How do you notice when you subvert your needs to avoid conflict and what do you do about it?

Brandon Mahoney started this conversation off by saying he uses this as a tactic to end a conflict. It allows him to feel like the better person for being willing to walk away and perhaps sacrifice to make the other person happy.

 

Chelle Shapiro agreed. She will intentionally take herself out of a conversation to keep it from escalating; particularly if the other person is really not interesting in hearing what she has to say.

 

Philip Tate commended Brandon and Chelle for being self-aware enough to recognize when they are choosing to not demand their needs be met. Further commenting that many times people subvert what they need without even realizing they are doing it.

 

I agreed that there are times when it’s not a huge deal and you can just say, “Never mind, that I need isn’t important.” But it can become a recurring habit to avoiding conflict. I wondered how do you realize, “I don’t want to fight with you AND my needs aren’t being met.”

 

I also asked this panel how they deal with situations where maybe they let something go for too long and now they are saying, “Hey this is no longer okay.” But the person they are talking to is so used to getting their way, they get angry when you set a boundary.

 

Watch to the end where I shared a story that recently happened in my life where I had to make some tough choices.

 

How do you notice when you bury your needs? Is it always a problem and what do you do about it?

 

Connect with the panelists:

Chelle Shapiro: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chelleshapiro/

Marketing Strategist for Wellness Coaches & Consultants and recognized as one of the top 15 LinkedIn experts in New York city as well as the author of the book, Loving Yourself isn’t Selfish.

 

Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co-Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup and based on the west coast of the US.

 

Philip Tate: https://www.linkedin.com/in/philiptateaprfellowprsa/

He is a communications consultant doing Brand Building | Strategic Communications and Marketing based in Charlotte NC

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in business psychology with a concentration in high performance. I provide customized, confidential, high-performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

 

Want a summary of Quick Hits in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com