participate
in same sex marriages.
So it does seem like a littlebit of a gray area, although.
(11:51):
There is no, I guess,straightforward and clear call
for them to strip it away at afederal level.
So I just want to present thatpiece of information.
However, it doesn't ultimatelyrule out the possibility of what
could happen, because as Imentioned, there are so many
things on the ballot this yearoutside of the presidential
(12:13):
election.
For example, there will be 33states that will hold state
supreme court elections, and onequarter of the 344 state supreme
court seats are up for election.
For election, so that isincredibly important at a state
level.
Additionally, whomever iselected as president is the 1
(12:38):
who gets to.
Decide who the federal SupremeCourt justices are.
As we have witnessed, Trump hadthe ability to elect three
Supreme Court justices in histime, which is insane and has
put the Supreme Court.
(12:59):
Pretty much a conservativemajority and that means that
whoever is elected next willlikely get to pick a Supreme
Court justice.
There are currently 2 SupremeCourt justices who we are kind
of waiting to see when, or ifthey're going to retire and
that's huge because they are thepeople who had the decision to
(13:23):
overturn Roe v.
Wade.
Again, I'm not, I'm not going togo into details, but my biggest
point here is that the electionfears are felt by so many.
And I just want to validatethat.
Like we've seen what's playedout over the last few years and
we don't want to find out whatwill happen if we don't vote or
(13:47):
if Trump gets reelected.
So again, I'm not sharinginformation to make us feel,
feel fearful, but to validatethat there are real fears
because it's been things thatwe've seen played out in our
past.
I know that my own partner and Ihave had ongoing discussions
(14:08):
about what it means for our ownmarriage plans.
Like, do those have to shift?
What does this mean for us?
Is our day to day life going tochange in the coming months?
It's been, it's been an ongoingconversation and I, I know that
so many of you out there are inthat same boat.
And so I really just want to saylike, I see you, and really, it
(14:33):
just sucks.
Like I think we all just need toalso leave space to say like,
this sucks that we have to bethinking so much about how our
rights could be changed nextweek.
After the election, I reallywanted to bring in an outside
voice and just kind of hear fromyou from people in the
(14:56):
community, how this has affectedyou.
And so please keep listening tohear from Kayla and Taylor as
they discuss how this currentpolitical climate and the
upcoming election influencedtheir decision to get married
early.
Will you two both introduceyourselves and your pronouns,
(15:19):
please?
I am Taylor Quay now.
Used to be Taylor Booth.
My pronouns are they, them.
I'm Kayla Quay, used to beThielman, and my pronouns are
she, her.
Wow, oh my gosh, we're gonnahave to talk all about this name
change in a second.
But before we get there for thefolks listening, I just wanted
(15:43):
to kind of give you two anopportunity to share anything
about like, your relationship,kind of like how you guys met,
anything you want to really,just to kind of give some
context.
We met in September of 2022, Ithink, and we started dating in
December typical lesbian, fellin love, and we got engaged.
(16:10):
In October, 2023 in Thailand.
And here we are.
Well, now we're married.
Now we're married.
Yeah.
We were not even engaged for ayear.
Yeah.
A little bit earlier than we hadoriginally planned, but yeah,
(16:32):
we're going on a little over amonth of being married now.
Yeah.
So.
That is, that is amazing.
And everybody has a uniquetimeline.
So I'm glad that you guys sharedyours.
First, can you share kind ofwhat you did this year?
Yeah.
So we went to the courthousewhere we live.
(16:58):
Well, we had to travel like anhour and a half away.
They didn't, they don't docourthouse weddings in our town.
Yes, it has to be a specificcourt.
So we went to the cities.
But we found a judge who wasavailable and we did a small, it
was just me and Taylor obviouslygetting married and then we had
(17:20):
two witnesses and Anna was thereas well to take our pictures.
Yeah, we originally, our planwas to get married in Colorado
next year, 2025, and with theupcoming election on November
5th coming up very quickly, wedecided that we wanted to be
(17:44):
married officially, legallybeforehand, just in case the
election goes.
don't want it to.
And that right is taken awayfrom us.
So we're still planning to havelike our wedding celebration and
everything next year, like wehad originally planned.
(18:04):
But we're just, we got the legalpart of it done.
And I mean, it was, it was stillfun and sweet, but Definitely
wasn't our original plan.
So, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I mean, yeah, it was gorgeous.
You both looked so amazing andit wasn't the OG plan.
(18:30):
Yeah, I'm kind of curious, like,what sort of sparked the initial
conversation between you 2 asfar as like, oh, like, maybe we
should actually.
Figure out if we wanna do this.
Now, I think I had insomnia onenight, and I was just laying in
bed and I was thinking about it.
(18:51):
It was probably two monthsbefore the courthouse wedding.
And I was just like, you know,they're talking about making it
illegal for gay people to getmarried again.
Maybe we should figure out if wecan do this before.
And then we had talked about itthe next day and we were like,
(19:13):
yep, let's do it.
Okay.
So it was pretty easy.
Like you guys are on the samepage.
We're very in touch with eachother.
Yeah, very similar opinions,thoughts, things like that.
Kayla did all the logisticalstuff of it because I am not
(19:38):
good at that stuff.
So she kind of like researchedlike what to do and found out
like we couldn't do it here inMankato and we had to travel
somewhere else.
We also discovered that theydon't do weddings during Open
hours.
So that's just not like youcan't just go to a courthouse
and then find where it saysweddings this way and follow the
(20:01):
arrow because there's no signsfor it or anything.
There's just a list of judgesonline about people who said
that they, you know, Are willingto do it.
So Kayla contacted one judge.
She didn't get back to us.
So then she ended up contactinganother judge.
And she got back to us and wescheduled a time and a day.
(20:25):
We were kind of wanting to do itseptember 20th, which is They
were, we had planned to getmarried in 2025 but it just
didn't work out with schedulesand stuff.
So we did it on September 12th,which is still wonderful and
great.
But it was less of like.
(20:45):
You get to choose exactly whattime where it was more just kind
of what the judge had availableand then what worked out for us.
And then we obviously had totravel a little bit.
So we had to make sure weweren't working and stuff like
that.
So, yeah, it's a big thing to,like, try to take on at the last
(21:07):
second for, yeah, an unfortunatereason, but.
Obviously, the outcome is stillbeautiful.
Okay.
What, like, obviously, yes, youguys are very in touch and
that's beautiful.
I think that's gonna obviouslyhelp you to have a very long and
(21:27):
happy marriage.
But like, what were the factorsthat you kind of discussed when
you were like, yeah, I think, Ithink this is our best bet and
like our safest option.
I think the biggest thing.
Was we want to be recognized aslegal spouses after the
(21:49):
election?
And we even said, well, ifthings get really bad here and
we want to move out of thecountry, it will be harder if we
are not married.
To get not even citizenship orwhatever, but however it would
work just everything would beeasier if we were legally
(22:11):
married and if all of our namechanges and all of that was
already done.
And we're moving out of statenext year.
So we just wanted everything tokind of be solid in case what
our fears are happens.
Right.
Yeah, and I know you touched onthis in your post just as far as
(22:31):
like being legal spouses offersyou the capability to actually
kind of do things in eachother's lives if need be.
Was that part of the discussionas well?
Yeah, think a part of it wehaven't like fully talked about
this, but something I've beenthinking about if we want to
adopt kids or Things like that,if we're not married, I feel
(22:57):
like that will also be anotherhurdle that you would have to
jump through.
So it kind of just makeseverything easier for the things
that we want in the future.
Yeah, yeah, totally.
Well, thank you so much forsharing.
Obviously, I know it's It's,it's been a weird couple months
(23:17):
and it is a weird time now,especially knowing that election
day is coming up so quickly.
So thank you so much for sharingthat.
Yeah, I really only have oneother question, which is just
for other queer folks listening,other queer couples, do you have
anything that you want to sharewith them?
(23:38):
Any advice or any encouragementor anything like that?
I think the biggest thing for meis, for me to share, is even if
your family doesn't validate youor see you or if they're saying
that they love you, but theyaren't accepting your queerness,
then.
They aren't loving you in theway that they should.
(24:00):
And I don't talk to any of myfamily anymore because of it.
And it's the best decision Imade, even though it was the
hardest one I've made.
So put yourself first.
And So your love is amazing.
That was gay enough, right?
Agree completely.
I mean, I'm always a hugeadvocate for like being yourself
(24:22):
and like living authentically.
And it really makes a bigdifference about who you
surround yourself with.
I've just now been able toreally truly be myself the last
couple of years with Kayla.
Before that I was surroundingmyself with people who weren't
(24:42):
prideful in their queerness andvery judgmental.
So I just Wasn't able todiscover who I am because I
wasn't in a space to do so.
So like, yes, be yourself, butalso it really depends on who
you're surrounding yourselfwith.
It helps to surround yourselfwith good people in order to be
(25:03):
yourself truly and fully.
Yeah.
all of this.
Yeah, community is so important.
And I think I don't want tospeak for you too, but kind of
just to segue it community isimportant right now because we
all need to go vote.
Yeah,
HP Envy USB Microphone (H (25:23):
well, thank you so, so much to Kayla
and Taylor for being guests onthe show and being willing to be
a little bit more vulnerable andshare about their experience.
I know for a fact, they're notthe only ones and I just.
Really value hearing from thecommunity, hearing their
(25:46):
perspective, hearing yourperspectives and hopefully that
kind of helped you understand tojust.
How real this is for all of usthese are things that, like I
said, I've been talking to mycouples and clients about, but
they've also been very realconversations and Facebook
groups and Reddit threads andpeople trying to figure out what
(26:08):
makes sense and what's actuallyhappening and what the safest
move is.
So, yeah, it's just been very,very real and very stressful for
so many people over the past fewmonths.
And so I'm just going to endwith what I said before, like
the stress has been real, likewhat we have been feeling is
(26:29):
real.
And I want you to feel validatedin that, but take that energy,
whether you are allies here,listening and learning, or
whether you are part of thecommunity.
Please vote.
Please, please, please, pleasevote.
Like this.
This is affecting our day to daylives.
This is affecting our transbrothers and sisters and
(26:51):
siblings.
It's affecting so many peopleand I know there has been a
rising attitude in young folksthat like, either A, my vote
doesn't really matter that much,or B, saying things like, well,
Kamala is problematic and so I'mjust not gonna vote at all.
(27:12):
And it's like, listen, I hearyou, but your vote is important
because there is potential forit to be a close race and also,
not voting is really showingyour privilege.
Like, these votes are life anddeath in some situations and
it's so, so important.
(27:35):
So please, vote.
Please vote.
And on that, I am going to leavejust a few resources.
One of my favorite resources isVote411.
You can sign up to get texts andreminders, and they will send
you helpful information likehelping figuring out your
polling place.
Also, if you just Google what'son my polling place I know it
(27:58):
does it for Minnesota, and Ithink it does it for other
states too, where it'll usuallybe the Secretary of State or
another government officialwebsite where you can type in
your address, and it'll show youexactly what your ballot's going
to look like, pretty much almostan exact copy, just so you know
what you're voting for.
Like, all of the names, all ofthe different things that are
going to be on your ballot sothat you can look at them, do
(28:21):
your research ahead of time andfeel really prepared to go into
the polling place.
I am always here to answerquestions as I can.
Also, Google is here.
There's so much information outthere to help you with that.
And the last thing I'll mentionis that there is another queer
podcast titled Made It Out.
And they are actually doing aseries that is all about the
(28:44):
election, voting, they'retalking to officials they're
sharing really good information,they're kind of breaking things
down and it's all queer ownedand run.
So I will be linking All ofthose things in the show notes
in case you find any of thosehelpful or interesting.
And with that, Cruelly Beloved,thank you so much for rejoining
(29:05):
after a long hiatus.
Thank you for voting.
Thank you for encouraging otherpeople to vote.
And I will see you here backnext week for maybe a slightly
cheerier episode.
Maybe not.
But November 5th, go vote.
All right, bye guys.
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