November 13, 2024 • 20 mins
The number 1 song on Rachael's replays of 2023?
You guessed it: KARMA!
Rachael first learned about karma after being bullied in elementary school....and after 25 years -she's seeing it served up piping hot!
Don't worry.....we all get what's ours.
What's yours, is yours.
What's mine, is mine.
😈 "want to be my sub?" 😈 www.youtube.com/@radicallyrachael
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Music Credit: Specialty Music by Miouxx
Intro Music: Stream "SPIRIT" by Radically, Rachael.
Intro Music Created and Provided with Permission by BigWonder.
Check out Big Wonder on Spotify and Apple Music.
Closing Music: "Radically Rachael" Provided with Permission by Fine Young Gamers.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
One day I woke up and realized that I wasn't happy.
(00:08):
But the best part about writing your own story is that you can change it whenever you want.
You are the main character and the author.
This is my life story, the spiritual awakening and sexual evolution of a wild woman.
(00:31):
May these stories help you to see and understand your own story better,
awakening you to the magic and synchronicity within your own life.
I know they will make you laugh, cry, and cringe.
But they will also be a light in the darkness and a mirror to teach you more deeply about who you are called to be.
(00:58):
I am Radically Rachel.
Hello kings and queens and everything in between.
Suns, moons, and stars.
(01:21):
Listeners near and listeners far.
Welcome back to the Radically Rachel podcast.
And do I have a story for you.
I encountered someone from my past this weekend.
So this story comes hot off the press.
Present time. Like literally September 2024.
(01:42):
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
That's how the saying goes.
But I think revenge is best served on a birthday cupcake.
(02:04):
In sixth grade I had this crazy plan to get my parents to take me seriously enough so that they would change my school.
I was being bullied so badly and I begged them to request for me to go to a new school.
And when that didn't work, I thought that if I was suicidal that they would take me seriously.
(02:25):
I didn't want to end my life.
But I did want a new life.
I was also a very dramatic 12 year old.
Sometimes my family ate dinner on our back patio.
It's like a screened in porch.
And just above it was a balcony off of my bedroom.
(02:46):
And I thought maybe I could throw a potato sack dressed in my clothes over the ledge.
And it would scare them into thinking that I had just attempted to unalive myself.
Maybe they'd be sorry. Maybe they'd care.
During fifth and sixth grade I spent every day after school in tears.
I didn't understand why I was being bullied and attacked by so many kids at school.
(03:12):
The ringleader of the bullies was this girl named Emma.
We used to be best friends in fourth grade.
We had sleepovers, wore each other's clothes and shoes.
I remember she liked to eat potato chips with her chocolate ice cream.
She had this stretchy black mini skirt that I wanted so bad.
Emma was pretty and cool.
(03:35):
Boys liked her and girls wanted to be her.
And some part of little Rachel wanted to be Emma too.
But I guess at one of the sleepovers we had at my house,
apparently my freezer was overflowing with fish sticks.
And my house smelled like fish sticks or I smelled like fish sticks.
(03:57):
Something along those lines.
Everyone at school began to taunt me with fish comments
or scribble it on the board when our teacher didn't notice.
Kids wrote about me on the chalkboard on my 12th birthday during indoor recess.
I hate fish. Fish is fat. Fish is ugly.
(04:18):
My teacher didn't know that they were talking about me.
Now it seems so silly and trivial.
But back then, seeing a fish on the TV screen during a science video
or reading an article in class about aquatic sea life would totally trigger me at school.
Even in the years after.
(04:41):
I wanted to be small. I wanted to disappear.
I wanted no one to notice me.
I didn't want anyone to pay attention to me.
I wanted to be left alone.
Emma lived in a neighborhood with about 20 other kids from our grade.
And they all took the same bus.
They were a major click mob and dominated the playground.
(05:03):
Me and my friends were always their targets.
I had my own little hobnob group where I was definitely the leader of the rejects.
But I know that we all had to band together to survive.
There were so many of these bully kids.
Nowhere and no part of the school day felt safe.
And when your mom is your bully too, home didn't feel safe.
(05:29):
I told my parents about all that was going on, but my mom was always big on us kids fighting our own battles.
And she didn't really like to get involved.
She says that she told my teacher, but my teacher said there was nothing she could really do.
At home, my mom taught me about karma.
Mom, don't worry. Karma will come back for them.
(05:54):
It always does. It always will.
Me, what do you mean karma?
Mom, what you put out into the universe, the good, the bad, it always comes back.
That energy will come back to bite her.
She will get what she deserves.
Me, but I won't get to see it.
(06:16):
I won't get to know that she's suffering.
I want to see her karma.
Mom, well, no, because that's not the way it works.
But trust God, trust the universe.
At 11, I wasn't quite ready for the Indian theology of the law of karma.
(06:37):
The law of karma states that the type of karma a person receives is determined by their actions.
And the good and the bad experiences in this life are the result of actions in this and previous lives.
We are all in an eternal cause and effect feedback loop. Karma.
(06:59):
Over the course of middle school and high school, I had a few classes with Emma.
I did hear about her life through the grapevine in our town, though I never saw her again.
Based on the things I heard from friends, it's safe to say Emma had indeed received her karma.
But I'm not here to air her dirty laundry.
(07:23):
I'm thankful for the bully that Emma was, because she made me a damn good teacher.
And I know that I made an impact in my classrooms when bullying was occurring.
I was vigilant to notice and be aware of any nuance to change within the balance of my classrooms.
I wanted all children, no matter their differences, to feel safe at school and safe in my classroom.
(07:49):
I told my students about how badly I was bullied, and I used my stories to connect to them and to empower them.
I know that being bullied in general aligned me into the advocate and loving teacher and leader I am today.
I can't say that I would change much about my past. I love who and where I am today.
(08:13):
Now, at the beginning of this episode, I told you that it was a present-day story.
So let's jump into this past weekend.
My boyfriend Christian and I had our bonus daughter for the weekend, whom I'll call Star. She's nine.
(08:36):
The same age I was when I was best friends with Emma.
I hit up my sister and her husband last minute to see if they wanted to get together.
They just bought a home more in the country, and we like to visit their small town and check out new restaurants together.
Star loves going to Aunt Al's and Uncle Max's house to visit their fur babies.
(08:59):
My sister sent a list of places that we hadn't been to yet, and we let Star choose where we would go for dinner.
A fried chicken joint, a Mexican restaurant, or a pub we'd been to before.
Star loves her chicken thingies, so that's where we planned to go.
After arriving to my sister's place, we walked over to the restaurant and opted for a table inside.
(09:23):
The place was packed and obviously a good spot in town to eat.
We ordered some fried pickles and waited for the rest of our food.
The fried pickles were so giant and juicy that each time we took a bite, hot juice shot out in all directions.
A different waitress dropped off our order and said to Star,
I'll be right back with your chicken finger basket. It's almost up.
(09:47):
In a cheery voice, thank you, I replied without looking up.
There was so much food already on our table, it was hard to imagine how we would make room for another basket of fried goodies.
The waitress returned, dropping off Star's meal, and I heard, Christian?
I looked at Christian first, scanning his face. He looked confused.
(10:10):
We went to high school together? she added.
Christian's eyes and mouth still conveyed that he had no idea who this girl was.
I turned to look at her.
She had medium brown hair that was French braided back into a ponytail, with the ends curled.
A bright yellow bow on the crown.
Emma, I said, no question in my voice.
(10:35):
I could recognize the little girl beneath the makeup, and despite the age difference we all now had.
It had been 25 years since this girl was my best friend, but I still knew her right away.
Rachel, she exclaimed, and Alexis. She even remembered my little sister.
(10:57):
Oh my gosh, I didn't see you. How crazy. It's been so long.
I can't remember what else happened in this moment exactly because, for me, I was hearing like a high pitched tone.
Like in one of those war flashback movie scenes where I was just seeing the highlight reel of my childhood trauma.
The pain and tears that this person caused me.
(11:21):
The bullying, the years of torment.
This person had ruined Santa Claus for me, and then in turn I ruined it for my first grade sister.
Get this table some fried Oreo balls on the house.
Emma told our waitress as she passed by.
Rachel, let me refill your lemonade.
Do you have some vodka in here? No? All right, be right back.
(11:45):
Damn, I could certainly use some vodka in there right now, I thought.
Christian, my sister, and I all locked eyes with our jaws dropped.
Out of all the establishments we could have went to for dinner, in all the small towns,
we found ourselves being waited on, in part, by my childhood arch nemesis and bully.
(12:08):
For most of the meal, I was actually just in shock and disbelief.
I wasn't feeling triggered or uncomfortable.
I told my sister and Christian, there had to be a reason why we came here tonight.
I know the universe works in mysterious ways, and I knew that there was something playing out here before me.
(12:30):
It would have been way more comical if I had ordered fish, but I prefer chicken myself.
I was kind and gracious. I was polite and not cold.
I called her a doll and thanked her for the Oreo balls.
She wants to pay cosmic retribution to me through Oreo balls.
(12:51):
I said to Christian, under my breath,
I never had imagined what I would say or do if ever faced with my childhood bully.
But apparently, Emma had imagined what she would say to me.
She got down next to me, crouching near the floor, her back turned to star.
(13:12):
Emma looked at me and said,
I wanted to tell you, I'm so sorry for how awful I was back when we were in school.
I was terrible and I think about it all the time.
I have kids now and I see that kids are just so petty.
But I think about it and I think about you all the time.
(13:34):
I am so sorry.
She stood and I said,
Well, Emma, I remember when we were best friends, so we used to have a lot in common.
But maybe we both just couldn't rule at the same time.
She laughed and made eye contact with the table.
(13:55):
I feel like you had to come in here tonight to like free my soul.
It's like destiny, she said as she walked away.
I do believe in destiny.
(14:16):
I do believe in karma.
I do trust that the universe is always working things out for me that I cannot see and understand.
Somehow, someway, spirit brought me into that little chicken joint so that Emma could complete her karmic cycles.
And in that I realized I didn't need an apology from my childhood bully
(14:42):
because I'm not anchored or hurting from that part of my past anymore.
I'm very much grounded into my life at the present.
I'm building my dreams, my brand and a career I love.
I actually landed a hot and popular guy who turned out to be a funny weirdo after all.
(15:04):
And I get to experience co-parenting and his magical daughter.
I am so happy and I am free.
If anything, this experience shows me and little Rachel,
we turned out okay.
Emma won't have power over you forever.
You don't get triggered or think twice when you see a fish out in the world.
(15:29):
And if anything, you are so radically, Rachel, loud and proud today.
I didn't just survive my childhood.
(15:50):
I am thriving.
What I'd like to say to you listener at the end of this episode
is if there's anyone that you need to reach out to to apologize to, it's never too late.
Find them on Facebook, I'm sure they're there.
And let them know you think about them and that you're sorry for whatever you did.
(16:12):
It's worth it.
Because you can free yourself from the pain and torment of the choices that you made in the past.
And for others, we trust in the words of Taylor Swift.
Karma is the thunder rattling your ground.
Karma's on your scent like a bounty hunter.
(16:33):
Karma's going to track you down, step by step, from town to town.
Sweet like justice.
Karma is a queen.
Remember little Rachel who was bullied on her birthday at school?
(16:56):
Yeah, that little Rachel wasn't so sure that the universe was going to serve Karma as necessary.
So I took things into my own hands.
On my 12th birthday at school, in sixth grade,
I served cupcakes with pink frosting and half of a strawberry on top.
The cupcakes had sprinkles.
(17:19):
But six of the cupcakes were also sprinkled with fish food.
Yep, turns out revenge is actually best served on a Funfetti cupcake.
Admittedly, 12-year-old Rachel wasn't as spiritually evolved as I am today.
Today, I let the universe work out Karma or revenge for me.
(17:49):
Please join me in repeating today's affirmations.
I am seen.
I am heard.
I am who I am and that is spectacular.
When I am patient, I let the universe do for me what I cannot do for myself.
(18:22):
Thanks so much for joining me.
See you next time.
(18:54):
If you don't like the world you are in, just turn around.
You too can start living a radically different life.
(19:28):
I want to be radical, don't you?
Lose yourself to find yourself to find out what's true.
Before anything was something it first had to be a dream.
And dreamers have to dream the world that no one else can see.
Two eyes closed in one heart, open straight for destiny.
(19:52):
Following the path you chose, the story you chose to be.
I want to be radical, don't you?
Lose yourself to find yourself to find out what's true.
(20:18):
I want to be radical, don't you?
Free in all the ways it matters, nothing left to prove.
I want to be radical, don't you?
Lose yourself to find yourself to find out what's true.
One day I woke up and realized that I wasn't happy.
(00:08):
But the best part about writing your own story is that you can change it whenever you want.
You are the main character and the author.
This is my life story, the spiritual awakening and sexual evolution of a wild woman.
(00:31):
May these stories help you to see and understand your own story better,
awakening you to the magic and synchronicity within your own life.
I know they will make you laugh, cry, and cringe.
But they will also be a light in the darkness and a mirror to teach you more deeply about who you are called to be.
(00:58):
I am Radically Rachel.
Hello kings and queens and everything in between.
Suns, moons, and stars.
(01:21):
Listeners near and listeners far.
Welcome back to the Radically Rachel podcast.
And do I have a story for you.
I encountered someone from my past this weekend.
So this story comes hot off the press.
Present time. Like literally September 2024.
(01:42):
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
That's how the saying goes.
But I think revenge is best served on a birthday cupcake.
(02:04):
In sixth grade I had this crazy plan to get my parents to take me seriously enough so that they would change my school.
I was being bullied so badly and I begged them to request for me to go to a new school.
And when that didn't work, I thought that if I was suicidal that they would take me seriously.
(02:25):
I didn't want to end my life.
But I did want a new life.
I was also a very dramatic 12 year old.
Sometimes my family ate dinner on our back patio.
It's like a screened in porch.
And just above it was a balcony off of my bedroom.
(02:46):
And I thought maybe I could throw a potato sack dressed in my clothes over the ledge.
And it would scare them into thinking that I had just attempted to unalive myself.
Maybe they'd be sorry. Maybe they'd care.
During fifth and sixth grade I spent every day after school in tears.
I didn't understand why I was being bullied and attacked by so many kids at school.
(03:12):
The ringleader of the bullies was this girl named Emma.
We used to be best friends in fourth grade.
We had sleepovers, wore each other's clothes and shoes.
I remember she liked to eat potato chips with her chocolate ice cream.
She had this stretchy black mini skirt that I wanted so bad.
Emma was pretty and cool.
(03:35):
Boys liked her and girls wanted to be her.
And some part of little Rachel wanted to be Emma too.
But I guess at one of the sleepovers we had at my house,
apparently my freezer was overflowing with fish sticks.
And my house smelled like fish sticks or I smelled like fish sticks.
(03:57):
Something along those lines.
Everyone at school began to taunt me with fish comments
or scribble it on the board when our teacher didn't notice.
Kids wrote about me on the chalkboard on my 12th birthday during indoor recess.
I hate fish. Fish is fat. Fish is ugly.
(04:18):
My teacher didn't know that they were talking about me.
Now it seems so silly and trivial.
But back then, seeing a fish on the TV screen during a science video
or reading an article in class about aquatic sea life would totally trigger me at school.
Even in the years after.
(04:41):
I wanted to be small. I wanted to disappear.
I wanted no one to notice me.
I didn't want anyone to pay attention to me.
I wanted to be left alone.
Emma lived in a neighborhood with about 20 other kids from our grade.
And they all took the same bus.
They were a major click mob and dominated the playground.
(05:03):
Me and my friends were always their targets.
I had my own little hobnob group where I was definitely the leader of the rejects.
But I know that we all had to band together to survive.
There were so many of these bully kids.
Nowhere and no part of the school day felt safe.
And when your mom is your bully too, home didn't feel safe.
(05:29):
I told my parents about all that was going on, but my mom was always big on us kids fighting our own battles.
And she didn't really like to get involved.
She says that she told my teacher, but my teacher said there was nothing she could really do.
At home, my mom taught me about karma.
Mom, don't worry. Karma will come back for them.
(05:54):
It always does. It always will.
Me, what do you mean karma?
Mom, what you put out into the universe, the good, the bad, it always comes back.
That energy will come back to bite her.
She will get what she deserves.
Me, but I won't get to see it.
(06:16):
I won't get to know that she's suffering.
I want to see her karma.
Mom, well, no, because that's not the way it works.
But trust God, trust the universe.
At 11, I wasn't quite ready for the Indian theology of the law of karma.
(06:37):
The law of karma states that the type of karma a person receives is determined by their actions.
And the good and the bad experiences in this life are the result of actions in this and previous lives.
We are all in an eternal cause and effect feedback loop. Karma.
(06:59):
Over the course of middle school and high school, I had a few classes with Emma.
I did hear about her life through the grapevine in our town, though I never saw her again.
Based on the things I heard from friends, it's safe to say Emma had indeed received her karma.
But I'm not here to air her dirty laundry.
(07:23):
I'm thankful for the bully that Emma was, because she made me a damn good teacher.
And I know that I made an impact in my classrooms when bullying was occurring.
I was vigilant to notice and be aware of any nuance to change within the balance of my classrooms.
I wanted all children, no matter their differences, to feel safe at school and safe in my classroom.
(07:49):
I told my students about how badly I was bullied, and I used my stories to connect to them and to empower them.
I know that being bullied in general aligned me into the advocate and loving teacher and leader I am today.
I can't say that I would change much about my past. I love who and where I am today.
(08:13):
Now, at the beginning of this episode, I told you that it was a present-day story.
So let's jump into this past weekend.
My boyfriend Christian and I had our bonus daughter for the weekend, whom I'll call Star. She's nine.
(08:36):
The same age I was when I was best friends with Emma.
I hit up my sister and her husband last minute to see if they wanted to get together.
They just bought a home more in the country, and we like to visit their small town and check out new restaurants together.
Star loves going to Aunt Al's and Uncle Max's house to visit their fur babies.
(08:59):
My sister sent a list of places that we hadn't been to yet, and we let Star choose where we would go for dinner.
A fried chicken joint, a Mexican restaurant, or a pub we'd been to before.
Star loves her chicken thingies, so that's where we planned to go.
After arriving to my sister's place, we walked over to the restaurant and opted for a table inside.
(09:23):
The place was packed and obviously a good spot in town to eat.
We ordered some fried pickles and waited for the rest of our food.
The fried pickles were so giant and juicy that each time we took a bite, hot juice shot out in all directions.
A different waitress dropped off our order and said to Star,
I'll be right back with your chicken finger basket. It's almost up.
(09:47):
In a cheery voice, thank you, I replied without looking up.
There was so much food already on our table, it was hard to imagine how we would make room for another basket of fried goodies.
The waitress returned, dropping off Star's meal, and I heard, Christian?
I looked at Christian first, scanning his face. He looked confused.
(10:10):
We went to high school together? she added.
Christian's eyes and mouth still conveyed that he had no idea who this girl was.
I turned to look at her.
She had medium brown hair that was French braided back into a ponytail, with the ends curled.
A bright yellow bow on the crown.
Emma, I said, no question in my voice.
(10:35):
I could recognize the little girl beneath the makeup, and despite the age difference we all now had.
It had been 25 years since this girl was my best friend, but I still knew her right away.
Rachel, she exclaimed, and Alexis. She even remembered my little sister.
(10:57):
Oh my gosh, I didn't see you. How crazy. It's been so long.
I can't remember what else happened in this moment exactly because, for me, I was hearing like a high pitched tone.
Like in one of those war flashback movie scenes where I was just seeing the highlight reel of my childhood trauma.
The pain and tears that this person caused me.
(11:21):
The bullying, the years of torment.
This person had ruined Santa Claus for me, and then in turn I ruined it for my first grade sister.
Get this table some fried Oreo balls on the house.
Emma told our waitress as she passed by.
Rachel, let me refill your lemonade.
Do you have some vodka in here? No? All right, be right back.
(11:45):
Damn, I could certainly use some vodka in there right now, I thought.
Christian, my sister, and I all locked eyes with our jaws dropped.
Out of all the establishments we could have went to for dinner, in all the small towns,
we found ourselves being waited on, in part, by my childhood arch nemesis and bully.
(12:08):
For most of the meal, I was actually just in shock and disbelief.
I wasn't feeling triggered or uncomfortable.
I told my sister and Christian, there had to be a reason why we came here tonight.
I know the universe works in mysterious ways, and I knew that there was something playing out here before me.
(12:30):
It would have been way more comical if I had ordered fish, but I prefer chicken myself.
I was kind and gracious. I was polite and not cold.
I called her a doll and thanked her for the Oreo balls.
She wants to pay cosmic retribution to me through Oreo balls.
(12:51):
I said to Christian, under my breath,
I never had imagined what I would say or do if ever faced with my childhood bully.
But apparently, Emma had imagined what she would say to me.
She got down next to me, crouching near the floor, her back turned to star.
(13:12):
Emma looked at me and said,
I wanted to tell you, I'm so sorry for how awful I was back when we were in school.
I was terrible and I think about it all the time.
I have kids now and I see that kids are just so petty.
But I think about it and I think about you all the time.
(13:34):
I am so sorry.
She stood and I said,
Well, Emma, I remember when we were best friends, so we used to have a lot in common.
But maybe we both just couldn't rule at the same time.
She laughed and made eye contact with the table.
(13:55):
I feel like you had to come in here tonight to like free my soul.
It's like destiny, she said as she walked away.
I do believe in destiny.
(14:16):
I do believe in karma.
I do trust that the universe is always working things out for me that I cannot see and understand.
Somehow, someway, spirit brought me into that little chicken joint so that Emma could complete her karmic cycles.
And in that I realized I didn't need an apology from my childhood bully
(14:42):
because I'm not anchored or hurting from that part of my past anymore.
I'm very much grounded into my life at the present.
I'm building my dreams, my brand and a career I love.
I actually landed a hot and popular guy who turned out to be a funny weirdo after all.
(15:04):
And I get to experience co-parenting and his magical daughter.
I am so happy and I am free.
If anything, this experience shows me and little Rachel,
we turned out okay.
Emma won't have power over you forever.
You don't get triggered or think twice when you see a fish out in the world.
(15:29):
And if anything, you are so radically, Rachel, loud and proud today.
I didn't just survive my childhood.
(15:50):
I am thriving.
What I'd like to say to you listener at the end of this episode
is if there's anyone that you need to reach out to to apologize to, it's never too late.
Find them on Facebook, I'm sure they're there.
And let them know you think about them and that you're sorry for whatever you did.
(16:12):
It's worth it.
Because you can free yourself from the pain and torment of the choices that you made in the past.
And for others, we trust in the words of Taylor Swift.
Karma is the thunder rattling your ground.
Karma's on your scent like a bounty hunter.
(16:33):
Karma's going to track you down, step by step, from town to town.
Sweet like justice.
Karma is a queen.
Remember little Rachel who was bullied on her birthday at school?
(16:56):
Yeah, that little Rachel wasn't so sure that the universe was going to serve Karma as necessary.
So I took things into my own hands.
On my 12th birthday at school, in sixth grade,
I served cupcakes with pink frosting and half of a strawberry on top.
The cupcakes had sprinkles.
(17:19):
But six of the cupcakes were also sprinkled with fish food.
Yep, turns out revenge is actually best served on a Funfetti cupcake.
Admittedly, 12-year-old Rachel wasn't as spiritually evolved as I am today.
Today, I let the universe work out Karma or revenge for me.
(17:49):
Please join me in repeating today's affirmations.
I am seen.
I am heard.
I am who I am and that is spectacular.
When I am patient, I let the universe do for me what I cannot do for myself.
(18:22):
Thanks so much for joining me.
See you next time.
(18:54):
If you don't like the world you are in, just turn around.
You too can start living a radically different life.
(19:28):
I want to be radical, don't you?
Lose yourself to find yourself to find out what's true.
Before anything was something it first had to be a dream.
And dreamers have to dream the world that no one else can see.
Two eyes closed in one heart, open straight for destiny.
(19:52):
Following the path you chose, the story you chose to be.
I want to be radical, don't you?
Lose yourself to find yourself to find out what's true.
(20:18):
I want to be radical, don't you?
Free in all the ways it matters, nothing left to prove.
I want to be radical, don't you?
Lose yourself to find yourself to find out what's true.
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