All Episodes

September 15, 2025 12 mins

The sacred calling to ministry comes with a paradox few outside the role understand: those who lead others in worship rarely get to experience it themselves. This powerful conversation between Melody and Parker Webb peels back the curtain on the hidden struggles of pastoral life, revealing the emotional toll of always being "on stage" instead of in the pews with family.

Parker shares a heart-wrenching moment when his five-year-old son asked if Daddy would actually sit with the family during a church service—a simple request that brought tears when finally fulfilled. The hosts explore how ministry families must intentionally create moments of togetherness amidst demanding schedules that leave little room for normalcy. "Home is when the entire family's together doing life together," becomes not just a nice sentiment but a survival strategy.

Beyond family dynamics, the conversation addresses the dangerous territory of ministerial burnout. When exhaustion sets in, vulnerability to temptation follows—"a wide open double door for Satan," as Melody describes it. The discussion offers practical wisdom for church leadership teams: include budget for pastoral spouses to attend conferences, provide extra rest days after intensive work periods, and seriously consider sabbaticals. With the exodus of pastors from ministry at historic highs, these aren't luxury items but necessities for sustainable ministry. Whether you serve in ministry yourself or simply attend a church with pastoral leadership, this conversation provides crucial perspective on supporting those who care for our spiritual well-being while fighting to maintain their own.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We're glad you're here with us on this next
episode of Quirks, bumps andBruises Melody along with you
and, of course, my good friendParker Webb this morning.
Hey, parker.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hey, melody, good to be back with you.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Well, I'm glad that you are here, because these are
things that I can talk aboutwith you, that other people may
not understand and I don't get achance to kind of you know,
talk where I feel like somebodycan really get it.
Sure where I feel like somebodycan really get it.
So I want to talk to those inministerial positions, those who
are pastors, associate pastors,youth ministers, worship

(00:32):
leaders, any of that and I knowthat's a select group of people,
not everybody's in that group,but I think it's important that
we talk about it.
I was on staff for 36 yearsleading worship.
Let me tell you, if you don'tthink I didn't see music change,
and especially during your time.
I think music changed more itdid several decades it did in

(00:54):
church history because when Istarted we were doing I want to
see if you recognize this name.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
Yeah, john w peterson yes, now I do because I grew up
in a traditional church, butyes, I mean from that to just
moving to where music has gonetoday.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Anyway, one thing that I really feel like I missed
out on, because I have twochildren, is being able to sit
with them in a service andworship Right, because you are
always leading others to worshipand worship Right, because you
are always leading others toworship.
Pastors are always leadingothers, you know, to come to
know the Lord and to trust himfully, and you know those things

(01:31):
.
So those people that are inthose positions rarely get that
chance.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
That's right, melody and I realize this, my Melody,
which I still have to preface.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
It's confusing my Melody.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
Parker's married to a Melody, that's right.
So this past easter we wereinvited by a local pastor,
andrew hopper wonderful,wonderful church here in the
triad of north carolina to comeand just participate in, just to
worship on their thursday nighteaster service or at their
thursday night easter service.
And, um, I said absolutely, wewould love that.
When I realized that we neededto worship as a family, even at

(02:07):
another church.
More was when we were walkingin and our five-year-old Caleb
looked up at me and he saidDaddy, are you going to sit with
us or when are you singingtonight?
And I thought, oh my word,every time our boys are in a
worship setting, I'm either onthe platform or I'm backstage
waiting to go on or whatever,and we need to be worshiping

(02:29):
together as a unit.
And it was so nostalgic that Istarted to cry when we left,
because we sat as a family, weworshiped together as a family
and I did not have to thinkabout one thing, I didn't have
to think about the flow of theservice, I didn't have to think
about the music, I didn't haveto think.
The sound, the lighting,everything, all that stuff goes
through my mind anytime I'm out.

(02:50):
And so we went out to eatafterwards.
It's like we were normal people.
And here's the thing, eventhough most of our listeners
this morning are not in thatpastoral position either lead
pastor, worship pastor,associate pastor, whatever all
of us know people in thatsegment.
So I believe it's more crucial,now that I am a pastor, to

(03:14):
consider our staff having aSabbath, a time of rest, a time
where they can spend time withtheir families.
You know, I have people all thetime say to me and I love what
I do, I don't know what I woulddo if God had not called me to
music On the road, the 50 plusdates we do a year on the road
or being at the church 52Sundays a year.
But I have people say you needto slow down a little bit, you

(03:35):
need to cut that out, and myresponse has always been I can't
, I cannot turn it off.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
Parker, it's because it's a calling.
That's right, and that's adifference between going to a
job and going to your calling.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
That's right, you're exactly right and I love it.
You know it was a long, longweekend with our choir and work
retreat.
We brought in speakers from allover the country to speak into
our choir and orchestra andSunday afternoon I got home, got
in the bed, take a nap I meannot just lay- on the couch.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
I was shot.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
I laid there until 6 pm and just rested.
Monday morning I was in theoffice an hour earlier than I
normally get into the office, sobecause I was so excited about
what was to come and what theLord had in store.
But all that being said, we'rehaving to work out times as a
family.
In the evenings, we go ridebikes together or we just simply

(04:29):
put in a movie.
You know, a movie that all ofus would enjoy.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
It doesn't really matter.
As long as you're with them,that's right, and for kids it
really doesn't matter Because wewere.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
We were scolded because we had Bryce sitting
right here beside me thismorning, had Bryce and even
Caleb, where they would be outtill 11 o'clock midnight at
events all over the country, orwe would be getting to the
airport at 5 am for an earlyflight and routines were off.
Meals were off.
All that stuff was off androutines were off.
Meals were off, All that stuffwas off.
Precious, precious woman ingospel music told my mother,

(05:04):
which has resonated down to meand my wife home is when the
entire family's together andyou're doing life together.
Yeah, and so, like this morning, Melody, I just brought Bryce
in.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
Oh, I loved it.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
You didn't even ask me to bring him in, but I I
loved it Because I want him tosee all that goes on in life and
I want us to do life together.
I think that it's what helpedme prepare me for church work,
prepare me for ministry andchurch hurt, all that stuff,
because I was literally hand inhand with mom and dad through
all that stuff.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
And I'll tell you this, parker, I fully believe
too, that when ministerial staffof any kind, when you get to
the place of exhaustion and youget to the place where you are
not worshiping yourself, that'sright.
That's when sin creeps in.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
It is a wide open double door for Satan to utilize
.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
It is because you're not on guard.
That's right.
You're too tired to even thinkabout it.
And that's when the enemy knowsto attack.
That's right.
And that's when the enemy knowsto attack and to seek you out
and to try to devour and destroyyou.
And many times I think that'swhat we've seen when leaders
fall, that's right.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
Well, and I would make a challenge, melody, if I
could Sure, to lay leaders,deacons, chairs of committees,
when your pastor goes on a trip,whether it be to the
denominational conventions orwhatever, always put in your
budget If the spouse is notworking.
Or they can go put in yourbudget to send not just your
pastor but the spouse, not justthe director but their spouse,

(06:34):
because that right there is atime, some of the most
refreshing times we're aSouthern Baptist church at Green
Street and the most refreshingSouthern Baptist conventions
where I've not been so exhaustedI almost wanted to quit.
To be honest with you, to thatpoint of exhaustion was when my
wife went with me.
I was excited for ministry whenshe was with me, so it was
almost like a mini vacation.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
Well, I think when you're away from your family,
you're worried about your familyand there's some guilt.
Yeah, 100%, there's some guiltthere that you're away and she's
at home with the kids.
That's right, and so she's withyou, because if the kids are
with Grandma and Grandpa they'rehappy.
Yeah, totally, they're.
Like me making your little boya s'more at 8 o'clock in the

(07:15):
morning for breakfast, that'sright, which is wonderful.
Aunt Melody can make whatevershe wants for my boys.
So grandparents love it and thekids love it.
But it gives you and your wife.
I will say this If you can't dothat, if the spouse is working
and cannot go, I would suggestputting in the budget that when
that pastor returns he gets anextra day off.

(07:37):
Amen, amen.
That's work.
You're going to these events,but it's not just fun time
You're not laying on the beach.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
That's right.
That's right, you know you'reworking.
Yeah, that's right.
I would highly recommend givethem what in the secular world
they call it comp time.
That comp time is crucial forthe health of their family.
Because let me tell yousomething you want a church to
die quick.
Hurt your pastor, hurt hisrelationship with his family,

(08:05):
wear him out beyond exhaustionand you will kill your church in
a matter of years, if notmonths.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
I think I'm going to step up on some toes here.
It won't be the first time.
But I am shocked at the numberof churches and I you know I
talk with andy bowersox ofenergized ministry and wonderful
ministry that gives retreats topastors that just need some
rest, absolutely but I amshocked at the number of
churches that will not evenentertain the idea of a

(08:33):
sabbatical.
Yeah, and it's imperative thatwe give pastors some time away.
Here's what I hear a lot.
Well, I work too and I wishthat my job would give me a
sabbatical.
But here's the differenceYou're not on call 24 seven,
that's right, that's right.
And you are not a secret keeperthat's right.
Pastors are secret keepers.

(08:54):
They have a lot of stuff intheir head, stuff, heavy stuff
in their head that they can'tshare, many times not even with
their spouse, right, if it'sbeen asked to.
Not just the day-to-day ins andouts of being a pastor is
grueling, it is, it's rewardingand that's why they continue to
do it, because that passion fortheir people to to be challenged

(09:16):
and their walk with Christ orto come to know Christ far
outweighs the negative andthat's why they continue.
But at the same time, it is amassive exodus of pastors now
leaving the church.

Speaker 2 (09:28):
It's higher than ever .
Higher than ever, andespecially from our smaller
churches, because the demand isso high they don't have staff.
Thankfully, I've got a staff asa worship pastor we're talking
about this morning.
I've got people that can helpme carry that load so that I can
pastor and be creative.
I can make our worship sets,send them to my music director
and he can put them togetherunbelievably, mr J Meacham.

(09:50):
But let me tell you, if youagain I want to double down If
you want to not just ruin yourpastor's life but ruin the life
of your church, keep pushing him, keep pushing him and keep
nagging about.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
Well, he doesn't, he doesn't do this and I don't know
why he doesn't do this, and hedidn't visit my grandma's,
brother's, sister's aunt, that'sright, that's right.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
We talked about his staff yesterday in our staff
meeting that we're trying tofigure out.
We've got a little notes thing.
Technology is wonderful, we'vegot a little.
Our directory is online andwhen any of us go to visit or do
whatever, we can jot littlenotes and even make alerts and
all that kind of stuff.
But, melody, I feel morestrongly about this than ever
and the comparison of somebodywho works a secular job as

(10:35):
opposed to a pastor most of thetime, obviously this is not
universal, it's for sure notuniversal for business owners,
small business owners.
At five you can cut it off.
For the most part you can cutit off, but to your point,
pastors, it's 24-7.
In fact, I told a man yesterdayhere locally.
I said, brother, if it's 1 am,I never turn my phone off.

(10:56):
My phone has never been off.
Call me if you need anything.
He's an elderly gentleman andaging and I love him dearly.
And so I sat there.
Even as I was doing it, theflesh side of me was saying what
are you doing?
Telling him he can call anytimeand I know he won't, he's not
that type of man.
But the pastoral side of me, I'min it with all my heart,
brother.
I'm in it with all my heart,brother.
I'm here for you.

(11:16):
Yeah, anything you need.
So I know it's not PastorEncouragement Month or whatever.
I don't even know when that is.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
It's October October.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
Yeah, but please give your pastor some rest and pray
for him.
Pray for him daily.
Yeah, pray for him.
If you love your pastor, youwill pray for him.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
If you want, your church will succeed Absolutely
and you will succeed AbsolutelyIn your spiritual walk if your
pastor is in the right placementally, physically and
emotionally and spiritually.
And just as a reminder topastors and to ministerial staff
of any kind no matter how goodyou are at what you do, if you

(11:55):
neglect your family, you havefailed.
It's in vain, yeah, it's all invain.
Yeah, it's all in vain, becausethat's not how God intended
that to be.
Well, thank you for joining uson this episode of Quirks, bumps
and Bruises.

Speaker 2 (12:07):
And what I love about this podcast.
We can talk about stuff likethis I know In depth and get
awareness out.
Yeah, very in depth.
So thank you, melody I.
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know
Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist

CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist

It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.