How do you respond when someone says something mean and then adds “just kidding”?

Well, this was not the conversation I expected to have on this topic. All three of my panelists they use “just kidding” in conversation.

 

In contrast, I find it inauthentic and rude.

 

Bonnie Versace shared that she uses it as “benign sarcasm.” She doesn’t mean for it to be harmful or detrimental in any way.

 

Atif Agha agreed saying some people just think it’s funny or they might be using it to say, “I didn't mean to say it, or it didn't come out right.”

 

Brandon Mahoney went further saying it is up to the recipient to understand the relationship well enough to realize if the person saying it meant to be hurtful or if they really are just teasing and joking.

 

After years of being told I was too thin skinned and I couldn’t “take a joke” I finally realized it is not my responsibility to have thick enough skin to be okay for you to cut me and laugh while I bleed.

 

What do you think? Is “just kidding” an okay way to smooth over something off-putting you might have said or is it a cover up for being rude? Do you use it or do you really dislike it?

 

Connect with the panelists:

Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/

Technology specialist doing data analytics and avid runner, based in Chicago

 

Bonnie Sussman-Versace: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bversace/

Re-imaginer at FOCUSED LLC. Where she specializes in developing leaders, building positive and productive workplace cultures, and improving individual, team and enterprise-wide performance

 

Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co-Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

 

Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com