Before They're Gone: Conversations That Preserve Family History

How many of us have said, “I wish I had asked them about that”? It’s a quiet kind of heartbreak—realizing that the stories, wisdom, and memories we never thought to ask for are now out of reach. In the final days of her father’s life, Melody watched her niece thoughtfully document his memories. That simple but powerful act became the inspiration for this episode.

Every family holds a treasure trove of untold stories—childhood adventures, long-held dreams, quiet regrets, and cherished traditions. In this episode, Melody offers a list of meaningful questions that go beyond small talk to uncover the heart of what makes a family truly special.

Some questions may spark laughter. Others may bring tears. But each one creates space for deeper connection—revealing legacy, healing old wounds, and strengthening bonds across generations.

Melody’s hope is simple: Don’t wait. Ask the questions. Listen with intention. Preserve the stories that one day will mean everything.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 0 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Melody and you're listening to Quirks,
bumps and Bruises.
On this episode of Quirks,bumps and Bruises, we're talking
about questions that we shouldask our parents, our
grandparents, before they're nolonger with us.
And for the past few months, Ihave a niece that was around our

(00:22):
family a lot, and especially inthe days and weeks leading up
to the passing of my dad, andshe had bought a book that had
all kinds of questions that shewas asking my dad from his life,
and I think sometimes that weforget to do that, to forget to
ask our parents or ourgrandparents certain questions

(00:44):
that you want to carry down forgenerations to come, to your
kids, to your grandkids andtheir kids.
It seems like we'll always findourselves wishing that we had
asked our parent that one thingbefore it became too late.
Today I'd like to share a fewquestions that, if your parents
are still living or yourgrandparents are still living,
that you may want to ask them.

(01:05):
The first one is what was yourchildhood like?
Things like mischief that theygot into with their siblings,
some punishments that they hadto take because of bad choices,
or the time that grandma burnedthe kitchen down, that kind of
thing.
Just some memories, some ideas,some things from their

(01:25):
childhood.
Another one is how did mom anddad, or grandmother and
grandfather, how did you meeteach other?
That's just a classic questionhow did you meet?
Another what were your biggestdreams?
What were your biggest hopes?
What were those things that youjust always wanted?
Maybe they wanted to be anastronaut, or open up a bakery,

(01:47):
or it could be as simple as theywanted to be a professional
surfer.
I don't know what that would be, but what were their hopes and
dreams?
Another what's the real storybehind some of the family
traditions?
You know, the same meal at acertain time, the same kind of
jokes, the same kind of weirdhat someone just insists on
wearing every single day or fora particular holiday.

(02:09):
Learn the origin behind thestories and it can make eye
rolls from the past, when youkind of rolled your eyes when
something happened every year,into a fondness, I guess you
would say, into something thatfeels sacred and special to you
and your family.
Another thing is what's onething you wish you'd done
differently?
You know that regret, thatthing that you just wish you had

(02:32):
done a different kind of way,and you might be surprised by
the honesty or about how muchthey thought about different
things.
So that's another good one.
How about this?
What's the funniest thing thatever happened to you?
Every family has at least onelaugh until you cry story, but
you might not know that one thatkind of tops your mom or dad's

(02:53):
list.
Whatever that is, talk about it, laugh about it and pass it
down.
Here's another one.
What life lesson do you hopethat I will remember most?
You know, like if you can't saysomething nice, don't say
anything at all.
Those kinds of things.
Every parent has a signaturelife lesson that they repeated
to you, and so talk about thosethings.

(03:15):
Another question what are youmost proud of?
Sometimes, behind everyperfectly said I'm proud of you
is a story of their own pridewaiting to be told.
So it could be running thatfirst marathon, raising a child
that ended up doing somethingphenomenal.
But just give them space tobrag a little bit and it could
be more revealing than you think.

(03:36):
How about this question what'sthe hardest thing you've ever
been through?
Resilience towards somethingdoesn't grow in the sunshine, it
grows in the storms.
So asking your parents abouttheir toughest times may kind of
be heavy, a heavy topic, butit's where the real heartbeats
of their story live.
Sometimes it's a loss that theynever spoke about or a
challenge that changed themquietly, just piece by piece.

(03:58):
So open that door to allowingthem to tell you one of the
hardest things they've ever beenthrough.
How about this?
What's a family secret?
You've never told me.
Every family has at least oneskeleton that rattles in that
closet y'all, and it's probablyless scandal and more maybe
slightly embarrassing.
But secrets can spice up thefamily stew, so to speak.

(04:20):
So asking about it kind ofshakes up the family tree and
you're going to see what fallsout, and sometimes it can be
surprising, sometimes it couldbe eye rolling, I don't know,
but sometimes you're going toget an amazing story from that.
Another question how do you wantto be remembered?
Legacy is a big word for asimple question.
What do you want people to sayabout you when you're not here

(04:42):
anymore?
That's a big one.
Here's another what's somethingyou've never understood about
me?
Every parent has that one thingabout you that makes them just
seem a little confused.
Maybe you have an obsessionwith avocado toast, or you just
refuse to do certain things.
Asking them what they justdon't understand or what they
don't get is just kind of aplayful, fun way to bridge the

(05:04):
generational gap withoutstarting a debate over like
technology or something.
So that's a fun question.
Another what's your favoritememory of us together?
Ask that question and yourparents' face will go soft.
It's something that kind ofwill transport you both back to
that camping trip you took, thetime you were dancing together
in the kitchen, or the time youaccidentally dyed the dog a

(05:26):
different color.
Those memories are the gluethat holds all the other stories
together.
This one could be big.
What's something you wish youhad told your parents?
So, no matter how grown up weget, there's always something
unsaid between parents and theirparents.
Maybe it's an apology, maybeit's a thank you or a confession
when you so-called borrowed thecar.

(05:48):
So when you ask your parentwhat they wish they'd told their
own folks, you're inviting thatrare time together to talk
through some things.
And that will always be hard,but yet a moment that you will
never forget.
And then this question what's apiece of advice you got that
changed everything?
So just that nugget of wisdomthat changed the trajectory of

(06:10):
your life.
What would that be?
And then, is there anythingthat you're still dreaming of?
That's always a good questionto ask Is there anything that
you'd still love to do?
And then, what do you wish forme in the future?
Ask that question.
There's nothing like asking aparent about your future to get
the misty eyes going.
But beyond the obvious ofhappiness and health, their

(06:32):
wishes may surprise you.
Sometimes it's as simple ashoping you'll always have good
friends in your life.
Obviously that the Lord wouldbe the center and the focus of
everything you do.
But that question is yourchance to hear the heart behind
all those reminders that you hadin the past about sunscreen and
how to manage your money.
And their wishes for you comefrom a place of hope and love

(06:52):
and a desire to see you thrive,even if the delivery sometimes
comes wrapped in advice that youkind of really didn't want.
But let them dream out loud foryou, because hearing their
hopes can be comforting,empowering or even a little bit
freeing.
And after all, knowingsomeone's rooting for you
unconditionally is one of life'sbest gifts.
So take it in, write it down,because everyone needs a little

(07:20):
reminder of how fiercely they'reloved every now and again,
right?
So those are just somequestions today to ask your
parents, to ask yourgrandparents or loved ones in
your life and it opens up just aworld of wonderful conversation
between you and the ones youlove most.