October 1, 2025 • 25 mins
What happens when a snarky cat tangles with a kitten from a polygamist cult in Utah? Tune in each week to hear a chapter of Quirky Cat Goes Splat by Adele Park on Pet Life Radio. Meow Kitties!
EPISODE NOTES: Quirky Cat Goes Splat! Chapter 16
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EPISODE NOTES: Quirky Cat Goes Splat! Chapter 16
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey Life.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
This is Pet Life Radio. Let's talk pets, cat lovers
and feline friends. It's time for Adele Park's Quirky Cat Nips.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Today on Quirky Catnips, we're airing a chapter of Quirky
Cat Goes Splat by Adele Park. This frightfully funny tale
is narrated by the ever so snarky Skitter's the Cat.
Find out what happens when Skitters goes Cattie wump us
for a kitten named Harriet. Tune in each week to
hear a new chapter of Quirky Cat Goes Splat. Only
(00:38):
on Pet Life Radio. Meow Kiddies.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Audio recording, Saint George presents Quirky Cat Goes Splat, Written,
produced and edited by Adele Park, narrated by a full cast.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Splat Meow Bitches Twisted Tails by Skidders the Cat. Part sixteen.
All of us are damaged goods. Life has a way
of dinging and danging us, no matter how sterling our
karma may be. It's not hard to figure out how
(01:23):
a fetching me hour like Harriet could wind up with
such a detached attitude. Just look at the religious looney
tune she was conspiring with before the profit of Zion
Flats torched her home at Juniper Hollow, with Harriet and
her sister trapped inside. Harriet's mother was a full blown
belladonna addict. Her handler was fond of putting belladonna extract
(01:46):
in her milk as part of some jujuw type of sorcery.
As a result, she had trouble carrying kiddies. When Juniper
Hollow was burned, like a sacrificial stack of bad luck,
Harriet was just a tiny tot in a liter two.
Harriet and her sister were in the process of being
weaned and still quite vulnerable. Somehow, their mother managed to
(02:08):
drag them to safety, only to return to the smoking house,
where she burnt like a piece of untended kitty bacon.
After the fire, Harriet's sisters sought shelter in a house
on Granite Ridge owned by a crotchety curmudgeon named Boyd Fletcher.
He dubbed her Kitty Castaway, but later changed the name
to Miss Kitty once she had won over his crusty heart.
(02:32):
Harriet stubbornly remained at Juniper Hollow waiting for Evangeline, the
girl who had befriended her from birth two. Evangeline's credit,
she did try to care for Harriet as best she could.
The mother of my twins would often tuck granola bars
and dried fruit into the pocket of Evangeline's unsightly polygamous
(02:52):
rumper I was usually called upon to take a bite
of these items, presumably to make sure they wouldn't kill Harriet.
Thanks girlfriend, Juniper Hollow isn't far from Zion Flats unless
you're a five year old, and it's in the middle
of the night. Not winning any popularity contests at home,
Evangeline was allowed to wander off at will. This was
(03:15):
good news for Harriet, who received frequent midnight visits from
her human Ornda. Evangeline's angry custodian seemed especially hopeful of
the chances this poor child would collide with disaster. Nonetheless,
Orinda would soon discover things wouldn't go according to plans
(03:35):
bah Chapter sixteen, Ornda, the only thing I loathe more
than children are animals.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Now I've got both of these vile species riding in
my van. My only consolation is that I will never
again have to tend to someone else's children or pets.
I endured a tedious, nerve wracking drive from Gekoskulch to
the Social services building in Las Vegas. I felt unusually skittish,
(04:06):
constantly looking over my shoulder to see if we were
being followed. Someone alerted Nephi that Evangeline had been gone
all night. Stupid, selfish girl. Evangeline put both of us
in danger. It was all over that mangy orange cat
she calls Harriet. No matter how much I punished her,
(04:28):
Evangeline kept sneaking over to Juniper Hollow to feed that
repulsive creature. Because of Evangeline's filthy fiend, our lives were
now in jeopardy. I used the ride to Las Vegas
to explain the new order to Evangeline. First, she had
to stop sniveling. It was uncalled for, an unbecoming Besides,
(04:52):
she'd gotten her way with the cat. I smiled inwardly
at the thought that Evangeline's new caretaker would have to
deal with hair. The traffic in Las Vegas was terrifying.
Worried that I would get hit, I clutched the steering
wheel and moved my face about three inches from the windshield.
I'm not sure how this helped, but It gave me
(05:14):
an odd sense of comfort. Miraculously, we arrived at Social
Services in one piece. My niece Aila Rey and her
caretaker Meredith Andrews had made arrangements to take Evangeline off
my hands. I was relieved to know I wouldn't have
to cart around this impertinent child any longer. I've been
(05:36):
cursed with scene to Evangeline since the moment she slipped
into this world, obscure and deathly white. Her mother, Rebecca,
took little interest in her strange child, except when she
needed someone to cast incantations upon. The rest of the time,
Rebecca regarded Evangeline like the nuisance she is. In Zion flats,
(05:59):
men are the only ones considered to be of value.
Women are treated as chattel, put on earth to propagate
the species. Rebecca had her own way of settling this score,
tearying with the occult, trying to manifest bad luck, like
there wasn't already plenty of that to go around. My brother,
(06:19):
the Prophet Nephi, assigned me the duty of reporting on
any of Rebecca's activities that did not adhere to the
word of wisdom. She would not stay sweet as the
prophet commanded. I was also made to give briefings on
the activities of my second husband, Nicholas de Luca. This
task was more complicated. Nicholas had opened my eyes to
(06:43):
new possibilities, ones that were now propelling me to drive
a shadow child and her dirty cat into the city
of Sin. I had no intention of staying in Las
Vegas any longer than it took to drop off my
unwonted Ward. I was leaving the desert for good. There
never was anything here for me. None of my sister
(07:07):
wives ever liked me. No one liked me. The only
friend I've ever had is a con artist, and he's
in jail. Growing up, I was relentlessly taunted by the
other children in Zion Flats. They called me Fuzzy Wuzzy
and Grizly Adams. Heavenly Father must not have wanted me
(07:28):
to suffer this in a vanity because I was given
an unsightly amount of body hair. I've got a sturdy
build and my teeth aren't good. My lineage was my
only saving grace before my brother Nephi became prophet. That
position was held by our father. When I was thirteen,
(07:49):
I was given in marriage to Hiram Stratton, a doctor
and member of the Sacred Order in Zion Flats. Hiram
was an ambitious, well established member of the community. Everyone
is on Medicaid, so he had lots of patience with
guaranteed reimbursement. The church owns the clinic, though Hiram benefited
(08:10):
handsomely from his position. I was Hiram's fourth wife in
what was to become a plural marriage involving more than
two dozen women. Because of my age and family status,
I was allowed to live in Hiram's main house. I
was petrified the first night Hiram came to my bedroom.
(08:30):
I quickly discovered my fears were baseless. Hiram had no
intention of consecrating our marriage, calling me uglier than a
slot bucket of armpits. Angry that he'd been assigned such
an unattractive wife, Hiram made me sleep on the floor
during the nights he was scheduled to stay in my room.
(08:52):
I shivered on a homemade rug without a blanket or pillow.
I was still a teenager, growing into an oversight adult
at a rapid rate. My body ached from sleeping on
the floor. Eventually I caught pneumonia, rendering me feverish and exhausted.
When my illness worsened, Hiram publicly disgraced me by asking
(09:16):
for prayers for his barren wife during church services one Sunday.
Ashamed and humiliated, I fell out of favor with my husband.
In a polygamist community, that means the husband no longer
engages in marital relations. Since the purpose of such unions
is to produce children, there was no reason for Hiram
(09:39):
to acknowledge me at all. I didn't care that I
was never to be a mother. Even then. I found
children to be bothersome and bad smelling. I wanted to
be a nurse, a suggestion I timidly made to Hiram.
One of my sister wives was already a nurse and
another one was in school. Hiram responded by telling me
(10:02):
sick people didn't want to be touched by a hairy
dysentery like me. I was sent to work at the
community farm instead. I awoke before dawn seven days a
week to work in the dairy, a good twenty minute
hike in the dark. I was responsible for the morning
milking of one hundred and twenty cows. After that, I
(10:25):
mucked out stalls and cleaned the milking equipment. This went
on day after day, year after year. After a massive
heart attack brought on by not following his own advice,
my husband Hiram was returned to heavenly father. I was
a widow for twenty seven days before being reassigned to
(10:46):
Nicholas de Luca. I was given in marriage as a
way of keeping tabs on his activities. Nicholas had been
told of my supposed inability to have children, meaning he
wasn't expected to perform duties as a husband. Nonetheless, I
was elevated from manure shoveler at the dairy farm to
(11:07):
first wife of Juniper Hollow. Cunning and clever, Nicholas took
the tactic of befriending me. I was caught off guard
by this unexpected dynamic, falling hard for a man I
knew to be a criminal. Nicholas was always asking me
what I thought of this, or that it was the
first time anyone cared to hear my opinion about anything.
(11:31):
Our first three months of marriage were the happiest times
of my life. In those days, I truly enjoyed being married.
Preparing succulent meals to share with Nicholas. At the end
of the day. Nearly every evening that summer, we sat
in the open square of space on top of the house,
which Nicholas called a widow's walk. We'd eat our dessert there,
(11:55):
enjoying the stars and cool evening breeze. Contrary to the
doctrine and covenants of our church, Nicholas consumed alcohol, sometimes
to an extreme extent. As his wife, it was not
my place to comment on these activities to anyone but
the prophet Nephi.
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Speaker 1 (13:35):
We now return to more of quirkycat Go Splat by
Adell Park on pet Life Radio.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
Nicholas liked to talk when he drank, fondly recalling memories
of his boyhood summers in Oregon. I became fascinated with
these inebriated ramblings, longing to see the ocean other than
the trips I may to the liquor store in Mesquite, Nevada.
I'd never even been outside the state of Utah. Once.
When I was in Mesquite buying alcohol for Nicholas, I
(14:09):
stopped in the library. I asked to see some information
about Oregon and was surprised when a young girl led
me to a computer. She brought up some of the
most breath taking images. I made a promise to myself
to see this in person. I didn't care if I
had to die trying my happiness evaporated when Rebecca joined
(14:30):
our marriage. Bewitched by Rebecca's beauty, Nicholas was consumed with her,
engaging in wild nights that left me chagrined. My status
as first wife was never honored by Rebecca. She took little,
if any direction from me. Rebecca's only responsibility was to
maintain the garden, which she quickly turned into a gypsy jungle.
(14:54):
The entire yard was a tangle of color and disarray.
The widow's walk, once a quiet sanctuary, was crowded with
potted plants trained to crawl upwards in a way that
made the walls look like they were growing. Clusters of
purple belladonna plants sprang up all over the property. A
few days shy of her first wedding anniversary, Rebecca gave
(15:18):
birth to Evangeline. I don't take much stock in omens,
but that birth was a hard one, coming on a
night when the wind was howling so hard I thought
God himself was sending out a warning. Not long after that,
Rebecca started drinking alcohol with Nicholas, apparently fearing no repercussions
(15:38):
from the prophet. She was often too woozy to look
after her newborn. I was left to feed and change
evangeline chores. I did with bitter resentment. Asserting her influence
with Nicholas, Rebecca demanded that he sleep in her room
every night, since I wasn't propagating the species. Rebecca claimed
(15:59):
to be trying to produce a male air and thus
needed the attentions of her husband to accomplish this important task.
I missed my evening talks with Nicholas eventually, though he
came back around in search of an ally. Rebecca was
indulging in more than just wine. She was using belladonna
(16:19):
to escape the realities of her life. As a result,
she miscarried one child after another. Nicholas seemed more concerned
with Rebecca's radical behavior than he was by all the
lost babies. Rebecca often became violent, issuing baseless accusations. At times,
(16:40):
she'd stay out all night, often bringing Evangeline with her.
Evangeline would appear at dawn, dirty and smelling of smoke.
I don't know where Rebecca was setting those fires. They
were no doubt part of the drug crazed rituals she
had become fond of hosting. Disturbed by this, as well
(17:00):
as the uptick and vicious fights. Nicholas resumed spending time
with me When Rebecca was off on one of her
mad outings. I was often awakened by the sounds of
shrill screams and objects being thrown. I remained in my room,
understanding it was not my place to interfere in the
relations between a husband and one of his wives. In
(17:24):
any other polygamist marriage, Rebecca would have been reminded to
stay sweet. In a not so sweet manner, things were
nearing a boiling point. Nicholas had once owned a company
in Las Vegas that made headstones. A man he associated
with was killed on his property. The police accused Nicholas
(17:45):
of laundering money. He was offered a reduce sentence in
exchange for testimony about the murder. It was common knowledge
that the de Luca family was part of the mob.
Fearing his kinfolk more than the authorities, disappeared during the
five years Nicholas hid at Juniper Hollow. One of the
men involved with the murder was sent to prison. The
(18:08):
other one died under mysterious circumstances before he could be prosecuted.
Thinking it was safe to return to Las Vegas, and
frustrated with his ungovernable wife. Nicholas began to speak of leaving.
Tempted by the fantasy that I too could escape, I
listened withholding the information from Nephi. It was the first
(18:30):
time in my life that I knowingly went against my prophet.
It's unclear if Rebecca suspected Nicholas was planning to leave,
or if her behavior was just a natural progression of
her mental deterioration. She was agitated and hadn't slept in
the day's leading up to her death. Rebecca had been
(18:52):
bringing Evangeline home from moonlight excursions with her mouth stained purple.
Surely Nicholas must known Rebecca was feeding their daughter Belladonna,
given that he sometimes ingested it himself. But Nicholas had
his own problems. He was under constant pressure from the
prophet to finish his work for the new temple in
(19:15):
Zion Flats. Nephi called Nicholas into a meeting on a
day when Rebecca was particularly strung out, Claiming she was starving.
Rebecca prepared a lunch of blueberry hotcakes with warm syrup,
enticed by the inviting smells. I joined Rebecca at the table.
I should have known better. Halfway through lunch, my head
(19:37):
began to cloud and my stomach rebolted. Certain that I
had been poisoned with belladonna, I forced myself to evacuate
the contents of my stomach. It helped, but I was
left feeling weak and dizzy. I took to my bed,
hoping to sleep off the illness. In the evening, I
(19:57):
was awakened by the sound of furious screams coming from
the yard. Nicholas had returned from his meeting. I could
hear him accusing Rebecca of trying to drown Evangeline in
the christening font. Rebecca claimed she was just trying to
baptize her daughter, knowing full well that duty can only
be performed by the prophet. The fight moved inside, with
(20:21):
Rebecca screeching and throwing things. I had confided in Nephi
that Rebecca was spinning out of control. Most of the
fights happened at night, so Nephi instructed me to cut
the power to the house if things got out of hand.
I heard Nicholas holler in pain, a sign the violence
had escalated. Running outside, I grabbed a pair of wirecutters
(20:45):
and threw the house into darkness. Moments later, Nicholas burst
from the house, heading for Fletcher's sneak. Somehow I knew
he was leaving for good. Just as I was deciding
what to do next, Angeline appeared at my side, wet
and frightened. The sensible thing would have been to let
(21:05):
Rebecca do what she will with her own daughter. Instead,
I loaded this pesky child into the boat and rowed
her to the other side of the lake, instructing her
to climb to safety. Nicholas had oftentimes brought Evangeline to
Granite Ridge while he was working, so she knew about
the ladder in one of the catacombs. As I was
(21:27):
rowing back to the house, I heard, rather than saw,
Rebecca throw herself off the widow's walk. I shall never
forget the sound of those wounded yowls. I cleaned up
the scene as best as I could, dragging Rebecca's body
away from the house. Then I got in the van
and drove to Zion Flats to alert Nephi. To my consternation,
(21:51):
custody of Evangeline was given to me. We moved into
one of Nephi's homes, sharing a small room. Thankfully I
wasn't sent back to work at the dairy. Since I
now had a license and a van, I drove the
group of women employed at Gecko's gulch to work during
the week. Nephi wanted me to serve as a deterrent
(22:13):
for idol talk. As always, I was to let nef
I know about any transgressions that might be occurring. I
got a job in the kitchen, a relatively private space
with a phone that I was granted full access to
at Moon McKenna's suggestion, I began to call my niece
I La Rey on a regular basis. Every so often,
(22:35):
I was required to take Evangeline to the social services
building in Saint George. A few weeks ago, I was
confronted with the news that Nicholas had been picked up
on some federal charges I was unaware of. He'd made
a deal to serve as an informant in exchange for
a lighter prison sentence. While Nicholas feared tattling on his
(22:56):
associates in Las Vegas, he had no qualms about selling
out the people who provided cover for him.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
In Utah.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
The government wanted to crack down on what it considered
to be welfare fraud happening in Zion.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Flats.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
Having spent most of my life working at the community farm,
I had little knowledge of the church redistribution program. Like
all the women in Zion Flats, I gave my welfare
checks to the prophet. I had no idea what happened
to the money once it was out of my hands.
Even if I did, there was no way I would
help Nicholas betray my brother. Liar that he is. Nicholas
(23:35):
never followed through on his promise to help me. He
took off, leaving me stuck with Evangeline. I was sorry
that Nicholas was now imprisoned, though it paved the way
for my own emancipation. All I needed to do was
sign over custodial rights of Evangeline to Meredith Andrews, the
woman in charge of a La Ray. It was Meredith,
(23:57):
not Nicholas, who offered some money for me to start
up over elsewhere. I was even assured someone would help
me apply for a grant to go to nursing school. Now,
because of Evangeliin's foolish behavior, these plans have been thrown
into total chaos.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
What happens when cats and ghosts collide? Find out in
quirky Cat gets ghosted by Adel Park. This quirky tail
is narrated by the ever so Snarky Skitter's the Cat
Skidders finds himself in the most unfortunate position of having
to help his nemesis, Blue McKenna go to heaven, hell,
(24:36):
or somewhere other than where he is, Otherwise Blue will
continue to bug Skitterers as much in depth as she
did in life. Quirky Cat gets ghosted as a frightfully
fun prance through the desert. Quirky Cat Gets Ghosted. Get
Ghosted today on Audible, Downpour and Spotify.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Meow Kiddies, Let's Talk Pets every week on demand only
on petlifradio dot com
Hey Life.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
This is Pet Life Radio. Let's talk pets, cat lovers
and feline friends. It's time for Adele Park's Quirky Cat Nips.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Today on Quirky Catnips, we're airing a chapter of Quirky
Cat Goes Splat by Adele Park. This frightfully funny tale
is narrated by the ever so snarky Skitter's the Cat.
Find out what happens when Skitters goes Cattie wump us
for a kitten named Harriet. Tune in each week to
hear a new chapter of Quirky Cat Goes Splat. Only
(00:38):
on Pet Life Radio. Meow Kiddies.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Audio recording, Saint George presents Quirky Cat Goes Splat, Written,
produced and edited by Adele Park, narrated by a full cast.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Splat Meow Bitches Twisted Tails by Skidders the Cat. Part sixteen.
All of us are damaged goods. Life has a way
of dinging and danging us, no matter how sterling our
karma may be. It's not hard to figure out how
(01:23):
a fetching me hour like Harriet could wind up with
such a detached attitude. Just look at the religious looney
tune she was conspiring with before the profit of Zion
Flats torched her home at Juniper Hollow, with Harriet and
her sister trapped inside. Harriet's mother was a full blown
belladonna addict. Her handler was fond of putting belladonna extract
(01:46):
in her milk as part of some jujuw type of sorcery.
As a result, she had trouble carrying kiddies. When Juniper
Hollow was burned, like a sacrificial stack of bad luck,
Harriet was just a tiny tot in a liter two.
Harriet and her sister were in the process of being
weaned and still quite vulnerable. Somehow, their mother managed to
(02:08):
drag them to safety, only to return to the smoking house,
where she burnt like a piece of untended kitty bacon.
After the fire, Harriet's sisters sought shelter in a house
on Granite Ridge owned by a crotchety curmudgeon named Boyd Fletcher.
He dubbed her Kitty Castaway, but later changed the name
to Miss Kitty once she had won over his crusty heart.
(02:32):
Harriet stubbornly remained at Juniper Hollow waiting for Evangeline, the
girl who had befriended her from birth two. Evangeline's credit,
she did try to care for Harriet as best she could.
The mother of my twins would often tuck granola bars
and dried fruit into the pocket of Evangeline's unsightly polygamous
(02:52):
rumper I was usually called upon to take a bite
of these items, presumably to make sure they wouldn't kill Harriet.
Thanks girlfriend, Juniper Hollow isn't far from Zion Flats unless
you're a five year old, and it's in the middle
of the night. Not winning any popularity contests at home,
Evangeline was allowed to wander off at will. This was
(03:15):
good news for Harriet, who received frequent midnight visits from
her human Ornda. Evangeline's angry custodian seemed especially hopeful of
the chances this poor child would collide with disaster. Nonetheless,
Orinda would soon discover things wouldn't go according to plans
(03:35):
bah Chapter sixteen, Ornda, the only thing I loathe more
than children are animals.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Now I've got both of these vile species riding in
my van. My only consolation is that I will never
again have to tend to someone else's children or pets.
I endured a tedious, nerve wracking drive from Gekoskulch to
the Social services building in Las Vegas. I felt unusually skittish,
(04:06):
constantly looking over my shoulder to see if we were
being followed. Someone alerted Nephi that Evangeline had been gone
all night. Stupid, selfish girl. Evangeline put both of us
in danger. It was all over that mangy orange cat
she calls Harriet. No matter how much I punished her,
(04:28):
Evangeline kept sneaking over to Juniper Hollow to feed that
repulsive creature. Because of Evangeline's filthy fiend, our lives were
now in jeopardy. I used the ride to Las Vegas
to explain the new order to Evangeline. First, she had
to stop sniveling. It was uncalled for, an unbecoming Besides,
(04:52):
she'd gotten her way with the cat. I smiled inwardly
at the thought that Evangeline's new caretaker would have to
deal with hair. The traffic in Las Vegas was terrifying.
Worried that I would get hit, I clutched the steering
wheel and moved my face about three inches from the windshield.
I'm not sure how this helped, but It gave me
(05:14):
an odd sense of comfort. Miraculously, we arrived at Social
Services in one piece. My niece Aila Rey and her
caretaker Meredith Andrews had made arrangements to take Evangeline off
my hands. I was relieved to know I wouldn't have
to cart around this impertinent child any longer. I've been
(05:36):
cursed with scene to Evangeline since the moment she slipped
into this world, obscure and deathly white. Her mother, Rebecca,
took little interest in her strange child, except when she
needed someone to cast incantations upon. The rest of the time,
Rebecca regarded Evangeline like the nuisance she is. In Zion flats,
(05:59):
men are the only ones considered to be of value.
Women are treated as chattel, put on earth to propagate
the species. Rebecca had her own way of settling this score,
tearying with the occult, trying to manifest bad luck, like
there wasn't already plenty of that to go around. My brother,
(06:19):
the Prophet Nephi, assigned me the duty of reporting on
any of Rebecca's activities that did not adhere to the
word of wisdom. She would not stay sweet as the
prophet commanded. I was also made to give briefings on
the activities of my second husband, Nicholas de Luca. This
task was more complicated. Nicholas had opened my eyes to
(06:43):
new possibilities, ones that were now propelling me to drive
a shadow child and her dirty cat into the city
of Sin. I had no intention of staying in Las
Vegas any longer than it took to drop off my
unwonted Ward. I was leaving the desert for good. There
never was anything here for me. None of my sister
(07:07):
wives ever liked me. No one liked me. The only
friend I've ever had is a con artist, and he's
in jail. Growing up, I was relentlessly taunted by the
other children in Zion Flats. They called me Fuzzy Wuzzy
and Grizly Adams. Heavenly Father must not have wanted me
(07:28):
to suffer this in a vanity because I was given
an unsightly amount of body hair. I've got a sturdy
build and my teeth aren't good. My lineage was my
only saving grace before my brother Nephi became prophet. That
position was held by our father. When I was thirteen,
(07:49):
I was given in marriage to Hiram Stratton, a doctor
and member of the Sacred Order in Zion Flats. Hiram
was an ambitious, well established member of the community. Everyone
is on Medicaid, so he had lots of patience with
guaranteed reimbursement. The church owns the clinic, though Hiram benefited
(08:10):
handsomely from his position. I was Hiram's fourth wife in
what was to become a plural marriage involving more than
two dozen women. Because of my age and family status,
I was allowed to live in Hiram's main house. I
was petrified the first night Hiram came to my bedroom.
(08:30):
I quickly discovered my fears were baseless. Hiram had no
intention of consecrating our marriage, calling me uglier than a
slot bucket of armpits. Angry that he'd been assigned such
an unattractive wife, Hiram made me sleep on the floor
during the nights he was scheduled to stay in my room.
(08:52):
I shivered on a homemade rug without a blanket or pillow.
I was still a teenager, growing into an oversight adult
at a rapid rate. My body ached from sleeping on
the floor. Eventually I caught pneumonia, rendering me feverish and exhausted.
When my illness worsened, Hiram publicly disgraced me by asking
(09:16):
for prayers for his barren wife during church services one Sunday.
Ashamed and humiliated, I fell out of favor with my husband.
In a polygamist community, that means the husband no longer
engages in marital relations. Since the purpose of such unions
is to produce children, there was no reason for Hiram
(09:39):
to acknowledge me at all. I didn't care that I
was never to be a mother. Even then. I found
children to be bothersome and bad smelling. I wanted to
be a nurse, a suggestion I timidly made to Hiram.
One of my sister wives was already a nurse and
another one was in school. Hiram responded by telling me
(10:02):
sick people didn't want to be touched by a hairy
dysentery like me. I was sent to work at the
community farm instead. I awoke before dawn seven days a
week to work in the dairy, a good twenty minute
hike in the dark. I was responsible for the morning
milking of one hundred and twenty cows. After that, I
(10:25):
mucked out stalls and cleaned the milking equipment. This went
on day after day, year after year. After a massive
heart attack brought on by not following his own advice,
my husband Hiram was returned to heavenly father. I was
a widow for twenty seven days before being reassigned to
(10:46):
Nicholas de Luca. I was given in marriage as a
way of keeping tabs on his activities. Nicholas had been
told of my supposed inability to have children, meaning he
wasn't expected to perform duties as a husband. Nonetheless, I
was elevated from manure shoveler at the dairy farm to
(11:07):
first wife of Juniper Hollow. Cunning and clever, Nicholas took
the tactic of befriending me. I was caught off guard
by this unexpected dynamic, falling hard for a man I
knew to be a criminal. Nicholas was always asking me
what I thought of this, or that it was the
first time anyone cared to hear my opinion about anything.
(11:31):
Our first three months of marriage were the happiest times
of my life. In those days, I truly enjoyed being married.
Preparing succulent meals to share with Nicholas. At the end
of the day. Nearly every evening that summer, we sat
in the open square of space on top of the house,
which Nicholas called a widow's walk. We'd eat our dessert there,
(11:55):
enjoying the stars and cool evening breeze. Contrary to the
doctrine and covenants of our church, Nicholas consumed alcohol, sometimes
to an extreme extent. As his wife, it was not
my place to comment on these activities to anyone but
the prophet Nephi.
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Nicholas liked to talk when he drank, fondly recalling memories
of his boyhood summers in Oregon. I became fascinated with
these inebriated ramblings, longing to see the ocean other than
the trips I may to the liquor store in Mesquite, Nevada.
I'd never even been outside the state of Utah. Once.
When I was in Mesquite buying alcohol for Nicholas, I
(14:09):
stopped in the library. I asked to see some information
about Oregon and was surprised when a young girl led
me to a computer. She brought up some of the
most breath taking images. I made a promise to myself
to see this in person. I didn't care if I
had to die trying my happiness evaporated when Rebecca joined
(14:30):
our marriage. Bewitched by Rebecca's beauty, Nicholas was consumed with her,
engaging in wild nights that left me chagrined. My status
as first wife was never honored by Rebecca. She took little,
if any direction from me. Rebecca's only responsibility was to
maintain the garden, which she quickly turned into a gypsy jungle.
(14:54):
The entire yard was a tangle of color and disarray.
The widow's walk, once a quiet sanctuary, was crowded with
potted plants trained to crawl upwards in a way that
made the walls look like they were growing. Clusters of
purple belladonna plants sprang up all over the property. A
few days shy of her first wedding anniversary, Rebecca gave
(15:18):
birth to Evangeline. I don't take much stock in omens,
but that birth was a hard one, coming on a
night when the wind was howling so hard I thought
God himself was sending out a warning. Not long after that,
Rebecca started drinking alcohol with Nicholas, apparently fearing no repercussions
(15:38):
from the prophet. She was often too woozy to look
after her newborn. I was left to feed and change
evangeline chores. I did with bitter resentment. Asserting her influence
with Nicholas, Rebecca demanded that he sleep in her room
every night, since I wasn't propagating the species. Rebecca claimed
(15:59):
to be trying to produce a male air and thus
needed the attentions of her husband to accomplish this important task.
I missed my evening talks with Nicholas eventually, though he
came back around in search of an ally. Rebecca was
indulging in more than just wine. She was using belladonna
(16:19):
to escape the realities of her life. As a result,
she miscarried one child after another. Nicholas seemed more concerned
with Rebecca's radical behavior than he was by all the
lost babies. Rebecca often became violent, issuing baseless accusations. At times,
(16:40):
she'd stay out all night, often bringing Evangeline with her.
Evangeline would appear at dawn, dirty and smelling of smoke.
I don't know where Rebecca was setting those fires. They
were no doubt part of the drug crazed rituals she
had become fond of hosting. Disturbed by this, as well
(17:00):
as the uptick and vicious fights. Nicholas resumed spending time
with me When Rebecca was off on one of her
mad outings. I was often awakened by the sounds of
shrill screams and objects being thrown. I remained in my room,
understanding it was not my place to interfere in the
relations between a husband and one of his wives. In
(17:24):
any other polygamist marriage, Rebecca would have been reminded to
stay sweet. In a not so sweet manner, things were
nearing a boiling point. Nicholas had once owned a company
in Las Vegas that made headstones. A man he associated
with was killed on his property. The police accused Nicholas
(17:45):
of laundering money. He was offered a reduce sentence in
exchange for testimony about the murder. It was common knowledge
that the de Luca family was part of the mob.
Fearing his kinfolk more than the authorities, disappeared during the
five years Nicholas hid at Juniper Hollow. One of the
men involved with the murder was sent to prison. The
(18:08):
other one died under mysterious circumstances before he could be prosecuted.
Thinking it was safe to return to Las Vegas, and
frustrated with his ungovernable wife. Nicholas began to speak of leaving.
Tempted by the fantasy that I too could escape, I
listened withholding the information from Nephi. It was the first
(18:30):
time in my life that I knowingly went against my prophet.
It's unclear if Rebecca suspected Nicholas was planning to leave,
or if her behavior was just a natural progression of
her mental deterioration. She was agitated and hadn't slept in
the day's leading up to her death. Rebecca had been
(18:52):
bringing Evangeline home from moonlight excursions with her mouth stained purple.
Surely Nicholas must known Rebecca was feeding their daughter Belladonna,
given that he sometimes ingested it himself. But Nicholas had
his own problems. He was under constant pressure from the
prophet to finish his work for the new temple in
(19:15):
Zion Flats. Nephi called Nicholas into a meeting on a
day when Rebecca was particularly strung out, Claiming she was starving.
Rebecca prepared a lunch of blueberry hotcakes with warm syrup,
enticed by the inviting smells. I joined Rebecca at the table.
I should have known better. Halfway through lunch, my head
(19:37):
began to cloud and my stomach rebolted. Certain that I
had been poisoned with belladonna, I forced myself to evacuate
the contents of my stomach. It helped, but I was
left feeling weak and dizzy. I took to my bed,
hoping to sleep off the illness. In the evening, I
(19:57):
was awakened by the sound of furious screams coming from
the yard. Nicholas had returned from his meeting. I could
hear him accusing Rebecca of trying to drown Evangeline in
the christening font. Rebecca claimed she was just trying to
baptize her daughter, knowing full well that duty can only
be performed by the prophet. The fight moved inside, with
(20:21):
Rebecca screeching and throwing things. I had confided in Nephi
that Rebecca was spinning out of control. Most of the
fights happened at night, so Nephi instructed me to cut
the power to the house if things got out of hand.
I heard Nicholas holler in pain, a sign the violence
had escalated. Running outside, I grabbed a pair of wirecutters
(20:45):
and threw the house into darkness. Moments later, Nicholas burst
from the house, heading for Fletcher's sneak. Somehow I knew
he was leaving for good. Just as I was deciding
what to do next, Angeline appeared at my side, wet
and frightened. The sensible thing would have been to let
(21:05):
Rebecca do what she will with her own daughter. Instead,
I loaded this pesky child into the boat and rowed
her to the other side of the lake, instructing her
to climb to safety. Nicholas had oftentimes brought Evangeline to
Granite Ridge while he was working, so she knew about
the ladder in one of the catacombs. As I was
(21:27):
rowing back to the house, I heard, rather than saw,
Rebecca throw herself off the widow's walk. I shall never
forget the sound of those wounded yowls. I cleaned up
the scene as best as I could, dragging Rebecca's body
away from the house. Then I got in the van
and drove to Zion Flats to alert Nephi. To my consternation,
(21:51):
custody of Evangeline was given to me. We moved into
one of Nephi's homes, sharing a small room. Thankfully I
wasn't sent back to work at the dairy. Since I
now had a license and a van, I drove the
group of women employed at Gecko's gulch to work during
the week. Nephi wanted me to serve as a deterrent
(22:13):
for idol talk. As always, I was to let nef
I know about any transgressions that might be occurring. I
got a job in the kitchen, a relatively private space
with a phone that I was granted full access to
at Moon McKenna's suggestion, I began to call my niece
I La Rey on a regular basis. Every so often,
(22:35):
I was required to take Evangeline to the social services
building in Saint George. A few weeks ago, I was
confronted with the news that Nicholas had been picked up
on some federal charges I was unaware of. He'd made
a deal to serve as an informant in exchange for
a lighter prison sentence. While Nicholas feared tattling on his
(22:56):
associates in Las Vegas, he had no qualms about selling
out the people who provided cover for him.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
In Utah.
Speaker 4 (23:03):
The government wanted to crack down on what it considered
to be welfare fraud happening in Zion.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Flats.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
Having spent most of my life working at the community farm,
I had little knowledge of the church redistribution program. Like
all the women in Zion Flats, I gave my welfare
checks to the prophet. I had no idea what happened
to the money once it was out of my hands.
Even if I did, there was no way I would
help Nicholas betray my brother. Liar that he is. Nicholas
(23:35):
never followed through on his promise to help me. He
took off, leaving me stuck with Evangeline. I was sorry
that Nicholas was now imprisoned, though it paved the way
for my own emancipation. All I needed to do was
sign over custodial rights of Evangeline to Meredith Andrews, the
woman in charge of a La Ray. It was Meredith,
(23:57):
not Nicholas, who offered some money for me to start
up over elsewhere. I was even assured someone would help
me apply for a grant to go to nursing school. Now,
because of Evangeliin's foolish behavior, these plans have been thrown
into total chaos.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
What happens when cats and ghosts collide? Find out in
quirky Cat gets ghosted by Adel Park. This quirky tail
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Skidders finds himself in the most unfortunate position of having
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(24:36):
or somewhere other than where he is, Otherwise Blue will
continue to bug Skitterers as much in depth as she
did in life. Quirky Cat gets ghosted as a frightfully
fun prance through the desert. Quirky Cat Gets Ghosted. Get
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