July 11, 2020 • 34 mins
Have you ever felt hopeless at work? You should meet our new friend Heidi Floyd and hear her incredible story.
Heidi says, “Most of us have a life 90% of the world isn’t fortunate enough to have and somehow we feel hopeless. This young man didn’t realize how incredibly blessed he was - with his head down, just thinking about himself, he couldn’t see all the good things.”
“There is love all around us. There is hope all around us. But if all we’re focused on is just getting through the day, we’re going to miss it.”
“But when you examine them closely, sometimes the little things can turn out to be the biggest gifts in your life.”
Heidi has welded together over a decade of non-profit management experience but more importantly, she has tackled some of life’s ups and downs head-on. Not only is she a breast cancer survivor, but has leveraged that experience to become a nationally recognized patient support activist, helping some of the largest companies in the world be supportive of families going on their cancer journey.
She has served as the “voice of the patient” for myriad organizations including Ford, Google, the US Department of Defense, the American Cancer Society, and Susan G. Komen, and has been published in Forbes, Huffington Post, CNN, and in The NY Times.
I say every episode is created for one person out there who needs it, and today that might be you. I can't wait for you to hear it.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Introduction (00:01):
Welcome to the Raise Up Podcast.
The only podcast focused on howyou can get a raise at work.
Every week, we're dishing tips,and tricks straight from the
industry experts, CEOs, and HRDirectors.
So, you can finally get paidwhat you're worth.
So, buckle up buttercup, let'sbreak it down.
She's a little sassy, but a lotof fun.
(00:22):
Here's your host, AmandaLeFever.
Amanda (00:27):
What is up everybody?
Welcome to the Raise Up Podcast.
My name is Amanda LeFever, andI'm here to help you make more
money at your job.
My new friend, and our specialguest today is a mom, author,
and international speaker, HeidiFloyd.
Heidi has welded together adecade of non-profit management
experience with her experienceas a breast cancer survivor and
(00:48):
is now a whirlwind activist inthe field of breast cancer
patient support.
Heidi has served as the voice ofthe patient for many
organizations, including forGoogle, the US Department of
Defense, the American CancerSociety, and Susan G.
Komen.
And has been published inForbes, Huffington Post, CNN,
and in the New York Times.
(01:09):
Hey, Heidi.
Thanks for being on the show.
Heidi (01:11):
Thank you very much for having me, I appreciate the
invitation.
Amanda (01:14):
Yeah, I'm so excited.
So, I was totally drawn to youand your story.
Do you mind telling ourlisteners a little bit about
what you're passionate about,and why?
Heidi (01:25):
Sure, I'm passionate about many things, but I kind of
have a singular focus.
Now I am first, and foremost, awife and mom.
And so, that kind of is whereall of my energy is centered.
However, my side passion, if youwill, is for breast cancer
research.
And in my family, my mom hadbreast cancer as did her mom,
(01:45):
and I, myself, have breastcancer.
And since I have children, Iwould like that stop with me.
I would prefer that my childrennot have to say those exact
words that I just did.
And so, I'm doing all I can withmy limited capabilities to get
the voice out, and educatepeople who want to learn about
it to help companies find theirphilanthropic heart.
(02:07):
If they want to be, you know,someone who can partner in this,
and to be supportive to familieswho are going on their cancer
journey.
And that's really where my heartlies.
Amanda (02:17):
That's amazing.
And I know that you have done somuch over the last years, and
you've overcome a significantamount.
And as we talked about a littlebit, our show is all about
someone improving theirfinancial situation, like
getting a raise at their job.
But I was drawn to you as aguest, and I'm excited to have
you here because we have found alot of our listeners feel like
(02:41):
they're trapped in a badsituation at work, and they
aren't sure which way to go.
And you found yourself sort oftrapped in an unbelievably bad
position.
Can you talk about mindset whenyou're faced with like major
life obstacles?
Heidi (02:56):
Sure.
I mean, everyone has obstacles,and everyone has their own story
of how they've overcome things.
Or, even if they're in themiddle of it right now, it will
be their story, you know, fiveyears from now, they'll be able
to look back and kind of tellwhat happened.
Everyone has had bad jobs buthave liked the people that
they've worked with or havereally liked their jobs and not
(03:17):
liked the people that they'veworked with.
So, it's really just kind of adifferent scenario.
I, myself, was kind of livingwhat I would consider to be this
fantastic life.
I had a great husband, kids,things were going well.
My husband had decided to kindof step away from his computer
programming job and become apastor.
And so, he was at school, andthat is right when we realized
(03:39):
that I simultaneously, werealized that not only was I
pregnant, but I also had breastcancer.
And so, and I was 35.
So, for me, that wasinconceivable.
My mom was young when she wasdiagnosed with breast cancer and
passed very young.
So, for me, I did all of thatcame rushing back.
(04:00):
You know that those emotions, ohmy gosh, what do I do?
And, at the time my husband wasin school.
So, I was the one working fulltime supporting our family.
I had the insurance, and thenthis, this devastating news.
Really, the very first doctorthat I met with, encouraged me,
didn't encourage me.
There was no encouragement.
It was quite the opposite.
I was told without question if Iwanted to live, I had to
terminate the pregnancy, noquestion.
(04:22):
My cancer was too aggressive,that's just the situation.
And, I remember everythingswirling in my head, like, how
can this be?
That can't be, there has to beoptions.
Where everyone talks aboutchoice.
How come I am not beingpresented with one, what's the
situation?
So, we had to do a little bit ofscouting and found a doctor who
in fact told me, yes, you willbe able to combat this.
(04:44):
You'll be able to go throughchemotherapy while you're
pregnant, but it's going to bereally hard.
Like, it will be harder thanwhat your mom went through,
harder than what all the otherwomen are going through when you
sit there with them in thewaiting room.
And I thought, well, in my mind,my thought was kind of swirling,
oh my gosh, this is terrible.
Am I even going to live?
But even though he told me itwas going to be the most
(05:04):
difficult thing, he still gaveme hope.
He still told me there would belight at the end of the tunnel,
but it would be a tunnel.
Like there would be a journeythat you would have to go
through, that would beincredibly difficult.
But at the end, there was a slimpercentage that not only might I
survive, but I might also get ababy out of it.
So, that's kind of how I jumpedinto it, realizing that yes, far
(05:28):
away was something that I couldreach for, something that I
could strive for, somethingtangible, another human,
something worth fighting for.
And that to me, is justparamount.
Knowing that there's somethingat the end, something that you
can achieve, for something youcan strive for.
And, the big thing is, and ofcourse, all of this relates to,
it's my life, it's my story, butit can relate to so many things.
(05:50):
Knowing that there's somethingat the end, knowing that you
can't do it by yourself, knowingthat you have to rely on the
intelligence and gravitas ofother people.
Just kind of going through thatsituation really did educate me
in ways that I couldn't haveeven imagined.
We did stay with that doctor.
Who's a genius, brilliant manknew exactly how to administer
(06:11):
the chemotherapy, what would,and would not cross the
placental barrier.
And in the end, I delivered asafe, healthy, handsome,
beautiful little boy.
It was, it was a struggle, itwas incredibly difficult.
But, as promised, the journeywas long and hard, but it was
successful knowing that I,knowing that I had something to
(06:32):
shoot for at the end.
Amanda (06:33):
And you're in, are you in remission now?
Heidi (06:36):
I am not, I had a re-occurrence about seven years
ago.
And so, I'll never be inremission.
So, I take a low dose form ofchemo every day, and it's not
nearly as drastic as theintravenous, this is more just,
they're trying to hold what Ihave.
I was not able to get what theycall clean margins in the
surgery.
So, I still have some inside me,so they're just keeping it in
(06:59):
control so it's not spreadingrampant throughout my body.
So, that's kind of been fuel tomy fire as well.
You know, knowing I dideverything I was supposed to do,
and then it came back again.
It just made me, it served tomake me more angry, but that
also, okay, what else can I do?
I'm doing the walks and thepresentations wasn't enough, how
else can I be involved in thecancer community to help out?
(07:21):
So, that's where I ended upwhere I am.
Amanda (07:24):
Right.
So, all of these opportunitieshave, not even these
opportunities, like thesetragedies you've turned them
into an opportunity more orless, is what it sounds like.
Heidi (07:32):
Yeah.
I think I had no intention ofthat, just so you know.
I was a computer programmer, Iworked with databases, I
extracted data, that was what Idid.
I worked alone with computersand gosh, I hadn't even, I had
just had the baby, just finishedchemotherapy, hadn't even
started radiation yet.
(07:52):
Cause you can't do both whenyou're pregnant.
And my doctor asked me if Iwould consider speaking.
And I said, without question,no, no, I will not do that.
And he's like but, he kind ofsat me down and explained to me
like, this is, this is why thismatters.
In your mind, this is yourstory, and you may, or may not
want to keep it private.
But he said I've dealt withseveral different types of
(08:14):
people over my long andhistoried career.
And there are people that getcancer, and they want to put it
in a box and put it away, andnever tell anyone about it.
He said, and then there's peoplethat get it, and they, it really
does fuel their fire.
They're so angry they have it,they don't know where to place
their energy.
And so, they use it to helpother people.
(08:35):
He said, I could be wrong, but Ithink you're in this other camp.
I think you're in the,"I want tohelp people." And I said, yeah,
but can I do that by likepraying quiet?
And he's like, no, no, yes youcan.
But also, you're going to bespeaking, and just tell your
story because it's not just yourstory.
There's someone who needs tohear it.
There's someone who needs tohear that I'm a doctor that can
(08:57):
help them if they're pregnant,you know what I mean?
Like that has to be done.
There's someone that needs toknow that, that your son is
valuable to you.
There's someone that needs tohear that he's okay.
Someone that needs to hear,gosh, I'm going through it, but
hers is much worse so I can keepgoing.
So, it was really his, and plushe saved my life.
So, what am I going to say?
Really?
No?
So, it was his kind of gentle,nudging, and encouragement that
(09:18):
had me do my very firstterrifying speech.
And then from that, literallyit's just been word of mouth.
I don't advertise, I don't.
People just come to me and askme to speak and share my story.
So, it has been good things havecome from the bad, but it's
certainly by no effort of myown.
Amanda (09:37):
Well, that's it.
I don't even know what to say.
Like your story is so inspiringand I'm just, I don't know, I'm
amazed by what you've done withsuch a hard situation.
Like a lot of people, like yousaid, would put it in a box and
just hold it in and not shareit.
(09:58):
How did you use that energy?
Like how did you harness it?
Heidi (10:04):
Honestly, the fact that I'm not a natural keynote
speaker really helps because Iget wildly sick beforehand,
cause I'm so nervous.
And so, all the energy I have tokind of compress it into,
calming myself down before.
If I were like an actress or itwas very easy for me, it would
probably be very much morestressful for me, quite
(10:27):
honestly.
All of my energy has to focus onthings like, please do not let
me fall when I walk up on stagelike that's what I, that's where
I gotta put everything.
Oh, my goodness.
And then I realized there aredifferent tiers, you know, there
are people that do the walks andruns all over the country to
raise money, and they're reallygood at it.
And their efforts fund researchthat saves lives.
(10:50):
That's, that's not mywheelhouse.
I've done that.
But when you're a mom of four,and your husband is busy, and
you're helping him.
But when you have all of thesethings going on, those types of
walks and runs aren't reallysomething that I can do, and I
wanted to keep working.
And someone asked me, gosh, youknow, have you ever considered
grant reviews?
And I'm like, I don't even knowwhat that means.
(11:10):
And they explained to me thatit's a pool of wonderful people
that sit together and review thegrant requests that come into
places like the American CancerSociety.
And you, as a patient advocate,could chime in and say,"that
sounds great, but also verypainful." Or have we considered
including minority populations?
You have to be the voice of thepatient, and I didn't even know
(11:32):
that that existed.
And when I first went, it wasinvited to be part of the
American Cancer Society grantsreview board.
That was my first taste of that,and it was like a light bulb
went off.
It was so amazing to see all ofthese ideas from around the
world, people submitting ideassaying,"I think that this might
(11:54):
help this particular type ofcancer." If we just try this,
this new technique or this newdrug, and it could be 10 years
off.
But just the idea that someyoung gal, some researcher in
Kansas has this brilliant idea,you know, do we fund her?
Yes, we do.
And so, I was always the onelike, yes, throw all of the
money at them.
But I learned over time, how tocarefully analyze these, you
(12:18):
know, it sounds wonderful, butin reality, is it sustainable?
Is it something that can beexecuted?
Might it already be happeningsomewhere else, you know, could
it even be partnered withanother researcher?
And so, from there I went to theDepartment of Defense, and I'm
on their grants review board aswell.
And that's, that's like the bigleagues, you know, that's an
even bigger step.
(12:38):
The United States Governmentfunds more breast cancer
research than anyone else, whichI find it fascinating.
But they're just brilliantpeople, and so, it's just an
honor to be part of it.
And that really helps focus myenergy as well, cause I'm not a
scientist.
And so, when these grants cometo me, I have to go through them
(13:00):
with a dictionary and Google onboth sides, learning what all
these words mean so that I canproperly present the voice and
say, yes, I understand as muchas I can.
And when I'm there, I'm able toask questions as well, explain
this to me.
So, and I'm able to do all ofthese things.
I have a full-time job.
(13:22):
I work as an executive admin fora great company, here in
Georgia.
And I take all of my vacationdays, every single PTO day, I
have to do these speakingengagements.
So, and I think when you and Ifirst started talking, I
thought, gosh, you know, I don'tmake a lot of money.
(13:42):
So, like I don't know if I'm theright one, but to me, what my
company allows me to do isalmost just as important.
You know, I can say, I'm notgoing to take two solid weeks of
vacation like everybody else,I'm going to take a Friday here,
or a Wednesday here, or aTuesday and a Monday.
And they allow me, not only dothey allow me to do it, but they
encourage me.
(14:03):
My bosses are like, oh, you'regoing to do great, you know,
this is fantastic.
Where are you going this time?
And, you know, they celebratewhat I'm doing.
And I think that is just asimportant as making a ton of
money.
It would be great, you know, tobe able to pay off all my cancer
bills, yes it would.
But it's also great knowing thatI'm supported emotionally and
(14:23):
peripherally by my bosses, thatit really means a lot to me.
Amanda (14:26):
And I think that's a huge piece of it.
We've talked about that a littlebit, kind of that raises and
promotions don't always come inthe form of like monetary
compensation that they, they cancome in flexibility, or they can
come in the fact that if yourkid's sick, you can leave and
it's okay.
Heidi (14:45):
Oh my gosh.
Yes, sometimes we get stuck inthis mindset that that's the
only way to have money.
Yeah.
Like this full and great life isif we hit this certain point,
but sometimes, and I think thatand that was one of the things
in our pre-interview that I wasreally excited about is how
(15:07):
amazing the company you work foris, and how supportive they are,
of what you're doing, becauseyou're helping so many other
people by being able to go andspeak and share your story.
And then I didn't even knowabout the grant writing that's
even more of the grant review, Imean, that's amazing.
And it's kind of the emotionalheart, if you will, the
(15:29):
philanthropic heart of thecompany, and there are other
companies that do this as well,but they're few and far between.
So, when you find them, it's notjust saying,"We really care
about people, and we want toencourage them to do charitable
acts." No, it's more than that.
It's saying, I understand, thatyou work in our warehouse five
(15:49):
days a week, but you have takentime to go help this camp for
children.
You know, I'm just using that asan example, and children with
special needs.
They don't just like talk aboutit and look at it.
They say,"what else can we do tohelp you?" You know, this is
worth celebrating.
And to me, that's crucial if youwork, and you're solely focused
(16:11):
just on financial, there's ahuge part of your life that you
could be missing by not helpingothers.
And I'm not saying everybody hasto go out right now and fund
breast cancer.
If you want to, that's okay too.
Amanda (16:26):
I'll hook you up with Heidi.
Heidi (16:29):
You know, if your grandpa's struggled with
Parkinson's, maybe that shouldbe your charity.
Or, your next-door neighbor girlhas cystic fibrosis, maybe
that's your charity.
Find something to give back, andthen talk about it.
Like, don't just do it in alittle, and I understand
everyone likes their privacy,but what if by sharing with
people, what you did thisweekend, you know, I did help my
(16:52):
neighbor with cystic fibrosis,and here's what we did.
Someone else might say, I nevereven thought about that.
I didn't even know that issomething that's needed in our
community.
Can I help you next time?
Or, I had no idea that gentlemanwith Parkinson's likes the smell
of flowers or really help him,can I help you make a basket?
Like things, if you share whatyou're doing with your heart,
(17:14):
you're inviting others into thatsame space.
And I think that's worth morethan money anytime, every time.
Absolutely.
So, there was one interview withthe Susan G.
Komen foundation you mentionedwhen people are fighting cancer,
they have to talk about it.
You said, reveal yourself.
Is that good advice for theworkplace as well?
(17:34):
We're talking about that alittle bit.
Like you didn't ask to be put ina bad spot, like ask for help
when you need it type situation?
Yes, and I learned that the hardway.
Initially, it was a verydifficult situation, but I
didn't reveal as much as Ishould have, especially about, I
(17:57):
mean, I think the more candidyou can be, it depends on your
situation.
If you were in an environmentwhere you feel like they don't
really care, and you're prettyconfident that they don't care,
that might just be an indicatorthat you might be in the wrong
situation.
But if you feel like you canconfide in someone, and I'm not
saying HR, you know what I'msaying, anyone in the company,
(18:18):
just to let them know, I'm goingthrough this situation, it could
be temporary.
You know, I'm helping my greataunt, who's probably only got a
month to live, let them know,let them know that situation.
But if it's something that'songoing and you don't know, it's
important that you let them knowas well.
Now, if you're not comfortabledoing so, then don't, because it
(18:40):
could obviously be used againstyou.
I mean, it is not uncommon forpeople with cancer, specifically
to be fired, to be mistreated atwork, and that's an entirely
horrible topic.
Amanda (18:54):
I had no idea.
I didn't even know.
Heidi (18:56):
It is unbelievable the harassment that occurs in places
that you wouldn't even expect,is shocking.
But that's how I noted tocherish environments that are
the opposite of that.
And, and it's not just, I'mgoing through this situation, by
opening up to people that youtrust, they might be able to
say, Hey, you don't know this,but in a month or two,
(19:18):
financially, you're going to bein a really hard place because
I've been there and here's whathappened.
Or, don't do this withinsurance, go this path, the
more you open up, the more youcan learn, everything is a
learning experience.
You're not asking for help asmuch as you're looking for an
education.
Like in our situation, we had noidea, my husband and I, we had
(19:41):
been fastidious.
We're very good, very cautious,and conservative of our money.
And then when I got cancer, thebills started to roll in that
you can't even imagine$300,000bills, things like that.
It was crazy, and we didn't knowwhat we were doing.
And so, we said, how are wegoing to pay these bills?
We got credit cards and maxedthem out, paying off cancer
bills.
We shouldn't if we didn't knowthat we could go to the hospital
(20:02):
and talk to them about this orthat insurance, you don't pay
first, insurance pays for it.
Like we didn't know any of that,and those tools aren't available
to people, but if you'recomfortable enough to talk to
someone at work, it doesn't evenhave to be the same situation.
It could be someone that hadjust gone to the hospital for a
stroke or something like that.
They could say, listen, I havethe same insurance as you,
(20:23):
here's what you need to do, andthat is valuable as well.
If you have someone at workthat's very valuable as well.
It's not like getting a raise,but it certainly is financial
acumen.
The education that you need todeal with any sort of crisis is
wonderful, and if you can getthat at work again, that's just
(20:43):
as good as a raise in somecases.
Amanda (20:45):
Yeah, you had mentioned a little bit too, about your
current position, their healthinsurance.
That, that was one of the drawsas well.
Sure.
I don't think that we reallytalked about that earlier, but
one of the questions that Iwanted to ask, is obviously
you're a really great speakerspeaking at Google and Ford as a
(21:06):
patient advocate.
You're part of care teams with alot of big personalities.
What advice can you give usabout being confident and clear
about what you need at work?
Heidi (21:20):
I think everyone knows the waters that they're swimming
in at work.
And if they don't, I'm hesitantbecause I've had so many friends
in the cancer community like Isaid, be completely mistreated
at work, you know, completelymaligned and treated poorly, but
then I've seen the oppositepeople being embraced.
(21:41):
I think it's each individualperson needs to assess the
situation that they're in.
If you are comfortable, if youfeel like you can trust the
people at work, then do share.
You'll know by looking in theirfaces when you've said it too
many times, or when you'vecrossed a line, or if someone is
(22:01):
disconnecting.
But it might be theiropportunity to learn from you as
well.
Like, I didn't know you had totravel?
I have airline miles; can I helpyou get there to your treatment?
Things like that, if you do itwithout asking for help, but
just kind of letting them know,just be as candid as possible.
(22:21):
You know, I'm struggling withmaking meals every Friday, cause
that's when the chemo kicks in,you know, just being as candid
as possible to see.
Cause you never know, peoplemight surprise you, being
willing to help or offer youadvice and tips and not, not
advice about your situation.
Not like, Oh, you know, myaunt's sister has imported some
(22:43):
mold from Mexico to help withcancer.
That's not what I mean.
No, no, no.
Amanda (22:48):
Does that happen too?
Heidi (22:49):
Oh, all the time.
Well, you know, if you had onlybeen eating vegan and I'm like,
oh, come on, come on.
No, not that type of advice, butI mean the, literally I just
went through this.
Did you know that there's thisthing you could do with our
insurance company?
Did you know that there's apsychologist available at no
cost on our insurance, thingslike that to help you
(23:11):
emotionally go through things?
If you don't know what'savailable, then it's, it's
incumbent on others.
I think to help you to learnwhat's available to me, how can
I make it through thissituation?
Amanda (23:23):
What are some things that you feel like have helped
you make it through thesesituations?
Heidi (23:28):
I'm a person who believes vehemently that I have a God who
loves me.
And I know that means a lot ofdifferent things to a lot of
different people.
I mean, my personal situationis, I like that guy in the Bible
that helped everybody all thetime and wasn't really mean.
(23:50):
That's what I'm going for, thenot mean guy, he's the one I
like.
And so that's kind of where Ifind a lot of strength, knowing
that no matter how many times Ifall, I will always be loved.
But then I also see that bysharing my story and by reaching
out to others, I see that littlespark in their eye that I think
(24:11):
my doctor must've seen when hetold me, yeah, it's gonna be
really hard, but you might makeit.
Just being able to share withsomeone, you know, look for a
doctor that will help you,giving advice for people that
didn't know.
That really helps me, helpingothers has helped me more than
almost anything else.
Saying things like, oh my gosh,do you know that there's a,
(24:31):
there's a group called the pinkfund in Michigan and they'll
help you pay your bills whileyou're going through chemo?
People light up, they have noidea that there are entities out
there that really just want tohelp them.
And when I can share thatinformation, it's incandescent.
It really is wonderful.
And that helps me, by giving toothers, it helps my heart
(24:53):
enormously.
Amanda (24:54):
Yeah.
Well, I know you have four kids,right?
So, it's probably a littlechaotic at home?
I'm just wondering like how haveyou balanced it all?
How do you, you said God, and Ibelieve in that too.
(25:16):
It just, it seems like so much,like I'm sure at times it was
really heavy.
Heidi (25:23):
Oh my, yes, and, dark.
I mean, there were times when Idid not think that I would live.
And so, I always go forth kindof thinking if that happens,
what are you going to do?
Cause having lost my mom, youknow, when I just started
college, I know what it's likenot to have a mom there when you
(25:44):
get married, and when you havebabies, and when you have
questions.
And so, I know what that absenceis like.
And so, I immediately went intowork mode, which is, the fight
or flight situation.
Mine is scrub the floors, likeif you're panicking, here's what
you need to do.
And so, for me, I did thingslike, I assumed I was going to
(26:05):
die, which is probably horrible,but there it is.
I sing to my children.
I used to sing to them at nightall the time.
And so, I recorded each one ofthem, a little CD with me
singing their favorite songs.
Because if I'm not there fiveyears later, I want them to
still have some sort of, cause Ihave no recording of my mom.
And so, I miss that terribly,and I wanted to make sure that
(26:25):
they had that.
So, I did make all these littleCDs for the girls.
And then I had my son, I madeone for him.
And then like, I'm still living,but the kids, I gave them to the
children because I started totravel a lot to speak.
And so, they started to call ittheir bed night music to go to
sleep because I wasn't dead, butI also wasn't there.
(26:48):
So, when I would travel, theywould listen to this music.
So, I've never excluded them.
I've always included them inconversations.
If I go to a speakingengagement, that's local, I'll
take them with me.
You know, you're going to comelisten to mom.
And even if you're a baby,especially when Noah, my son's
name is Noah.
When he was born, everyonewanted him to come to be at the
(27:13):
event so they could see like theface of hope.
That's what they wanted to see.
So, I dragged that baby acrossthis country to so many
different speaking engagements.
And at one point, it was a hugeevent, I think there were
probably 8,000 women.
It was a big, it was an arena,and afterward and he has white
hair, he's very, very blonde.
(27:33):
And at the end, there were somany grandmas that had kissed
him, the lipstick on the top ofhis head was so bad.
And he said I don't want to dothis anymore.
So, I promised him, he no longerhas to do that, but I try to
make sure that I didn't havelike this volunteer work that I
do over here.
And then my family and workedover here.
(27:54):
To me, if it's not altogether,then it's not true.
You know, I wanted them to knowit's important to do
philanthropic things.
It's important to give yourheart to something, find that
thing.
If it's not cancer, please, Ihope it's not cancer.
I hope it's the environment.
I hope it's something else thatyou care about enough to get
involved and be willing todonate so much time to.
(28:14):
So, they've always known thatgrowing up, they've always been
around this environment of doingthis work to help other people.
I forget we were walking in aforest one time; we were taking
a hike, we love taking hikes.
And I was in front of the kidsand they didn't know that I
heard them, but they werewalking around, and my son said,
(28:35):
oh my gosh, look at that tree,it's so deformed.
And they all stopped, and hesaid, it looks like it has a
tumor.
And my daughter said, don't tellmom, she'll get it some kind of
support group.
Well, they know all thelanguage, they know the words.
And they're also like, whatever.
Amanda (28:52):
That's awesome.
I love that.
Well, and they've seen you, justthis like beacon of hope, and
truth, and service.
And just being out there, it'ssuch an amazing, like role model
for your kids.
I'm really impressed.
Heidi (29:08):
It's very light, it's very lighthearted for them
because I mean, this is a veryserious topic, but they've heard
me, they've heard me share mystory so many times.
And I actually asked my youngestdaughter's name is Bella, and
when she was like eight, I askedher not to consider coming with
me anymore because she wouldlip-sync me up there.
And then at the point where likeeveryone would be crying.
(29:29):
She'd be like this,"mmmm" in thefront row.
And she's like, no, I want tokeep coming so I can get the
little, the little hot dogs atall these events.
I'm like, no little hot dogs.
That's all, it's like going tofancy events.
(29:50):
They just don't wanna hear momtalk the whole time.
Amanda (29:52):
And they want the good food and the swimming pool at
the hotel, right?
Heidi (30:00):
They like to travel.
They just don't like the boringpart.
Amanda (30:04):
And all right, well, we're getting ready to close.
And so, I have just kind of likeone more question, I think.
And I'm just wondering ifsomebody finds herself in like a
situation where they feelhopeless, what is something that
you would, you would tell them?
Heidi (30:28):
I would tell them to look for the little things.
Someone just asked me speakthis, a major corporation had me
speak to their all-handsmeeting.
And there was a young gentlemanwho said exactly that, it was
just the beginning of COVID, andhe said, I feel so helpless and
hopeless and alone.
And like, what do I have to livefor?
(30:48):
That's exactly what he said.
And I said, tell me about yourday?
Tell me about this morning?
Cause this was like a newpresentation that I was giving.
And he said, well, same thing asevery day, you know, I got up, I
don't know, I had some coffee.
I said, no, no, you got up, andthen what?
He said, what do you mean?
I said, literally walk methrough.
He said, well, I got up and Itook a shower.
I said you got up out of a bed,correct?
(31:11):
And he said, yeah.
I said, in a safe environmentwith clean sheets in an
air-conditioned room.
And he said, yeah, I said, andthen did you take a shower?
He said, well, yeah, of course.
I said, out of potable water,water that you could have quite
conceivably had a drink fromcoming out the shower, it was so
clean?
You had soap, you had a towel,you had everything you needed?
(31:33):
You have more than 90% of theworld and you haven't even left
your bedroom yet.
By stopping for just a moment tolook at the incredible bounty
around us.
The fact that you got out of bedand you're healthy, then you're
able to put your shoes onwithout any help or assistance.
(31:56):
That you're able to stand upwithout crutches.
That you're able to brush yourteeth because you have teeth,
that you have a toothbrush.
These are so many things thateveryone takes advantage, takes
for granted here in the USbecause they don't realize, or
they forget that we're soincredibly blessed here.
And, I kind of have come to hatethat word because people use it
(32:19):
for so many things, but reallythere's bounty all around us,
and there's love all around us,and there's hope all around us.
But if we're so focused on justgetting through the day, we're
going to miss it, it could bejust a little flower
accidentally growing in a crackon the sidewalk.
But if you're so busy walking byit, you're not going to notice
it.
Just stop for a minute, stop,and realize that your happiness
(32:44):
should not be tied to yourhealth or your financial
success.
It should be tied on what yourheart truly tells you to do.
So, look for the little things,stop for just a moment and look
for something very small.
And then you might be able tosee the very, very large gifts
that are around you as well.
Amanda (33:00):
That's amazing.
Thank you so much.
Oh my gosh, this has beenawesome.
Can you tell me where people canconnect with you if they want
to?
What's the best way to connect?
Heidi (33:11):
I'm on all sorts of social media.
LinkedIn is the best avenue forprofessional and speaking.
I do have a Heidi Floyd,"FollowHeidi" is my Facebook for
speaking engagements.
I'm pretty active on Twitter aswell, mostly because there's a
great cancer community out thereand we will frequently shoot
each other questions and answersand just support.
So I use each platform fordifferent things, but you just,
(33:36):
just look for me and you canfind me basically on any social
media.
I'm happy to connect with peoplefrom around the world.
Just anything that I can do tohelp.
I'd love to.
Amanda (33:45):
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much, Heidi,for being on the show.
This has been incredible and youhave provided so much insight.
I'm really excited for everybodyto listen to this.
Heidi (33:56):
Well, thank you very much.
It's an honor to be with you.
Amanda (33:58):
Yeah.
All right.
Well, I will talk to you soon.
Heidi (34:01):
Okay.
Thank you.
Amanda (34:02):
Bye.
Outtro (34:07):
Thanks for listening to the Raise Up Podcast.
If you want to raise, head towww.raiseuppodcast.com and
download our step by steproadmap where we've taken all
the expert advice we'vecollected and put it into a
simple PDF ebook called youguessed it, How to ask for a
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Before you join us again, makesure to subscribe, share it with
(34:27):
your friends.
You can click the share button,take a screenshot and share it
on your social stories and tag@AmandaLeFever, see you again
soon.
Welcome to the Raise Up Podcast.
The only podcast focused on howyou can get a raise at work.
Every week, we're dishing tips,and tricks straight from the
industry experts, CEOs, and HRDirectors.
So, you can finally get paidwhat you're worth.
So, buckle up buttercup, let'sbreak it down.
She's a little sassy, but a lotof fun.
(00:22):
Here's your host, AmandaLeFever.
Amanda (00:27):
What is up everybody?
Welcome to the Raise Up Podcast.
My name is Amanda LeFever, andI'm here to help you make more
money at your job.
My new friend, and our specialguest today is a mom, author,
and international speaker, HeidiFloyd.
Heidi has welded together adecade of non-profit management
experience with her experienceas a breast cancer survivor and
(00:48):
is now a whirlwind activist inthe field of breast cancer
patient support.
Heidi has served as the voice ofthe patient for many
organizations, including forGoogle, the US Department of
Defense, the American CancerSociety, and Susan G.
Komen.
And has been published inForbes, Huffington Post, CNN,
and in the New York Times.
(01:09):
Hey, Heidi.
Thanks for being on the show.
Heidi (01:11):
Thank you very much for having me, I appreciate the
invitation.
Amanda (01:14):
Yeah, I'm so excited.
So, I was totally drawn to youand your story.
Do you mind telling ourlisteners a little bit about
what you're passionate about,and why?
Heidi (01:25):
Sure, I'm passionate about many things, but I kind of
have a singular focus.
Now I am first, and foremost, awife and mom.
And so, that kind of is whereall of my energy is centered.
However, my side passion, if youwill, is for breast cancer
research.
And in my family, my mom hadbreast cancer as did her mom,
(01:45):
and I, myself, have breastcancer.
And since I have children, Iwould like that stop with me.
I would prefer that my childrennot have to say those exact
words that I just did.
And so, I'm doing all I can withmy limited capabilities to get
the voice out, and educatepeople who want to learn about
it to help companies find theirphilanthropic heart.
(02:07):
If they want to be, you know,someone who can partner in this,
and to be supportive to familieswho are going on their cancer
journey.
And that's really where my heartlies.
Amanda (02:17):
That's amazing.
And I know that you have done somuch over the last years, and
you've overcome a significantamount.
And as we talked about a littlebit, our show is all about
someone improving theirfinancial situation, like
getting a raise at their job.
But I was drawn to you as aguest, and I'm excited to have
you here because we have found alot of our listeners feel like
(02:41):
they're trapped in a badsituation at work, and they
aren't sure which way to go.
And you found yourself sort oftrapped in an unbelievably bad
position.
Can you talk about mindset whenyou're faced with like major
life obstacles?
Heidi (02:56):
Sure.
I mean, everyone has obstacles,and everyone has their own story
of how they've overcome things.
Or, even if they're in themiddle of it right now, it will
be their story, you know, fiveyears from now, they'll be able
to look back and kind of tellwhat happened.
Everyone has had bad jobs buthave liked the people that
they've worked with or havereally liked their jobs and not
(03:17):
liked the people that they'veworked with.
So, it's really just kind of adifferent scenario.
I, myself, was kind of livingwhat I would consider to be this
fantastic life.
I had a great husband, kids,things were going well.
My husband had decided to kindof step away from his computer
programming job and become apastor.
And so, he was at school, andthat is right when we realized
(03:39):
that I simultaneously, werealized that not only was I
pregnant, but I also had breastcancer.
And so, and I was 35.
So, for me, that wasinconceivable.
My mom was young when she wasdiagnosed with breast cancer and
passed very young.
So, for me, I did all of thatcame rushing back.
(04:00):
You know that those emotions, ohmy gosh, what do I do?
And, at the time my husband wasin school.
So, I was the one working fulltime supporting our family.
I had the insurance, and thenthis, this devastating news.
Really, the very first doctorthat I met with, encouraged me,
didn't encourage me.
There was no encouragement.
It was quite the opposite.
I was told without question if Iwanted to live, I had to
terminate the pregnancy, noquestion.
(04:22):
My cancer was too aggressive,that's just the situation.
And, I remember everythingswirling in my head, like, how
can this be?
That can't be, there has to beoptions.
Where everyone talks aboutchoice.
How come I am not beingpresented with one, what's the
situation?
So, we had to do a little bit ofscouting and found a doctor who
in fact told me, yes, you willbe able to combat this.
(04:44):
You'll be able to go throughchemotherapy while you're
pregnant, but it's going to bereally hard.
Like, it will be harder thanwhat your mom went through,
harder than what all the otherwomen are going through when you
sit there with them in thewaiting room.
And I thought, well, in my mind,my thought was kind of swirling,
oh my gosh, this is terrible.
Am I even going to live?
But even though he told me itwas going to be the most
(05:04):
difficult thing, he still gaveme hope.
He still told me there would belight at the end of the tunnel,
but it would be a tunnel.
Like there would be a journeythat you would have to go
through, that would beincredibly difficult.
But at the end, there was a slimpercentage that not only might I
survive, but I might also get ababy out of it.
So, that's kind of how I jumpedinto it, realizing that yes, far
(05:28):
away was something that I couldreach for, something that I
could strive for, somethingtangible, another human,
something worth fighting for.
And that to me, is justparamount.
Knowing that there's somethingat the end, something that you
can achieve, for something youcan strive for.
And, the big thing is, and ofcourse, all of this relates to,
it's my life, it's my story, butit can relate to so many things.
(05:50):
Knowing that there's somethingat the end, knowing that you
can't do it by yourself, knowingthat you have to rely on the
intelligence and gravitas ofother people.
Just kind of going through thatsituation really did educate me
in ways that I couldn't haveeven imagined.
We did stay with that doctor.
Who's a genius, brilliant manknew exactly how to administer
(06:11):
the chemotherapy, what would,and would not cross the
placental barrier.
And in the end, I delivered asafe, healthy, handsome,
beautiful little boy.
It was, it was a struggle, itwas incredibly difficult.
But, as promised, the journeywas long and hard, but it was
successful knowing that I,knowing that I had something to
(06:32):
shoot for at the end.
Amanda (06:33):
And you're in, are you in remission now?
Heidi (06:36):
I am not, I had a re-occurrence about seven years
ago.
And so, I'll never be inremission.
So, I take a low dose form ofchemo every day, and it's not
nearly as drastic as theintravenous, this is more just,
they're trying to hold what Ihave.
I was not able to get what theycall clean margins in the
surgery.
So, I still have some inside me,so they're just keeping it in
(06:59):
control so it's not spreadingrampant throughout my body.
So, that's kind of been fuel tomy fire as well.
You know, knowing I dideverything I was supposed to do,
and then it came back again.
It just made me, it served tomake me more angry, but that
also, okay, what else can I do?
I'm doing the walks and thepresentations wasn't enough, how
else can I be involved in thecancer community to help out?
(07:21):
So, that's where I ended upwhere I am.
Amanda (07:24):
Right.
So, all of these opportunitieshave, not even these
opportunities, like thesetragedies you've turned them
into an opportunity more orless, is what it sounds like.
Heidi (07:32):
Yeah.
I think I had no intention ofthat, just so you know.
I was a computer programmer, Iworked with databases, I
extracted data, that was what Idid.
I worked alone with computersand gosh, I hadn't even, I had
just had the baby, just finishedchemotherapy, hadn't even
started radiation yet.
(07:52):
Cause you can't do both whenyou're pregnant.
And my doctor asked me if Iwould consider speaking.
And I said, without question,no, no, I will not do that.
And he's like but, he kind ofsat me down and explained to me
like, this is, this is why thismatters.
In your mind, this is yourstory, and you may, or may not
want to keep it private.
But he said I've dealt withseveral different types of
(08:14):
people over my long andhistoried career.
And there are people that getcancer, and they want to put it
in a box and put it away, andnever tell anyone about it.
He said, and then there's peoplethat get it, and they, it really
does fuel their fire.
They're so angry they have it,they don't know where to place
their energy.
And so, they use it to helpother people.
(08:35):
He said, I could be wrong, but Ithink you're in this other camp.
I think you're in the,"I want tohelp people." And I said, yeah,
but can I do that by likepraying quiet?
And he's like, no, no, yes youcan.
But also, you're going to bespeaking, and just tell your
story because it's not just yourstory.
There's someone who needs tohear it.
There's someone who needs tohear that I'm a doctor that can
(08:57):
help them if they're pregnant,you know what I mean?
Like that has to be done.
There's someone that needs toknow that, that your son is
valuable to you.
There's someone that needs tohear that he's okay.
Someone that needs to hear,gosh, I'm going through it, but
hers is much worse so I can keepgoing.
So, it was really his, and plushe saved my life.
So, what am I going to say?
Really?
No?
So, it was his kind of gentle,nudging, and encouragement that
(09:18):
had me do my very firstterrifying speech.
And then from that, literallyit's just been word of mouth.
I don't advertise, I don't.
People just come to me and askme to speak and share my story.
So, it has been good things havecome from the bad, but it's
certainly by no effort of myown.
Amanda (09:37):
Well, that's it.
I don't even know what to say.
Like your story is so inspiringand I'm just, I don't know, I'm
amazed by what you've done withsuch a hard situation.
Like a lot of people, like yousaid, would put it in a box and
just hold it in and not shareit.
(09:58):
How did you use that energy?
Like how did you harness it?
Heidi (10:04):
Honestly, the fact that I'm not a natural keynote
speaker really helps because Iget wildly sick beforehand,
cause I'm so nervous.
And so, all the energy I have tokind of compress it into,
calming myself down before.
If I were like an actress or itwas very easy for me, it would
probably be very much morestressful for me, quite
(10:27):
honestly.
All of my energy has to focus onthings like, please do not let
me fall when I walk up on stagelike that's what I, that's where
I gotta put everything.
Oh, my goodness.
And then I realized there aredifferent tiers, you know, there
are people that do the walks andruns all over the country to
raise money, and they're reallygood at it.
And their efforts fund researchthat saves lives.
(10:50):
That's, that's not mywheelhouse.
I've done that.
But when you're a mom of four,and your husband is busy, and
you're helping him.
But when you have all of thesethings going on, those types of
walks and runs aren't reallysomething that I can do, and I
wanted to keep working.
And someone asked me, gosh, youknow, have you ever considered
grant reviews?
And I'm like, I don't even knowwhat that means.
(11:10):
And they explained to me thatit's a pool of wonderful people
that sit together and review thegrant requests that come into
places like the American CancerSociety.
And you, as a patient advocate,could chime in and say,"that
sounds great, but also verypainful." Or have we considered
including minority populations?
You have to be the voice of thepatient, and I didn't even know
(11:32):
that that existed.
And when I first went, it wasinvited to be part of the
American Cancer Society grantsreview board.
That was my first taste of that,and it was like a light bulb
went off.
It was so amazing to see all ofthese ideas from around the
world, people submitting ideassaying,"I think that this might
(11:54):
help this particular type ofcancer." If we just try this,
this new technique or this newdrug, and it could be 10 years
off.
But just the idea that someyoung gal, some researcher in
Kansas has this brilliant idea,you know, do we fund her?
Yes, we do.
And so, I was always the onelike, yes, throw all of the
money at them.
But I learned over time, how tocarefully analyze these, you
(12:18):
know, it sounds wonderful, butin reality, is it sustainable?
Is it something that can beexecuted?
Might it already be happeningsomewhere else, you know, could
it even be partnered withanother researcher?
And so, from there I went to theDepartment of Defense, and I'm
on their grants review board aswell.
And that's, that's like the bigleagues, you know, that's an
even bigger step.
(12:38):
The United States Governmentfunds more breast cancer
research than anyone else, whichI find it fascinating.
But they're just brilliantpeople, and so, it's just an
honor to be part of it.
And that really helps focus myenergy as well, cause I'm not a
scientist.
And so, when these grants cometo me, I have to go through them
(13:00):
with a dictionary and Google onboth sides, learning what all
these words mean so that I canproperly present the voice and
say, yes, I understand as muchas I can.
And when I'm there, I'm able toask questions as well, explain
this to me.
So, and I'm able to do all ofthese things.
I have a full-time job.
(13:22):
I work as an executive admin fora great company, here in
Georgia.
And I take all of my vacationdays, every single PTO day, I
have to do these speakingengagements.
So, and I think when you and Ifirst started talking, I
thought, gosh, you know, I don'tmake a lot of money.
(13:42):
So, like I don't know if I'm theright one, but to me, what my
company allows me to do isalmost just as important.
You know, I can say, I'm notgoing to take two solid weeks of
vacation like everybody else,I'm going to take a Friday here,
or a Wednesday here, or aTuesday and a Monday.
And they allow me, not only dothey allow me to do it, but they
encourage me.
(14:03):
My bosses are like, oh, you'regoing to do great, you know,
this is fantastic.
Where are you going this time?
And, you know, they celebratewhat I'm doing.
And I think that is just asimportant as making a ton of
money.
It would be great, you know, tobe able to pay off all my cancer
bills, yes it would.
But it's also great knowing thatI'm supported emotionally and
(14:23):
peripherally by my bosses, thatit really means a lot to me.
Amanda (14:26):
And I think that's a huge piece of it.
We've talked about that a littlebit, kind of that raises and
promotions don't always come inthe form of like monetary
compensation that they, they cancome in flexibility, or they can
come in the fact that if yourkid's sick, you can leave and
it's okay.
Heidi (14:45):
Oh my gosh.
Yes, sometimes we get stuck inthis mindset that that's the
only way to have money.
Yeah.
Like this full and great life isif we hit this certain point,
but sometimes, and I think thatand that was one of the things
in our pre-interview that I wasreally excited about is how
(15:07):
amazing the company you work foris, and how supportive they are,
of what you're doing, becauseyou're helping so many other
people by being able to go andspeak and share your story.
And then I didn't even knowabout the grant writing that's
even more of the grant review, Imean, that's amazing.
And it's kind of the emotionalheart, if you will, the
(15:29):
philanthropic heart of thecompany, and there are other
companies that do this as well,but they're few and far between.
So, when you find them, it's notjust saying,"We really care
about people, and we want toencourage them to do charitable
acts." No, it's more than that.
It's saying, I understand, thatyou work in our warehouse five
(15:49):
days a week, but you have takentime to go help this camp for
children.
You know, I'm just using that asan example, and children with
special needs.
They don't just like talk aboutit and look at it.
They say,"what else can we do tohelp you?" You know, this is
worth celebrating.
And to me, that's crucial if youwork, and you're solely focused
(16:11):
just on financial, there's ahuge part of your life that you
could be missing by not helpingothers.
And I'm not saying everybody hasto go out right now and fund
breast cancer.
If you want to, that's okay too.
Amanda (16:26):
I'll hook you up with Heidi.
Heidi (16:29):
You know, if your grandpa's struggled with
Parkinson's, maybe that shouldbe your charity.
Or, your next-door neighbor girlhas cystic fibrosis, maybe
that's your charity.
Find something to give back, andthen talk about it.
Like, don't just do it in alittle, and I understand
everyone likes their privacy,but what if by sharing with
people, what you did thisweekend, you know, I did help my
(16:52):
neighbor with cystic fibrosis,and here's what we did.
Someone else might say, I nevereven thought about that.
I didn't even know that issomething that's needed in our
community.
Can I help you next time?
Or, I had no idea that gentlemanwith Parkinson's likes the smell
of flowers or really help him,can I help you make a basket?
Like things, if you share whatyou're doing with your heart,
(17:14):
you're inviting others into thatsame space.
And I think that's worth morethan money anytime, every time.
Absolutely.
So, there was one interview withthe Susan G.
Komen foundation you mentionedwhen people are fighting cancer,
they have to talk about it.
You said, reveal yourself.
Is that good advice for theworkplace as well?
(17:34):
We're talking about that alittle bit.
Like you didn't ask to be put ina bad spot, like ask for help
when you need it type situation?
Yes, and I learned that the hardway.
Initially, it was a verydifficult situation, but I
didn't reveal as much as Ishould have, especially about, I
(17:57):
mean, I think the more candidyou can be, it depends on your
situation.
If you were in an environmentwhere you feel like they don't
really care, and you're prettyconfident that they don't care,
that might just be an indicatorthat you might be in the wrong
situation.
But if you feel like you canconfide in someone, and I'm not
saying HR, you know what I'msaying, anyone in the company,
(18:18):
just to let them know, I'm goingthrough this situation, it could
be temporary.
You know, I'm helping my greataunt, who's probably only got a
month to live, let them know,let them know that situation.
But if it's something that'songoing and you don't know, it's
important that you let them knowas well.
Now, if you're not comfortabledoing so, then don't, because it
(18:40):
could obviously be used againstyou.
I mean, it is not uncommon forpeople with cancer, specifically
to be fired, to be mistreated atwork, and that's an entirely
horrible topic.
Amanda (18:54):
I had no idea.
I didn't even know.
Heidi (18:56):
It is unbelievable the harassment that occurs in places
that you wouldn't even expect,is shocking.
But that's how I noted tocherish environments that are
the opposite of that.
And, and it's not just, I'mgoing through this situation, by
opening up to people that youtrust, they might be able to
say, Hey, you don't know this,but in a month or two,
(19:18):
financially, you're going to bein a really hard place because
I've been there and here's whathappened.
Or, don't do this withinsurance, go this path, the
more you open up, the more youcan learn, everything is a
learning experience.
You're not asking for help asmuch as you're looking for an
education.
Like in our situation, we had noidea, my husband and I, we had
(19:41):
been fastidious.
We're very good, very cautious,and conservative of our money.
And then when I got cancer, thebills started to roll in that
you can't even imagine$300,000bills, things like that.
It was crazy, and we didn't knowwhat we were doing.
And so, we said, how are wegoing to pay these bills?
We got credit cards and maxedthem out, paying off cancer
bills.
We shouldn't if we didn't knowthat we could go to the hospital
(20:02):
and talk to them about this orthat insurance, you don't pay
first, insurance pays for it.
Like we didn't know any of that,and those tools aren't available
to people, but if you'recomfortable enough to talk to
someone at work, it doesn't evenhave to be the same situation.
It could be someone that hadjust gone to the hospital for a
stroke or something like that.
They could say, listen, I havethe same insurance as you,
(20:23):
here's what you need to do, andthat is valuable as well.
If you have someone at workthat's very valuable as well.
It's not like getting a raise,but it certainly is financial
acumen.
The education that you need todeal with any sort of crisis is
wonderful, and if you can getthat at work again, that's just
(20:43):
as good as a raise in somecases.
Amanda (20:45):
Yeah, you had mentioned a little bit too, about your
current position, their healthinsurance.
That, that was one of the drawsas well.
Sure.
I don't think that we reallytalked about that earlier, but
one of the questions that Iwanted to ask, is obviously
you're a really great speakerspeaking at Google and Ford as a
(21:06):
patient advocate.
You're part of care teams with alot of big personalities.
What advice can you give usabout being confident and clear
about what you need at work?
Heidi (21:20):
I think everyone knows the waters that they're swimming
in at work.
And if they don't, I'm hesitantbecause I've had so many friends
in the cancer community like Isaid, be completely mistreated
at work, you know, completelymaligned and treated poorly, but
then I've seen the oppositepeople being embraced.
(21:41):
I think it's each individualperson needs to assess the
situation that they're in.
If you are comfortable, if youfeel like you can trust the
people at work, then do share.
You'll know by looking in theirfaces when you've said it too
many times, or when you'vecrossed a line, or if someone is
(22:01):
disconnecting.
But it might be theiropportunity to learn from you as
well.
Like, I didn't know you had totravel?
I have airline miles; can I helpyou get there to your treatment?
Things like that, if you do itwithout asking for help, but
just kind of letting them know,just be as candid as possible.
(22:21):
You know, I'm struggling withmaking meals every Friday, cause
that's when the chemo kicks in,you know, just being as candid
as possible to see.
Cause you never know, peoplemight surprise you, being
willing to help or offer youadvice and tips and not, not
advice about your situation.
Not like, Oh, you know, myaunt's sister has imported some
(22:43):
mold from Mexico to help withcancer.
That's not what I mean.
No, no, no.
Amanda (22:48):
Does that happen too?
Heidi (22:49):
Oh, all the time.
Well, you know, if you had onlybeen eating vegan and I'm like,
oh, come on, come on.
No, not that type of advice, butI mean the, literally I just
went through this.
Did you know that there's thisthing you could do with our
insurance company?
Did you know that there's apsychologist available at no
cost on our insurance, thingslike that to help you
(23:11):
emotionally go through things?
If you don't know what'savailable, then it's, it's
incumbent on others.
I think to help you to learnwhat's available to me, how can
I make it through thissituation?
Amanda (23:23):
What are some things that you feel like have helped
you make it through thesesituations?
Heidi (23:28):
I'm a person who believes vehemently that I have a God who
loves me.
And I know that means a lot ofdifferent things to a lot of
different people.
I mean, my personal situationis, I like that guy in the Bible
that helped everybody all thetime and wasn't really mean.
(23:50):
That's what I'm going for, thenot mean guy, he's the one I
like.
And so that's kind of where Ifind a lot of strength, knowing
that no matter how many times Ifall, I will always be loved.
But then I also see that bysharing my story and by reaching
out to others, I see that littlespark in their eye that I think
(24:11):
my doctor must've seen when hetold me, yeah, it's gonna be
really hard, but you might makeit.
Just being able to share withsomeone, you know, look for a
doctor that will help you,giving advice for people that
didn't know.
That really helps me, helpingothers has helped me more than
almost anything else.
Saying things like, oh my gosh,do you know that there's a,
(24:31):
there's a group called the pinkfund in Michigan and they'll
help you pay your bills whileyou're going through chemo?
People light up, they have noidea that there are entities out
there that really just want tohelp them.
And when I can share thatinformation, it's incandescent.
It really is wonderful.
And that helps me, by giving toothers, it helps my heart
(24:53):
enormously.
Amanda (24:54):
Yeah.
Well, I know you have four kids,right?
So, it's probably a littlechaotic at home?
I'm just wondering like how haveyou balanced it all?
How do you, you said God, and Ibelieve in that too.
(25:16):
It just, it seems like so much,like I'm sure at times it was
really heavy.
Heidi (25:23):
Oh my, yes, and, dark.
I mean, there were times when Idid not think that I would live.
And so, I always go forth kindof thinking if that happens,
what are you going to do?
Cause having lost my mom, youknow, when I just started
college, I know what it's likenot to have a mom there when you
(25:44):
get married, and when you havebabies, and when you have
questions.
And so, I know what that absenceis like.
And so, I immediately went intowork mode, which is, the fight
or flight situation.
Mine is scrub the floors, likeif you're panicking, here's what
you need to do.
And so, for me, I did thingslike, I assumed I was going to
(26:05):
die, which is probably horrible,but there it is.
I sing to my children.
I used to sing to them at nightall the time.
And so, I recorded each one ofthem, a little CD with me
singing their favorite songs.
Because if I'm not there fiveyears later, I want them to
still have some sort of, cause Ihave no recording of my mom.
And so, I miss that terribly,and I wanted to make sure that
(26:25):
they had that.
So, I did make all these littleCDs for the girls.
And then I had my son, I madeone for him.
And then like, I'm still living,but the kids, I gave them to the
children because I started totravel a lot to speak.
And so, they started to call ittheir bed night music to go to
sleep because I wasn't dead, butI also wasn't there.
(26:48):
So, when I would travel, theywould listen to this music.
So, I've never excluded them.
I've always included them inconversations.
If I go to a speakingengagement, that's local, I'll
take them with me.
You know, you're going to comelisten to mom.
And even if you're a baby,especially when Noah, my son's
name is Noah.
When he was born, everyonewanted him to come to be at the
(27:13):
event so they could see like theface of hope.
That's what they wanted to see.
So, I dragged that baby acrossthis country to so many
different speaking engagements.
And at one point, it was a hugeevent, I think there were
probably 8,000 women.
It was a big, it was an arena,and afterward and he has white
hair, he's very, very blonde.
(27:33):
And at the end, there were somany grandmas that had kissed
him, the lipstick on the top ofhis head was so bad.
And he said I don't want to dothis anymore.
So, I promised him, he no longerhas to do that, but I try to
make sure that I didn't havelike this volunteer work that I
do over here.
And then my family and workedover here.
(27:54):
To me, if it's not altogether,then it's not true.
You know, I wanted them to knowit's important to do
philanthropic things.
It's important to give yourheart to something, find that
thing.
If it's not cancer, please, Ihope it's not cancer.
I hope it's the environment.
I hope it's something else thatyou care about enough to get
involved and be willing todonate so much time to.
(28:14):
So, they've always known thatgrowing up, they've always been
around this environment of doingthis work to help other people.
I forget we were walking in aforest one time; we were taking
a hike, we love taking hikes.
And I was in front of the kidsand they didn't know that I
heard them, but they werewalking around, and my son said,
(28:35):
oh my gosh, look at that tree,it's so deformed.
And they all stopped, and hesaid, it looks like it has a
tumor.
And my daughter said, don't tellmom, she'll get it some kind of
support group.
Well, they know all thelanguage, they know the words.
And they're also like, whatever.
Amanda (28:52):
That's awesome.
I love that.
Well, and they've seen you, justthis like beacon of hope, and
truth, and service.
And just being out there, it'ssuch an amazing, like role model
for your kids.
I'm really impressed.
Heidi (29:08):
It's very light, it's very lighthearted for them
because I mean, this is a veryserious topic, but they've heard
me, they've heard me share mystory so many times.
And I actually asked my youngestdaughter's name is Bella, and
when she was like eight, I askedher not to consider coming with
me anymore because she wouldlip-sync me up there.
And then at the point where likeeveryone would be crying.
(29:29):
She'd be like this,"mmmm" in thefront row.
And she's like, no, I want tokeep coming so I can get the
little, the little hot dogs atall these events.
I'm like, no little hot dogs.
That's all, it's like going tofancy events.
(29:50):
They just don't wanna hear momtalk the whole time.
Amanda (29:52):
And they want the good food and the swimming pool at
the hotel, right?
Heidi (30:00):
They like to travel.
They just don't like the boringpart.
Amanda (30:04):
And all right, well, we're getting ready to close.
And so, I have just kind of likeone more question, I think.
And I'm just wondering ifsomebody finds herself in like a
situation where they feelhopeless, what is something that
you would, you would tell them?
Heidi (30:28):
I would tell them to look for the little things.
Someone just asked me speakthis, a major corporation had me
speak to their all-handsmeeting.
And there was a young gentlemanwho said exactly that, it was
just the beginning of COVID, andhe said, I feel so helpless and
hopeless and alone.
And like, what do I have to livefor?
(30:48):
That's exactly what he said.
And I said, tell me about yourday?
Tell me about this morning?
Cause this was like a newpresentation that I was giving.
And he said, well, same thing asevery day, you know, I got up, I
don't know, I had some coffee.
I said, no, no, you got up, andthen what?
He said, what do you mean?
I said, literally walk methrough.
He said, well, I got up and Itook a shower.
I said you got up out of a bed,correct?
(31:11):
And he said, yeah.
I said, in a safe environmentwith clean sheets in an
air-conditioned room.
And he said, yeah, I said, andthen did you take a shower?
He said, well, yeah, of course.
I said, out of potable water,water that you could have quite
conceivably had a drink fromcoming out the shower, it was so
clean?
You had soap, you had a towel,you had everything you needed?
(31:33):
You have more than 90% of theworld and you haven't even left
your bedroom yet.
By stopping for just a moment tolook at the incredible bounty
around us.
The fact that you got out of bedand you're healthy, then you're
able to put your shoes onwithout any help or assistance.
(31:56):
That you're able to stand upwithout crutches.
That you're able to brush yourteeth because you have teeth,
that you have a toothbrush.
These are so many things thateveryone takes advantage, takes
for granted here in the USbecause they don't realize, or
they forget that we're soincredibly blessed here.
And, I kind of have come to hatethat word because people use it
(32:19):
for so many things, but reallythere's bounty all around us,
and there's love all around us,and there's hope all around us.
But if we're so focused on justgetting through the day, we're
going to miss it, it could bejust a little flower
accidentally growing in a crackon the sidewalk.
But if you're so busy walking byit, you're not going to notice
it.
Just stop for a minute, stop,and realize that your happiness
(32:44):
should not be tied to yourhealth or your financial
success.
It should be tied on what yourheart truly tells you to do.
So, look for the little things,stop for just a moment and look
for something very small.
And then you might be able tosee the very, very large gifts
that are around you as well.
Amanda (33:00):
That's amazing.
Thank you so much.
Oh my gosh, this has beenawesome.
Can you tell me where people canconnect with you if they want
to?
What's the best way to connect?
Heidi (33:11):
I'm on all sorts of social media.
LinkedIn is the best avenue forprofessional and speaking.
I do have a Heidi Floyd,"FollowHeidi" is my Facebook for
speaking engagements.
I'm pretty active on Twitter aswell, mostly because there's a
great cancer community out thereand we will frequently shoot
each other questions and answersand just support.
So I use each platform fordifferent things, but you just,
(33:36):
just look for me and you canfind me basically on any social
media.
I'm happy to connect with peoplefrom around the world.
Just anything that I can do tohelp.
I'd love to.
Amanda (33:45):
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much, Heidi,for being on the show.
This has been incredible and youhave provided so much insight.
I'm really excited for everybodyto listen to this.
Heidi (33:56):
Well, thank you very much.
It's an honor to be with you.
Amanda (33:58):
Yeah.
All right.
Well, I will talk to you soon.
Heidi (34:01):
Okay.
Thank you.
Amanda (34:02):
Bye.
Outtro (34:07):
Thanks for listening to the Raise Up Podcast.
If you want to raise, head towww.raiseuppodcast.com and
download our step by steproadmap where we've taken all
the expert advice we'vecollected and put it into a
simple PDF ebook called youguessed it, How to ask for a
raise.
Before you join us again, makesure to subscribe, share it with
(34:27):
your friends.
You can click the share button,take a screenshot and share it
on your social stories and tag@AmandaLeFever, see you again
soon.
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