Episode 197 - So housebroken

Great guitar riffs, Happy the donkey, old tv, a summer warning, the Mexican flag, a skunk, Rosa G aka Karla, and Kevin joins the US men’s soccer team!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Should we start the show? Let's start the show.
Before I start the show, I must say that I had put a moratorium
on poop jokes and poop talk, butI got a bunch of messages this
week so it's it's coming back. Just when I thought I was out,
they pulled me back in. Poop emergency.

(00:34):
Incredible. Is it time of the year again?
Because I be pooping, I don't know if people have a poop, what
you call it? Google Alert.

(00:55):
Thank you. I wake up to a disturbance deep,
deep within my bowels. And by disturbance, I don't mean
like, Oh my God, this is an emergency land the plane in the
water. I just mean like.
Quitters never give up. Go ahead.

(01:17):
Repping for all of quitters. Never give up.
Check off Christopher. Check off Jen Fastorini.
Check off Lindsay. Hello, Drew.
The great Ed Wynn, ladies and gentlemen.
I love him so much because I said quitters never give up and
he said that's all they do. It's Monday, July 7th and I'm
alive. Yay, Kevin's still alive.

(01:38):
Awesome. It is episode 187 of Quitters
Never Give Up. Nope, Nope.
One 97197. Very good.
There we go. I counting is not my thing, much
like Kevin's. Let's go ahead and say hello to
the quitters. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
It's Jen. So excited.
Yeah, she was. She was great.

(01:59):
Hi, Jen. Hey, party people.
Next quitter? Yeah.
So, so super quick question, Lindsay.
How'd you get the 1st? How you doing, Nancy?
Doing great. Can't wait to see how this turns
out. It's gonna be either the best
episode or a two-minute episode one of the two.

(02:21):
All right, let's say hello to Edwin.
Edwin, Edwin. Edwin Edwin Edwin.
Poo Poo poo poo. How you doing, Edwin?
Good day mates. Let's say hello to Drew.
He said chili and cozy and I said, Andrew, if you ever say
the words cozy and chilly in under 14 seconds again, you will

(02:47):
never touch me, OK? I will divorce you and we will
never speak again. How you doing, Drew?
Chilling. Cozy my man.
Chilly and cozy. Nice stay chilly and cozy and I
am Christopher. Like yesterday Chris had to walk
through poop. Thanks, Edwin.
Thanks for that one. We're running a lot of clips

(03:08):
here. Hello and welcome to a very
special flashback. Because.
I'm going to introduce you now flashbacks.
And now flashbacks. Let's have a look at this.
Just play the intro. We haven't done this in a while.
We haven't done a best of all time list in a while.

(03:31):
This latest comes from BBC Radio2.
OK, so keep in mind there is a British slant to this list.
But listeners were given 100 choices and they said, tell us
what you think is the best guitar riff of all time in
Rock'n'roll. Oh, that's pretty good.
The vote voting was done by listeners, the radio host of the

(03:54):
BBC, music critics and record producers.
So these are people who know some stuff.
Here are the top 10 according tothese folks.
Top 10 best guitar riffs of all time in Rock'n'roll.
You ready? Here's #10 love it.
Money. Pink Floyd.
Pretty iconic. That's a good one, sure.

(04:15):
How about #9 Yeah, the cakes. You really got me.
That's pretty strong too. Pretty strong.
One thing I know about this listis Kevin will hate all of the
songs. Hey, no, he's 2 for two.
He's like this. That's pretty good.
How about #8? Plus being you forget, I don't

(04:40):
have to listen to the whole song.
I only have to listen to 4 seconds of the riff.
That's right. OK, Dire Straits, money for
nothing. Sure, great riff.
Next one. Here's some of the British
influence coming into this list.Status quo.
Remember your status quo. I'm not.
Yes, I'm not. This is from a song of there.
It's called Down Down. It's great tune, but that riff

(05:06):
could be any number of songs. Yeah.
Sounds like they're just playinga Chuck Berry song.
Yeah. How about this one?
The Smiths, of course, with how soon is now.
Sure. Now the top five.
I got to say every one of these spot effing.

(05:26):
Oh, you agree with no one. The plants with the top five
starting with this one. I may have ranked this one a
little bit higher than five. It's Layla by Derek and the
Dominoes, of course, the classicEric Clapton riff.
I may have may have moved it up on the list a little bit, but it
can't be too picky. Here's #4 there it is.

(05:48):
Yeah, there it is. You've ever been in the garage
band? Yep.
Played that riff, Deep Purple, Smoke on the Water.
How about this one? These, a lot of these songs are
the reason people decide to get a guitar and start a band,
that's for sure, because they want to play these notes.
Sure. But the wig in Armenian comedian

(06:09):
version of that, of course. Yeah.
Back in Black by ACDC. Can't complain about this one
either, for sure. That's pretty good too.
On that. You hear that?
Yeah, Turn it the F up. Yeah.
Sweet Child of Mine by Guns and Roses.
And this was #1 again, I told you there's a little bit of a

(06:31):
British bent to this list. However, you got to say it's
pretty iconic #1 whole lot of love by Led Zeppelin.
You need cooling, baby. I'm not fooling.
It's not a bad list. Not a bad list at all.

(06:53):
I thought they did a pretty goodjob.
No, Smells Like Teen Spirit, by the way, on that list.
Yeah, well, they must have been just outside the top 10 when
you're thinking of iconic ITAR riff.
I agree it's a great song, but Idon't know if that riff in
itself just is as timeless as these.
I think it is. But what are you going to do?

(07:14):
You can only pick 10. Yeah, good list.
Bean is with lists. He's oh, sure he's got a list of
lists, what he likes. I put this at #4 of the all time
greatest guitar riff lists, lists the way I get around, the
way I get around that is I just,I put however many I want in.
So it's the top 10 riffs, but I've got 15 that I like.
Oh, I see how you're doing. Just makes it much easier.

(07:35):
So we're going to be like Kevin and we're going to bring some
more to it. I don't know.
I think that one for our generation is totally iconic.
Yeah, it has a place. But does it knock those other
ones off? I think it should knock off that

(07:55):
Chuck Berry one that wasn't Chuck Berry.
Or they should put a Chuck Berrysong in there.
OK, what about this one? I mean, still, it's Nirvana, but
it's another. One Nirvana all the time, right?
It's a bit of a downer, it's a little slow.

(08:17):
I'd go with it is, But what about the Stoneman?
Stoneman. I know, right?
Well, I didn't want to bring toomany, but here's one for the
older ones. Any rush bounds out there?

(08:38):
Nope. Nope.
That's not possible. OK, all right, this one we all
love. That's a good one.
I think I I would. I'd put Sweet Child of mine over
that one. True, true.

(08:59):
Yeah, we're we're doing Kevin's list, so we just add more to it.
All right, I got two more. OK.

(09:25):
Anyone. Did we get to the roof yet?
When I was driving, I crash in my lane.
There's no shade on your list, Jen and I love this song, but
the beginning of it is so different from what it turns
into. I know.
Question for the musicians in the groom.
Some of those like the Nirvana ones, they they don't seem like
a guitar riff to me. What do you guys think?

(09:48):
Both Nirvana songs, even the Guns and Roses.
To me that doesn't qualify as a a riff like the other ones.
Like Layla's a riff. It could be classified more as a
rhythm guitar part, but it is definitely a lead guitar part.
So it's counts, sort of. But yeah, I, I see, I see
Eddie's point, but it's it's Jen's list.

(10:10):
So it's perfect. It's fine.
OK, last one. I've waited here for you.
Anyway, that's my list. Did anyone else bring any?

(10:31):
I was thinking, I think Kansas has a really good card guitar
riff. Carry on, my wayward son.
Somewhere in the middle of that.What does that sound like?
Oh geez, I just heard it the other day too.
Do do do do do do. Or how about I was thinking The
Beatles revolution. That's a good one, good guitar

(10:52):
riff. Or Helter Skelter.
Now that's a riff I. Mean there's tons.
Yeah, something with Jimmy Eat World.
Or Owl City. Boy, those guys were.
Obviously. I was going to say like 90s
music kind of dropped the rift format.
So I guess that's what Eddie's trying to go with.

(11:13):
But I was I, I, I brought this one in.
So yeah, that's a that's strong,Jimi Hendrix.
Nice, I was thinking they all would make a great party
machine. Yeah.
I was going to say, it reminds me of that, that one music

(11:37):
commercial that used to come on on daytime TV.
Is that Freedom Rock, man, We'llturn it up, man.
The kids are lost. K Tell, Yeah.
Oh, Grandpa. Back in my day, we had riffs.

(12:00):
All right, you have more flashbacks, Jen.
I do. So last week I was on vacation
and I spent a few days in beautiful British Columbia.
Kevin, you spend much time up there in BC I love.
What's the city? Damn.
Vancouver. Vancouver.
Yeah. Shut up, Bob, are you're not
even supposed to be. I love Vancouver and we were

(12:20):
talking with Chris Carter. How much you love it.
We were talking with Chris Carter a couple days ago being
about Vancouver and us going up to visit the set of The X-Files
and everything. Such a great city.
They have great weed. Vancouver is is an amazing city,
one of the greatest in North America.
And then once you get outside ofVancouver, BC is just beautiful.
I mean, if you if you love nature, if you love the
mountains and the, and the treesand the streams and the lakes

(12:43):
and all that stuff, you won't find a more beautiful place.
I feel like there's some stalling going on right now.
No, not at all. But the reason I was up there
timeshare trying to get us to invest in the reason I was up
there is I went to visit my donkey.
You guys remember Happy, right? My donkey, I used to have used
to have cows and chickens and and sheep beetles and sheeps,
the whole deal. Right.
And he had a he had a by the way.

(13:03):
And it was a Jackass too. There's a reason they call
donkey's jackasses because Bead's donkey, which he named
Happy. Yeah, Jackass, back to you.
Why do you say that? Why do you say it was a jar?
Why don't you tell us the rest of this?
Is this the donkey that you had his balls in a jar?
Yes. OK, as long as we're we're he
brought. He brought the jar with the
balls in it to work and left it there for about 10 years and

(13:24):
left it in his locker for 10 years.
So the short version of this story is that Happy was 11 when
we adopted him and he had not been neutered, so we took care
of that. And yeah, I did save his
testicles in jar. But the point is.
Then I had it. 18 years, he was my pet.
But all of the other donkeys live a long time.
They're like horses. So all of the other livestock
died. So all my cows were gone, all my

(13:45):
pigs were gone. Everybody just went off to a
natural and so Happy was all by himself and was lonely, frankly.
And we didn't think it was fair to let him just be out the
pasture by himself because they're very social animals.
So we did a little research and we found a donkey refuge that's
just a wonderful, wonderful organization up in British
Columbia. And that's where he's been
living for the last two years. And I still how busy are those

(14:06):
people, by the way? How, how many years do they wait
in between donations for the Donkey Refuge?
People are just giving away donkeys.
They have 70 currently. Ralph What?
Yes, it's a, it's a, we don't have time to get into it.
It's a wonderful charity. It's called Turtle Valley Donkey
Refuge. But they rescue all sorts of
abandoned and abused animals andthey are just the solve the

(14:28):
earth, nicest people in the world.
So happy lives up there. I still pay for his care every
month, but I had not been personally to see him.
You have too much money. He has too much money.
I don't want to be a burden, nota charity to look after my pet
if I can afford to pay for it so.
Anyway, I think that's. Awesome.
For the price of one bullet, youcould have ended this all.
Wow, wow, wow. Look, that was a rough comment,
but it's hard to argue with. So I thought, hey, I'm on

(14:51):
vacation. I got a little bit of time.
It's beautiful weather for a road trip.
I'm hitting the road. I'm going up to BC and I'm going
to visit my boys. So I went up to see Happy.
Now he lives. I mean, it's remote.
You guys, you guys have all beento Kamloops.
Everybody's been to Kamloops. I have been to Kamloop.
Don't know what that is. It's like 50 miles outside
Kamloops, down 10 miles of dirt road and there's this 80 acre
donkey refuge. And I went to see my donkey and

(15:13):
I was so excited to see him because 18 years were together.
I know how happy I was. I kept thinking, how excited is
Happy going to be when his man shows up?
When I come to this man, his manshows up.
Wait. A minute.
What the hell is he put? Is he put on lipstick?
This is just healed. No, he's my donkey.

(15:34):
And his person. You know what I'm talking about?
His former owner. Like that baby, Your man's home.
His former person that used to take care of him.
So I believe it went South so fast.
It really did not at all where Iwant to be.
So I in my mind, I'm envisioningone of these YouTube videos like

(15:58):
that one with the lion, those people who saw who came to visit
their lion that they used to be with, right.
Lion jumps up and gets on their shoulders and starts licking
them all up. And I think this is going to be
one of the great love stories ofall time.
This reunion of me with my donkey.
We go again. Love story.
Yeah. Man, oh, man, you're creepy.
And I show up and I walk out to the corral where Happy is.

(16:19):
He must have galloped over. He do.
Jockeys gallop, and yes, of course they do.
He turns and he sees me, and nothing, nothing now, nothing.
Do you interpret that as he had no idea who you are?
Or I do, or you're dead to me. It was.
It was that. Well, when you put it that way,

(16:40):
maybe that's what it was. Oh, well, my man who got rid of
me. Oh, and I was back F you.
That's what he was thinking. I don't know what he was
thinking. And in a way, I mean, maybe this
is just me rationalizing, but ina way, I guess I'm kind of glad
that he wasn't like, jumping up and down and excited and licking
me and everything. Like, that's what you wanted.
No, I thought that's what I wanted.
But in retrospect, I thought, you know what?

(17:01):
It's actually best that he has forgotten about me and forgotten
about his old life. And he's not, like, sitting
around because they're real smart animals.
He's not training for the old days.
Freaking geniuses. Nasas got some on staff.
I think that would be best for all of us if we were able to
forget you. No, what I'm saying is I hope
that he's just so happy with hisin his new environment.
He's got a girlfriend and he likes the new people that are

(17:23):
looking after him. I'm thinking that's maybe it's
best that he he has forgotten the old one.
Well, we have. I'm happy to announce that we do
have Happy on the phone. What?
Wait, what? You got my donkey on the phone?
Because I wanted to find out what, you know, what the reason
was. Did he recognize you?
Did he not recognize you? Oh, this is fantastic.
Happy. Hey, it's it's Daddy.

(17:44):
How are you, Daddy? Jesus Christ, come on.
Don't you call yourself daddy Toyour animals?
To pets? I think it's not uncommon.
Your pets. You're not their daddy.
How you doing, Happ? What's going on buddy?
I was fine until this phone call.
How come you never speak Englishto me when I'm there in person?

(18:05):
I don't want to speak to you in any language.
So so so. Just for clarification, though,
happy you did turn around and see Bean and you recognize him
as your former owner slash lover.
Of course I did. OK.
How do you forget that? Yeah, well, I mean, I would hope
you wouldn't forget me. 18 yearswe lived together.
Did the Jews forget Hitler? That's a fair analogy.

(18:29):
That's a little happy. That's a little exactly what it
was like. It's a little strong.
How far do I have to move away from you to get you to leave me
the hell alone? I But I put you in a great place
of donkey refuge. Just leave me be.
I just, I wanted to visit and say hi.
Yeah. You know, when you get a divorce
for somebody, you know what yourex-wife just stopping by and

(18:49):
said, oh, I want to see how you're doing with the new wife
and kids. Let me sit on your couch for a
while. Get the ass out of my life.
It had been two years. I just wanted to say hi and see
with my own eyes that you were getting good care.
That's all. Beautiful years that I was away.
And then I have to relive the horror of seeing you come up
that dirt road and you're happy.Happy.

(19:12):
Your man's here. Teddy's here.
My butt clenched just hearing your voice.
Oh, no, it was just, it was justa drive by to say hello.
Patch on the head. Just take a take a picture, rub
you a little bit and drive by. I'm sorry.
Rub you a little bit. Yeah.
Oh, you're disgusting. What's disgusting, human?

(19:32):
He drove by me and they rolled the window down and said you're
pretty. You have a girlfriend.
He's mad. I have a girlfriend.
That's the person. Is that what it is?
Because Daddy wants to be the only man.
Not like that. Come on.
Get off the phone, you pervert. Come see Daddy happy.

(19:53):
Daddy's here. Your man is back.
Daddy's here. Your man is back.
Happy. Oh my God, that's hilarious.
Who's? Your daddy.
Horror happy. Or being paying for paying for
this donkey for 18 years. No, didn't say.
He had him for 18 years, I thought, and he was at the

(20:14):
refuge for two. It reminds me of that gold
digger song. 18 years, 18, that's all.
That's all that loops in my head.
Hadn't had a kid. Now she got you for 18 years.
Only Kanye song. I know.
All right, another clip, Jen. Nope, that's it for the
flashback and less Eddie wants to play his riff.
Oh, the riff. I refreshed my memory on the

(20:36):
Kansas lick from carry on. My wayward son goes near near
near near near near near near near near near near near near
perfect. Listen to it kiss.
It's great. I don't think that'll get us in
trouble with copyright. No one can identify it from
that. Yeah, probably.

(20:58):
Not I'm surprised nobody broughtin Bastille.
It it it it it it? Yes.
All right, now it's time for thepodcast roundup.
The Pooh is back. Nailed it.
You get it. And when you?
Want her to put out your podcastWe got?

(21:19):
It. Thinking no, too happy?
Goodbye to the Blues, Yankee. Podcast.
The poop Cruise. Let's talk about all the nasty.
The poop cruise. Yes, it's come behind through

(21:45):
the walls. Did a bit of audio engineering
over that. All right, let's go over to Not
Today. They talked about old TV.
How much does it suck that kids don't get to experience The
Wizard of Oz the way we did growing up?
When we were kids, it was like, it only came on once a year.

(22:06):
Yeah. And like, for two weeks, you'd
be talking about in school, like, Oh my God, yeah, it's
going to be. And you could only watch it on
TV. And then and then Kita was like,
you know, you can sync it with. Dark Side of the Moon and Trip
Your Balls. But that was that's back when as
a country, we had that collective experience where we

(22:27):
all watched something and we could all talk about.
Now everything is a la carte andstreaming and you like you like
your show. I like my show.
Back then we had three networks and we all watched whatever was
on. We all could like V.
We all fucking talked about V. Yeah, V What's V?
Visitors. It was a mini series on TV about
aliens that came down that were like human skin, but they were

(22:49):
like lizard people underneath. It's like a huge mini series.
You guys are aging yourself. Hillary Clinton was the lead.
Actress. This was me.
This must be what my kids feel like when I try to talk to them
about anything in the 80s and 90s.
They're like, what's that? V was huge.
V Kids, do You remember V. They they did another V, they
did a remake of V and that's theonly reason why I know about V,

(23:12):
the first V. The remake wasn't any good.
It's got to be the original, Edwin remembers.
The the original. Barely.
I don't think I watched it. For some reason that one didn't
hit with me. I remember they had hot chicks
and they were like lizard peopleand they would eat rats, right?
Yes. It was kind of weird and gross.
Not sci-fi enough for me, Not geeky enough for me.

(23:32):
It was an alien invasion. It was straight out of OK.
It was like to Serve man from the Twilight Zone.
They came down all peaceful and stuff, but then they turned out
that they were eating people because they were lizard people.
I actually know that reference. Dang it, I just lost the bet
with Christopher. I think she got the Twilight

(23:52):
Zone reference right. Correct.
It was a great show. I remember being 10 years old, I
had to watch it talking just like Eddie, talking with all my
friends about it and I, I brought up other shows to
another friend of mine who's about the same age.
She had no clue about them. So I'll go through the list of
what we had, what we had discussed, BJ and the Bear.

(24:14):
I I knew BJ. You knew BJ.
Not your BJ. No, no, no, no.
My mom grew up next to the person that was on that show.
You the guy that played BJ? Yeah.
Did you meet his chimp? No.
But they're the Betty White's zoo was right down the street

(24:35):
where the chimp actually did live.
Hollywood Touries. You need to call that in as a
almost famous. Oh my God, you're so right.
Oh baby. My uncle was on an episode.
Your uncle was on an episode of BJ and the Bear.
Yep. Fuck, I'm doing a podcast with
celebrities. I did not know this.

(24:58):
Drew, Jen, call in, put both those stories together.
That's an almost famous for sure.
Let's go over to the Kevin in the afternoon.
Megan, how they had a story. They were talking about getting
high at work or the first time you're getting high.
I forgot what it was but this isMegan Holiday story.

(25:18):
Yeah. Can I tell you a little story,
please? So I took, it was my first time
taking acid. It's kind of in the same family.
And I took like 5 tabs, OK. And in my mind, I was stuck in
the 90s. I was seeing like, you know,
people on sea doos in the lake. I don't even know.
But I went, I didn't, I don't remember this, but I went

(25:38):
outside and I lit a $5.00 bill on fire.
And some of my friends, I guess they had to like shove me back
inside. I did see the half burnt $5.00
bill the next day. But I don't know what it is
about lighting things on fire with me in the sky.
Listen, I love lighting things on fire as well.
So that was her story. She took five tabs of acid.

(26:00):
I don't. That's impressive.
Yeah, I can't even fathom that. Can't her laugh.
Reminds me of Sarah Shahi. True.
Yeah, I've been enjoying her on with Kevin.
Yeah, same. Yeah, I know we have the poop
Crew story coming up, The poop Crew, but not yet.

(26:21):
Not yet. Teaser, teaser, teaser.
Sorry that'll be up soon, but wehave this summer warning from
Kevin. It's Kevin Ryder and Megan
Holiday. This is the kind of story that
happens at the beginning of summer because they want to give
people a heads up to stop doing this.
OK, I'm sure, I'm positive that the numbers in Los Angeles are

(26:42):
the same as they are for New York.
This particular study comes out of New York.
It starts with the line. Hold on to your butts.
Oh, I love, OK. I love that already.
Parks The Parks Department was forced to close its swimming
pools 200 and three times last year to clean up a visitor's
poop. Oh my God.

(27:04):
Two. 103 times. Oh my God, that's insane.
Now pools are opening on Friday,basically, and they're just
begging people. Records show 44 of the 52 public
pools had to be closed at least once last summer because of the
dookie. What?

(27:24):
What are people doing? I don't know because I don't.
I mean, can you get out of the pool at least, right?
You really can't handle it yourself.
On a single day in August, 12 pools were browned out.
They call it. They have a Level 1 incident and
a level 2 incident. I don't want to go into too
many. Details.
There's levels. To this thing, well, there's

(27:46):
solidity issues, OK, OK. But we're just saying, look,
we're already dumping our sewagesewage into the ocean, so let's
let that be how we're ruining the Earth.
Yeah. And let's not poop in pools.
Yeah. Are we asking for too much?
I don't think so. I don't think so.

(28:08):
That's sound advice from Kevin writer.
You don't normally get sound advice from Kevin.
Don't be a. Fool, don't poop in the pool.
Perfect. All right, we all know that
Ralph has an irrational hate of country music, but this one also
leads into Eddie's intro into show business.

(28:30):
Eddie Pence's. Fuck that song.
All the way down away. Oh my God, that song.
Bapa bapa Mau Mau torture. The worst kind of corny

(28:51):
horseshit country music in the world.
When we were kids, my brother and I, when we did, when we
vacation in Myrtle Beach, my parents would go to Myrtle Beach
every summer. We'd sit at the back, in the
back in the pool deck of the yachtsman.
That's where we stayed at the hotel, the yachts.
And there was a band out there that would sing Elvira and they
were called Red Eye, It was called Red Eye.

(29:14):
And we when Red Eye would sing Elvira, my brother and I would
go up and we would do the umm bapa.
Part umm bapa. Your introduction to show
business. It kind of was, and to the point
where we would do it. We were there for a week and we
did it. And by the third day, everyone
on the deck hated us and wanted us to stop doing it because they
kept, they kept, they started. They hated hearing that song
because it's awful. And so people literally got you

(29:36):
could they got visibly upset when they'd see us walking up to
the microphone because they knewthat song was coming.
Everything about that song, everything connected to it, has
brought nothing but misery. Could you imagine if Ralph was
at the at the yachtsman? I think we wouldn't have any
pence living right now. I think that.
Would have thrown them overboardfor sure.

(29:57):
Bag desert. That's all.
I'm sorry, that's a good song. I'm not much in the country, but
that's a good song. No, it's not.
I don't know. No, I could just imagine the
little kids going up there and the first time it's kind of
cute. But the the 7th time of the day,
I think you're you're done. I think it'll make you it'll

(30:19):
turn you into bean. Anyhow, let's go over to 3/4
human podcast. Jen had a call in.
Hi, Marcie, Slugo, Kevin and Cornholio.
It's Jen from the Quitters NeverGive Up podcast.
We cover all the things in the Kevin Bean creative universe,
old Kevin Bean, current Kevin onK rock, the Ralph Report, cup of
tea in a chat, janky town, Hollywood, Babylon, 3/4 human

(30:43):
podcasts and more. We'd love to do a matchup
podcast with three quarters human or maybe just do one
American dollar. We also would love to have Marcy
on so we can all get to know herbetter as well.
Love you mean it by and keep up the work.
So yeah, you got to arrange thatMarcy, you should be on there's.
A lot of fun. I've done it, Kevin's done it,
and then I'm thinking. A mash up episode would be fun

(31:04):
between all of us, right? Yeah.
No, that would work easily. Right, so we had.
I have. No clue how to do that, but
maybe we can figure it out. Yeah, we'll figure it out and
we'll get to it. And thank you so much for the
call, you guys. Hopefully we can figure that
out. I mean, it's online.
Yeah, it should be easy. But that would be awesome to
have Marcy on and to be on, I don't know, before it's human.

(31:27):
Although I don't know how we would do one American dollar.
We would probably just talk overeach other, be a mess kind.
Of like this we get $0.20 each. No.
Can we go around the room? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A long or. Could be like, yeah, exactly we
would. Oh yeah, I was going to say.
All ten of the people. But we all have to agree on an

(31:47):
answer. Good answer, good answer.
We'll. Include Toby Dragon.
Chicken and let's let's go over it too, continuing with 3/4
Human podcast. Marcy versus a skunk.
No, this morning was on my way. I was getting ready to leave and

(32:09):
he needed to go out. The second I opened the door, he
I think he already knew that theskunk was there because he was
acting a little more excited than normal and he just took off
after the skunk. I'm.
Going to get that stupid thing. And then they started running
towards the door. So I went, oh great, now the the
dog and the skunk are coming in the house.
Like started to close the door and I saw the I saw the butt.

(32:34):
I saw the skunk his butt. And I went, this is this is not
going to end well for Beau. That's when he got sprayed.
I saw the butt is always a terrible sentence.
It's a very terrible 90. 9% of the time.
Yeah, and you know, just it, it stopped him in his tracks.
He stopped chasing the skunk andhe came right in and looked at
me like. What the hell happened and?

(32:57):
I didn't have time, I had to leave and I so stinky house all
day. Oh, so so Bowie stayed in the
house? Yes.
Oh, I can't take him outside. No.
But what do you do, you know? How are you breathing?
Because that's I. It's nasty.
You're a really nice dog owner. That's good.

(33:17):
Yeah, I don't know how she does that.
I I mean, I would have just saidyou belong to the skunk.
Now you live outside. Yeah, no, she totally did all
the wrong things. And it's like that you leave
that dog outside and then you'vegot to get whatever cleaners and
things for it. And I, I have a sign at the
store on the door said no skunked dogs.

(33:39):
Because once they bring it in for the bathing, then my my
store's gonna smell like skunk for a week.
I would have thought you had a solution.
My next question was what do youdo when a dog gets sprayed by a
skunk? Gin.
You leave it outside and I think, what is it baking?
And it's funny because I just listened to Lisa May back in
2014 when her dog got skunked. I want to say it's Dawn dish

(34:02):
soap, hydrogen peroxide and baking soda, and you just drench
the dog in it to get it out. And then I have, I mean, there's
stuff you can buy that has the enzymes to take it out, but I
mean, you still have to give thedog like 345 baths to get the
smell out. Don't.
Bleach your dad is what you're saying?
Basically And one time it was winter and Brandon was taking

(34:27):
going back to the Bay Area to gowork and he had Granite with and
granite got skunked like right across the street and that idiot
drove 3 hours with that stinky dog in the car and then dumped
it off at PetSmart for them to go bathe it.
That dog that smells gonna be your car forever.
Yeah, that's why I don't have pets, kids.

(34:48):
That's why I only have kids. That's what I don't have kids.
All right, let's go over to a cup of tea in the chat.
Dang it. Not yet, not yet, not yet.
Cup of tea in the chat. We got Edwin had a call on
there. Speaking of rubbing off on you,
here's our friend Edwin. Being an alley Edwin from
Quitters Never give up Welcome back so great to.

(35:11):
Hear a new. Show however, you may want to
knock the rust off. Go to the 11 minute mark 1100.
Why was there no bill there? OK, look, you're back to work.
We understand you're going to get up to speed quick, but put a
bell on that for me. And it was my first tube ride.
That was exciting. Oh yeah, your first ride on the
Tube Alley. A lot of people are very excited

(35:33):
to hear some details about that Right not.
That, yeah. Great catch, Edwin, great catch.
They still did not a bill. Come on Bean.
Oh man, well, it's it's their mentally.
Fix it in post. Yeah, there.
You go, let's see. And then there was the greatest
quiz answer ever. What are the 2 animals that are

(35:55):
depicted on the Mexican flag? If you've ever seen a Mexican
flag, you used to live in LA, You probably saw them from time
to time. There are two animals on that
flag. What are they?
I know they're red, white and green.
Let's go with an iguana. Iguana, Yeah.
And a parrot. An iguana and a parrot on the
Mexican flag for obvious reasons.

(36:18):
Really, you're a huera. Growing up in the Valley, I
don't know if you had a Mexican flag out in your yard or not,
but this is your chance if you remember to win this game.
I'm just seeing the eagle and I can't for the life of me, I'm
like thinking of like all the leaves on the bottom of the
eagle. What, what other animal is
there? Is there like a fish horse?

(36:38):
Is it a horse? Is there an Otter, An eagle and
an Otter? Is that?
I hate to ask, but is that your final answer?
Yes, it is. Ally, it's an eagle eating a
snake is what's going on there. Is that what's in his mouth?
Yes, it's a snake. And I was offended at 1st and

(37:00):
then came back all all around tobe totally happy with that
answer. That was just the greatest thing
I've ever heard. And if you look on the Facebook
group, I created a flag just forthat occasion.
Let's see what is the next story.
I'm not really sure the. Poop Cruise.

(37:23):
Let's talk about all the nasty poop.
Poop cruise. Yes, it's come behind.
Through the walls. So do you guys want the full 5
minute explanation or do you want just Ali's reaction to it?

(37:45):
I think we'll go with Ali's reaction.
So I posted that on Instagram and I'm gonna tell you the
amount of people that were like just watched it.
I don't know if people have a poop.
What, you wanna call it poop? Google Alert.
Thank you because the amount of people that were like watched
it, I'm like it just came out last night and he never, we

(38:09):
never heard from him again. Did you cut me off?
That's a great story. I did.
Your timer went off, I was told.I was told to give you a timer
for it and. I was told to bring it in.
I honestly, I was going to say just like Valerie, I was
underwhelmed. I actually did not had no

(38:29):
interest in watching this documentary because I kind of
knew what was going to happen. It was just going to be gross
and there wasn't anything going to be even really funny in.
It Christopher, you're our poop correspondent.
What the heck? I might.
I'm the poop joke correspondent,so it's got to be funny.
I mean, there was that one scenewhere there was the cook.

(38:50):
He he got out of bed and the whole bottom was just full of
water and he's just hanging by his chunk glass.
The whole floor was all full of water and he's just in his chunk
class. I I thought that was hilarious.
I'm sorry, Lindsay. What did I do?
You did this, Eddie. I did.
You did this. I.
Actually did not pull this clip from the Cupertina chat for this

(39:11):
podcast until Edwin brought it up.
So it's all Edwin. Great.
Eddie, what do you think of thispodcast Room Top?
He's gone it. This is by.
This is by his request the. Story is crap.
My request was 20 seconds and. And I did.
I got cut off and I'm just. I don't know if I don't know,

(39:31):
son, you mentioned it or I already watched the documentary
and then Eddie Pence is posting photos from his cruise.
Good luck there, Eddie. I got out of it OK.
The other thing that that was funny was the the women that
were there for The Bachelorette party and then oh, the one guy
that was there for his, his likewith his, he was engaged with

(39:56):
his fiance and he's there with the in laws and he went on a
Poseidon adventure type search for the only functional
bathroom. Yes.
That was crazy. Now that's a movie.
Yes, he's just crawling through these corridors of grossness so
that he can find one clean, working bathroom.

(40:17):
This is a Will Ferrell movie, a parody of the Poseidon
Adventure, The poop Sidon adventure.
Come on, let's make. Eddie.
I can't help it off of. Christopher's side it.
Goes right there. He's.
Sucking me back in, so to speak.Gross.
And then then The thing is, is that he gets back.

(40:38):
He's like, I didn't know if I wanted to tell the in laws.
How do you tell them that you found the one clean bathroom?
I was like you tell them. I'm never leaving the bathroom
exactly. Yeah, stay there.
I'm camping there. Yeah, they say knowledge is
power, so. Exactly.
I would sell. I'd sell maps to people like,
hey, couple 100 bucks, I know I'm getting off the boat.

(40:59):
I mean, you knew that they were going to be inconvenienced
really badly for four days, but they were eventually getting off
the boat. No one was going to perish.
What's it like 8 days? I don't remember like this
segment, it's been 8 days. I'm on a life raft on day one.
Exactly. When they saw the other cruise
liner, why didn't they get a life preserver and jump off?

(41:21):
Because, you know, the other boat doesn't.
Have firing flares whatever SOS show me to Cuba.
Yeah, I mean, I I would try and get off of that boat, but you
know, that's just me. Anyhow, Ali and Bean, what did
you think of this roundup? Were cocktails involved number

(41:43):
one of. Course they were OK.
This whole thing was born of alcohol judgement.
We can see that right? Very true, very, very true.
Woman on a TikTok video that Lindsay sent me for some reason
because it was hilarious. What did you think?
My butt hole's raw as fucking hell right now, thank you.
Thank you very much. You should watch it, it's

(42:07):
actually good storytelling and she's hot if that helps.
She's hot. With a raw butthole.
It was better than the poop cruise documentary I I think the
subject matter negated any hotness of her but it you know
the better than the poop cruise documentary for me.
I'm exhausted. I enjoyed it.

(42:28):
OK, all right. Week that was take it away shit.
You caught me by surprise there.Land this boat, Edwin.
Press the button, my friend. Send me back into time.
Edwin, our listener, Edwin, he'sa funny man that Edwin's funny
pretty much every time. Funny, funny man

(43:03):
who's in? Oh man.
When are you kidding me? Let's do this.
You're right Lisa, let's do thisduring the week that was we got
July 7 to 11/20/14. The big news was did Kevin die?
What do you guys think? Did he die?
I'm going to keep you in suspense from this 11 year old
story. Before we do that, let's do

(43:25):
Ralph. He was doing a Hollywood Babylon
tour in the UK and he had an interesting person come up to
him. My favorite moment, I think was
in Birmingham. We met some people backstage
Afterwards, some fans of Babyloncame back.
And so he said, Oh yeah, it's a great show.
I really enjoyed it. And I said thanks a lot, I
guess. So do you think Kevin's going to

(43:46):
die in Brazil? How do you listen to the podcast
over here? We're all, we're all taking bets
whether Kevin's going to die or not.
A lot of people think of those bets.
So even in England they heard about that.
And here's Petros on the same subject.
Let's talk World Cup. You're watching.
Yes, you. Sadly, I'm very well.

(44:06):
First I was watching for your imminent death.
Yeah. And when that didn't happen, I
was. I found myself sucked into the
tournament. I tweeted out that I think a lot
of people pictured me as an Ant,and I'm more of a cockroach.
Like I'm not like. You're going to survive.
I Will Survive everything, but you are not well currently.
Oh no, I'm sick now because of what?
You. But it was so worth it.
Yeah, it seemed like a headache.It was, so perhaps my my

(44:30):
warnings of you having your organs harvested were a bit of
an exaggeration. Just a little bit.
So let's get to the seven July 7th show.
Let's see what Kevin said when he first came on.
Morning everybody. It's brand new.
Kevin Abede show. It is 538 and it's Monday, July

(44:51):
7th and I'm alive. Kevin.
Hey the man, bitch. Although having said that, I
thought I was going to die several times.
Yeah, well, nobody in the pool had Kevin lives.

(45:13):
I know that's so. We're all, I mean, we're happy
to see you, but we're kind of disappointed too.
I got so many tweets while I wasthere going.
You're still alive, like sort ofdepressed.
Dude, come on, you're. Supposed to die here.
Clearly not having enough fun yet.
I remember thinking I didn't know that I was really supposed
to die. I thought that was just them

(45:34):
trying to make me feel bad. Well, I want to hear all about
you. Almost.
Dying came back from Brazil for the World Cup.
It was a trip of a lifetime. Awesome.
Sounded amazing. Barely made it back, but enjoyed
it. I'd like to start with the 4th
of July song, though. OK, Do we have any of those?
And then we have Halloween. You know, you have some
Halloween songs that you always hear.
There's a billion Christmas songs.
But 4th of July, other than the patriotic type music, yeah, you

(45:57):
don't really have a song. Except for perhaps now this one.
Incredible is the time of the year again.
July 4th is here. Let's start.
Let's start. Who's in?
Oh man, when are you kidding me?Let's do this.
Don't worry, Lindsay, Lindsay's so disappointed.
We're going to hear more. So that is the first time they

(46:21):
heard about Rosa G So Kevin brought it in and this was like
a couple days later they got Rosa G on the show.
Yesterday we played a song for you called 4th of July, which
is, I don't know, just awesome. Only awesome.
They played it for you twice. I know 4th of July was last
week, but we sort of just discovered the song and it was
by somebody named Rosa G Well, it turns out Rosa G is not

(46:44):
actually Rosa G It's somebody bythe name of Carla, who we have
on the phone right now. Hi, Carla.
Hey. How are you guys?
Very good. Thank you.
How are you? Good, great.
Thank you so much for showing that that track.
How did you come up with that song?
Yeah, it's amazing. And let me just ask before we go
any further, did you do it bad on purpose?

(47:08):
Kind of both, I mean both. It was kind of like both, yeah,
it was kind of both because, youknow, my partner, which were, we
were producing it and I was like, you know, there's nothing
really on the 4th, right, Right now.
Like we need to have like something, some catchy things.
Halloween music. There's Christmas music for
years. Exactly.
Exactly. So I was like, let's think about

(47:29):
something. And they were like, he loves
raps. I was like, OK, cool.
And I love characters in comedy,of course, right.
But. You you pretty much you sort of
rap talk through it. Were you a little worried about
that? I mean?
Not that's much. You just figured you just go for
it. Yeah, just go for it.

(47:49):
I mean, it was and the characterwas so like, you know, it was
kind of cool because she, she loves holidays.
She's just all about holidays and she loves rats.
You know, Rosa G is all about that stuff.
You don't have to tell me about Rosa G She and I go way back,
yeah. Exactly.
I see her like a sister, like Napoleon Dynamite sister.

(48:11):
That's how with a little bit of like Latina thing in there, you
know, she just happens to have that.
But she's just very, very much in love with the holiday, so, so
yeah. So hopefully she's going to come
up with something too. Carla, how many holidays, how
many different projects have youdone with this Rosa G character?
Right now, I mean I've done someon stage with her but never

(48:33):
like. Did you stand?
You do stand up. I do more sketch comedy.
Yeah, so. So, yeah.
But right now with video, it wasjust her like, so this is like
we were at all. I'm not expecting anything, to
be honest with you. I was I was just doing the most
fun. I mean, I have a YouTube channel
where I put my stuff and all that stuff.

(48:54):
So it was just like a super surprised they're.
Just doing it to be funny and and people found it and I don't
know there were there were 300,000 views before we before
we found it I. Said yeah, the Internet, I guess
is. So it's just crazy.
Yeah, so just that fast. They found out about it on
Monday, had her on a Tuesday. 300,000 views on that video.

(49:16):
Where'd they find it? Yeah, it seems to go away every
once in a while and you can't find it and then it comes back.
Well, the thing that I was goingto say is that she a few years
back at what I had heard is thatshe got upset or embarrassed
about the character and she scrubbed it from everything.

(49:37):
So you can't find a lot of the Thanksgiving or the Halloween
videos or even 4th of July unless somebody reposts it.
And I think the one video that Ifound is from like mean a meme
group. So it it just kind of people
just reposted because they have it saved.
I get I get why she had to, she felt like she had to scrub it.

(49:58):
But also it's such a bop. I love it so.
Much, isn't it? Yeah.
And I heard that I was humming that all week.
It is. It's really catchy.
So she came on and she seemed really excited because I think
this thing just came out of nowhere, and then it kind of
blew up, and I have forgotten this.
They played the song and they added some Lisa Mayer lyrics,

(50:21):
which you know is going to make it even better.
So here's 4th of July starring Carla as Rosa G and Lisa Mae.
Incredible is the time of the year again.
July 4th this year. Let's start.
Let's start. Love the 4th of July.
Love the 4th of July. I do it up peak on the 4th of

(50:42):
July. Love the 4th of July the the 4th
of July. The neighborhood's clearly and
chilling outside. Can you feel it is that summer
glory when I get to celebrate USA story printing up and they
it's just starting. I brought a picnic to choose
Kabari. It's a holiday or nations
birthday rain white and blue allover the place.
It's so hot I can't believe it. A nice cold drink.

(51:05):
You're going to need it, but I'mfresh.
I'm looking real mean looking. UV SPF 15 paper plates with
patriotic doodles. Wave a tiny flap for my pool
noodle. Love the 4th of July.
Love the 4th of July. I do it up big on the 4th of
July. Love the 4th of July.
Love the 4th of July. If I saw that on the 4th of
July, 4th, 4th, 4th of July, 4th, 4th, 4th, 4th of July, 4th,

(51:31):
4th, 4th, 4th, 4th, 4th of July.Friends call the grill.
I know why Burger smell delicious.
I can't pass by you take my bun,I'll take yours.
Anyone know who brought this fruit skewers?
Check my T-shirt. There's a new go on it.
I love the forest and you can bet on it.
As my cousin, as my aunt and my third cousin, He never friends

(51:54):
pledge allegiance to funding thesun.
I'm proud to be American. Don't need no water, don't need
no sand. Expressing my dogs musical
theater, fat TV. My hot dog bun is gluten free so
think I'm square fruit or meek. 4th of July isn't butthole week.
Independence Day. Independence Day.

(52:15):
I make it rain because I'm Lisa May.
Independence Day. Independence Day.
I'm all turned off. I'm Lisa May.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, bitch. 4th of July,
of the 4th of July for 4th, 4th of July, 4th, 4th, 4th of July,

(52:38):
4th, 4th, 4th of July, 4th, 4th,4th, 4th, 4th of July.
Can I just say it's been a good day?
Real quick shout to Mama. July 4th, the 2nd to Dada.
Walking home with an empanada. 4th, 4th, 4th of July 4th, 4th,
4th, 4th of July. 444-4444, 444-444-4444.

(53:07):
I'm not sure that you nailed allof those 4th, 4th, 4th, 4th.
I love that you insisted on making it 4th, 4th, 4th, 4th.
I thought that was brilliant. I know.
Oh my God, that was amazing. That was hilarious.
We're huge fans of it. We'll tweet out the YouTube
video again of of 4th of July. Carla, you do good work as Rosa
G. OK.

(53:28):
Thank you guys. So so.
Much No, she does great work as Rosa G and then she called back
on the Afro line and do the new song for Kevin and Bean.
Oh wait, that that's my playlist.
Sorry about that. Nothing to do with Rosa G Let's

(53:48):
get back to Kevin. Why do I want to be Kevin
besides the great job and that he's Kev dog.
He oversleeps, he misses his plane to fly home from Brazil,
and this is what happens. And at about 9:30 at night I see
a giant pair of huge Nike shoes come walking past me and I look
up and it's Tim Howard. It's just like, I don't know,

(54:13):
like 810 people in the lounge and Tim Howard walks by and sits
2 seats over and I'm just like geeking out like and recapping
for those who, who don't know the name of the goalie for the
US men's team who was Superman. I mean, he was, he put in an
amazing performance. So I don't know what to do.
I want to talk to him, but of course he's exhausted.

(54:34):
He's would talk to people bummedtoo, because they're kind of
bummed, right? Great game.
And then then I see Omar Gonzalez from The Only Galaxy
and then I say Clint Dempsey come walking it and it's the
team. It's the US men's national team
going to be on your flight. They are all in the lounge.
Oh, OK. So they kind of rope off the
lounge. And so now it's me and the US

(54:56):
men's national team, as it should because you're a member
of the team. What, Like in what world if I
wouldn't have missed my flight or whatever?
I called my wife and I said, you'll never believe this.
And she goes, you're the only person that could miss your
flight and it would work out like this.
Well, you have been failing up your whole life.
That's true. I said, look, that's it's very
true that that is the case. I have nothing.

(55:17):
I don't take credit for it, but I do get really lucky.
So there they all are, Jermaine Jones and the whole team.
Well, you got to talk to. Him so I did get my picture
taken with Clint Dempsey and I got my picture taken with with
Tim Howard. Yeah, that's pretty cool.
And and Omar Gonzalez from from the Galaxy.
And then they all kind of said farewell to each other.
Most of them went to Miami, someof them went to to Houston.

(55:39):
A couple of them went on my flight back to Los Angeles.
So that was weird enough, right.So then we get to give me the
bullhorn, won't you? So then we get to the LAX after
this long flight, and the pilot has been made aware that there
are US, you know, team members on on the flight.
Yeah. And he's like, hey, just ladies,

(56:00):
Ladies and gentlemen like to thank the United States mass
national men's team for putting on a great show.
We're all very proud of you. And I'd like everybody on the
plane to stand up and give them an applause.
So everybody stands up and givesthem an applause.
And I stand up, and as I start walking out, people start
shaking my hand and congratulating me.

(56:22):
Really great job. Really proud of you.
And at first I was confused, like I don't know what's
happening. And then I realized I'm somewhat
near Omar Gonzalez, right? They think I'm on the team.
Yeah, Look at me. What are the chances of that?
But the first guy that shook my age, your age, you're still
playing the sport, man. The first guy shook my hand.

(56:43):
And I I was dumbfounded. But then I was like, he thinks
I'm with the team. I'm just going to accept this.
And I was like, you're welcome, Sir.
Happy, happy to serve. And then everybody else saw him
shake my hand. So for the rest of the flight, I
was on the US men's national team and everybody was
congratulating me, high fiving, high fiving me.
And we're proud of you and thanks for representing the

(57:03):
United States. We're signing some balls.
I didn't actually sign any autographs.
Omar Gonzalez, who was behind melater came up and he said that
was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
He said everybody was convinced you're on the team.
And I said I know. And I was perfectly willing to
allow that to happen. So.
So that was my trip. And I got home maybe at 6:35 the

(57:26):
day before. I think it was July 3rd.
I got home at 6:35 in the morning and you know, now I'm a
member of the team so I'll be travelling with the team and.
That's awesome, Kevin. Looking forward to seeing you in
the team picture. I don't know which what position
I play yet, but I'm sure they'lllet me know.
Sure. I'm proud to have served well.
Thanks for thanks for making an exciting season.
Thank you. We can put that in the file only

(57:47):
Kevin right the. Story behind him waking up late
is that his group, including Ed Williams and Captain Bad Idea,
they made a pact to not if anybody wakes up late, they
don't wake him up, no matter what city they're in.
So this was the last day Kevin had woken up on time.
His phone died and he wakes up and he misses his flight.

(58:10):
Nobody, nobody messages him. And they're leaving the country.
You know, they're leaving, leaving them behind in a foreign
country that they've all said he's going to die in.
They're like, you know, so I don't know, Just the fact that
it turned out so good for Kevin is amazing.
That group was like the reverse Marines.
They're no man left behind, and they're every man for himself.

(58:32):
Exactly. I think what we're missing here
is that Kevin's already rich at this point and he's at the
lounge with the US men's soccer team because he's in like the
rich people lounge. So I'm pretty sure, if I had to
guess, that they knew he would be fine.
Well, I mean, he's in, he's in Brazil, in a foreign country

(58:54):
that they said, you know, they might, he might not make it.
No. No, Lindsay's right because what
happened is when he went to the ticket counter, they said, well,
the next flight is in 12 hours, first class, you know, non-stop
on the way home. So he just waited in the lounge.
She's right. But still, I do love that that
they're like every man for himself.
Yeah, I would have wound up in storage with the beans donkey

(59:17):
underneath the plane or something.
Yeah, I was thinking if that happened to me and I missed my
flight, that would not have happened.
I would have been like in baggage under some suitcases.
I'd be missing a couple of kidneys.
Yeah, no. Kevin's got charm and also luck.
It's an unbeatable combination. Yeah, it does.
Next up, this is for Christopherbecause he does so much work for

(59:38):
us. The Pooh is back.
I didn't want to have to announce this early, but.
Oh the K rock poo. K Rock Poo's bag.
Oh, it's not just the K Rock poo.
It's really the city poo. It's L as poo.
Here's what happened. Yeah.
And I, I'm not exactly sure how it happened, but for some reason
there's a pipe and it comes up out of the ground on the
premises here at K Rock and it is sort of an air vent.

(01:00:04):
Yeah, I mean, it was. It was smelling like Godzilla
ate a field of asparagus and taking a dump on her.
I think we understand. I don't think it was poopy.
Smell your smash with this like someone had been smoking a butt
hair cigar. You know, butt hair cigar is
also a good band. It smells like a pair of Dox
boxers after you ran a marathon.You.

(01:00:26):
Know crap, my computer, it's rejecting all the poo clips.
I'm sorry, Christopher, that's alittle bit of the story.
I'm I'll give it to Jen some other year and she can play the
whole thing for you. No.
You got a majority you think through, Yeah.
No, I'm sparing you all. Wait, what's that?
Someone else wants to talk? OK, this is a call in topic.
You pretended to be someone famous to get in somewhere.

(01:00:49):
So what happened was someone called in and said they
pretended to be Shaq. So we're going to talk to people
now who have lied about who theyare to get into places.
We will start with Bob on line 6.
Hi, Bob. Hey, how's it going?
Good. Thank you.
So I always, I always get, hey, there's Shaq.
Shaq. Shaq.
Yeah, Shaq. And it's up.

(01:01:12):
So First off, does this guy sound like Shaq at all?
100% a. 100% to Drew. OK, Drew.
It's not places I'm trying to get into, it's chicks I'm trying
to get on my belt, you know? Right.
Another notch on my belt. So wait, do you look like Shaq?
Yeah. You don't sound like you look
like Shaq. No, not at all.

(01:01:33):
No, totally. You look like 7.
Two. You're 7 foot 2.
Yep. And probably.
What is Shaq? Weigh 300.
Yeah, big dude. Wait a minute.
So you. So this voice sounds, you know,
Brad, how many like chicks you get?
This voice sounds very familiar to me.

(01:01:54):
This voice sounds very familiar to me.
Wait, who is it? You know, Jason, is that you?
You know how many chicks you getmaking their wee man?
Making your wee man. Yeah, I everyone.
So wait a minute. So.

(01:02:15):
So, Bob, you're saying that Bradsays that he's we man more than
he lets on to me. Because to me, he told me this
was the first time ever. No, no, no, no.
He lets it on. I love it.
He rides it like Ferris wheel. I love it.

(01:02:37):
I sort of felt bad now. I'm fine with it.
How dare you now that I know that's how he lives his life.
I love it. Good enough.
Thank you for the call. Thanks, Jason.
You Sir, are a liar. I've been outed by wee man
himself. You are a liar, said Shaq.
I'm like, this voice sounds way too from Yeah, I was like what

(01:02:59):
the hell, Good job. Yeah, remember, Kevin just told
that story. Was it on 3/4 Human where they
pretended to be Wee man's bodyguards and they said, hey,
wee man's back there, he's getting hassled, can we get in?
And then after they told that story, Bob called him, well
done, Wee Man busted him. That's what I miss about live

(01:03:20):
radio. It can only happen on live
radio. It can happen.
On my podcast, Yeah. So here's something that just
came up out of nowhere. Here's a couple of early ones
that they did before they actually did this segment. 6.7 K
rock is KROQ. You're listening to the Kevin
and Me show at 853. Was it bean?
No, I don't think it was. All right, we're going to do a

(01:03:41):
new feature tomorrow. I'm very excited.
New game. Was it Bean?
Was it Bean? Yeah.
And a new feature called Was it Bean?
I can't wait. Was it Bean?
We'll explain when. Don't worry.
We had we've had the idea for two or three days.
I think Ralph came up with it. And so we've just been waiting,
just holding on to it for you tocome back.

(01:04:01):
So we can. Do this now that you're back.
I bet it's going to be fun. Was it bean?
It was fun. So I guess they just had this
idea and then you heard him comeout of break and just say was it
Bean? The next day, this is when Bean
got back as he was on vacation. And now I look into the
creepiest stories in the news. Where we asked was it Bean?

(01:04:27):
OK, what's it being? What's this about?
Wait a minute, What's happening?Every time a creepy story
happens in the news, we can't help but ask ourselves was it
being? So wait, so here's your life is
seeing creepy stories of the news and then wondering if
somehow I'm in handcuffs. Yeah, that pretty much
summarizes it quite well. When we sit around the office

(01:04:49):
and someone says, oh, this is a creepy story, someone inevitably
asks, was it being? And now we will find out today
if it was Bean. Starting with the first story,
police say they were able to identify a man who hit a video
camera in a woman's locker room at a gym, recording the women

(01:05:09):
changing their clothing for over20 minutes.
Was it Bean? Did you do that?
No, I didn't have anything to dowith that or I can already tell
you to advance any of these stories, Massachusetts police
say they were able to identify the man who'd put the video
camera up because he started recording the video before he
put it up. So basically the 1st 10 minutes

(01:05:32):
was of his face installing the camera, installing the camera.
So that one was not being. Of course.
He wouldn't have done that. He wouldn't have got caught, no
question. A Seattle family gets a rude
awakening at 2:00 AM when a nudeman breaks into their house

(01:05:53):
reciting scripture. We ask, was it B?
Did you break into a house in the in your neighborhood and
start quoting scripture? Well, dude, no, I did not do
that. 2:00 AM Yeah, it turns outit wasn't B2 AM.
Was the Seattle family scared todeath?
Guy breaks through the front door, stops downstairs, starts

(01:06:14):
yelling Scripture versions and is nude.
So the wife calls 911. The guy grabs a baseball bat,
runs downstairs, finds naked yelling Bible man and naked
yelling Bible man. Runs out of the house.
And that. So you're saying that that
wasn't my proximity of my life? This was definitely not me.
Guy was on acid, so I guess we should have.

(01:06:35):
Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
He likes heroin. That's true.
That's partial. And Leslie, a man is behind bars
for allegedly snapping pictures of a woman's buttocks without
her permission at a used car lot.
We ask, was it B? Now, that was you.
That had to be you. There's no question about this.
That was you. You weren't on vacation.

(01:06:56):
You were in jail for taking pictures of a woman's ass as she
looked inside a car for you guys.
Not. Not me either.
Not involved in this case at all.
Oh, no. You know what this guy is?
His name Pedro Elemento Zungo Martinez ohh and he was arrested
on this charge Tell me if you'veever heard this improper visual
photography. I have not.

(01:07:17):
He went to buy a car and the I'msorry, a woman went to buy a
car. He was a salesman there and she
bent over to look at the car andhe was like snap, snap, snap,
snap, snap, snap, snap. Well, that that visual
photography is the best guide. That's the that's the Chard.
So that was you being that was that again, not me.
I'm I'm sorry. We easily could have been you

(01:07:38):
though, no questions. You could have done all they all
could have been you. All of them very well could have
been you. So you could see why we ask was
it being it will be next. Not being that time because he
would have said to the girl you're pretty before I snapped
your picture. Would you like to come in and
take a shower? That's another good one, but

(01:08:00):
that's where was it being started.
That was July 10, 2014. That's it.
By the way, Lightning, what do you say about this segment?
Would you like to listen to it again?
Just give me some warning so I can run to the hill.
OK, back to you, Steve. Thank you Edwin.
Well, this has been another fantabulous episode of Quitters.
Never give up. Reach out to us on social media

(01:08:23):
Twitter, Instagram, Gmail X. Rosa Gmail.
Rosa AH. That was.
Good. Yeah.
All right. All right.
Thank you. Bye, bye, bye.