January 11, 2024 • 15 mins
We generally feel that unconditional love is reserved for animals and divinity. How do we, as humans, experience unconditional love? How can we, humans, get out of the loop of conditional love? Listen on to fine out my take on the matter...
On another note, I would like to apologize to my listeners for the almost one month absence from this podcast. Believe me, it was not at all intentional, but sometimes glitches occur that derail us from our course, and in this case the glitch was purely technical, meaning that my laptop decided to die on me... so it took me a while to get back on track, especially with the holiday season and all... In all cases, I hope that you will enjoy this episode and all the following ones, too!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello there and welcome to Casual Fridays by I Read Aloud.
(00:04):
I am your host Dada and this podcast is part of my I Read Aloud channel on YouTube, where
I read fairy tales, short stories, children's stories, poetry, some Arabic texts, letters
and other excerpts.
So if you like such content, make sure to subscribe.
You'll find me on YouTube in the search box under at I Read Aloud.
(00:28):
You can also find me on Instagram, TikTok and X also under at I Read Aloud.
I also want you to know that this podcast airs every Friday on the following platforms,
YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Google Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Samsung Podcasts,
Podcasts, Index, Shows & Notes, RSS and Spotify.
(00:49):
Today's episode is on unconditional love.
And I will start by discussing what we believe unconditional love is.
And then I will go on to talk about how humans can tap into unconditional love.
And then I will discuss conditional love and how humans use a lot of that.
(01:09):
And I will end by giving my version and my belief of what unconditional love is and how
it can be actually lived and experienced by humans.
We usually tend to think of unconditional love a lot when it comes to animals, especially
(01:31):
our pets.
And we always talk about how dogs especially can show us unconditional love all the time
because whenever we leave them even if it is for a few minutes and come back to them,
they are extremely happy to see us.
They jump all around, they could do the zoomies and they show us so much love at our departure
(01:54):
and return that we feel that unconditional love is what they give us.
And I'm sure many of you have seen different videos by now of lions and wolves who are
in the wild and raised by certain people, certain humans.
And how even after a period of separation when the humans go back to meet or to see
(02:20):
or visit these wild animals, the animals remember them and they run towards them and they cuddle
with them and they're so happy to see them.
And that's also unconditional love.
And actually I didn't expect this to also be shown by elephants.
I saw a video recently of a caretaker of elephants who got separated from the elephants for a
(02:47):
few years.
And at one point he stands in this shallow river and he's calling to them and speaking
to them in his language and the way he would speak to them, you know, when he was working
with them and an amazing sight of several elephants running towards him down the river.
(03:09):
It's a sight to see and it's a bit scary because you think it's going to get crushed, but he
doesn't.
And there are like four or five elephants around him just waiting their turn to be petted
and their trunks are all over, you know, brushing against him and just lovingly doting over
him.
(03:29):
And of course we see this as unconditional love.
And so we tend to see unconditional love as, you know, love given to us by animals because
animals do not want anything from us.
They don't request anything from us.
The only thing they ask of us is our love.
And that is why we find that their love for us is totally unconditional because in the
(03:55):
end our love for them tends to be unconditional as well.
There are also many people who believe in God and the existence of divinity, of divine
power and of course divinity could come under different names, in different religions and
cultures.
And so many people believe that unconditional love is reserved for divinity and people who
(04:21):
are martyrs for humanity, such as Mother Teresa, for example.
But for people who do believe in the presence of divinity, they definitely can feel this
unconditional love through prayer and meditation, except that if they really tap into it, it
(04:42):
can really be overwhelming.
We human beings live in a physical body and the physical body has its limitations.
And if you believe the dichotomy of soul and body, no matter how much your soul can soar
and try to unite with the divine, you know, and of course there are many practices that,
(05:06):
you know, show that this is possible.
But in the end, this soul is attached to the human body, this physical body that has its
limitations.
So at some point, the unification with God becomes too intense for the physical body.
And I believe this is the reason we cannot really feel this divine unconditional love
(05:31):
to its fullest, to its maximum, if you will.
We can maybe reach a spark of it, a ray of it, but that's at least my belief that we
cannot really totally averse in it because of our physical body and our existence in
this world.
It is so physical as well.
But if unconditional love is not an easy task for humans, and I'm sure, you know, not all
(05:59):
the humans are going to practice, you know, unification with God through meditation and
different practices and prayer.
And let's say 90%, I'm just like saying it, majority, let's say, but I'm sure at least
90% of humans don't even think of, you know, trying to experience unconditional love in
(06:21):
their physical states.
But that does not mean that we tap into conditional love instead.
And I see this as a major, major fault in the existence of humans, that we make our
love for others conditional.
Parents do it to their children.
(06:42):
They don't mean to most of the time, but they do it a lot when you give the impression to
your child intentionally or unintentionally that I will love you unconditioned.
I will love you if.
So I will love you if you get good grades.
(07:03):
I will love you if you lose weight.
I will love you if you do this operation and I don't know, fix your leg.
Let's say if the child is a cripple, I will love you if you will go and, you know, do
treatment for your skin to get rid of your pimples.
(07:24):
I will love you if you will take care of me.
And many cases, of course, you know, parents and children reverse roles and children become
the caretakers of the parents and some of the parents take care of the children.
I will love you if you become ballerina.
I will love you if you start to be a lawyer.
(07:46):
And so parents, without intending too many times, put conditions on their love for their
children.
They have to be aware of that and to really stop doing that and to, from time to time,
just speak clear to their children and tell them, hey, I love you.
(08:06):
I may ask a lot of you.
I may ask you to achieve a lot, but it's only because I love you.
I want the best for you.
Maybe I haven't had the opportunity or the opportunities that you have in your life and
I want what's best for you.
And of course, definitely communication on this matter is so important between parents
(08:29):
and children to erase any vestiges and residues of conditioned love.
I'm focusing a lot on conditioned love between parents and children because it is the most
damaging and the most wounding for children.
And it affects their lives, of course, throughout, even as adults.
(08:51):
It reigns with them throughout their whole lives until they face this wound and clear
it and deal with it and heal it.
Conditional love could also exist definitely between married people.
Spouses could put pressure on each other in many aspects, again, knowingly or unknowingly.
(09:15):
And this creates unhealthy patterns in the relationship.
So if a spouse feels that he or she will only be loved if they provide for the family for
example, they might feel at some point that their only role is a bank account or just
(09:36):
a money machine.
And you can imagine how this could have a lot of detriment on the relationship.
A spouse might feel that their only role is caretaking, that all they do is take care
of the house and the kids and the spouse and everyone around them and their families.
(09:56):
And they feel their lives are just, you know, therefore serving others and they feel that
this is what's expected of them.
And they get lost in this role and it's also conditioned love because they feel if they
don't do this, they will not be loved by their spouse, maybe even their families.
And you could definitely have conditional love between friends and with any other family
(10:20):
member or acquaintance, definitely.
So how do we get out of this loop of conditional love that we exercise most of the time unbeknownst
to ourselves?
I can only think of one answer, one solution, one way out.
(10:40):
And that is having zero judgment of others.
When you stop judging people and putting expectations on them, you erase or eradicate conditional
love and you bring in a lot of unconditional love into the equation.
(11:02):
And you'll be thinking by now, how can I not judge my ex-husband or ex-wife, for example?
How can I not judge, you know, my parent for hurting me and wounding me for so many years?
The first step is to try and walk in their shoes, see it from their perspective, seeing
(11:27):
their wounding and where they're coming from and why they behaved in that manner.
So it's about understanding the other.
Second thing you can do, and that's difficult, but you have to try and forgive as much as
possible.
Maybe you can't forget everything, but at least try and bring forgiveness into the situation,
at least 50% of forgiveness.
(11:49):
You know, I can tell you that, of course, I've had many, many experiences in my life
where, you know, I've had conditional love.
And my way of dealing with it is that whenever I drown in the pain of the memories, because
of course, no matter how much you try to reconcile the situation, sometimes you just hit hard,
(12:14):
you know, and your wounds open up and you drown in the pain and in the misery and the
judgment, in all of it, you know, and you feel like there's no way out, you're just
drowning and spiraling.
And despite the difficulty, after a while, I just, you know, wanted to stop and I start
(12:40):
thinking, okay, I need to find love in my heart and send this person love.
And it's not easy, I'm telling you, it takes a lot of willpower and a lot of time.
And maybe the first time I tried doing that, it took me days.
(13:04):
Now it could take me a couple of hours.
So it's a lot of practice, but you know, a couple of hours are still a lot.
I hope to reach a stage where I can do it in 10 minutes.
But at least now, I could spare it for two hours and then, you know, try and go through
(13:24):
steps of remembering why they behaved like that, understand their perspective, remembering
that I need to forgive them and I forgive them again and again and again.
And then I decide, okay, now it's time to send them some love.
And of course, a bit of prayer helps, some meditation helps.
(13:45):
And when you choose to love instead of judge, you really, really are able to overcome this.
Little by little, you will get there.
And you know how people say you should love your worst enemy?
I mean, wow, your worst enemy.
(14:06):
That is really so hard to do.
But let me give you this example.
You see your worst enemy or someone who represents your worst enemy, whether from a different
sect, a different religion, a different culture, I don't know.
And you see this person stuck in a burning car.
(14:27):
Do you leave them to die or do you go and try and save them?
When you are able to respond by saying that you will try and save them, you are taking
a step closer to unconditional love.
I will end my episode on that thought.
And I wish you all to experience unconditional love as much as humanly possible and physically
(14:49):
possible.
Next week's topic shall be on adoption.
I hope you'll tune in then.
For now, I wish you a lovely weekend and I send you all my love.
Till next Friday.
Hello there and welcome to Casual Fridays by I Read Aloud.
(00:04):
I am your host Dada and this podcast is part of my I Read Aloud channel on YouTube, where
I read fairy tales, short stories, children's stories, poetry, some Arabic texts, letters
and other excerpts.
So if you like such content, make sure to subscribe.
You'll find me on YouTube in the search box under at I Read Aloud.
(00:28):
You can also find me on Instagram, TikTok and X also under at I Read Aloud.
I also want you to know that this podcast airs every Friday on the following platforms,
YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Google Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Samsung Podcasts,
Podcasts, Index, Shows & Notes, RSS and Spotify.
(00:49):
Today's episode is on unconditional love.
And I will start by discussing what we believe unconditional love is.
And then I will go on to talk about how humans can tap into unconditional love.
And then I will discuss conditional love and how humans use a lot of that.
(01:09):
And I will end by giving my version and my belief of what unconditional love is and how
it can be actually lived and experienced by humans.
We usually tend to think of unconditional love a lot when it comes to animals, especially
(01:31):
our pets.
And we always talk about how dogs especially can show us unconditional love all the time
because whenever we leave them even if it is for a few minutes and come back to them,
they are extremely happy to see us.
They jump all around, they could do the zoomies and they show us so much love at our departure
(01:54):
and return that we feel that unconditional love is what they give us.
And I'm sure many of you have seen different videos by now of lions and wolves who are
in the wild and raised by certain people, certain humans.
And how even after a period of separation when the humans go back to meet or to see
(02:20):
or visit these wild animals, the animals remember them and they run towards them and they cuddle
with them and they're so happy to see them.
And that's also unconditional love.
And actually I didn't expect this to also be shown by elephants.
I saw a video recently of a caretaker of elephants who got separated from the elephants for a
(02:47):
few years.
And at one point he stands in this shallow river and he's calling to them and speaking
to them in his language and the way he would speak to them, you know, when he was working
with them and an amazing sight of several elephants running towards him down the river.
(03:09):
It's a sight to see and it's a bit scary because you think it's going to get crushed, but he
doesn't.
And there are like four or five elephants around him just waiting their turn to be petted
and their trunks are all over, you know, brushing against him and just lovingly doting over
him.
(03:29):
And of course we see this as unconditional love.
And so we tend to see unconditional love as, you know, love given to us by animals because
animals do not want anything from us.
They don't request anything from us.
The only thing they ask of us is our love.
And that is why we find that their love for us is totally unconditional because in the
(03:55):
end our love for them tends to be unconditional as well.
There are also many people who believe in God and the existence of divinity, of divine
power and of course divinity could come under different names, in different religions and
cultures.
And so many people believe that unconditional love is reserved for divinity and people who
(04:21):
are martyrs for humanity, such as Mother Teresa, for example.
But for people who do believe in the presence of divinity, they definitely can feel this
unconditional love through prayer and meditation, except that if they really tap into it, it
(04:42):
can really be overwhelming.
We human beings live in a physical body and the physical body has its limitations.
And if you believe the dichotomy of soul and body, no matter how much your soul can soar
and try to unite with the divine, you know, and of course there are many practices that,
(05:06):
you know, show that this is possible.
But in the end, this soul is attached to the human body, this physical body that has its
limitations.
So at some point, the unification with God becomes too intense for the physical body.
And I believe this is the reason we cannot really feel this divine unconditional love
(05:31):
to its fullest, to its maximum, if you will.
We can maybe reach a spark of it, a ray of it, but that's at least my belief that we
cannot really totally averse in it because of our physical body and our existence in
this world.
It is so physical as well.
But if unconditional love is not an easy task for humans, and I'm sure, you know, not all
(05:59):
the humans are going to practice, you know, unification with God through meditation and
different practices and prayer.
And let's say 90%, I'm just like saying it, majority, let's say, but I'm sure at least
90% of humans don't even think of, you know, trying to experience unconditional love in
(06:21):
their physical states.
But that does not mean that we tap into conditional love instead.
And I see this as a major, major fault in the existence of humans, that we make our
love for others conditional.
Parents do it to their children.
(06:42):
They don't mean to most of the time, but they do it a lot when you give the impression to
your child intentionally or unintentionally that I will love you unconditioned.
I will love you if.
So I will love you if you get good grades.
(07:03):
I will love you if you lose weight.
I will love you if you do this operation and I don't know, fix your leg.
Let's say if the child is a cripple, I will love you if you will go and, you know, do
treatment for your skin to get rid of your pimples.
(07:24):
I will love you if you will take care of me.
And many cases, of course, you know, parents and children reverse roles and children become
the caretakers of the parents and some of the parents take care of the children.
I will love you if you become ballerina.
I will love you if you start to be a lawyer.
(07:46):
And so parents, without intending too many times, put conditions on their love for their
children.
They have to be aware of that and to really stop doing that and to, from time to time,
just speak clear to their children and tell them, hey, I love you.
(08:06):
I may ask a lot of you.
I may ask you to achieve a lot, but it's only because I love you.
I want the best for you.
Maybe I haven't had the opportunity or the opportunities that you have in your life and
I want what's best for you.
And of course, definitely communication on this matter is so important between parents
(08:29):
and children to erase any vestiges and residues of conditioned love.
I'm focusing a lot on conditioned love between parents and children because it is the most
damaging and the most wounding for children.
And it affects their lives, of course, throughout, even as adults.
(08:51):
It reigns with them throughout their whole lives until they face this wound and clear
it and deal with it and heal it.
Conditional love could also exist definitely between married people.
Spouses could put pressure on each other in many aspects, again, knowingly or unknowingly.
(09:15):
And this creates unhealthy patterns in the relationship.
So if a spouse feels that he or she will only be loved if they provide for the family for
example, they might feel at some point that their only role is a bank account or just
(09:36):
a money machine.
And you can imagine how this could have a lot of detriment on the relationship.
A spouse might feel that their only role is caretaking, that all they do is take care
of the house and the kids and the spouse and everyone around them and their families.
(09:56):
And they feel their lives are just, you know, therefore serving others and they feel that
this is what's expected of them.
And they get lost in this role and it's also conditioned love because they feel if they
don't do this, they will not be loved by their spouse, maybe even their families.
And you could definitely have conditional love between friends and with any other family
(10:20):
member or acquaintance, definitely.
So how do we get out of this loop of conditional love that we exercise most of the time unbeknownst
to ourselves?
I can only think of one answer, one solution, one way out.
(10:40):
And that is having zero judgment of others.
When you stop judging people and putting expectations on them, you erase or eradicate conditional
love and you bring in a lot of unconditional love into the equation.
(11:02):
And you'll be thinking by now, how can I not judge my ex-husband or ex-wife, for example?
How can I not judge, you know, my parent for hurting me and wounding me for so many years?
The first step is to try and walk in their shoes, see it from their perspective, seeing
(11:27):
their wounding and where they're coming from and why they behaved in that manner.
So it's about understanding the other.
Second thing you can do, and that's difficult, but you have to try and forgive as much as
possible.
Maybe you can't forget everything, but at least try and bring forgiveness into the situation,
at least 50% of forgiveness.
(11:49):
You know, I can tell you that, of course, I've had many, many experiences in my life
where, you know, I've had conditional love.
And my way of dealing with it is that whenever I drown in the pain of the memories, because
of course, no matter how much you try to reconcile the situation, sometimes you just hit hard,
(12:14):
you know, and your wounds open up and you drown in the pain and in the misery and the
judgment, in all of it, you know, and you feel like there's no way out, you're just
drowning and spiraling.
And despite the difficulty, after a while, I just, you know, wanted to stop and I start
(12:40):
thinking, okay, I need to find love in my heart and send this person love.
And it's not easy, I'm telling you, it takes a lot of willpower and a lot of time.
And maybe the first time I tried doing that, it took me days.
(13:04):
Now it could take me a couple of hours.
So it's a lot of practice, but you know, a couple of hours are still a lot.
I hope to reach a stage where I can do it in 10 minutes.
But at least now, I could spare it for two hours and then, you know, try and go through
(13:24):
steps of remembering why they behaved like that, understand their perspective, remembering
that I need to forgive them and I forgive them again and again and again.
And then I decide, okay, now it's time to send them some love.
And of course, a bit of prayer helps, some meditation helps.
(13:45):
And when you choose to love instead of judge, you really, really are able to overcome this.
Little by little, you will get there.
And you know how people say you should love your worst enemy?
I mean, wow, your worst enemy.
(14:06):
That is really so hard to do.
But let me give you this example.
You see your worst enemy or someone who represents your worst enemy, whether from a different
sect, a different religion, a different culture, I don't know.
And you see this person stuck in a burning car.
(14:27):
Do you leave them to die or do you go and try and save them?
When you are able to respond by saying that you will try and save them, you are taking
a step closer to unconditional love.
I will end my episode on that thought.
And I wish you all to experience unconditional love as much as humanly possible and physically
(14:49):
possible.
Next week's topic shall be on adoption.
I hope you'll tune in then.
For now, I wish you a lovely weekend and I send you all my love.
Till next Friday.
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