Episode 186 - Sunshine... on my....

Chinese food, listeners give Ralph Candy Crush advice, the 5AM club, a drinking show, Rick Dees, the pope swears, a Harvey Levin earthquake, and the sad Ralph and Eddie Money story!

Episode Transcript

(00:02):
If you don't. Find farts for me Then you're a
loser because you are choosing. To have less.
Joy in your life? What the exact?
Same amount of farts. But still, you got to, you got
to take a stand somewhere. You do.
And when it, when it comes to me, it's whiskey.

(00:22):
That's where I draw the line. That's where I have to.
I have to say something about mycharacter.
Yeah, I'd like to give her a little vitamin D.
Yes, we know what that stands. I don't.
Think you do. I'm talking about this, right?
This injection right here. I like to inject some vitamin D.
Stop pointing. You know, I'm making a big toll

(00:43):
of myself. I don't think you meant that.
I think you meant Oh, that's. Gonna be a long fucking segment.
Quitters never give up. Reckon for all of quitters,
never give up. Check.
Off Christopher, Check Off Jen Pascorini, Check out Lindsay.
Hello. There oh.

(01:05):
The great Ed Wibb ladies and. Gentlemen, I love him so much
because I said quitters never give up and he said that's all
he do. It is all I've ever wanted,
that's all. That's all.
Just that, only that. It's just all my dreams come
true. A lot of party people is
quitters Never give up episode 1.
I think we're at one 86186 186. Nice.

(01:30):
Let's say hello to the quitters.Let's say hello to Jennifer.
I am here with Jennifer. Jennifer, before we start, let
me it might. Be good if I check if we're
recording, check check. Yes, we are.
Hi, Jen. Hi, check, check.
Hi party people. Let's say hello to Edwin You.
Want to join us, Edgar? Edwin.

(01:54):
What's that? It's Edwin.
My name is Edwin. You know that it's nice.
Yay, that's my clip. That's my clip.
Woo. Thank you, Lindsey.
Yay. Good day mates.
I like that song too. Play it.
That's a great song. I was watching Yellow Jackets
and the second I saw that clip Ijust stopped everything and sent

(02:16):
it to Christopher. I was so excited.
Well done. I rare that I get a clip from
Lindsey, but it's very cool. Yellow jackets.
I've been wanting to see that. Is it good?
It's good. It's good.
I think you you guys will like it.
It gets slow at certain times, but it's it's a very unique
show, I will say. It's about women eating other

(02:38):
women. Is that what it's about?
Is that that's the trailer that I got?
They eat men too. OK.
All right. Where's the bells, dudes?
There we go. Thank you.
All right. Let's say hello to Drew.
And so Drew's company, CripplingHot Sauce, was born.
How you doing, Drew? I'm fine.

(02:59):
I've been crippling. People buy hot sauce for about 5
years now. It's great.
Excellent. I saw crippling.
Hot sauce of the troop. Well played.
I want to say hello to Lindsay. That's that's a boner killer.
That is, that is. It's a boner reverser.
Yeah, and it got an innie now stepping out of.

(03:23):
I was with you through everything, Lindsay, but I'm
sorry. It's just not gonna work out
anymore. How you doing, Lindsay?
Not the first time I've gotten that feedback, and it won't be
the last. My penis held on for so long.
For Lindsay, it really did it it.
It stayed by her side through the rehab, through the passing

(03:43):
out in SUVs outside clubs, through the bloat.
The bloat, the the career self destruction.
What ended it? This latest story from the
National Enquirer. That's the stinky feet story.
Edwin buried the lead last week with all the Lindsay clips he
could have brought, so I. I feel bad.
Lindsay was on a roll. Lindsay Lohan when I'm listening

(04:05):
in 2014 and it's all bad clips. I'm sorry, Lindsay.
It's. OK, that's OK.
All right. And of course I'm who am I?
I forgot. What a great show by the way,
and Chris is an excellent host at that thing.
Oh, yeah. There you go.
That's me, Christopher. Nice.
All right, what are we doing first?

(04:26):
Let's go ahead and do the flashback.
We want to do moments first. Was that the thing?
Is that what I got? I got the request for instant.
OK, Go ahead, Jen. Go ahead.
Wait, who am I going go? Ahead, one of you.
And now a moment with listener Edwin.
Neil, Neil Diamond gave it to me.

(04:48):
Now Lindsay was holding out on us because I went back into
America Top 40 and I didn't knowshe had a mail letter read by
Casey Kasem. Are you marking the time,
Lindsay? I am marking the time that was a
moment with listener. Edwin I don't remember it being

(05:11):
that bad, but wow. Oh wow.
It was it was pretty momentous. All right, this is technically a
group moment, so no intro or outro.
So here we go. Yeah.
Was it like Rock Hard where someone said Diamond and he's
like, oh, that's the perfect part of the name.
That's perfect name. No, you don't ever seen Rock
Hard either. Or Walk hard.

(05:33):
The Dewey Decimal points, Walk the line, That was a moment with
both Chris and Lindsay, and I believe it's walk the line and
then something the Dewey Cox story.
It's a Walk Hard, the Dewey Cox story.
OK, not the Dewey Decimal System.
All right, one more with. Curl Ali always makes that joke

(05:58):
with Sam Worthington, but not being not so much.
I think he's he's told her you have to make that joke every
time. It's he's she's contractually
obligated, obligated, obligated.She's contractually obligated,
Mark. To say that Mark.
That one down. Yeah, some.
People in life with Curt. I'd love to get a copy of that.

(06:29):
And that is the end of the moments with segments.
I didn't really hear anything wrong.
I don't know. You were the one who requested
we mark the time on the first one.
Yeah. But on 2nd hearing I think it
was, I think it was done well. Hello and welcome to a very
special. Flashback because I'm going to
introduce you. NAD flashbacks.

(06:50):
And no flashbacks. Let's.
Have a look at this. Just play the intro.
Here we go. I'm sorry, I know you're all,
you're all very angry, but I can't help it.
I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with my my usual
furious anger at this Patrice Wilson and this song of his.

(07:13):
This new song comes out of his Ark Music factory.
This is what this guy does. You go to him and you say, look,
I'll give you 5/10/15 grand takemy talentless 12 year old girl.
Write her a song and put her in a video.
Make her a star. Make her the next Rebecca Black,
because that's how Rebecca Blackgot started, her parents said.
We, she, she. This guy that wrote the Sun for.
Her we don't care really about our daughter, so we're going to

(07:34):
buy her affection by giving her there's some semblance of a
career. She wants to be a pop star even
though she doesn't have the talent for it.
Write her a song. OK How about Friday?
Does she like Fridays? OK, it's Friday.
It's her favorite. It's Friday.
Friday, Friday. That's her favorite.
That's her favorite day. Right.
OK, boom. Here's a Friday song And made a
video, and it explicably became a hit.
Yeah. Well, I think because it's so

(07:54):
terrible. And then some other little girl
came along and he said, oh, really?
What's your favorite holiday? Oh, I like Thanksgiving.
All right, I'll write that song.I love Thanksgiving.
And I'm making a video about people eating dinner and
Thanksgiving and that that became a a large size hit on
YouTube. Yeah, now, now he's really now
he really shows how much he hates us.
He's taking this little talentless Allison gold.
Boy, is she annoying in his face.

(08:16):
Hit her right in the face with your chopsticks, you know what
I'm saying? And the single is Chinese food.
Chinese. Food.
Chinese food. That's not a song.
I love Chinese food, is the lyric.
I love Chinese food. Yeah, you know that it's true.
I love fried rice. I love noodles.
I love chow Mein. Chow Mein.
That does happen. Here's a little taste of the

(08:38):
song. Do you?
Want the first one or do you want the?
First one, yeah. All right, the first one.
There you go. Oops, wrong one.
Sorry, let. Me go.
Let me go back. Glad you asked, Dad.
Thanks. We talked to Kevin Spot while
we're at it. She's hungry.
Hug it and then she's hungry. Yeah, that does happen.

(09:37):
Not a song. That is a song and it's a hit,
man. Songs need to be about
something. That is, she likes Chinese food.
You know it's true. I am wearing a shirt.
It's not a song because it's. True.
I can walk with my legs doesn't mean a song.
You have to write about something.

(09:58):
There was a time in this world where songs were written about
something. I think it's hot, it's hot, it's
hot, it's tight. It's a hit, man, and I like it.
I'm going to go get it. That's the keeper right there.
And then the show is just enormous personal disregard for
us as an audience. Patrice Wilson, as he does on
every one of these songs, shows up in a wacky cameo in the video
and then raps for us. Get me broccoli.

(10:29):
Don't be a busy bee, Monopoly. Get me?
Broccoli while I play Monopoly. That's not even trying.
Don't be a busy bee. Because it's your fantasy,
because it's your fantasy. Hot sauce and sweet and sour

(10:50):
make it sweet. Because Chinese food takes away
my stress, now I'm going to go and eat Panda.
Because Chinese food takes away my stress, now I'm going to go
eat Panda Express. F this guy right?

(11:10):
Right is. This worse?
This worse than Fridays, isn't it?
It's the. Worst one yet they're getting
They're getting increasingly bad.
Unbelievable. I don't know how the decision is
made, like anyone's and maybe noone else has to sign off, but
maybe it's a one man show. Yeah, it's just him.
But how do you finish writing? If you want to call it the
Chinese food song and go, that'sit, That's it.

(11:31):
Nailed it. How do you do that?
Doesn't. Care, but guys, listen the other
songs that he wrote, which were also equally crappy.
Worse. Now this is worse, but this is
worse. This is.
The worst I. Agree it's the worst but he
keeps getting rewarded for this is going to be a huge hit
because it's so bad. Get off, get off, get off.
Get off, get off, Get off. Get off.
Get off. Get off, Get off, Get off, get

(11:51):
off, get off, Get off it. Let's remember no one has to
like it or buy it, but if enoughpeople watch it on YouTube, he
makes money off of it. And everyone of these songs, my
favorite part is how he just jams rhymes like just that just
don't belong in there and just. He has to be a part of.
It. I love fried rice.
I love fried noodles. I mean, everything just does.

(12:14):
All the rhythms are off. It's just words are just slammed
up against other words. And it's Chinese food.
Check me. Broccoli.
What rhymes with broccoli? No.
Monopoly. Busy.
Busy because it's your fantasy to eat Chinese food and go and

(12:37):
chop suey? Yeah, use the chopsticks to eat
hot steaks. Put some hot sausage, sweet and
sour. Make it sweet.
Make some Chinese food, do some weight.
My stress. Now I'm going to go and eat
Panda Express because that is good Chinese food.

(12:57):
Yeah, I like the crowd. Yeah.
She's at the one point in the visit the damage goes.
And I love this food because it's so beautiful.
I eat soup and eggs. Shut up, shut up.
It's. My favorite song.
I like that the family didn't say no when they offered.

(13:17):
They were offered that song. They're just anybody who does
this just self indulgent BS where they just cater to
whatever whim. There's a char Princess has like
2 or 3 grams a. Minimum of 5 grams.
I think it's somewhere between 5and 15 grams a time.
Wow, said and done. So they just say take my kid and
make whatever nonsense so. This is This is the MTV show.

(13:38):
Remember My Sweet 16? Sure, where you see the spoiled
little brats getting some car orher 16th birthday and she'd
like. It because the colour's the
wrong colour. Whatever.
That's what this is for 12 year olds, mommy and daddy said.
Oh, you want to be a pop star? You want to how about you look
at glasses first? No, we're, I'm just going to put
you right in the video. We're going to have someone
write a song for you, honey, because you're special.
You're the. You're the.

(13:59):
You're the chosen 1. You're the chosen 1 I like.
So the take away here, Ralph, isyou like it.
Yeah, good song. I think it's OK.
How are you? A classic.
Who's hungry? Me, but I want I.

(14:20):
Want some Chinese food tonight? Nah, Mexican.
Yeah, I just had a breakfast burrito.
It's delicious. Oh.
Yum. Was it the best one ever,
Christopher? No.
And those were interesting to you?
Yeah. I, I, I made it myself.
So it was. It was really good though.
Who's hungry? Nice.
OK, so if I love Chinese food isn't stuck in your head later

(14:42):
on today, this next one will getstuck in your head.
And this is for Lindsay. It's playing.
Is there no sound? God damn it, it wasn't me this
time. Wasn't me this time.
Let me. Try to say it wasn't me.
Oh, what caught it? How's the song?

(15:02):
The Shaggy song? Go keep.
Keep. Ad loving.
I keep trying. Yeah, yeah.
I don't remember. All I remember is it wasn't me,
because that was really the onlypart I could sing.
Damn. It.
When she caught me in the chat. Wasn't.
Wasn't me. Yeah, do it.
I'll do the other part I. Don't do that.
All I do is that Hanson. There you go.

(15:24):
OK. Zach Hanson of the band Hanson.
As much as I hate myself, as much as I hate myself, that song
is. Great.
You can't not love it. I know I'm with you.

(15:46):
I don't. Want to like it but.
You can't help it. Just it's, it's, it's the crack
cocaine of music, it. Really is.
I want more of that now please. It's also complete nonsense

(16:07):
they're not saying. Anything.
Not a thing. Get a sense that the Hansen's
are just pointing and laughing their asses off.
The Jonas Brothers. You know what?
We're not on drugs. That's what we're not on.
We're still together. How about some brothers who can
stick together? Suck it Jonas's.
That's what they're saying today.
And Speaking of music, reggae rapper Shaggy celebrates his

(16:30):
45th birthday. I don't.
Understand the single word of the song.
That was you. Wasn't me all right.
That was in the shower. It wasn't me.

(16:51):
On the counter. It wasn't me.
That was you. It wasn't me, not you, I'm
guessing. Sensing a pattern.
All right, OK, we're good. Do you more think we've heard
enough of this particular song? OK.

(17:12):
That that is perfectionistic though.
I don't care if you, I don't care if you hate pop music.
You will be singing at this afternoon at 4:00 and cursing
our names. That song is delicious.

(17:32):
It's like a fruity carrot. I'm Rob Garman.
I walk the showbiz beat. I want them to superimpose.
What did you do in with that Shaggy song?
That's what I I could probably do that.
What did you do? OK.
Thank you. We should Do we need that.
Please and thank you. Lindsay, you don't want us to

(17:53):
have any fun. How come you don't want to sing
any long? I was singing along the whole
time. What are you talking about?
But you muted our mics just you're getting into it.
Just you. Me and Drew.
Me and Drew got muted. No, Drew did not get muted once.
Did not want to. Drew knows how to respect the
clips, yes. Yes, I already am muted.

(18:15):
What? I.
Feel like this whole episode is gonna be a moment with Judge
Trudy and I'm very excited aboutit.
All right. A couple of things.
Wasn't me. Did you guys plan that?
Did you play that clip for Lindsay beforehand because she
brought that in before or? No, No, no.
It's the universe too. This so happens.

(18:36):
Coincidence. Serendipity.
What happens at the tube of time?
So the second thing, Ralph's kidis about 15 now.
Do you think Ralph is gonna contact that guy?
So she gets a hit. Oh.
I think that would be awesome. I don't think so.
It'd be great. I was thinking he should write a

(18:56):
team back with us. Yeah, right.
We're we got 15,000 in the account right?
Why would he need to contact her, I mean him when he has
Queen Jay. That's true.
But that's it's not the same talent.
It's not the. Same.
That would be quality, yeah. I don't think Queen Jay can give

(19:17):
us Chinese food. I don't think no.
That type of master, you guys, you have to go to the source.
But didn't he did give us? Is it Patio lanterns?
She has some of the really cool songs she's done.
Yeah, yeah. He's saying that she would be
too much of a professional. Too much.
Yes, she would. And she wouldn't rap.
She wouldn't rap in the middle of the song for no reason.

(19:41):
All right, so that's it for the flashback.
I have another clip. It's a little long, so if we
have time at the end, we'll do it.
If not, I'll bring it next week.Do it now.
In about 20 minutes or so here, the Kevin De Bean show.
We're going to open up the phonelines, give you some more
tickets for the Kevin De Bean singles party.
Yeah, let's change topics. Good idea.
This Friday night, the scary carry prom on the Queen Mary is
going to be Friday night. So details of krock.com.
We're looking for single people in about 20 minutes.

(20:01):
That's coming. Up I may not make it.
I may not make it on Friday night.
Well, we have to deal with a problem that's going on in the
office with Ralph Carmen. We're starting to lose him into
his smartphone. I won't be at the the prom
Friday night unless I said you were level 34.
If I'm not past level 34, I'm just staying home to get past
level 30. 4 Ralph is a little bit obsessed with, and by a
little bit, I mean completely Candy Crush.

(20:22):
It's impossible to do, that's why it.
Is I agree I. Can't drop all the ingredients
down to the bottom. I just can't make it happen.
No one can. But you've gotten through 29
levels. No, I'm up to 343434.
It's been like a week now. I'm on 30.
And you're stuck on 34. Because it can't be done.
Well, it clearly can, because. People have been up to no.
No, no. People have been up to like

(20:44):
level 100. I hate those people.
Well, I'm 34, I'm an 81. Wait to get to 81.
That's really hard. Screw you, 34 is impossible.
Now, Ralph, we should, we shouldtell people what the Candy Crush
Saga is. For people who don't know, it is
the most popular game in the world, right?
Now, yes, and I'm not a game guy.
I don't do the games. For this reason.
I play a little word with words with friends.

(21:05):
I dabble in that right some. Some literally with some
friends, but I was never like a guy who downloads games and
whatnot and what have. You How'd you get started this?
I my my wife's family OK heard them talking about it and how
much they enjoyed it and they lied.
No one could enjoy this. Didn't you enjoy getting past
the 1st 34 levels? I enjoyed getting past the 1st

(21:26):
20 OK, then it started to bog down a little bit.
Now it's just it's an exercise in frustration and anger for me
because you only get to 5 lines and you burn through those in
about 8 minutes. But.
Can't you spend real money on more lines?
Yes, and that's where I'm on theprecipice now.
I vowed that I would never buy more.
Lives. That's a little pathetic to buy
more lives. It's the worst, it really is.

(21:47):
You get you get for like $0.99 you can buy five more lives per.
Any game, if you're spending real money on it, it's not good.
It's like a deal. It's not a deal, Lisa.
It's a free. It's a.
Racket. It's a free game.
Right, I shouldn't have to pay for a free game.
And most people don't. At some point, Ralph.
That's true. What are you?
What are you playing? What are you playing on?

(22:08):
I'm playing on my Galaxy, my Samsung Galaxy.
OK, the smartphone version of Candy Crush Saga has 440 levels,
and you're at what? 34.
Maybe let's just consider this just for a second.
Maybe you should just walk away.That is no longer an option.
I know, but by the time you get past 34, you've still got

(22:29):
another 330 some levels to go. That's not good.
This will not beat me this game.It already has.
We'll take it personally. You really do.
I I've been playing this game now for a couple weeks, and you
really start to feel like they're fixing it against you.
Like they're like, OK, maybe there's some sort of spin.
Like it's like a Vegas, you know?
That you can't beat. Yeah, maybe there's some sort of

(22:51):
wrinkle in it that they put in. Unless you pay for the lives.
Oh, no, they don't let you through that.
The free lives never get throughand stuff.
I don't know how it works, but something's up.
Something's What about What about the king, though, who's on
level 85? Can he help you?
But he has other people. He had like guests playing for
him the other day. He has somebody else come in and
play for him. He's like, oh, I can't get past
this level. So like one of the, the

(23:13):
publicist people who are here, she's like, oh, I'm really,
that's easy. Let me do it.
Took his his iPad and started knocking out levels for him.
For like 1/2 hour she did it andRalph's not going to give in to
that if. You're not doing it yourself.
What's the point? Ralph, would you like to talk to
Brenna who is on level 440? No, I hate her.
I don't want to talk to Brenna. But Brenna knows she's been past
level 34. Brenna.

(23:35):
Yeah. What kind of empty life do you
have? Maybe this is really good for
the government. We're on furloughs.
We're. Enough of the time.
All right, well, what about Ralph's question, which is is
the game rigged against free users, and do you have to pay to
buy lives in order to get as high up as you are?
I have never once. Paid for anything in this game?

(23:56):
Yeah, you're a liar. So how long did it take you?
How much time did it take you toget to level 440?
Couple months, Couple months I'mnever going to get the only
reason I'm only at 4:40. Is that's where the levels stop
on the mobile app? All right, take it.
Easy. Now do you remember any of the
levels as being particularly tough?

(24:17):
Like do you look back and go, wow, 34 was rough.
Yeah, that's more like, oh man, 237 was awful.
I have the. Hardest time getting those
ingredients to drop? Brenna, what's the secret to
getting the ingredients to drop?You have to get three in a row
round I'm. OK with getting rid of the
Jelly, I'm OK with getting the points in the certain amount of
time. I'm good with those types games,

(24:37):
but it's the ingredients that drop are hard.
Get the exploding one. Yeah, I know.
I've been trying. It's hard and a game is hard.
I don't feel like you're helpingBrenna.
Is it the hardest game in the world it?
May be the hardest game in the world.
Start playing this game to get tickets from us from now on.
Oh, yeah. Help you.
Yeah. Brenna, thank you so much for
the call. I appreciate that.

(24:57):
You know, we didn't even ask forcalls on this, but the phone
lines, you're just blowing up with advice for Ralph Garber.
Let's go to Jenny. She's on line 5.
She might be able to help you out here.
Ralph. Right.
Jenny, Hi. How are you?
I'm frustrated, Jenny. That's what I am.
I'm frustrated with Candy Crush.Don't be frustrated, I don't
know if this is going to help you or hurt you, but you can get
more lives for free. He.

(25:18):
Doesn't have to pay for him. I know right?
My cousin just told me about this the other day and I don't
admit to playing Candy Crush to anybody.
Right, but you do. What I do and when I run out of
lives I get pissed and I don't want to ask my friends.
Because you have. To put your phone down for like
2 hours to get your lives back. I know, right?
Yeah. So all you need to do is go into
your phone settings right and reset the date and time.

(25:39):
Well, that sounds convenient. It's.
Convenient, it's a 99 set button.
Yeah, I think my but you can do it.
Maybe worth more than 90. Nine.
No, but you can do that endlessly.
Literally you go in and click settings, click date and time.
Click on the time and you're reset.
I if I set it for the the real time, as long as I reset it,
I'll get more lines. Absolutely.

(26:00):
Oh, Jenny, I want to give you a big wet kiss.
There you go. That's a pretty good tip.
Right there, that's a pretty good deal made.
My day. That's a pretty good.
Jenny right there. Thank you for the call.
Let's go to Jamie. He's on line three.
Shoot me. She's on line 3.
She's gone a different way, Ralph.
She's just decided to pay her way up the ladder.
Hey, Jamie. Hey, party people.
It's a cautionary tale for Ralph.
What? Have you spent on Candy Crush so

(26:21):
far, Jamie? Easily $100.
Jamie. My.
God, Jamie A. $100. Are easy on lollipop hammers.
The extra lives, the bonds when you get the bombs and you need
five extra bombs. For the.
Pull on. You are.

(26:42):
You are their favorite customer.Yeah, you're kidding now, the
sucker. Jamie, let me play.
Let me play. Doctor Drew here for a moment.
Do you feel ashamed and embarrassed when you spend
money? And at some point, do you say
I'm never going to buy anymore again on this game?
Yes. You still go, but you're
addicted. Like, I'm like, OK, just, you

(27:06):
know, $5 more, just five. Sure.
It's always just a little bit more, right?
This is Kevin in Vegas. All right, You're going to be.
Doing guys behind a dumpster behind a 711 to get candy.
Crush money? What?
What level are you up to? Jamie, 340. 5.
Wow, that's pretty strong that. Might be worth 100 bucks to get
a 340. Do you feel like it's worth it

(27:26):
or do you think it was a good investment?
Are you happy about where you'reat?
I'm happy about where I'm at. Is that a good investment?
No, probably not. You're embarrassed by 100 bucks
and you said easily 100 bucks. All right, thank you for
calling. We appreciate it.
I would like to talk to Veronicareal quick.
Hi, Veronica. Hey, guys.
So tell Ralph what you told our phone Screener.
I when 1 self mentioned level 34I went back to level 34 and I

(27:50):
passed it at a red light. All right, at a red light.
Screw you. She got through level 34 at a
red light. Special hope you get T-bone of
the next intersection. Any tips?
Anything you can share with Ralph to help him do that?
He makes the colorful chocolate bombs, right?
The stripes. OK, so you take you take the

(28:12):
ones you get for matching four in a row and you take the
chocolate bomb and you mix it with that and that blows up more
stuff. Yeah.
And once you blow everything up,three of them fall or whatever
you have on the screen at that time.
Whatever ingredients, they all go down.
All the ingredients will go down.
Not all of them, just whatever is on the screen.
What's whatever is showing on the screen already?
That's freaking genius. Hey, there you go.
It's hard to get five in a row to get the chocolate bomb.

(28:35):
It was already set up once. I once I went on there was 2 on
in the middle row, there was 2 on the top and two on the bottom
and I just shifted one to the left.
Yeah, you're, you're a bright, bright woman, Veronica.
And by the way, respect. We we have a no texting while
driving policy. That's the official rule to show
here. How about playing Candy Crush?
Well, that's cool, right? Yeah, nothing safe.

(28:58):
Do you guys ever play that game?No, no, yeah, I have no idea
what they're talking. About No, I remember it being
really popular, Yeah. And I can imagine Ralph playing
it and getting really upset and breaking several phones.
I played it for like, I don't know, 10 levels.
It was fun but I don't know, didn't grab me some other games.

(29:20):
I haven't touched it. The wife and I, we play mobile
games, but we're like that one person called in like we have
never spent a penny on it. I think like the worst thing
I've ever done was Google will give you back some credit
sometime. And with Pokémon Go when that
was a thing, like I bought Pokeballs so we can stay out
there with the group longer. So that's that's it.

(29:40):
I virtual money for virtual games.
Yeah, my ex-wife gives my kid money for her games and I refuse
to so. But she I was tempted a few
times, like on Candy Crush. But I'm like, Nah, I'm not gonna
spend real money. Yeah.
No, no, no. Keep my money in my pocket.

(30:03):
All right. Shall I take over?
I'll take over, Yeah. Bring up that problem on the
number 300. We just we need to put that fire
up. You get it.
And. When you want her to pull out
your podcast, we got. It hello too happy goodbye to

(30:26):
the Blues Yankee. Podcast Nah, no other clips.
Sorry, ran out of time this week.
Not a lot of time. I did grab one from the Not
Today podcast about the 5:00 AM club.
Like there's this whole concept,I don't know if you've heard of

(30:47):
it. It's like the 5:00 AM club where
people are deliberately. Sounds terrible.
It's like go to bed at 5:00 AM cuz that's.
Usually what I do. I can do that.
That's when the existential dread wears off and I finally I
wear myself out. That's when the panic attack
wears me out so much I just I pass out from being exhausted.
And it basically you did the 5:00 AM club, yeah.

(31:08):
I did it for like a good year, eight months, 8 months, every
day, 5:00 AM every day. But the part that killed me was
I'm a night owl, right? And you have to wake up at 5:00.
Every day, no matter what, No. Matter what?
Yeah. Did it interrupt your night
owlness? Like after a while were you
crashing out like 10:00 PM? It helped but there were nights
or 7:30 I was like oh it is bedtime I.

(31:31):
Can't. That's crazy.
I can't. Comprehend 730 bedtime Sleep
deprived Alex is even worse thannormal Alex.
Yeah. Just a giant.
So what would you? Do Snickers commercial, would
you? Do at 5:00.
AM. Well, they make you.
They make you like break it downinto like a couple of different
things. You wake up at 5:00 AM, you do
20 minutes of exercise, you reflect on your goals for 20

(31:54):
minutes, and then you learn a new skill for 20 minutes.
Wait, reflect on your goal. You sit there and go, I'm just
going to do this today and that today.
That's fucking you. Really focus in on what's
important at 5:00 AM sleep. Sleep is important at 5:00 AM.
That's the most important thing at 5:00 AM is sleep.
I don't know. I'm always awake at like 4:30 no

(32:16):
matter what. I can't.
I go to sleep about 1 and I wakeup at 4:30.
You're doing it wrong. I'm a single parent.
I can't sleep is some a luxury Ican't afford.
So right. Well, but I only I only need
about four hours of sleep tops. And then I speak well all day,

(32:38):
right, Lindsay? You're doing great, sweetie.
You're own, Ray. Park on goods.
More More discussion about sleep.
Here's Jen Sturger with an Ambien story must.
Be nice, I don't sleepy. Dude, when I took Ambien back in
like 2008, I had spent the day making a trace leche's cake for

(33:03):
for somebody's birthday. The next day they.
Didn't get that cake, did they? Apparently I so I woke up the
next day and I went where the fuck is my cake cause the cake
was. Gone trace leche is.
Gone. Apparently my roommate goes Jen,
I came out at 3:00 AM 'cause I heard noise and you were butt

(33:24):
naked eating a cake with your bare hands.
Trace Leche's is not easy to eatwithout silverware guys.
And you make you clean up the mess.
It's literally 3 milks in Spanish.
OK, see look, that's stuck. There you go, some Spanish
stuck. Good for you.
I was eating it with my bare hands, like Jennifer's body, you
know what I mean? Like the word she's like just

(33:45):
eating there, eating the raw chicken.
It was that, but I was like crouched down like.
And you cleaned it up though. No, my hands were still sticky
when I woke. Up gross, gross.
Dress Letch's cake is hard to eat Dress Letch's cake is hard
to eat with a fork. I couldn't imagine eating it

(34:05):
with my hands. And second thought, how did she
not? How did she not notice that her
hands were sticky? I mean, she woke up.
Are her hands just normally sticky when she wakes up?
I did. Possible.
Maybe. All right, let's go over to the
Ralph report. Queen Jay has been out for a

(34:27):
bit, her shoulders acting up. Here is Ralph and Eddie talking
about her chronic pain. Interesting weekend here at the
Garmin household. As you can imagine, because of
Queen Jane's Queen Jane, Queen Jay's booze is kicking in.
Queen Jay's pain or Queen Jane'spay?

(34:47):
Queen Jane, Queen Jane. We've been, we've been.
It's been rough. That sucks.
Nothing worse than chronic pain.It's just been the worst.
And no, you can't feel any more helpless than you do when a
loved 1 is in pain and you just stand there staring at her like
a fucking golden retriever. Then you can do wondering where

(35:09):
the tennis ball went. You can do you just crook your
head sometimes and you're just like, I'm going to leave.
I'd rather take it. If I could take it, I'd take it
in a heartbeat. Yeah, I'd rather deal with the
pain than I can deal with the pain.
And then she wouldn't have to deal with it.
And then I could just, you know,do whatever I do.
I get hammered. I don't need Vicodin.
I got. Jameson's Yeah.

(35:30):
And it's always hard watching somebody that's hurting that you
love. And, and Jameson's always helps.
That's what I've learned. I've learned that in life.
Jameson's in Jack Daniels. Yep.
Oh, let me play something from the group chat that they're
trying to send. They're sending us to try and
distract us. Here we go.
It's Cliff Torres. All right.

(35:51):
I'll call it out when it's readyfor you, Torres.
Yeah. Thank you.
Give me the fake names. It was Craven Morehead.
Yeah, no worries. Wonderful.
Craven Morehead. Craven More.
Yeah, excellent. All right, next on Ralph Report.
It was Saint Patrick's Day on Monday, so here's Ralph talking

(36:11):
about Saint Patty's and drinking.
If I had drunk into myself, intounconsciousness and then you
wouldn't and they were just talking at me, you wouldn't hear
it. I would.
I'd hear it. I wouldn't be able to respond.
It's like a coma. It's more of a coma.
Exactly. It's a coma conversation, much
like a coma conversation. But I can respond here now to
you because I pull a couple of the phone calls that I hear and

(36:33):
I put them in this segment. It's called Garmi on the line.
No, it's not. It's not what it's called at
all. It's called Garmi on the line.
The phone is, I think another shot.
I think I need another shot. You didn't even.
You fucked up the call thing already.

(36:54):
No, we're never going to get through this shot.
That's how I can tell him you need another shot.
Jesus Christ. Can't fly on one wing.
No, you can't. It's better to fly with no
wings. I almost tried to put the cap on
the shot glass. Say this.
Is that a good thought? Going to go well.
Maybe that's what I need. I need to give up the coffee and
take up the drinking. That'll help.

(37:15):
Never hurt anyone. Next show, drinking show for
Chris, just for Chris. Yeah, we need another one.
We do. We need to schedule 1.
All right, let's go over to the 3/4 Human podcast, right?
Lindsay Courtney is talking someKevin and Bean.

(37:37):
Courtney, Kevin and Bean, what can you tell us about?
Let's start with that Kevin and Bean on KROQ.
Kevin and Bean were iconic radiohosts on KROQ, known for their
irreverent humor and long running morning show.
They were a staple in LA radio, blending comedy, music and
interviews. Their legacy is still strong in
the radio world. Don't get a big head, Kevin.

(38:01):
So he knew what the Kevin Bean show was, a little bit of a
search. They also asked them about the
ACT that they're not speak it's name.
I'm just going to leave that oneout.
We're not going to bring that up, Not going to talk about that
one. But there was this other
discussion on language that Kevin brought up.
All right, I have one more storyabout yes please using correct
language. This was a different time.

(38:22):
I would like to remind everybodythis was in the 90's.
The 90s were very different thannow.
On the radio. And the the the R word is now no
longer proper to say. And that happened sort of in the
late 90s where it went out of fashion.
So we went on and looked up synonyms for the R.

(38:47):
Word. And I swear to God, one of them
that we adopted and used for 15 years was window liquor.
That is an actual synonym. Yep, of the R.
Word not good, that's how is that acceptable, right?
How is that acceptable? Why it's worse?

(39:08):
Yes, that is much worse. But it was acceptable.
Edwin, your thoughts on that? I'm trying to think of what I
can say to not get in trouble myself.
OK, good. Well I do remember they used to
call Nick that. Never.
That was his original name. Yes.
I think it was better than the Rword to be honest, but probably

(39:31):
neither. Not that nice.
Yeah, I know, not a very. I'm having a whole fast.
Fascinating episode. I'm getting restracted myself.
Tustin auto show. I think so.
Is that a thing? Did I pull out of body
reference? No, I think it's AI think that's
an auto dealership you. Really.
Yeah, Testing out a. Cerritos auto Saver.

(39:53):
Thank you. Sorry.
Yeah, they're cars for kids. All right, speaking to the old
Kevin and Bean show, Bean playeda little Rick DS at the start of
1 of this week's podcast and then he brought up a little bit
of and then Ali brought up some of the things they did on the
show. Like like let's say you had

(40:15):
heard that Rick Deez didn't do the first hour or so of the show
live. I.
Don't know that we need to get in all of that, I don't think
we. Need Would you park in front of
his home and harass the man as he left for work?
Would something like that have been what you did?
I just want to stop it here. Ally's incorrect.
It wasn't Bean in front of his house.

(40:35):
It was Michael. The maintenance man.
Got to get it right. Yeah.
Bean never went to anybody's house.
Like that might have happened, but again, 30 years ago,
something like that would never happen today, ever, ever, ever.
We've all grown up, we've all moved on.
And I've told you before, by theway, that there's this part of
me that wants to reach out to Rick and see if I could not

(40:57):
create a friendship. I'm not naive about that.
I'd love to interview him. I'd love to have him on to talk
about his radio career. So Bean wants to have him on.
Have a bonus. He's so.
Great. I'm not kidding.
Yeah, he should, yeah. I think we should do a Rick D's
impersonation and invite him onto our show, but not tell him

(41:18):
it's us, tell him it's Rick D's and then that's how we get him
on. That's how we we do it through,
through my. Sure.
I I wish I did a good Rick D's impersonation.
I can't really do any impersonations at all.
Been doing a surprisingly good one back in the day I remember.
You can do Sylvester Stallone. I no, I can't even do that

(41:42):
really when I'm trying. All right, let's go over here.
Jodi, our friend Jodi, who was on the podcast a couple weeks
ago, she got a call in. So let's play that one.
Next one again, not an Almost Famous I don't think, but still
a fun call back. Hi alien bean, this is my almost
famous story. I forgot it's also Jodi doing

(42:04):
some more ASMR for us. Whispering Cheese this Jodie.
I think the police need to do a welfare check on her and find
out why she can only call us from the closet under the
stairs. But yeah, she's definitely
whispering again. One of my neighbors is an
aeronautical engineer and he communicates with the
International Space Station, so he will update their systems and

(42:24):
if they have a tech issue he'll resolve it.
And every single time I'm in theelevator with him, I want to
ask. Satellites go into space.
It was a great question that wasasked by Kevin Ryder on the
show. 1 Day did not understand how satellites worked or where
they were. A great moment with Kevin.

(42:45):
Thank you for the flashback on that, Jody.
Fun fact. Yes.
I was at home sick that day. Oh, I missed the satellites
going into. Space.
Comment yes I've never had FOMO before like I had that day when
I was a good one played back I was like God bless this man.
It was a good one, man. Hall of Fame.
Hall of Fame. Hall of Fame indeed is.

(43:10):
That the same 1 he had trouble figuring out what space was and
where it was. I don't know, I wish I had
pulled it so I could hear. It to be continued, folks.
To be continued. But no, they were talking about
satellites, and he was just confused as to where they went,
Right, Lindsay? I believe that was in our 12
Days of Kev dog song. Oh.

(43:33):
Yeah, a brief, brief, brief. I can try to find it.
Hold on. If not immediately so continue.
All right, well, that is all I got because, you know, I'm lazy.

(43:53):
Alex Trebek, if anybody has anything bad to say about this
roundup, what do you say? Fuck them.
That's right. Thanks, Alex.
Hey, Wigta was. I have the satellites clip,
yeah. Flat Earthers are still a thing.
Yeah. How is that possible?
Let's take them out. We got no more room.

(44:13):
How? Is it possible we didn't get
time, we didn't get time to to delve back into this after the
show started, But to the rapper Bob has a GoFundMe page.
He wants to put his own satellites in space to prove
that the Earth is flat. If all these go in space.
Yeah, of course. Where do you think they go,
Kevin? Was that a legitimate question,
Kevin? I think they're in the orbit.

(44:36):
Where do you? Think, Oh my God, what do you
think the orbit is? All right, let's move on.
No, come on. This is goddamn fascinating.
Where do you have like going space around a planet?
How can I take the headline awayfrom Bob?
All right, that's a TLDR. Oh man.

(45:00):
Press the button, my friend. Send me back into time.
Edwin, our listener. Edwin, he's a funny man.
Edwin's funny pretty much every time.
Funny, funny, man. Good morning.

(45:28):
How are you? Good day, mates.
I'm doing the week that was March 17th of 2120.
Fourteen. Yeah, that clip is OK.
Mr. played a little bit of it. It's one of the best moments
with Kevin you'll ever hear. Matter of fact, I'm just going

(45:49):
to jump to that right now. So this is they're coming out of
a commercial and this is what happened.
Good morning. How are you?

(46:12):
Oh my God, sorry. Sorry, let's try that again.
Well, it was 6.7 K. Rock is KROQ.
This is the Kevin and Bean show.And now it's time for a moment

(46:32):
with Kevin. All right.
Monday morning we have an all new Kevin and Bean show.
I'll still be here in Miami. I don't know that I'll be able
to speak any better than now. That was a moment with Kevin.
And then the one before it. And the one before it.

(46:52):
The best one ever. So what they did is Kevin was
just supposed to play a clip. This was a pre production deal
and instead he messed it up and he played a moment with.
So let's go to what he was supposed to do.
Good morning. How are you?
What? What's so fun?
Your Holiness, the F word is is bad here as well.

(47:17):
Oh, did I say it's something wrong?
Yes, in the United States English.
English is not of my first language, right?
We know. Yeah, I must have.
I must have mistakenly said a different word.
I'm sorry. That must be embarrassing when
you do that because everybody's paying such close attention to.
You, yes, I tried to speak the language properly and then the
next thing people are saying I mispronounce and one thing means

(47:38):
something else. So I don't know.
It's hard, you know, when you have so many who are watching
you so carefully, you know? You can't say either of those
words. It means the people who gather
prefer to listen to That's a crowd.
Oh, crowd, Yes. Oh, a crap.
Very different. That's not.

(47:58):
Got it. Stop saying that word.
I tried to learn how to say the right thing.
That was a. Really bad word.
OK, it's a bad word. I'm not saying that no more.
OK, got it. Make a note.
OK, so do you have somebody likegoing over your speeches now to
make sure that you're. Yes, I have, because, you know,
Italian is also not my first language, right?
So now I have this who works forme.

(48:22):
He has to go over everything I say to make sure it's proper,
what I'm putting into words intothe speech.
I don't think the word is allowed.
Not. Either that's allowed, that's
another bad word. Here, that's a bad word too,
yes, it doesn't mean the guy whogoes over like proofreader.
No, it doesn't mean proofreader at all.

(48:43):
They're so similar, those two words.
Proofreader. No, no, not even close.
Mixed up? Yeah, let me make a note.
Make another note. Seriously, please stop.
Saying that word. I'm sorry again, it's not my
first language so you know I just my balls are up there for
me. I don't know what that means,
but you could say it. I could say that.

(49:04):
Yeah, you can, but I'm not sure.You, I'm out there in front of
everyone, balls out all the time, right?
And so next thing you know, I'm,you know.
That's acceptable, but probably not advisable for the.
Post embarrassing for me. Well, I guess this is helpful
then, but. Helpful because the next thing
you know, I make a big toll of myself.
I don't think you meant that. I think you meant.

(49:26):
Oh, all right. Good.
This has been very helpful. So glad God.
Bless you both. Yeah, I need the unbleeped
version of that bit, so I guess that makes sense.
The bit. The bit comes from the Pope,
right? There's something happened with

(49:47):
the Pope where he said somethingin Italian.
That's. Not, as you said, the wrong
Italian word that experiment theF word in Italian.
Yeah, so he was giving a speech in Italian.
He basically told everybody fuckoff.
And so that's why the Pope called cursing.
But also, if you listen to the 3/4 Human podcast, Marcy says
that they're going to get rid ofthe FCC, so you'll be able to

(50:08):
curse on radio. On broadcast.
How interesting. Thanks, President Trump.
Yeah. Something out of this.
Interesting, now that the three people that still listen to
radio, they can hear the world, motherfucker.
Now the radio's over. You're turning 95.
Five fuck FM. Anybody fucking listening to us?
No. OK.

(50:30):
Let's move on from the potty mouths.
But I got one of my own from from Harvey, from what you call
it. What you call it?
TMZ Jeez, Mark. The time.
Mark that. Yeah, Mark that.
OK, so after Kevin screws up that whole bit, here's Ralph

(50:50):
telling us what happened behind the scenes.
There was a moment in today's show, which may be you may go
down in history, you know, Can you imagine in a long line of
Kevin F UPS, This one just beingso spectacular that we had to
revisit it. Just we don't have to.
The premise was Kevin of the Kevin Bean Show was going to

(51:12):
speak with Pope Francis, right Holy Father of the Catholic
Church, and talk about his recent snafu where he used the
wrong Italian word in the speechmeant to say one thing ended up
saying the F word in Italian and.
And it was funny. All right, time for the.
Chairman was was supposed to just to just to go to the phone
just talk to the Pope and it just madness just ensued and

(51:36):
Kevin was trying to play different elements to enhance
somehow the segment and it'd endup being a fiery car wreck radio
just a big Lisa would put a sig alert on this if it was on the
if it was on the freeway. There have been looky loos going
in both directions pulling over to see the carnage come on that
happened on the airwaves. So here's a little taste of what

(51:56):
you missed. Good morning.
How are you? My God.
Sorry, sorry. Let's try that again.

(52:21):
Come on. Yeah, that was the intro to the
segment. That's too long for a moment
with. That's like 1/2.
Hour with It's a special It's a special movie of the week.
He started playing the recorded segment and the phone was
supposed to didn't ring. It wasn't even supposed to ring
and things were and This is why I started.

(52:41):
Buttons were pushed and Kevin lost it and.
I lost it because what I was looking for and was unable to
find was a moment with me. Yeah, ain't that something?
I've gotten up a moment to say that I couldn't be Pope because
I make too many mistakes in the English language and I couldn't
find the moment with. Yeah, wow, that happened that.

(53:04):
Is not. Good, that's for.
Real. Why are you out there?
I'm happy you are. I don't understand it.
There must be a lot of masochistic people out there who
like to listen to bad radio on the way to work and school.
Well, I think we make them feel better about themselves.
That's very possible. That may be the only possible
reasonable answer why anyone would listen to this show.

(53:25):
Because they listen to Go. Damn, I bet I'm so much better
at my job and those guys are theirs.
I feel pretty good right now. I didn't.
I didn't think I was much this morning, but now I know that was
better than those guys. Not proud of that.
Most moments with I can let go and laugh at and have a good
time and go home. This one's going to bug me for a
while. Yeah, it's going to bug all of

(53:45):
us. It's going to haunt our
nightmares. Don't feel that, Kevin.
It was very entertaining. Let's go back to the beginning
of the week. This was Monday, March. 17 Wait,
wait, hold on. So that was a moment with Kevin,
but it was because he played thewrong sound effect, right?
Not because he couldn't speak. Yeah, well they had a pre

(54:07):
recorded thing apparently. I think that's the only way he
could do it to beep out the stuff.
Then he played the phone thing after the beginning.
It was pretty fun if you ask me.So moments can be something
that's not. I know exactly where.
You're going not this again. Not even close.
There was no and now that's the moment of Kevin.
Enough. There was no.

(54:28):
That was a moment with Kevin. There no Rejected.
I'm just wondering what the the rules are.
This is a bonus episode. Lindsay and Christopher battle
this out. Lindsay's right, so it doesn't
matter. Let's go back.
This is March 17th, 2014. They have Harvey Levin from TMZ

(54:48):
on. See, I got it all right that
time, I think. When that stuff happens, it's
really hard for them to conform when they've never learned it in
the first place. And you know, and in some ways
that's do you just feel. That yes, we did.
Sorry, can can we get off the? Phone.
Yes, we can, but because. You keep using.
I didn't even notice he did that.

(55:08):
Yep, twice. That was a pretty big
earthquake. Wow, we will.
Pretty big. We will take a break and come
right back. So right in the middle of the
Harvey Levin interview with an earthquake kit.
And it's funny because when theyhit the button, it kind of
erases, I think 5 seconds or 10.So you don't know what happened,
but they went back to it, told us what happened.

(55:29):
We were talking a few minutes ago off the air about the
earthquake this morning that we thought was a 4.7.
Turned out to be a 4.4. Probably disappointed that it
was downgraded. But I tweeted thanks to Harvey
Levin from TMZ because we were on the air with Harvey at the
time. And the building started shaking
and Harvey in his potty mouth said the S word.

(55:51):
And then I thanked him for usingthat word.
And then he said it again. And I tweeted that and somebody
said they needed to hear tape ofit.
So this is Harvey Levin from three hours ago this morning
when the earthquake hit. And, you know, and in some ways
that's a little bit of an excusefor them, but you look at people
like Lindsay Lohan and Chris Brown, we're having a.
Pretty big, Pretty big earthquake right now.

(56:11):
You just feel that. Yes, we did.
Oh yeah. Yes, we did.
We're. Still feeling it?
And we're on the air, so we appreciate the use of that word.
Holy. Hey guys.
OK, sorry, can can we get off the?
Phone. Yes, we can.
Nicely done. Yes, you can, because you keep
using that word. You keep using that.
Word. I just thanked him and he said

(56:34):
it worse. That was excellent.
Good work, Harvey. There was no bell for Lisa
saying I'm still feeling it. Yeah, it should have been
retroactive, Bell. Retroactive.
No, I was. Going to say that whole
interaction needed the porn music around it and porn music.
We'll fix it in post. Did you guys, were you guys ever

(56:58):
listening to the radio when one of the big earthquake hits?
Cuz I think it was the Whittier Narrows.
I was listening and I heard the DJ say oh, it's an earthquake.
I'm like what are you talking about?
And like a second later, it hit.Yeah, and I believe when I was
in junior high school, I I was listening while one of them

(57:18):
happened. It's a pretty big one.
It was like 6.6 but it was my first.
Earthquake. And the car drove away.
But it was my first earthquake. Being awake, I've normally slept
through all of them. And so I didn't think it was
that bad of an earthquake. And I still walked to school.
That might have been the same one.
Yeah, it was the one I was talking about.
It was like around 7:00 AM 7/30.No, OK.

(57:41):
Yeah, it was real. Yeah, that was about that time,
probably, yeah. But I didn't realize it was a
really bad earthquake. Walk to school.
When I got to school, they were like, what the fuck are you
doing here? And so I had to.
I had to stay in school until they got picked until I got
picked up. When was this?
Is it like 1989 or something? Yeah, that sounds about right.
Yeah, I think it was. It wasn't the Northridge, OK was

(58:05):
it? It was the no.
What are your? Narratives.
The 9 was the one in San Francisco.
Northridge was when I was old enough to remember it.
We, we, you and I were in 3rd grade for that, yeah.
Something like that, yeah. I don't know.
I was in junior high. I was getting ready for school

(58:27):
and earthquake went. That wasn't too bad.
I went to school like a dumbass,like a monkey.
Next up, we have beauty tips from a Hollywood star.
The lovely and talented ShaileneWoodley, who I grow more in love
with each and every day. She's the star of the new film

(58:47):
Divergent that comes up. I believe it's this weekend.
She's got an interesting beauty regimen.
You know, actresses will often share their tips with the
mortals. Just a quick cut in.
Lindsay knows what's coming. She's laughing already.
Do you want to say I don't know if that means stop or I'm going
to get it? Or sunshine on my bed.

(59:10):
Makes. Me happy.
This is where that all started. Here's what she says.
First of all, eat clay. You should eat clay.
Eat. Clay.
Sorry. Just hang on.
Eat some clay. Eat.
Clay I got in trouble for that when I was a kid.
Yeah, well, you're doing the right thing.
Some women just put it on their faces as a mask.
She eats it. I've discovered clay is great

(59:31):
for you because your body doesn't absorb it.
What good is it doing for you then?
By the way, if that's the. Case it's like a bad idea.
It provides a negative charge, so it bonds to negative
isotopes. It helps clean heavy metals out
of your body. Yeah.
What cleans the clay out of yourbody though?
Once you've eaten a bunch of clay, you got a gut full of
clay. She also brushes her teeth of

(59:53):
oil because plaque on your teethis not water soluble.
It's fat soluble. Where is she getting?
Her science from Jenny McCarthy,by the way, I'm fascinated with.
She's got negative isotopes flowing around, she's got oil in
her mouth. But her real secret for energy?
Is is sunbathing her vagina? That is not the case.
I like to give my vagina a little vitamin D, she said.

(01:00:15):
Yeah, I like to give her a little vitamin D.
Yes, we know what that. Says, I don't think you do.
I'm talking about this, right? This injection right here.
I like to inject some vitamin D Stop pointing.
I'd like to get a syringe of vitamin D, right?
If you're feeling depleted, go in the sun and expose your
vagina to the sun for an hour and see how much energy you get.
What the hell? Or if you live in a place that

(01:00:37):
has heavy winters, when the sun finally comes out, spread your
legs and get some sunshine. So there you go, lady.
Ladies, All right, science. You will get more energy, Lisa,
if you get some sun on your vajayjay.
Going to do that today. All right, I'll let you know
how. Where's that going to happen, by
the way? It's going to be Woodbridge
Park. Where are you going to be?
Absolutely. That's a good place.
Where? Are you going to be sunny?
Lots of sun. Yeah, there's a lot of sun.

(01:00:58):
Spread out a blanket. Sure.
She said that she studied about yeast, infectious and other
genital issues and this is this is a way to keep your vagina
healthy. A lot of sunshine.
Get some science. The sun don't shine, as they
say. Oh, this is what's fun about
listening to the old shows that just came up.
Like, wait, is that? And it was Bean was on vacation.

(01:01:20):
So I'm like, where's the famous clip?
And then he came back. I looked it up and here's when
he made it. Sunshine on my vagina makes me
happy. Oh wait, that's not being Here's
me. Sunshine on my vagina makes me

(01:01:41):
happy. It's still good, still good,
right, Christopher? Excellent.
This is one of those deals whereI was trying to find that clip
and you know, you type Sunshine or Shailene Woodley, it didn't
come up. Thank God Christopher had it.
Yeah. Remember what was the one?
It was the I'm just about. I'm an old man.

(01:02:02):
I can hardly see, I can hardly talk.
We looked for that for weeks. Sometimes you just can't find
them because they're not labeledthat one.
I just can't have that one. I just can't wait to see Edwin's
search history of sunshine and Jolly.
Yeah. That's the best part there.
Yeah, you can only mention I hope my wife never looks at my
browser history. So that inspired Kevin and Bean

(01:02:26):
to do a call in of weird beauty secrets.
It was awful. I'm only playing this one for
Christopher, but Kevin and Bean listeners are nuts.
And let's end with Danielle. Hi there.
Hi. Your friend's grandma grandpa
has a beauty tip. Grandmother My friend's

(01:02:46):
grandmother used to wash her face with her first pee in the
morning. Really.
Oh. My God, yeah, she would.
She would get up and she would pee on soda.
Soda. She'd pee on the towel and wash
her face with it. OK.
There's no one. What?
What does she look like? Hold.
The wrinkly. Awesome, awesome skin, I'll give

(01:03:08):
her that, but it was not something I was willing to try.
Yeah, yeah. But wait, you, you want awesome
skin, don't you? Not that bad.
Get to peeing. She looks great.
She smells not. So good.
I'm sorry guys, that's for Christopher.
I got to give him something for all the hard.
Work that. That wasn't even the worst one.
Don't right say it. Don't say.

(01:03:28):
It was. Oh.
God, don't say it. It was bad, that whole stigma.
Did I? Yeah, I know.
We're moving on. We're moving on.
Let's end this with a celebrity birthday, Eddie Money.
Now Kevin Smith was in the studio, and he demanded that
Ralph tell the Eddie Money story.
Eddie Money calls up the show 1 year and says, Ralph, I really

(01:03:50):
appreciate you being there for me and, and and carrying the
torch and stuff. And I said, well Eddie, I'm a
huge fan. He said, well listen, I'm
playing at the Orange County Fair and if you would like well
I'll do the show and then for the finale, I invite you out on
stage and you and I will performtogether on Sing with Eddie
Money. Get out of here.
Did that happen? This is this is a Make a Wish
Foundation moment for me where Iget to go on stage with Eddie

(01:04:10):
Money when has happened. This is a couple years ago.
So I go down there to the OC Fair and I go to Eddie's giant
RV dressing room thing and we sit down.
He pulls out his guitar and we rehearse.
We're going to do one of his songs from his first album
called Rock'n'roll Star Wannabe,a Rock'n'roll *.
So we rehearse. He said.
You do that line and I'm going to do this line.
So he knows you can sing at thatwe're going to do.

(01:04:31):
We did, we harmonize it and thenwe'll sing this together and
it'll be great and the whole thing.
So I said great, he goes, you stand in the wings.
And then after I do 2 tickets, that'll be the first encore,
then I'll invite you out, I'll introduce you.
And then we sing Wannabe Rock'n'roll Star.
And that's the end. I said this is going to be the
greatest. So Dave Sanchez, our now

(01:04:54):
producer, was just a lackey at the time.
We brought him down to film it because we wanted to get
videotape of it. And so he's sitting in the
audience suffering through any money.
He's not an any Money fan. Two tickets to hell.
I'm standing on this side and Eddie out there. 2 tickets to
Paradise Place goes crazy. Eddie Money.

(01:05:15):
I said this is my moment. I walk out on the stage and at
that point Eddie Money has exited the stage.
The other side, the other wings has gone, has left the building.
He's in his dressing room. Oh no, I'm standing out on the
stage. The house lights come up, the
band is leaving their instruments, the drummers
wrapped from behind the kit. I'm standing on stage looking
around saying, oh, what happened?

(01:05:38):
How are you just waiting for security to tackle me?
Did you just grab a? Mic or something to make it look
like you're cleaning. Up couldn't.
The power was off. The lights were down.
They were sweeping the stage. I'm standing there frozen like a
deer in the headlights, looking out at a sea of people.
They aren't kind of Fair. There's a big crowd and they're
slowly. He's like, he just backed off

(01:05:58):
the stage and got off and I wentbackstage and all I heard was
from the Eddie's dressing room was his wife.
Yeah, I'm saying how could you forget that he was standing in
the waves? He's like, I just, we did the
show and I just, I can't. It was just automatic.
It was autopilot. I just, I knew that was the last
song and I want to do right. We got that guy down here from a

(01:06:20):
radio station. I do forget he's.
I didn't go into that room either.
I don't want to be in the middleall of that.
So that was my moment on stage with anybody.
I think we did share actually a moment as he was stepping off
the stage and I was stepping on it barely.
I think we crossed maybe a second there for a moment.
You know, for like half of a second they were on the same
stage, different size. Counts.

(01:06:40):
Counts. Yeah, I would count it, yeah.
I got a message from Eddie Moneyon exactly what happened.
I can just about walk. I can't hold a walk.
I can't see too far and I can't hear too much.
I just. Love making that.
That inspired me to do an Afro call to Ralph about Eddie Money.

(01:07:02):
Ralph is obsessed with Eddie Money who was a star in the late
40s, late 70s, early 80s was hishis PK day ethic.
Ralph, I just unlocked Eddie Money on Guitar Hero.
Hold on a second as I'm going tojam with them.
OK, here we go. Crap.
He walked off the. Stage God, this thing is

(01:07:23):
realistic. See, because he left Ralph Hagen
because Ralph was going to sing with him and he and he didn't
see him and forgot about it. So.
Come on, that's good guys it. Was good.
All out. Hold on.
I got another message here. This is from the Kev dog.
He's calling in. He's got a message for us.

(01:07:45):
Where did it go? Oh, what did he think about
Ralph? Or what did he think about
Christopher? Fart joke genius.
I agree he's a genius and that is the week that was kids.
Back to you, Steve. Excellent work, nice job.
It needed more fart jokes I would say.

(01:08:07):
Nope, it didn't. I think this was free of fart
jokes, so this is my favorite episode we've done so far.
Maybe I could add some in at theend, especially about eating
clay. I'm sure there's a poop and
vomit if we could play there. As long as you do that after
work on. Let the record show you started
this setting. You did.
I didn't mean to all. Right, Jen, say bye to

(01:08:30):
everybody. All right, thanks everyone for
listening. Reach out to us on Facebook or
whatever. We're on.
And until next week, bye everybody.
Bye bye. But you call me on the counter,
What did you do? Saw me banging on the sofa, What
did you do? Even had her in the shower.
What did you do? Even call me on camera.

(01:08:51):
What did you do? Hello, Drew.
Hello. How you doing?
I'm alive. Oh, you Twinkie.
Live. Oh, you never get to see this.
Guy, hold up. Big old.
Beer cake. Hi baby.
Oh, I love fat cats. Yeah, this is the big one.

(01:09:12):
Open wide for Chunky. What did you do?
Saw the marks on my shoulder. What did you do for the words
that I told her? What did you do?
What did you do? Beans are notorious for being a
gassy. Make your fart legume if you
will. And so they will often make you
expel air out of your rectum. Yes, AKA a fart.

(01:09:36):
Right now the Irish, when they pronounce the word 40, yes,
sometimes with their accent it can be heard as farty, farty.
And so it'd be too farty, too farty.
It would be literally 240 beans,but it would also too farty,
potentially be too gassy and that wouldn't be too farty.

(01:10:00):
But you got me on the counter, what did you do?
Saw me banging on the sofa, whatdid you do?
Even had her in the shower. What did you do?
Even call me on camera? What did you do?
Saw the marks on my shoulder. What did you do?
Heard the words that I told her.What did you do?
Heard the screen's getting louder, What did you do?
What did you do do on it? This has been a quitters never

(01:10:23):
give up presentation.