October 9, 2022 • 21 mins
October is World Mental Health Month and October 10 is World Mental Health Day. Today's guest is passionate about bringing the subject of mental health to the forefront because he has a loved one who suffers with mental health issues that have impacted the whole family.
If you or a loved one is in need of support, check out these resources: https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help
You are not alone. Dial 988 for immediate help.
For information on the book, The Renewal of the Mind, and other ministries, visit https://renewalofthemind.com
Guest Bio:
Jacob Bowker is with Story Ministry and in charge of ministry programs and development. Jacob has 20+ years of experience in media, marketing, business development, and launching start-ups.
He has a son who is in a mental health hospital, and through his journey with his son, he grew a heart for individuals dealing with drug addiction and mental health.
Jacob's favorite Bible verse: Romans 12:2 -
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Learn more about Radical Abundance at Radical-Abundance.com
Teresa Janzen is your host. She ignites a passion for abundant living through radical service. Teresa is an international speaker, author, and coach of speakers and writers. Her experience in leadership and global ministry drives her to share inspiring stories with wit and insight. Her candid and personable style is sure to capture the heart of any audience.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Welcome to Radical Abundance.
I'm your host, Teresa Janzen,and the month of October
is World Mental HealthMonth and October 10th is
World Mental Health Day.
Today's guest is passionateabout helping people be aware
of mental health issues andwhat that means in the family,
in society, and in the church.
(00:25):
Welcome, Jacob Balker.
It's great to have youon radical abundance.
My pleasure.
Thank you, Therea,for having us.
Definitely a pleasure.
I talk a lot about mental healthand how we could build awareness
for everybody out therefor their families and just
individuals struggling with it.
So just wanna talk a lotabout, and a little about
(00:46):
awareness of mental health.
Well, thankfully Jacob, welive in an era where mental
health doesn't have quitethe stigma that it has had
in the past, although it'sprobably still there, I'm sure.
And certainly no one wantsto have mental health
issues in their family.
Yet, I think most of us, ormaybe even I may go as far as to
(01:11):
say nearly all of us have beentouched in one way or another
with mental health challenges.
What is it that makes this suchan important issue for you?
For me personally, I have a22 year old son who is in a
mental health hospital, butI think that's part of the
(01:31):
extreme of mental health,which people start thinking.
Mental health hospitalsor different stuff going
on with individuals.
But what I wanna talk a littlebit about today is also just
the regular mental health, suchas stress, anxiety, depression,
and things that most of usdeal with on a regular basis.
That if we don't talk aboutit or we don't address it,
(01:52):
it becomes more of an issueor a bigger problem that
sometimes we can't control her.
Becomes a lot harder to.
.
Absolutely.
I think that oftentimes asChristians, we feel like we
shouldn't be having theseissues, and if it's a member
of our family, maybe we'reafraid of what other people
will think or something.
(02:14):
But you're right, that stressand anxiety, I think most
of us would readily admitthat impacts our lives.
And what some peoplearen't aware of is that.
Is cumulative.
And so you're right.
If you don't do something aboutit, if you don't address the
issue and just keep pushingon, it will come up to get
(02:36):
you in one way or another,eventually, oftentimes
as a more severe problem.
Why do you think thatas Christians, we have
still stigmatized this?
I think a lot of times asChristians, we don't like to
talk about things just because.
People think that we're supposedto have it together being a
(02:56):
Christian that we're saved.
So now we figured it all out.
I think being saved is thefirst part of it, but that's
just the beginning of takingthe steps of figuring it out.
The truth is I think all of usare struggling with something.
We just have to try to aexcept that we can't do it
alone, that we do need help.
Maybe not acceptwhat the problem.
(03:18):
Because we could be acceptingthe wrong thing, but
really that we need help.
We can't do it alone.
And that really throughChrist and through what God
has given us, his son andeverything he's done, I mean
that is freedom within him.
And mental health is a bondage.
So to break thatbondage, sometimes we
have to talk about it.
(03:39):
Not only so we have somesupport, but also we could
break free of that, and wehave other people that are
encouraging us and knowthat something's going on.
I know for me personally,my son was the one doing,
dealing with the like majormental health, but it brought
stress, anxiety, depression,like a million different
(04:03):
things upon our family.
Not only me and his mom,but the his brothers and.
And everybody else too.
It wasn't just himwho was affected.
So sometimes we think thatwe're strong enough and maybe
we don't need to talk about it.
I know men think that a lot.
Like we just don'ttalk about this stuff.
We bury it.
(04:23):
We're here to support.
We're not here to get support.
Women sometimes just dependingthe support system, they're
open to talk about somethings, but other things.
Are a little bit more personalor they don't want their
friends to judge them orwhatever the situation is.
Maybe.
I think a lot of times it'show we feel that people are
gonna portray our situationor portray us as a, being a
(04:47):
Christian like, Oh, I toldyou so, or look at them,
they're weak because of that.
But then at the sametime, I think it takes a
lot of courage to do it.
It takes a lot of courageto say, Hey, look,
something is wrong.
I don't feel right.
And I need to give some help.
You know, it's the samething with Anything that
we have to bring outthat does isn't perfect.
We want to look like we haveit all together, just like
(05:10):
you said, and we don't liketo confess our weaknesses, but
that is the absolute lie ofthe enemy because the Bible
tells us exactly that we shouldbe bringing our weaknesses
to one another and supportingone another in Christian Love.
That's I think, why it's soimportant to have something like
(05:30):
a World Mental Health Month.
Where we can spend some timetalking about it, bring it out
into the open, acknowledge thatit's there, and then we can deal
with some of those underlyingproblems because it can be vast,
like you said, your son is inan actual hospital setting.
(05:51):
That is the more extremeend of it, and it can be
caused by a lot of things.
Could be physiological, couldbe a result of some of the
choices we make, but either way,it's impacting the family and
we are not made to go throughanything alone, especially
something like mental health.
(06:13):
So what are some of theresources that are available to
people that maybe some of ourlisteners might not even know?
You know, I'd say the numberone resource we have at our
hands that most Christiansdon't use as much as we should,
I would say is the Bible.
I think filling ourselveswith the word on a daily, I
mean, just renewing our mindwith it on a hourly, daily,
(06:35):
as much as we can contain it.
I mean, absorb it.
I think we should, I thinkdefinitely the Bible, but
we also have YouTube anda lot of resources that
we use on a regular basis.
Outside of trying to helpour mental health, outside
of trying to just, you know,we just use it to watch TV or
just to waste time, but whatif we could use that same
(06:57):
network or that same platformto increase our mental health?
What if we could use it towatch a podcast like yours that
you put on that really helpstalk about Christians and talks
about faith and talks about howto build that compared to the
secular world where it's always.
something.
How much money you have, howfast your car is, what type of
car you have, how big your houseis, the vacation that you're
(07:20):
going on, the things that you'redoing with your kids, that if
you want to get depressed, theeasiest way is just go on these
social networks and compareyourself to other people.
But at the same time, you havethe opportunity to go find.
Those videos, like theones that you're producing
and the networks and theshows that are actually
healthy for you and that arelooking out for your health.
(07:40):
And I know one thing,most, everything is based
off of our behaviors.
So you could say socialmedia is always giving
me these bad videos.
The truth is you're alwayslooking for those videos because
it's based off your behaviors.
It's an algorithm that they,all they really care about is
keeping you on that platform.
So if it's my Facebook everytime I go there, all it is
(08:03):
is people asking for prayer.
But it's not allthat fancy cars.
It's not this house.
It's not somebodyin a bathing suit.
It's not some guy who's justsuper strong that I'm never
gonna compare to, that'sgonna make me feel bad.
It's people that need prayer,that want prayer, that are
doing something good, that arepraying for other people that
are going on missions tripsand other things like that.
So I had to switch myalgorithm too, but now I get
(08:25):
fed that same type of stuff.
So I think a lot of it, yeah,the Bible, but just utilizing
the resources we have.
I did create a book,but that's one of a few
resources out there.
I'm starting a couplepodcasts, but that's just
one of the few resources.
Maybe what I'm saying maynot resonate with you.
Maybe what there says resonatesa whole lot better with you.
(08:46):
So I'm not saying, Hey,I'm the only resource.
There's a lot of resourcesout there in the things
that you're already doing.
Even from the radio.
If you're listening to theradio, you could switch that
dial or turn that dial acouple turns, and you could be
on a Christian radio networkor listening to the words.
So I think there's a lotof resources out there we
could just tap into thatare right in front of us.
(09:07):
Jacob.
I think that's really greatadvice, and the fact is, is
that we have so many choicesavailable to us if we can
just switch those things thatare negative and negative.
Turn on the things that feedand nourish and encourage us,
surround us with those things.
(09:28):
That's what the Bible tellsus is to think on those
things that are lovelyand that are God honoring.
It's a real way ofrenewing the mind.
Now I also do appreciate yousaying people should listen to
radical abundance, and if you'rehere listening and finding
something encouraging, I hopethat you subscribe to the show.
Go ahead and hit thatnotification, be so you
(09:49):
don't miss a single episode.
We really appreciate you doingthat, and leave a comment below.
I would be honored to prayfor you, and I would be
really delighted to hear howthe show's impacting you.
So please, and thank you fortuning into Radical Abundance.
Now Jacob, tell me about thisbook that you've written.
I do wanna talk about that.
(10:10):
Yeah, absolutely.
It's called TheRenewal of the Mind.
One day I was going througha rough seat patch probably
about a year, a year anda half ago, and I was
begging God for help and Iactually felt him talk to me.
It wasn't just hearing, Iactually felt him talk to me and
first thing he really did wastell me I to learn how to love.
And it kind of hurt me at theseason because I was going
(10:32):
through a rough patch myself.
And it wasn't whatI wanted to hear.
It wasn't what Iexpected to hear.
It wasn't what I thought Godwould come and tell me when
I'm finally hearing him.
You need to learn how to love.
The truth is I had to learn howto love or I wouldn't be able
to understand the season thatI went through and the things
that I was going through and nowto where he brought me to also.
(10:55):
So I made it through that.
It was like, All right, God,I don't think I'm the one who
needs to learn how to love.
Other people need tolearn how to love, but.
I kept it on my heart, startedthinking about that and I was
like, Well, if God told me thatthere must be something too.
I mean, he's the creator ofall and he came and told me
how to learn how to love.
I better think about learninghow to love start kind of doing
(11:15):
that, which I look back now andit really helped me process the
season that I was going through.
Just talking through it as likeGod holding my hand, walking
me through guiding me exactly.
and showing me, not justgiving me a quick bandaid or
a quick answer, but actuallylike walking me through why
I went through what I wentthrough, but also helped
me finding purpose in it.
(11:36):
Then I find myself acouple months later.
really just like, All right,God, I'm doing good, but I
could still use some help.
I could use some guidance.
People always say give it toGod, but how do we do that?
And I felt like God toldme to write a book and I'm
like, God, I'm not an author.
I had, you know, learningdisabilities as a kid.
I'm a d d, You don't wantme to write this book.
(11:58):
And he told me he was, Iwasn't gonna write it, that
he was gonna help me write it.
The Holy Spirit isgonna help me write.
right after that, he putRomans 12, two on my heart.
I didn't know what that was.
I went and looked it up andit said, Do not be conformed
to the patterns of thisworld, but be transformed by
the renewing of your mind.
And at that time,that's what I needed.
My mind was probablyat the worst space I've
(12:20):
ever been in my life.
My son, one of my sons ina mental health hospital.
Me personally, I went througha divorce and it was just
like things were compiling.
I just turned 40.
So midlife crisis, likeeverything's going wrong.
Mentally I'm kind of broken.
And then God shows me thisverse, Romans 12, two, and
(12:40):
that's kind of where it started.
And he just showed me andguided me all the way through.
And it's just been amazing, allthe healing I've experienced
through myself, all theforgiveness I've experienced,
all the growth I've experiencedjust through writing the book.
But the crazy thing is throughrenewing my mind, and it's
never just fully renewed.
(13:01):
It's a, it's an ongoing process,but through the renewing of
my mind and kind of goingthrough this, I realize that
it's also like renewing andhelping everyone around me.
It's not just me.
It's renewing and likerefreshing everybody around
me, which is just amazing.
The healing eyes,experience the healing.
I've seen other peopleexperience around me too,
(13:22):
the forgiveness, the mindset,the thoughts that people from
my mom to my families, to mysister, to just neighbors and
friends and everybody else.
It's kind of crazy wherewhen you start to make
change, how much it couldchange other people around
you and just everythingaround you, not just you.
One thing I was realizing isa lot of times we harden our.
(13:44):
And God mentionedhardening Pharaoh's heart.
But if you look at how hehardened Pharaoh's heart,
all he did was miracles andlike signs and miracles.
That's all he did inHar Pharaoh was jealous.
He was the top one at the time.
He was the king.
He was the one over everybody,the most powerful person.
And for some, somebody orsomething, or for God to come in
(14:05):
and like show him how powerfulhe is and hardened his heart
because Farrell was jealous of.
So a lot of times we hardin our heart, if it's from
jealousy, if it's from her, ifit's from pain, if it's from
something we've experienced,we end up hardening our heart.
And one thing I've reallyrealized is if we build walls up
(14:25):
around our heart, I've realizeda couple things, two things.
When we build walls around ourheart, at some point they become
so thick and so tall and sowide that yeah, they don't let
people in, but they also trapus in and they don't let us out.
And that.
We just hold ourselveshostage in a spot.
But not only that, not onlydo we help hold ourselves
(14:46):
hostage in that spot or keepourselves there mentally.
Maybe not physically,but mentally.
Think about how much emotionwe have to use or how many
feelings and emotions we haveto use to keep up those walls.
How many stories we have to tellourselves, how many things we
have to create inside our headand in our mind just to support.
(15:06):
Hardening my heart orthese feelings or something
that somebody did to me.
Now I can never letanybody love me again.
Now I can never feel orexperience this again
because one person hurt me,so I built up this wall.
Now I have to have allthese emotions and all these
feelings just as supportive,and sometimes that becomes
heavy, comes heavy on theheart and heavy on the mind.
(15:30):
. Yeah.
We really weren't designed tocarry all of these burdens alone
we're, That's why God created usas the people in fellowship and
to share one another's burdens.
So Jacob, we've talkedlittle bit about how.
Mental health issues canimpact each other and the
family, and we've talkedabout the Bible as a resource.
(15:53):
Oftentimes I know that oneof the difficult things is
knowing what to say to someone.
Maybe someone who isgoing through a time of
anxiety or depression.
Someone maybe who has evensaid, I'm struggling here.
You.
What are some of the helpfulthings that we can say because
(16:16):
people just don't know howto respond to that situation.
What do you think?
You know, honestly, I, whenI read the Bible, I see Jesus
a lot and most of the time Idon't see him quoting scripture.
A lot of times it's actionsthat he's doing for the people.
It's sitting there havinga conversation with him.
(16:37):
It's showing them love.
Yes, he has healedpeople, but it's also
just showing them more.
It's, I think a lot of timesit's not necessarily what
we say but what we do, andjust to let somebody know
that you understand thatyou do care if it's buying
them a cup of coffee or justasking how they're doing.
Sometimes you don't have tosay anything, and people could
be so sad that they thinknobody loves him or nobody
(16:59):
cares about them, and youcan just smile and all of a
sudden it changes their day.
So sometimes it's not reallywhat you're saying or the
one thing you can say.
Cause I think as Christians wetry to think of them super verse
like that one verse I couldgive them that's gonna make them
feel all right, you know what?
Their family member just died.
They just lost a child.
(17:21):
Something happened.
It takes time to process.
Sometimes it's not verse or it'sthe thing, it's the, maybe it's
the words with action that you.
Maybe it's the wordswith the heart behind it.
I always say a lot of timeswe can't lead with hate.
We can't lead with anger.
We can't lead with jealousy.
We have to lead with love.
We have to lead withlove all the time.
(17:42):
If we start asking ourselvesis something sinful, we need
to change that the way we'rethinking to, is it out of love?
Not, is it sinful?
Can I get away with it?
Is there this gray arearight here that I can get
away and still be in God's?
What about is it outta love?
Like, am I doingthis outta love?
Like people tell me stuffall the time, or I hear stuff
(18:03):
all the time, or comments onsocial media and sometimes, you
know, I just sit back and say,you know, is that outta love?
Maybe people didn't writeit right or whatever, so
I'm not gonna jump to aconclusion or whatever.
Or is there something I couldtry to teach them or show
them out of what they've done?
I don't know, need togo correct them or.
Make them feel bad aboutsomething they did.
Maybe I could show themsomething out of love, how
(18:24):
to be a better person, evenif it hurt me a little bit.
But I could show themhow to love more and it
could help other people.
Sometimes we have to think aboutthough, just really our actions
that go with our words, butreally where's it coming from?
Is it coming from our heart?
I think that seeing things thatcoming from a place of love
can really help us to receivethings from other people well.
(18:46):
We can't always depend on otherpeople receiving what we are
delivering in that same way,because we can't make them
receive things out of love.
One of the challenges Isee is that oftentimes we
are so uncomfortable withthings that are broken.
But we want to fix it.
That's why we wantthat super birth.
That will make thewhole situation okay.
(19:08):
Or we're quick to say, Oh,well, it'll be all right.
God has a plan for that.
And I think that whensomeone's really suffering
and we just rush to.
Dismiss it because we areuncomfortable with their pain.
I don't think that thatnecessarily helps them at all.
And sometimes, in fact,most of the times they don't
(19:29):
need anyone to fix anything.
They just need someoneto be there and someone
to listen and love.
Listening goes a lotfarther than talking.
I.
Jacob, I cannot believe howour time has flown by today.
The topic of mental healthis so important, and I'm
grateful that we're talkingabout all month long during
(19:52):
World Mental Health Month.
As we sign off today, you haveone final word for our audience.
I think one final word isfind somebody to talk about.
What you're going through, tryto find somebody you can relate
to and to tell you the truth,I've found complete strangers.
Sometimes I've relatedmore to than a friend or a
(20:14):
family because I felt morecomfortable talking to them.
But if you don't write, journalit down if nothing else.
But if you don't write itor talk about it, it may
be hard to release it.
So we can't hold onto things.
Be aware of your mental health.
Write it down, talk to somebodyand don't build walls around
your heart because we don't,We can't take on the weight of
this world, and that's reallywhat it is When you hold in.
(20:34):
Regret, unforgiveness,stuff like that.
That's really what it is.
It's just holding onthe weight to the world.
It's really foryou to be set free.
I love that.
Get it out.
Talk to someone.
And I do want to say, sincewe're talking about mental
health, if you are thinkingof hurting yourself or someone
else, know that you are.
You are an important,valuable person and you
(20:57):
would be so deeply missed.
Reach out, talk to someone.
There's a phone numberin the show notes.
Don't keep it inside.
Don't spend onemore minute alone.
Reach out and say something.
You are worth it.
Jacob, thank you forbringing up the topic.
I'm so glad that we had achance to talk today, and I
(21:18):
wish you a radically abundant.
You too.
Thank you.
Blessings.
Welcome to Radical Abundance.
I'm your host, Teresa Janzen,and the month of October
is World Mental HealthMonth and October 10th is
World Mental Health Day.
Today's guest is passionateabout helping people be aware
of mental health issues andwhat that means in the family,
in society, and in the church.
(00:25):
Welcome, Jacob Balker.
It's great to have youon radical abundance.
My pleasure.
Thank you, Therea,for having us.
Definitely a pleasure.
I talk a lot about mental healthand how we could build awareness
for everybody out therefor their families and just
individuals struggling with it.
So just wanna talk a lotabout, and a little about
(00:46):
awareness of mental health.
Well, thankfully Jacob, welive in an era where mental
health doesn't have quitethe stigma that it has had
in the past, although it'sprobably still there, I'm sure.
And certainly no one wantsto have mental health
issues in their family.
Yet, I think most of us, ormaybe even I may go as far as to
(01:11):
say nearly all of us have beentouched in one way or another
with mental health challenges.
What is it that makes this suchan important issue for you?
For me personally, I have a22 year old son who is in a
mental health hospital, butI think that's part of the
(01:31):
extreme of mental health,which people start thinking.
Mental health hospitalsor different stuff going
on with individuals.
But what I wanna talk a littlebit about today is also just
the regular mental health, suchas stress, anxiety, depression,
and things that most of usdeal with on a regular basis.
That if we don't talk aboutit or we don't address it,
(01:52):
it becomes more of an issueor a bigger problem that
sometimes we can't control her.
Becomes a lot harder to.
.
Absolutely.
I think that oftentimes asChristians, we feel like we
shouldn't be having theseissues, and if it's a member
of our family, maybe we'reafraid of what other people
will think or something.
(02:14):
But you're right, that stressand anxiety, I think most
of us would readily admitthat impacts our lives.
And what some peoplearen't aware of is that.
Is cumulative.
And so you're right.
If you don't do something aboutit, if you don't address the
issue and just keep pushingon, it will come up to get
(02:36):
you in one way or another,eventually, oftentimes
as a more severe problem.
Why do you think thatas Christians, we have
still stigmatized this?
I think a lot of times asChristians, we don't like to
talk about things just because.
People think that we're supposedto have it together being a
(02:56):
Christian that we're saved.
So now we figured it all out.
I think being saved is thefirst part of it, but that's
just the beginning of takingthe steps of figuring it out.
The truth is I think all of usare struggling with something.
We just have to try to aexcept that we can't do it
alone, that we do need help.
Maybe not acceptwhat the problem.
(03:18):
Because we could be acceptingthe wrong thing, but
really that we need help.
We can't do it alone.
And that really throughChrist and through what God
has given us, his son andeverything he's done, I mean
that is freedom within him.
And mental health is a bondage.
So to break thatbondage, sometimes we
have to talk about it.
(03:39):
Not only so we have somesupport, but also we could
break free of that, and wehave other people that are
encouraging us and knowthat something's going on.
I know for me personally,my son was the one doing,
dealing with the like majormental health, but it brought
stress, anxiety, depression,like a million different
(04:03):
things upon our family.
Not only me and his mom,but the his brothers and.
And everybody else too.
It wasn't just himwho was affected.
So sometimes we think thatwe're strong enough and maybe
we don't need to talk about it.
I know men think that a lot.
Like we just don'ttalk about this stuff.
We bury it.
(04:23):
We're here to support.
We're not here to get support.
Women sometimes just dependingthe support system, they're
open to talk about somethings, but other things.
Are a little bit more personalor they don't want their
friends to judge them orwhatever the situation is.
Maybe.
I think a lot of times it'show we feel that people are
gonna portray our situationor portray us as a, being a
(04:47):
Christian like, Oh, I toldyou so, or look at them,
they're weak because of that.
But then at the sametime, I think it takes a
lot of courage to do it.
It takes a lot of courageto say, Hey, look,
something is wrong.
I don't feel right.
And I need to give some help.
You know, it's the samething with Anything that
we have to bring outthat does isn't perfect.
We want to look like we haveit all together, just like
(05:10):
you said, and we don't liketo confess our weaknesses, but
that is the absolute lie ofthe enemy because the Bible
tells us exactly that we shouldbe bringing our weaknesses
to one another and supportingone another in Christian Love.
That's I think, why it's soimportant to have something like
(05:30):
a World Mental Health Month.
Where we can spend some timetalking about it, bring it out
into the open, acknowledge thatit's there, and then we can deal
with some of those underlyingproblems because it can be vast,
like you said, your son is inan actual hospital setting.
(05:51):
That is the more extremeend of it, and it can be
caused by a lot of things.
Could be physiological, couldbe a result of some of the
choices we make, but either way,it's impacting the family and
we are not made to go throughanything alone, especially
something like mental health.
(06:13):
So what are some of theresources that are available to
people that maybe some of ourlisteners might not even know?
You know, I'd say the numberone resource we have at our
hands that most Christiansdon't use as much as we should,
I would say is the Bible.
I think filling ourselveswith the word on a daily, I
mean, just renewing our mindwith it on a hourly, daily,
(06:35):
as much as we can contain it.
I mean, absorb it.
I think we should, I thinkdefinitely the Bible, but
we also have YouTube anda lot of resources that
we use on a regular basis.
Outside of trying to helpour mental health, outside
of trying to just, you know,we just use it to watch TV or
just to waste time, but whatif we could use that same
(06:57):
network or that same platformto increase our mental health?
What if we could use it towatch a podcast like yours that
you put on that really helpstalk about Christians and talks
about faith and talks about howto build that compared to the
secular world where it's always.
something.
How much money you have, howfast your car is, what type of
car you have, how big your houseis, the vacation that you're
(07:20):
going on, the things that you'redoing with your kids, that if
you want to get depressed, theeasiest way is just go on these
social networks and compareyourself to other people.
But at the same time, you havethe opportunity to go find.
Those videos, like theones that you're producing
and the networks and theshows that are actually
healthy for you and that arelooking out for your health.
(07:40):
And I know one thing,most, everything is based
off of our behaviors.
So you could say socialmedia is always giving
me these bad videos.
The truth is you're alwayslooking for those videos because
it's based off your behaviors.
It's an algorithm that they,all they really care about is
keeping you on that platform.
So if it's my Facebook everytime I go there, all it is
(08:03):
is people asking for prayer.
But it's not allthat fancy cars.
It's not this house.
It's not somebodyin a bathing suit.
It's not some guy who's justsuper strong that I'm never
gonna compare to, that'sgonna make me feel bad.
It's people that need prayer,that want prayer, that are
doing something good, that arepraying for other people that
are going on missions tripsand other things like that.
So I had to switch myalgorithm too, but now I get
(08:25):
fed that same type of stuff.
So I think a lot of it, yeah,the Bible, but just utilizing
the resources we have.
I did create a book,but that's one of a few
resources out there.
I'm starting a couplepodcasts, but that's just
one of the few resources.
Maybe what I'm saying maynot resonate with you.
Maybe what there says resonatesa whole lot better with you.
(08:46):
So I'm not saying, Hey,I'm the only resource.
There's a lot of resourcesout there in the things
that you're already doing.
Even from the radio.
If you're listening to theradio, you could switch that
dial or turn that dial acouple turns, and you could be
on a Christian radio networkor listening to the words.
So I think there's a lotof resources out there we
could just tap into thatare right in front of us.
(09:07):
Jacob.
I think that's really greatadvice, and the fact is, is
that we have so many choicesavailable to us if we can
just switch those things thatare negative and negative.
Turn on the things that feedand nourish and encourage us,
surround us with those things.
(09:28):
That's what the Bible tellsus is to think on those
things that are lovelyand that are God honoring.
It's a real way ofrenewing the mind.
Now I also do appreciate yousaying people should listen to
radical abundance, and if you'rehere listening and finding
something encouraging, I hopethat you subscribe to the show.
Go ahead and hit thatnotification, be so you
(09:49):
don't miss a single episode.
We really appreciate you doingthat, and leave a comment below.
I would be honored to prayfor you, and I would be
really delighted to hear howthe show's impacting you.
So please, and thank you fortuning into Radical Abundance.
Now Jacob, tell me about thisbook that you've written.
I do wanna talk about that.
(10:10):
Yeah, absolutely.
It's called TheRenewal of the Mind.
One day I was going througha rough seat patch probably
about a year, a year anda half ago, and I was
begging God for help and Iactually felt him talk to me.
It wasn't just hearing, Iactually felt him talk to me and
first thing he really did wastell me I to learn how to love.
And it kind of hurt me at theseason because I was going
(10:32):
through a rough patch myself.
And it wasn't whatI wanted to hear.
It wasn't what Iexpected to hear.
It wasn't what I thought Godwould come and tell me when
I'm finally hearing him.
You need to learn how to love.
The truth is I had to learn howto love or I wouldn't be able
to understand the season thatI went through and the things
that I was going through and nowto where he brought me to also.
(10:55):
So I made it through that.
It was like, All right, God,I don't think I'm the one who
needs to learn how to love.
Other people need tolearn how to love, but.
I kept it on my heart, startedthinking about that and I was
like, Well, if God told me thatthere must be something too.
I mean, he's the creator ofall and he came and told me
how to learn how to love.
I better think about learninghow to love start kind of doing
(11:15):
that, which I look back now andit really helped me process the
season that I was going through.
Just talking through it as likeGod holding my hand, walking
me through guiding me exactly.
and showing me, not justgiving me a quick bandaid or
a quick answer, but actuallylike walking me through why
I went through what I wentthrough, but also helped
me finding purpose in it.
(11:36):
Then I find myself acouple months later.
really just like, All right,God, I'm doing good, but I
could still use some help.
I could use some guidance.
People always say give it toGod, but how do we do that?
And I felt like God toldme to write a book and I'm
like, God, I'm not an author.
I had, you know, learningdisabilities as a kid.
I'm a d d, You don't wantme to write this book.
(11:58):
And he told me he was, Iwasn't gonna write it, that
he was gonna help me write it.
The Holy Spirit isgonna help me write.
right after that, he putRomans 12, two on my heart.
I didn't know what that was.
I went and looked it up andit said, Do not be conformed
to the patterns of thisworld, but be transformed by
the renewing of your mind.
And at that time,that's what I needed.
My mind was probablyat the worst space I've
(12:20):
ever been in my life.
My son, one of my sons ina mental health hospital.
Me personally, I went througha divorce and it was just
like things were compiling.
I just turned 40.
So midlife crisis, likeeverything's going wrong.
Mentally I'm kind of broken.
And then God shows me thisverse, Romans 12, two, and
(12:40):
that's kind of where it started.
And he just showed me andguided me all the way through.
And it's just been amazing, allthe healing I've experienced
through myself, all theforgiveness I've experienced,
all the growth I've experiencedjust through writing the book.
But the crazy thing is throughrenewing my mind, and it's
never just fully renewed.
(13:01):
It's a, it's an ongoing process,but through the renewing of
my mind and kind of goingthrough this, I realize that
it's also like renewing andhelping everyone around me.
It's not just me.
It's renewing and likerefreshing everybody around
me, which is just amazing.
The healing eyes,experience the healing.
I've seen other peopleexperience around me too,
(13:22):
the forgiveness, the mindset,the thoughts that people from
my mom to my families, to mysister, to just neighbors and
friends and everybody else.
It's kind of crazy wherewhen you start to make
change, how much it couldchange other people around
you and just everythingaround you, not just you.
One thing I was realizing isa lot of times we harden our.
(13:44):
And God mentionedhardening Pharaoh's heart.
But if you look at how hehardened Pharaoh's heart,
all he did was miracles andlike signs and miracles.
That's all he did inHar Pharaoh was jealous.
He was the top one at the time.
He was the king.
He was the one over everybody,the most powerful person.
And for some, somebody orsomething, or for God to come in
(14:05):
and like show him how powerfulhe is and hardened his heart
because Farrell was jealous of.
So a lot of times we hardin our heart, if it's from
jealousy, if it's from her, ifit's from pain, if it's from
something we've experienced,we end up hardening our heart.
And one thing I've reallyrealized is if we build walls up
(14:25):
around our heart, I've realizeda couple things, two things.
When we build walls around ourheart, at some point they become
so thick and so tall and sowide that yeah, they don't let
people in, but they also trapus in and they don't let us out.
And that.
We just hold ourselveshostage in a spot.
But not only that, not onlydo we help hold ourselves
(14:46):
hostage in that spot or keepourselves there mentally.
Maybe not physically,but mentally.
Think about how much emotionwe have to use or how many
feelings and emotions we haveto use to keep up those walls.
How many stories we have to tellourselves, how many things we
have to create inside our headand in our mind just to support.
(15:06):
Hardening my heart orthese feelings or something
that somebody did to me.
Now I can never letanybody love me again.
Now I can never feel orexperience this again
because one person hurt me,so I built up this wall.
Now I have to have allthese emotions and all these
feelings just as supportive,and sometimes that becomes
heavy, comes heavy on theheart and heavy on the mind.
(15:30):
. Yeah.
We really weren't designed tocarry all of these burdens alone
we're, That's why God created usas the people in fellowship and
to share one another's burdens.
So Jacob, we've talkedlittle bit about how.
Mental health issues canimpact each other and the
family, and we've talkedabout the Bible as a resource.
(15:53):
Oftentimes I know that oneof the difficult things is
knowing what to say to someone.
Maybe someone who isgoing through a time of
anxiety or depression.
Someone maybe who has evensaid, I'm struggling here.
You.
What are some of the helpfulthings that we can say because
(16:16):
people just don't know howto respond to that situation.
What do you think?
You know, honestly, I, whenI read the Bible, I see Jesus
a lot and most of the time Idon't see him quoting scripture.
A lot of times it's actionsthat he's doing for the people.
It's sitting there havinga conversation with him.
(16:37):
It's showing them love.
Yes, he has healedpeople, but it's also
just showing them more.
It's, I think a lot of timesit's not necessarily what
we say but what we do, andjust to let somebody know
that you understand thatyou do care if it's buying
them a cup of coffee or justasking how they're doing.
Sometimes you don't have tosay anything, and people could
be so sad that they thinknobody loves him or nobody
(16:59):
cares about them, and youcan just smile and all of a
sudden it changes their day.
So sometimes it's not reallywhat you're saying or the
one thing you can say.
Cause I think as Christians wetry to think of them super verse
like that one verse I couldgive them that's gonna make them
feel all right, you know what?
Their family member just died.
They just lost a child.
(17:21):
Something happened.
It takes time to process.
Sometimes it's not verse or it'sthe thing, it's the, maybe it's
the words with action that you.
Maybe it's the wordswith the heart behind it.
I always say a lot of timeswe can't lead with hate.
We can't lead with anger.
We can't lead with jealousy.
We have to lead with love.
We have to lead withlove all the time.
(17:42):
If we start asking ourselvesis something sinful, we need
to change that the way we'rethinking to, is it out of love?
Not, is it sinful?
Can I get away with it?
Is there this gray arearight here that I can get
away and still be in God's?
What about is it outta love?
Like, am I doingthis outta love?
Like people tell me stuffall the time, or I hear stuff
(18:03):
all the time, or comments onsocial media and sometimes, you
know, I just sit back and say,you know, is that outta love?
Maybe people didn't writeit right or whatever, so
I'm not gonna jump to aconclusion or whatever.
Or is there something I couldtry to teach them or show
them out of what they've done?
I don't know, need togo correct them or.
Make them feel bad aboutsomething they did.
Maybe I could show themsomething out of love, how
(18:24):
to be a better person, evenif it hurt me a little bit.
But I could show themhow to love more and it
could help other people.
Sometimes we have to think aboutthough, just really our actions
that go with our words, butreally where's it coming from?
Is it coming from our heart?
I think that seeing things thatcoming from a place of love
can really help us to receivethings from other people well.
(18:46):
We can't always depend on otherpeople receiving what we are
delivering in that same way,because we can't make them
receive things out of love.
One of the challenges Isee is that oftentimes we
are so uncomfortable withthings that are broken.
But we want to fix it.
That's why we wantthat super birth.
That will make thewhole situation okay.
(19:08):
Or we're quick to say, Oh,well, it'll be all right.
God has a plan for that.
And I think that whensomeone's really suffering
and we just rush to.
Dismiss it because we areuncomfortable with their pain.
I don't think that thatnecessarily helps them at all.
And sometimes, in fact,most of the times they don't
(19:29):
need anyone to fix anything.
They just need someoneto be there and someone
to listen and love.
Listening goes a lotfarther than talking.
I.
Jacob, I cannot believe howour time has flown by today.
The topic of mental healthis so important, and I'm
grateful that we're talkingabout all month long during
(19:52):
World Mental Health Month.
As we sign off today, you haveone final word for our audience.
I think one final word isfind somebody to talk about.
What you're going through, tryto find somebody you can relate
to and to tell you the truth,I've found complete strangers.
Sometimes I've relatedmore to than a friend or a
(20:14):
family because I felt morecomfortable talking to them.
But if you don't write, journalit down if nothing else.
But if you don't write itor talk about it, it may
be hard to release it.
So we can't hold onto things.
Be aware of your mental health.
Write it down, talk to somebodyand don't build walls around
your heart because we don't,We can't take on the weight of
this world, and that's reallywhat it is When you hold in.
(20:34):
Regret, unforgiveness,stuff like that.
That's really what it is.
It's just holding onthe weight to the world.
It's really foryou to be set free.
I love that.
Get it out.
Talk to someone.
And I do want to say, sincewe're talking about mental
health, if you are thinkingof hurting yourself or someone
else, know that you are.
You are an important,valuable person and you
(20:57):
would be so deeply missed.
Reach out, talk to someone.
There's a phone numberin the show notes.
Don't keep it inside.
Don't spend onemore minute alone.
Reach out and say something.
You are worth it.
Jacob, thank you forbringing up the topic.
I'm so glad that we had achance to talk today, and I
(21:18):
wish you a radically abundant.
You too.
Thank you.
Blessings.
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