Episode 196 - The Nose Touches the...

Bean in studio, Lana hate, half Christmas, peanut butter fruit, Kevin the con artist, breakup chat, the Teddy Love, kale, and Bean gets rejected from Drunk History!

Episode Transcript

(00:02):
Oh, got your butt hole? How do you even grab a butt
hole? I don't.
Know you grab his ears like handlebars and you just go for a
ride. Just like you do with your men.
Here at poop centers, it's guaranteed anonymous.
We will ship your friend or enemy a healthy heap of some of
the nastiest. Stingers to their friend, that

(00:24):
would be the best. I will be.
Willing to get as drunk as you need me to get to be your
narrator for that show. What today's No Mamas award goes
to these beaches. Mama, that's right here.
The inventors of the Boo boos bring you their newest trend

(00:46):
quitters. Never give up.
Go ahead. Repping for.
All of. Quitters.
Never give up. Check off Christopher.
Check off Jen Pastorini. Check off Lindsay.
Hello, Drew. Aw.
The great Ed Wynn, ladies and gentlemen.
I love him so much. Because I said.
Quitters never give. Up and he said that's.
All they do. I think you're all awesome.

(01:06):
Lame, lame, lame. A lot of party people it is.
Quitters never give up. It's episode 196, right?
Right. Wait 196, Let's go ahead.
I got a lot of show to go to. Let's go ahead and say hello to
the quitters. Who's up first?
I need a fucking Snickers, Jennifer.
I need a fucking blunt. And that may be a Snickers.

(01:30):
Hey, Jen. I farted people.
You got a Snickers. I don't tend to like that type
of candy. OK, sorry I got a blunt though.
All right, I'll take that. I let's see who's next.
Sing a song versus Aiden. We haven't heard that in a
while. Sing a song for Zed.

(01:53):
Thanks for bringing that back. Merry Christmas, Lindsay.
Hey, Lindsay, thanks for bringing Sing a Song for Satan
back. That was on the replay of the
Ralph Report. We'll get to that in the podcast
run up. There wasn't much for me to do.
All right, let's say, let's say hello to Edwin.

(02:18):
I'm the kid from Mockingbird Lane.
You might wonder why I have a dragon Corvette.
Well, he's just there to keep mecompany on the set.

(02:41):
Hey, Edwin. Good day mates.
Should I do my Fred Gwen impression Lily?
Definitely not your Grandpa Munster 1, though.
That's actually I, I, I actuallythought that my mind had made
that song up that that didn't exist because that's actually

(03:02):
Butch Patrick from the Munsters singing that song.
And I figured it was a sketch somewhere that I just saw and
didn't really believe. And then it popped up on my feet
and I was like, this is a real song.
It's a real thing. Is that the original of that
song or I mean of that tune because it's reminding me of

(03:23):
that. What's that song from Fall Out
Boy or the other one? Yeah, I know what you're talking
about, but no, that is from the monster stand table.
They deliberately did that. Interesting.
OK. Yeah, I I don't know what song
she's talking about, but this isfrom the 80s.

(03:44):
Uma Thurman. The actress.
And the song? It's a song called Uma Thurman
by Fall Out Boy or Panic at the Disco.
Or Wazer. OK.
They played it on K rock. You would you would recognize
it, but the the guitar riff Doo Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo,
Doo. Yeah.

(04:04):
Oh yeah. OK, well, that is The Munsters
and whenever they played Fall Out Boy, I changed the channel.
So anyhow, and I'm Christopher. Well, thanks, Chris.
You've only been up for seven days.
How the fuck would you know? It's like talking to a drunk at
3:00 in the morning. All right, here we go.
True, I guess it's the guy who plays Mic on Breaking Bad.

(04:27):
Gonna say that sounds exactly like him.
And he, it's an outtake from something that I found.
And I said it's it's Chris. There you go.
Clip it, put it on the show. All right, we have moments with
all right. Take it over, Lindsay.
And now a moment with listener Edwin.

(04:50):
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
It's hard to whistle whistle when you're laughing.
It's hard to speak when you're talking to.
Yeah, it's hard to speak when you're on a podcast.
That was a moment with. Listener.
Edwin. That was a good one, I like that
one. So this moment is kind of a
moment within a larger moment. So we're going to play the short

(05:11):
moment first. And now it's time for a moment
with intern Lindsay. That's a fun fact.
Where's your fun fact button, Lindsay?
I can't even use it because you're sharing.
Where's your fun fact, Christopher Button?

(05:32):
That was a moment with intern Lindsay.
Believe it or not, this was partof a group meltdown from 193
that I will now play. And now for a moment, with the
quitters. I I like the closing theme.
I like the opening theme. Both of them are amazing and

(05:53):
they were written. Who are they written by?
Edwin, you know. I'm afraid I don't.
What they were written by the the neighbor and good times.
Remember good times. Oh, Winona, Winona.
Yeah, she wrote the the theme for The Jeffersons.
Doing great. Doing great, sweetie.

(06:15):
Yeah. What?
That's a fun fact? Where's your fun fact button,
Lindsay? I can't even use it because
you're sharing. Where's your fun fact,
Christopher Button? Fun fact.
There you go. All right.
And that was a moment with the quitters.

(06:38):
Pretty good if you ask me. Good catch.
I I didn't hear anything wrong with her.
It was good. Good times.
Yeah. Anytime we have a Good Times
reference, I like it. Did you know Janet Jackson was
on Good Times? I thought she was on a different
strokes. Oh, I think she gets started on
different strokes. But then she was the neighbors

(06:59):
kid. The neighbors adopted kid on on
good times. It's a lot of neighbor talk
here. Well, there was a neighbor, then
there was a sickle, and then they were neighbors, and then
they were. Next up.
A moment. With Kurt.
Right. I don't remember the whole 2
weeks now have just they've justbeen a crazy montage of life.

(07:24):
Yeah. Well said, Well said, Mark the
time. Some people wait a lifestyle.
With Kirk. Nothing wrong there.
And it was Jeanette Dubois who wrote the theme to Good Times.

(07:44):
She was the neighbor Ilona, who adopted Janet Jackson's
character. Fun fact.
Fun fact. Now we will move on to Kevin in
the afternoon. It's time for I.
Feel like how dare you? How dare you?

(08:07):
I couldn't find the original theme that I had created for
that, so I just found two How Dare You clips and decided to
put them in instead. So these again are just random
moments with Kevin from the lastthree or four weeks.
I want to say so we might blow through some of them very
quickly. Here we go.

(08:28):
But that's because I didn't knowwhat Channel 7 had for me in
mind. Sounded a lot like my fun fact.
Christopher Button next. Math is hard.
Getting really good at this theyare at scamming people I mean
the fact that almost one in let's see what 20% between 20
and 30% of people have been scammed let alone you know

(08:52):
trying to scam people and I. Well said.
Fractions and math. 20 to 3040% of people.
Have been one in 20 to 30. OK.
All right, Next up, I confess that I don't even remember what
half of these clips are, so I'm going to be just as surprised as
you guys. And we're going to take your

(09:13):
phone calls at 1-800-520-1067 ifif you got scammed.
Well done, well done. Next up.
Sorry, I started talking withoutmy microphone on.
Nice work, nice work. Next up, wrong caller number.
Hey, Rock. Hello.
Who's this? Hey, it's.

(09:34):
Kelly, you are caller 25. Really.
Yeah, I don't know why I said 25.
You're caller 20. That's.
The number that we're looking for.
Caller 25, Caller 20, they had some famous person on to
interview and I know they had a lot of different interviews.
I want to say it's either Sublime or Gavin Rossdale.

(09:54):
Was it Jeanette Dubois who wrotethe theme song to The
Jeffersons? Gavin Rossdale is here from
Bush. The new album is coming out July
17th, 18th, 18th. Sorry.
Feels like 17th. Sure, it could be whatever.
Well done. All right, Next up.
And I have the 420 catch of the day.

(10:16):
I can't remember that. I thought you forgot my name for
two seconds. Oh no.
I hope everybody. Didn't think that that's what it
was. I like how he didn't say her
name. So he didn't say, of course,
Megan, I didn't forget your name.
He just kind of like, yeah, I would never do that.

(10:36):
Let's go on to the call. Right Next up.
That is one of the bands that weare giving away tickets for in
the ticket Summer ticket blowoutticket blowout ticket giveaway
thing on KR two hours. Well done.
And last but not least, names are hard. 106.7 K rock is KROQ.

(10:58):
You are listening to Kevin and Kevin and Kevin.
What's up party people? The and.
You're listening to Kevin and Kevin.
He's still got it. Yeah.
Still got it back to you, Steve.All right, let us do the
flashback with no introduction. Hello and welcome to a very

(11:21):
special flashback because. I'm going to introduce.
You now flashbacks. And now flashbacks.
Let's have a look at this. Just play the intro I'm.
Cooking. Well, those 6.7 K rock is KRQ.
You're listening to the Kevin and Bean show at 7:52.
Time for the showbiz beat. Now here's Ralph.

(11:42):
Beermong is a fail. Even when he tries to do the
right thing, he does the wrong thing.
It's ridiculous. It's spectacular how unerringly
wrong his instincts are. Yeah, he.
A lot of times he really is trying to help.
I know and that's when he FS up,usually the.
Worst you. Want to tell people what what
you're referring to? Well, here's the thing.
Here, there's he's, he's in hereworking here with you people.

(12:04):
Can't you keep him in here, is what we're all we're saying?
Who's him? You don't let him just roam the
halls and just go into any room.Oh, Bean.
Yeah, yeah. You had like a rabid dog, right?
And you didn't want to put him down.
You had to keep him. Right, I thought we were talking
about beer mug. What happened?
How did this get turned? Out.
You wouldn't just let him just oh, let's just take the leap,
take him off the leash. Let's just let his foamy mouth

(12:26):
just go up and down hallways so it's nipping at people.
So Bean usually works from home,but he's here because we're
doing the breakfast with Jack White.
Tomorrow and here means in the studio.
Yes, that's where here should. Be And so Ralph came in a second
ago and said you guys have to keep him in here.
He. Can't.
You can't just let him Christineto date Doto.
He's like he's just running around just Willy nilly causing

(12:47):
everyone's life, nothing but misery.
First of all, Christine dating doto is a great idea, but second
of all, most of the time I spentin the office was pitching some
guests the day for him to go after for our show, I was.
Working. I couldn't tell her it was I'm,
I'm, I'm, yeah. That Ralph came in and said that
and then beer mug gave you a heads up.
There's only 10 seconds. And that made Ralph even more
angry because now Ralphs in here, you stay on.
Exactly. What is he thinking?

(13:09):
Can't we all just get along? Yes, most of us can.
I'm not causing any trouble here, I'm just sitting over here
doing my little job. Oh, and trying to get Christine
to date Doto. That's a great idea.
Job. That's a great I.
Do have to support that idea? Thank you.
Oh no. See, Lisa, You see what we're up
against, dear? God, Christine should date Doto.

(13:32):
Do you love that? Would you?
Like to have the? Intel on that though, imagine
the story she would tell coming back from the dates about how
that. Went yeah, people say you're the
family I have to be show it's like a big family.
I say yes. And Lisa May and I are the
children of abusive alcoholic parents.
How dare you, Sir. Family.
It's that kind of family. How dare you where mom and dad
are just just knocking stuff over and ruining your life and

(13:55):
embarrassing you in front of your friends and you're afraid
to go home because you don't know what you're going to find
there when you show up. It's perfect description.
Oh my God, therapy. So much myopia mug.
So much therapy. And it seems that way.
Oh my God I can't. I can't believe Christine and

(14:16):
Doto would never become a thing.That would have been great.
I think we should get Lindsay and Doto together.
I think that's what we should right now.
She's about 5859, right? Oh.
I think Lindsay's too tall. Sorry, Lindsay.
Well, I remember they did get a listener to go on a date with
DOTO, but this listener called and volunteered, so yeah, it was

(14:38):
on her. That date didn't go well.
Much like our podcast. Yeah, what don't you?
All righty, next one. Yeah, the game.
This song is the biggest hit in my Jazzercise class.
That's not still a thing, is it?Oh, he was just sweating to the

(14:59):
oldies right there. OK, you go now.
It's 855, this is the world famous K Rock, and it is time
for the rough showbiz. I'm throwing everybody off today
just by having conversations. Bean has no time for it.
Kevin doesn't know what to do with it.
You're all just confused. You've been running such a
smooth, polished radio show. That's so many years.
That is true, that when you get a little rough around the end,

(15:19):
you get a little sloppy, a little casual.
You guys just fall to pieces. You know what to.
Do it's a little shocking. Because you're always so tightly
wound, that whole, you know, thepolished professional image of
yours, you're trying to keep up.I'm just saying, loosen up, man.
Have a little fun with it. We have to start doing things
that just make us look like we've got our act together here
because we're all looking just really, really, really floppy.

(15:40):
All right, Sorry, man. The boss doesn't like me.
It is time for the Showbiz B. Before I get to showbiz news,
however, I would like to give you something because you are
nice. Six Flags Magic Mountain Annual
Pass. We all love Magic Mountain.
Sure, it's an entertainment extravaganza.

(16:03):
Each and every time you go, you get go on the the Batman the
ride. Batman by himself is just
awesome. You make him a ride, now you're
now you're pitching A pup tent. You know what I'm saying?
Colossus, we've got all the bestrides at Magic Mountain.
There's a few days left. You can still ride Batman and
Colossus backwards until June 15th.

(16:24):
It's a whole new way to experience these roller
coasters. It's a great time and I would
like to give you a season pass to Six Flags Magic Mountain.
You can go as much as you want. Thanks to me.
This is a pass. One winner gets this very
special season pass. Call me now. 1-800-520-1067
Caller number six, since it is 6Flags Magic Mountain after all,

(16:45):
gets this season pass a pair foryou and a friend.
Take Dad. Take Dad this weekend.
It's Father's Day for corn's sake.
You have a heart. Dad would love to go on Colossus
backwards. You know, sad news.
They announced they're going to dismantle Colossus.
Yeah, it's the one of the last remaining wooden roller
coasters. So enjoy it while you can.
That's what I said to Lana Del Rey.

(17:08):
Enjoy it while you can. This bitch.
What's up? Seriously.
What is up? She's she's a nightmare.
Here's the thing. This is This is why a lot of
wonderful yet normal looking women hate the really super
attractive. She certainly has not helped.

(17:30):
Because she has it all going forher.
She's she's marginally talented.She is very attractive.
She could just really enjoy a nice life.
And she seems just to be crabby,obviously.
Obviously that comes from an interview we did with her on
this show. Yeah, she said I edited my own

(17:51):
video. And I, Kevin said, oh, really?
Did you edit all your own videos?
Obviously, Obviously, of course,because we're all looking at the
editing credits of your freakingvideo.
We were shocked. She was, she was not nice.
I disagree by the way, if I could just throw in an
alternative. Because you think she's hot, but
go ahead. No, no, it has nothing to do

(18:11):
with her being hot. I think she is often
misunderstood. She doesn't do herself any
favors with like the quote Ralphbrought us this morning, that's
for sure. She deserves to be mocked for
that. But in general but.
What about when I asked her she edited her videos and she said
that. Obviously, I mean that's, I mean
real. How do you defend that?
I don't think she was saying it from.
I don't think she was saying it from a cruel and evil place.

(18:32):
I don't think. No, from an arrogant, pompous
place, is what she was saying. I certainly don't think it.
I don't think it came. It did not reflect well on her.
I agree. He goes out of this way,
Defender. I don't think.
Beautiful. I don't think she meant it in
the by the way that she said those words with all the
intended meaning therein, no. No, I just said it.
I do not think that particular quote reflected well on her.

(18:54):
I think in general though, she is the victim of a great deal of
unwarranted Internet hate. In particular.
People do. People do seem to have a Jones
against. That's possible happen, yes.
Where does it come from? It comes from her courting that
by her behavior. I think it comes from a lot of
places with her, including hipsters who hate her because
they think she's inauthentic. I think that has something to

(19:16):
do. With it, I know hipster, but she
seems like a bitch. I was just throwing, you know,
throwing 11 theory out. There's a lot of hate, I think
from for lots of different reasons.
Except for my monocle and my later hoes.
And I think it'd be hard and breath to label me a hipster.
Now, for folks who didn't hear the latest thing that she said,
though, Ralph, bring her up to speed because I think this
would. Have a surprise.
She's just a victim of Internet hatred because she said in an

(19:38):
interview this week that her favorite artists were Amy
Winehouse and Kurt Cobain. And the reporter she was talking
to said, oh, that's interesting because they're they're both
dead. And she responded with I wish I
were dead already. And he said, no, you don't.
She said, I do. I don't want to have to keep
doing this, but I am. And he said, what do you mean

(20:00):
making music? She said everything.
But in fairness, she's just a victim of the words that she
says that come out of her mouth that make her a bitch.
Being Isn't that worse than her words not helping her?
Isn't that her just being ugly? I agreed from second one of this

(20:21):
story that this she deserves. She deserves to be mocked for
this. I mean she does look like a
spoiled brat basically complaining about a pretty
privileged and and lucky life. I don't want to have to keep
doing this, but I am well done everything.
That's just how I feel. If it wasn't that way, then I
wouldn't say it. I would be scared if I knew

(20:42):
death was coming, but I'd love the idea that it would be all
over. It's just a relief, really.
Shut. The F up.
You don't have to choose such anexhausting career if you don't
want to do that kind of. Work.
And by the way, if I I'm not mistaken, she sings.
Yeah, there's that. You want to talk about

(21:04):
exhausting careers, People who actually work do a day in a coal
mine. She has to open her mouth and
push air past her vocal cords. She writes her own songs too, by
the way. Oh well, I didn't realize she
pushes a pencil on a piece of paper as well.
Obviously. Oh, and we forgot she does edit

(21:25):
all her videos. That must be exhausting.
You know those avid beds? Those avid beds, They're,
they're steam powered. You have to actually pull a
crank in order to keep them energized.
Obviously. I got a buddy of mine back home
who's fighting for his life, leukemia.
We would gladly trade places with her if she'll have it.

(21:46):
She wants to go. She can go.
Sounds like she would take that deal if she had it.
I. Would take that deal, that's for
sure. She's a bitch.
Your defense of her is indefensible.
Look, here's what's so often happens on this show, and I
don't want. To I know this show is awful.
Here's what's so often happens on this show is that you guys,

(22:07):
in particular Kevin and Ralph, are 100% for or 100% against
with so many issues. You're completely black or
completely white. And I'm saying she does
absolutely deserves some criticism for some of the dumb
things that she has asked. But I'm also saying I think that
other things are unfounded and unfair against her.
And I think like with so many other issues, I think it's a

(22:27):
it's a little bit of a mixed bag.
Look, I'll give you my unnaturalwhite hot cartoon hatred of
Taylor Swift. Other than being sort of soft
and sort of namby pamby and I just have no time for her, she
really has done nothing to earn any real sort of negative
energy. She seems like a nice enough
person. She gives my to charity and

(22:49):
she's pretty and I find her lightweight and a little
self-centered brother. But who is it?
So that is sort of a comic posture that I take because of
your unnatural love for her. I like to poke fun at her, but
this Lana Del Rey, she's she's no victim.
She's no victim of Internet hate.
She has posed and positioned herself from her name change to
her sort of fake persona to her her arrogance.

(23:11):
She has courted people's hatred time and time and time again.
And for you to say she is just being lambasted because of some
just random decision people havemade to take shots at her on the
Internet is is wildly unfounded.Look, I understand you're, I
understand where you're coming from.
I I there are a lot of people who agree with you.

(23:32):
Obviously, I mean, she's she's horrible, but she's no Harrison
Ford. That Dick.
I'm glad he got hurt. What happened to him?
He was on the set of Star Wars Episode 7 when a hydraulic door
from the Millennium Falcon, his own spaceship, fell on him.

(23:52):
Well, it's getting old. It's an old ship.
It's true. It's old.
This is. 30 years later it doesn't make the castle run in
12 parsecs any longer. You know, I'd like to take Lana
Del Rey to Six Flags Magic Mountain.
That'd be a fun time, I think. Right?
What's wrong with that, Lindsay?Creepy alert.

(24:15):
Creepy alert. It's just a roller coaster.
It's just a bunch of rides. I haven't been to Six Flags in a
while. The kids have been too small,
although my my oldest is and I haven't been since.
Actually, I think they played this clip because the last time
I went was when they were closing in Colossus and I rode
Colossus backwards. That was amazing.
I love it. So do they replace Colossus with

(24:38):
anything? They made Colossus like super
mega Colossus or something. They they infuse the wooden
roller coaster with a metal roller coaster.
So it's like the extreme Colossus.
I haven't ridden it, but I lovedColossus.
I got on it so many times that day.

(24:58):
My date was was done. I I kind of just left her like
at some tables and just kept getting on the right.
Christopher, are they real romantic?
Well. You know.
So imagine if I took Lana Del Rey.
She'd just be sitting there in the patio, just often, you know,
just. Obviously.
Right there, sitting there, hoping for sweet death.

(25:18):
She's like the the new Morrissey, I think.
I think that's what it is. I want them to tour together.
How awesome would that be, right?
Bummer chore. The bummer.
Never show up. The Summer Bummer tour.
Summer Bummer. Yeah.
All right, I got one more. Do you guys remember bubble
berries? 106.7 K rock is KROQ.

(25:41):
You're listening to the Kevin and Bean show at 6:52.
Let's see if we can guess, Kevin.
Was Ralph watching the ArgentinaBosnia Hertz in a Govina game
yesterday or was he more of a France Honduras game do you
think? I think he's a Honduras fan.
OK, Ralph, that's what we were watching yesterday.
I. I don't watch kickball.
I'm not into the kickball. Tournaments.

(26:01):
So Switzerland, Ecuador, that was your game yesterday.
Whatever it is that you enjoy about that, continue on.
USA plays today 3:00. Go kickball.
Now they have to go all the way around the bases right when they
kick the ball into the. Kickball.
This is not the one with the bases.
No, as much as it's this. Is the one with the interesting
one. There's soccer.
It actually does anything. US, Ghana.

(26:22):
People score stuff. US, Ghana.
All right, it is. Like showbiz?
Enjoy that game. Bead here on a Monday morning
Kevin de Bead show. What do you got for us, Ralph?
I got more anger all. Right.
What are we mad about now? Just people are just rubbing it
in now. Rubbing what in?

(26:45):
Thank the listener who sent me the story about the peanut
butter fruit. Yeah, there's a fruit that
tastes like peanut butter. It's bad enough I don't get any
bubble berries. I can't find the cotton candy
grapes anywhere, right? And there's a chocolate pudding
fruit. Now they tell me there's a
peanut butter fruit. Are people just making stuff up
now? The Bunchosia Argentia, commonly

(27:08):
known as the peanut butter fruit, is native to Venezuelan
Colombia in South America produces a a red orange fruit
with a sticky, dense pulp that tastes just like peanut butter.
Why are they keeping all the good fruit from us?
Sounds pretty good. It sounds amazing.
You get the chocolate pudding fruit and the peanut butter

(27:28):
fruit together. Put those two in a bowl.
Give me a spoon. Thank you very much.
It's a Reese's Peanut butter fruit cup.
Wow. Wow indeed, that sounds awesome.
It does sound awesome. What the Hell's going on?
Where's CNN? Get them on this.
We need to hear updates about how they can't find any more
pings for the black box. He needs that every morning.

(27:52):
But then after that they could go with a.
Peanut butter fruit. Probably not getting the good
fruits. I don't know, I don't have an
answer for that it. Looks like we should be Ruff.
Did you mention where? Where is the peanut butter
fruit? With what country or part of
the. World they have Argentina.
Argentina, OK. Venezuela and Colombia did not
say Argentina or Venezuela, not even close.
Venezuela and Colombia, that's where they got the.

(28:14):
People, Kevin, you're going to be nearby.
Maybe you can snag some for us when you're down here.
You're down in South America, Yeah.
A small place. On South America Way.
Just cross the border and ask for the peanut butter fruit.
Exactly big. At CNN, are you guys watching
the 60s? I have any series on I'm.
Taping it. I watched a little bit of the
Kennedy assassination one, but I'm taping the whole thing and
I'm gonna go back and watch I. Can't wait anything about me I

(28:35):
but Kevin, no, even this is so well done even you wouldn't
enjoy this series. I am fascinated by this show.
And look, the 60s is a decade that has been.
It's been it's been exactly a little bit.
It's been combed over once or twice.
But this and I was, I was dubious about this most recent
episode, which was the Kennedy assassination.

(28:56):
I was like, do we really need tosee any more coverage of the
Kennedy? Assassin.
The answer to that question is no the.
Answer is, you start watching this and you'll see stuff and
stories and angles on this thingthat you've never seen before.
It's very well done. Brings it right to life.
Freaking Tom Hanks knows what he's doing with this thing.
Yeah, telling to Kevin. It's so entertaining even you

(29:18):
would be interested. I can't.
Pretty busy, got a lot on my plate.
All that kickball's going on. When was this from?
This is June 2014. Let's see.
So is that World Cup or is that Olympics?

(29:39):
Not Olympics. It's right before, yeah, it's
the World Cup. It's right before Kevin goes to
the World Cup. And and so that one was, yeah,
June 16th, 2014. And I figured since we already
passed those dates, I wouldn't step on Eddie's toes.
The Lana Del Rey was on the 13thand the K Rock family was on the
11th. Love it.

(30:00):
Yeah. So that's the flashback.
Nice man, I do want some bubble berries and some peanut butter
fruit. And that chocolate pudding fruit
sounds delicious, right? I can.
Go for some chocolate. Where's that from, I?
Don't know species? Of Persimmon and a tropical It's

(30:20):
native to Mexico. That's close enough, right?
It has to be yeah, right there. Why?
Don't we have the good fruit? Tariffs.
Have you guys had the cotton candy grapes?
Yes, I love them. Oh really?
What do they like, Christopher? They taste like fucking cotton
candy. It's weird.
It is very. Weird that a moment with, I
know. What kind of question is that

(30:42):
Any? Question.
But it was a question. I'll give Eddie this.
It's like I didn't think they would taste like cotton candy
like they I wouldn't think they would taste like that flavor of
cotton candy. I thought they would just be
sweet and taste kind of similar,but they taste like that
artificial cotton candy candy flavor that, you know, it's just

(31:05):
weird. It's weird to have it on a in a
natural fruit but but. It's really good.
It is. I think I still have some frozen
in the freezer. Oh man, because you only can get
them a couple weeks a year, so if you happen to be at that
store that day they don't like carry them all summer like
regular grapes. Yeah, you, you freeze them and
then you put like what? You put the jello on them, make

(31:26):
them the little, the little candied grapes.
Oh man, those are good. I just eat them.
I I saw sour patch grapes, you take the sour flavor.
Jello. Moving on, you put them on.
Moving on. Podcast Roundup.
I guess Rondo. Oh, oh shit.

(31:46):
OK, that's me. Oh my.
God. Nailed it, forget it.
And. When you want her to pull out
your podcast. We got it.
Oh Jane, stop saying hello to happy.
Goodbye to the Blue Janky podcast.

(32:13):
Sorry, I didn't have any other clips.
I mean, they they they're not they're closed.
They're closed for the summer. They're done it.
It was slim pickings this week, but we do have a lot of Kevin
extra Kevin this week. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin.
All right, so we'll start off with Kevin and his the Brazil
Cup, the World Cup going his trip to Brazil for the World

(32:35):
Cup. He brought up with Megan about
conning your way into places. You conned your way into
something. Yeah, into getting something
that you want. I did once when I was I was
lucky enough to go to Brazil forthe World Cup in 2000.
OK, wait, we we know Kevin. It was more than once we were

(32:56):
all listening in the 90s when heconned his way into the Oscars
every year for yes, I think likethe whole mid 90s.
But all right, let's continue. 14 And I went with Brad Williams
and my friend Kevin and John andBrad Williams looks like we man
yes, from Jackass. And it was raining and there was
this huge US Soccer party in a city in Brazil.

(33:18):
And I was like, how do we get in?
There's a long line. So I walked up to the garden.
I was like, look, I'm with we man.
I do his security, who would believe that?
He's like, he's looking at me like I'm crazy.
I go, you know, Jackass and he goes, yeah, yeah, Jackass.
I go this is we man and we need to get him out of this line
because people are really bugging him and they just

(33:39):
ushered us right in. Oh my God, that's genius.
It was pretty great. With enough confidence you can
get a lot of stuff done. Act like you own the place.
Yeah, I mean. I've definitely taken advantage
of the the K rock thing. I you know, I used to like pull
up at the forum. This was a while ago.
It doesn't work anymore, but like, oh, you know, oh, I'm I
should be on the parking list. You know, I'm Megan Holiday, K

(33:59):
Rock, and a lot of the times they just play, OK, go ahead, go
ahead, you know, so. Did you have to ever palm a 20?
I never, I never did with that. I've done that with other
things. So, yeah, yeah.
I wonder what other things she palmed.
Interesting. Hello.
Maybe it was a candy Grapes. Anyhow, that was an awesome
story of Kevin conning his way into a party in Brazil.

(34:23):
Yes I think he gets back cuz I just listened to it.
So he gets back after 4th of July weekend, so and I want to
say they have a couple days holiday and then he comes back
from there and starts telling all the stories the second week
of July Eddie, so you know. Yeah, and they're bringing I'm
I'm sure I'm almost positive when he gets back, they're going

(34:44):
to start making fun of Kayla's fish.
I know that's that's right on the horizon.
I can't wait. All right, all right.
They also were taking calls on your trouble making grandparents
and Kevin shared his grandparents story.
We thought we would ask you if you had grandparents who were

(35:04):
troublemakers, old relatives whowere troublemakers.
I had a grandpa who used to watch 3's company all the time
and he would say, don't tell grandma.
She doesn't like it watching 3'scompany.
And you know, it's like he's looking for boobs.
You know 100% that's what he's doing.
Don't tell grandma. And also that we had our

(35:26):
neighbors had a duck. There are ducks in the back and
one of them chased him all the way to our house.
Oh my God. And he said I kicked at the duck
and I was like, grandpa, you can't kick a duck.
He's like it was chasing me. I think you can kick a duck if
it's chasing you. Ducks are going to be pretty
aggressive, but. Clinkies, yeah.

(35:46):
Yeah, but could you imagine Kevin as a grandpa?
Oh man. He'd be a fun granddad.
Are you kidding? I kicked a raccoon, all that
kind of stuff, yeah. I'm just surprised that wasn't a
character, you know, Ralph doingKevin's granddad, party Bucks
party bus, Kevin's granddad. Give us a little preview, Edwin.

(36:08):
Or you want me to give you a preview?
Yeah, you know, honestly, the grandpa, Grandpa sounded like
you with the three's company andthe boobs, I mean.
Yeah, he is very much Don't tellyour grandma I'm watching 3's
company get. Oh that Chrissy.
Why? That's amazing.
All right, MPRNPR, we all know the type of broadcasting they

(36:34):
do. Very serious, very dry.
But Kevin brings up a fun fact about NPR.
To me, and this is not, this doesn't have anything to do with
NPR being defunded right now. This is a book that has come
out, a new Tell All book that, says NPR Newsroom, was awash in
sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. That's what I'm talking about.

(36:59):
NPR, This is a journalist named Steve Oni, I believe is how you
say his name. He said the network, which was
founded in 1970s. He's basically talking about the
late 70s, eighties on air, the triumph and tumult of NPR.
And I got to tell you, if they were on cocaine, they've done a

(37:20):
great job of hiding it. Yeah, they, I mean, they were,
they were ready to go. They were wired up.
They were finding out information.
I. Know that I hate them more than
most, and I know a lot of peoplelike them, but Oh my God, is
there a more boring delivery of news than that?
This is NPR. They're on cocaine.

(37:42):
What? Discussing how employees in the
70s and 80s saw themselves as, quote, radio revolutionaries.
They talked about how the staff was full of young and ambitious
reporters at the time. This also resulted in these
journalists frequently sleeping with each other and taking part
in the drug scene. Well, they had.
To They were always in The Newsroom, you know?

(38:04):
There was around, there was a cocaine dealer at NPR in the
late 70s. He was actually employed there
and his side hustle was cocaine.Oh my God.
And he's perfect. He would give it to the people
that not the people that were onthe air, clearly, but everybody
else seems to have been on cocaine at NPR.
That tiny dust has a lot of drinks in it.

(38:25):
That's all I know. Man, the 70s, we missed out,
Lindsay. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, but see, here's the other
side to that, Kevin. Yes.
And that news is incredibly boring.
Some of the programming is, is, you know, nature shows and
things like that. But sometimes, Kevin, when I
can't sleep, it'll put me right to sleep.

(38:48):
Yeah, it is good for that. Yeah, I've got a clip when they
were doing the Rodney on the Rock story when they're trying
to get him a star, and they had a story from NPR and they were
all just mocking it. They were like you trying to put
us to sleep. Have you seen those, those Tik
Toks, I think where the woman does the NPR voice, but she's
like announcing like modern music or millennial music.

(39:13):
She's like that was to the window to the wall from, you
know, it's pretty hilarious. I'll play one of those at the
end. That's funny.
All right, let's do the Not Today podcast.
Jen Sterger was talking about breakups.
How far would you go to help a friend or defriend a friend who
had been cheated on and publiclyhumiliated?

(39:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The person that cheated on your
friend. So you're helping them do it?
Yeah, because I'm that I'm that friend.
So you're devising ways. I'm always that friend.
OK, look, I don't just blindly help people either.
I like, weigh it out like a kangaroo court before I actually
involve myself in someone else'sbusiness.
Sure, you got to make sure it's just so, look, I could be

(39:54):
completely being toxic and enabling in this situation, but
I like to think that I I weigh out what's what's his story,
what's her story and what's the story like the actual story?
Yeah, Yeah. Yeah, sure, 'cause I mean, when
people break up feelings, get involved in whatever.
It's hard to, you know. I've helped many of women do Dr.

(40:16):
Bys. Yeah.
Many of women 'cause they don't know what my vehicle looks like.
Oh man, Jen, bring in the gangster shit.
That's crazy. I feel like that is a woman
thing. I don't think that men do that

(40:36):
very much. Well I can say from my last
experience he was driving by every day and then he'd be like
oh I want to see the dogs or some BS and then let's see.
The funny thing is, is he got booted out March 1st 2024 and he
was totally alcoholic. I mean just raging.

(40:58):
It's just awful right? So I finally get him out, he
goes to his friend's house down the street, he gets kicked out
of there in two months. Then he ends up at one of my
customers house, unbeknownst to them and myself, and she kicks
him out in a couple of months. His last place he got kicked out
of, she tripled his rent to get rid of him.
So there's always karma people. There's always.

(41:20):
Well I mean, I get that he was being crazy, but I don't think
any of his friends were helping him be crazy.
They used to, used to, so they would go skiing.
I mean, they're all drinkers. Whatever, it's fine.
I drink, but I don't drink to that excess.
And oh, that was the thing too. In March, he was so drunk
snowboarding he ran into a tree and has seven broken ribs.

(41:42):
Oh damn, did you call him Sonny Bono?
Oh, right. Gosh, Chris, haven't you seen
the movie enough? That's like, eek bro.
Stalking, terrible behavior. I think the guy's like a cop
that's helping him basically like try to kill her.
Enough. Enough.

(42:03):
Yeah, is. That Jlo J.
Lo, yeah. Oh, I mean, yeah.
But yes, that is a bro thing to do and that's I have seen lots
of stories about guys doing it. I have not had it done to me.
But I think you're being sexist,Christopher.
Maybe I just don't have any bro friends.
But when guys do it, it's calledstalking.
Yeah, I don't know, let's go on to a more family friendly story.

(42:29):
On the 3/4 Human podcast they brought up an animal story.
Explain it, but I mean I guess if you really have a try you
might be. Able.
The incident report notes that the man, quote, fondles the
ferret for quite some time. Oh, I'm uncomfortable with that
word. I'm.
Uncomfortable with this story? Then the man seen in the video

(42:53):
putting the ferret down his shorts walks out of the store
while holding on to the ferret through his shorts.
Now does that mean he had his hand in his pocket or outside of
his shorts? Good questions.
Yeah. Do you have any information on
this? Courtney, this happened in
Jacksonville, FL. Well, from what I know, that's

(43:13):
definitely one of those bizarre Florida stories that just makes
you shake your head. I'm not sure about the exact
hand placement, but I think we can all agree that's not the
best way to handle a ferret. You don't say it.
It's. Pretty solid.
See, I think This is why Courtney doesn't do Internet
searches anymore. How is he going to search that?

(43:34):
Yeah, right. All right, they brought up Bean
on the 3/4 Human podcast. Yeah, so OJ Simpson, the
Lindbergh baby, kidnapping the Beltway snipers in DC, do you
remember? That by the way, just a quick
insert there, I shouldn't say this.
The beans headed on the air at the time was slightly concerned

(43:57):
that it was his brother. What?
Before they caught him. Wow.
Because his brother's, I don't want to get him in trouble, but
his brother's kind of out there.Yeah, but that's there.
And now just being being a little paranoid.
Or yeah. I think so, yeah.
Yeah, wow. Because it turned out not to be
him. But we were like, no, what are

(44:18):
you talk? You really think what wow and
shouldn't were the authorities then?
No, I'll just go on the air withit.
Fuck it. Just between you and I.
Vincey did not like that clip. No, I just remember listening to
this and kind of being like thatis definitely not something you
should ever share with anyone. This was quite a story on Kevin

(44:40):
and Bean actually. Was it?
Yeah. Can you fill us in?
I don't remember it. Yeah.
There was, I think in the 90s, there was a person that was just
shooting people in the DC area that he was a sniper.
He would set himself up and he would just shoot someone,
anybody, a random person. So you'd just be sitting there

(45:01):
having a cup of coffee and then all of a sudden you'd get shot
by this sniper rifle. And it was terrorizing people
for quite a number of weeks. And for whatever reason, being
being being he thought it was his brother.
His brother's a little bit radical and, and a gun owner and
has like a kind of a, an idea, apolitical agenda, maybe.

(45:25):
I don't know. I forgot how he worded it, but
he was just like, I think it might be my brother.
And they laughed and they were like, you got to be kidding.
And and being was like, I'm not quite kidding, but it wasn't his
brother. And so, I mean, yeah, I think it
was one of those things where Bean was joking, but he was
really dry. So they were weren't quite sure

(45:47):
how far of that joke was. OK, looked it up.
What the heck? The DC or Beltway sniper attacks
were a series of coordinated shootings that took place over
three weeks in October 2002 in Maryland, Virginia and
Washington, DC. Maybe his brother lived in
Maryland or something. Yeah, Beans from Maryland and

(46:09):
his brother lives there, so thatwas the other.
Thing 2002. Yeah, I thought it was.
I thought it was earlier than that, but it was pretty, yeah.
It was just a pretty scary time where in Washington where people
were worried. Yeah, it was just so random, I
remember that. Yeah, it turned out to be a pair
of people. Two people, right?
Wasn't that like a father and son?

(46:30):
Yeah, it was. It was pretty weird.
Pretty weird moment in history, but we were all wondering who
the Louisiana Creeper was though.
The Louisiana Creeper. Was it bean?
I don't think it was Bean either.
Anyhow, let's move on to, let's backtrack, I guess a bit and ask
if Corny did listen to Quitters Never Give Up.

(46:52):
That was an assignment that theygave him.
So I have a question for you, Corny.
You had some homework. Did you do it?
You guys want to take a bet as to whether or not he did his
homework? No.
He promised not he would. He's twice.
He promised us multiple times. Yep.
So, and I'm going to say no, he did not.
Courtney, did you do your homework?

(47:12):
I wish I could say I did, but itlooks like I might have dropped
the ball this time. I promise I'll get on it for
next time though. Uh huh.
Your promises are worthless, AB.Do you even remember what you
promised us you were going to do?
Ouch, that one's things a bit. But I do remember I.
Promised to come up with that avatar design and maybe add a

(47:34):
top hat, so I'll make sure to get on that for real this time.
First of all, that's a secret noone's supposed to know, and
secondly, that wasn't the promise.
That wasn't. This episode we're talking about
the last episode and the episodebefore that you said you would
listen to Quitters Never Give UpPodcast and come up with a

(47:55):
favorite episode. You got me there.
I totally dropped the ball on that one.
I promise I'll give it a listen and come up with a favorite
episode before the next time we chat.
The only thing I can say is I never, never did my homework and
I would be called out all the time.
Why didn't you do it? I didn't give the excuses.

(48:17):
My dog ate it or whatever. I'm just like.
I just. I just didn't do it.
I. Don't know, I just didn't.
Yeah. And so I sort of feel for the
corn in that. Way did you make?
These false promises to your teacher about how?
Yeah, get told. Yeah, sure, because that's the
only thing that gets them to move on and leave you alone.
I think Corny is like Beer Mug. I mean, if you listen to old

(48:37):
episodes where they ask Beer Mugto do something, Beer Mug never
does it. I don't know.
Maybe that makes sense. I think that's why I have a high
tolerance for him instead of Lindsay.
Not like. Lindsay right, then two.
It's a program, so, and it's programmed to go do the things
you tell it to do. So you know, again, I don't
understand how it works. I just know it's a program.

(49:01):
So you know, if I go and it mustbe different somehow, but I see
people all the time talking to their phone telling you to do
stuff and talking to Siri and all that kind of stuff.
So why wouldn't it be able to gofind the podcast and listen to
it can? You imagine if Courtney was on
your phone and you go, hey, Courtney, put on my calendar

(49:23):
that I'm going to lunch tomorrowwith the president.
And then of course, nothing happens next day.
What happened, Courtney? I forgot.
Sorry. It'll be like I'll get right on
that. That's the thing though, you can
tell. You can tell Siri or whatever to
Wikipedia something or look something up, but you can't
Google what was on. Quitters never give up like
that, so I don't know. You can't Google us.

(49:46):
You can Google Quitters Never Give Up, but like you would it,
would you? It would take AI some time to
listen to an episode of QuittersNever Give Up, whether it's a
second or 10 seconds or the whole hour.
It doesn't happen instantaneously where the
computer just looks at the screen and just reads like in
like in The Avengers when Ultronjust like figured out.

(50:09):
Yeah. Anyhow, epic voice guy.
What did you think of this podcast roundup?
Stupid, dumb. Absurd.
Thank you, epic voice guy. Let's move on to the week that
was where Edwin recaps the week that was in 2014.
This week again now. Press the button, my friend.
Send me back into time. Edwin, our listener.

(50:31):
Edwin, he's a funny man. Edwin's funny pretty much every
time. Funny, funny, man.
There's another shit. Watch me.
It's a New day. You Can't Have the Power Feature
Presentation 114. The nose touches A and the

(50:56):
tongue goes into the. All right.
Welcome, Kitty. As we're doing the week that was
June 23 to 2720. Fourteen.
That's a very odd clip and it's a very odd story.
We're starting off with that there was a crowdfunding
campaign to do the teddy love. It's a teddy bear that's an
adult toy. So who else to break this down

(51:17):
but now? Let's find out, in as much
detail as we are permitted to go, what Teddy Love has what
what it offers you, the ladies. The nose touches A and the
tongue goes into the. All right, the.
Controls are in Teddy's ears, making him the ultimate
listener. And you are in full control.
Now the controls are in Teddy's ears, so I'm trying to visualize

(51:40):
how this works. Are you like steering this
little bear in? Front of you by.
Manipulating. Its ears.
You grab his ears like handlebars, then you just go for
a ride. Just like you do with your men.
That's right, Lisa, just like you do with your men.
Right. But then you've got a teddy bear
up in your junk, right? That's what's happening.
Got a teddy bear nestled betweenyour thighs?
No, that's not even the ladies love a teddy bear between their

(52:03):
thighs. That is not.
Sexy, right? Is he washable?
That's Teddy Fish feel gaitable.If you see Dawn, you're going to
think, where does that bear bin?You have to hose Teddy down when
this is all over. No, I don't know that she
mentioned whether Teddy is washable or not.
Let's find out some other features.
He can sit. Facing a woman while doing his

(52:25):
job, leaving someone's hands free to do other naughty.
Things Other naughty things, Ralph, Naughty things, giant and
hideous. Woman, what?
What naughty things are you doing with your hands while the
teddy bear is attacking your genitals?
What? What are you could you possibly
be doing? What could she be doing?
What naughty things is she doing?
My hands and her face so I can crochet a dildo cover.

(52:51):
Teddy Love can be used on men too.
OK, now wait a minute. OK, I really need to know if it
can be washed. I'm going to sit on Teddy's head
now. That's what I'm wondering.
What is she? Why?
Your hands are doing other naughty things.
I sit on Teddy's face. Teddy is very versatile, unique

(53:12):
and pleasurable. Our business, Teddy Love, is
based out of New Jersey in the United States.
Now that's important to mention.New Jersey, NJ, that's the one,
The one in the US, right? New Jersey is easily the sexiest
state of the. Union by far.
So when she brings that up, it just gets me all hot.
Our product is so novel and exciting that we had over 5.
Thousand hits on our Facebook page.

(53:33):
The. First week we went live.
All right. In case you're wondering, Ralph,
I know you sent this to me yesterday.
She just kicked off this campaign on Indiegodo.
Indiegogodo raised $50,000 on June 16th.
OK, that's the day that it. So it's been a week now, right?
She's trying to raise $50,000. As of right now she has raised
373 bucks. And that was family who was

(53:58):
pressured. Is this the lady that says the
really long Facebook URL with the front slashes and the back
slashes? She does sound like it.
Oh, that was Linda Pauley, right?
Yeah, I think that's what. You're talking about, yeah, the.
Spirit.com Yeah. Yeah, something like that.
Yeah, this lady has a New Jerseyaccent, which did not add to the

(54:22):
appeal, according to Bean and Ralph and Lisa.
But it gives me an idea when Ralph does his sex toy
breakdown, Bridget from Long Island needs to do it.
She needs to do the descriptions.
Yes. I personally love that New
Jersey accent, so it would do itfor me.
So anyways, $300.00 and she was almost there.

(54:45):
Bridget, you can come on the show now.
People always ask me why are youso obsessed with Lisa May?
Well, here's why. Grab his ears like handlebars
and you just go for a ride. Just like you do with your men.
Lisa rolls. Let's move on.
Something the K Rock audience once again entertains us.

(55:05):
They were doing a call in topic.What did you put up with because
your partner was so hot? So here's Oscar.
He was dating a stripper. Let's see what Oscar in Chino
Hills has to say. I gave you a heads up a long
time ago, Mugs. He should already be on the
line. Hey, Oscar, what's up?
Hey, party people. Hi.
So once you was a stripper two she had this two pit bulls.

(55:29):
I don't like dogs. I got bit when I was a kid
psycho ex boyfriends because they still thought she was hot.
I had to deal with. Them I had to get in
altercations with them. For two years.
Good. Lord.
Yeah, Oh, there's more. She had three kids and at times
I had to babysit because of that, because of her job.
She was, you know. And I had to take care of the

(55:49):
kids at night. She she was an alcoholic and did
drugs so once in a while. I had to go get the drugs
because we can get her in trouble.
She's a mom, of course. And Lord Oscar.
No, no, no. This is the last thing.
She had a threesome with my bestfriend and my best best friend's
wife. And this is 2 years you spent

(56:09):
with her. Oh yeah, it was great.
Sounds it sounds like a party every single day.
Why did she have a solid gold vagina?
No, just, you know, just the California blonde, blue eyes,
great body, just you know. But I think you can't.
Find that but. What do you say about you,
Oscar, that for two years you put up with all of that?

(56:31):
Yeah, it was. It was all worth it, man.
It was, but it what about it wasn't?
What about, to Ralph's point, that there are a million other
girls that look like her in California who don't have half
that baggage? Yeah, but you know, what a side
of all that baggage. She was really nice and a really
sweet girl. Yeah, it sounds like it.
Absolutely no. No, because there are no other

(56:53):
sweet girls out there either. You're right.
Oh OOO, why are guys so dumb huh?
Guys, I don't understand. Next up we have June 23, which
is the lovely Lisa May's birthday.
Now, QVC had caught on to Kevin and being, you know, calling up
and getting presents. So they couldn't do that
anymore. So what do you, what do you give

(57:14):
the girl who is everything? And Iran, we've been celebrating
it all day. All day.
Our own Lisa May celebrates yourbirthday, people.
Big plans for the birthday. Lisa, what are you going to do?
What? What's going on?
What's on the document? Saving it till since I was gone
all weekend. I'm going to save it for next.
Weekend have a big birthday. Oh, pleasure delayed.

(57:35):
Like that? Yeah, I'm good with the.
Weekend I turn them loose, girl that's let them go.
I'm gonna go shake them, baby. Shake them.
Lisa may look up for freedom. Lisa yeah.
Lisa may shake them girl. Wow, yeah.
Hello. Lisa.
Exactly. Lisa, I'll.
Breath a car when I walk to Showbiz Beach.

(57:56):
So a heartfelt tribute from Rodney to Lisa.
Oh, and they did ask the listeners to San Pina's
pictures. Shows you how much times have
changed. Remember, we don't condone this.
I'm just a reporter. I'm a journalist.
I have to report on what happened.
So happy birthday, Lisa. A loving and classy one from
Quitters. Never come out eleven years late
and like a weekly. Nice.

(58:19):
We were mentioning kale, so thiswas when Kevin was gone and they
finally stumbled upon the clip. This was from the Tuesday Open.

(58:46):
1212. If you don't mind, I would begin
at the beginning. It's a new day.
Let's get going 123456. It's a travesty of a mockery of
a sham. The mockery of a travesty of two
mockeries of sham. 10 people died in the Bronx last night due

(59:07):
to a fire that killed 10 people in the Bronx last.
Night during a fire. Our officials say all 10 people
died due to the fire, which was too hot for their bodies.
What is kale? Is that fish?
And now? I would pay $1,000,000 to know
what you're saying right now, $1,000,000.
I. I don't know what you're saying,

(59:28):
and you don't know what you don't know what.
This is. I don't know what that is, our
feature presentation. That's a good thing.
We're not in the. Communication business I was.
Thinking it sounds a lot like our podcast.
I don't know what I'm saying half the time.
Yeah, I think they played the kale bit like 3 times that week.
So Kevin was still gone. He was at the World Cup but they

(59:49):
had found it and they're going to bring it up to him when he
gets back, I assume. It's such a tease.
Just I remember when I was listening to it this like 2
weeks ago and they came up and Ijust had a text Eddie it came up
and I've just been waiting ever since.
I'm like I know but they haven'tmentioned it yet.
They didn't notice it at the time, so it became the bigger

(01:00:11):
thing as time went on. I don't know why.
I kind of thought Omar, he wouldcome across stuff when he was
editing or making a promos or whatever and then he would bring
it back up to him. And the listeners would listen
on the podcast, it might be a few days later, and then they
would send it in. Yeah, it could have been that,
too. The guys from Drunk History came
on the show. What's that?

(01:00:33):
Derek Waters and Jeremy Connor, and they were pitching the new
season that was just starting out.
It says right here, time to crack open the history books
because America's favorite inebriated storytellers are
returning for a second season. 10 episodes of the hit Comedy
Central series Drunk History begins on Tuesday, July 1st at
10:00 PM. Ladies and gentlemen, Derek and
Jeremy from Drunk History are back.

(01:00:54):
Guys, big fans, our third time back.
Thank you very much. Absolutely.
I think you're right. I think we had you before the
thing even debuted and then during the first season and then
here you are again ahead of the second season and Drunk History
is it's a thing that people like.
I hope it seems like if they keep buying it or giving us some

(01:01:15):
money for it. Now, I hate to think that there
are people listening who have never seen Drunk History on
Comedy Central. I'm on the same page with you.
The premise is as simple as the title.
It's people telling historical stories while drug where where
did can you just go back for folks who are listening to you
for the first time to the genesis of the idea?
Sure. Derek was talking to Jake

(01:01:37):
Johnson, our good friend who's now on The New Girl.
Nick from The New Girl. Adorable.
He was telling me a very drunk story of how he was trying to
convince me that Otis Redding knew he was going to die when he
went on the airplane that unfortunately crashed.
And he was trying so hard and hewas so passionate about this

(01:02:00):
story and I just knew it wasn't true.
But I just as a nice half intoxicated friend as I am, I
just kept nodding on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I kept picturing Otis Redding, you know, having to
come back to life and re enacting the story and looking
at the camera, like, come on man, this didn't happen.

(01:02:20):
So beautiful. But people always get drunk and
talk about music. But what's something people
don't talk about are things of importance.
So we combined that joke with something that is important,
which is history. So our first film was Alexander
Hamilton, played by Michael Cera, and Jake Johnson played

(01:02:41):
Aaron Burr and told by Mark Gagliardi, who is making his 4th
comeback this this season? Yeah.
The most amazing thing to me is I assume the stories are largely
historically accurate, right? Yes, the only yeah, the dialogue
isn't, but the facts are and yeah and then they're re enacted

(01:03:03):
by actors. I should have explained it
better, sorry. And that's what, and that's
what's remarkable is the re enactments.
I mean, to see to see actual actors that you know and love
basically lip syncing along to crazy drunk people is what makes
it funny every single week and. They do.
Such a good. Job of it.
It's so impressive. Like the burping in the middle.
It's amazing. Yeah, we got really lucky.

(01:03:27):
We Weird Al playing Hitler this year.
We're that lucky. I am deeply offended by that.
You are. Well, because.
It's parody. Great love for Weird Al.
Yeah, but he does parody so. He certainly does.
He's he's the best looking Hitler ever, I'll tell you that.
Don't we all want to be the bestlooking Hitler ever?
What a compliment. So I forgot how long that show

(01:03:50):
was on. I remember they came on the show
a few times. But what?
This was the third season. OK, so after the interview, they
were talking, you know, during the commercials and that was
when Beam brought this up, whichI'm sure we all remember.
By the way, Ralph is here for the show biz.
Being here on a Tuesday morning came up to Beam show.
I had a great idea, Ralph. We were saying goodbye to the

(01:04:10):
Drunk History guys. Yes, And I love that show.
Yes, but I don't drink. But I said, guys, if you ever
want to do a Pluto episode, if you ever want to do a little
Drunk History on Clyde Tumbaugh,the Great American who
discovered the planet Pluto, I will be willing to get as drunk
as you need me to get to be yournarrator for that show.
What? Yes.
What? He offered.
I offered. How amazing would that be?

(01:04:31):
Would that be, would that be thebest?
Because I don't drink at all. I will.
Pay them all the money. I will.
I will pay for the budget for that episode.
I will pick up the production cost for that episode.
I said, look, I'm in no rush to drink.
I don't drink. I don't care about drinking.
But that's how passionate I am about American hero Clyde
Tomball. And if you do that episode, keep

(01:04:53):
me in mind if they said they would.
So we'll see if anything comes off.
Sweet Jesus, it'd be fun, right?The biggest thing ever.
Yes, I think so too. Oh, that was such a missed
opportunity. How great would that have been?
So being come on our show and you can talk about Clyde
Tumbaugh all you want, get tanked up, talk about Clyde
Tumbaugh. It's fine with us.
Let's make this happen. 11 yearslater, we'll do it.

(01:05:16):
Didn't they not want to do it because they didn't want to open
up? He might be an alcoholic, they
said. We don't want to be the ones
that do that to you. Something like that and he was
saying like at panels and stuff like that people would get mad
at him for not having bean on. Wasn't that the reason Bean
never wanted to do any drugs or alcohol so he thought like it

(01:05:36):
would really affect his mind andhe might be the addictive
personality type. I think he said that a few
times. I think so, yeah.
Then he had a pina colada. This like last year during a
what? Yacht Rock Day.
And he lived. You lived, Bean.
Let's move on. Let's get some more Lisa May in
here. I'm Lisa May with K Rock

(01:05:57):
Traffic. Lisa never ever stop in the
middle of a hoedown that's. Excellent advice, Homer.
Damn it, Lisa. That's a clip I sent to be in.
I forgot he ever played it so I was very happy when I heard it
11 years later. Is it?
Is it safe to assume any Simpsons clip is yours?
Almost 99% chance, yeah. Every, every time I'm listening

(01:06:19):
and I hear The Simpsons, I'm like, there's Eddie.
Even now on a cup of tea, I'll hear a clip.
I'm like, Oh my God, I sent thatto being like 11 years ago or
more and he finally got to it. So you never know.
Do you guys think Ralph likes half Christmas?
What do you think? I think he does now, but not

(01:06:39):
then. Being brought it up and let's
see how Ralph reacted. Let's get some mad Ralph in
here. Hey, it's Wednesday morning here
on the Kevin of Bean Show. Ralph Garmin joins us in studio
for another look at the showbiz.Be here on half Christmas 2014.
Thank you. With that, please, I'm just
saying it's not a thing. It's a holiday.
It's June. It's June 25th.
It's not a holiday. Be happy six months from six

(01:07:01):
months till it's a big day. Christmas is 2 in six months in
six. Months I'll celebrate.
Christmas, But today you can celebrate half Christmas.
Then it's nothing to do. There's no celebration to have.
What do you do for the half? I have half.
You put up half a tree? Do you open up half a present?
Do you have a half a fruit cake?I go, I just, to me, it's just,
it's another Christmas. It's a bonus.

(01:07:23):
It's another Christmas. Though it is, though.
It's just another Christmas. Except it's in June.
What do you do? What do you do to?
Celebrate it. Well, you know me, I'm
Christmas, Christmas all the time, so I'm really the wrong
guy. But I think other people, yeah,
they put up a little tree. They have some music.
They have. Of course, you can't buy eggnog
this time of year, but you know,like Christmas cookies.
I mean, I think they do. I think they do all this stuff.

(01:07:44):
I think it's getting. Bigger every year, if you
listeners, if you put up a tree,if you eat some Christmas
cookies, if you listen to Christmas music on today, June
the 25th, please call in 1-800-520-1067.
You don't think there's anyone out there celebrating half
Christmas? Well, I'm going to go to Showbiz
Beat. We'll see if anybody calls in
all right, and if they are, thenwe'll have a conversation.

(01:08:06):
About it. I bet we've got some
celebrators. I really.
Do you go right to hell? Well, you're a Grinch, is what.
You are. I'm not a Grinch.
I'm just a person who has a calendar who knows when
Christmas is. I have a calendar too, and I
looked at the calendar this morning when I woke up and I
thought, hey ho ho ho, it's halfChristmas.
Will you stop it with that? So they did a call in topic and

(01:08:29):
some people call in, but all they did was like they had a
Christmas cookie or they listen to a Christmas song.
So they didn't go all out, you know, and get a tree and and
really do have Christmas big time.
I think Lindsay listens to fruitcake every half Christmas.
Don't we all going to finish this up?

(01:08:50):
They had a short week in 2014 because Kevin was at the World
Cup and they were going on vacation too.
So I got a little bit of extra time.
Here's a challenge to my fellow drop detective, someone like
Kristen who came on the show or even Jen who listens to old
shows. This is a little listen to this
little drop. It's Lisa May, and I heard it a

(01:09:13):
few times and I'm like, I want to find out where that's from.
And I never could. So here's the first time they
played it. On May the 28th at the El
Capitan Theatre, they're having the world premiere, right?
How often do you get to go to a world premiere with the likes of
Angelina Jolie? If you'd like to go now, call me
1-800-520-1067. First two callers through get a

(01:09:33):
pair of passes to the world premiere of Disney's Maleficent.
This is not true. It's not sold.
I guess this is not sold on that.
Fine. You're not going.
You don't go. Come on.
You don't go. No, no, I just.
I There's no thinking involved in that.
Take it. So that little hmm I thought

(01:09:54):
well I know it was May 27th 2014.
I go well I'll just start going backwards so be easy to find.
I listen to like 10 shows of oneday.
My head started spinning never found it.
It's hard to find a teeny tiny hmm in a 2 hour show.
So if anyone out there can help me, I'll give you like a frozen
yogurt or something. We'll give you a prize.
Didn't you find it? You sent me two clips that we're

(01:10:17):
in. I said 2 that I thought were at
but then I don't think they are right now.
Like I said, it's really hard tofind in a 2 hour show.
I think they're a composite. You think so?
Yeah, I think that I think beingspliced in the end of the second
one to the first one. OK, well I'm gonna do that and

(01:10:37):
I'll see if it sounds the same to me.
Yeah. But anyway, Kristen, you're good
at this. If you can find it, let us know.
OK. That's it being what did you
think of my segment this week, the week that was I?
Don't know that there's a showerthat's hot enough to get the
taste of that last segment off me, I'll tell you that.
That was tough right there. Oh, it wasn't that bad, Ralph.

(01:11:00):
You you liked it though it. Just gets unbearable.
Sometimes it just gets unbearable.
Oh man, I'm over to Lisa. You got my back.
Holy crap. He's.
Handsome. OK.
Thank you. I'm going out on that.
Back to you, Steve. Excellent.
Nice. All right.
I think that's the episode, right?

(01:11:22):
I found this. OK, you're going to get us

(01:11:45):
cancelled and or muted on Spotify but I always thought it
was like a surfing song. That sounds more to me like that
one. Song.
That's the That's the monsters. You've never seen the monsters.
What? It was on TV.
Oh, OK, so on TV, do you think Iwas alive for the entire time

(01:12:05):
that TV was a thing? You know, they do these things
called reruns. They don't just it doesn't
disappear. There is, there is.
The network saves them and replays them over and over
again. And on what channel would you
think The Munsters would be rerunning that I would watch?
It was on like Nickelodeon. Everybody was on me TVI bet you
can find it like on Prime or maybe Hulu.

(01:12:26):
Watch an episode just just to humor me and Christopher.
Thanks for listening to QuittersNever Give Up,
[e-mail] us on Twitter at
Quitters, Never Instagram at Quitters Never Give Up, or send
us an e-mail or voice message [e-mail].
Thanks a ton to Kevin Stock Day,all from the Kevin and Bean

(01:12:50):
Archive for providing the audio.To make any of this possible,
visit [e-mail].
He does this all on his own dime, so if you want to support
him, please send a PayPal to [e-mail].
And finally, thanks to Paul Lee for our logo.
You can follow him on Instagram at Moby Decker.

(01:13:11):
We'll see you in the funny papers.
Bye everyone. Bye everybody, goodbye.