Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I'm going to give this episode about 5 more minutes till I call
it. Please, please do it.
Do it, but the love of God, do it.
Here are the mean exit surveys. Is there a way to skip really?
(00:23):
Please stop the farting now. As a band, how does the National
go in to a recording process? What, like create funk cock,
funk cock? When Chekhov saw the long
(00:47):
winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope.
Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of
life. But standing here among the
people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their
hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a
(01:07):
long and lustrous winter from Punxsutawney.
It's quitters never give up. Go ahead.
Repping for all of quitters Never give up check off
Christopher. Check off Jen Pastorini.
Check off Lindsay. Hello, Drew.
The great Ed Wynn, ladies and gentlemen.
I love him so much because I said quitters never give up and
(01:28):
he said that's all they do. Now it's time for perhaps the
least anticipated match in the history of Smackdown.
The irritating force meets the unlikable object in a match no
one asked for. Unfortunately, there must be a
winner, but thankfully there will be a loser.
(01:50):
All our party people it is quitters never give up episode
179 yes, I found the song on theInternet.
I think it's the Best Song Ever recorded.
I hope you enjoy, but let's go ahead and start introducing the
quitters. Let's go ahead and say who?
(02:12):
Who's the first one here? We got the.
Edwin Show The Edwin Show, the American variety show hosted by
Edwin. Yes, this is the Edwin Show.
Quitters never give up. Edwin is coming to us from his
phone. Thank you, Elon.
What's up, Edwin? You're muted.
(02:35):
Oh my gosh. You're muted, Eddie.
Jodi, I swear to God, this has never happened before.
It's me. It's me you're the problem with.
I said I did my Edwin impressionand it was so good.
Oh well. Oh well, we this is probably
going to go down as the jankiestepisode of all time.
(02:56):
Edwin is from his phone and Lindsay is from her car.
Hey Lindsay, I wish you didn't smoke weed.
How you doing, Lindsay? That would be a bad scenario all
(03:19):
the way around and hello. That is actually an anti drug
commercial where a dog comes up to a young girl named Lindsay
and says that to her. Find it for me.
Anyhow, let's say hello to Jen. I can't speak for Jennifer
because I was so up my own ass. I'm like whatever you grab or
(03:39):
whatever the fuck. I ain't doing Jen.
I party, people are doing good. Awesome.
And I'm Christopher. Christopher.
I'm Miss Piggy you. Were wonderful.
I was Miss Piggy clip. I love that.
And today we have a special guest, we have Jodi.
Jodi, is that you? Hello.
(04:02):
Hello, Jodi, is that you? Oh.
My God, yes, they woke me up. When I found out you were gonna
be on, I had to find a Jodie clip and best one was to go back
to the podcast where you contested.
Thank you for choosing that one.Not that I said that dolphins
(04:23):
can fly. Yeah, that was a classic one.
That was awesome, man. OK, Jodie's here to talk about
the Singles party, right, Jodie?Yeah.
All right, why don't you give usa little bit about what's going
to happen with the Singles Party?
(04:45):
Well, it's inspired by so many of us teabaggers and quitter
never give up people that are either single or divorced and
they want something to do. So in Kevin Bean fashion, we're
going to have a janky singles party on Valentine's Day.
Nice Valentine's, how do? How do we get the directions and
(05:09):
information on it? I'm on Facebook and IG I'll I'll
spell it out. I'm Jodi K0 0PY OK OTA and then
I'll go ahead and send the address or if you want to write
it down right now it's 3456 Garnett St. 9O5O3 and it starts
(05:35):
at 17 O 9. And what's that in military
time? That is military.
Time, I know, but that's all right.
I pulled the call that you made to cover to get a chat, so maybe
we'll listen to that too. OK, on the crowd cast last
night, we did talk about the upcoming cup of tea in a chat
(05:57):
singles party that Ali and I have no involvement with
whatsoever and are not endorsing.
But Jodi, who is one of the people the organizers of this
event, called in and left a message with some of the
details. Would you like to hear that?
Sure. Hi Ali and vegan it's Jodi from
Torrance. Just like to extend the
invitation that a handful of us tea baggers or having a singles
(06:18):
party on Valentine's Day, Friday, February 14, starting at
17 O 9. There's a hot tub, so make sure
you bring your suits if you want.
It's $10. Pizza and wings are included.
Please bring drinks to share andif they DM me, I'll go ahead and
give them the address. It's going to be in Torrance.
(06:39):
You they can find me on Facebookand IGJODIKOOP Y OK OTA and
hopefully some of them are goingto be singing Who's going to
drive you home tonight? I don't know anything else about
that party other than what Judy has just told us, but the fact
(07:01):
that she LED with a hot tub gives me an idea of the kind of
party she is hoping it will be. Yeah, and then who's going to
drive you home? She means who's going to do you
in the butt? What?
No, that's not what she meant at.
All Oh, I thought that's what she no.
Go to the Cup of Tea in a chat Facebook page for some more
details as I understand it. I I don't know if the butt stuff
(07:21):
is involved. It's.
Not mandatory, but I want to saythat I love that both when you
promoted it just now and on a cup of tea in a chat, you
changed your voice to be like a radio voice.
It was just really sweet and silky.
Yeah. Yeah, I do love your radio
voice, Johnny. Oh, thank you.
(07:43):
No. Yeah, but Bean did say they are
not responsible if anybody fallspregnant that night.
Yeah, it's true. Yeah.
But they'll take credit for it at other times they have nothing
to do with. It also babies come out of the
butt. Is that that true?
(08:04):
And so it's $10 too, right? Because you're providing food
and then everybody brings their own alcohol, yes.
Yes. And then, yeah, bring your suit,
you know, if you want to go in the hot tub or pool.
Nice, very nice. Edwin has a question.
You do have to sign an NDA, right?
Ha. Ha ha, ha ha.
(08:26):
Only you, Edwin. Yeah, this is not AP Diddy.
Party. Yeah.
Is Hooter Helen gonna be there? Oh, I invited her.
Edwin's Dreaming. Well, I wish I could go.
You can go. I can't go.
Jeff Flores was asking. And because I own my own pet
(08:49):
shop and my one employee just had a knee replacement, so
someone's got to hold down the Fort.
We get it, Jen. You want to promote your pet
shop, we got it. Dusty's den.com.
Also I want to say the call clipdid not had sirens in it.
They were not from my house, which you normally hear sirens
(09:10):
at my house when we record. Those were Jodie's.
She provided them. She was, I believe she was about
to get raided. I think that's what's happening.
Oh my gosh. And Edwin's remake.
Edwin did share with us a remakethat he.
I think you should only call thesirens in the background from
now on. Guys throw me off when I'm
(09:32):
listening in my heart. We'll, we'll definitely call
from the party and they will probably be sirens playing at
the party, I'm pretty sure. All right, let's go over to the
flashback. Hello and welcome to a very
special. Flashback.
Because I'm going to introduce you now flashbacks.
And now flashbacks. Let's have a look at this.
(10:00):
Play the intro as rumors continue swirling that America's
newest multi millionaire is a 26year old woman.
Sweet. How much?
How much was that lottery? Well, after taxes, Kevin, the
ticket that was sold in Zephyrhills, FL for the
Powerball jackpot on Saturday isgoing to be only $376.9 million.
(10:24):
Taxes after tax. What good can a person from
Florida ever do with that much money?
What can come from that? Should we just say, sorry, she's
26 year old, How many teeth doesshe have?
She's very lucky. She lives in Florida, by the
way, because there's no state income tax in Florida.
So she's making a lot more moneythan, you know, if you'd won,
for instance. But 376.9 million dollars, it
(10:49):
just happened. She hasn't come forward yet.
But Florida, we were talking about this off year yesterday.
Florida is one of the states that you are not allowed to be
anonymous if you win the jackpot.
Some states don't make you come forward in Florida.
That's part of the deal. That's the fine print on the
back of the ticket is we get to use your name and like this for
publicity to accept the check inthe nude in the nude right,
exactly. So assuming by the way that I
(11:11):
mean I don't know where this 26 year old woman rumor came from.
So let's assume for a minute that the woman that it's true
and she is aware that she's won the ticket.
This is a person her and I want her to be my wife Yeah, I love
her too. I loved her before you did.
I'll tell you that other people.Love her.
What's she doing right now is myquestion to you changing her
phone numbers? Yes.
Ralph I never want to see that again.
(11:32):
Changing her phone numbers and moving probably.
I don't know why she do. Why is she moving?
She is ending whatever relationship she's in right now
with whatever dirtbag meth addict she's dating.
Because I think you would want to get rid of a lot of people in
your life. I see I got you.
And the ones that you don't wantto get rid of, of course you can
always contact and know where you are, but everybody else you
(11:52):
want to. Just and you don't want the
media tracking you down. No.
OK. I spent 10 hours Saturday at the
Weenie Roast talking about what he would do if he went to us,
how he would go about it. I would never even talk to you
guys again. I'd disappear, but you guys
would probably want me to do an interview on the radio.
So I'd probably come back and just talk to you and do a radio
interview. And then I would leave again
after I did the radio interview.Oh, did I?
(12:13):
Did I agree to do what I thought?
What happened was, Ralph, I saidI would disappear, but you guys
would probably want to talk to me about what it's like to to
have $500 million, right. And then you jumped in and said,
no, we actually wouldn't. I said the only outside for us
would be if you disappeared, that we wouldn't have to talk to
you anymore. So why would but then pursue it
and try to get to talk to you again because you said maybe
he'd toss us a mill or two. I said yeah, I'd talk to you if
(12:34):
there was some money, right? That was the key.
Then we said it'll be generous and give us, you know, a mill
each or something. Then we when we doing it because
what's it to you at that point? What's it to you?
You got 307 freaking organs to strangers.
You can cut off $1,000,000 for some people you worked with for
20 years. I think because you have been so
nice to me, right? The, the, the reason the
Powerball continues to, to, to balloon in the numbers that it
(12:57):
does is because everybody has the dream of, of being rich.
And it's, it's super fun to think about what you do.
Like, I'm one of these people who doesn't need to work in, in
terms of, I don't need to work to be happy to sustain myself.
There are other people who say Iwould hate it if I didn't have a
job. I got to have something to get
up and do in the morning. I, I would, if not keep this
job, I would get some other job.How about you guys?
Where do you come down on that? I would have to do something or
(13:17):
I would end up killing myself. I'd go to Vegas, and I'd just
stay there until I died. What Could you possibly do this?
I would. So do you think you'd still do a
radio show, Kevin? I'd come in for about an hour a
day, you know, like from 9:00 to10:00, maybe.
I don't know. Getting up does suck, do you
(13:38):
think? All right, let me just flat out
ask. If you won this Powerball, would
you keep this job? No.
What job? I'm with Ralph now.
What job would you do you think you could get?
I don't know. I don't know.
But if I don't stay busy 11 shift.
I'm just saying I know myself well enough that if I didn't
stay busy doing something, it would go poorly for me like it
(13:59):
does a lot of people. Who Then what would you do?
I don't have the answer to that.But how would you give it up?
Your thoughts? You know, I have your life.
Who spends their whole life trying to figure out what
they're going to do if they win the lottery?
No, but you buy powerful tickets, something you've always
wanted to do that you would do. I love this job.
It's 5 minutes thinking about your life.
It's ridiculous that I have thisjob.
So I'm not looking. You're going to do this job
(14:19):
then. I don't know.
If I had $300 million, oh, JesusChrist, I would.
You love this job so much you'd never give it up.
And you would give it up. And I'm tired of you yelling at
me. All right?
That's the problem. At least this job, I would keep
this job. I would never want to give it
up. So if you won the lottery, would
you give it? No, I would not give it up.
(14:40):
I'm going to do what I want to do.
What do you do? It's weird to drive the potted
bus. It's weird that rich Kevin is
more confusing than poor Kevin. I don't understand what I do.
Ralph. I would.
I would quit this job immediately.
Right. Would you Would you ever come in
to do a follow up exit interview?
No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't even come in and
say, hey, it was fun. I was saying goodbye to the
(15:01):
listers. Have the opportunity to, you
know, I can tell you what I decided I would hire a staff
whose entire job description would be just to keep you people
away from me. Not even a phone call.
You wouldn't even let us interview you about winning the
lottery just so you can rub it in.
All right, So this job's out. You wouldn't have even come in
on Monday because you would havefound out Saturday night that
(15:22):
you won. Venwal, What do you do with the
rest of your life? Immediately start my own
production company. I'm gonna start making movies
or, or TV, TV projects or, or documentaries or anything that
caught my fans. And then two years later, when
your money's gone, when you comeback, here's the thing that you
don't have to lose money when you produce stuff.
I mean, you could do small independent films.
You know how many movies you cando for $300 million?
How many small movies you could do?
(15:43):
How many $1,000,000 movies you could do for $300 million?
No, 300 of them. So that would be that'd be
great. Then for you, that you you'd be
great candidate. Then find stuff that I wanted to
act in or direct or produce something.
It would be a dream. It would just be the perfect
situation. I should have won this money.
Same. I guess I got to ask both of you
(16:04):
guys. Same wife.
Oh, hell yeah. Of course.
Really. Well, yeah, she got.
Oh, you upgrade that. What am I going to do?
You upgrade if you cut my money in half.
OK, I'm an idiot. All right?
Lisa Main, what? What do you do?
You quit the job immediately, ofcourse.
And what you said, you don't have to work.
What do you do? I honestly, I don't have enough
(16:26):
time in the day now to entertainmyself in the ways I'd like to.
Watching things, reading things,writing things.
I just, you'd watch things and read things.
I would, I honestly, I would just spend my time entertaining
myself. I'd want traveling.
I don't think I'd read things, do some traveling too, but I
would just entertain myself. Just, you know, spend my time on
YouTube. Probably he's really busy on
(16:47):
YouTube. I don't have all the time in the
day. I need to read and watch things.
Now. Dean tells us every day how busy
he is and then I am very busy. I have a very packed schedule.
Lisa May. Well, it's no surprise that I
would probably establish a foundation of some sorts for
some of my favorite charities. That would be my job is.
Why is she the only one of us who thought of charity hearing
(17:07):
that but she's lying but sucks. No, I thought I would.
You know I would, you guys. But we don't have to care about
the animals anymore once you're rich.
I would give all kinds of vasectomies to porcupines and I
would I would create a natural habitat where all the possums
could mate with butterflies and become flying.
(17:28):
That is what I would. Do do you?
You quit your job, obviously. I quit my job all.
Right. Do you stay?
Here's the important question, but I didn't even ask the
others, is do you stay in touch with any of us, and if so, who?
Oh, that's an easy answer for me.
No, Lisa, you're supposed to be nice.
(17:48):
No, And blame her. Why would you keep in touch with
any of us, Ralph? You wouldn't keep in touch with
any of us after 20. Years.
Once in a while. I would.
I would. I think it would be funny to fun
to party with Kevin with the money.
I would take Kevin to Vegas at least once.
We'd have to go. We'd have to go burn some of it
in Vegas with guys. And then what?
What would our special week could be?
(18:09):
You and me, Ralph. These headphones are cutting
out. I don't hear anything.
What's going on? Something's wrong with the well.
They always they always say thatpeople with money.
What is the old expression givenabout how it just amplifies
whatever your personality is, whatever you're like, right, So
you're an asshole. Whatever you are, it makes you
more. So yes, exactly right.
So I think I think that has beenproven.
(18:29):
Lisa is nicer if she's rich. I'm more gone if I'm rich.
Ralph is the classic more asshole if he's rich.
He's just confused. So I'm glad that we had this
confused, though I'm more confused than regular.
So that's good times. Oh shit, that was hilarious so.
That begs the question, what would you do if you won the
lottery? Bunch of hookers and cocaine.
(18:54):
Oh man, I just couldn't stop thinking of that clip when you
were playing. That Eddie, What would you do?
Get Internet OH. I would buy K Rock and then I
would hire Kevin a beanbag and everybody and I'd run K Rockets
at party all day. It'd be great.
(19:15):
And then you'd be the one to fire them again.
Well, if I want enough, I'd never have to worry about money.
Drew, I suppose. This business would make a
profit, but I'm just saying that'd be a lot of fun.
Yeah. Jody, what would you do?
Jody, OK. Lindsey, what would you do?
(19:39):
I really don't know. Like I feel like I would
continue to lead a really boringlife and maybe travel some more.
Oh, nice. I don't have any grand plans.
Yeah, it kind of depends on where you win it.
Like if you want it in a state where you had to make it public.
I think I would quit my job and find something else to do.
(20:01):
If I got to keep it private, I'dstill go to work, but I'd be a
really big asshole. I just I.
Wouldn't do shit, you know? And then I'd just travel, take
vacation, whenever the fuck I wanted.
Just be gone. Nice.
Jodi, are you able to talk now? Nope, her.
(20:26):
Picture goes away. I should buy a better laptop.
Oh no. Jankier than ever.
Alrighty, next one. Sorry, nothing ever goes my way,
but that what that's what makes my life interesting.
Definitely. So what would you do with you
(20:47):
win the lottery as you muted yourself again?
No, don't do that. Oh what I do, Oh I would totally
travel to all the Asian countries, have fun.
But of course half of it would go to investing, so that would
fund future adventures. Nice.
Nice. And, you know, I'm a little bit
(21:09):
known to go to shows and concerts, so I would have a lot
of those. Oh nice.
You'd start your own concert tour.
Actually, no, I would probably find a gig and being like
support staff just for fun and tour with them.
Like Dan Harper, he tours with bands all the time.
(21:31):
Oh, can I tell you guys something?
I asked him who was like the most surprising band that seems
nice but are total Dicks. He's all hands down Metallica.
Yeah, they are. They are notoriously not nice to
each other. Yeah, but he's on tour right
now. It's pretty cool.
He's always on tour, but now he's sick of it and he wants to
(21:53):
retire. OK, yeah, yeah.
I think there's a documentary onhow they treated Jason Newstead,
the bass player that replaced Cliff after he died, and they
were just total Dicks to that guy.
It sucked. But yeah, there you go.
Fun fact about Metallica. Fun fact.
(22:17):
OK, here we go. More politics and showbiz news
Little House on the Prairie * Melissa Gilbert will be running
for Congress as a Democrat in Michigan's 8th District, which
includes the state capitol, Lansing and Oakland, Ingham and
Livingston counties in Michigan.She and her husband apparently
lived there. I did not know that I'm running
(22:39):
for Congress to make life a little easier for the families
who feel they have fallen through the cracks in today's
economy. She said she used to make her
own clothes and they would turn their own butter and milk the
cows and like go down to the Olsen store, get some penny
candy and get get a Baltic fabric and go back and make her
own drapes. I remember that pretending to
live in the 1900s. So she knows about bad
(23:01):
economies. She knows what it's like to have
to pull yourself by your own bootstraps.
That wasn't real life for her father.
Murphy would stop by and help out, but for most part, she was
on her own, just her, she and her family.
Her sister went blind because the lack of value in healthcare.
She was a rich, she knows about that.
Who was acting in a television show.
She didn't live through any of. Is that what you described?
How hot was Mary's husband? How hot was Mary?
(23:22):
Right. Especially when she was blind.
Wait, wait, wait. Why was she hotter?
Because she was blind. Are blind girls hot?
There was something about that. Yeah.
Really pretty. Blind girls are hot because you
can do stuff that they don't know about.
How do they know about being? They're not.
(23:43):
They're not in a coma. No, I mean, what do you do?
Stuff that she doesn't know you're doing to her.
She's not numb, she's just blind.
The fun process is that I was just thinking, I don't know what
you were thinking. I was trying to figure out what
you were thinking. Well, you know what I wasn't
(24:04):
thinking They could do stuff to them that they wouldn't know you
were doing. No, I thought maybe you were
talking about like peeping them out or something like that.
What does that even mean? What is peeping out?
Is that a thing that you people do?
No, but I was thinking that maybe they were blind.
So like, you're watching them and they don't know you're
you're in the room and stuff like that.
I thought it was one of those. Wow, Ralph the creepy one was
(24:26):
talking about scam watching blind girls.
Come on. God, was it me?
I was never talking about watching blind girls.
I just. I didn't know.
I was asking. Blind girls are hot.
I was asking for Claire. Well, then you tell me why blind
girls are hot. That if it's not that because
they're beautiful and they're sexy, but they don't know how
beautiful and sexy they are because they can't see
themselves in the mirror and geta big head about it.
(24:47):
And you look at them when they don't know you're there.
No, that's not what I'm saying. So weird.
Damn it, Bean. No, that's a reasonable
assumption. That's what you meant,
Creepazoid, right? Wow, that went S so fast.
Yeah, it's a little creepy. It's.
Way creepy a lot. You can look at them when you're
(25:09):
in the room with them. They're asking what you were
saying. Peep them out is what.
Peep them out. That made-up of the expression
you think. I don't know any expression
after the 1900s Bean doesn't quite have a grasp on.
I can peep them out, see. You can take it down to the Pony
(25:35):
Express depot, pick up the mail,wait for the Wells Fargo wagon
to roll in and really hot blind girls can't judge you on your
looks. That's a good.
That's a good point. They have to just know what your
personality is like because that's how they judge you.
OK, You're not peeping them out.I didn't know.
(26:02):
OK, All right. It's time for us.
It's time for us to get out of this.
Can we start with people making noises?
(26:26):
Really, at long last, and we just reduced to this just a
random series of guttural noisescoming from people.
We're just hitting buttons. We're just hitting buttons.
It's the saddest day ever, right?
(26:46):
Today's celebrity birthdays. You dudes are legends, all
right. Yeah.
Rap rapper Asher Roth is 30 years old today.
Rapper Asher Roth is hard to say.
By the way, Chris Hemsworth is 32.
Actress on a gun, he's 47. Joe Rogan, UFC announcer,
comedian, actor extraordinaire. Hunter of Meaty eats, 48 years
(27:09):
old Viola Davis is 50. And wrestler Hulk Hogan
celebrates his 62nd birthday today.
I'm still saddened that he has been ostracized by his wrestling
community. But got to watch your mouth,
Hulkster. And by the way, for what it's
worth, what he said was horribleand offensive and should never
have been said. Right.
He said it in the privacy of hisown bedroom.
Well, don't say things. I think that's the moral story.
(27:32):
I I am a little uncomfortable with somebody saying something,
no matter how offensive, not in public, in private, that was
being recorded. And then you lose your whole
life, life, livelihood over that.
Yeah, but that's, that's that's the world in which we.
Well, before he spoke, he shouldhave checked to see if anybody
was peeping him out. It's a good point.
He should have made a good point.
Nobody was peeping him out. Sure he was.
(27:56):
I'm Ralph Garmin. I walk the show biz beat.
Thank you, Ralph. Do you know any Do you know any
blind girls, by the way, or is this just a fantasy thing for
you? When I for some reason,
throughout the Seventies, 80s and 90s, there was a spate of
telemovies about attractive women who lost their sight.
For some reason there was, it was like a recurring theme in a,
(28:18):
in a series of especially TV movies especially, but also
feature films like Ice Castles and things like that.
And I just remember growing up as a prepubescent boy and going
through puberty as well, that whenever there was an attractive
blind girl, I was thinking, well, there you go.
That's the good deal right there.
That's the best of all possible worlds.
Smoking hot blind girl doesn't know how hot she is, doesn't
know how ugly you are. It's magic.
(28:38):
It's kind of a troll. And she loves you for your
personality. That was my point.
Not. And then you could do things to
them. No.
All right. Hey, tomorrow, what an all new
Kevin Avisha. We're going to forget the
ugliness of this conversation even happens and do things to
them. I would like to talk to black
girls. I think that would be
interesting and. If I remember correctly there
(29:00):
were forget why they called in. This is probably like 2007 or 8
but two roommates that were blind that listened to K rock
and they called in for some reason.
I forget, probably because Ralphwanted to know how hot they
were. I don't know.
OK, I don't know, but it was funny.
I love it when Bean starts ripping on all the drops.
(29:24):
Wait, we got a message from Ralph.
He wants to know if there's gonna be any hot blind girls at
the singles party. Jodi, are they gonna be hot?
Hot blind girls? And Jody's still on mute, All
right. No, no, no, sorry, sorry.
No, I I'm paying attention. My my hand was busy.
(29:48):
I don't know if anybody's blind,but there's like every
demographic attending so far except for drag queen.
I think we're missing drag queen, but we have every other
demographic coming. Edwin plans on rectifying that.
There you go. I would almost do it for the
(30:12):
joke. All right, let's go back to
where? No, let's do.
What's the next clip, Jen? I'm done all.
Right. Let's go to Let's go to the
podcast roundup. Yes, Yes.
No, Maybe. Yes, please.
Where was your hand again? He didn't quit it.
(30:38):
You get it and. When you want her to pull out
your podcast. We got it, say.
Hello to Happy, goodbye to the blue janky.
Podcast. Burn Sickest.
Burn. All right, let's do the roundup.
(30:58):
Let's start off with this. I think it's a new show.
I mean, I'm not really sure if I've seen it come out a while.
It might be the first time I'm bringing it to everybody.
It's called Janky Town. Yeah, Never just popped up on my
feed. Someday for, you know, one day
(31:19):
for some reason. Anyhow, here's Dave, the King of
Mexico. Oh yeah, happy new year
jankstas. All right, it might be a little
too late for that being it's theend of the month and all, but
January was pretty crazy and busy and I can't wait to tell
(31:43):
you all about it. So let's get this shit started.
Jenks does the right way. So yeah, Dave was back.
It had been, I think, since December.
And the December episode wasn't even really a real episode.
He just played Christmas music and he wished us a happy New
year in February, just in time for Groundhog's Day.
So right on time. Perfect.
(32:05):
Excellent. That's just the way we expect.
Janky Town. Let's move over to Not Today,
the fires and the new app calledWatch Duty.
They claimed another victim. We all have that Watch Judy app
on our phones, right? Yes.
You guys don't know Watch Judy. It's this app that we all
downloaded in LA because it tells you where the fires are.
(32:26):
Yeah. It sends out alerts, It sends
out push notifications. It'll wake you up.
Yeah, out of a dead sleep. Any fire?
Any any fire, not just big firesin LA County.
Someone lights a match, that thing goes off.
Yeah. Betty, I, I I met somebody.
Yeah, thank you. And things were going really
(32:46):
well enough where, you know, we were, we were gonna.
You're you're, you're ordering Chinese food or whatever.
We are euphemism. You want to use.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were getting Uber Eats.
Yes, one of us was getting Uber.Eats.
Somebody was getting Uber Eats anyways.
(33:07):
And sure enough, when I say I lost it, oh.
My God, I just, I just stopped there.
You gotta be fucking kidding. Me, I lost.
My mind. So Jen Sturger could not
complete the deal because the Watch Fire app made her paranoid
(33:28):
about another fire coming aroundher neighborhood.
So thank you fire for destroyingher night.
Let's go over to HBO, Hollywood,Babylon.
They have this segment called Your town's got a fucked up
Name. And so wait, the car's going by.
Hold on. A lot of listeners were.
(33:48):
Notification. What?
Turn off your Facebook. Notation.
Is that me? Someone's sending me.
Someone's sending me all these notifications.
I wonder who it is. Oops, sorry.
The jankiest ever. Jankier than janky town.
(34:10):
Happy New Year, everybody. OK, so on Hollywood Babylon they
do. Your towns got a fucked up name.
Everybody's been sending Ralph in this town called Funkuck.
It's a town supposedly in England.
Let's take a look at the sign for that town, says Welcome to
Funkuck. Please pronounce it carefully.
(34:30):
Not not actually a town in England as much as I wanted to
be. Oh that's not true.
Funcock does not really exist. It is a it is manufactured and
so that's fuck it. I was broken hearted to find
that out. But I wanted to do a public
service announcement. Let people know.
Stop sending me pictures of Funcock because it's not a real
town. Oh man, a little magic came to
(34:53):
life for me and died in the sameinstance.
We need, we need to keep it real, you know what I'm saying?
I don't know it's the age of anything goes on the I know I
don't like alternative facts andfun cock just simply is not real
fun cock. But I am going to use that as my
favorite curse word forever and ever.
Fun cock. Fun cock.
Fun cock. This also led to to Kevin Smith
(35:16):
being very creative, you know, coming up with an idea for his
new sitcom. You say that on TV and get away
with it, Absolutely. What are they going to do?
I'm writing that fucking sitcom situation comedy yes, for NBC,
and I'll tell you right now, if we get picked up, funk Cuck is
going funk cuck. I mean, someone said cast Ralph.
(35:39):
Is that what I heard? Yeah, way I had a kid buy that
guy a drink, by the way. Everything.
Oh let me tell you as honestly the main reason I want it to
happen. Just so fucking I could cast
like everybody I know and you would be detective Funk cuck.
Mark my words. I'm manifesting this as the
(35:59):
fucking kids say on the Internetand shit.
I'm manifesting this sitcom local heroes to happen just so
we can hire Ralph as detective Fun cook.
Detective Fun Cook. It would be an upgrade from
Bobby, right? I think being a detective now.
Yeah, right. You got a promotion.
Yeah, maybe that was Bobby's last name.
Bobby Fun Cook. What was the when he played
(36:25):
officer? Somebody in NYPD.
Wasn't it Bobby? I forget the name of the
character. Gruden, Officer Gruden.
Is it Gruden? OK?
Yeah. That's better than I like, I
like Funkhuck better than Gruden.
And let's go over to the Ralph report.
Last we were discussing the NFC Championships and how Ralph was
(36:47):
gonna come back if the eagles won as basically an eagle.
He was just gonna get a whole species, change feathers, just
the whole deal. He didn't quite do that.
And it made me question because he really wasn't gloating.
He was more of a wreck. Let's hear him.
Congratulations. Best of luck in the Super.
(37:08):
Thank you very much. I'm I've got two weeks to be
desperately nervous. Oh.
Great. Well, it's, you know me.
Yes, I do. Poor Queen Jay.
She was like, should I even? Should I leave the house?
I don't know if I can even take you Well, when before the game
starts, she's like, I don't knowif I can handle you during this.
Before the game, I wanted to roofie myself just so I could
(37:30):
wake up tomorrow and see the score.
I didn't want to live through it.
It's too much. I forgot what it was like.
Because it's been so. Long it's a lot.
I literally just wanted if I could just put myself in a coma
for 8 hours. I was wound up and and I was not
happy until that final touchdownwhen Shipley ran in for that
final touchdown because Queen Jay kept asking me, are you
(37:51):
happy now? I was like, no, I'm not happy
now. It was over when they punched
out of Eckler's hand. They went and scored on that
drive. That was that was that's when I
texted you and he gives me the goddamn jinx text again.
No, I said this not too early. I said congratulations.
Another jinx, another jinx text.Another jinx test text.
Try and say that three times fast.
(38:11):
I'm going to send that in to Ralph.
Another Jinx text, but yeah, it doesn't sound like football's
fun for Ralph. It sounds nerve wracking.
I. Don't Well, do you guys get that
way when you're when your teams get into Super Bowls and.
Stuff basketball. Or whatever.
We were not a fan of anything. Like for the Dodgers, we had all
(38:35):
these superstitions and I think it just makes it more fun for
us. Like we just, it's just one way
to say like, oh, I helped them win.
Didn't Kevin me knew a segment on that too?
They. Did How did you help the Dodgers
win? Yeah, I think they did.
But I mean, it just sounds nervewracking for him.
It doesn't sound like a superstition.
(38:56):
Sounds like he's just. Getting in his car and driving
away. Driving in the way, Yeah,
wanting someone to run him over.All right, man.
Continuing with Ralph, I love itwhen he references the show like
or the Kevin and Bean show like this clip.
Lady Gaga is in the news. She's got a new album being
(39:19):
dropped. That was just an excellent call
back. I think there's there isn't a
lot of Garmi members that get itand then there was also this one
which is probably my favorite. Smoothie in a bowl mixed with
garana syrup and granola and banana.
The way you said granola, I thought that was perfect.
(39:39):
That is a perfect Kevin impersonation.
Do it again. Smoothie in a bowl mixed with
garana syrup and granola and banana.
Granola and banana sounds. Like a little party bus.
Yeah, party bus, party bus. All right, let's see here.
(40:05):
Cuppa Tina chat. They had Kevin on this week for
the bonus. Here is Ali talking about it
just before they played the bonus because we don't do any
bonus clips here. How fun was it to talk to Kevin
yesterday? I think we had a nice time.
I think everybody enjoyed it. Well, this went well.
What do you want me to say? Yes, we were looking forward to
(40:26):
it and it paid off. It was so good.
It was really fun. I think it will.
It will be eye opening there. Was delight, people.
I heard stories I'd never heard before.
Kevin yes. Oh, it was, it was really fun.
And I think, I think I may have come up with a great way to get
(40:47):
the whole band back together at some point.
What? Huh.
I'm not going to say anything about that.
I prefer people wait and hear that part of the conversation on
the interview. I'm just saying their new
podcast, the Kevin and Sluggo and Marcie and a Robot debuts on
Monday apparently. And I'm going to try to have
this bonus episode out in your feeds on Sunday so that
(41:08):
everybody gets a chance to hear it and get the flavor of it
before you even hear their firstshow.
The. Flavor.
Yeah, all right. It was a lot of fun.
I love that dude. So they're copying us, start
ripping us off. We had Kevin on.
They have to go get Kevin. Come on.
They ate the when I read the description it was basically all
of the things that we covered minus that one thing about self
(41:32):
driving cars. Yeah, it's like they listened to
our episode and just ripped it off.
I feel cheated. It's like they played clips from
our show or something. Like they made their whole show
just kind of a copy of them. Yeah, yeah, Clips.
Who would do that? Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, No, I don't know. I don't know.
(41:53):
Not cool. Hilarious comedy.
Thanks for playing along Lindsay.
It works. It works cuz you play along.
I do have one clip of Kevin fromthe bonus show.
I just had to bring this in. And by the way, can I just
interrupt and say you can interrupt as much as you want?
(42:14):
All right, Ally. Yeah.
I have a message for you. Yes, my fart.
No, please don't. Don't hang up on me.
You'll make it 2 against one fucking fart.
That was perfect. I, I it made me so happy, Made
me laugh out loud, in fact. I know there's gonna be games at
(42:35):
the singles party, right? Jody?
I think. Guess my fart might be one of
them. Oh my gosh, do you want people
to go home with their soulmate or not?
Did you play Guess my Fart? That's that's Christopher's
soulmate right there. That's all you need to know.
(42:55):
Oh my. OK, so instead of beats and
wings, we should have a lot of Taco Bell.
No, it's not guess my diarrhea, it's guess my.
Surprise what, Edwin? I was going to say set up a
stand for that outside of the pool area my friends can do.
(43:19):
That gosh. Oh, I should see though it's
pretty balanced right now we have 14 males and 15 females
going Nice. So one will be a three-way.
No comment. No comment.
(43:39):
That was amazing. There aren't.
There will be games. I think Mike's working on some
games, but there will not be. Guess my fart unfortunately.
That's for a later date. That's for another another
party. You know what, actually
Christopher, why don't you get in the pool and play that game?
Guess my fart and we'll all determined by the bubbles.
(44:00):
And we can stop talking about iton this podcast.
Finally, Lindsay. Yes, guess my fart.
Let's continue with this silky smooth voiced guy called about
conspiracies. This is a great call to start.
Hey Lane Bean, it's Chris from Bloomington, CA.
(44:22):
I was really sick, by the way, so I sound really awful calling
about conspiracy chat, celebrityconspiracies.
I have two on Michael Jackson. One that his high voice was just
his fake voice and he had a realdeep voice that was more, well,
I guess a regular man kind of voice and his high voice was
(44:42):
just pretend and show. I have heard that as well by the
way. People that were in the
courtroom said that his real voice came out.
And I feel like it was caught onvideo at some point to maybe
maybe that concert movie that they made out of his rehearsals
for what was meant to be that big tour.
And he passed away before it happened.
(45:03):
I feel like there was some videofootage of him using his regular
voice, too. Why would you do that?
Why would you speak in a much higher register for 50 years,
Ali? It makes you seem more innocent
and less like you were able to do bad things.
Oh, I see. It's like that.
Is it? I don't know.
The other one is that Michael Jackson beat up Tupac.
(45:25):
OK. OK, where'd you hear that?
And send that story to me. I want to do a deep dive.
I want you to picture Michael Jackson and Tupac in the
Octagon. Two men enter, one man leaves.
Who's your money on out of thosetwo?
I mean, I would go Tupac. But didn't Michael Jackson weigh
like 110 lbs or something? Right.
(45:45):
Yeah, I yeah, that's funny. Story is Tupac was dating Barry
Gordy's daughter who was like Michael Jackson's sister
disrespected her and Michael Jackson beat his ass.
I'd like your opinion on it but I believe it.
Keep up the work. It was.
Now there are witnesses to this who have spoken on the record
about it. It was not Berry Gordy's
(46:06):
daughter I. Was going to say, how many
famous daughters did he date? It was Quincy Jones's daughter.
That's who it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I think they dated in the last few months of Tupac's life.
There is at least one or two people who say they witnessed
this. But I feel like if it were true,
it would have been much more widely reported than it has been
then. Rather just somebody spouting
(46:27):
off on a radio show. You know what I'm saying?
So I I want it to be true. Yeah, I am calling BS on it.
How about you? I think I'll call BS on it as
well. I think it's true.
I mean Michael Jackson had a rough childhood and he got beat
up a lot by Joe Jackson. I'm pretty sure he picked up
some moves. Also, Tupac was probably shocked
(46:51):
that Michael Jackson hit him. I mean, you're standing there,
Michael Jackson comes up to you and smacks you down.
You probably wouldn't know what to do.
And then you know, the beating ensues.
I'd like to share another another well told story by the
Saint narrator. Stand by with Kurt.
(47:14):
Yeah, he he even while soloing, lays into the crowd and then
gets resurrected back up and he throws his guitar up at the end
of It's just amazing. And but yeah, there's I forgot
what I was going to say about that.
I'm sorry. I have this thing in my throat.
And so I'm just trying to just trying to clear it out.
(47:37):
But yeah, no, it was an amazing event and I just really love
that song. Song.
Hey boy, in a life for a moment with.
Kurt, what's the ker the ER? With Ker, you know what it is.
(48:01):
It sounds like being being going, ER, it's.
Me saying with Ker. ER.
The week that was. I got one more clip.
I got one more clip. One more clip, please.
(48:22):
OK, so on Saturday's episode, Bean had the longest sneeze.
Would you? Would you make?
It's actually chocolate. We're going to learn how to make
chocolate in this class. You will learn how to make your
(48:45):
own ganache, how to temper chocolate.
Stop, don't show how to enrobe your bonbons.
I don't even know what that means.
How to make your own chocolate bars from the beans and much
more. Ali, creating an amazing
chocolate bar from a cocoa bean is a wonderful process.
(49:07):
A team of top chefs will guide you through this map of
transformation. I am very excited to learn how
to make chocolate. We're going to walk out of
there. Listen to this.
You walk out of there with threehand wrapped chocolate bars and
a gift box of 10 bonbons and a box of 18 pralines.
That's all stuff that you're going to get at the end of the
class. You make your own chocolate.
(49:29):
Yeah. What are you going to make in
this glass? Well, chocolate, we're going to
make chocolate. What?
You're just catching on now, areyou now?
Bean, hold on, that sneeze was 48 minutes long.
Not feeling great? Yeah, Bean was sick.
That sneeze was straight up fiveseconds long at least, maybe
(49:49):
longer. And he just kept trying to
muscle through that whole segment.
And and then then later on in the episode, this happened.
You can do emerald green. Sorry, that one just came out of
nowhere. I didn't even have time to hit
the cough button. Sorry.
Never have time to hit but I'm so sorry.
(50:11):
Extra painful though. Yeah, that one did not feel
good. I'm sorry.
So 2 sneezes, 1 episode, and then in the group in the
Facebook group, Letty asked for a supercut of bean sneezes.
So I told her that I'd comply. So here we go.
Listen. Up everyone you instant make a
(50:32):
request. Instant Request.
Instant request. So once again, bean sneezing
supercut. Sorry, sorry, ever.
I have sneeze coming out. Maybe shouldn't be in that job
(50:56):
if it was, sorry. That just came out of nowhere.
That's the best thing, I think. I'm going to sneeze.
Think I'm going to sneeze? Yes, yes.
Oh my goodness, it went away. That doesn't usually, no.
So the top, yes. I don't know.
We've got a pill that makes guysDicks hard.
(51:17):
We can figure this out. I dislocated my nose on that
one. Wow really?
That definitely hurt. Would you?
Would you make? You have to send that to bean.
(51:48):
That was worth it, Lindsay, right?
Yes, it was definitely. Worth one whole minute of bean
sneezing I. Know nothing is more important
than that. Yes, you have to send that in.
I maybe, yeah, I think I will. I'll send it to you.
Yeah, All right. Well, that's the podcast roundup
being Ally. What did you think?
(52:10):
Oh, great. Good, good.
Good stuff, good stuff. Thank you.
I thought it was pretty good. I thought it went well.
Afro caller. What'd you think?
Stop. It.
OK, I will stop it now and go over to the week there was
Edwin. I have some moments with what?
Hey, man. What sorry this I'm taking this
(52:32):
off the rails just as much as anyone else.
We're gonna go over a minute andsix and it's gonna be difficult
to edit. It's gonna be hard to to get
done. OK, hit it.
Go ahead. We're at a minute and 12 now.
So we're we're, I don't even know the analogy and I don't
(52:53):
want to try a moment with Kurt. All right, on the Ralph report.
It is kind of a momentous occasion, once in a lifetime
thing. The Washington Commanders, the
Philadelphia Eagles are playing in the NFC Championship game.
(53:16):
I put this some. Hey boy, in.
A lifetime for a moment with Kurt.
A moment. With Kurt.
His idea I guess was just to seeyou off the cuff cuz I know
Lindsay has like hours of me talking and just having these
(53:39):
moments with just cuz talking experaniously is is hard.
Talking what now? Exteraneously.
Extemporaneously. Extemporaneously.
Mark the time. Wait, what was that word?
Extemporaneously some. Paper in a.
(54:02):
Lifestyle for a moment with Kurt.
There was also a moment with BigTad.
Back to you a little. Bit of a moment with Big Tad.
Also, I wanna hear the moment with Lindsay that started the
moments with Chris next week. Stay tuned.
All right, Edwin, I will play Edwin's clips.
(54:23):
Hopefully this works. Dear God help us.
Jankiest ever. Here we go.
OK, before we start, how many slips did you get?
Perfect. Before we start.
(54:44):
Before we start. How many clips did you get?
I don't know. Let's see what happens.
OK, I think I got double s I don't know.
There's a lot of them. It's going to be an hour and 30
minutes. Let's see what happens.
Then send me back into time. Edwin, our listener, Edwin, he's
(55:06):
a funny man. Edwin's funny pretty much every
time. Funny, funny man.
It's a new day. We can have the power feature
Presentation 114. I like when Mugs gives up on
(55:29):
himself and then starts over. I do too mean we're going to try
to do the week. That was January 27th, 30/20/14
Now I think I gave you Mugs at the Grammys Part 2.
Oh no, Eddie. Turn your camera off.
Your audio's trash. Yeah, it's sounding really slow.
(55:53):
OK, how about now? Better take it from the top, OK?
Welcome kids. We're doing the week that was
January 27th to 3120. Fourteen.
Let's start off with mugs at theGrammys.
I got clips. They were in here some.
Clips. That was here we go next one.
(56:14):
Matt from the National sits downand Mugs has a very important
question for him. So what are you doing here
today? I'm talking to people on
microphones and. About about the Grammys.
Yeah. So what is the most repetitive
question you've been asked all day?
You're only my second one. So so far, you haven't asked any
(56:35):
of the same questions. All right, I'll.
I'll try to avoid it. All right, so, So strike one,
with, with, with wallpaper. Strike two and strike three
question. What are you doing here today is
absurd. It's the only answer he could
have given. It's the same thing everyone's
doing there. She's obviously talking into
microphones and giving interviews.
Well, yeah, obviously. Well, then why obviously.
(56:56):
Why did you ask him? What are you doing here today?
I wanted to be more specific what you wanted to say.
I'm talking to you. No, I wanted to say, hey, I'm
here promoting an album and I got this, this and this and this
and this. Not I'm sitting here talking on
microphone. It's his fault, right?
It's his fault, right? It wasn't a lame ass question.
It's like he didn't give you a full enough answer.
All right, so what's the most repetitive question?
(57:16):
I'm going to try and avoid That was what was just happened.
Have you seen any of the nominees this year?
I've seen them. Seen.
Seen the list. Yeah, I've seen the list.
Yeah. Have you seen the list?
Read a list of names today. Have you read a list of you know
why no one else has asked him that?
Because it's absurd. He thought he would do the Oscar
(57:38):
round table. Have you seen any of the
nominees? I love that.
Osage County. How about you?
Oh, wait a minute. It's the Grammys.
What do you think you meant to ask there?
A beer mug? I think I meant to ask.
Are you aware of the nominees for the Grammys?
Aware of that? OK, that's no better.
That's no better. That's no better.
Why are you aware? Nominees.
(57:58):
Yes, I'm aware there are nominees for this award show.
I pretty sure I know how. Ladies, are you aware of the
specific nominees? Oh yeah, we didn't understand
that. Still not a question worth
asking. He continues with Matt from The
National. Now, as a band, how does The
National go in to a recording process?
(58:19):
What, like create? I feel like when Mugs gives up
on himself and then starts over,but it doesn't start over.
He just like I do in my in my moments with he'll just tack a
word on until 3 seconds in. He has no idea where that
questions going. Now as a band, how does a
(58:40):
national go in to a recording process?
What, like create? Well, I'd love to see the look
on Matt's face. Yeah, Mugs was on fire.
That's it. That's just what we should do
when we go off course. Just say created.
(59:00):
So I can't find the clips. Did I send them to you,
Christopher? Create.
Create and my moments with didn't sound as bad anymore.
That sounded something. Great.
Let's see, Next up, I might havegiven you Ozzy at the Grammys.
Do you have the names on the files or are they just?
(59:22):
They are just wave files, so let's keep it going.
OK, the the Grammys are in the rearview Mirror Now, but people
are still talking about two things from the ceremony Sunday
night. Obviously the hat, Pharrell
Williams Very and Ozzy Osbourne because we love Ozzy and we have
some concerns about Ozzy becauseremember last year, after quite
(59:43):
a few years of sobriety, he apparently fell off the wagon
and Sharon made him move out andit looked like there was some
real trouble for him. But then we heard he got his act
together and he's clean and sober again.
So what the heck was going on with him on stage the other
night? I got up on stage and he was
supposed to, Was he bringing outThe Beatles or just Ringo?
Ringo. But he, you know, was given, you
know, he's reading the teleprompter or trying to
talking about what an influence The Beatles were on his band,
(01:00:05):
the Black Sabbath. And he couldn't get any of the
words out. Here's a little bit of the tape.
If you missed it, then we've gotan update for you.
For me, the greatest band ever. Now, again, I have no idea what
he's trying to say there becausethe greatest band ever were
clearly the next line on the teleprompter just has to be The
Beatles, right? I would think shouldn't be that
(01:00:26):
hard For me, The greatest band ever.
Will always be on my mind. It's cold, so he's out.
He's. And then he took another run at
it. And I don't know if you noticed,
but geezer and the other dude, we're laughing.
Yes. And right at that moment, I was
like, that's what it's like to work with me.
(01:00:46):
You have to laugh, Kevin, or you'll cry.
Yes, that's correct. So is Ozzy drunk?
Is he on drugs? Is he just Ozzy being Ozzy?
What the heck is going on? We thought we'd get to the
bottom of this, and we asked producer Dave, could you please
light up Mr. Osborne. And I believe we have him on the
Kevin and Bean show right now. Hi, Ozzy.
Come on. Hello.
Hi. It's Kevin and Bean.
How are you? Oh, hello.
(01:01:07):
Hello. It's fun for you.
Nope. No, Ozzy, we're here.
We. No, don't.
Don't wake up your wife. Ozzy.
Ozzy. Kevin's not awake.
(01:01:28):
No. Can I take a message for him?
We're Kevin and Bean. We want to talk to you.
I want you to wake up when I hitthe door.
Then. No, because we're not there.
We're here on the phone. We're trying to talk to you,
Ozzy. OK, Ozzy, come back.
Look, Forget who we are. Forget.
What do you remember about goingto the Grammys on Sunday night?
(01:01:50):
The Grammys are Sunday night. I don't even have a suit yet.
No, they would understand. The Grammys are Sunday night,
Ozzy. We're going to mess up for it.
Ozzy, you've got a limousine. No, no, it's over.
It's you've already been Jack and Ozzy.
How one want to go? Kelly.
Her name's Kelly. She's your daughter.
And she's not fat. Hey, she's Ozzy.
(01:02:12):
Two days thin. It was 2 days ago and you were
on stage and you won a Grammy too.
You're black Grammy. Yes, she was there.
What did I win for best? Best comedy album?
No, best metal performance for God is Dead is what you want.
So congratulations, that was your song.
(01:02:35):
Listen, Ozzy, we're calling to ask if you are back on the drugs
or the drink or if you just had trouble reading the teleprompter
the other night. You're bringing on.
Well, that kind of answers that question, doesn't it?
No. Did you, were you not able to
read the teleprompter when you were trying to bring Ringo Starr
on the stage the other night? For me, the greatest fan always
(01:03:00):
be yes. Now what?
For me, the greatest fan were. It's always on my mind.
Nope, The Beatles. But you're looking for The
Beatles. That's the words you you missed.
It seems like the The Beatles maybe are a big enough band that
perhaps you didn't need a teleprompter for that.
(01:03:23):
I was almost this is Ringo. What you're not a did the clip
end? I think the clip ended.
OK, maybe that might have been a.
Bad edit. On my place anyway.
We'll put in about the Grammys. It would have been better.
(01:03:44):
Skip down. Go ahead.
Oh, don't, don't make me. Skip down, we're going in.
Straight line here but I got toomany clips.
And I don't know what they are anymore.
Have fun. But is that it, Christopher?
Well, OK, then play the next. One shit, which one is the?
Next one it may be more of a. Truth about the Bachelor.
(01:04:07):
You're just on the phone in yourhouse.
The Beatles. It just came to me.
The Beatles. Yes.
Well done. The greatest band.
All right, so it's all come complete now.
Everything's good. Oh, I can't wait for Sunday.
There. That there is the end.
(01:04:29):
As if this isn't hard enough, itwould have been better if he
said the greatest band ever was Create and.
Can you skip to the second to the last clip?
That's the the Friday ending montage.
I, I can't do it. So let's just go out on that
(01:04:50):
second to the last clip. Eddie, you can record your the
rest of your clips. Don't.
Yeah, don't do that, Giggity. Giggity and all that stuff that
you do. All right, that one.
No, no, not that one. I'm just saying it was.
It was all right. No, it wasn't.
It was OK. No, it was terrible.
Kevin, wasn't it? Not on the Kevin scale.
(01:05:12):
It was all right. No, it wasn't.
I'm not telling people. That it'll be all right for
them. But for me it was, it was fine.
No regrets? No.
Not it, no. Regrets for me either.
That's the week it was back to you.
Steve. Wait, hold on.
All right, Evelyn, what's going on with you?
Hi. Good morning, guys.
Hi there. Hi well I used to work.
(01:05:35):
At a bank. A few years ago and I'm pretty
small and about like 108 lbs butI have natural double D's giant
size cans. And so.
I can't always find appropriate conservative clothes that fit
because they're either too big or too small and my ladies want
to come out and say hello. So I used to get talked to a lot
(01:05:58):
and one time they luckily I had a blazer and in the car so I was
able to cover up. And then after that they said
that they would send me home if I didn't buy appropriate
clothes. I'm really moved.
By your story are you Do you have a tear in your eye Bean I.
This is really. This is one of the saddest,
(01:06:19):
saddest things I've I've ever heard Tell.
Tell me again how? You're so tiny, but your.
Boobs are so big you can't, you can't cover them.
I can't, not with. Fighting us, it's hard.
You just pop out. That has to be so hard for you.
It is it. Is so hard to beat right here
harshly. How dare you, Lisa, how dare you
(01:06:40):
suggest it? This is for me, this is it for
me. This is all about Evelyn and the
struggle that she's going through.
Look, if Evelyn's boobs aren't free, none of us are free US.
AUS. AUSAI don't know if you were
listening in the office, Ralph, but tough times in here talking
(01:07:02):
to our listener who's having trouble covering her boobs at
work. Yeah, very sad.
I got AI, got a low. Creepy threshold.
I just couldn't. I had to flip over to big.
Really. See what he.
There wasn't anything creepy about that.
I was worried about her. It sounded like she was in
distress. She couldn't find a shirt to
cover her boobs because they were too big.
Ralph, I heard you. That's a problem.
(01:07:24):
All right? I heard you going.
Yeah. So that wasn't it, Edwin.
That was it, right, Edwin? No, that wasn't it.
That one's off to himself, but Ithink that should be it.
That's good enough. That was a That's just good.
It's good enough. So that.
Call came from. The Miss Double December getting
(01:07:45):
written up at work for what she wore to her job.
Right. Exactly.
OK. Yeah, Brittany.
Who was a miss Double D got written up at work, so they took
calls about people that got talked to at work.
And that was poor Evelyn, who, by the way, Evelyn, if you're
listening, you can come to the Singles Party too, by the way.
Yes, yes. Extra points if you're blind.
(01:08:12):
The quitters never give up. Microphones were there while
Edwin was listening to this clip.
So let me play that, Edwin. That was worth it.
OK, I'm done for sure this time.Thank you.
Show ever. Don't Bogart.
Please roll another one. And they never, they never fail
(01:08:36):
to disappoint, just like the other one just happened.
I mean, it looks insane. I've been to a lot of high
school parties when I was in high school and college, and the
worst thing that ever happened at my house was there's a
(01:08:57):
cigarette burn in my mom's couch.
And she got mad at me that that was it.
Good story. You're beginning to sound a
little ridiculous. What?
(01:09:22):
What? Bring a bong, a bong a bong
Burbank gig a gig gig gig gig gig a Glendale?
Dude that is awesome. I'm sorry Sir, I have no idea
what to say. And now folks, my story is
(01:09:53):
ended. I think it is time I should
quit. If any of you feel offended,
stick your head in a barrel of I'm shutting down this perverted
place. For good, I guess your little
business over now. And you're welcome and say
goodbye. So long.
(01:10:15):
And how do you dirty the chart? You can get the hell out of
here. This was CBS, the Columbia
Broadcasting. Just let it go, Edwin.
There you go. Added a couple at the end.
Christopher. Don't let me.
Down play. Waldorf.
(01:10:36):
And what's his name? The two Muppets in the balcony
from The Muppets. Come on.
Wait. Hold on, talk about the Singles
party again. In this sickle boom. 17 O 9,
Valentine's Day, 3456. Cornett St.
(01:10:56):
Torrance $10, pizza, beer, whatever, who cares?
I don't know. Hot tub, that's all you need to
know. And you cannot hold Bean and
Alley liable if you get pregnantand create love it I Jody, I
think you should say goodbye with your dulcet tubs.
(01:11:18):
Yes. What?
What? What?
You should say goodbye with yourdulcet radio voice.
OK, so. All right, So everyone, thank
you for listening. We hope to see you soon.
And please think of us when you sleep tonight.
(01:11:39):
Think of us touching us together, our fingers tingling
our bodies together. Good night, Giggity.
Giggity, Giggity. How you do it.
How you do it, baby. All right, little fella.
Good job. He just smiled at me.
Did you see that? Believe he did.
Hey, how about that Lily? Same Sears.
(01:12:00):
She's dumb, didn't she? Yeah.
How about the size of those feathers?
Yeah, that's what that's what you need.
Like a whole. Ostrich to cover what she's got
you. Know what I'm saying?
Yeah. You got to take a poop.
(01:12:25):
Stop. Sending me pictures of funk
cock. Want a banana?
You look monkey bitch. No, I wish they had done that
differently. Why would you want them to do it
better? You've got to be fucking kidding
you. Oh God, seriously, I sneeze shit
(01:12:51):
it it did move this brakes rightoff of that fucking pair.
Oh God, blessed it. This has been a quitters never
give up presentation, Edwin, youknow.