Episode 184 - Stop saying raw bowl.

Sam and Jody join us to talk the Goonies meetup, Dating Naked, a gross toilet story, categorizing moments, hanging up on Lisa, Kat's mom, Sid Vicious, and one of the absolute best drops in Kevin and Bean history!

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Whale butter my biscuit hell y'all doing?
I just saw a barbershop sign with the dummy model hanging on
and because of the rain they poured a raincoat on her.

(00:23):
Yes. Less than ideal.
That was new Remix. Remix indeed.
I can't get your song out of my mind.
I haven't felt this way since Funky Town.

(00:51):
Who wants to hear some Glen camp?
Quitters never give up. Go ahead.
Repping for all. Of quitters never give up.
Check off Christopher, check offJen Pastorini, check off
Lindsay. Hello, Drew.
The great Ed Wynn, ladies and gentlemen.
I love him so much because I said quitters never give up.
And he said that's all they do. Actually, it sounds like fun.

(01:12):
Island of Misfit dildos. That's right, nobody wants an
anal plug in the box. I think they do.
A lot of party people, it is quitters.
Shit, the chickens are back. Stop it.
All right, there we go. It's quitters Never Give up,
episode 184. We got a lot of podcasts to go

(01:34):
over today, so let's go ahead and start meeting the quitters.
Oprah said I believe in her and I'm going to trust her, and she
had indications very early on that that trust was misplaced
and that Lindsay was not rehabbed.
Hi, Lindsay. Hello.
Who's next? Loopy pain Med Jen hi.
Jen. Hey, party people.

(01:55):
Say hello to Edwin. Do it for Edwin.
OK. Do it for Edwin.
I'll get back to you. Welcome back.
Good day, mates. Well, hello to you all.
Oh. It's great to see you, Edwin.
It's been so long. Feels like it.
No bell, Jen. No, no.
OK. And let's say hello to Jodi.

(02:17):
Thank you, Jodi. I'm doing Jody.
Thank you. I don't have very many Jody
clips. I'm have to try and figure out
how to get more, so all I got isthat that's all I got and I'm
Christopher. You need to get a couple drinks
and Chris for that to happen when that's when the real truth

(02:39):
coming out after a few cocktails.
That is true, right guys? Everybody knows that.
All right, Jody's here to talk about our next gathering, our
next meeting, our next meet up. Go ahead, Tony.
What is it? OK, this coming Saturday the
15th, starting at 17 O 9, we're going to be meeting at Mike's

(02:59):
house in Orange, CA. It's going to be in his
backyard, so bring blankets. You know it might be cold.
If you are coming single and youhave a blanket and there's
someone else who doesn't have a blanket, you might have a chance
to cuddle $10 will cover pizza, salad and sweets.
Bring drinks to share. And we're going to be playing a

(03:21):
Goonies theme being mix us guests in teams.
And for the address, go ahead and contact either Mike Dolan or
myself either through Facebook Messenger or IG.
Mike Dolan, you spell his last name as D as in Dale Chips, twin
brother O as in standing No, L as in Daddy likey A as in Taco

(03:51):
and N as in Oh, hello. Nope.
And JODIY. OK OTA.
Nice. Nice.
You can also message us at the Quitters.
Never Give Up and we'll get backto you too.
Now, will anybody be there streaming the event, Chris?

(04:16):
All. Right.
I, I guess, well, we, we don't want it to make public what
happens in Mike's backyard. Smart.
Yeah. And I don't think I have, I
don't think I have the right equipment to stream.
OK, I need to get my belt too. I don't think I, I don't, I

(04:38):
don't know and I don't think I'll, I think I'll be too drunk
to be watching the stream, but just saying.
That's cool, Yeah. Are you sleeping over at Mike's
house? The car or a Bush cuz it is the
IT is Saint Patrick's Day that weekend so I gotta pull a beer
mug. Yes.
Yeah, and it's also the fifth year anniversary of when the

(05:00):
show went off the air, and so wow.
And we're also watching The Goonies, which ties in perfectly
with all of this, But yeah, it'll be fun.
All right, all right, all. Right.
Well, in solidarity, my friend April and I will also be
watching The Goonies that night.Why aren't you and April coming
down? Because I'm working six days a

(05:23):
week right now because my one employee had a knee replacement. 00:05:29,280 Oh Dang yeah, I don't know if
Jen exists. I've only seen her in this
little box that. Is, you know, right?
I haven't showed up for nothing.Yeah, maybe.
Refuses to meet with us. Yeah.
One of these days. That was about the time AI
started so. Right.

(05:45):
And I mean, you know, I forgot what I was gonna say, but never
how. Let's start with.
That's a perfect segue into the moments with, right?
Let's do that. Nice.
It sure is with curl. Jamie Ayers filled in and Tyler

(06:11):
Williamson then I guess he is not a big fan Taylor Williamson
is not a big fan of Taylor Taylor Williamson I'm I have to
admit I'm not either some. People in a Life for a Moment
with Curt. And now it's time for a moment

(06:40):
with intern Lindsay. Why don't you go over more
things? I can, I can contribute.
Luke didn't even tell us about how mad he might have been at
the 3/4 Human podcast. And the I was about to say
quarters. Never give up the Cupertine
attack. Cupertine attack.
Cupertine Attack podcast had thesame story about the snow cotton

(07:02):
balls. What?
That was a moment with intern Lindsay, and now it's time for a
moment with intern Lindsay. I feel like I got that out

(07:23):
great. What are you doing?
Worked out well said. Except for Chi in a chat up of
Chi in a tat. Wait, I.
Just like. Next week when we pull it for a
moment with Lindsay, we'll hear it.
It'll be fine. It'll be.
There, definitely pull it. I do.

(07:48):
That was a moment with intern Lindsay, all right, and one last
moment with Kurt. You got three people here that
disagree that you were that you were, you were the funny one on
the show. We we all found you hilarious.

(08:09):
Wow. There you go.
Wow. Moment, moment.
With Chris. I didn't know how to turn that
one around, I'm sorry. You are funny.
Perhaps there's one way to do that.
I got my moments. Yeah, some people in.
A lifestyle for a moment. With Kirk.

(08:33):
I'd do anything for Lisa. OK, so the audio isn't really
great of me hanging up on Lisa, which is so weird because all
three of us heard her say something before I took her out
of the zoom room. But the audio did not pick her
up. And I like, I went back and I
tried to like turn it up, but she opened her mouth to say

(08:56):
something and then I just cancelled her.
So pull the Kevin's what you did.
I did pull a Kevin, but it wasn't a moment.
And with that, that's it. For And that's a debate.
I think that's a debate 'cause Ithink it's a moment.
I think it counts as a. Moment.
You hung up. That's a different category.
It's not a moment with Kevin Stockdale has spoken.

(09:19):
Kevin Stockdale, the decider. The one who categorizes
everything and does not have hanging up moments as moments.
So hanging up moments as moments.
Correct. Well, we need to call Kevin
Stockdale. Yeah, no, I'm, I'm with it.
Chris is the one who's trying torewrite.
It I'm saying. It's Kevin like, not a moment

(09:41):
with. But that moment started with
Kevin. You know, Kevin was the one that
they'd start pulling moments with, and then it went to other
people. So being Kevin Ask, is being
having moments. I disagree.
Thank you. With Lindsay, yes, thank you.
Does not strengthen your argument to say it's what Kevin

(10:03):
does. So it's a moment all.
Right, but how upset was Edwin that Lindsay hung up on and
Lisa? Oh, I I don't really know what
happened on the show because I was on vacation so.
He didn't listen to the episode,What are you talking about?
But you have to have heard. I mean, what I heard was she was

(10:24):
about to say, like, you know, I've fallen deeply in love with
Edwin. I can't wait to see him again.
I miss him so much. But we didn't get to hear that
because all we heard was. We.
Didn't even hear that. In that case, I'm furious.
Jodi, did you think hanging up is a moment or do you think it's
separate? No hanging up.
Well, no, it's it is definitely separate because that is a total

(10:49):
Kevin thing, you know, like he has his whole category.
See, Lindsay agrees. Thank you category, you know, so
thank you for doing that. This whole thing started because
I said that our moment score forthe last episode was 2 to 2 and
Chris says, oh, isn't it hangingup as a moment too?

(11:10):
But it wasn't no. And I could have edited MY2
moments together and made it 1. So I was really being generous.
Wrong. Back to you.
Wrong. Back to me and let's take it
over to the flashback with no introduction.
Hello and welcome to a very special flashback.
Because I'm going to introduce you now flashbacks.
And now? Flashbacks.

(11:32):
Let's. Have a look at this.
Just play the intro. Everybody here at Carac loves
the math. And we're all down at the art
gallery for Dennis Morris. He's a photographer who shot the
Sex Pistols and all these amazing pictures of the Sex

(11:55):
Pistols. And it's at the known gallery on
Fairfax and it's there now untilAugust 23rd.
And yet Billy Idol was there, Kevin was there from Prima
Donna, the members of Lords of the New Church.
And we're all honoring Dennis Morris, who's photographer, and

(12:17):
it was for the Sex Pistols. He's amazing, Great big photos
of the Sex Pistols and magnetic paper.
Pretty amazing. It's still going on next to the
Canon. You check it out.
And then of course, you did hearthe Sex Pistols doing pretty
vacant. And then of course, you heard

(12:38):
amazing snake heads. And here it comes again.
Anyway, listening to Rodney. And I'll be back right after
this. Actually, Rodney, we're out of
time for you, but Ralph is here.Time for the showbiz meet.
What's going on? I hope he's back right after
we're done here. I don't hope so.
I hope that call is on. Speaking of Rodney, here's the

(13:02):
thing he'd probably be interested in.
And I thought it was pretty interesting because they are a
big LA band. The Doors, of course, one of the
most famous Los Angeles bands out of the music scene in the
60s in the Sunset Strip. Years ago, the band put up money
for a documentary about the band's tour in 1968 called Feast
of Friends. It has never been seen before,

(13:22):
captured all kinds of cool backstage stuff.
You've seen bits and pieces of the movie.
But now for the first time, the whole thing will be released
finally on November the 11th on DVD and Blu-ray that I think
it's going to be fascinating. It's like it's been in a time
capsule all these years and you get to see what that band was
like during the heat of the the height of their popularity in
1968. How expensive is that?

(13:44):
I don't think it's going to be very expensive at all.
It's just a the the cost of an average DVD or blue.
How bad is that going to be? It's going to be bad at all.
I think it's going to be very entertaining.
You're crazy. Send me.
Pictures. I you've seen pictures of the
doors, Ray Manzarek, Jim Morrison, Go online.
Sounds great. She's a delight.

(14:12):
Hey, Matt Damon's coming back toplay Bourne.
Maybe he. Apparently he and director Paul
Greengrass are in talks with Universal to do yet another
Bourne film in the series after Bourne Supremacy and Bourne
Ultimatum, another Bourne film from Matt Damon, which may or
may not cause problems for the already announced Bourne film

(14:34):
set to star Jeremy Renner. He also has his own franchise of
Born going. So how many borns do we need?
I'll take them, Take them all. Yeah, that's dangerous.
No, it's not. Those gentlemen will be fine in
their separate film franchises. The VH1 has ordered another
season of dating naked. This is the reality show where a

(14:57):
man and a woman each date two different and naked suitors, and
at the end of the episode they'deither decide whether they will
have potential love matches or to move on.
Well, you must. Be really happy.
I am really happy because the last time I had the show on, we
saw that one girl on the beach and she was like a gynecological
exam. I don't know how it happened,
but we ever had to see see her tonsils.

(15:19):
We'd better not fall asleep. I would.
Not looking at that cats mom. And do we really need a reboot
of National Lampoon Vacation? Do I get one?
No. This this of course, A a reboot
of the popular film franchise starring Chevy Chase.

(15:41):
Now this Chevy Chase is an actor, but I do too.
Well, he will be appearing apparently in this new film.
He and Beverly D'Angelo, who famously played his wife in that
franchise. They will return and it will be
Ed Helms will star as a grown upRusty Griswold, son of Chevy and
Beverly D'angelo's character, and Christina Applegate as his

(16:02):
wife. And they are taking their own
family on the vacation. And as you can imagine, chaos
ensues. Put your seat belt on.
Yes, when you when you take a vacation, you should always put
your seat belt on. Did you put your seat belt on
when you went on vacation, Eddie?
Constantly. Because Kat's mom said so.
I love Kat's mom. Eddie, are you are you back now? 00:16:26,440 Yes, I'm back home.

(16:27):
I pulled a Christopher. I got in like at 2:00 AM last
night. OK, now I have to return
everything. What?
OK, so spot Twist, Christopher and I were going to go ahead and
prank your house. We're going to go like the night
before you arrived. We're going to put all these
upside down pineapples in your front yard, and I totally

(16:49):
decorate everything. So when you came back from your
vacation, everybody would know that you went on a swingers
cruise or something. Chris, you failed me.
I told you to tell me when we'regoing to do it.
I bought everything. Well, I, I had to go covert
because I knew he was coming back today.

(17:09):
So he just hasn't found everything in his house.
Just got to. He's got to keep looking.
Yeah, he does. That would have been a great
prank. Chris is busy.
Next time I go on vacation you could do it.
No, no, no. It has not be scripted.
It has to be total spontaneous. That's the thing.

(17:31):
Oh, yeah. So Lindsay and Jen never tell me
your address. I'm going to do stuff like that. 00:17:43,360 I'm going to do stuff.
All righty, next one. Time to talk to Doctor Drew.
We talk to him every week. Good morning, Doctor Drew.
Good morning. I'm a little nervous today.

(17:52):
I don't know quite what I'm getting into here.
Well, here's here's what happened.
Here's the setup at this time yesterday, your friend Adam
Corolla, your life partner, AdamCorolla, was on the phone with
us. Thank you.
And we were talking about how everybody is getting sick these
days. Lisa was out sick for a couple
of days. Kevin was out sick.
Ralph was out sick yesterday. We were talking about what's up
with that? And he had some interesting
theories about why he never, ever gets sick.

(18:14):
And he pointed out that he nevergets sick, yet he never follows
any of your advice. You follow your own advice and
you get sick a lot. In fact, these are the words
that came out of Adam's mouth yesterday.
We all know Doctor Drew is a world class pussy.
That's number one. All right, dude, that man is
sick 3 weeks out of every month.I'm a fire captain.
I'm giving you tips on fire safety.
Except for my house is on fire right now.

(18:34):
Who are you going to listen to? So Adam seems to think that he's
one of those people who thinks that you don't build up any
immunity if you are constantly scrubbing yourself and washing
your hands and avoiding contact with it.
Yes. Did he go on about how he
doesn't need to take a shower and doesn't need to use soap?
No. Next to that man.
Lately. He didn't share that with us.

(18:55):
Oh, he's gone all the way over the edge.
Oh, no, no, he's decided that wedo too much scrub.
When he was saying scrubbing andwashing, he literally meant that
we do too much of that, so he'lldo none of it.
Oh, so how, how long does he go in between showers?
Yeah, a couple weeks. No, if he does, he certainly
doesn't use soap. No, it's just stripping your

(19:19):
natural oils. I wish he would strip some of
that scent from himself so I could stand sitting next to him
when we're doing a podcast. Here's what he said about
Purell. Purell.
It's going to turn out to be a very bad choice five years from
now when they start doing a whole bunch of studies.
People need to be exposed to things.
Don't wash your hands, don't usePurell.

(19:39):
Roll around in feces. Now I'm not sure is that you go
that far. Not only it's interesting that
he picked Purell because I had to sit through many years of him
telling me how he injured himself self stimulating with
Purell. I got into urethra.
He's so traumatized by Purell he's decided to go completely
the other way. Yes, certainly doctors walking

(20:01):
around hospitals should not washtheir hands because everyone
knows it's not that the transmitsection to transmit diseases.
It's bacteria on our hands that we need to transfer to other
patients so they can be a sewer rat like Adam.
See now you're coming around to his way of thinking.
All right, So what is I mean because this is the number one
thing we hear from you and othermedical.
Professionals, every flu season is wash your hand is is the best

(20:24):
thing you can do is that's stillgood advice.
Absolutely, absolutely. You're going to listen to that
jail. What about Doctor Corolla,
though? Does he have any points?
Of course. He has extensive training at
North Hollywood High. Why do you why do you think he
doesn't get sick? Is it just that he was blessed

(20:46):
with a great immune system? Yes.
He's got good genes and boy. And when he into who's the
bigger pussy when he gets. I saw him, he got sick once and
that guy laid in bed moaning forthree days and I'll get near.
No, no, I'm sick. He does get sick.
It's a national disaster. Get sick because he's made-up
his mind that he's not going to get sick.

(21:07):
Oh my God, that's what he said. He's finally gone over the edge. 00:21:12,320 He's, he's always been a little
manicy, but now he's full, full on into a psychotic state.
I'm have to go track him down. Maybe this is controversial, but
is there anything to the brain having some power over how your
body reacts to germs and illnessand whatnot?
Can is there such thing as your mind being able to help you heal

(21:28):
faster, get better quicker, anything like that?
It doesn't, that's for sure. And, and let's let's be clear,
the neural tissue and the immunecell, the immune system do
develop together and they sort of break off from one another.
There is clearly some sort of intimate connection between our
central nervous system and our immunological system.
But you know, the that kind of thing, you know, the positive

(21:52):
mental attitude and cancers and infectious diseases, we actually
did think there would be something really good there.
And there's nothing bad there. But it's not bearing fruit the
way we would hope. But it certainly makes the
illness more tolerable, that's for sure.
What about this roll around in feces?
What about that? Yeah, that's recommended for
good advice. Certainly use pure AL

(22:12):
afterwards, OK. I was back in 2015.
Damn, Adam Corolla is crazy. Right.
Well then there's another. I don't remember when I haven't
found it, but when he would justgo swimming in the pool.
That was a shower. Oh yeah, that that's how he
would. Oh man, that's gross.

(22:32):
And then Omar was the same way. He said if he thought about it
that he wouldn't get sick. That would be awesome man.
I. Just got the show biz be coming
up. By the way, Kevin got some great
news for you. Yeah.
Did you hear that they're they're making some progress on
the the writer syndrome? No, no, I did not being.

(22:53):
Tell me more. We were, we were talking a
couple of days ago about Doctor Stephen Hawking and he's got the
ALS, you know, which is, you know, the brain is misfiring,
the communications to his body and it's very sad.
And of course, they're working very hard.
You remember the ice, ice water challenge from the summertime.
Everybody's working really hard.And then it turns out that that
you have something very similar that the, that the, that has

(23:16):
been named after you as well. It doesn't necessarily make you
smarter with the, the Ryder syndrome that you've got.
Did we decide it was airborne? Was that the problem?
I think that was our concern is because a lot of people around
you seem to be getting Dumber just by working with you.
Hey, look, that's why I moved away, OK?
I was concerned about my proximity.
Here's the weird thing is beer mug, who used to run the board

(23:37):
in there and now he's in the other room has has really
stepped it up. He's like he's, he's happy he's
able to communicate. He wrote a book and balanced his
checkbook. That's correct.
At the same time, as soon as he got out from under your wing,
all of a sudden it's like he gained 100 IU points.
So it's very terrifying for all of us anytime a new a new
disease is is unveiled onto the world.

(24:00):
But the good news is, is that the the Ryder Syndrome
Association, the RSA is now putting their considerable
resources to the American publictrying to get a cure for what
ails you, Kevin. And here's their first
fundraising pitch. Are you or someone you love
affected by Ryder syndrome? I learned 6 new lessons

(24:20):
languages never mind. Victims of Ryder syndrome seem
normal on the outside, but when they open their mouths, are
there Are there any things that I've changed my mind in in time
since since 2013 and with the time you are.
Should I try that again? The horror of Ryder Syndrome is
all too evident. Pennsy.

(24:42):
I'm sorry. Tennessee, Pennsylvania.
Pennsylvania. Thank you.
Symptoms of Ryder Syndrome are confusion.
And he's got a wooden hand, if Iremember correctly.
Watch what you're doing, mother.After more confusion, maybe she
just fell off the bandwagon and that was it.
I don't believe you fall off thebandwagon.
And the. Whole a lot of stupid.

(25:02):
It's a good thing That's that's gold personal.
You know what I'm saying? Rider syndrome is named after
radio personality Kevin Rider. You're listening to Kevin
Avincio on the world famous Gay Rock 1 of 6.7 KRO.
He's the Lou Gehrig of dummies. The sum of the parts is greater
than the hall of the sum of the well, you know.
Sadly, there is no cure for Ryder's Syndrome.

(25:23):
Just let it go. But there is treatment.
Vodka, Red Bulls and granola bars.
We loaded enough booze on the beer for the entire city of Las
Vegas. However, research into this
horrible illness is more important now than ever.
I need to do the Dateline next time.
I need to do the Dave plan next time.
I'm not drunk. So please give what you can.

(25:46):
Leonardo DiCaprio, make your taxdeductible donation out to the
Ryder's Syndrome Association, oras Kevin calls it, the RB KG.
It's much worse than I thought it was.
Our beloved Kevin. So good.
He is the king. The king, yes.

(26:08):
And that's it for the flashback.Awesome.
But thank you. Yeah.
Thank you. What?
To Alexander Glasser, that put all those clips together for me
and I can't thank you enough because I've been a bit busy.
Thank you, Alex. Thank you, Alex.
All right, it's my turn. I don't like them putting

(26:30):
chemicals in the water. They turn the friggin frogs gay. 00:26:34,560 Nailed it.
Ow ow ow, forget it. And.
When you want her to promote your podcast.
We got it. Say hello to Happy, goodbye to
the blue janky. Podcast.

(26:53):
The cookies and the juice, man. The cookies and the juice.
Let's start off with the 3/4 Human podcast.
Marcy got a new kitten. Now Sid Vicious is a new member
of the family. Sid.
What about the farewell drugs? I don't know that any cat looks
less like Sid Vicious. No Kitty one.
Then Sid and it's and it's a she.

(27:14):
It's a she. Sid Vicious the kitten.
That's a bold name for such a tiny fluff ball.
Can't wait to see her. Sid Vicious the kitten is going
to steal the show. Can't wait to see her in action. 00:27:28,800 Look how cute that kitten is.
Look at this base. How old did you say the kitten
is? Oh baby.
Two months. You know what that kitten isn't

(27:35):
Sid Vicious. Which is why I named her Sid
Vicious. It's.
Pretty great. You.
She's so cute, I'm going to squeeze her.
Cute. She's going to kill you one day,
though, you know that, right? She might.
She she wouldn't kill you and eat your body.
That's how it works. Yeah, she's absolutely adorable
now, but watch out for that hidden punk spirit.

(27:58):
She's got a reputation to uphold.
That's that's right. Look at Corny coming with the
Sex Pistols. That's a good observation.
That. Well done.
So Corny was chiming in. He was having some retorts
there. It was nice.
I didn't get the reference but. You.
You don't know who Sid Vicious is.
Come on, Lindsay. No.

(28:19):
He's a punk rock icon who playedbass, played bass, pretended to
play bass, pretended to play bass for the Sex Pistols.
That helps. That helps a lot.
He addicted to heroin, killed his girlfriend, hotel room, then
killed himself. It's OK.
Got it, He made. A movie about it now it was the

(28:41):
feel good story of the summer helived up to his name.
Yeah. It's called Sid and Nancy if you
want to get educated kids. Yeah, Gary Oldman stars in it.
Gary Oldman, who played Beethoven, who also played Sid
Vicious. Quite a range are.
You playing mad Libs, You're playing mad Libs.
No, this is a true story. It's a real movie, Sid and
Nancy. She's too young, she doesn't

(29:02):
know. She's lost next movie night.
Sid and Nancy, yes. Yeah.
There you go. That's gotta work.
No, it's supposed to be lost boys.
Lost Boys, Sid. And Nancy?
Then Sid and Nancy double feature cuz Sid and Nancy was
such a feel good movie. Just yeah, yeah, yeah.

(29:23):
All right, let's continue with the 3/4 Human podcast with some
more Corny. I was wondering if there's any
possibility Corny might be able to give us a different kind of
accent. Like Corny can you do a
Southern? Drawl whale, bless your heart.
I reckon I can give that southern drawl a try for y'all.
Oh my God, I love it. Can you do this entire episode

(29:45):
in that voice? Well, I'll be happier than a pig
in mud to keep this up for y'all.
Let's get to it. Oh my God, I love it.
Wow, Courtney's starting to bring it lately.
Courtney. Well done.
We're very. Proud of you.
Well shucks, I'm just tickled pink to hear that y'all are

(30:05):
duper. He's got the lingo down and
everything it does. Do we have a song for Corny?
Someone called right? Do you have that?
Oh well, I can't wait to hear it.
So Coney. Oh, oh so Coney.
Oh, so Coney. Been listening long.

(30:26):
Time. I don't think he heard it.
I don't think that he understands the reference.
No. OK, but does Lindsay understand
the reference? No.
No. Do I freeze?
Rocking out sounds like, oh likerocking out in his truck.
No. OK, Come on, Lindsay.
Are you gonna tell me or? It's so it's in the 90s Yeah.

(30:51):
Look Google it later. How old do you think I was in
the 90s my friend? 3 Thank you, That's exactly
right. I I remember watching Star Wars
and I was three years old in thetheater so you can remember 2
life crew. Oh me so horny because all the
kids were singing that one in the 90s.

(31:15):
We have to I'll put it down at the end.
You'll you'll hear it later, butit's a rap song.
It's very controversial and they're the reason we have with
the stickers on the CDs that said parental advisory explicit
lyrics. That's.
Would that be a one hit wonder? Yeah, probably.
Yeah. I don't know if they had any

(31:35):
other hits. Someone's got to call that in.
Yeah, but also Lindsay. Get that from Full Metal Jacket. 00:31:44,800 Yes, the the sample comes from
Full Metal Jacket. Yeah, Lindsay, Full Metal
Jacket. No.
OK, come on. Isn't that the one where he
yells in the guy's face? Yeah, that's the one.

(31:58):
Yeah, that's. He says like, oh, I don't
remember what it is, but it's very famous.
You can't handle the truth. Nope, different movie.
Wrong movie. It's.
Like. Come on, Jen.
Am I funny or something like that?
I don't know. That's that's Goodfellas.
I knew that as well, but you know what I'm talking about,
right? He yells in the guy's face.

(32:19):
When? He's there's a whole, yeah, the
drill Sergeant, the drill Sergeant.
Thanks Harley and me. OK so this is an entire episode
of Does Lindsay Know and I. Find that it wasn't intended.
I I only brought these clips in to ask you last week.
You had said that. How?
How soon will the novelty of Corny wear off?
And now Corny's bringing his game.

(32:40):
Courtney's stepping it up for you.
He's got the accents, he's got the interjecting with
references. He knows who Sid Vicious is, and
he was only born like a couple months ago.
Corny's deflecting to me and I don't appreciate it.
Corny. I think you guys just came up
with a new bit. Does Lindsay know?
You know how these people? Does Kevin know?

(33:04):
It has actually been a bit before, yeah, it's the old
specialty Youngs and together. I had a theme song for that too. 00:33:12,480 Let's.
Let's. Let's let's you know, do we need
to let people know that there's now the chat BCC for three
quarter human podcast where people can kind of chat with

(33:27):
Sluggo, Marcie and Kevin. Yeah, it's.
I don't even know what it is, soI can't even really describe it. 00:33:36,400 It's very difficult even to
vocalize, right? But you could also call them and
their number is 818-510-0042. And you can leave a question for

(33:47):
Courtney Sam. Yeah, Sam, pull it in.
Call it in. I'll call it in.
OK, let's go over to the Ralph report.
It's the year of Steve, and thisweek it was Steve Urkel.
Steve Urkel's been featured and Eddie ruins this.
You think if you're like had sexas Urkel, like fans wanted to

(34:11):
fuck Urkel and like sought him out at convention with you and
wanted to have sex with him, What is what?
Lindsay was nodding. For everyone.
I do not speak from personal experience, but.
I can. I can only imagine.
I saw you nodding a little bit too exciting.
Vigorously. Yeah, I'm sorry.
Here we. Go is wrong.

(34:32):
I'm just. Wondering because people like to
do that stuff, do they? They like to have sex with the
character. Please tell me more about this
phenomenon. Tell me all the extensive
research you've done. I'm just saying, people like
that, people ask celebrities, can I please have sex with the
characters? But I'm talking about like, you

(34:52):
know, you know, everybody wants to have sex with characters,
right? Favorite TV show, somebody for
the story, some groupie forced Leonard Nimoy to put the ears
on. I bet you he fucked somebody as
fuck. I bet you he did.
First of all, Spock would be an awful fucking lay because he's
emotionless and cold and robotic.

(35:14):
Mind meld your fucking puss. Fucking live long and prosper
right up in there, you know whatI'm saying?
Two in the pink and two. That's right.
All right, that that show went off the rails.
He's. Not not in now.

(35:35):
She did when they when they mentioned Spock.
She nodded again. I was gonna.
Stop shaking her head after the Oracle thing.
Why is this the Lindsay Show? Yeah, it is the Lindsay Show
today. All right, so if Steve was
ruined and now it's time for us to play a game, let's start
playing. How does this story end?
How does the story end? My friend?

(36:02):
Friend how? What does the story end?
OK so Eddie was brought up a story of why he woke up real
early and why he couldn't sleep.So let's figure out how this
story. Cotton balls.
This is embarrassing. Good.
I good. We need that.
Well, I give you a preemptive loser horn.

(36:27):
It's deserved. You know, where sometimes you
get up in the middle of night and you have to pee?
I I'm familiar with that phenomenon, especially at our
ages. Yeah.
I finally drift out like 2:30 AMand I wake up at like 4, just
exhausted. And I got to go pee.
And I'm like half awake and I goin the bathroom and it's dark
because I know where everything is because it's my house.
If I don't turn, I don't turn lights on.
If you didn't wake up at someoneelse's house.

(36:49):
So I'm not in there turning lights on.
So if I just go start peeing, I pull it, take it out, whatever.
We know how peeing works. I'm just, I'm just trying to
paint a picture. We don't need the listeners for
the listeners at home. No one wants that pictures being
painted. And so I start peeing and I hear
the I hear pee coming out, right.
You hear the tinkle, but then it's it's not, it doesn't sound
like liquid hitting liquid. It sounds like liquid hitting
plastic. That's not good for anything.

(37:11):
And then my knees start getting wet.
Like I start getting spray on myknees and I'm like, wow, that's
fucking weird. And I'm still so groggy.
I'm like, I'm not, Did you ask the question?
Why is it wet? Why is it wet?
I'm so groggy. I'm like, all right, I let it go
a little bit longer because it still feels weird.
And then I stop, and then I holdthe P and I turn the light on
and. So I ask you.
How does the story? End.

(37:36):
I would like to contribute by saying that I have a friend
whose story ended with there wasa live squirrel in the toilet.
How did that happen? True story.
I have no idea. That's from Anchorman.
No. Isn't there a TikTok video of a

(37:59):
squirrel song that you showed uson Time?
I'll I have to look it up, but there's a squirrel in the
toilet. Yeah, just trying to get a nut.
How does this story end and when?
Tell us Save. Us.
I'm flabbergasted. I have no idea.

(38:19):
Jen. How does the story end?
How does the story end I. Don't remember.
Jodie. How does the story end?
There are three old dudes in their 80s who really want a

(38:39):
lemon party. They come in and they have the
golden shower of their lives. No, no, thank you.
A for effort, though, very creative.
Did they have blue waffles for breakfast?
Is that why? Oh my gosh.
All right. Bluewaffle.net you're.

(39:02):
About to lose? You're sharing privileges.
All right, here's how the story ends.
Then I hold the pee and I turn the light on.
Finally woke up. Fucking lid was down.
Yeah. Peed all over the lid.
I don't put the lid down. I leave the lid up.
Well, you should put it down. Why?
Well, no, because then you're peeing into the.
First of all, don't you lift theseat before you pee?
No, You pee into a toilet. I'm really good at aiming with

(39:25):
the seat. I'm really good at aiming.
I don't need. I don't need that big of a hole
you're getting. I don't need that big of a hole. 00:39:33,800 You're getting splashed back all
over the seat. And then when someone sits down
the seat they're getting. It's my bathroom.
The splatter of yours. It's my bathroom.
Urination. She has her own bathroom.
It doesn't matter whose bathroomit is.
You lift the seat up. Yeah, but I you go, you go start

(39:48):
you go into raw bowl. When you pee, you go into raw
bowl. I don't sometimes all times.
That's how it works all the time.
In the middle of the night, I'm good.
No raw bowl. I don't need especially stop
saying raw bowl, especially in the middle of the night.
If you're not turning lights on,the odds of you catching some
seat are are I'm pretty good. Drastically increased.
Well, obviously you're not because you peed all over your

(40:10):
That's because there was no hole.
There wasn't raw bowl. It was no hole.
So I was, I, I was cleaning, I reiterate, I was, I was cleaning
the bathroom last night at 4:00 AM.
So the lid was down and also Eddie doesn't pick up the seat.
I don't need any further explanation of this, I promise I

(40:33):
you've painted the picture has. It wasn't my story, it was
Eddie's story to tell. Yes.
I did see raw bowl. No hole at the troop though.
There you go. And splash back open for them,
right? Yeah, and that's the podcast
round of. No, we got an HR complaint from

(40:53):
Bean. How do I get in touch with HR?
There's a Co worker here at a cup of tea in a chat.
I don't want to name any names but she frequently shares too
many details about her pooping habits and I didn't sign up for
it. I never did anything to lead her
on to suggest that I was interested in a minute by minute
update of when and how she poops, but you won't stop

(41:15):
telling me about it and I feel like that's a legitimate concern
for me as a fellow employee. Interesting.
Just I'm going to play devil's advocate here for this employee
of yours. Did you say you were going to do
the show later today? And maybe her timing was off
because you needed to start later so she was being super

(41:37):
accommodating to you. Hence she started her day and
her scheduling of things, IE poop a little later and then you
all of a sudden with 5 minutes to go said hey I can go at
regular time. And then she's like, well, I
haven't pooped yet. Could that have happened?

(41:57):
That does sound familiar to me. All right, I'm just going to
continue to take notes. This is what they tell you to do
is make sure to write down every.
Just log in half with that person, log it and believe me
I'm going to be knocking on H Rsdoor the next time this happens. 00:42:11,520 OK.
Jen, you run a business, you have your own HR department.
Is this a valid complaint? Yes.

(42:17):
OK, yeah, she shouldn't be sharing that.
Well, and it's funny because I'mdefinitely one where you put the
toilet seat down, mostly becauseI don't want to fish anything
out of the damn toilet. Yeah, it drives me crazy.
I don't want to fish anything out of there.
Do you? Why are we having this
conversation at 2? Jen, come on.

(42:39):
You're my biggest supporter here.
All right, I I also, I don't like the hidden reference that
Ali snuck in there, though. Yeah, just log in half.
Would that person log it? Just log it.
Just log. It I got that after when I was
headed in. That was the rejected logo for

(43:01):
Nike. It's.
Pretty good, I'll allow it. OK, we got the some beer mug
news from Bean. We talked about how for years we
used to chant fire beer mug and then he ended up out lasting all
of us on the morning show. Right.
And by the way, your five year anniversary of getting fired

(43:23):
over the phone during a pandemicis next week.
Fantastic. Five years I will.
Bake a cake made of shit. The reason I bring all that up
is after all this time, here we are in March of 2025 and there
was a huge round of cuts at Odyssey.
Over 250 people were let go across the country, and Beer Mug
was one of them. Oh, he was.

(43:44):
So Beer Mug actually did get fired finally, and it makes me
Can you? Not have joy in.
Your face. No, the opposite.
The opposite. I'm furious about this.
Beer mug is not the one you fire, right?
They just look at the bottom line and they go, let's
eliminate the bottom 20 people. That's what they do, right?
Yeah, but beer mug is not the guy you fire.

(44:05):
He's in many ways the heart and soul.
Yeah, you tell me. There's a perfect way to
describe it. Because he's a guy who can do 30
different things. So Bean went from fire beer mug
to he's the heart and soul of the whole organization.
It's sad because we just talked.Our Lisa May episode just aired

(44:25):
and we were having that conversation.
Yeah, beer mug made it. But I also thought Jody had
messaged me about it and I thought that he got fired last
year. The whole there was a whole
protest thing that he was involved in.
I thought he got fired. But doesn't Omar still work
there though? I think so.

(44:46):
I don't know. They didn't mention he was fired
or what he was doing, but I think he does OK.
OK. But yeah, it's sad to hear Beer
Mug is now not on the station anymore looking for a job.
It really sucks but I guess that's they finally got to fire

(45:07):
Beer Mug. Fire beer mug.
Let's go back over to Ali. Ali developed a conspiracy
theory. Let's see if you guys can figure
out why. And I don't like it.
I don't like it at all. And I'm going to tell you this,
maybe bookmark this for when it comes out on Saturday, March 8th
in two years when we have gone to a society that everything is

(45:31):
done via app, via Bitcoin, via whatever.
And why is that? Oh, so the government can be in
charge of our money and all of asudden, poop, guess what
happens? All of our money is gone and
we're relying on the government for everything and they are
tracking every purchase. Knock, knock, knock at your
door. Why did you spend money on this? 00:45:54,200 Oh no, Big Brother, mark it

(45:54):
down. It's happening.
I am not a conspiracy theorist. I don't like them putting
chemicals in the water that turns.
The friggin frogs gay. Yeah, she was channeling a
little bit of Alex Jones there. You're bringing the crazy extra
hard today, huh? Yeah, it was pretty rough.
Here's the second part of her conspiracy theory as it

(46:14):
continues, and we find out why she's having this theory.
But the way it's. Going being.
I am terrified that our money, everything we have worked for,
is no longer going to be ours. Yeah, you're going to end up
being one of those people who puts all their cash under the
mattress, right? You're not going to believe in

(46:35):
the banks anymore or certainly nothing digital.
You're certainly not going to beusing PayPal or Venmo or
anything like that because. Realize I sound crazy, but I'm
going to tell you this. I said that your roombas were
tracking you. I said people are watching you
through your computers. I said things that have all come
true. I can't argue with that.
I think you're right about that.I will not be buying this new

(46:56):
version of Monopoly, that's for sure.
This was all over a Monopoly game, a version of Monopoly
where they they use it, they play on their phone.
Right. Yeah.
I, I, she went off. It was very Alex Jones esque
Alex Jones. What do you think of Ali?
She is an abject psychopathic demon from hell that as soon as

(47:20):
she gets into powers and try to destroy the planet, I'm sure of
that. And people around her say she's
so dark now and so evil and so possessed that they are having
nightmares. Folks, let me just tell you
something. If media wants to go with this,
that's fine. OK, no more Alex Jones.
Let's get out of. Let's get rid of him.
All right, let's go over to, oh,let's see, that was the end.

(47:45):
Sorry, I am all discombobulated.Way too long.
Shit. OK, what did you think of this
podcast roundup? What are you of?

(48:05):
Course, what are you doing? What is?
Everyone there on the cocaine. Everyone here is on the cocaine. 00:48:13,240 Let's move over to the week that
was. It's a special week that was
because Edwin was out all week. And so I actually put it
together. I'm the captain, El Capitan.
El Capitan. That's right, I'm the captain

(48:28):
this week. Let's get this started now.
What are they going to do with it, Ralph?
They are going to poop in it. Press the button, my friend.
Send me back into time. Fine, Christmas.
It's a new day, our feature present to meet the club. 2014.

(49:01):
Filling in for the P is Chris. That's right, I'm filling in for
the P for the Edwin. This was a big week.
I have to say this was the the wrong week for Edwin to be out.
It's like I picked the wrong week to quit smoke, right?
First off, let's start off with the Lisa May commercial.
Right now Togo's. For only 5 bucks you can get a
Big Fresh Meaty Togo's daily special sandwich and a drink.

(49:22):
It's a $5 deal Togo style. Only a participating restaurants
for a limited time. Big, fresh, meaty Togo's.
I'm Lisa May with K Rock Traffic.
Thank you, Lisa. It's a world famous K Rock at
852. Did she just say big, fresh and
medium? Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, OK. That is what she said.
Just like Cody Simpson, big, fresh and medium.

(49:43):
Yeah, Edwin missed our episode with Lisa and that Lisa can make
commercial it's. Like I picked the wrong weight.
Quick drink. I would have brought that in.
So good job. I'll just create each clip you
bring out. I'll tell you if I would have
done it. Well, you're going to have to
bring this one in this week. What they were they were doing
the This week was the Oscars 11 years ago and a famous drop

(50:06):
appeared. Let's start off with the first
showbiz week. The highlight, of course, of the
Oscars for many, including myself, was a John Travolta.
John Travolta introducing one ofthese songs that was nominated
for Best Original Song from a Motion Picture for the year, Let
It Go from the smash hit Frozen.I was really looking forward to

(50:27):
Idina Menzel singing the song Since You sang a Movie.
Apparently it was not to be because as John Travolta
introduced her, he said please welcome the one and only Adela
Dazeem. No one really knew who Adela
Dazeem was. It turns out he was introducing
Idina Menzel. But something right, something

(50:49):
something went terribly wrong. Something misfired and he had a
stroke. Did you notice how many people
were having trouble with their lines last night?
Yeah, a lot, a lot of flubs, including Ellen, who's usually
such a pro. Yeah, couldn't, couldn't choke
it out. Della Zazim.
I was like, what did he have? My was it with my wife and I get
flipped Museum was like Kevin was like Kevin Jerry producing

(51:12):
the song. I'm not one only by the way, she
was singing let just let it go, right?
That's right. She should have.
Yeah, that's right. I just let it go.
I think it rattled her, quite frankly, because she started
singing. She said like she's a little bit
off. I think she heard him screw up
her name. She's like, here I am probably
the biggest audience I'm ever going to sing for.
She's a big Broadway star. I mean, she's been a

(51:32):
professional singer for a long time.
But she must have thought I'm singing for an entire the world
is watching at this moment. And he goes so weird.
Adela, was that me? I'm not sure.
Should I start? So there's Ralph riffing on the
1st showbiz beat and notice theydidn't play the clip.
So it was real interesting goingback and listening to this week

(51:53):
and seeing how the show formed and seeing how they introduce
these clips and introduce the news.
So I brought the second showbiz beat because this was equally as
funny. Leonardo DiCaprio, He, he will
be fine. Speaking of not being able to
pronounce people's names, John Travolta channeled our friend
Kevin last night at the at the Oscars.

(52:15):
Can't he just be John Travolta making a mistake?
No, he's, he was Kevin. There's Kevin last night.
Kevin asked when he was asked tointroduce Idina Menzel, a super
talented Broadway and movie starTV star.
She was going to sing the song that she performs in the movie
Frozen Let It Go live on stage at the office.
Let It Go. Travolta was asked to bring her

(52:38):
on stage. He was obviously a big fan.
He said how much he loved movie musicals and Broadway musicals.
He he seemed to to know Idina Menzel's work.
He worked in a little pun there about how wickedly talented she
is because she, of course, was the star of the Broadway show
Wicked. And instead of Idina Menzel, we
got this. Please welcome the wickedly

(53:00):
talented one and only Adel Dazeem.
I hear it. I can't believe how wrong it is. 00:53:09,280 Adel Dazeem.
No, I didn't. I didn't know who that was.
You didn't know Idina Mendel? No.
While I was watching, I had no idea who it was.
It just sounded like he mumbled something.
I was like, he's mumbling. I didn't realize that he was

(53:20):
wrong in every way, every possible way.
It's like someone just took thatname and put it in a blender and
he just drank it up. Whatever.
Dazim. Indeed.
Well, Dazim now has her own Twitter account, and she tweeted
last night. Thank you.
Jordan Tramulto. Jordan Tramulto.

(53:41):
Adele Dazeem. Adele Dazeem.
So strong. All right, Dell Dazeem, a
classic drop, a classic used in perpetuity.
Edwin, would you have brought that in?
Well done. We had two for two so far.
Who do we have here joining us? Hold on.
And now, breaking news Bone. We have Sam.

(54:03):
This is Santa Monica. Sam, can you hear us?
Do we? Yeah, Sam, Sam.
Working. Unmute Sam, or else I'm going to
tell you your most embarrassing moment the other week.
What happened to you? Tell us.

(54:24):
Tell us. And no, no, no, no, that's his
story tell. No, no, no, I can't.
What up, Jody? No, you can't tell a story.
For that story, that was good timing, that was.
Great timing. No, no, no.
How you been? Doing unmute.

(54:47):
Well done. We have Sam.
What's up, Sam? Nothing much, I'm sorry.
Excuse the noise. I don't know if you guys can
hear all of that noise in the background, but it's going to be
loud. All right, Bing.
This week there was a special tribute from the guys.
Oh what? Who died?

(55:09):
Dear Kevin and Bean. The e-mail begins.
I regret to inform you that I ammoving to Texas and I will not
be able to prank call you guys on the air anymore.
I am the Santa Monica guy. Oh no, I have just two weeks
left, he said at the time of this e-mail.
A week ago by the way. So now just one week left to try
to get through. I want to thank you and that
dumb ass Kevin for giving me my 50 minutes of fame and for

(55:32):
finding my prank calls funny. Popo Zao Kevin explain for
people who may not recognize this is Santa Monica.
Who's the guy we're talking about here?
This is a guy who here's what happened.
We started with this TV show named Let's Paint.
It was on. It's on YouTube.
You can still look it up. There's a guy, he's in a suit,
he's running on a treadmill. He's painting and he's making

(55:52):
blended drinks. And he would take calls on on
this television show that's on cable access so there's no
language problems. And he would get prank called
every single day by gang membersthat would shout the Santa
Monica and then they would hang up on him and then they would
curse and then they would tell him to F this and do that.
And somebody else would call in from a rival gang.

(56:13):
And we were talking about it. We said we really love it when
people prank us. We're not kidding.
We're not just saying that it makes us laugh.
And so this guy got the idea andhe would start calling the show
and he would say, this is Santa Monica and we would all have a
great time and laugh and then move on.
And he's been doing this for years, for years now.
Let me give you one example of of how it would be.

(56:35):
We'd be doing a phone topic where we'd have listeners
calling in on a topic and he would get through the phone
Screener and make up some story that he was going to tell us on
the air. And then this would happen.
Go to Mike in Lennox. This sounds very funny, Mike.
Good morning. Hey, good morning, guys.
In a while. Well played by Fred.

(56:56):
Well played. So that happened to us dozens of
times. He gets through the screeners
with a false story like you're saying.
We would always be very excited to get to him because it was
such a great sounding story. And then he would just shout out
to Santa Monica and it would make and it would make our day.
Now, your name is Sam? Yeah.
Did we ever know that? I used my name a couple times.

(57:18):
And one time I think Dave ended up knowing who I was.
No, he did. OK, so, so take take us back,
Sam to the to the earlier the the germ of the idea.
So did you did. Are you the person who used to
actually call into less paint TV?
Or were you imitating that guy? Well, I was just imitating him.
Yeah, that guy was a real. It sounded like a real gangster. 00:57:41,360 Yeah, that was a real troll.

(57:41):
I just look like one. I'm not really worried, though.
So you just thought it was funnythat he was doing that and you
saw how much we enjoyed it, so you decided to start doing it to
us? Yeah.
And how many times? First of all, how long have you
been doing it? How long have you been Santa
Monica prank calling us? It's been 7 years now.
Seven years. See, we applaud that kind of.
That's the least time well spent, Sir.

(58:03):
And how many times do you think you made it to the air to do it? 00:58:09,520 I think I've got all money about
20 times and and I've I've left it on the Afro line a few times. 00:58:15,040 You do good work.
Now. What is it in you though, that
can you continue to find it funny after you've done it the
eighth time, the 12th time, the 17th time.
What made you pick up the phone and go to all the effort to get

(58:25):
through on the air again? Because I'm such a dumb ass.
I find anything funny, bro, listen, so did we, you could
probably tell we found it funny as well, right.
So this is this is very sad. I'm so glad that you reached out
and sent us this e-mail, A, so that we could say thank you for
all the hard work, but, B, just sad, sad to see you leaving the
area. You know, we don't have enough
listers that we can afford to just, you know, get rid of them

(58:46):
Willy nilly. Why are you leaving?
Because California's too damn expensive, man.
That's why. Yeah.
So you're moving to Texas, whereyou can get away from the state
income tax. At least that's a start.
And then just try to build a newlife out there, huh?
Yeah, you're going to, you're going to prank call people and
shout in Santa Monica, and they're not going to have any
idea what you're talking about. I'm not.
But like I was saying, David, I got this app where I can hear

(59:10):
you guys live so well. There you go.
It's just a minute. It's like about a minute delay.
So by the time I get through, it's going to be kind of hard.
Well, I expect you to keep trying.
Yeah, absolutely. I want to hear from you while
you're driving around Austin or wherever you are now, Sam.
Seven years you've invested in listening to.
All right, all right. So that's part of the clip.
I got more coming. But Sam, you left California,

(59:32):
went to Texas, right? Yeah.
All right. Yes.
It was amazing that you did thisfor seven years, calling up,
saying this is Santa Monica. That's dedication.
Yeah, it's good. I love the show I did for you.
We appreciate it. We appreciate it.
I got to tell you, I, I heard this live and when I heard it, I
had to stop, pull over and listen.

(59:54):
It really affected me. I mean, I when I found out my
dad died, I didn't cry. But when I found out Santa
Monica was moving and we were gonna get a This is Santa
Monica, I wept. I was really sad.
Need to queue in the baby cryingsound.

(01:00:15):
They did a song, so let's keep going and.
Contributing to the Kevin Abed show as the Santa Monica guy.
We want to thank you for that, first of all.
And Kevin, I understand you havea parting gift for a friend.
I do. I have a goodbye song for our
friend Sam. Kevin, what's the best goddamn
Internet television show there is?
Let's paint. Let's.
Paint. He cooks, he exercises, and he

(01:00:36):
makes blended drinks while painting.
So he takes calls. So now he's walking on the
treadmill. She's behind him, cooking.
The band's behind him, waiting. And this guy takes a call.
Hello. All right, man.
Hello caller. All right man, this is AK Rock

(01:01:11):
listener who calls and asks him about being on our show among
selling out. Why are you selling out now?

(01:01:33):
Wants to be the first. Neither one of us wants to be
the first to. Say.

(01:02:09):
Thanks Sam. I'm crying.
Brings a tear to my eye too, still.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm tearing up.
You just can't see it. So how long were you gone, Sam?
Like five to six months. Yeah.
He has more commitment to the bit than to his mood.

(01:02:31):
Yeah, dude, the second day I wasback, I I called immediately.
I was like, hey, I got to call him back.
This is another moment that justwent on for years.
It's one that we even referencedin an earlier clip and let me
just play the the whole showbiz beat because it's just gold.

(01:02:52):
Ralph is announcing the cast of Dancing With the Stars.
They're kind of riffing on each of the names because nobody
knows who the fuck anybody is, and then they finally get to the
one name they know. 1st The Ralph's got the showbiz beat
here on a Tuesday, breaking breaking news.
I told you I'd have it all when it was official.
And now we know the season 18 cast of Dancing with the Stars

(01:03:13):
and the stars have never shined as brightly, shown as brightly
as they have in season 18. My friends, did they come on
Courtney Stodden? Did they start out strong and
just get weaker each year or didthey were they always sorted?
They were always strong and continue to be strong.
That's what you mean, my dad. Let's take a look at some of the
celebrities, the high profile celebrities who will be Dancing

(01:03:36):
with the Stars. I'm very excited.
You don't watch. March 17th is when it all begins
on ABC. So here's your heads up.
First of all, very exciting thatCharlie White and Merrill Davis
will be participating. Oh, Charlie and Merrill, yes,
and they are. And we would know them from
battling against each other for the first time.
Who and Merrill, who are these people of whom you speak?

(01:03:59):
Charlie and Merrill, they're stars being stars of what?
Of the Olympic ice dancing. Oh, OK, Doesn't that give him a
little bit of an advantage? Olympic gold medalist ice
dancing partners Charlie White and Meryl Davis, who have been
partners for 17 years, will now separate and battle against each
other and dancing with the starsto the death.

(01:04:23):
But that's a pretty good castingthough, because the type of
people who TuneIn to watch ice dancing are probably interested
in dancing with the stars, right, Ralph?
If they actually did Dancing with the Stars to the death, I
would watch. That would be awesome.
Also, Candace Cameron Buray. Oh, my God.
I've been waiting for her to be on this show.
She's going to join. Who's that?

(01:04:44):
She was on that full house. OK, Wonder years.
Danica McKellar. OK, Winnie from the Wonder
years. All right, we're in.
We like her. Amy Purdy.
She'll be there. Oh, Amy Purdy.
Amy Purdy was. Hold on.
Let's see if we can. She was God.

(01:05:05):
Amy Purdy. Amy Purdy.
Come on. Is she an actress?
No. Athlete.
Singer. She's an athlete.
Of course she's an athlete. Another Olympian.
She's a Paralympian. What?
You heard me. A Paralympic.
So the Paralympics. So she's paralyzed.
Probably missing a limb. What's happened?
She misses down, down the wheel.Kevin, what's going on?

(01:05:27):
Kevin? Your first guess was right on.
She's paralyzed. Well, I'm just saying, what's
the story on that? I would watch that too, by the
way, if you were Dancing with the Stars as well.
She's paralyzed. Paralyzed.
Yeah, we'll be Dancing with the Stars, Kevin, you're absolutely
right. What is her?
She is AUS Paralympic snowboarder OK at the age of 19. 01:05:48,520 Could you just imagine them

(01:05:48):
just. No, don't finish that sentence
no matter what. Nope.
Move on, move. On because that was the first
moment with Kevin that we'll keep going because there's a
bigger one. She was diagnosed with
meningitis, had both legs amputated below her knee.
Wow. She will be the first contestant
to compete with both prosthetic legs on the show.

(01:06:11):
You may remember of course we had Paul McCartney, but but Amy
Purdy has has 2 prosthetic legs.She'll be dancing.
Hey, if Oscar Pistorius gets acquitted, man, maybe he'll be
on Dance with the Stars next year.
We can all look forward to that.I'm still waiting for the
paralyzed competitor late this year.
Cody Simpson will be there. Oh, he or she is excellent.

(01:06:33):
Cody Simpson names don't get much bigger than this.
When are you going to start naming some stars on this show?
Simpson, my friends, is an Australian pop star, right?
What does that mean to be JustinBieber?
What does that mean to me in America?
He is a star. Ralph has had.

(01:06:54):
Ralph has had to tell us who every single person on this show
is so far. Diana Nyad.
You know that name? He's the old broad who won't
stop swimming in Cuba. He's the old swimmer.
She'll be dancing. Wait.
This is unbelievable. Here come the stars.
Now. You ready?
OK, now we're ready for last. Nini Leakes from The Apprentice. 01:07:18,720 The Donald Trump Apprentice

(01:07:18):
Show. Yes.
And The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Real Housewives. Yes.
James Maslow. Of course, we'll be dancing.
James Maslow. James Maslow.
Yes. Yes.
Kevin. Thank you.
Is he from. From.
How do I know? I was a lucky guest.
Big Time Rush. He's one of the members of Big
Time Rush. Oh, my God.
Wow. Sean.

(01:07:39):
Sean Avery. Sean Avery.
I feel like I should know that. You do know him.
Former NHL player. I was afraid you were going to
say that. Yeah.
He's going to be participating. Drew Carey.
He works for the Kings now. Drew Carey.
Now we're talking Drew Carey. Now we're a name we've heard.

(01:07:59):
And I've saved the best for last.
Billy D Williams. OK.
All right, Lando Calrissian. All right, So I'm interested in
two of the competitors on here. Cloud City.
Fantastic people. And he's got a wooden hand, if I
remember correctly. Oh, come on.

(01:08:19):
Are you talking about Luke Skywalker losing his hand?
Losing his hand? Orlando.
No. What's his name?
Billy Dee Williams in the. Oh, never mind.
No, please. No.
We have time. No, we don't have time.
Go ahead. No.
What are you talking about? I'll explain to you.
Why does Delaney Williams have awooden hand?
He was in a movie with. If I could remember his name, I
would tell you, but I can't. Who's the guy that used to have

(01:08:40):
me but has now lost me? A comedian that's not funny and
sings every once in a while. Adam Sandler?
Yes, he was in an Adam Sandler movie.
He had a wooden hand. How am I the only one that
remembers that? How do you guys not?
You're not thinking of Carl Weathers.
Is it possible? I haven't.
I think of Carl Weathers. I can't say no.

(01:09:01):
Wasn't it impossible? Is it Happy Gilmore?
Was it Carl Weathers? Was it Happy Gilmore?
Gilmore. Who had the wooden hand?
Yes. Carl Weathers.
He's on the show. This is.
Hey, Sam Rubin. You know they're not all the
same person, right? You get that, Laurence.

(01:09:24):
Laurence Fishburne we're talkingabout, right?
I'm so happy I didn't say that to him.
Ralph, that's an uneffing, believable Dancing with the
Stars light up. I knew you'd love it.
Oh, my God. I knew you'd love it.
And do they? What a great ratings.
No matter who they have. Yes.
Why don't they just cancel? Well, I guess that's why they
don't just cancel the show, because clearly no one wants to
be on it, but everyone wants to watch it.

(01:09:46):
Oh, my God. Especially can't wait to see
Carl Weather. Carl Weather's paralyzed.
I've heard he's gonna be dancingparalyzed.
Thank you. Thank you.
It was. Standing OH.

(01:10:11):
I saw each one of you guys checking out like about 3
minutes in like Oh my God this is taking forever.
Finally got there. It was wonderful.
No, I thought they just dropped it in again and I was like, wait
a minute, that's crazy amazing. That was.
Awesome. How fun is that, Christopher?
So listen to old shows and something starting to come up
and you're starting to remember something and then, Oh my God,

(01:10:33):
it is so great just to hear it organically as you're listening
to an old show. When I was listening to this, I
had no idea what was coming up. When they said, when they said
Billy Dee Williams, I had no clue what Kevin was going to say
next. I thought, I thought I was
already there with the paralyzedperson on the Dancing With the
Stars. Had to go back and get it but it

(01:10:55):
was amazing. Amazing.
Edwin, would you have picked that clip?
Absolutely. I picked the wrong week question
from blue. Right, Edwin, the wrong week.
I guess I. Did an Edwin or an Anna at the

(01:11:17):
end of that? What movie is that from?
Lindsay, What movie is that from?
I have no idea but that that wasa perfect Anna and Edwin.
Christopher, I am very disappointed in you.
I am too, but only because I didn't really listen to that
clip beforehand. I just pulled them because I
have them. I have them in a library.
I have them in a library of clips that Edwin would enjoy.

(01:11:39):
So. You'll have to drop it in.
Yeah, I will. I do have the the Edwin fall and
the Alley Fall. You know, it'll work.
All right. Well, that was the week that was
featuring me. Jen Sturger.
What did you think? Thank you for your time this has
been. Not helpful.

(01:12:02):
Maybe next time. I disagree, I I had a great
time. Also, what movie is that from?
What? I had a great time.
I disagree. No about the snipping glue.
Oh, you're just gonna just Google it?
Airplane. Airplane, thank you.
Yeah. I reckon for surely 1.

(01:12:25):
Yeah, it was before my time too,but I know.
That I would have gotten. Shirley, you weren't serious.
Well, I am serious, ha. Ha ha ha.
Don't call. Me, Shirley, The fall is getting
thicker and Leon's getting larger.
Sam, say goodbye from quitters. Never give up.

(01:12:46):
All right, this is Santa Mon. Yeah.
I did hang up on him. I did not hang up on him.
You hung up on him, Lindsay. No, I did.
Hang up on him again, Sam. One more time, please.
All right, give me. Some time, yeah.
That's a fail, Sam. I just want to thank Sam for

(01:13:08):
being here, reliving his Kevin and Bean memory with us.
Also special thanks to Jodi. Remember the Goonies outdoor
movie watch party is this Saturday March 15th at 17 O 9.
It's $10.00 for pizza, ice creamand baby roofs.
Bring y'all drinks to share. So let's all enjoy a great movie
and maybe wake up in a Bush the next morning.
And on that note, I'm hanging upon everyone.

(01:13:31):
Bye bye. Somebody please bring me some
toilet paper. She's still in there.
Someone toilet paper that there,it just got all over me.

(01:13:52):
All right, that is fucking what a disaster this was.
We got to get out of here. Yeah, I'm glad it wasn't me.
It's all over the mic. I'm.
So glad it was out of a W Memorial Studio has been covered
in cream just. Got bukaki?
It's going to smell like when itdries.
That's what I want. Nothing better than like old
sour milk. Smell awesome.
My shoes. What the hell?
Happens. It's everywhere.

(01:14:38):
Do you Does anyone listen to ourshow?
Oh. Oh, Arsenio Hall is here looking
good. And the quitters never give up
presentation. This is Santa Monica picked the
wrong weight question if you blew.