The 1-3-5 Rule: How To Stop Chasing Shiny Objects

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In this episode of The ADHD Mom, Jess addresses the common struggle of unfinished projects and constant distraction by new ideas. 

She introduces the 1-3-5 rule: a simple strategy to help ADHD moms focus and complete tasks. Oh - and you can teach your kids this too!

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Jessica is a Creative wife & mom of 3 from Northwest Pennsylvania. She is a voiceover artist at Jessica Lewis Voice and enjoys creating calming art through macro and landscape photography at The Painted Square.

Episode Transcript

Jessica Lewis (00:00):
Hey, A DHD moms.
Okay, let me guess.
You have 10 half finishedprojects at home right now.
An inbox full of courses you'vebought, but uh, never completed.
You've started, but they're notcompleted, and your brain just
won't stop chasing new, excitingthings.
If you're nodding your headright now, don't worry.

(00:21):
You're not the only one.
And I've got a simple strategythat might help.
Hey, this is the A DHD Mom show.
I'm Jess, and today we'retackling something.
I know way too well that endlesschase after shiny objects.
Well, if you're listening whilefolding laundry or you're
attacking your kids around,don't worry, I've got a simple

(00:43):
strategy you can start usingtoday.
First, let's talk about why wechase these shiny objects.
We know we do it, but why?
Well, our A DHD brains areliterally wired to seek novelty.
They wanna try something new.
They wanna have a uniqueperspective on things they wanna
add color to it.

(01:03):
That new project, it gives us adopamine hit in the new exciting
course.
Well, it.
it promises the solution we havebeen craving.
But here's the truth.
Chasing everything means chasingnothing.
for today's quick win, for the ADHD Mom, the 1 3 5 rule.

(01:25):
One big goal, three action stepsand a five minute start.
So one big goal, you are gonnachoose one main focus for today.
Maybe the week, maybe it's amonth.
Okay.
Just one.
And you're gonna write it downwhere you're gonna see that
daily.

(01:45):
You are gonna create threeaction steps.
So break that big idea, breakthat big goal into three
concrete steps, and make themfeel small enough that it's
actually doable.
And then make it a five minutestart.
Commit to working on one actionstep for just five minutes each
day.
So one big goal, three actionsteps and make it a five minute

(02:10):
start.
Either work on the action stepfor just five minutes a day or
make the action steps a fiveminute start.
So it's easy to ease into,because you know, once we start
something, we just kind of keepgoing, right?
but here's why that works forour A DHD brains.
It gives us clear boundaries asmuch as we rebel against

(02:34):
boundaries and want somethingnew, our brains actually need
structure.
So this framework gives us clearboundaries.
It also makes progressmeasurable.
We get that dopamine hit when weget to cross off that task,
right?
And it's flexible enough to workwith our energy levels.
And for me this was huge,realizing that it's okay to have

(02:58):
structure and it's okay that thestructure is flexible because
time is so different in the ADHD brain, some people can work
with a really rigid timeline andreally rigid structure, and I've
tried that and it's really,it's, and it's really difficult
for me.
So learning that, yes, structureis good, but also flexibility is

(03:20):
good, and that's what helps uskeep our energy levels in sync
instead of timelines.
Once I found out that my brainworks better on energy
management and not timemanagement, I'm able to get a
lot of tasks done faster andeasier.
So now that you know that youneed to pick one big thing, how

(03:41):
do you do that?
How do you pick just one thing?
There's a thousand things inyour brain right now.
Well, here's, here's how I doit.
I give myself permission to haveall the ideas I want.
I can write them down or I canjust let them float around in my
head.
But the main thing is that Igive myself permission to have

(04:01):
all of those ideas.
There's no shame and you don'thave to act on all of them.
But the challenge is you have tojust pick one and that is really
hard.
So I want you to pause and thinkof that one thing you really
want to focus on.
So I'm a visual person andsometimes this is how I approach

(04:23):
it.
All right?
Take a deep breath and then justlet the things, all the things
swirl around in your head.
So imagine all of it's swirlingaround in your head now, what
are the one or two things thateither rise to the top or sink
to the bottom as all of theseideas are floating around in

(04:44):
your head?
What's that one thing that risesto the top?
Maybe it's a new business idea.
Maybe it's a creative projectthat you wanted to start, or a
home organization system thatyou know that you need to do.
Okay?
Do you have that one thing inyour head right now?

(05:04):
All right.
Now I want you to break it downinto three steps.
Write it down, or if you can'tand you're driving, let's make a
visual in your head.
So imagine three giant balloonsabove you.
All right?
And the first balloon is stepone.
Second balloon is step two.
The third balloon is.

(05:24):
Step three.
Right?
And imagine what those threesteps are.
Alright.
Were you able to break that onebig idea down into those three
different steps or those threedifferent balloons?
All right.
And you're standing there andyou're holding your balloons and
the step one, two, and three areright above you got that visual.

(05:45):
I know it's weird, but visualsand colors, just help me
remember and connect it to mybrain.
So now you have the one big ideaand you have three balloons or
three steps that you're going todo.
That's only gonna take aboutfive minutes to do each step.
Or it'll take five minutes toget started on each step.
The 1 3 5 roll.

(06:07):
All right, so really quick,let's recap.
We have the 1 3 5 role.
Do you have that one big thingin your head right now?
The three steps or the threeballoons that are only gonna
take five minutes to eithercomplete the task or five
minutes to get started into thataction step?
1 3 5, roll Give yourselfpermission to focus on just one

(06:31):
thing, and then let that bloom.
You're not behind, you're notfailing.
You're just learning to workwith your beautiful, unique
brain.
So use the 1 3 5 rule today ormaybe this week or in your
business, and notice how itfeels to focus on one thing

(06:52):
instead of chasing every shinyobject that catches your eye.
And hey, let me know how itgoes.
You can find [e-mail].
Thanks for listening and sharethe podcast with another A DHD
mom.
We're here to encourage anddefinitely help each other.
Until next time, have abeautiful day.