October 28, 2025 • 23 mins
What happens when a snarky cat tangles with a kitten from a polygamist cult in Utah? Tune in each week to hear a chapter of Quirky Cat Goes Splat by Adele Park on Pet Life Radio. Meow Kitties!
EPISODE NOTES: Quirky Cat Goes Splat! Chapter 20
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EPISODE NOTES: Quirky Cat Goes Splat! Chapter 20
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey Life, This is Pet Life Radio. Let's talk pets,
cat lovers and feline friends. It's time for Adele Park's
Quirky Cat Nips.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Today on Quirky Catnips, we're airing a chapter of Quirky
Cat Goes Splat by Adele Park. This frightfully funny tale
is narrated by the ever so snarky Skitter's the Cat.
Find out what happens when Skidters goes Cattie wump Us
for a kitten named Harriet. Tune in each week to
hear a new chapter of Quirky Cat Goes Splat. Only
(00:38):
on Pet Life Radio Meow.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Kiddies Audio Recording, Saint George presents Quirky Cat Goes Splat, Written,
produced and edited by Adele Park, narrated by a full cast.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Splat Meow Bitches Twisted Tails by Skidters The Cat Part
twenty Good Time Skidders has the blues. I can't sleep,
a condition which uncouth ly violates the norms and standards
of being a cat. I roam the halls at Gecko's Gulch,
(01:24):
bellowing until someone lets me outside. Once I get there,
I miss the air conditioning and scratch at the windows
until I get let back in. This behavior ticks off
all the humans in the house, which is the only
source of joy I have other than rubbing my butt
on their pillows. Each hour I spend apart from Harriet
feels like a lifetime in dog years. True, Harriet often
(01:46):
kept me at Pau's lengked. She didn't shy away from
letting me know what a yuckle I am either. I
missed being razzed about all the hair falling off my
badunka dunk when I had that unfortunate mishap with the
hairy movel cream. I'd welcome the opportunity to here. Harriet
tell me, I'm so fatch he has to take a
train and two buses just to get on my good side. Grundle,
(02:06):
my best dog friend, wants me to go trolling for
tail with him. As I've mentioned before, navel cats are
way too domesticated for my taste. Grundle is so big
and goobery, he's not exactly an ideal running mate anyway.
Add to that the fact that we're both hitting on
(02:26):
the same team when it comes to our desire for
feminine felines and the chances of scoring seem dismal at best. Fortunately,
misery loves company. It's comforting to have a human like
Taj Wakefield around during troubling times. As is the case
with me, Taj tends to eat when he's feeling depressed.
Now that Arinda is no longer the cook at Geko's Gulch,
(02:49):
Taj has reclaimed the kitchen. He's on a culinary bender
that would have Fat Bastard from the Austin Powers movies
Jerkin his girkin. Taj and I wallowed in our collective
gloom with huge bowls of mashed potatoes and gravy, London
broil and sweet lemon pie. I'm happy to report my
(03:10):
young friend has mastered the art of a perfect meringue.
I love how some of it sticks to my whiskers
to lick off later. It's kind of like mobile leftovers.
I didn't care that I was becoming the mother in
What's Eating Gilbert Grape. There's no shame in eating a
whole chicken in bed Yeah. Chapter twenty, Taj Wakefield.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Every time my dad shows up at Gecko's Ghost it's
bad news. I thought the purpose of this latest trip
was just so Dad could yell at me in person
for screwing up at Juniper Hollow. What I got instead
was the old I'm disappointed in you lecture. Then he
told me Mom is moving in with her new boyfriend.
(03:55):
Dad says they've agreed to joint custody. I'll be living
with him in Las Vegas and visiting Mom in New York.
Not if I can help it. I'm through with all
these mother efforts. Mom keeps calling, trying to reassure me
we're still a family. Really, how are we still a
family if we're living at opposite ends of the country.
(04:17):
She hasn't said much about her boyfriend. Nice of her
to let Dad break it to me. Coward, I'm not
even fifteen years old, and I've already had two mothers
abandoned me on the side of the road like a
sad sack of puppies. I'm so pissed it doesn't even
hurt anymore. Dad thinks I should go to therapy. That's
(04:38):
rich as hollandais sauce. These ladies swap me away like
rad Ant's at a picnic, and I'm the one who
needs to have my head examined. Uh no, Dad, I said,
if anyone needs a shrink it's these love them and
leave them fake mommies. I wasn't expecting Dad to stick
up for mom, especially after what she did to him.
(05:01):
I guess life is full of surprises. Dad stayed at
Gecko's gulch for two days, it felt more like two years.
It rubbed me raw that he had the nerve to
defend a woman who treats her son like nothing more
than a blistering pimple on the butt of life. Maybe
Brandon's dad could write a song about that. Doctor Spinkle
(05:23):
is kind of a heart ass when it comes to Brandon.
Then we found out he spent the whole summer trying
to keep some dufist named Drew Compton from letting Brandon
know he's his real father. Brandon actually found out about
Drew a long time ago when Brandon's mom decided to
go on celebrity Cougars. Brandon spent his savings paying a
(05:44):
computer nerd to dig up a bunch of stuff I
already knew. Brandon's mom was churning butter with one of
his classmates. It's the main reason he can't stand her.
Brandon's so embarrassed. He keeps trying to talk Blue into
moving the family to legacy. Even worse, Keifer Nichols, Navel's
resident bully, figured out Brandon's dad is in the rectal surgeons.
(06:08):
It was only a matter of time before everyone here
knew about his mom as well. Nadine rein Hart Mackel
Praying Stratton via Pondo Davenport Milner showed up in time
to help cook dinner on Dad's second night at Gecko's gulch.
In the morning, Dad took Blue to the airport in
Las Vegas. Just a few hours after they left, the
(06:29):
FBI arrested Nephi Stratton, the profit of Zion Flats. The
story made national news, but I found out about it
on Facebook. They got him for welfare and food stamp fraud.
Brandon and I couldn't figure out why they didn't bust
Nephi on the real crimes he's done. Everyone knows Nephi
is violin as all get out. Brandon's told me horror
(06:51):
stories about what he did to Isla Ray. She's one
of the lucky ones who lived to tell. We may
never prove it, but Zion Flats isn't the only war
zone around here. God only knows how many people have
been killed at Juniper Hollow, much to Brandon's disappointment. Evangeliine's
dad wasn't one of them. Not that he wanted the
(07:12):
guy dead, It's just that Brandon was convinced Arenda the
frightful furry cook killed Nicholas de Luca. I'm surprised Nephi
didn't beat him to the punch. Nicholas is the whole
reason Nephi is now chilling behind bars. Despite his theory
getting all blown to hell, Brandon is still fixated on
Juniper Hollow. I'm done with that place for good. The
(07:35):
last thing I need is to drag another girl out
of a baptism font in the middle of the night. Besides,
I promised Blue I wouldn't set foot on that property ever. Again,
so did Brandon. Courtney Fletcher has been texting Brandon NonStop
ever since the news broke about Nephi. Now both of
them are convinced the FEDS have overlooked some kind of
(07:57):
major crime. I'm not a fan of Courtney. I really
didn't appreciate her getting Brandon all riled up about Juniper
Hollow again. I'm glad Brandon has decided to be an
investigative journalist, but he needs to get on the bus
back to reality. For the record, just because Brandon hassles
me about being the quote queen of Cupcakes doesn't mean
(08:17):
I want to nail him back. I think it's kind
of cool that Brandon wants to write for the school
newspaper next year. I've been trying to get Brandon to
concentrate on what really matters. Our upcoming dinner date with
Courtney and Danica. Nadine said we could host our party
in the courtyard at Gecko's Coach if we'd do some
chores at Legacy Grove. It was a workday at Good Karma,
(08:38):
so Nadine dropped us off early in the morning. We
were planning to stay all day. We had a place
to get out of the sun since the electricity and
plumbing was finally fixed. We'd been raking the orchard for
about an hour when we heard the sound of a
truck coming up the dirt road to Legacy Grove. I
knew we were in for trouble when Courtney and her
(08:59):
stupid and Sissy jumped out of the old beater being
driven by Courtney's brother Clive. He had just gotten his
driver's license and was looking for an excuse to drive somewhere.
The place he most wanted to go, Juniper Hollow. The
Fletchers owned the piece of property overlooking Juniper Hollow. Courtney's
uncle Boyd lives in a cabin up there, but granted
(09:22):
Ridge belongs to the whole family. Thanks to Brandon, Courtney
was all caught up in his conspiracy theories about Juniper Hollow.
I didn't want to get in Clive's putrid truck, but
I didn't want to stay at Legacy Grove by myself either. Besides,
someone needed to make sure Brandon didn't make a mistake
he'd be sorry for later. Of the five of us,
(09:42):
I'm the only one who's actually been in the catacombs
at Juniper Hollow, I swam across the lake a couple
of times, taking a few steps into the caves just
to see what was up. It's dark as night in there.
Worried about bats or god knows what else, I wandered
in just to few feet. The plan today was to
go in from the top.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Hang tight, kitties, we'll be back in a scratch. Pack
your bags, kiddies, it's time to take a trip to
quirky cannabis country. Find out what happens when a writer
turns to reality TV as a way to cure an
apocalyptic case of writer's block refer madness ensues in Quirky
(10:28):
Cannabis Country by Adell Park. Get Quirkycannabis Country Today on Audible,
dot com, Overdrive, and book beat.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
Take a bite out of your competition. Advertise your business
with an ad in pet Life Radio podcasts and radio shows.
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(10:59):
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visit Petlife Radio dot com, slash advertised today, Let's.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Talk past it, Let's done Petal, pet Life.
Speaker 5 (11:24):
Radio, Hetline Radio, Petlife Radio dot Com.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
We now return to more of Quirkycat Go Splat by
Adell Park on pet Life Radio.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Clive Park the truck at the lower edge of the
Fletcher's property. We had to hike about a mile to
get to the top of Granite Ridge. Sissy kept taking photos,
which I sincerely hoped she wouldn't post a Facebook. The
last thing I wanted was for Danica to see me
in the company of that airhead. I reminded Brandon he'd
(12:01):
promised Blue he would never go on the property at
Juniper Hollow. Ever, again, I knew for darn sure I
wasn't going to. Fortunately, Clive was enough of a numbskull
to do it for us. I'm not sure where he
got it, but Clive had one of those minor hats
with a light on top. We stood looking down on
(12:22):
the catacombs, searching for the iron peg ladder we all
knew was there. Finally Clive found it, though the first
peg was so far down he nearly slipped good gravy.
This idiot was going to kill himself. I didn't think
much of Courtney when she told Clive to grow a
pair and climb down. Already, the plan was for Clive
(12:43):
to take some photos with his cell phone. After a
few minutes, we couldn't see the light on Clive's hat anymore.
Courtney kept yelling down to ask what he was seeing.
Mostly all we heard were grunts from Clive as he
struggled to find the next peg in the ladder. At
some point, Clive how that he'd reached the bottom. Courtney
wanted to know if he saw any dead bodies, Like
(13:05):
Clive wouldn't have let us know about something like that. Courtney,
obnoxious as ever, demanded that Brandon go down there and
make sure Clive didn't overlook anything. Don't do it, Brandon,
I said, you promised, Blue. Courtney told him not to
be a whimp and do it already. This really steamed
my broccoli. If it's so easy, Courtney, why don't you
(13:27):
go down yourself? To my surprise, Sissy agreed. Never want
to refuse a dare. Courtney climbed in and started a
shaky descent. She was using her cellphone to light the way.
Every few feet, she'd stop and take a picture, hanging
onto the metal peg with just one hand. Where did
Brandon find this Einstein? A few minutes later, we could
(13:51):
hear Courtney and Clive having a discussion from the bottom
of the catacombs. Their voices sent up echoes that made
me nervous. Brandon must have felt the same way, because
he kept urging them to come back up, just to
get inside Brandon's head. Courtney took her time returning to
the top of the ridge. The temperature felt like one
hundred degrees. We crowded into the shade of a small
(14:14):
tree to look at the photos Clive and Courtney had taken.
They were so dark I could hardly tell what I
was looking at. I nearly jumped out of my skin
when a voice boomed, what are you kids doing here?
I was just about to bolt from my spot under
the tree when Clive said something like, how do uncle Boyd?
I got the feeling it wasn't a close relationship, because
(14:36):
Boyd said we should get before he told our mamas
what we were up to, like mine would even care.
Clive dropped us off at Legacy Grove. Despite being gone
for a few hours, we were still able to get
quite a bit of yard work done. I was thinking, whew,
glad we escaped that disaster. Then I saw the pictures
(14:56):
on Facebook. That night, I called Danica, but she wouldn't answer.
I hardly ate anything At dinner. Everything tasted like recycled cardboard, which,
knowing Nadine it likely was. I tried calling Danica a
few more times, and even sent an email in case
all of the phones at her house were broken and
she somehow didn't get my messages. Brandon's dad skyped him
(15:19):
that night, a move that initially sent him into a
cold sweat. Was it possible he found out we were
on Granite Ridge. I couldn't take any more bad news,
so I slunk into the TV room to zone out.
I was watching an episode of The Simpsons that I'd
seen a million times when I heard Brandon whooping. Doctor
Spinkle was calling with news Brandon already had. He was
(15:42):
going to be a big brother again. Brandon's dad must
have had a change of heart, because he was all
excited that Blue was pregnant. I should have been glad
for Brandon, but I wasn't in the mood for this
sort of happy horseshit. I guess everyone gets a good
ending except me. Brandon scored the girl he wanted, his
dad was flying high over the news he was having
(16:02):
another kid, and there was no more divorce talk in
the Spinkle family. I felt like a schlep for resenting
them so much. I moped around Gecko's coach the next day, too,
bummed to do anything. When the Polygamust ladies finished work
that afternoon, Nadine called me into the kitchen. I really
wasn't up for a cooking lesson. Nadine told me to
(16:23):
spill it, so I did. While I didn't mention where
the pictures of me and Sissy were taken, I told
Nadine they were destroying my upcoming date with Danica. I
was amazed when Nadine suggested that we make Danica a cake,
and not just any kind. We made the pumpkin spice
cake that Blue had for her wedding. I was surprised
because Nadine said she didn't want to be a pusher
(16:46):
of diabetic items, yet here she was helping me bake
a cake for Danica. For the second week in a row,
I got called in for a Thursday shift at a
Taste of Heaven Bakery. Nadine drove me to Navel before
the sun was up, so there wasn't any place for
Brandon to catnap until the library opened. I envied him
peacefully snoozing in his air conditioned room at Gecko's Gulch.
(17:10):
I planned to bring the cake over to Danica's house
during my lunch break. I wanted to catch her before
she went to work at the pool. We were busy
all morning at the bakery. I was afraid i'd miss
Danica and be stuck with that cake. I sure the
heck didn't want to drop it off with her mother. Frustrated,
I slammed around the shop angrily, emptying trash cans and
(17:32):
muttering under my breath about all the sticky goop I
had to wipe up. Then I felt a hand on
my shoulder. Certain it was my boss telling me to
take a chill pill, I dropped the bag of garbage
I was tying up, irked that I was in for
a scolding. The hand didn't belong to my boss. It
was my mom's. What I thought she was unavailable this summer.
(17:54):
I was so shocked I couldn't even say hello. Mom
threw her bow arms around me, hugging me and kissing
the top of my head. I didn't realize I was
crying until she stood back to take a good look
at me. I had changed over the summer, thanks to Randall.
I no longer came across looking like a government bureaucrat.
(18:15):
Mom ran her hands over my spiky doo telling me
she loved it. My boss came over and introduced herself,
offering Mom a glass of milk and a warm croissant,
even though it has a zillion calories. Mom actually took
a few bites as I sat across from her in
the booth. She wanted to know all about my job
and whether I was helping in the kitchen at the bakery.
(18:36):
That's when I remember Danica's cake bolting up. I begged
my boss to let me take an early lunch. Mom
drove me to Danica's house. Together. We walked to the
front door. Missus Craton answered and invited us in. I
sat on the couch with the cake box balanced on
my knees. They were shaking, either from fear or from
the joy of being with my mom again. Danica came
(18:59):
downstairs in her lifeguard uniform. She looked confused when she
saw the three of us sitting in her living room.
I stood up and handed her the box. Danica, I said,
I made this for you. Wow, Could I be any lamer?
Danica took the box and opened it. It's Nadine's secret
(19:19):
pumpkin spice cake. Okay, apparently I could say dumber stuff.
The double date was back on. We strung lights in
the courtyard and set out a bunch of battery operated candles.
I wanted real ones, but Mom was afraid we'd burn
the place down. We covered the patio table with a
white linen cloth. In the center, we had a beautiful
(19:42):
arrangement of wildflowers. Not wanting another Bellaedona catastrophe, we ordered
them from Heaven Sent Floral. I had a small seizure
when the girls were brought into the courtyard. For once
Danica's hair was down. It was curled in long loops,
which I thought made her the most beautiful girl in
the world. She was even wearing a dress. Danica didn't
(20:06):
show nearly the amount of leg Courtney did, but I
couldn't take my eyes off her because I was slammed
for time. I planned a fairly simple menu. Fresh shrimp
with homemade cocktail sauce for an appetizer, followed by an
end dive in cucumber salad. For the main entree, I
prepared grilled pork chops with a spicy, plump sauce. Dessert
(20:28):
was warm apple strudel. Not to bragg or anything, but
the whole meal was friggin' awesome. After we'd polished off
the last of the strudel, Courtney and Brandon went behind
the honeysuckle hedge to make out. I doubted anything like
that would ever be in the carts for me, at
least not tonight. I was lucky Danica even showed up.
(20:49):
Mom had given me a crash course on slow dancing,
something she assured me was a smooth move with girls.
I knew Danka was in the tank for John Mayer,
though I had Mom by one of his CDs while
she was in town picking up the groceries for our dinner.
I'd gotten used to the head banging rifts from the
rectal surgeons, but tonight John Mayer was just what those
(21:12):
doctors would have ordered. I stood up and offered Danica
my hand. I was nervous as hell. Somehow I managed
to put my arm around Danica's waist. Slowly we began
to dance. I'd been staring at Danica all night like
a total fitdiot, but suddenly I couldn't look at her
(21:33):
at all. Then she said my name, almost in a whisper.
I looked up, our eyes locked. It seemed as if
time had stopped. My mouth was so dry it felt
like I had eaten a sheet of sandpaper. My entire
body was trembling. God, why am I such a knob chop?
(21:54):
I was blowing the whole deal. Danica moved closer to
my complete shot. She kissed me, and not just the
little party peck either. I knew my life was never
gonna be the same again.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
What happens when cats and ghosts collide? Find out and
Quirky Cat gets ghosted by Adele Park. This quirky tail
is narrated by the ever so snarky Skitter's the cat
Skidders finds himself in the most unfortunate position of having
to help his nemesis, Blue McKenna go to Heaven, hell,
(22:30):
or somewhere other than where he is, Otherwise Blue will
continue to bug Skitterers as much in depth as she
did in life. Quirky Cat gets ghosted as a frightfully
fun prance through the desert. Quirky Cat Gets Ghosted, Get
Ghosted today on Audible, Downpour and Spotify.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Meow Kiddies, Let's Talk Pets every week on demand only
on Petlife Radio dot cog Com
Hey Life, This is Pet Life Radio. Let's talk pets,
cat lovers and feline friends. It's time for Adele Park's
Quirky Cat Nips.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Today on Quirky Catnips, we're airing a chapter of Quirky
Cat Goes Splat by Adele Park. This frightfully funny tale
is narrated by the ever so snarky Skitter's the Cat.
Find out what happens when Skidters goes Cattie wump Us
for a kitten named Harriet. Tune in each week to
hear a new chapter of Quirky Cat Goes Splat. Only
(00:38):
on Pet Life Radio Meow.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Kiddies Audio Recording, Saint George presents Quirky Cat Goes Splat, Written,
produced and edited by Adele Park, narrated by a full cast.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Splat Meow Bitches Twisted Tails by Skidters The Cat Part
twenty Good Time Skidders has the blues. I can't sleep,
a condition which uncouth ly violates the norms and standards
of being a cat. I roam the halls at Gecko's Gulch,
(01:24):
bellowing until someone lets me outside. Once I get there,
I miss the air conditioning and scratch at the windows
until I get let back in. This behavior ticks off
all the humans in the house, which is the only
source of joy I have other than rubbing my butt
on their pillows. Each hour I spend apart from Harriet
feels like a lifetime in dog years. True, Harriet often
(01:46):
kept me at Pau's lengked. She didn't shy away from
letting me know what a yuckle I am either. I
missed being razzed about all the hair falling off my
badunka dunk when I had that unfortunate mishap with the
hairy movel cream. I'd welcome the opportunity to here. Harriet
tell me, I'm so fatch he has to take a
train and two buses just to get on my good side. Grundle,
(02:06):
my best dog friend, wants me to go trolling for
tail with him. As I've mentioned before, navel cats are
way too domesticated for my taste. Grundle is so big
and goobery, he's not exactly an ideal running mate anyway.
Add to that the fact that we're both hitting on
(02:26):
the same team when it comes to our desire for
feminine felines and the chances of scoring seem dismal at best. Fortunately,
misery loves company. It's comforting to have a human like
Taj Wakefield around during troubling times. As is the case
with me, Taj tends to eat when he's feeling depressed.
Now that Arinda is no longer the cook at Geko's Gulch,
(02:49):
Taj has reclaimed the kitchen. He's on a culinary bender
that would have Fat Bastard from the Austin Powers movies
Jerkin his girkin. Taj and I wallowed in our collective
gloom with huge bowls of mashed potatoes and gravy, London
broil and sweet lemon pie. I'm happy to report my
(03:10):
young friend has mastered the art of a perfect meringue.
I love how some of it sticks to my whiskers
to lick off later. It's kind of like mobile leftovers.
I didn't care that I was becoming the mother in
What's Eating Gilbert Grape. There's no shame in eating a
whole chicken in bed Yeah. Chapter twenty, Taj Wakefield.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Every time my dad shows up at Gecko's Ghost it's
bad news. I thought the purpose of this latest trip
was just so Dad could yell at me in person
for screwing up at Juniper Hollow. What I got instead
was the old I'm disappointed in you lecture. Then he
told me Mom is moving in with her new boyfriend.
(03:55):
Dad says they've agreed to joint custody. I'll be living
with him in Las Vegas and visiting Mom in New York.
Not if I can help it. I'm through with all
these mother efforts. Mom keeps calling, trying to reassure me
we're still a family. Really, how are we still a
family if we're living at opposite ends of the country.
(04:17):
She hasn't said much about her boyfriend. Nice of her
to let Dad break it to me. Coward, I'm not
even fifteen years old, and I've already had two mothers
abandoned me on the side of the road like a
sad sack of puppies. I'm so pissed it doesn't even
hurt anymore. Dad thinks I should go to therapy. That's
(04:38):
rich as hollandais sauce. These ladies swap me away like
rad Ant's at a picnic, and I'm the one who
needs to have my head examined. Uh no, Dad, I said,
if anyone needs a shrink it's these love them and
leave them fake mommies. I wasn't expecting Dad to stick
up for mom, especially after what she did to him.
(05:01):
I guess life is full of surprises. Dad stayed at
Gecko's gulch for two days, it felt more like two years.
It rubbed me raw that he had the nerve to
defend a woman who treats her son like nothing more
than a blistering pimple on the butt of life. Maybe
Brandon's dad could write a song about that. Doctor Spinkle
(05:23):
is kind of a heart ass when it comes to Brandon.
Then we found out he spent the whole summer trying
to keep some dufist named Drew Compton from letting Brandon
know he's his real father. Brandon actually found out about
Drew a long time ago when Brandon's mom decided to
go on celebrity Cougars. Brandon spent his savings paying a
(05:44):
computer nerd to dig up a bunch of stuff I
already knew. Brandon's mom was churning butter with one of
his classmates. It's the main reason he can't stand her.
Brandon's so embarrassed. He keeps trying to talk Blue into
moving the family to legacy. Even worse, Keifer Nichols, Navel's
resident bully, figured out Brandon's dad is in the rectal surgeons.
(06:08):
It was only a matter of time before everyone here
knew about his mom as well. Nadine rein Hart Mackel
Praying Stratton via Pondo Davenport Milner showed up in time
to help cook dinner on Dad's second night at Gecko's gulch.
In the morning, Dad took Blue to the airport in
Las Vegas. Just a few hours after they left, the
(06:29):
FBI arrested Nephi Stratton, the profit of Zion Flats. The
story made national news, but I found out about it
on Facebook. They got him for welfare and food stamp fraud.
Brandon and I couldn't figure out why they didn't bust
Nephi on the real crimes he's done. Everyone knows Nephi
is violin as all get out. Brandon's told me horror
(06:51):
stories about what he did to Isla Ray. She's one
of the lucky ones who lived to tell. We may
never prove it, but Zion Flats isn't the only war
zone around here. God only knows how many people have
been killed at Juniper Hollow, much to Brandon's disappointment. Evangeliine's
dad wasn't one of them. Not that he wanted the
(07:12):
guy dead, It's just that Brandon was convinced Arenda the
frightful furry cook killed Nicholas de Luca. I'm surprised Nephi
didn't beat him to the punch. Nicholas is the whole
reason Nephi is now chilling behind bars. Despite his theory
getting all blown to hell, Brandon is still fixated on
Juniper Hollow. I'm done with that place for good. The
(07:35):
last thing I need is to drag another girl out
of a baptism font in the middle of the night. Besides,
I promised Blue I wouldn't set foot on that property ever. Again,
so did Brandon. Courtney Fletcher has been texting Brandon NonStop
ever since the news broke about Nephi. Now both of
them are convinced the FEDS have overlooked some kind of
(07:57):
major crime. I'm not a fan of Courtney. I really
didn't appreciate her getting Brandon all riled up about Juniper
Hollow again. I'm glad Brandon has decided to be an
investigative journalist, but he needs to get on the bus
back to reality. For the record, just because Brandon hassles
me about being the quote queen of Cupcakes doesn't mean
(08:17):
I want to nail him back. I think it's kind
of cool that Brandon wants to write for the school
newspaper next year. I've been trying to get Brandon to
concentrate on what really matters. Our upcoming dinner date with
Courtney and Danica. Nadine said we could host our party
in the courtyard at Gecko's Coach if we'd do some
chores at Legacy Grove. It was a workday at Good Karma,
(08:38):
so Nadine dropped us off early in the morning. We
were planning to stay all day. We had a place
to get out of the sun since the electricity and
plumbing was finally fixed. We'd been raking the orchard for
about an hour when we heard the sound of a
truck coming up the dirt road to Legacy Grove. I
knew we were in for trouble when Courtney and her
(08:59):
stupid and Sissy jumped out of the old beater being
driven by Courtney's brother Clive. He had just gotten his
driver's license and was looking for an excuse to drive somewhere.
The place he most wanted to go, Juniper Hollow. The
Fletchers owned the piece of property overlooking Juniper Hollow. Courtney's
uncle Boyd lives in a cabin up there, but granted
(09:22):
Ridge belongs to the whole family. Thanks to Brandon, Courtney
was all caught up in his conspiracy theories about Juniper Hollow.
I didn't want to get in Clive's putrid truck, but
I didn't want to stay at Legacy Grove by myself either. Besides,
someone needed to make sure Brandon didn't make a mistake
he'd be sorry for later. Of the five of us,
(09:42):
I'm the only one who's actually been in the catacombs
at Juniper Hollow, I swam across the lake a couple
of times, taking a few steps into the caves just
to see what was up. It's dark as night in there.
Worried about bats or god knows what else, I wandered
in just to few feet. The plan today was to
go in from the top.
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(10:28):
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We now return to more of Quirkycat Go Splat by
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Speaker 4 (11:40):
Clive Park the truck at the lower edge of the
Fletcher's property. We had to hike about a mile to
get to the top of Granite Ridge. Sissy kept taking photos,
which I sincerely hoped she wouldn't post a Facebook. The
last thing I wanted was for Danica to see me
in the company of that airhead. I reminded Brandon he'd
(12:01):
promised Blue he would never go on the property at
Juniper Hollow. Ever, again, I knew for darn sure I
wasn't going to. Fortunately, Clive was enough of a numbskull
to do it for us. I'm not sure where he
got it, but Clive had one of those minor hats
with a light on top. We stood looking down on
(12:22):
the catacombs, searching for the iron peg ladder we all
knew was there. Finally Clive found it, though the first
peg was so far down he nearly slipped good gravy.
This idiot was going to kill himself. I didn't think
much of Courtney when she told Clive to grow a
pair and climb down. Already, the plan was for Clive
(12:43):
to take some photos with his cell phone. After a
few minutes, we couldn't see the light on Clive's hat anymore.
Courtney kept yelling down to ask what he was seeing.
Mostly all we heard were grunts from Clive as he
struggled to find the next peg in the ladder. At
some point, Clive how that he'd reached the bottom. Courtney
wanted to know if he saw any dead bodies, Like
(13:05):
Clive wouldn't have let us know about something like that. Courtney,
obnoxious as ever, demanded that Brandon go down there and
make sure Clive didn't overlook anything. Don't do it, Brandon,
I said, you promised, Blue. Courtney told him not to
be a whimp and do it already. This really steamed
my broccoli. If it's so easy, Courtney, why don't you
(13:27):
go down yourself? To my surprise, Sissy agreed. Never want
to refuse a dare. Courtney climbed in and started a
shaky descent. She was using her cellphone to light the way.
Every few feet, she'd stop and take a picture, hanging
onto the metal peg with just one hand. Where did
Brandon find this Einstein? A few minutes later, we could
(13:51):
hear Courtney and Clive having a discussion from the bottom
of the catacombs. Their voices sent up echoes that made
me nervous. Brandon must have felt the same way, because
he kept urging them to come back up, just to
get inside Brandon's head. Courtney took her time returning to
the top of the ridge. The temperature felt like one
hundred degrees. We crowded into the shade of a small
(14:14):
tree to look at the photos Clive and Courtney had taken.
They were so dark I could hardly tell what I
was looking at. I nearly jumped out of my skin
when a voice boomed, what are you kids doing here?
I was just about to bolt from my spot under
the tree when Clive said something like, how do uncle Boyd?
I got the feeling it wasn't a close relationship, because
(14:36):
Boyd said we should get before he told our mamas
what we were up to, like mine would even care.
Clive dropped us off at Legacy Grove. Despite being gone
for a few hours, we were still able to get
quite a bit of yard work done. I was thinking, whew,
glad we escaped that disaster. Then I saw the pictures
(14:56):
on Facebook. That night, I called Danica, but she wouldn't answer.
I hardly ate anything At dinner. Everything tasted like recycled cardboard, which,
knowing Nadine it likely was. I tried calling Danica a
few more times, and even sent an email in case
all of the phones at her house were broken and
she somehow didn't get my messages. Brandon's dad skyped him
(15:19):
that night, a move that initially sent him into a
cold sweat. Was it possible he found out we were
on Granite Ridge. I couldn't take any more bad news,
so I slunk into the TV room to zone out.
I was watching an episode of The Simpsons that I'd
seen a million times when I heard Brandon whooping. Doctor
Spinkle was calling with news Brandon already had. He was
(15:42):
going to be a big brother again. Brandon's dad must
have had a change of heart, because he was all
excited that Blue was pregnant. I should have been glad
for Brandon, but I wasn't in the mood for this
sort of happy horseshit. I guess everyone gets a good
ending except me. Brandon scored the girl he wanted, his
dad was flying high over the news he was having
(16:02):
another kid, and there was no more divorce talk in
the Spinkle family. I felt like a schlep for resenting
them so much. I moped around Gecko's coach the next day, too,
bummed to do anything. When the Polygamust ladies finished work
that afternoon, Nadine called me into the kitchen. I really
wasn't up for a cooking lesson. Nadine told me to
(16:23):
spill it, so I did. While I didn't mention where
the pictures of me and Sissy were taken, I told
Nadine they were destroying my upcoming date with Danica. I
was amazed when Nadine suggested that we make Danica a cake,
and not just any kind. We made the pumpkin spice
cake that Blue had for her wedding. I was surprised
because Nadine said she didn't want to be a pusher
(16:46):
of diabetic items, yet here she was helping me bake
a cake for Danica. For the second week in a row,
I got called in for a Thursday shift at a
Taste of Heaven Bakery. Nadine drove me to Navel before
the sun was up, so there wasn't any place for
Brandon to catnap until the library opened. I envied him
peacefully snoozing in his air conditioned room at Gecko's Gulch.
(17:10):
I planned to bring the cake over to Danica's house
during my lunch break. I wanted to catch her before
she went to work at the pool. We were busy
all morning at the bakery. I was afraid i'd miss
Danica and be stuck with that cake. I sure the
heck didn't want to drop it off with her mother. Frustrated,
I slammed around the shop angrily, emptying trash cans and
(17:32):
muttering under my breath about all the sticky goop I
had to wipe up. Then I felt a hand on
my shoulder. Certain it was my boss telling me to
take a chill pill, I dropped the bag of garbage
I was tying up, irked that I was in for
a scolding. The hand didn't belong to my boss. It
was my mom's. What I thought she was unavailable this summer.
(17:54):
I was so shocked I couldn't even say hello. Mom
threw her bow arms around me, hugging me and kissing
the top of my head. I didn't realize I was
crying until she stood back to take a good look
at me. I had changed over the summer, thanks to Randall.
I no longer came across looking like a government bureaucrat.
(18:15):
Mom ran her hands over my spiky doo telling me
she loved it. My boss came over and introduced herself,
offering Mom a glass of milk and a warm croissant,
even though it has a zillion calories. Mom actually took
a few bites as I sat across from her in
the booth. She wanted to know all about my job
and whether I was helping in the kitchen at the bakery.
(18:36):
That's when I remember Danica's cake bolting up. I begged
my boss to let me take an early lunch. Mom
drove me to Danica's house. Together. We walked to the
front door. Missus Craton answered and invited us in. I
sat on the couch with the cake box balanced on
my knees. They were shaking, either from fear or from
the joy of being with my mom again. Danica came
(18:59):
downstairs in her lifeguard uniform. She looked confused when she
saw the three of us sitting in her living room.
I stood up and handed her the box. Danica, I said,
I made this for you. Wow, Could I be any lamer?
Danica took the box and opened it. It's Nadine's secret
(19:19):
pumpkin spice cake. Okay, apparently I could say dumber stuff.
The double date was back on. We strung lights in
the courtyard and set out a bunch of battery operated candles.
I wanted real ones, but Mom was afraid we'd burn
the place down. We covered the patio table with a
white linen cloth. In the center, we had a beautiful
(19:42):
arrangement of wildflowers. Not wanting another Bellaedona catastrophe, we ordered
them from Heaven Sent Floral. I had a small seizure
when the girls were brought into the courtyard. For once
Danica's hair was down. It was curled in long loops,
which I thought made her the most beautiful girl in
the world. She was even wearing a dress. Danica didn't
(20:06):
show nearly the amount of leg Courtney did, but I
couldn't take my eyes off her because I was slammed
for time. I planned a fairly simple menu. Fresh shrimp
with homemade cocktail sauce for an appetizer, followed by an
end dive in cucumber salad. For the main entree, I
prepared grilled pork chops with a spicy, plump sauce. Dessert
(20:28):
was warm apple strudel. Not to bragg or anything, but
the whole meal was friggin' awesome. After we'd polished off
the last of the strudel, Courtney and Brandon went behind
the honeysuckle hedge to make out. I doubted anything like
that would ever be in the carts for me, at
least not tonight. I was lucky Danica even showed up.
(20:49):
Mom had given me a crash course on slow dancing,
something she assured me was a smooth move with girls.
I knew Danka was in the tank for John Mayer,
though I had Mom by one of his CDs while
she was in town picking up the groceries for our dinner.
I'd gotten used to the head banging rifts from the
rectal surgeons, but tonight John Mayer was just what those
(21:12):
doctors would have ordered. I stood up and offered Danica
my hand. I was nervous as hell. Somehow I managed
to put my arm around Danica's waist. Slowly we began
to dance. I'd been staring at Danica all night like
a total fitdiot, but suddenly I couldn't look at her
(21:33):
at all. Then she said my name, almost in a whisper.
I looked up, our eyes locked. It seemed as if
time had stopped. My mouth was so dry it felt
like I had eaten a sheet of sandpaper. My entire
body was trembling. God, why am I such a knob chop?
(21:54):
I was blowing the whole deal. Danica moved closer to
my complete shot. She kissed me, and not just the
little party peck either. I knew my life was never
gonna be the same again.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
What happens when cats and ghosts collide? Find out and
Quirky Cat gets ghosted by Adele Park. This quirky tail
is narrated by the ever so snarky Skitter's the cat
Skidders finds himself in the most unfortunate position of having
to help his nemesis, Blue McKenna go to Heaven, hell,
(22:30):
or somewhere other than where he is, Otherwise Blue will
continue to bug Skitterers as much in depth as she
did in life. Quirky Cat gets ghosted as a frightfully
fun prance through the desert. Quirky Cat Gets Ghosted, Get
Ghosted today on Audible, Downpour and Spotify.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Meow Kiddies, Let's Talk Pets every week on demand only
on Petlife Radio dot cog Com
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