July 22, 2025 • 10 mins
Feeling overwhelmed by endless to-dos and self-care “shoulds”?
Discover the power of the Not Now List- a simple brain-dump strategy designed for busy, creative minds (especially if you’re juggling ADHD, parenting, or just too much at once).
Learn how to reclaim your focus, honor your ideas, and finally give yourself permission to do less—without guilt. Press play and find your moment of calm!
To find more tips and support, visit theADHDMom.com and subscribe to the show!
Jessica is a Creative wife & mom of 3 from Northwest Pennsylvania. She is a voiceover artist at Jessica Lewis Voice and enjoys creating calming art through macro and landscape photography at The Painted Square.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jessica Lewis (00:00):
Welcome to Quick Wins for ADHD Moms podcast.
Today's quick win is a gamechanger.
It's called The Not Now List.
This isn't your kids coming upto you and you say, Hey, not
now.
Okay?
We're not talking about theirlists, we're talking about the
lists that eat up all of thetime in your brain.
You know what I'm talking about?
(00:21):
All the things.
Oh, I should be doing this, Ishould be doing that.
Well, we're gonna put all ofthat or most of it on the Not
Now list.
Let's dive in.
So, you know, that moment whenyour brain starts rapid firing,
self-improvement ideas like, oh,I, I should start journaling
again.
Or, oh, I haven't taken myvitamins in days, maybe months.
(00:43):
I really need to book thatdoctor's appointment.
I should drink more water.
Oh, maybe I should try yogaagain or maybe go for a run.
Uh, maybe I would be better offif I delete Instagram.
Insert whatever you think thatyou need to be doing here.
So now you're overwhelmed by allof the things that are supposed
to help you feel better, andthat's the problem.
(01:04):
When everything feels urgent,nothing actually gets done,
especially if you're parenting.
Struggling work, working fromhome, adhd, and that's the
problem.
When everything feels urgent andwe know, we know this feeling,
everything feels urgent, nothingactually gets done, especially
(01:24):
when you're parenting and alsoworking from home.
Maybe your spouse is workingfrom home too.
It's a lot to juggle, but here'swhere the not now list comes in.
Instead of letting your brainrun wild, which can be fun
sometimes, but not when it'soverwhelmed wild.
Just pause, breathe, and dothis.
Grab your phone, grab a note.
(01:45):
Just pick up any sticky notepiece of paper and just write
out, not now, then dump it allout.
Every should.
That's floating in your brain.
Every self-care goal, everyhabit you wanna try, maybe a
podcast someone recommended,maybe a smoothie recipe that you
want to try out all of thatstuff.
(02:05):
Just put it on the not now list.
Let it live somewhere and giveyourself permission to not do it
right now.
One of my favorite brain dumpingstations is notion.
It's basically my second brainbecause I know that my ADHD
brain, I need outside structurebecause everything inside I'm
not gonna remember and it'sgonna be all jumbled.
(02:28):
So I use notion to keep my, keepmyself in order.
And I have different lists too.
Like I know there's work tasklists and there there's home
task lists, but sometimes I'mnot sure which one it is and I
just need to get outta my brain.
So I just create a new note andI just dump everything in the
new note and it saves it, and Ican actually research that or
(02:49):
look that up later if I need tocome back to it later.
I find that a lot of times Idon't even need to come back to
it.
I just need to get it out of mybrain and then I can move on.
I know that it's safe.
Like I know that I can look itup later and then I can forget
about it and then I won't feelbad that I might forget about
it.
It's all there, but I also knowI don't have to act on it right
(03:10):
now.
And it's interesting lookingback at the lists that you make
and you think, why was that soimportant?
Why did that take up so muchbrain space?
Why did I feel that was urgent?
I'm so glad I didn't act on thatbecause it was a distraction.
But having a place to dumpeverything out and get it out of
your brain gives you a sense ofcontrol without the pressure of
(03:32):
having to do everything.
It's like honoring your ideas,like telling yourself, wow,
you're creative.
You have such great ideas, butwe don't have to do that right
now.
The not now list.
It's not about ignoring yourneeds, it's just about creating
a safe space to park yourthoughts so that they don't
hijack your current moment.
(03:53):
Because here's the deal, ADHDbrains are fantastic at idea
generation and energy bursts,and we want to do all of those
things now and all at once, butthe follow through.
That comes from calm andclarity, and we don't get calm
and clarity when our brains areping ponging with 27 things we
(04:13):
haven't done yet.
Not to mention the thousands ofthings that our kids want us to
do right now.
The Hey mom.
Hey mom.
Watch this.
Watch this.
Look at me.
It's so hard when there's athousand things going in my
brain and I'm like, what?
Watch what?
Huh?
We just want a moment of calmand clarity, right?
So then what do you do after youmake the list?
(04:33):
One thing you can do is donothing.
Just get it all out and leave itthere.
Another thing you could do isjust scan through it, see if
there's anything on there thatyou know you absolutely need to
get done, and make sure it'stiny.
Don't pick something big.
You don't wanna overwhelmyourself again, just look at it
and see if there's just a tinything that maybe just calling
the doctor and scheduling thatappointment.
(04:54):
Maybe you have to do that andyou can just get that done.
But get everything else in yourbrain out of your brain so you
can think about the mostimportant things you need to get
done.
And somehow we tell ourselves,yeah, but that's not enough.
I have a huge list.
And doing one small little thingdoesn't feel like enough, but it
is.
Brushing your teeth.
(05:14):
Do you ever, this sounds dumb,but do you ever struggle with
just brushing your teeth?
Like I'll get started on my dayand I forget, and I have a
morning routine, but I literallyforget my morning routine every
morning.
So in notion, I go on and I'mlike, here's the things you need
to do today.
You're gonna start out withdevotions, you're gonna start
out with double checking to makesure you don't have any live
(05:38):
sessions that you need to bedoing today, or meetings that
you can't miss.
Make sure your kids don't haveappointments that's going on.
It's in my calendar, but it'salso a notion to remind me, oh
yeah, check the calendar.
I have to remind myself to checkthe calendar and brush my teeth.
I know it sounds ridiculous, butonce I recognize I need outside
structure to keep me organized,then I can go back and look
(06:00):
because my memory is.
Is off the charts bad, but it'sokay because I'm writing things
down and I have a system.
And maybe that's what you needto, maybe you just have
everything in your head becauseall of your friends don't
struggle with that.
All of your friends justremember things.
Well, you're not them.
You are you.
(06:21):
If you struggle with ADHD andhave an ADHD brain, it just
functions differently thaneverybody else.
So you've heard this many timesbefore, but you can't compare
yourself to someone else.
This can be the moment where yourecognize that, okay, my brain
doesn't work like everybodyelse, and that's okay.
And here's what I need.
I need outside structure.
(06:41):
What does that look like?
And maybe you spend your timetrying to figure out how to put
that structure together, how tosend yourself reminders
throughout the day.
Whether that's on your watch ormaybe your phone reminders,
there's so many ways that youcan set up outside structure
these days.
It's just whatever is going towork for you.
And then whatever small taskthat you end up doing, whether
(07:02):
it's just brushing your teeth,that's enough.
Tell yourself that's enough.
You don't have to do the 10million things that are on your
task list right now.
Just do one small thing andremind yourself that's enough.
One of the things on my morningroutine, and it's really simple
and I do have to look at myroutine list to remember things.
(07:22):
Something that has become ahabit, and I don't, don't have
to look at it, is just making mybed.
I know it's one tiny action, butif I start with that, it really
sets the tone for the day.
And what's great about that oneis I am always walking into the
bedroom and I see it.
I'm like, oh, it's a visualreminder.
Oh, you need to make the bed.
Another visual reminder that Ilove after I make my bed, it's
(07:43):
all clean and then I'll dump thelaundry onto the bed.
So it's a visual reminder that,oh, you need to do laundry
today.
And it sounds ridiculous, butthese visual reminders is how I
go about my day.
I know not everybody struggleswith that, but I need visual
reminders and that's what works.
Sometimes I don't even have theenergy to do all of the laundry,
(08:05):
so I'll just go in and grab acouple pieces that are on top
and I'll just fold a couplepieces of laundry.
Sometimes I'll just leave itthere.
Other times, just that onelittle action of grabbing a
shirt and folding a shirt givesme enough momentum that I end up
just doing the entire load oflaundry.
'cause then I get hyper-focusedon folding all of the laundry.
(08:26):
So dump everything out onto apiece of paper.
On in, in notion, maybe emailyourself, your task list,
whatever's gonna work for you.
Get it out of your brain becauseour ADHD brains are seeking
dopamine.
And in the moment we want to doall of the things that seem
really exciting, but then ourexecutive function part of our
(08:47):
brain taps out, and then webecome paralyzed.
We start scrolling.
And the Not Now list just meetsyou where you are.
It lets you capture thatexcitement in all the ideas
without letting them own you.
It's a boundary.
It says, Hey, I hear you.
You have great ideas, but let'snot lose'em.
(09:08):
So we're gonna pick one andthat's gonna be enough for now.
And I know with growing tasklists, it feels like, especially
as a mom, especially as an ADHDmom, it's easy to feel like
you're falling behind all of thetime.
Like everyone else has theirmorning routine and color coded
calendar and gym membership theyactually use and a pantry full
(09:30):
of glass jars and beautifulorganized life.
But let me say this clearly toyou right now.
You are not behind.
You're figuring out how to builda life that works for you and
you're on this journey.
It's a real time journey withreal life obstacles and your
brain just works differently.
(09:50):
The Not Now list helps honorthat journey.
It says, yep, I care.
I have goals.
I wrote them all down, but I'mnot chasing them from a place of
pressure anymore.
And that's huge.
So the next time you feeloverwhelmed with too many ideas,
too many tasks to do, too manygood intentions, just write them
down and then ask, what's theone tiny thing I can do right
(10:13):
now that would just feel good orsupportive?
And let that be enough.
You can always come back to thelist.
So thanks for listening andhanging out with me today.
I know that you're crazy busy.
I don't know that that will everchange, but your mindset about
it can change.
So thanks for hanging out withme today.
I hope you found this reallyhelpful and encouraging.
(10:33):
And if you did, just share itwith a friend who also needs to
hear this.
Be kind to yourself'cause you'redoing better than you think.
Welcome to Quick Wins for ADHD Moms podcast.
Today's quick win is a gamechanger.
It's called The Not Now List.
This isn't your kids coming upto you and you say, Hey, not
now.
Okay?
We're not talking about theirlists, we're talking about the
lists that eat up all of thetime in your brain.
You know what I'm talking about?
(00:21):
All the things.
Oh, I should be doing this, Ishould be doing that.
Well, we're gonna put all ofthat or most of it on the Not
Now list.
Let's dive in.
So, you know, that moment whenyour brain starts rapid firing,
self-improvement ideas like, oh,I, I should start journaling
again.
Or, oh, I haven't taken myvitamins in days, maybe months.
(00:43):
I really need to book thatdoctor's appointment.
I should drink more water.
Oh, maybe I should try yogaagain or maybe go for a run.
Uh, maybe I would be better offif I delete Instagram.
Insert whatever you think thatyou need to be doing here.
So now you're overwhelmed by allof the things that are supposed
to help you feel better, andthat's the problem.
(01:04):
When everything feels urgent,nothing actually gets done,
especially if you're parenting.
Struggling work, working fromhome, adhd, and that's the
problem.
When everything feels urgent andwe know, we know this feeling,
everything feels urgent, nothingactually gets done, especially
(01:24):
when you're parenting and alsoworking from home.
Maybe your spouse is workingfrom home too.
It's a lot to juggle, but here'swhere the not now list comes in.
Instead of letting your brainrun wild, which can be fun
sometimes, but not when it'soverwhelmed wild.
Just pause, breathe, and dothis.
Grab your phone, grab a note.
(01:45):
Just pick up any sticky notepiece of paper and just write
out, not now, then dump it allout.
Every should.
That's floating in your brain.
Every self-care goal, everyhabit you wanna try, maybe a
podcast someone recommended,maybe a smoothie recipe that you
want to try out all of thatstuff.
(02:05):
Just put it on the not now list.
Let it live somewhere and giveyourself permission to not do it
right now.
One of my favorite brain dumpingstations is notion.
It's basically my second brainbecause I know that my ADHD
brain, I need outside structurebecause everything inside I'm
not gonna remember and it'sgonna be all jumbled.
(02:28):
So I use notion to keep my, keepmyself in order.
And I have different lists too.
Like I know there's work tasklists and there there's home
task lists, but sometimes I'mnot sure which one it is and I
just need to get outta my brain.
So I just create a new note andI just dump everything in the
new note and it saves it, and Ican actually research that or
(02:49):
look that up later if I need tocome back to it later.
I find that a lot of times Idon't even need to come back to
it.
I just need to get it out of mybrain and then I can move on.
I know that it's safe.
Like I know that I can look itup later and then I can forget
about it and then I won't feelbad that I might forget about
it.
It's all there, but I also knowI don't have to act on it right
(03:10):
now.
And it's interesting lookingback at the lists that you make
and you think, why was that soimportant?
Why did that take up so muchbrain space?
Why did I feel that was urgent?
I'm so glad I didn't act on thatbecause it was a distraction.
But having a place to dumpeverything out and get it out of
your brain gives you a sense ofcontrol without the pressure of
(03:32):
having to do everything.
It's like honoring your ideas,like telling yourself, wow,
you're creative.
You have such great ideas, butwe don't have to do that right
now.
The not now list.
It's not about ignoring yourneeds, it's just about creating
a safe space to park yourthoughts so that they don't
hijack your current moment.
(03:53):
Because here's the deal, ADHDbrains are fantastic at idea
generation and energy bursts,and we want to do all of those
things now and all at once, butthe follow through.
That comes from calm andclarity, and we don't get calm
and clarity when our brains areping ponging with 27 things we
(04:13):
haven't done yet.
Not to mention the thousands ofthings that our kids want us to
do right now.
The Hey mom.
Hey mom.
Watch this.
Watch this.
Look at me.
It's so hard when there's athousand things going in my
brain and I'm like, what?
Watch what?
Huh?
We just want a moment of calmand clarity, right?
So then what do you do after youmake the list?
(04:33):
One thing you can do is donothing.
Just get it all out and leave itthere.
Another thing you could do isjust scan through it, see if
there's anything on there thatyou know you absolutely need to
get done, and make sure it'stiny.
Don't pick something big.
You don't wanna overwhelmyourself again, just look at it
and see if there's just a tinything that maybe just calling
the doctor and scheduling thatappointment.
(04:54):
Maybe you have to do that andyou can just get that done.
But get everything else in yourbrain out of your brain so you
can think about the mostimportant things you need to get
done.
And somehow we tell ourselves,yeah, but that's not enough.
I have a huge list.
And doing one small little thingdoesn't feel like enough, but it
is.
Brushing your teeth.
(05:14):
Do you ever, this sounds dumb,but do you ever struggle with
just brushing your teeth?
Like I'll get started on my dayand I forget, and I have a
morning routine, but I literallyforget my morning routine every
morning.
So in notion, I go on and I'mlike, here's the things you need
to do today.
You're gonna start out withdevotions, you're gonna start
out with double checking to makesure you don't have any live
(05:38):
sessions that you need to bedoing today, or meetings that
you can't miss.
Make sure your kids don't haveappointments that's going on.
It's in my calendar, but it'salso a notion to remind me, oh
yeah, check the calendar.
I have to remind myself to checkthe calendar and brush my teeth.
I know it sounds ridiculous, butonce I recognize I need outside
structure to keep me organized,then I can go back and look
(06:00):
because my memory is.
Is off the charts bad, but it'sokay because I'm writing things
down and I have a system.
And maybe that's what you needto, maybe you just have
everything in your head becauseall of your friends don't
struggle with that.
All of your friends justremember things.
Well, you're not them.
You are you.
(06:21):
If you struggle with ADHD andhave an ADHD brain, it just
functions differently thaneverybody else.
So you've heard this many timesbefore, but you can't compare
yourself to someone else.
This can be the moment where yourecognize that, okay, my brain
doesn't work like everybodyelse, and that's okay.
And here's what I need.
I need outside structure.
(06:41):
What does that look like?
And maybe you spend your timetrying to figure out how to put
that structure together, how tosend yourself reminders
throughout the day.
Whether that's on your watch ormaybe your phone reminders,
there's so many ways that youcan set up outside structure
these days.
It's just whatever is going towork for you.
And then whatever small taskthat you end up doing, whether
(07:02):
it's just brushing your teeth,that's enough.
Tell yourself that's enough.
You don't have to do the 10million things that are on your
task list right now.
Just do one small thing andremind yourself that's enough.
One of the things on my morningroutine, and it's really simple
and I do have to look at myroutine list to remember things.
(07:22):
Something that has become ahabit, and I don't, don't have
to look at it, is just making mybed.
I know it's one tiny action, butif I start with that, it really
sets the tone for the day.
And what's great about that oneis I am always walking into the
bedroom and I see it.
I'm like, oh, it's a visualreminder.
Oh, you need to make the bed.
Another visual reminder that Ilove after I make my bed, it's
(07:43):
all clean and then I'll dump thelaundry onto the bed.
So it's a visual reminder that,oh, you need to do laundry
today.
And it sounds ridiculous, butthese visual reminders is how I
go about my day.
I know not everybody struggleswith that, but I need visual
reminders and that's what works.
Sometimes I don't even have theenergy to do all of the laundry,
(08:05):
so I'll just go in and grab acouple pieces that are on top
and I'll just fold a couplepieces of laundry.
Sometimes I'll just leave itthere.
Other times, just that onelittle action of grabbing a
shirt and folding a shirt givesme enough momentum that I end up
just doing the entire load oflaundry.
'cause then I get hyper-focusedon folding all of the laundry.
(08:26):
So dump everything out onto apiece of paper.
On in, in notion, maybe emailyourself, your task list,
whatever's gonna work for you.
Get it out of your brain becauseour ADHD brains are seeking
dopamine.
And in the moment we want to doall of the things that seem
really exciting, but then ourexecutive function part of our
(08:47):
brain taps out, and then webecome paralyzed.
We start scrolling.
And the Not Now list just meetsyou where you are.
It lets you capture thatexcitement in all the ideas
without letting them own you.
It's a boundary.
It says, Hey, I hear you.
You have great ideas, but let'snot lose'em.
(09:08):
So we're gonna pick one andthat's gonna be enough for now.
And I know with growing tasklists, it feels like, especially
as a mom, especially as an ADHDmom, it's easy to feel like
you're falling behind all of thetime.
Like everyone else has theirmorning routine and color coded
calendar and gym membership theyactually use and a pantry full
(09:30):
of glass jars and beautifulorganized life.
But let me say this clearly toyou right now.
You are not behind.
You're figuring out how to builda life that works for you and
you're on this journey.
It's a real time journey withreal life obstacles and your
brain just works differently.
(09:50):
The Not Now list helps honorthat journey.
It says, yep, I care.
I have goals.
I wrote them all down, but I'mnot chasing them from a place of
pressure anymore.
And that's huge.
So the next time you feeloverwhelmed with too many ideas,
too many tasks to do, too manygood intentions, just write them
down and then ask, what's theone tiny thing I can do right
(10:13):
now that would just feel good orsupportive?
And let that be enough.
You can always come back to thelist.
So thanks for listening andhanging out with me today.
I know that you're crazy busy.
I don't know that that will everchange, but your mindset about
it can change.
So thanks for hanging out withme today.
I hope you found this reallyhelpful and encouraging.
(10:33):
And if you did, just share itwith a friend who also needs to
hear this.
Be kind to yourself'cause you'redoing better than you think.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.