July 20, 2025 • 14 mins
Have you ever held onto a dream that others couldn't see? That burning vision that persists even when practical obstacles seem insurmountable?
The journey from dream to reality requires more than wishful thinking—it demands meticulous planning and unwavering belief. I share my recent experience planning an event that started as a vision to honor my mother and Black women, facing skepticism and zero funding, yet ultimately sold out in six weeks and doubled in size. The lesson? "You can't depend on somebody else to make your vision come to life. You just have to go for it with everything you've got."
Planning isn't just about organization—it's about empowerment. Whether creating spreadsheets for large events or writing grocery lists for family dinners, effective planning turns seemingly impossible dreams into achievable goals. I break down my process of list-making, from initial outlines to detailed steps, and how this skill has served me throughout life. The habits I learned from my mother—who planned her own funeral arrangements six months before passing—show how an organization creates a legacy and eases burdens for others.
If you've ever felt your dreams dismissed or struggled to manage competing priorities, this episode offers practical wisdom about maintaining your vision while adapting your approach. Your plans might need revision, but your dreams never need abandonment. Don't drift through life hoping to accomplish your goals—plan deliberately, document carefully, and watch as your vision materializes despite the doubters.
====================================
Carmen Wimberley Cauthen is an author, speaker, and lover of history, Black history in particular. As a truth teller, she delights in finding the hidden truths about the lives of people who made a difference - whether they were unknown icons or regular everyday people.
To Learn more of Carmen:
www.carmencauthen.com
www.researchandresource.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Unseen, unheard.
We've lived like that far toolong.
I'm Carmen Coffin and this isQuiet, no More, hi.
Today I want to talk aboutplanning.
(00:22):
Today I want to talk aboutplanning.
I just finished planning anevent that I didn't know I'd
never done anything like thatbefore.
It was an event that, in mymind, I can envision four or
five hundred people attending,but I've never planned anything
(00:43):
that's that size where I haven'tbeen doing it for somebody else
, so somebody else had theresponsibility of paying for it,
raising the money, although Ihave done something where, at
the last minute, I had to do thefundraising because the
organization didn't realize thatthey were going to have.
They needed to be doing thatall the time anyway.
(01:05):
So, anyway, it takes a lot toplan an event and you're going
to run into bumps, and it's nodifferent than anything else in
life Whenever you're planningsomething, because you might be
just planning a holiday meal,you might be planning a family
(01:29):
member's birthday party butplanning means you have to be in
charge of the vision.
You know what you want it tolook like.
You know what you want it tofeel like.
You know what you want it tofeel like.
You know what you want it totaste like.
And so once you make your mindup what you want, then you just
have to go after it and do it.
(01:50):
So the group of folks that Iwas working with you know they
were worried because we didn'thave any money to get started
with and I was a littleconcerned.
But you know, I just figured Icould do it, we could do it, it
could be done.
Anything can be done if you setyour mind to it.
(02:10):
That's something that I haveheard all my life from both my
parents.
You know, if you want to do it,just make it happen, do it.
And sometimes that means youhave to revise what your plan
looks like if you don't have allthe funds or if you don't have
all the pieces.
But that's OK.
It doesn't mean that you failif you don't have the place or
(02:33):
if you're not at the place thatyou wanted to be.
So when I first talked to thepeople that I asked to help me
as a steering committee, theydidn't see the 300 people
because they didn't see anymoney and it's hard to see
something when there's no money.
So we agreed that I would cutit back to 150 people and then I
(03:01):
would raise some money beforewe sold the ticket.
That was disappointing to me,because I felt like I needed the
ticket sales to validate what Iwas doing.
But I'm excited about what I'mdoing, and so, as I was talking
to people and sharinginformation, I shared my
(03:24):
excitement, and it helped otherpeople to be excited as well.
It helped other people to beable to see at least a piece of
the vision, even if they didn'tsee all of it, and that's
another thing.
It's not their vision, it'syour vision.
So you can't depend on somebodyelse to make your vision come
(03:45):
to life.
You just have to go for it witheverything you've got, and if
you're walking in that direction, it's going to work.
Just believe it's going to work.
And so, as I said, my originalvision was four to 600 people.
(04:05):
I thought we needed theconvention center.
I wanted a former president tocome and speak, knowing full
well that that would be three or$400,000.
And I didn't know how I wasgoing to raise 10 at that point.
And so I was willing to revisemy vision, but not to give it up
(04:26):
.
That's important.
You can't give up on yourdreams and your visions.
You can't give up.
This vision has been in my headfor two years.
I didn't start speaking ituntil a year ago and literally a
year ago, and I told one personfirst and then I started to
(04:51):
tell others, and originally itwas a vision to honor one person
, and the honor is now up to 400people and the event sold out
in six weeks.
The last week, the sales endedup causing the event to double
(05:12):
in size from what it wasoriginally planned to be.
Fortunately, we had found avenue that could hold double in
size, because my vision did notallow me to stop at the small
number.
So do you hear what I'm saying?
(05:32):
What I'm saying is your vision,your plan.
Make it work, do what you needto do, even if nobody else is
going along with you.
Now, if you're talking aboutdoing something wrong like I'm
not robbing a bank, so ifsomebody else's vision doesn't
(05:53):
go along with that, that's fine.
But my vision was to honor mymother and to honor black women,
and that vision has caught fire, even when people said why are
you doing this?
You can't do this, you don'thave time to do this, but that's
(06:14):
my heart passion, and so myheart passion is being fulfilled
and I really only needed to dothis one time, but now people
want to do it over, they want toreplicate it, they want to do
it in other places.
There was a hunger for this.
It was a hunger on the inside,not just for me, but for other
(06:35):
people.
So when you create a plan, I'm alist builder.
I am a spreadsheet person.
Now, I don't know how to reallyuse a spreadsheet, but I know
how to use it for what I want touse it for.
I haven't had any training init, but I know how to write a
list on a piece of paper andmark off what I've done as I've
(06:56):
gone along, and the list canstart out as just an outline and
then take the outline and addpieces to it.
So if I know I want to have adinner, I know I need a place to
have it, and that could be mydining room or my living room.
I need chairs, I need food.
(07:19):
I need, you know, if I want itto be nice.
I need special plates, whetherthat's my china or my chinette,
whether they're decorated for aholiday or whether they're some
plain colored ones that I boughtwhen they were on clearance.
Because you know I'm going tobuy something on sale, I'm not
(07:42):
spending the full amount onanything.
So if I know I'm serving food,I write out a menu and then I
take the menu and if there arerecipes that I'm making, I take
the recipes and I break therecipes down and then I create a
list of how much of each thingin all the recipes I need and I
(08:05):
buy it all at the same time,preferably when it's on sale.
Sometimes the menu will changebecause I'll go to the grocery
store and something will be onclearance and it's enough to
serve however many people I'mplanning for.
So I'll buy that and cook that.
So every detail comes down toplanning.
(08:27):
So I've taught my children thatI had a child who was going to
buy a car.
She wrote down everything sheneeded to know, everything she
needed to have, every detail andevery step for how she needed
to go get it, where to research,to look for the car, the kinds
of questions she needed to askwhen she went to the dealership,
(08:49):
what she needed to do ahead oftime.
There were some things that Ihad learned and she would come
and talk to me and I would sharethose with her, like if you
don't want to go haggle, thenthere are some terms that you
need to say to let them know youmean business and you just want
a final price.
You don't want to be running,you don't want your salesperson
(09:10):
to run back and forth betweenhimself and the sales manager,
you just want to know what's thefinal price going to be,
because they don't need to knowhow much money you've got.
They don't need to know all ofthat.
But anyhow, she created listand so that's also how we
(09:30):
remember stuff in life anyway,and so that's also how we
remember stuff in life anyway.
I'm not at a stage in life whereI can remember everything I
talk to you about.
So if it's stuff that needs tobe important, I have a notebook
in my pocketbook all the time.
It doesn't have to be a bignotebook, but it has to be
(09:50):
something that I can writesomething down on.
Or if you are using everythingdigital, there's a place to put
notes in your phone and then youdon't forget the stuff that you
need to remember.
If there's a date I was talkinglistening to a friend of mine
earlier today and she wastalking about adults need
reminders.
Yes, we do.
If we are busy people, if weare not busy people, we need to
(10:13):
have it written down that suchand such is this day.
That way we don't double book.
That way we don't overcommitourselves.
Well, we might overcommitourselves, but at least we're
not double booked while we'reovercommittee.
But I can put something in myphone and tell it to remind me
30 minutes ahead of time, or ifit's a birthday, it's in my
(10:36):
phone and it reminds me two orthree days ahead of time Longer
than that if I need to buy agift for something.
But those are important things.
Planning is important and it'skey for you to get to the place
that you want to get to.
If you just assume that youwill get there, you will drift
(10:59):
along and you will not everaccomplish any of the things
that you set out to do.
Why am I telling you this?
Because everybody doesn't havesomebody to tell them that.
I grew up with a mother who hada notepad all the time and even
six months before she died shehad been in the hospital.
(11:23):
We came home and within aweek's time she had scheduled an
appointment at the funeral homeand she said we're going and
pick out everything.
And I was like why?
And she had started writing herobituary and writing down the
plans that she wanted, and mydad was like I'm not doing that,
(11:45):
carmen can do that, and he leftit all to me to do.
Yes, he did, but my mother saidafter about another month.
She said whenever I die,there's an envelope under this
little table and it haseverything you need in it.
It's got the obituary, it's gotthe plan for the funeral
service, it's got the picturesfor the program.
(12:07):
Everything was in there, exceptfor the one thing that I asked
her for, which was what Bibleverses do you want read?
That part was the only thing Iasked for.
That was the part she didn'tgive me, but that's who I
learned from, so I'm trying toteach you today.
Hear me and hear me well, plan,write it down, keep a list.
(12:30):
If you can't keep all the listson a piece of paper and you've
got a computer or a phone with anotes app, write it there,
because I realized that I havewritten down years ago all the
books that I wanted to write,all the things that I had in my
mind to detail, all the thingsthat I had in my mind to detail.
(12:51):
When I'm creating any kind ofevent, there is a plan to follow
, and so I can pull those thingstogether without having to go
and recreate the wheel, becauseI created it the first time.
These are things you need toknow, not just because I'm old
and an elder.
(13:12):
These are things I was doing inmy 20s and 30s because that was
how I remembered to get myprojects written in college.
That was how I remembered toget work product done when I was
working.
There was a list, there was aspreadsheet, there was a way
also to cover my ass in casesomething didn't go right.
(13:36):
I could say, well, this is whatthe plan was, and so and so
dropped the ball on the planhere, and this is where I wrote
it down.
And this is something that isimportant for you to do,
regardless of what age you aretoday.
Important for you to doregardless of what age you are
(13:57):
today.
And so I want you to know howto plan, because I'm not going
to be quiet about that anymore.
You've been listening to Quietno More, where I share my
journey.
So you can be quiet.
Let's connect atwwwcarmencawthoncom.
Unseen, unheard.
We've lived like that far toolong.
I'm Carmen Coffin and this isQuiet, no More, hi.
Today I want to talk aboutplanning.
(00:22):
Today I want to talk aboutplanning.
I just finished planning anevent that I didn't know I'd
never done anything like thatbefore.
It was an event that, in mymind, I can envision four or
five hundred people attending,but I've never planned anything
(00:43):
that's that size where I haven'tbeen doing it for somebody else
, so somebody else had theresponsibility of paying for it,
raising the money, although Ihave done something where, at
the last minute, I had to do thefundraising because the
organization didn't realize thatthey were going to have.
They needed to be doing thatall the time anyway.
(01:05):
So, anyway, it takes a lot toplan an event and you're going
to run into bumps, and it's nodifferent than anything else in
life Whenever you're planningsomething, because you might be
just planning a holiday meal,you might be planning a family
(01:29):
member's birthday party butplanning means you have to be in
charge of the vision.
You know what you want it tolook like.
You know what you want it tofeel like.
You know what you want it tofeel like.
You know what you want it totaste like.
And so once you make your mindup what you want, then you just
have to go after it and do it.
(01:50):
So the group of folks that Iwas working with you know they
were worried because we didn'thave any money to get started
with and I was a littleconcerned.
But you know, I just figured Icould do it, we could do it, it
could be done.
Anything can be done if you setyour mind to it.
(02:10):
That's something that I haveheard all my life from both my
parents.
You know, if you want to do it,just make it happen, do it.
And sometimes that means youhave to revise what your plan
looks like if you don't have allthe funds or if you don't have
all the pieces.
But that's OK.
It doesn't mean that you failif you don't have the place or
(02:33):
if you're not at the place thatyou wanted to be.
So when I first talked to thepeople that I asked to help me
as a steering committee, theydidn't see the 300 people
because they didn't see anymoney and it's hard to see
something when there's no money.
So we agreed that I would cutit back to 150 people and then I
(03:01):
would raise some money beforewe sold the ticket.
That was disappointing to me,because I felt like I needed the
ticket sales to validate what Iwas doing.
But I'm excited about what I'mdoing, and so, as I was talking
to people and sharinginformation, I shared my
(03:24):
excitement, and it helped otherpeople to be excited as well.
It helped other people to beable to see at least a piece of
the vision, even if they didn'tsee all of it, and that's
another thing.
It's not their vision, it'syour vision.
So you can't depend on somebodyelse to make your vision come
(03:45):
to life.
You just have to go for it witheverything you've got, and if
you're walking in that direction, it's going to work.
Just believe it's going to work.
And so, as I said, my originalvision was four to 600 people.
(04:05):
I thought we needed theconvention center.
I wanted a former president tocome and speak, knowing full
well that that would be three or$400,000.
And I didn't know how I wasgoing to raise 10 at that point.
And so I was willing to revisemy vision, but not to give it up
(04:26):
.
That's important.
You can't give up on yourdreams and your visions.
You can't give up.
This vision has been in my headfor two years.
I didn't start speaking ituntil a year ago and literally a
year ago, and I told one personfirst and then I started to
(04:51):
tell others, and originally itwas a vision to honor one person
, and the honor is now up to 400people and the event sold out
in six weeks.
The last week, the sales endedup causing the event to double
(05:12):
in size from what it wasoriginally planned to be.
Fortunately, we had found avenue that could hold double in
size, because my vision did notallow me to stop at the small
number.
So do you hear what I'm saying?
(05:32):
What I'm saying is your vision,your plan.
Make it work, do what you needto do, even if nobody else is
going along with you.
Now, if you're talking aboutdoing something wrong like I'm
not robbing a bank, so ifsomebody else's vision doesn't
(05:53):
go along with that, that's fine.
But my vision was to honor mymother and to honor black women,
and that vision has caught fire, even when people said why are
you doing this?
You can't do this, you don'thave time to do this, but that's
(06:14):
my heart passion, and so myheart passion is being fulfilled
and I really only needed to dothis one time, but now people
want to do it over, they want toreplicate it, they want to do
it in other places.
There was a hunger for this.
It was a hunger on the inside,not just for me, but for other
(06:35):
people.
So when you create a plan, I'm alist builder.
I am a spreadsheet person.
Now, I don't know how to reallyuse a spreadsheet, but I know
how to use it for what I want touse it for.
I haven't had any training init, but I know how to write a
list on a piece of paper andmark off what I've done as I've
(06:56):
gone along, and the list canstart out as just an outline and
then take the outline and addpieces to it.
So if I know I want to have adinner, I know I need a place to
have it, and that could be mydining room or my living room.
I need chairs, I need food.
(07:19):
I need, you know, if I want itto be nice.
I need special plates, whetherthat's my china or my chinette,
whether they're decorated for aholiday or whether they're some
plain colored ones that I boughtwhen they were on clearance.
Because you know I'm going tobuy something on sale, I'm not
(07:42):
spending the full amount onanything.
So if I know I'm serving food,I write out a menu and then I
take the menu and if there arerecipes that I'm making, I take
the recipes and I break therecipes down and then I create a
list of how much of each thingin all the recipes I need and I
(08:05):
buy it all at the same time,preferably when it's on sale.
Sometimes the menu will changebecause I'll go to the grocery
store and something will be onclearance and it's enough to
serve however many people I'mplanning for.
So I'll buy that and cook that.
So every detail comes down toplanning.
(08:27):
So I've taught my children thatI had a child who was going to
buy a car.
She wrote down everything sheneeded to know, everything she
needed to have, every detail andevery step for how she needed
to go get it, where to research,to look for the car, the kinds
of questions she needed to askwhen she went to the dealership,
(08:49):
what she needed to do ahead oftime.
There were some things that Ihad learned and she would come
and talk to me and I would sharethose with her, like if you
don't want to go haggle, thenthere are some terms that you
need to say to let them know youmean business and you just want
a final price.
You don't want to be running,you don't want your salesperson
(09:10):
to run back and forth betweenhimself and the sales manager,
you just want to know what's thefinal price going to be,
because they don't need to knowhow much money you've got.
They don't need to know all ofthat.
But anyhow, she created listand so that's also how we
(09:30):
remember stuff in life anyway,and so that's also how we
remember stuff in life anyway.
I'm not at a stage in life whereI can remember everything I
talk to you about.
So if it's stuff that needs tobe important, I have a notebook
in my pocketbook all the time.
It doesn't have to be a bignotebook, but it has to be
(09:50):
something that I can writesomething down on.
Or if you are using everythingdigital, there's a place to put
notes in your phone and then youdon't forget the stuff that you
need to remember.
If there's a date I was talkinglistening to a friend of mine
earlier today and she wastalking about adults need
reminders.
Yes, we do.
If we are busy people, if weare not busy people, we need to
(10:13):
have it written down that suchand such is this day.
That way we don't double book.
That way we don't overcommitourselves.
Well, we might overcommitourselves, but at least we're
not double booked while we'reovercommittee.
But I can put something in myphone and tell it to remind me
30 minutes ahead of time, or ifit's a birthday, it's in my
(10:36):
phone and it reminds me two orthree days ahead of time Longer
than that if I need to buy agift for something.
But those are important things.
Planning is important and it'skey for you to get to the place
that you want to get to.
If you just assume that youwill get there, you will drift
(10:59):
along and you will not everaccomplish any of the things
that you set out to do.
Why am I telling you this?
Because everybody doesn't havesomebody to tell them that.
I grew up with a mother who hada notepad all the time and even
six months before she died shehad been in the hospital.
(11:23):
We came home and within aweek's time she had scheduled an
appointment at the funeral homeand she said we're going and
pick out everything.
And I was like why?
And she had started writing herobituary and writing down the
plans that she wanted, and mydad was like I'm not doing that,
(11:45):
carmen can do that, and he leftit all to me to do.
Yes, he did, but my mother saidafter about another month.
She said whenever I die,there's an envelope under this
little table and it haseverything you need in it.
It's got the obituary, it's gotthe plan for the funeral
service, it's got the picturesfor the program.
(12:07):
Everything was in there, exceptfor the one thing that I asked
her for, which was what Bibleverses do you want read?
That part was the only thing Iasked for.
That was the part she didn'tgive me, but that's who I
learned from, so I'm trying toteach you today.
Hear me and hear me well, plan,write it down, keep a list.
(12:30):
If you can't keep all the listson a piece of paper and you've
got a computer or a phone with anotes app, write it there,
because I realized that I havewritten down years ago all the
books that I wanted to write,all the things that I had in my
mind to detail, all the thingsthat I had in my mind to detail.
(12:51):
When I'm creating any kind ofevent, there is a plan to follow
, and so I can pull those thingstogether without having to go
and recreate the wheel, becauseI created it the first time.
These are things you need toknow, not just because I'm old
and an elder.
(13:12):
These are things I was doing inmy 20s and 30s because that was
how I remembered to get myprojects written in college.
That was how I remembered toget work product done when I was
working.
There was a list, there was aspreadsheet, there was a way
also to cover my ass in casesomething didn't go right.
(13:36):
I could say, well, this is whatthe plan was, and so and so
dropped the ball on the planhere, and this is where I wrote
it down.
And this is something that isimportant for you to do,
regardless of what age you aretoday.
Important for you to doregardless of what age you are
(13:57):
today.
And so I want you to know howto plan, because I'm not going
to be quiet about that anymore.
You've been listening to Quietno More, where I share my
journey.
So you can be quiet.
Let's connect atwwwcarmencawthoncom.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com