Corny Jokes Will Brighten Even Your Darkest Days

Need a laugh? This episode is packed with a collection of hilarious jokes straight from The Morning JoyRide! It’s feel-good fun designed to lift your spirits and put a big smile on your face—because sometimes joy comes one punchline at a time.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Melody and I'm Candy and you're listening
to Quirks, bumps and Bruises.
On this episode of Quirks,bumps and Bruises, we are going
to have a little fun together.
You know, proverbs 17.22 saysthis A joyful heart is good
medicine.
And it goes on to say but acrushed spirit dries up the

(00:22):
bones.
So we're going to try to helpwith any broken or crushed
spirits today.
Laughter is like taking a goodmedicine and every day we
sometimes need to take thatmedicine.
So on this episode of Quirks,mumps and Bruises, we're going
to go back and have a little funwith some past corny jokes.
Just regular jokes, just somethings to make you laugh.

(00:43):
We'll start with this one.
You know, this morning I waslooking in the mirror and you
see gray hair, you see thewrinkles, you see the dimming
eyes and I thought to myselfthey sure don't make mirrors
like they used to.
Well, it's melody and it'sbrendan.
I pulled him in here because hey'all can be as corny as me and

(01:07):
let me tell you something thattakes a lot as bad as corny as
the cob see what I mean, sodon't let me down all right now,
okay you ready for this?

Speaker 3 (01:16):
I'm ready.
Maybe.
How much does a chimney cost?

Speaker 1 (01:21):
how much does a chimney cost?
I don't know brendan how muchnothing, it's on the house oh
that's worse than me, because Iknow our sweet joy.
Fm family think I'm very cornywith my jokes, but betty you got
me big do you all know what youcall friends that you like to

(01:47):
eat with or go out to dinnerwith or have over to eat?
Do you know what you call thosepeople?
Taste buds?
Laughter is good for the soul,right?
So let's have a little chuckletogether today.
There was a little boy waitingfor his mother to come out of
the grocery store and as hewaited he was approached by a

(02:09):
man who said Son, can you tellme where the post office is?
And the little boy replied Sure, just go straight down the
street a couple of blocks andthen turn to your right.
So the man kindly thanked thelittle boy and said hey, I'm the
new pastor in town and I'd lovefor you to come to church on
Sunday.
I'll show you how to get toheaven.
And the little boy replied witha laugh and said seriously, you

(02:31):
don't even know how to get tothe post office.
Hey y'all, it's Melody Brendanhere this morning and he runs in
here and he says to me I got todo you a dad joke.
And I'm like well, I'm not adad, but I guess it doesn't
matter, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
All right, hit it, here we go.
I went to buy a pair ofcamouflage pants, but I couldn't
find any.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Are you always that corny?

Speaker 3 (02:55):
About as much as on a cob.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
All right, I'm going to make you day today.
What did the janitor say whenhe jumped out of the closet
Supplies?
Now y'all got to admit that'sfunny, Brendan.
Hey, what happens when amicroscope crashes into a
telescope?

Speaker 3 (03:18):
What happens when a microscope crashes into a
telescope?

Speaker 1 (03:22):
Any ideas.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
I don't.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
They kaleidoscope.
You gotta love it, melody, herealong with you on the Morning
Joyride, and I know passwordscan just be so aggravating at
times because you have to have anew one for everything and then
sometimes they don't work, andyou know what I'm talking about,
right?
But I have learned thisApparently, you can't use beef

(03:48):
stew as a password, because it'sjust not stroganoff.
I'll give you all a minute tothink about that.
So a few moments ago, we weretalking about passwords for
whatever you need a password for, and my dad recently told me
that his password is MickeyMinnie Goofy, donald Pluto, huey

(04:08):
, louie Dewey, dublin.
And I said why in the world areyou doing all that?
He said because they told me mypassword had to contain eight
characters and at least onecapital Mickey Minnie Goofy,
donald Pluto, huey Louie Dewey,dublin.
Okay, I'll stop.
So here's the thing.

(04:28):
I finally reached the age wheremy train of thought often
leaves the station without me.
Maybe this is one of those dayswhere you need just a little
extra something to smile about.

(04:49):
Well, this is for you, becausethere's nothing quite like a
laughing baby.

Speaker 3 (04:55):
Ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha , ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Thanks for listening to the Quirks Bumps Bruises
podcast with Candy and Melody.
If you enjoyed the show, pleasetake a moment to subscribe,
rate and share the podcast.
You can learn more at joyfmorg.