April 7, 2025 • 30 mins
Helping Ordinary Women Build Extraordinary Businesses, Brands, and Lives They Love While Unpacking Their Inner SHEEO with Episodes Enriching Your Mindset, Wealth, and Faith Factor
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Rachel Medina is an Entrepreneur, TEDx Speaker, Christianpreneur, Mommypreneur and an ordinary woman who ditched the C-suite for the SHE-suite by tapping into the new and exciting laptop lifestyle in the SHEconemy, and who built multiple businesses from home, after divorce, as a single mother over 40!
The Rachel Unpacked Podcast is here to help you avoid common mistakes by learning the lessons she learned along the way! Whether you're a corporate baddie wanting to ditch the grind or a single momma ready to learn a new money making skillset from home, the Rachel Unpacked podcast is for you.
Access resources mentioned on this show here www.rachelmedina.com or at SHEEOX.com
As seen on: TEDx , Wharton School of Business, The Christian Channel, LATV's Get It Girl, Rompiendo El Silencio, David Meltzer's Playbook IG-LIVE, StartEmpire Wire Podcast, Jackie Hernandez Live, Canvas Rebel Magazine, SDvoyager Magazine, Keynote Women's Leadership Conference, to name a few
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to another episode of the Rachel Unpacked podcast.
I am your host Rachel Medina andin every episode we talk about
mindset, wealth, building and faith for every girlie who is
looking to change and level up her life.
If you want to follow me on social media, you can do so at
Rachel Medina 101 or visit my website rachelmedina.com.
But if you are ready to build a business in a life that you
(00:23):
love, head on over to our new she eox.com site again, She EO
dot com where you are going to find a tribe of like minded
business building, dream aspiring girlies just like you
connecting, learning and growingtogether.
And a new CEO X partnership program means we attract the
(00:43):
talented, experienced and successful women who are ready
to teach you how they did it so that you can succeed too.
Let's go. Who's ready to change the
chemistry of their brain in 10 easy steps?
Basically, I heard these 10 quotes and I was like, I could
(01:04):
do a podcast episode on every single one of them, but I am
just going to pack them into this one episode to give you
that super powered ultimate shotof brain power until it changes
the chemistry of your brain. Because this is this is.
Let's just get into it #1 don't chase people who know exactly
(01:26):
where to find you, ladies, OK? No caption needed.
Don't chase people who know exactly where to find you.
Don't do that. And that doesn't mean, here's
the thing, that doesn't mean if you miss someone, right?
Like miss, like, OK, Like, oh, Imiss, you know, my cousin, but I
(01:47):
haven't heard from them in a while.
Like there's nothing wrong with just sending a little message.
Hey, thinking about you just hope that everything's well,
that you're doing good, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
That's OK because you know what that is?
That's like spreading kindness in the world.
That's like spreading joy in theworld.
And that's being very authentic to yourself.
Chasing is like, they all got together and didn't invite you.
(02:09):
Don't be like, wow, thanks for the invite.
And the next thing you know, they are like eye rolling going,
oh, we got to invite so and so because you already know she's
going to start talking shit or whatever.
No, that's chasing OK. Don't don't do any of that.
You don't got to do that. Let people be Mel Robbins, let
(02:30):
people be and let people show you where you stand in their
life and then accept it and it'sOK.
And and, and by the way, I know I was like, no caption needed.
And then I just went off for 5 minutes.
But by the way, there is a cliche saying that says life,
life's rejection. It's God's protection.
If you were praying girlie, and you're asking for protection,
(02:51):
you're asking God, you know, to bring good into your life and to
remove all the bad things and this and this and that.
And all the sudden you stop getting invited places.
All the sudden the guy that you're seeing isn't that
interested in you anymore. Like all the sudden you lose
your job. I mean, that sounds extreme, but
I mean, I'm, I'm telling you, all the sudden that social group
or those partners in business orclients or whatever, all of a
(03:14):
sudden you start losing this left, right and center.
Well, you know what it's, it's aprotection.
It's a prayer answered, right? Because God knows what they're
saying when you're not in the room.
He heard things you didn't hear.He saw things you didn't see.
Be grateful. Don't chase people who know
exactly where to find you. Got it #2 It's OK to feel sad
(03:39):
after making the right decision.And I'm glad that that's number
two after #1 because when you decide to live according to a
certain standard in your life, acertain standard of being, it
brings you so much peace. But at first, it's
uncomfortable. It's very uncomfortable.
And an example of this is if youwere in a marriage.
(04:03):
And you know, I did that podcastwith my friend Dalia, and it was
a lot of fun and we talked abouta lot of these things.
So you can go check that out if if you want to sort of catch up
on that. But one of the things that I was
very, very adamant about in regards to relationships and
marriage specifically is pay attention to what is being drawn
out of you. Are you becoming a nag?
(04:25):
Are you becoming his mom, right?Are you all of these things
right? And so are you solving problems
for him instead of like giving him the time and space to just
figure it out? And, and what that looks like is
to be able to say, yeah, I decide that that's not the
(04:48):
energy state that I want to exist in.
I want to exist in an energy state that is calm, that is
cool, that is collected, that ischarming, loving, girly, silly,
fun, peaceful, loving, whatever that state is.
(05:08):
That does not include nagging like raising your voice,
screeching, like sighing, like eye rolls, like all of that.
OK? And the reason it's OK to feel
sad after making the right decision is because in a
relationship situation, when youdecide, OK, I'm just going to
let the chips fall where they may.
(05:28):
I'm just going to let him leave the toilet seat up.
I'm just going to walk in and like, put it down because it's
not worth the fight or he doesn't want to take the trash
out. I'm just going to let it stink.
And then one day he's going to come home and be like, God, Lee,
why does it stink in here? And you're going to just go?
I mean, I don't know. And then you could slowly gaze
(05:52):
over towards the kitchen trash. Is the decision to reside in
your calm, blissful place a painful decision in that
scenario? That's painful because you're
like, Rachel, I don't want my house to stink.
Nobody does. But guess what?
It's the only way. It's the only way.
(06:13):
Otherwise, you're going to either be one of two things.
You're going to be screeching and yelling and being the nag
and the and the mom energy that you don't want to be to your
husband and your partner, OK? Because you didn't subscribe to
that. You didn't sign up to that when
you said I do. Or two, you're going to be that
woman who's like a man saying I'll just do it myself.
I'll just do everything myself. I'll just do it myself.
And then three, you're just going to be like harboring all
(06:35):
those resentments, OK? You choose one, you choose two.
You're going to end up with three resentment.
OK, there's no plot twist there.That's just what it is.
OK, so when you choose to acceptfor the example, to live in a
relationship that doesn't have lies, to have friendships that
don't have jealousy, that don't have betrayal.
(06:56):
When you choose to surround yourself with family that
doesn't gossip, OK, Be around females who aren't freaking
giving your man the eye. When you make these decisions,
you lose people. People fall away When you begin
(07:19):
to hold a higher standard for your life.
People fall away. When you begin to choose a
better version of yourself to say I'm going to start working
out now. You know what, I'm going to
build a business and I'm going to start making money.
Or you know what? I'm going to start travelling or
I'm going to start whatever The thing is.
(07:40):
Whatever The thing is, I'm goingto quit drinking.
I'm going to quit smoking. If that's your thing.
What? I'm going to stop partying, I'm
going to start going to church, whatever that thing is.
That moves you in to the highestversion of yourself that you are
choosing for yourself. That decision is going to create
a great big falling away of things of the past and people of
(08:03):
the past, okay. And it's going to make them very
uncomfortable. You're just not going to align
and and that and there's a sadness to that you guys, and
it's okay. That's normal.
It's worth it. PS PSPSI love you.
It is absolutely worth it. Trust me when I tell you.
But it is, it is sad. It doesn't mean you don't love
(08:24):
those individuals. It doesn't mean you don't miss
having a good time and, you know, getting drunk and all the
things you could always reminisce and look back and go
like, Oh my God, that was such acrazy time.
And like, you have those memories.
It's fine. You have them.
You can revisit them whenever you want.
You don't have to go pick up thebottle again.
You don't have to go clubbing, if that's even a thing anymore
until 4:00 in the morning. Like, you don't, you don't got
to go do all those things, OK? You have a memory bank.
(08:46):
But other than that, it's OK to feel sad after making the right
decision for you and your family, OK.
And for your business for that matter #3 it will be OK, but it
will be different. Gosh #3 does go with #2 and #1
it's almost like we're going into stages of things.
But it will be OK, but it will be different.
(09:06):
And I am here to tell you, you know, you guys know what I've
been through. I've been through major
tragedies. I've been through ups and downs,
peaks and valleys and the most horrific of horrific nightmares
made reality and then also dreams made reality.
And I've had just a Ying and Yang of things, OK.
And I am absolutely, positively different.
And in a previous episode, I said that, I mean, I, it's a
(09:28):
whole episode dedicated to I'm different now.
So what? Like you're different now, So
what? It will be different, your life
will be different and, and maybeyou were the life of the party
of socialite. Maybe you were all the things
when you were married. Now you're divorced and life
seems seems a little dull, like it's not as crazy or chaotic or
whatever glamorous or whatever the case may be.
But but you have peace. But you have peace and people
(09:50):
don't understand how you're OK just being at home and your
sweats and just like, you know, playing music and dancing around
your kitchen and just making cupcakes or whatever it is that
brings you joy and being OK withthat, It's OK.
Another example I'll give you, Inever used to even come
downstairs out of my room without makeup on, hair done,
you know, nails, high heels and everything, always to the nines
(10:13):
before I even left my room there.
I have very few memories of me hanging out in my pajamas like
in my living room just because Iwas always ready to go and I
cooked and cleaned and worked and mommied and wifed and did
all that entertaining everythinglooking like that now.
OK, I am, I am good. Meaning like I will wake up and
obviously get ready, Meaning my version of getting ready now is
(10:36):
just like make sure my face is clean, take a shower, make my
bed, you know, pray, do whateverbrush my teeth come down and I
don't always have makeup on and I will still go to Starbucks or
target or, you know, whatever the case may be.
And and that's, and it feels very different in like a
powerful calming, very like I'm giving myself permission to just
(10:58):
exist, not to hold any standard kind of way.
It's really interesting. OK, Number four, people fall in
love with other people's leaves,not their roots.
So they don't know what to do when autumn comes.
My goodness, this happens in relationships.
This happens in business when you're starting a business and
(11:20):
you hire people for certain reasons, maybe who they're
connected to you, you, you take on an opportunity because you
know, they seem well connected. Or you take on an opportunity
personal, professional, romanticbecause of you know, maybe
because they're successful and you want proximity, maybe
because they seem smart and you want to pick their brain.
Whatever that thing that draws you, chances are you're just
(11:41):
infatuated with their leaves. But then over time you start to
realize, no, they're, they have some deep roots and, and those
roots might make you uncomfortable or, and for good
reasons and bad reasons, you know, you have good roots that
make other people uncomfortable who are in your life for the
wrong reasons. And then you have, you might be
a good person and then you look at them and their roots are just
(12:03):
bad. Like, you know it, it swings
either way. But I love that quote #5 only
when it is dark can you see the stars.
This was, this became one of my favorite ones recently.
Because in the darkness and darkis metaphorical in the way that
I'm using it. We all go through those valleys
(12:24):
and we all experience life. Theo Von is so funny.
He says, you know, just when youthink like you've had enough of
life, boom, more life, you know,and he's not saying it in the
context of like, yeah, I woke uptoday.
Wonderful. No, it's like the punches of
life, you know. So when you are in those dark
places, as I've talked about, I,I look up, there's only one way
(12:50):
to look. There's only one way to survive
the darkness for me, and that's to focus on the one glimmering
beam of light. And to me, it's God.
And and it's my faith. And I talk about it a lot with
you got with you girls, but it is find your light.
Find that thing because yes, it's only in the darkness that
(13:10):
you can see the stars. And when you're in that dark
place, that lonely place that maybe you're financially
struggling, maybe you're struggling with health and
well-being. Maybe you're going through a
divorce. Maybe you've lost a loved one.
Maybe your child is going through something really
challenging and difficult or someone that you love is on
drugs. There's so many, so, so many
(13:31):
challenges in life, but you haveto just sit in it and be in it
and wreck and and really challenge yourself to find the
lessons, the fruits, the glimmerof hope, the silver lining in
that. OK, number six, if not now,
(13:51):
when? This is it.
This is, I know everybody says, oh, there no, tomorrow's not
guaranteed or it's not promised and and it's so true, but
sitting there and and telling yourself, when I have money, I'm
going to travel. When I get thin, I'll get into a
relationship. OK.
(14:11):
Those types of narratives that you're telling yourself are
wasting your time. They are absolutely positively.
I, I see them as sort of like tools of the enemy or whatever
you want to call it, like they are blockades.
They are blockades. So the second your inner voice
tells you, oh, if I just lose another 30 lbs, then I can go
(14:32):
and go to the beach and no, go to the beach now go to the
beach. I don't care what you wear, go
to the beach. Now you want to go sit by the
ocean, Go sit by the ocean. You want to go see Hawaii, go
hop on a flight. I actually personally have not
been to Hawaii. I think because I live in in
Southern California, there's a lot of very beautiful beaches.
And I've been to obviously beaches in Mexico and, and, you
know, Florida and Jamaica and all around the world and stuff
(14:54):
like that in different places ofthe world.
But I just, I don't know, I justhaven't been.
And everybody says it's so amazing.
But I'm saying if you have a longing to go somewhere and see
something and do something, go do it.
Even if you're doing it on one type of budget right now.
And then you go and you plan andto save and to go, next time I
come, I'm going to do it this way.
You know, when I went to Monaco the first time, I was walking
(15:19):
around with two strangers, thesetwins from they're like Israeli
twins and walking around that area.
And I wanted to go to the CasinoRoyale.
And I looked down and realized Iwas wearing like deck shoes
because they were having like a yacht show and I was wearing
like these deck shoes, sneaker things.
And I just knew I do want, I am in Monaco and I do want to go to
(15:40):
Casino Royale, but not it'll be,it'll be next time.
And that's, and you could argue,well, Rachel, if not now, then
when? But I'm like determined to go
back. So it's not like I'm just
letting it. No, no, no, I'm like determined
to go back and get dressed up and do the whole black tie
thing. But but, but think about that.
If not now, then when I went to Monaco, Like you want to go to
(16:00):
Monaco, Go to Monaco, like find the discounts, make it happen.
OK, Start the business, eat the cake, go go get those dance
lessons #7 the best revenge is no revenge.
I am the queen of this absolute queen of no reaction.
(16:21):
As a reaction. No statement is a loud
statement, OK? No, revenge is revenge like it
is. It is the best.
I mean, people say, oh, success is the best revenge.
That's true. OK.
But I don't believe in being motivated to succeed out of
spite. And that's because I'm a
Christian. So that's a very non Christian
(16:42):
way to approach the moves that you're making.
If you are operating from a place of I'm going to do this
because I'm going to show them, girl, go dip yourself in some
water. Go touch grass because that is
not that is not it. OK, but yes, the best revenge is
no revenge. You don't need to the second it
(17:03):
is revealed to you that they've done something to you.
First and foremost, you need to really ask yourself if you were
the villain in that situation because sometimes you feel
resentful for someone saying thank you, but no thanks and
cutting you out. And you sit there in your
bitterness and you harbor and you ruminate all of these sort
of resentments. And the reality is look in the
(17:23):
mirror and ask yourself how you contributed to the situation,
how you got here. How, how did all this happen?
And like, not just what the other person is not in a
defensive state, in a true stateof like, how did I get here?
OK. And what?
And take ownership of your part of it.
And then when that happens, you usually have this like, sense of
peace and acceptance for the situation, and you can identify
(17:44):
ways that it could have been worse.
And you learn a lesson that can next time make it better.
And so there's no need for energy.
Just just learn from whatever that is.
And that's it. Don't, don't focus more things.
Revenge is like, what do they say?
Oh my God, I can't think of her name right now.
Oh, Joyce Meyer said something brilliant years ago, like 20
years ago, 15 years ago. She said she's like resentment.
(18:07):
And I'm going to tie it to revenge.
But she said resentment is like drinking poison and expecting
the other person to die. Revenge is similar.
I say revenge is like, Oh, you there's like a little piece of
poo like your, let's just say your baby like, but the little
piece of poo right there. And it's like, you're like, Oh
my God, who put this here? Imagine smear.
Now you get it and you smear it just everywhere.
Like, look at this. Look, you don't see it.
(18:28):
Look, you don't smell it. Look like that's what that is.
That's that revenge is just messy, man.
And it's just such it's not worth your energy and and it
makes a bigger mess. And by the way that you have to
clean up, OK, you're going to gobreak glass in your own kitchen
'cause you're pissed off. Well, that's you're, you're just
like making more work for yourself.
It's not worth it. OK #8 The price of
(18:51):
procrastination is the life you could have lived.
The price of procrastination is a life you could have lived.
A lot of people have an idea of starting a business of living
some sort of life, giving back somehow, starting a charity,
writing a book, starting a podcast, you know, YouTube
channel, makeup line, clothing line, cooking recipes, cookbook.
(19:17):
Like people have dreams, goals, aspirations, they have a
purpose, they have passions, they have all these things and
and a lot of it is muted, right?A lot of us, it is sort of
medicated through our distractions are scrolling our
lifestyle, you know, commuter lifestyle, going to work,
repetition, sitting on the couch, like a lot of it is just
(19:39):
sort of numbed by all that stuff.
And and so it doesn't flourish and grow.
But I will tell you that if you can just sit and imagine
yourself at 80 years old being an old person and having your
great grandchild come up to you and say, Grandma, if you could
have done anything different in your one life, what would you
(19:59):
have done? That's the answer.
That's it. That's all you have to do.
Just ask yourself that. Just just ask yourself that.
Or you could even do it the other way.
We did a journal that's for thatwas for sale.
I think it's still for sale, butthat you could buy through US
over here at Sheeteo and everything that was the Dear Me
journal. And it's like asking like from
your. It's like writing letters to
your younger self. And you know, I'm approaching 50
(20:23):
and to be able to just sit thereand write a letter to my 15 year
old self, I mean, it just, it's such a healing thing and it's
such a beautiful thing. But it really reveals the areas
of your life where you have beenstagnant, the other blocks in
your life. It reveals the hidden sort of
blocks and the BS narratives that we tell ourselves that have
rerouted us all these years. And if you woke up today and
(20:46):
you're able to listen to my voice through this podcast, it
means that you still have a chance.
It means you still have a purpose.
It means that there's still a plan that you can formulate and
execute. And, and remembering that Warren
Buffett made his first million at at 50, you know, Oprah didn't
become Oprah until she was much later in life.
And Martha Stewart, I mean, you can see those stories.
(21:07):
I mean, there, there's just countless of them.
Kentucky Fried Chicken, I mean, there's so, so many stories.
So you still have, let's just say you're 50 years old
listening to this. You're probably, according to
the analytic semi thing, you're probably around between 35 and
45. But either way, let's just say
you're in your 40s and you're like, OK, well, my kids about to
graduate high school. I'm just not really sure.
You know, I'm married. We're probably going to travel.
(21:28):
Like I don't really know what I want to do.
I mean, you can literally reinvent yourself.
You can literally, if you've been a teacher for 25 years, you
can be literally be like, OK, I'm done with that.
And now I'm ready to become a hairstylist.
Now I'm ready to become a book author and now I'm ready to
start a YouTube channel teachingwomen how they can XYZ, OK.
You can have many lives, many lives and life experiences
(21:53):
within your one life. It's it's multifaceted, it's
meant to be, it's like an accordion, OK, It's layers
chapters in a book. OK.
So just remember that part of it, OK #9 If it's the right
person, there is no wrong time. This one created a little
flutter in my heart. I'm not going to reveal too much
(22:14):
why as to why, but if it's the right person, there is no wrong
time. And I heard a man on social
media say something so bold, so simple, yet so bold.
And he must have been in his mid50s.
I would argue he's probably like50-5 ish.
(22:36):
I mean, you know, he looked good.
He was in shape and stuff like that.
And somebody, one of those on the street interviews came up to
him and said, oh, you know, tellme, you know, have you ever met
the love of your life or something like that?
And he said, I married her. And the guy was like, oh, you
did. And he said, yeah, not right
away. He said I was married.
He said I was married, that he met her because when did you
(23:00):
meet her or something? He said I met her 20 years ago
but I couldn't be with her because I was married.
And the comment section obviously was going just
absolutely freaking nuts. And he said he was married for a
long time after he met her and then ended up divorced and then
circled back to her, found her, I don't know what happened.
And then they're married and he could not be happier.
(23:22):
And so often there's, you know, women that they meet someone and
maybe that's the situation. Maybe maybe you're listening to
this and you're married and you're thinking about this other
person and you think you're married in a whole ass marriage
and you are thinking that your soul mate is this other guy
that's probably married. No, that's, that's convoluted.
OK, it's a bit twisted. You made your bed, lie in it, so
(23:44):
to speak and see the thing out. Honestly, that's that's what I
think. Like, if you're not being beat
and you're not being cheated on and abuse in some way, then then
you know what I mean? Like marriage is meant to you
got tough it out. You got to see it out.
It's a journey, right? But if for whatever reason, you
find out that like your husband cheated and there's abuse and
all of a sudden your marriage ends and you file for divorce
(24:04):
and you're a single woman and, and and then all of a sudden
that that man that you met before, you know, circles back
around and now he's divorced or whatever, you know what, that's
serendipity. That's destiny, You know, that's
and then you end up married. I met I met an old man on a
bench and I and I could dedicatea whole story.
(24:26):
I think I don't know if I did the season 1, but I met an old
man who sat next to me on a bench.
And it sounds like a fairy tale,like a Riddle, but I'm telling
you the truth. And he told me almost an
identical story that he was married.
He married this woman and he loved her.
But you know, he's like, on Valentine's Day was like, oh
God, I got to leave work and I got to get the flowers and I got
(24:46):
to make plans or just, it was like this.
I, I better or else, you know. And he was married to her for a
long time and they raised their kids and all this kind of stuff.
And then anyways, they ended up divorced and he ended up going
to like his some high school reunion again.
He's an old man. He ended up going to some high
school reunion and he went to the reunion and lo and behold,
he meets this woman who was a girl that he had the biggest
(25:09):
crush on back in high school or whatever the case may be.
And they, you know, started talking and she was a widower at
that time. And they started talking and
everything. And next thing you know, Fast
forward, they're married by the time I met him.
And he said that he's never had the feeling of like I better or
else. He said when it comes to
Valentine's, her birthday, anniversaries and things like
(25:30):
special occasions, he said he cannot pass a person on the road
selling flowers without thinkingof her and finding a way to pull
over and buy those flowers for her.
OK, let that sink in for a moment.
When I tell you I was married atthe time, it was a it was a
horrendous point in my marriage where I knew the end was
(25:50):
eminent. I didn't know when I didn't know
that it was near or far or I just knew it was inevitable.
And I was sitting there and I don't know till this day, I'm
like, was he an Angel? I don't know who he was.
And I heard that and I just knew.
And I just knew that I didn't have to worry about looking for
(26:11):
that person. I knew.
I knew because he didn't go looking and that Lady didn't go
looking. It just happened.
They just found each other. And love is not something that
you find, it finds you. And I am of that belief.
And, and I also am at the same time, very, very, extremely
single at the time of this recording.
(26:32):
And I'm also at peace with that because I'm, I'm grateful that I
had the opportunity to be someone's wife.
It may have not been the perfectsomeone's wife, but I had the
opportunity to be someone's wifeand I had the opportunity to be
a mother and have that experience.
And a lot of women, I respect the and understand the fact that
they didn't have the opportunityand, and they, or they did, but
that they chose not to or, but there's a lot of women that they
(26:55):
just for whatever reason that that didn't get proposed to,
Nobody saw them as wife materialfor whatever reason, OK, and
didn't become others. And I understand that there is
aching hearts throughout, throughout the world, even
though they don't they, you know, the grass always seems
greener, right? And so all that to say, you
don't got to chase anybody or anything.
You just don't, you just don't, you just don't #10 the potential
(27:19):
you see in other people actuallyisn't there.
It's just what you would do in their shoes and that is it.
There's so many women that fall in love with a man because of
his potential, but that man doesn't actually have that.
It's you. It's what you would do in their
shoes. And then what ends up happening
(27:39):
is you might, you might give in to that feeling.
You might end up with them and you might get in.
You might be tempted to fill thehis gaps and then all the sudden
you're stepping in to his role and all the sudden you're
stepping into his light. And all the sudden you're
stepping in to his purpose. And all the sudden you're like,
(28:00):
look what we're doing. And then all the sudden he feels
like it's no longer his. And so any wins that you achieve
on his behalf, so to speak, or any wins that he achieves
because of you are dimmed. He can't own them.
There's no sense of ownership. Men need a sense of purpose.
(28:24):
They need, they need to feel useful and they need to feel
triumphant and successful in their own right.
And if you step in like the nurturer and the badass solver
that you are, you are a thief. You are a thief in his, in his
eyes. He just doesn't really
(28:44):
understand that that's what it is.
OK, Let him win. Let him fail.
And then be there to make him a sandwich.
That's it. Be there to cheer him on when he
wins. Be there to make him a sandwich
or a cup of coffee or, you know,a warm something or rather, OK
sexy time when he's feeling down.
(29:05):
That's it. That's that's what it means to
be the great woman behind the great man.
That's what it means. That's what it looks like.
And it took me years of marriageand failing at that in my own,
in my own regard, and several podcast episodes of my friend
Dalia to just come to the conclusion of like, we need to
(29:26):
get out of the down way, OK. And all that energy that we have
and all those ideas and all thatinspiration that we have because
we're like, Oh my gosh, like, like he has all the potential if
he just did this. And he just said if he just did
this and if he did it this way, if he did it that way, if he
spoke like this and dressed likethis and move like this and talk
like this and and and went thereand charged this and did all of
(29:48):
that are indications of what you're supposed to be doing for
yourself and your purpose and your vision and your promise and
your blessings and your talents and your skills and your gifts.
That's it my dear. Enjoy.
Welcome to another episode of the Rachel Unpacked podcast.
I am your host Rachel Medina andin every episode we talk about
mindset, wealth, building and faith for every girlie who is
looking to change and level up her life.
If you want to follow me on social media, you can do so at
Rachel Medina 101 or visit my website rachelmedina.com.
But if you are ready to build a business in a life that you
(00:23):
love, head on over to our new she eox.com site again, She EO
dot com where you are going to find a tribe of like minded
business building, dream aspiring girlies just like you
connecting, learning and growingtogether.
And a new CEO X partnership program means we attract the
(00:43):
talented, experienced and successful women who are ready
to teach you how they did it so that you can succeed too.
Let's go. Who's ready to change the
chemistry of their brain in 10 easy steps?
Basically, I heard these 10 quotes and I was like, I could
(01:04):
do a podcast episode on every single one of them, but I am
just going to pack them into this one episode to give you
that super powered ultimate shotof brain power until it changes
the chemistry of your brain. Because this is this is.
Let's just get into it #1 don't chase people who know exactly
(01:26):
where to find you, ladies, OK? No caption needed.
Don't chase people who know exactly where to find you.
Don't do that. And that doesn't mean, here's
the thing, that doesn't mean if you miss someone, right?
Like miss, like, OK, Like, oh, Imiss, you know, my cousin, but I
(01:47):
haven't heard from them in a while.
Like there's nothing wrong with just sending a little message.
Hey, thinking about you just hope that everything's well,
that you're doing good, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
That's OK because you know what that is?
That's like spreading kindness in the world.
That's like spreading joy in theworld.
And that's being very authentic to yourself.
Chasing is like, they all got together and didn't invite you.
(02:09):
Don't be like, wow, thanks for the invite.
And the next thing you know, they are like eye rolling going,
oh, we got to invite so and so because you already know she's
going to start talking shit or whatever.
No, that's chasing OK. Don't don't do any of that.
You don't got to do that. Let people be Mel Robbins, let
(02:30):
people be and let people show you where you stand in their
life and then accept it and it'sOK.
And and, and by the way, I know I was like, no caption needed.
And then I just went off for 5 minutes.
But by the way, there is a cliche saying that says life,
life's rejection. It's God's protection.
If you were praying girlie, and you're asking for protection,
(02:51):
you're asking God, you know, to bring good into your life and to
remove all the bad things and this and this and that.
And all the sudden you stop getting invited places.
All the sudden the guy that you're seeing isn't that
interested in you anymore. Like all the sudden you lose
your job. I mean, that sounds extreme, but
I mean, I'm, I'm telling you, all the sudden that social group
or those partners in business orclients or whatever, all of a
(03:14):
sudden you start losing this left, right and center.
Well, you know what it's, it's aprotection.
It's a prayer answered, right? Because God knows what they're
saying when you're not in the room.
He heard things you didn't hear.He saw things you didn't see.
Be grateful. Don't chase people who know
exactly where to find you. Got it #2 It's OK to feel sad
(03:39):
after making the right decision.And I'm glad that that's number
two after #1 because when you decide to live according to a
certain standard in your life, acertain standard of being, it
brings you so much peace. But at first, it's
uncomfortable. It's very uncomfortable.
And an example of this is if youwere in a marriage.
(04:03):
And you know, I did that podcastwith my friend Dalia, and it was
a lot of fun and we talked abouta lot of these things.
So you can go check that out if if you want to sort of catch up
on that. But one of the things that I was
very, very adamant about in regards to relationships and
marriage specifically is pay attention to what is being drawn
out of you. Are you becoming a nag?
(04:25):
Are you becoming his mom, right?Are you all of these things
right? And so are you solving problems
for him instead of like giving him the time and space to just
figure it out? And, and what that looks like is
to be able to say, yeah, I decide that that's not the
(04:48):
energy state that I want to exist in.
I want to exist in an energy state that is calm, that is
cool, that is collected, that ischarming, loving, girly, silly,
fun, peaceful, loving, whatever that state is.
(05:08):
That does not include nagging like raising your voice,
screeching, like sighing, like eye rolls, like all of that.
OK? And the reason it's OK to feel
sad after making the right decision is because in a
relationship situation, when youdecide, OK, I'm just going to
let the chips fall where they may.
(05:28):
I'm just going to let him leave the toilet seat up.
I'm just going to walk in and like, put it down because it's
not worth the fight or he doesn't want to take the trash
out. I'm just going to let it stink.
And then one day he's going to come home and be like, God, Lee,
why does it stink in here? And you're going to just go?
I mean, I don't know. And then you could slowly gaze
(05:52):
over towards the kitchen trash. Is the decision to reside in
your calm, blissful place a painful decision in that
scenario? That's painful because you're
like, Rachel, I don't want my house to stink.
Nobody does. But guess what?
It's the only way. It's the only way.
(06:13):
Otherwise, you're going to either be one of two things.
You're going to be screeching and yelling and being the nag
and the and the mom energy that you don't want to be to your
husband and your partner, OK? Because you didn't subscribe to
that. You didn't sign up to that when
you said I do. Or two, you're going to be that
woman who's like a man saying I'll just do it myself.
I'll just do everything myself. I'll just do it myself.
And then three, you're just going to be like harboring all
(06:35):
those resentments, OK? You choose one, you choose two.
You're going to end up with three resentment.
OK, there's no plot twist there.That's just what it is.
OK, so when you choose to acceptfor the example, to live in a
relationship that doesn't have lies, to have friendships that
don't have jealousy, that don't have betrayal.
(06:56):
When you choose to surround yourself with family that
doesn't gossip, OK, Be around females who aren't freaking
giving your man the eye. When you make these decisions,
you lose people. People fall away When you begin
(07:19):
to hold a higher standard for your life.
People fall away. When you begin to choose a
better version of yourself to say I'm going to start working
out now. You know what, I'm going to
build a business and I'm going to start making money.
Or you know what? I'm going to start travelling or
I'm going to start whatever The thing is.
(07:40):
Whatever The thing is, I'm goingto quit drinking.
I'm going to quit smoking. If that's your thing.
What? I'm going to stop partying, I'm
going to start going to church, whatever that thing is.
That moves you in to the highestversion of yourself that you are
choosing for yourself. That decision is going to create
a great big falling away of things of the past and people of
(08:03):
the past, okay. And it's going to make them very
uncomfortable. You're just not going to align
and and that and there's a sadness to that you guys, and
it's okay. That's normal.
It's worth it. PS PSPSI love you.
It is absolutely worth it. Trust me when I tell you.
But it is, it is sad. It doesn't mean you don't love
(08:24):
those individuals. It doesn't mean you don't miss
having a good time and, you know, getting drunk and all the
things you could always reminisce and look back and go
like, Oh my God, that was such acrazy time.
And like, you have those memories.
It's fine. You have them.
You can revisit them whenever you want.
You don't have to go pick up thebottle again.
You don't have to go clubbing, if that's even a thing anymore
until 4:00 in the morning. Like, you don't, you don't got
to go do all those things, OK? You have a memory bank.
(08:46):
But other than that, it's OK to feel sad after making the right
decision for you and your family, OK.
And for your business for that matter #3 it will be OK, but it
will be different. Gosh #3 does go with #2 and #1
it's almost like we're going into stages of things.
But it will be OK, but it will be different.
(09:06):
And I am here to tell you, you know, you guys know what I've
been through. I've been through major
tragedies. I've been through ups and downs,
peaks and valleys and the most horrific of horrific nightmares
made reality and then also dreams made reality.
And I've had just a Ying and Yang of things, OK.
And I am absolutely, positively different.
And in a previous episode, I said that, I mean, I, it's a
(09:28):
whole episode dedicated to I'm different now.
So what? Like you're different now, So
what? It will be different, your life
will be different and, and maybeyou were the life of the party
of socialite. Maybe you were all the things
when you were married. Now you're divorced and life
seems seems a little dull, like it's not as crazy or chaotic or
whatever glamorous or whatever the case may be.
But but you have peace. But you have peace and people
(09:50):
don't understand how you're OK just being at home and your
sweats and just like, you know, playing music and dancing around
your kitchen and just making cupcakes or whatever it is that
brings you joy and being OK withthat, It's OK.
Another example I'll give you, Inever used to even come
downstairs out of my room without makeup on, hair done,
you know, nails, high heels and everything, always to the nines
(10:13):
before I even left my room there.
I have very few memories of me hanging out in my pajamas like
in my living room just because Iwas always ready to go and I
cooked and cleaned and worked and mommied and wifed and did
all that entertaining everythinglooking like that now.
OK, I am, I am good. Meaning like I will wake up and
obviously get ready, Meaning my version of getting ready now is
(10:36):
just like make sure my face is clean, take a shower, make my
bed, you know, pray, do whateverbrush my teeth come down and I
don't always have makeup on and I will still go to Starbucks or
target or, you know, whatever the case may be.
And and that's, and it feels very different in like a
powerful calming, very like I'm giving myself permission to just
(10:58):
exist, not to hold any standard kind of way.
It's really interesting. OK, Number four, people fall in
love with other people's leaves,not their roots.
So they don't know what to do when autumn comes.
My goodness, this happens in relationships.
This happens in business when you're starting a business and
(11:20):
you hire people for certain reasons, maybe who they're
connected to you, you, you take on an opportunity because you
know, they seem well connected. Or you take on an opportunity
personal, professional, romanticbecause of you know, maybe
because they're successful and you want proximity, maybe
because they seem smart and you want to pick their brain.
Whatever that thing that draws you, chances are you're just
(11:41):
infatuated with their leaves. But then over time you start to
realize, no, they're, they have some deep roots and, and those
roots might make you uncomfortable or, and for good
reasons and bad reasons, you know, you have good roots that
make other people uncomfortable who are in your life for the
wrong reasons. And then you have, you might be
a good person and then you look at them and their roots are just
(12:03):
bad. Like, you know it, it swings
either way. But I love that quote #5 only
when it is dark can you see the stars.
This was, this became one of my favorite ones recently.
Because in the darkness and darkis metaphorical in the way that
I'm using it. We all go through those valleys
(12:24):
and we all experience life. Theo Von is so funny.
He says, you know, just when youthink like you've had enough of
life, boom, more life, you know,and he's not saying it in the
context of like, yeah, I woke uptoday.
Wonderful. No, it's like the punches of
life, you know. So when you are in those dark
places, as I've talked about, I,I look up, there's only one way
(12:50):
to look. There's only one way to survive
the darkness for me, and that's to focus on the one glimmering
beam of light. And to me, it's God.
And and it's my faith. And I talk about it a lot with
you got with you girls, but it is find your light.
Find that thing because yes, it's only in the darkness that
(13:10):
you can see the stars. And when you're in that dark
place, that lonely place that maybe you're financially
struggling, maybe you're struggling with health and
well-being. Maybe you're going through a
divorce. Maybe you've lost a loved one.
Maybe your child is going through something really
challenging and difficult or someone that you love is on
drugs. There's so many, so, so many
(13:31):
challenges in life, but you haveto just sit in it and be in it
and wreck and and really challenge yourself to find the
lessons, the fruits, the glimmerof hope, the silver lining in
that. OK, number six, if not now,
(13:51):
when? This is it.
This is, I know everybody says, oh, there no, tomorrow's not
guaranteed or it's not promised and and it's so true, but
sitting there and and telling yourself, when I have money, I'm
going to travel. When I get thin, I'll get into a
relationship. OK.
(14:11):
Those types of narratives that you're telling yourself are
wasting your time. They are absolutely positively.
I, I see them as sort of like tools of the enemy or whatever
you want to call it, like they are blockades.
They are blockades. So the second your inner voice
tells you, oh, if I just lose another 30 lbs, then I can go
(14:32):
and go to the beach and no, go to the beach now go to the
beach. I don't care what you wear, go
to the beach. Now you want to go sit by the
ocean, Go sit by the ocean. You want to go see Hawaii, go
hop on a flight. I actually personally have not
been to Hawaii. I think because I live in in
Southern California, there's a lot of very beautiful beaches.
And I've been to obviously beaches in Mexico and, and, you
know, Florida and Jamaica and all around the world and stuff
(14:54):
like that in different places ofthe world.
But I just, I don't know, I justhaven't been.
And everybody says it's so amazing.
But I'm saying if you have a longing to go somewhere and see
something and do something, go do it.
Even if you're doing it on one type of budget right now.
And then you go and you plan andto save and to go, next time I
come, I'm going to do it this way.
You know, when I went to Monaco the first time, I was walking
(15:19):
around with two strangers, thesetwins from they're like Israeli
twins and walking around that area.
And I wanted to go to the CasinoRoyale.
And I looked down and realized Iwas wearing like deck shoes
because they were having like a yacht show and I was wearing
like these deck shoes, sneaker things.
And I just knew I do want, I am in Monaco and I do want to go to
(15:40):
Casino Royale, but not it'll be,it'll be next time.
And that's, and you could argue,well, Rachel, if not now, then
when? But I'm like determined to go
back. So it's not like I'm just
letting it. No, no, no, I'm like determined
to go back and get dressed up and do the whole black tie
thing. But but, but think about that.
If not now, then when I went to Monaco, Like you want to go to
(16:00):
Monaco, Go to Monaco, like find the discounts, make it happen.
OK, Start the business, eat the cake, go go get those dance
lessons #7 the best revenge is no revenge.
I am the queen of this absolute queen of no reaction.
(16:21):
As a reaction. No statement is a loud
statement, OK? No, revenge is revenge like it
is. It is the best.
I mean, people say, oh, success is the best revenge.
That's true. OK.
But I don't believe in being motivated to succeed out of
spite. And that's because I'm a
Christian. So that's a very non Christian
(16:42):
way to approach the moves that you're making.
If you are operating from a place of I'm going to do this
because I'm going to show them, girl, go dip yourself in some
water. Go touch grass because that is
not that is not it. OK, but yes, the best revenge is
no revenge. You don't need to the second it
(17:03):
is revealed to you that they've done something to you.
First and foremost, you need to really ask yourself if you were
the villain in that situation because sometimes you feel
resentful for someone saying thank you, but no thanks and
cutting you out. And you sit there in your
bitterness and you harbor and you ruminate all of these sort
of resentments. And the reality is look in the
(17:23):
mirror and ask yourself how you contributed to the situation,
how you got here. How, how did all this happen?
And like, not just what the other person is not in a
defensive state, in a true stateof like, how did I get here?
OK. And what?
And take ownership of your part of it.
And then when that happens, you usually have this like, sense of
peace and acceptance for the situation, and you can identify
(17:44):
ways that it could have been worse.
And you learn a lesson that can next time make it better.
And so there's no need for energy.
Just just learn from whatever that is.
And that's it. Don't, don't focus more things.
Revenge is like, what do they say?
Oh my God, I can't think of her name right now.
Oh, Joyce Meyer said something brilliant years ago, like 20
years ago, 15 years ago. She said she's like resentment.
(18:07):
And I'm going to tie it to revenge.
But she said resentment is like drinking poison and expecting
the other person to die. Revenge is similar.
I say revenge is like, Oh, you there's like a little piece of
poo like your, let's just say your baby like, but the little
piece of poo right there. And it's like, you're like, Oh
my God, who put this here? Imagine smear.
Now you get it and you smear it just everywhere.
Like, look at this. Look, you don't see it.
(18:28):
Look, you don't smell it. Look like that's what that is.
That's that revenge is just messy, man.
And it's just such it's not worth your energy and and it
makes a bigger mess. And by the way that you have to
clean up, OK, you're going to gobreak glass in your own kitchen
'cause you're pissed off. Well, that's you're, you're just
like making more work for yourself.
It's not worth it. OK #8 The price of
(18:51):
procrastination is the life you could have lived.
The price of procrastination is a life you could have lived.
A lot of people have an idea of starting a business of living
some sort of life, giving back somehow, starting a charity,
writing a book, starting a podcast, you know, YouTube
channel, makeup line, clothing line, cooking recipes, cookbook.
(19:17):
Like people have dreams, goals, aspirations, they have a
purpose, they have passions, they have all these things and
and a lot of it is muted, right?A lot of us, it is sort of
medicated through our distractions are scrolling our
lifestyle, you know, commuter lifestyle, going to work,
repetition, sitting on the couch, like a lot of it is just
(19:39):
sort of numbed by all that stuff.
And and so it doesn't flourish and grow.
But I will tell you that if you can just sit and imagine
yourself at 80 years old being an old person and having your
great grandchild come up to you and say, Grandma, if you could
have done anything different in your one life, what would you
(19:59):
have done? That's the answer.
That's it. That's all you have to do.
Just ask yourself that. Just just ask yourself that.
Or you could even do it the other way.
We did a journal that's for thatwas for sale.
I think it's still for sale, butthat you could buy through US
over here at Sheeteo and everything that was the Dear Me
journal. And it's like asking like from
your. It's like writing letters to
your younger self. And you know, I'm approaching 50
(20:23):
and to be able to just sit thereand write a letter to my 15 year
old self, I mean, it just, it's such a healing thing and it's
such a beautiful thing. But it really reveals the areas
of your life where you have beenstagnant, the other blocks in
your life. It reveals the hidden sort of
blocks and the BS narratives that we tell ourselves that have
rerouted us all these years. And if you woke up today and
(20:46):
you're able to listen to my voice through this podcast, it
means that you still have a chance.
It means you still have a purpose.
It means that there's still a plan that you can formulate and
execute. And, and remembering that Warren
Buffett made his first million at at 50, you know, Oprah didn't
become Oprah until she was much later in life.
And Martha Stewart, I mean, you can see those stories.
(21:07):
I mean, there, there's just countless of them.
Kentucky Fried Chicken, I mean, there's so, so many stories.
So you still have, let's just say you're 50 years old
listening to this. You're probably, according to
the analytic semi thing, you're probably around between 35 and
45. But either way, let's just say
you're in your 40s and you're like, OK, well, my kids about to
graduate high school. I'm just not really sure.
You know, I'm married. We're probably going to travel.
(21:28):
Like I don't really know what I want to do.
I mean, you can literally reinvent yourself.
You can literally, if you've been a teacher for 25 years, you
can be literally be like, OK, I'm done with that.
And now I'm ready to become a hairstylist.
Now I'm ready to become a book author and now I'm ready to
start a YouTube channel teachingwomen how they can XYZ, OK.
You can have many lives, many lives and life experiences
(21:53):
within your one life. It's it's multifaceted, it's
meant to be, it's like an accordion, OK, It's layers
chapters in a book. OK.
So just remember that part of it, OK #9 If it's the right
person, there is no wrong time. This one created a little
flutter in my heart. I'm not going to reveal too much
(22:14):
why as to why, but if it's the right person, there is no wrong
time. And I heard a man on social
media say something so bold, so simple, yet so bold.
And he must have been in his mid50s.
I would argue he's probably like50-5 ish.
(22:36):
I mean, you know, he looked good.
He was in shape and stuff like that.
And somebody, one of those on the street interviews came up to
him and said, oh, you know, tellme, you know, have you ever met
the love of your life or something like that?
And he said, I married her. And the guy was like, oh, you
did. And he said, yeah, not right
away. He said I was married.
He said I was married, that he met her because when did you
(23:00):
meet her or something? He said I met her 20 years ago
but I couldn't be with her because I was married.
And the comment section obviously was going just
absolutely freaking nuts. And he said he was married for a
long time after he met her and then ended up divorced and then
circled back to her, found her, I don't know what happened.
And then they're married and he could not be happier.
(23:22):
And so often there's, you know, women that they meet someone and
maybe that's the situation. Maybe maybe you're listening to
this and you're married and you're thinking about this other
person and you think you're married in a whole ass marriage
and you are thinking that your soul mate is this other guy
that's probably married. No, that's, that's convoluted.
OK, it's a bit twisted. You made your bed, lie in it, so
(23:44):
to speak and see the thing out. Honestly, that's that's what I
think. Like, if you're not being beat
and you're not being cheated on and abuse in some way, then then
you know what I mean? Like marriage is meant to you
got tough it out. You got to see it out.
It's a journey, right? But if for whatever reason, you
find out that like your husband cheated and there's abuse and
all of a sudden your marriage ends and you file for divorce
(24:04):
and you're a single woman and, and and then all of a sudden
that that man that you met before, you know, circles back
around and now he's divorced or whatever, you know what, that's
serendipity. That's destiny, You know, that's
and then you end up married. I met I met an old man on a
bench and I and I could dedicatea whole story.
(24:26):
I think I don't know if I did the season 1, but I met an old
man who sat next to me on a bench.
And it sounds like a fairy tale,like a Riddle, but I'm telling
you the truth. And he told me almost an
identical story that he was married.
He married this woman and he loved her.
But you know, he's like, on Valentine's Day was like, oh
God, I got to leave work and I got to get the flowers and I got
(24:46):
to make plans or just, it was like this.
I, I better or else, you know. And he was married to her for a
long time and they raised their kids and all this kind of stuff.
And then anyways, they ended up divorced and he ended up going
to like his some high school reunion again.
He's an old man. He ended up going to some high
school reunion and he went to the reunion and lo and behold,
he meets this woman who was a girl that he had the biggest
(25:09):
crush on back in high school or whatever the case may be.
And they, you know, started talking and she was a widower at
that time. And they started talking and
everything. And next thing you know, Fast
forward, they're married by the time I met him.
And he said that he's never had the feeling of like I better or
else. He said when it comes to
Valentine's, her birthday, anniversaries and things like
(25:30):
special occasions, he said he cannot pass a person on the road
selling flowers without thinkingof her and finding a way to pull
over and buy those flowers for her.
OK, let that sink in for a moment.
When I tell you I was married atthe time, it was a it was a
horrendous point in my marriage where I knew the end was
(25:50):
eminent. I didn't know when I didn't know
that it was near or far or I just knew it was inevitable.
And I was sitting there and I don't know till this day, I'm
like, was he an Angel? I don't know who he was.
And I heard that and I just knew.
And I just knew that I didn't have to worry about looking for
(26:11):
that person. I knew.
I knew because he didn't go looking and that Lady didn't go
looking. It just happened.
They just found each other. And love is not something that
you find, it finds you. And I am of that belief.
And, and I also am at the same time, very, very, extremely
single at the time of this recording.
(26:32):
And I'm also at peace with that because I'm, I'm grateful that I
had the opportunity to be someone's wife.
It may have not been the perfectsomeone's wife, but I had the
opportunity to be someone's wifeand I had the opportunity to be
a mother and have that experience.
And a lot of women, I respect the and understand the fact that
they didn't have the opportunityand, and they, or they did, but
that they chose not to or, but there's a lot of women that they
(26:55):
just for whatever reason that that didn't get proposed to,
Nobody saw them as wife materialfor whatever reason, OK, and
didn't become others. And I understand that there is
aching hearts throughout, throughout the world, even
though they don't they, you know, the grass always seems
greener, right? And so all that to say, you
don't got to chase anybody or anything.
You just don't, you just don't, you just don't #10 the potential
(27:19):
you see in other people actuallyisn't there.
It's just what you would do in their shoes and that is it.
There's so many women that fall in love with a man because of
his potential, but that man doesn't actually have that.
It's you. It's what you would do in their
shoes. And then what ends up happening
(27:39):
is you might, you might give in to that feeling.
You might end up with them and you might get in.
You might be tempted to fill thehis gaps and then all the sudden
you're stepping in to his role and all the sudden you're
stepping into his light. And all the sudden you're
stepping in to his purpose. And all the sudden you're like,
(28:00):
look what we're doing. And then all the sudden he feels
like it's no longer his. And so any wins that you achieve
on his behalf, so to speak, or any wins that he achieves
because of you are dimmed. He can't own them.
There's no sense of ownership. Men need a sense of purpose.
(28:24):
They need, they need to feel useful and they need to feel
triumphant and successful in their own right.
And if you step in like the nurturer and the badass solver
that you are, you are a thief. You are a thief in his, in his
eyes. He just doesn't really
(28:44):
understand that that's what it is.
OK, Let him win. Let him fail.
And then be there to make him a sandwich.
That's it. Be there to cheer him on when he
wins. Be there to make him a sandwich
or a cup of coffee or, you know,a warm something or rather, OK
sexy time when he's feeling down.
(29:05):
That's it. That's that's what it means to
be the great woman behind the great man.
That's what it means. That's what it looks like.
And it took me years of marriageand failing at that in my own,
in my own regard, and several podcast episodes of my friend
Dalia to just come to the conclusion of like, we need to
(29:26):
get out of the down way, OK. And all that energy that we have
and all those ideas and all thatinspiration that we have because
we're like, Oh my gosh, like, like he has all the potential if
he just did this. And he just said if he just did
this and if he did it this way, if he did it that way, if he
spoke like this and dressed likethis and move like this and talk
like this and and and went thereand charged this and did all of
(29:48):
that are indications of what you're supposed to be doing for
yourself and your purpose and your vision and your promise and
your blessings and your talents and your skills and your gifts.
That's it my dear. Enjoy.
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