June 27, 2023 • 35 mins
In Episode 5, of the Radically Rachael Podcast, Rachael shares a few laughs with listeners over childhood stories and diary entries from Senior Year!
As a little girl, Rachael began to craft a story to make sense of the trauma and turmoil she was experiencing. She began to think of her life as a love story and has always had her heart set on THE ONE.
No matter if you are single, with someONE or THE ONE.....there will be a lot to enjoy in this episode as Rachael teaches you how to manifest and cultivate better for yourself in love.
Grab a pen and paper....your Fairy GODmother has a few marching orders.....
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Intro Music: Stream "SPIRIT" by Radically, Rachael.
Intro Music Created and Provided with Permission by BigWonder.
Check out Big Wonder on Spotify and Apple Music.
Closing Music: "Radically Rachael" Provided with Permission by Fine Young Gamers.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
One day I woke up and realized that I wasn't happy.
(00:07):
But the best part about writing your own story is that you can change it whenever you want.
You are the main character and the author.
This is my life story.
The spiritual awakening and sexual evolution of a wild woman.
(00:31):
May these stories help you to see and understand your own story better,
awakening you to the magic and synchronicity within your own life.
I know they will make you laugh, cry, and cringe.
But they will also be a light in the darkness and a mirror
to teach you more deeply about who you are called to be.
(00:58):
I am Radically Rachael.
(01:21):
Hello Kings and Queens and everything in between.
Suns, moons, and stars. Listeners near and listeners far.
Welcome back to the Radically Rachael podcast.
This is episode 5.
(01:49):
How are we doing after the last episode? The gremlins.
I hope that you are becoming more aware of your inner dialogue.
There is a big difference between a higher thought, a loving thought,
a positively charged thought, and that of a gremlin.
You hopefully can recognize what is a low vibration, lying, dark, ugly gremlin thought.
(02:18):
Awareness of our thoughts is the first step in being able to create change in our thoughts.
If you want to make any change in your life, you must take charge of your thoughts.
Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions.
(02:39):
Your actions become your life.
Let's make radical changes together.
The topic of programming and reprogramming is massive.
In the last episode, I didn't even touch on the programs related to our race or religion
(03:01):
or the beliefs that you have about sexuality and gender identity.
But all of that? Yep, those are programs too.
Continue to reflect on which programs you wrote versus the ones that your parents or society wrote,
or which programs your church wrote for you.
(03:25):
Don't let your brain be running on an old crusty dusty PC from 1996, okay?
You can write new programs today. Speak out loud, kindly to yourself.
Your subconscious mind is listening.
After the episode, I'm sure you realized that your parents had an exceptionally important job.
(03:51):
They were the ones lucky enough to get to program your brain. How did they do?
Don't worry, they weren't the only ones. Your other family members, classmates, teachers, society, and celebrities.
They all helped too. They all just did the best they can.
(04:14):
However, developing awareness of ourselves can help us reprogram and rewire.
Your brain has neuroplasticity. It can change.
I first learned about neuroplasticity just a few years ago in the elementary classroom.
Before the concept, we thought that the human IQ was fixed, that it was something you were born with and it couldn't be changed.
(04:43):
But that's not true. Through conscious effort, practice, attention, and awareness, you can change your brain.
We weren't born knowing how to walk or talk. We babbled and we stumbled until we got it right.
We weren't born knowing how to problem solve or ride a bike. We had to learn those things.
(05:09):
We faced lots of challenges to shape us and grow us. Humans are resilient. We can bounce back from anything.
But you must believe that you can. You must fake it until you make it.
Tell your subconscious mind you can change. You can do hard things. It will listen to you and learn over time.
(05:36):
This concept is called growth mindset. Your mindset shapes your reality.
If you tell yourself you can't, you won't. If you tell yourself you can, you will.
It all begins with shaping the way we think and talk about ourselves.
I can't. Yet. This is tough. But so am I. I can do hard things.
(06:13):
In the last episode, I shared with you about the birth of my sister and how that cemented a story for me around the idea that I was bad,
around the idea that I was unwanted, and that's why my parents needed to replace me or have another child, is because I was not good enough.
(06:35):
It was a seed within me, and I began to make many stories and narratives around it.
Today, we will explore that story.
Rachaella. A Fairy Tale.
Once upon a time,
(06:57):
there was a little girl
who believed that God was writing her love story.
Born on the 16th of May
to a loving mother and father,
she was cherished.
(07:21):
Though after a short time, it appeared the child was wild and deemed a bad seed.
She sobbed inconsolably and wouldn't listen to authority.
So the couple tried for another child.
The girl now had a sister.
(07:46):
The girl felt unwanted by her parents, and her world was turned upside down,
her sister now her sworn enemy.
Her home, once a beautiful castle, now held her captive,
and her wicked mother tortured and tormented her.
Her father was too busy working and numbing himself to tend to the girl's pain.
(08:12):
Feeling abandoned, the girl often romanticized for a prince or knight to come and rescue her.
She believed somewhere
there was a fairy tale romance out there for her.
True love.
That inner hope is what carried her through her darkest moments,
(08:34):
dreaming she would be loved someday,
just the way she was.
Ever since I can remember,
I've been looking for the one.
I was looking for a savior,
(08:55):
a white knight,
a prince in shining armor to rescue me.
Perhaps it was the Disney movies,
but they gave me a beautiful template of hope.
I don't hate on Disney films or the values they instilled in me.
They truly saved me.
(09:16):
Cinderella finds herself abandoned and left with a cruel stepfamily.
She wishes and prays for help and hope.
A fairy godmother appears.
She sings to Cinderella that impossible things are happening every day,
but we must wish for them and have belief that they can come true.
(09:43):
Belle, taunted and ostracized by her whole community,
labeled weird and odd, a reader like me, misunderstood.
She showed compassion and graced the beast,
allowing him to learn to give himself the same grace and compassion.
When we love the beast inside ourselves,
(10:07):
we give it something it never had.
Pocahontas, Ariel, Jasmine.
All of those women stood up to their fathers,
unafraid to speak out for what was right,
unafraid to speak out against injustice.
All of those characters, all of those women,
(10:31):
their stories, historically accurate or not,
they all came from a broken home.
Each had a single parent, each experiencing loss and heartache, all suffering.
They all felt different or on the outside, the black sheep.
(10:55):
They were me.
Through these movies and stories, I saw that even the loud outspoken girls,
the ones who talk back and stand up for others,
the ones who defy their parents,
the ones who are odd and different,
even they found love.
(11:18):
Someone wanted them.
It gave me hope to believe that no matter how ugly, broken or alone I felt at times,
somewhere, someone would love me.
They could love me, no matter where I came from.
(11:41):
They would care for me and protect me in a way I had never experienced.
I believed in the one.
I gushed about the one.
If my mom and dad didn't love me, then my future person would.
(12:02):
The fairy tale archetype became the archetype for my life.
Let's take a moment to listen to one of the actual first stories I ever wrote on paper,
bringing it all the way back to first grade, 1996.
I was six years old.
(12:23):
This book was my first ever fully published work,
and I entered it in the Young Authors Fair.
The Magic Fairy and the Big Bird, written by Rachael Wild,
(12:48):
illustrated by Rachael Wild,
dedicated to Timmy.
Timmy is a boy I had a crush on in the first grade.
Timmy, if you're hearing this, I am sorry that I stepped on your wooden eagle carving
from your special eagle collection.
You were a sensitive, kind and patriotic one.
(13:09):
Sorry, my guy.
Once upon a time, there was a fairy, a magic fairy.
The magic fairy was flying.
She remembered she had to wash windows, clean her room, vacuum,
mop, make her bed, and get dressed.
(13:31):
Then, her wing got stuck on a branch because she wasn't looking where she was going.
Then, a big bird came and helped her get off of the branch.
And the bird and the fairy went home and lived happily ever after.
The End
(14:04):
So, what's funny is that on the last page, the illustration doesn't depict the bird and the fairy back at her house
like we saw on the earlier pages.
But she's now in a cave, somewhere else, somewhere safe with this big blue bird.
I was like that as a kid.
(14:26):
I wanted to get away, run away.
I wanted to live in a tree house, an old shed, maybe a forest somewhere with lots of large trees for shelter,
big hollowed out trunks for bedrooms and storage.
Maybe I could be like the boxcar children and live in a train car.
(14:50):
I could always hope to go and live with my rich grandfather like they did.
Papa did always say he had money buried out under his porch.
I'd sometimes fantasize about finding some old scrap of paper that would have some secret details of my birth,
and it would actually lead me to uncover a major family secret, that I actually belonged to someone else.
(15:17):
I was switched at birth!
Okay, well, if that wasn't possible, maybe my mom would just put me up for adoption.
Then I can be like Annie and meet a daddy Warbucks.
I'd better practice belting out tomorrow one more time, just to be ready, in case I ever need to impress a rich millionaire.
(15:44):
In the summertime, my neighbor friends and I would talk about jumping on the city bus that left from the corner in front of our houses.
We didn't know where it went.
In the wintertime, I'd build a snow fort and try to live in there all day.
At night, I would hope my parents would call my name outside and wonder where I was.
(16:09):
I just wanted to run away.
I know I wanted to feel safe, secure, and far from home.
But perhaps at that time, I was also really looking for someone to chase me.
For someone to want me.
(16:32):
I knew that someday, I would find the one.
I was always boy crazy.
I had lots of little boyfriends as a young girl in elementary school.
But from seventh grade up to senior year of high school, it was a barren and dry single land.
(16:58):
Population, me.
I crushed hard though.
I even took secret pictures of cute checkout boys at the local jewel.
I had an album in my radio station.
I was a little girl.
I had an album in my razor phone of blurry pics titled cute boys.
(17:25):
Yeah, and we're wondering why was I single.
Yeah, now we know.
Even just crushing on boys, I'd say to my friends, I think he's the one.
He could be the one.
You never know, he could be the one.
(17:46):
Should I go to so and so's party?
Maybe I'll meet the one.
Better change my outfit before I go to the grocery store with my mom.
The one could be there.
I even measured real guys against my fantasy person.
The one wouldn't do XYZ.
(18:08):
The one wouldn't say ABC.
If my friends were dating someone and being treated badly.
I used the same type of comparison.
I wanted everyone I knew to also choose to date of the highest caliber.
Dating for marriage.
I was even saving myself for the one.
(18:32):
Yeah, like marriage style.
We will come back to that another episode though.
I would ask my Christian summer camp counselors and mentors,
how do you know when you've met the one?
I would ask my small group to pray for me because I was struggling and sad in my singleness.
(18:58):
I woke up every day thinking,
this could be the day that I meet the one.
This could be the day that my whole life changes.
This could be the day.
Here are a few short journal entries from the end of my senior year of high school.
(19:20):
I was just weeks shy of turning 18.
I'll post a link in the show notes to where you can find some photos of these OG journal entries on social media,
just for funsies.
(19:47):
April 30th, 2008.
Sometimes I get very depressed because I'm still single.
There are times when I get so excited it brings me to tears.
I cannot wait to meet the man for me.
I just know that there is someone out there who is amazing and kind.
(20:10):
When I meet him, I will know.
I just feel good things are coming soon.
It's good to be positive and trust that God is preparing someone for me.
He is just working on him.
(20:37):
May 1st, 2008.
It's kind of weird to think that my husband is going to have this childhood and memories
that I'm not going to be a part of.
Like, he will have to face all these trials and tribulations before me.
He won't know any of my drama, my stories, or friends.
(21:01):
He won't have seen me in any theater shows.
I guess it's not important in the grand scheme, but these are the things that are important to me.
May 2nd, 2008.
(21:25):
If I could ask God one thing, it would definitely be either,
when will I meet my future husband, or if I already know him?
Not who, just if he's in my life.
Okay, maybe his name.
(21:46):
Quote, If I could tell the world just one thing, it'd be that we're all okay,
and not to worry, because worry is wasteful and useless in times like these. End quote.
I had to Google these lines because I didn't recognize them.
It's hands by Jewel. Some lyrics.
(22:11):
Let me read one more entry from the next day,
just to show you the full propensity of myself as a teenage girl.
May 3rd, 2008.
(22:36):
Snickers bars are so good.
I can't even comprehend the chocolatey, caramely, nutty goodness.
They are why I'm fat.
I should write them a letter and tell them, I am obese.
Oh Rachael.
(23:00):
What range.
In this same journal, I also wrote down a list called the Boyfriend List.
It is the first of a few different iterations of a Manifestation List for Love.
(23:21):
What I desired and was calling in, in a partner, a boyfriend.
Here is what I was asking of the universe at 17.
The Boyfriend List.
(23:51):
Number 1. Honest.
2. Trustworthy.
3. Respectful.
4. Kind.
5. Artistic.
6. Singer.
(24:14):
7. Christian.
8. Don't lower your standards to raise someone else's.
9. Moral.
10. Kindness. I wrote kindness a second time in the top 10.
(24:35):
11. Intelligent.
12. Photographer.
13. Writer.
14. Family-oriented.
15. Generous.
16. Has a job.
17. Can drive.
18. Unafraid to try new things.
19. Adored by parents and family.
20. Drug-free.
21. Down for drive-through.
(24:57):
22. Will let me play with his hair.
Hobbies include cuddling.
23. Affectionate.
24. Intriguing.
25. Amazing taste in music.
26. Unique.
27. Likes to read.
28. Loves life.
29. Eccentric.
30. Laughter.
(25:19):
31. Optimistic.
32. Beautiful.
33. Brave.
34. Stands up for others.
35. Eloquent.
36. Faithful.
37. Nice.
38. Funny.
39. Has plans for the future.
40. Good with kids.
41. Plays tennis.
(25:41):
42. Habla español.
43. Supportive.
44. Doesn't put others down.
45. Liberal.
46. Nice to elders.
47. Good listener.
48. Number 49.
49. Can make me smile.
50. Love.
50. Love.
50. Love.
(26:03):
50. Love.
50. Love.
50. Love.
50. Love.
What I find interesting about this list is that the last thing I asked for was love.
It shows you that I had some work to do and some growing to do before I was quite ready for it,
(26:27):
because obviously some things on that list are superficial or very specific characteristics.
And I did write a few other lists like this as I got older over the years,
some of the things were similar and of course some of the things were very different.
(26:49):
Maybe you can identify with these desires in some way.
Maybe you want to feel wanted, romantically or just in general.
Maybe you too long to be found, long to be desired for and loved.
(27:11):
If you are single and you've never written a list like my Manifest a Man list,
I would highly recommend it, especially for those of you who know in real time how my love story ends.
That list was just the beginning.
(27:32):
That list was my order with the Cosmic Waitress who took 15 years to deliver my food,
but it was still steamy hot and worth the wait.
So write down your own list, specifics and general things.
What kind of person, what kind of qualities, what kind of heart and spirit would this individual have?
(27:58):
If you are in a relationship, I would invite you to still write down a list of the kind of partner you desire
and what you want to cultivate in your relationship.
Manifest and claim some new energy for you and your partner.
We are always growing and evolving.
What do you want to experience in your relationship at this time?
(28:23):
Don't worry, radicals.
This is a 24-hour diner, so you can add to these lists,
and it's never too late to order or add an extra side or change the order altogether.
I rarely quote the Bible, but this verse comes to mind.
(28:46):
It's from the book of James, chapter 4, verse 2.
You do not have because you do not ask God.
So I'm your Fairy Godmother, and I'm here to tell you, ask away, babies.
Manifest your dream life, manifest your dream person, cultivate new energy into your relationships.
(29:10):
You do not have because you do not ask.
The world is full of zanies and fools who don't believe in sensible rules
(29:34):
and won't believe what sensible people say.
But because those daft and dewy-eyed dopes keep building up impossible hopes, it's possible.
Impossible things are happening every day.
As we end today's episode, please join me in some affirmations.
(29:56):
Repeat after me.
My expression and life is one big love story, because I am love.
I am worthy of cosmic and divine, life-altering love.
(30:32):
I will put in a tall order with the universe and trust that it will be delivered to me.
All things unfold in perfect timing.
(30:53):
Let's do those one more time.
My expression and life is one big love story, because I am love.
I am worthy of cosmic and divine, life-altering love.
(31:21):
I will put in a tall order with the universe and trust that it will be delivered to me.
All things unfold in perfect timing.
(31:44):
If you are single, the next two affirmations are just for you.
I can manifest the partner of my dreams.
If there's a me, there's a we.
(32:06):
Feel free to say, If there's a me, there's a she, or If there's a me, there's a he, whatever suits you.
If there's a me, there's a we.
(32:27):
And the idea behind that affirmation is if you're here longing and looking for love, they're out here too, longing and looking for you.
If you're here, they're here.
Plain and simple, it's a fact.
If any listeners out there already have a list like this that I spoke about today, a manifestation list of what you're looking for in a relationship,
(32:53):
or if any of you create one and you want to share it, please tag me on social media.
I would love to see what you're manifesting and cultivating into your life.
This is your Fairy Godmother signing off.
Radically Rachael.
(33:15):
All music has been provided with permission.
Intro music by Big Wonder Music.
Check out Big Wonder on Spotify and iTunes.
Closing credits performed by fine young gamers.
I want to be strong.
I want to be soft.
I want every single thing that I've been dreaming of.
(33:39):
But that takes courage.
And that takes time.
And a single moment to decide to change your mind.
If you don't like the road you are on, just turn around.
You too can start your life a radically different way.
You want to be radical, don't you?
(34:04):
Free in all the ways it matters with nothing left to prove.
You want to be radical, don't you?
Lose yourself to find yourself and find out what is true.
Before anything was something it first had to be a dream.
And dreamers have to dream the world that no one else can see.
(34:28):
Two eyes closed and one heart open straight for destiny.
Following the path you chose before you chose to be.
You want to be radical, don't you?
Free in all the ways it matters with nothing left to prove.
You want to be radical, don't you?
(34:53):
Lose yourself to find yourself and find out what is true.
You want to be radical, don't you?
Free in all the ways it matters with nothing left to prove.
You want to be radical, don't you?
(35:14):
Lose yourself to find yourself and find out what is true.
One day I woke up and realized that I wasn't happy.
(00:07):
But the best part about writing your own story is that you can change it whenever you want.
You are the main character and the author.
This is my life story.
The spiritual awakening and sexual evolution of a wild woman.
(00:31):
May these stories help you to see and understand your own story better,
awakening you to the magic and synchronicity within your own life.
I know they will make you laugh, cry, and cringe.
But they will also be a light in the darkness and a mirror
to teach you more deeply about who you are called to be.
(00:58):
I am Radically Rachael.
(01:21):
Hello Kings and Queens and everything in between.
Suns, moons, and stars. Listeners near and listeners far.
Welcome back to the Radically Rachael podcast.
This is episode 5.
(01:49):
How are we doing after the last episode? The gremlins.
I hope that you are becoming more aware of your inner dialogue.
There is a big difference between a higher thought, a loving thought,
a positively charged thought, and that of a gremlin.
You hopefully can recognize what is a low vibration, lying, dark, ugly gremlin thought.
(02:18):
Awareness of our thoughts is the first step in being able to create change in our thoughts.
If you want to make any change in your life, you must take charge of your thoughts.
Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions.
(02:39):
Your actions become your life.
Let's make radical changes together.
The topic of programming and reprogramming is massive.
In the last episode, I didn't even touch on the programs related to our race or religion
(03:01):
or the beliefs that you have about sexuality and gender identity.
But all of that? Yep, those are programs too.
Continue to reflect on which programs you wrote versus the ones that your parents or society wrote,
or which programs your church wrote for you.
(03:25):
Don't let your brain be running on an old crusty dusty PC from 1996, okay?
You can write new programs today. Speak out loud, kindly to yourself.
Your subconscious mind is listening.
After the episode, I'm sure you realized that your parents had an exceptionally important job.
(03:51):
They were the ones lucky enough to get to program your brain. How did they do?
Don't worry, they weren't the only ones. Your other family members, classmates, teachers, society, and celebrities.
They all helped too. They all just did the best they can.
(04:14):
However, developing awareness of ourselves can help us reprogram and rewire.
Your brain has neuroplasticity. It can change.
I first learned about neuroplasticity just a few years ago in the elementary classroom.
Before the concept, we thought that the human IQ was fixed, that it was something you were born with and it couldn't be changed.
(04:43):
But that's not true. Through conscious effort, practice, attention, and awareness, you can change your brain.
We weren't born knowing how to walk or talk. We babbled and we stumbled until we got it right.
We weren't born knowing how to problem solve or ride a bike. We had to learn those things.
(05:09):
We faced lots of challenges to shape us and grow us. Humans are resilient. We can bounce back from anything.
But you must believe that you can. You must fake it until you make it.
Tell your subconscious mind you can change. You can do hard things. It will listen to you and learn over time.
(05:36):
This concept is called growth mindset. Your mindset shapes your reality.
If you tell yourself you can't, you won't. If you tell yourself you can, you will.
It all begins with shaping the way we think and talk about ourselves.
I can't. Yet. This is tough. But so am I. I can do hard things.
(06:13):
In the last episode, I shared with you about the birth of my sister and how that cemented a story for me around the idea that I was bad,
around the idea that I was unwanted, and that's why my parents needed to replace me or have another child, is because I was not good enough.
(06:35):
It was a seed within me, and I began to make many stories and narratives around it.
Today, we will explore that story.
Rachaella. A Fairy Tale.
Once upon a time,
(06:57):
there was a little girl
who believed that God was writing her love story.
Born on the 16th of May
to a loving mother and father,
she was cherished.
(07:21):
Though after a short time, it appeared the child was wild and deemed a bad seed.
She sobbed inconsolably and wouldn't listen to authority.
So the couple tried for another child.
The girl now had a sister.
(07:46):
The girl felt unwanted by her parents, and her world was turned upside down,
her sister now her sworn enemy.
Her home, once a beautiful castle, now held her captive,
and her wicked mother tortured and tormented her.
Her father was too busy working and numbing himself to tend to the girl's pain.
(08:12):
Feeling abandoned, the girl often romanticized for a prince or knight to come and rescue her.
She believed somewhere
there was a fairy tale romance out there for her.
True love.
That inner hope is what carried her through her darkest moments,
(08:34):
dreaming she would be loved someday,
just the way she was.
Ever since I can remember,
I've been looking for the one.
I was looking for a savior,
(08:55):
a white knight,
a prince in shining armor to rescue me.
Perhaps it was the Disney movies,
but they gave me a beautiful template of hope.
I don't hate on Disney films or the values they instilled in me.
They truly saved me.
(09:16):
Cinderella finds herself abandoned and left with a cruel stepfamily.
She wishes and prays for help and hope.
A fairy godmother appears.
She sings to Cinderella that impossible things are happening every day,
but we must wish for them and have belief that they can come true.
(09:43):
Belle, taunted and ostracized by her whole community,
labeled weird and odd, a reader like me, misunderstood.
She showed compassion and graced the beast,
allowing him to learn to give himself the same grace and compassion.
When we love the beast inside ourselves,
(10:07):
we give it something it never had.
Pocahontas, Ariel, Jasmine.
All of those women stood up to their fathers,
unafraid to speak out for what was right,
unafraid to speak out against injustice.
All of those characters, all of those women,
(10:31):
their stories, historically accurate or not,
they all came from a broken home.
Each had a single parent, each experiencing loss and heartache, all suffering.
They all felt different or on the outside, the black sheep.
(10:55):
They were me.
Through these movies and stories, I saw that even the loud outspoken girls,
the ones who talk back and stand up for others,
the ones who defy their parents,
the ones who are odd and different,
even they found love.
(11:18):
Someone wanted them.
It gave me hope to believe that no matter how ugly, broken or alone I felt at times,
somewhere, someone would love me.
They could love me, no matter where I came from.
(11:41):
They would care for me and protect me in a way I had never experienced.
I believed in the one.
I gushed about the one.
If my mom and dad didn't love me, then my future person would.
(12:02):
The fairy tale archetype became the archetype for my life.
Let's take a moment to listen to one of the actual first stories I ever wrote on paper,
bringing it all the way back to first grade, 1996.
I was six years old.
(12:23):
This book was my first ever fully published work,
and I entered it in the Young Authors Fair.
The Magic Fairy and the Big Bird, written by Rachael Wild,
(12:48):
illustrated by Rachael Wild,
dedicated to Timmy.
Timmy is a boy I had a crush on in the first grade.
Timmy, if you're hearing this, I am sorry that I stepped on your wooden eagle carving
from your special eagle collection.
You were a sensitive, kind and patriotic one.
(13:09):
Sorry, my guy.
Once upon a time, there was a fairy, a magic fairy.
The magic fairy was flying.
She remembered she had to wash windows, clean her room, vacuum,
mop, make her bed, and get dressed.
(13:31):
Then, her wing got stuck on a branch because she wasn't looking where she was going.
Then, a big bird came and helped her get off of the branch.
And the bird and the fairy went home and lived happily ever after.
The End
(14:04):
So, what's funny is that on the last page, the illustration doesn't depict the bird and the fairy back at her house
like we saw on the earlier pages.
But she's now in a cave, somewhere else, somewhere safe with this big blue bird.
I was like that as a kid.
(14:26):
I wanted to get away, run away.
I wanted to live in a tree house, an old shed, maybe a forest somewhere with lots of large trees for shelter,
big hollowed out trunks for bedrooms and storage.
Maybe I could be like the boxcar children and live in a train car.
(14:50):
I could always hope to go and live with my rich grandfather like they did.
Papa did always say he had money buried out under his porch.
I'd sometimes fantasize about finding some old scrap of paper that would have some secret details of my birth,
and it would actually lead me to uncover a major family secret, that I actually belonged to someone else.
(15:17):
I was switched at birth!
Okay, well, if that wasn't possible, maybe my mom would just put me up for adoption.
Then I can be like Annie and meet a daddy Warbucks.
I'd better practice belting out tomorrow one more time, just to be ready, in case I ever need to impress a rich millionaire.
(15:44):
In the summertime, my neighbor friends and I would talk about jumping on the city bus that left from the corner in front of our houses.
We didn't know where it went.
In the wintertime, I'd build a snow fort and try to live in there all day.
At night, I would hope my parents would call my name outside and wonder where I was.
(16:09):
I just wanted to run away.
I know I wanted to feel safe, secure, and far from home.
But perhaps at that time, I was also really looking for someone to chase me.
For someone to want me.
(16:32):
I knew that someday, I would find the one.
I was always boy crazy.
I had lots of little boyfriends as a young girl in elementary school.
But from seventh grade up to senior year of high school, it was a barren and dry single land.
(16:58):
Population, me.
I crushed hard though.
I even took secret pictures of cute checkout boys at the local jewel.
I had an album in my radio station.
I was a little girl.
I had an album in my razor phone of blurry pics titled cute boys.
(17:25):
Yeah, and we're wondering why was I single.
Yeah, now we know.
Even just crushing on boys, I'd say to my friends, I think he's the one.
He could be the one.
You never know, he could be the one.
(17:46):
Should I go to so and so's party?
Maybe I'll meet the one.
Better change my outfit before I go to the grocery store with my mom.
The one could be there.
I even measured real guys against my fantasy person.
The one wouldn't do XYZ.
(18:08):
The one wouldn't say ABC.
If my friends were dating someone and being treated badly.
I used the same type of comparison.
I wanted everyone I knew to also choose to date of the highest caliber.
Dating for marriage.
I was even saving myself for the one.
(18:32):
Yeah, like marriage style.
We will come back to that another episode though.
I would ask my Christian summer camp counselors and mentors,
how do you know when you've met the one?
I would ask my small group to pray for me because I was struggling and sad in my singleness.
(18:58):
I woke up every day thinking,
this could be the day that I meet the one.
This could be the day that my whole life changes.
This could be the day.
Here are a few short journal entries from the end of my senior year of high school.
(19:20):
I was just weeks shy of turning 18.
I'll post a link in the show notes to where you can find some photos of these OG journal entries on social media,
just for funsies.
(19:47):
April 30th, 2008.
Sometimes I get very depressed because I'm still single.
There are times when I get so excited it brings me to tears.
I cannot wait to meet the man for me.
I just know that there is someone out there who is amazing and kind.
(20:10):
When I meet him, I will know.
I just feel good things are coming soon.
It's good to be positive and trust that God is preparing someone for me.
He is just working on him.
(20:37):
May 1st, 2008.
It's kind of weird to think that my husband is going to have this childhood and memories
that I'm not going to be a part of.
Like, he will have to face all these trials and tribulations before me.
He won't know any of my drama, my stories, or friends.
(21:01):
He won't have seen me in any theater shows.
I guess it's not important in the grand scheme, but these are the things that are important to me.
May 2nd, 2008.
(21:25):
If I could ask God one thing, it would definitely be either,
when will I meet my future husband, or if I already know him?
Not who, just if he's in my life.
Okay, maybe his name.
(21:46):
Quote, If I could tell the world just one thing, it'd be that we're all okay,
and not to worry, because worry is wasteful and useless in times like these. End quote.
I had to Google these lines because I didn't recognize them.
It's hands by Jewel. Some lyrics.
(22:11):
Let me read one more entry from the next day,
just to show you the full propensity of myself as a teenage girl.
May 3rd, 2008.
(22:36):
Snickers bars are so good.
I can't even comprehend the chocolatey, caramely, nutty goodness.
They are why I'm fat.
I should write them a letter and tell them, I am obese.
Oh Rachael.
(23:00):
What range.
In this same journal, I also wrote down a list called the Boyfriend List.
It is the first of a few different iterations of a Manifestation List for Love.
(23:21):
What I desired and was calling in, in a partner, a boyfriend.
Here is what I was asking of the universe at 17.
The Boyfriend List.
(23:51):
Number 1. Honest.
2. Trustworthy.
3. Respectful.
4. Kind.
5. Artistic.
6. Singer.
(24:14):
7. Christian.
8. Don't lower your standards to raise someone else's.
9. Moral.
10. Kindness. I wrote kindness a second time in the top 10.
(24:35):
11. Intelligent.
12. Photographer.
13. Writer.
14. Family-oriented.
15. Generous.
16. Has a job.
17. Can drive.
18. Unafraid to try new things.
19. Adored by parents and family.
20. Drug-free.
21. Down for drive-through.
(24:57):
22. Will let me play with his hair.
Hobbies include cuddling.
23. Affectionate.
24. Intriguing.
25. Amazing taste in music.
26. Unique.
27. Likes to read.
28. Loves life.
29. Eccentric.
30. Laughter.
(25:19):
31. Optimistic.
32. Beautiful.
33. Brave.
34. Stands up for others.
35. Eloquent.
36. Faithful.
37. Nice.
38. Funny.
39. Has plans for the future.
40. Good with kids.
41. Plays tennis.
(25:41):
42. Habla español.
43. Supportive.
44. Doesn't put others down.
45. Liberal.
46. Nice to elders.
47. Good listener.
48. Number 49.
49. Can make me smile.
50. Love.
50. Love.
50. Love.
(26:03):
50. Love.
50. Love.
50. Love.
50. Love.
What I find interesting about this list is that the last thing I asked for was love.
It shows you that I had some work to do and some growing to do before I was quite ready for it,
(26:27):
because obviously some things on that list are superficial or very specific characteristics.
And I did write a few other lists like this as I got older over the years,
some of the things were similar and of course some of the things were very different.
(26:49):
Maybe you can identify with these desires in some way.
Maybe you want to feel wanted, romantically or just in general.
Maybe you too long to be found, long to be desired for and loved.
(27:11):
If you are single and you've never written a list like my Manifest a Man list,
I would highly recommend it, especially for those of you who know in real time how my love story ends.
That list was just the beginning.
(27:32):
That list was my order with the Cosmic Waitress who took 15 years to deliver my food,
but it was still steamy hot and worth the wait.
So write down your own list, specifics and general things.
What kind of person, what kind of qualities, what kind of heart and spirit would this individual have?
(27:58):
If you are in a relationship, I would invite you to still write down a list of the kind of partner you desire
and what you want to cultivate in your relationship.
Manifest and claim some new energy for you and your partner.
We are always growing and evolving.
What do you want to experience in your relationship at this time?
(28:23):
Don't worry, radicals.
This is a 24-hour diner, so you can add to these lists,
and it's never too late to order or add an extra side or change the order altogether.
I rarely quote the Bible, but this verse comes to mind.
(28:46):
It's from the book of James, chapter 4, verse 2.
You do not have because you do not ask God.
So I'm your Fairy Godmother, and I'm here to tell you, ask away, babies.
Manifest your dream life, manifest your dream person, cultivate new energy into your relationships.
(29:10):
You do not have because you do not ask.
The world is full of zanies and fools who don't believe in sensible rules
(29:34):
and won't believe what sensible people say.
But because those daft and dewy-eyed dopes keep building up impossible hopes, it's possible.
Impossible things are happening every day.
As we end today's episode, please join me in some affirmations.
(29:56):
Repeat after me.
My expression and life is one big love story, because I am love.
I am worthy of cosmic and divine, life-altering love.
(30:32):
I will put in a tall order with the universe and trust that it will be delivered to me.
All things unfold in perfect timing.
(30:53):
Let's do those one more time.
My expression and life is one big love story, because I am love.
I am worthy of cosmic and divine, life-altering love.
(31:21):
I will put in a tall order with the universe and trust that it will be delivered to me.
All things unfold in perfect timing.
(31:44):
If you are single, the next two affirmations are just for you.
I can manifest the partner of my dreams.
If there's a me, there's a we.
(32:06):
Feel free to say, If there's a me, there's a she, or If there's a me, there's a he, whatever suits you.
If there's a me, there's a we.
(32:27):
And the idea behind that affirmation is if you're here longing and looking for love, they're out here too, longing and looking for you.
If you're here, they're here.
Plain and simple, it's a fact.
If any listeners out there already have a list like this that I spoke about today, a manifestation list of what you're looking for in a relationship,
(32:53):
or if any of you create one and you want to share it, please tag me on social media.
I would love to see what you're manifesting and cultivating into your life.
This is your Fairy Godmother signing off.
Radically Rachael.
(33:15):
All music has been provided with permission.
Intro music by Big Wonder Music.
Check out Big Wonder on Spotify and iTunes.
Closing credits performed by fine young gamers.
I want to be strong.
I want to be soft.
I want every single thing that I've been dreaming of.
(33:39):
But that takes courage.
And that takes time.
And a single moment to decide to change your mind.
If you don't like the road you are on, just turn around.
You too can start your life a radically different way.
You want to be radical, don't you?
(34:04):
Free in all the ways it matters with nothing left to prove.
You want to be radical, don't you?
Lose yourself to find yourself and find out what is true.
Before anything was something it first had to be a dream.
And dreamers have to dream the world that no one else can see.
(34:28):
Two eyes closed and one heart open straight for destiny.
Following the path you chose before you chose to be.
You want to be radical, don't you?
Free in all the ways it matters with nothing left to prove.
You want to be radical, don't you?
(34:53):
Lose yourself to find yourself and find out what is true.
You want to be radical, don't you?
Free in all the ways it matters with nothing left to prove.
You want to be radical, don't you?
(35:14):
Lose yourself to find yourself and find out what is true.
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