Back to School Special: How to Start the Next Sports Season Strong (Tips From Sports Moms)

Does your daughter ever come home from a game second-guessing herself… or even in tears after a tough play? Wish you had a game plan for helping her bounce back stronger and actually love the sport again—even when things don’t go perfectly? This episode is the boost every sports parent needs, packed with honest stories, hands-on tips, and the real talk that rarely makes it onto the sidelines.

In this episode, you’ll discover: 

• How real moms are helping their girls conquer nerves, shake off mistakes, and find their confidence, even after rough games or tough coaching feedback.
• The simple yet powerful strategies that actually work: from pre-game breathing routines and visualization to “snapback” rituals for mistake recovery.
• What to do when “work on your attitude” just isn’t enough and how parents are filling the gaps coaches can’t always reach.
• How making mental skills part of everyday family life transforms not just one athlete, but siblings (and sometimes parents!) too.
• Inspiring and relatable stories, messy moments, honest emotions, and small family wins matter most on the journey to resilience.
• Tips for celebrating progress, talking about tough games, and connecting with a supportive community of parents walking the same path.

Don’t miss out! If you’re ready for real-life advice and a few “that’s so us!” moments, plus new tools you can try this week, hit play on the full episode. Join the conversation and discover how to help your athlete build confidence that lasts all season long.

Episode Highlights: 

[06:45] Mental Challenges Young Athletes Face. Discussion about nerves, pressure from coaches, and difficulty bouncing back after mistakes. Highlights the gap in mental skills training in many youth sports programs.

[11:00] What Sparked Moms to Join the Program. Moms describe spotting struggles like anxiety, self-doubt, and harsh coaching feedback. They explain how generic advice wasn’t enough, leading them to seek mental training tools tailored for their daughters.

[22:30] Integrating Mental Skills into Family Life. Panel discusses how mental tools influence siblings and parents too, creating a supportive environment where resilience and positive mindset become family habits.

[34:00] Invitation to The Elite Mental Game Program. Encouragement to incorporate mental training this season and details about current program offerings and discounts for families interested in deeper support.

[58:40] Q&A: Parents Ask About Habit-Building. Discussion about how to encourage consistent mental skill practice without making it feel like a chore, emphasizing small daily habits and family involvement.

Next Steps:

• Join our FREE Training for Sports Moms - How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter's Mental Game so She Believes in Herself as Much as You Do
• Visit our podcast website for more great episodes

Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission and leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome back to the reasoningand the competitor's podcast.
I'm coach Bre, a mentalperformance coach for girl
athletes.
And I'm so excited that you'rehere, whether you are just
getting, going on your sportsjourney, or maybe you have a lot
of seasons under your belt.
This podcast is for you to help,you know, how to raise a
confident, mentally strong girlathlete.
That's exactly what we do hereat the elite competitor, through
our podcasts, through oursignature program, the elite

(00:20):
mental game this episode is aspecial one.
We recently had some moms whoare going through or have been
through our signature mentaltraining program for girl
athletes called the elite mentalgame.
And they came into our communityand we're just sharing tips and
strategies.
What was working real time withtheir athletes when it came to
building their confidence.

(00:41):
We're talking pre-game and thecar ride.
Post game, that car ride home aswell.
And everything in between andthe things that their athletes
are facing in their sports Iknow for me, it's just helpful
to hear from people who are in asimilar stage that I am in and
experiencing similar things.
So you get the special treatof..
Hearing what these moms aregoing through when it comes to

(01:02):
their sports journeys, I'm sureyou're going to resonate a lot
with them and then pick up somenuggets that you can apply to
your athlete's journey as well.
Now, before we get into theepisode, I do want to give a
shout out to a mom who is insideour community right now, who
just posted something prettycool.
I'm going to share it all withyou.
So her name's Jennifer, shesaid.
At lacrosse summer league gamethis week, my daughter sat in
the car so nervous.
We did breathing andvisualization together.

(01:25):
I gave her affirmations to trusther training.
She was doing preparatorysnapback routine before she went
out there.
Went right into the game.
And the first plate, shereceived a pass and went for
goal, which by the way, she'snever this aggressive and
scored.
This has been a game changer forher to have tools she can
control.
She was so chatty after thegame.
I love it.
All right.

(01:45):
Super excited.
I got goosebumps reading thatto, because first of all, I know
a lot of you have athletes whoare similar boats where they're
getting super nervous beforethey compete.
Maybe they're getting irritable.
First of all, that's normal.
It's very normal for athletes tobe nervous before they compete.
And we all know that, right.
But the issue is that not allathletes actually have tools to
handle that nervousness.

(02:05):
So.
They then internalize that asbad.
Like it's bad for me to feelnervous.
I shouldn't be feeling this, butI don't know what to do with it.
So the fact that both Jenniferand her daughter had tools to
navigate this with breathingvisualization had their
affirmations daughter went inwith her snapback routine, which
is our failure recovery methodthat we teach athletes.
So that they feel confidentgoing into competitions.
And they were able to not onlyuse them, but transfer them to

(02:29):
the field.
So pretty awesome.
I love to hear this and can'twait to hear how things continue
to go in the program, Jennifer.
All right.
I'm excited for you to hear fromthese moms.
One last thing I'll leave youwith is right now, if you're
listening to this at the time ofrecording, we are in this back
to school time, people are goingback to their sports, getting
back into school.
And so we are running a back toschool special.

(02:52):
On the elite mental game.
So if you go to elitecompetitor.com forward slash E M
G there's a pricing discount.
On the program right now forthis back to school season that
we're in.
So you can prepare your athletewith the skills that she needs
to be mentally strong andconfident going into her season.
So.
I will leave the link for thatinside the show notes, but elite

(03:14):
competitor.com forward slash EMGis where you can find that
discounted leak.
All right.
Enjoy the episode.
We have some special guests withus.
So we've got Grace, Kristen,Miranda, and Angela.
They are sports moms who areinside the elite mental game.
So they are either just joined,are going through.
They're here to share theirperspective.

(03:35):
We are hearing their tips fromhow they're doing it.
What's working, what's notworking.
And also, we have someopportunity.
to ask some questions of myselfand of the sports moms.
I'm going to have us hear fromsports moms.
Just introducing yourself name,how many athletes you have and
what sports they play and theirage.

(03:57):
Okay.
So let's see.
Kristen, you're first on myscreen.
Hello, I'm Kristen.
I am the mom of a 13 year oldvolleyball player, Lila.
Grace, you're next.
Hi, everyone.
I'm a mom of four, and I havethree daughters who all play
volleyball, and my youngest oneis five years old, and he wants

(04:18):
to do everything right now.
So I have a, an eighth grader,fifth grader, and a third grader
right now.
And then my preschooler.
Yeah, 8th grade, 5th grade,okay.
Yes, you got like the whole agerange.
Yes.
I love it.
Yeah.
Okay Miranda.
Hey, I'm Miranda.
I have a 12 year old daughter involleyball.

(04:39):
I do have a 2 year old becausewe're crazy and we started over.
But and she's already just likeGrace.
She's watching her big sisterand so she's out there wanting
to do all the things.
So I'm like, oh man, thanks.
Goodness.
I found this because we're goingto have round two with her too.
But currently a 12 year oldfirst year middle school.
Okay.
Awesome.
Yeah.
You're going to be like all setup for the two year old.

(04:59):
That's great.
Angela, can you hear me?
Yeah, you sound good.
Okay.
looks like we have a lot ofvolleyball moms because I'm a
volleyball daughter and she's 14and she did track this second
year.
So that kind of blended the twosports, but I wish I would have
had this for my other two kids,but she's getting all of it, so
I'm just loving it.

(05:20):
Yeah, oh, that's great.
Yeah, that must, that was acoincidence.
Oh yeah, so Kristen also has a16 year old son who's a boxer
and low key working on theprogram too.
Oh, can you tell us about that?
How is that going?
So we get that question a lot,like can boys join, all that.
It's mostly through osmosis likeLila and I will be talking about
stuff or we'll sit down with himlike here's the thing we're
working on right now and here'show it relates to you and so

(05:42):
like we started with him with asnapback and he has like seconds
right when you're unboxing thesnapback if you've made a
mistake and so he's taking thethings that we're doing step by
step and then trying to apply itto what he's been doing.
Yeah.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah.
We always say like thestrategies apply to boys.
The experience of the program,as you can see we're geared
towards girl athletes.
So we have like girl athleteimagery throughout.

(06:04):
So some boys are like, is thisfor girls and get turned off by
it.
But all the visualizations havegender neutral pronouns.
And so he's, it wouldn't belike, imagine that she's, yeah,
in the box, so we can relatewith it.
So it kind of just depends thekid, but yeah, that's good to
know that he's doing it.
Okay.
First question is basically likewhat interested you in joining

(06:28):
the elite mental game in thefirst place?
What were you seeing with yourdaughter?
What was going on?
Yeah, that kind of sparked theinterest in this.
So Kristen, we'll have you I'llhave you start.
So I went from watching mydaughter love her sport to
watching her really literallycurl inward when she would make
a mistake.
I could see it happening in herwhole, backward curl and, tears

(06:51):
in the car and we moved to a newclub and she made the ones team
and so then the pressure wasreally high and had
conversations with her coachabout like she needs to work on
her attitude was the word thatwas used a lot and I agreed and
I felt like I Didn't know how tohelp her.
And so I you know, asked thetrainer, can you work on mental
toughness?
And, asked different privatecoaches, do you do any work with

(07:13):
attitude?
And I was using the wronglanguage.
And frankly, most people don'tknow how to do this work.
And so I train adults for aliving and was like, there's got
to be people, there's got to becommunity online, I'm going to
find help for this found coachBree started listening to the
podcast and sat in on a sessionand felt like if I was going to
invest.
Everything that we're investingtime and money into making her a

(07:35):
better athlete.
I needed to invest the same inher mental health because I
couldn't do another five toeight years of this the way we
were going.
And it started working for usovernight.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
I can't wait to hear like theother side of that, but that's
amazing.
I like that you brought up, thisis a common thing that a lot of
athletes and moms are in thatthey're like, yeah, I'm hearing
feedback from the coach.

(07:56):
That's she needs to work on her,whether that's attitude.
Her mindset, her confidence.
I like that you were like, theydon't really know the word.
And we're trying to figure outtoo what do people call this?
Mental toughness and as a mom,you're like can you teach her
that, and most, yeah.
Like, Is that part of your job?
And yes, coaches wear a ton ofhats, but really most coaches
are not trained in how to dothat.
And they specialize in like thephysical part of the game.

(08:19):
And so expecting them to do it,it's just, it's like almost
frustrating because you're like,eh.
And I will add for you that theway that I finally started
thinking about it was they'retelling my daughter to bake a
pie, but she doesn't know how tobake a pie.
And I'm looking at her andsaying just bake a pie.
And we need to go to the bakery.
We need to find the people whounderstand and to break these
steps down.
It's not enough just to say, fixyour attitude.

(08:39):
That doesn't ever work.
And it doesn't work in thisworld.
Oh yeah.
That's a great.
That's a perfect analogy.
Right.
And like, just be confident, fixyour attitude.
You know, It just doesn't, itdoesn't work.
Yeah.
She doesn't have the ingredientsto put that together.
Grace, how about you?
So what interested me in EMG wasone, just because my two oldest

(09:00):
daughters play on competitiveclub volleyball teams as well.
But my husband and I coachmiddle school volleyball.
And At our children's school,and so we can just see so many
of our athletes, our team juststart breaking down after
mistakes.
And it was like, no matter howmany times I said, shake off
your mistakes, you're going tobe just fine.

(09:21):
Focus on the next play.
Get down and ready.
I could see at this age, weteach 5th through 8th graders.
At this age, just like the othermom said they don't have the
tools to know how to shake off amistake and how to bounce back.
So then my husband and Irealized, oh we don't know the
step by step instructions on howto do it.

(09:42):
So that's when we startedresearching more sports
psychology and what mentaltoughness was, and then how do
we bring this back not only toour team, but to our own
daughters as well.
Yeah, I love that.
Okay.
There's another term to sportspsychology.
Yeah.
Are you using it with your team?
Have you tried some of thesethings with your team yet?
We found you after our seasonended.

(10:03):
But during this season we hadwhat we called mental toughness
Mondays.
Because at the start of thisseason, we actually brought in 1
of our local college basketballcoaches to talk to us about a
couple of things.
And so he, the 2 topics he hadaddressed with our program was
self talk and using smart goals.

(10:24):
And so basically on Mondays, wewould take 30 minutes of our
practice and try to implementwhat he taught us, but we saw
that he had just a huge list ofdifferent topics that we were
like, Oh, we need to know thisand this and this, but we loved
how you had a total program thatwas just so beautifully packaged
that was just nicely puttogether for girls and moms.

(10:48):
Yeah, that's great.
Yeah, for sure.
It's like, there's no need to goout and like piece all these
things together.
Like we just provide a roadmapthat's proven for athletes, for
moms as well.
We got the support.
So yeah, for sure.
Okay, Miranda, how about you?
What were you noticing and whatinterests you?
So I have played volleyball mywhole life and have coached but

(11:10):
at a higher level.
And so my kiddo has followed methrough like she was in my belly
when I was a kid.
On the court, coach andvolleyball.
And then a week after she cameout, she's, you know, had a
little volleyball in her hand.
And so honestly, I never reallythought about it.
And then we hit middle schoolsimilar to Kristen's story of
all of a sudden I start seeingthis kiddo that loves life,

(11:30):
loves very social.
But definitely has always wantedto please other people.
And it's already very hard onherself when she gets, you know,
as a parent, I've noticed I haveto make sure that when something
comes up, with chores or at homeor whatever, because she's
human, right?
She's learning that I come toher with a lot of grace and a

(11:53):
lot of empathy and the way wetalk about things, right?
Because when she feels you'redisappointed in her, it really
hits her hard.
And a lot of the self talk thatshe does from a very young age
is just really hard on herself.
And so I've learned that as aparent, but I didn't really
think about it in sports.
I, if that.
I just was like, whatever, thisis more of an outlet for her
right to just get out and besocial and play and enjoy the

(12:15):
sport.
And so fast forward, when we getto middle school this year She
has the same coach that she hadlast year, but she is very hard.
And my, my kiddo is reallypretty good at volleyball.
And this year she started tolook a little bit different on
the court.
Second, guess herself littlestutter steps, things like that.
And she'd look instantly at hercoach.

(12:37):
Coach would give feedback thatwasn't the best, maybe some eye
rolling, turning her back oractually yelling at her on the
court.
Yeah, as a mom, I'm like, whatare you doing to my baby?
Right.
But I was like, she's nothurting her.
It's just it kind of hurts herspirit a little bit.
So I had to sit back and say,how am I going to handle this?
And then it all came to a head.
She was at a tournament and gotyelled at, embarrassed on the

(13:00):
court.
Instantly came running to meafterwards and just was bawling.
I don't want to play anymore,which was big and my husband and
I were like, what are we goingto do?
And thankfully our phones werelistening to us and I was
scrolling, I believe onInstagram or something.
And I saw, the program on thereand I'm like, what's this?
Instantly signed up for thecall, was bawling through the

(13:22):
whole thing.
Happy tears because I'm like,thank goodness.
This is exactly what I need as aparent.
This is what I need as a coach,but this is what my kiddo needs.
I didn't really realize thatconfidence needed to be you.
coached and taught.
I thought maybe she just doesn'thave that.
Maybe, we need to shift intosomething else.
And so it was such a godsend.

(13:43):
And so ever since then, I showedit to Micah and she's like, I
think that's what we need, mom.
I said, yeah, we do.
We signed up and we've beenhitting it hard ever since.
Yeah.
Oh, that made me tear up.
That's such a good story.
I resonate with that too.
I know we have some coaches aswell.
Like same thing.
My daughter was in the ball cartwhen she was three months old
and I know when she gets to theage and she's getting there

(14:06):
also, I don't think I can be theone to train her in this, like
I'm going to be looking for, youknow, we've got all the things.
It's just, it comes a littledifferent.
As a parent, you were like, Iknow what to do.
I've been coaching and all ofthis.
And then for some reason it'slike, oh, wait, it's a little
different when it's your ownkid.
So yeah Great story.
Okay.
Angela, I'd love to hear fromyou.
What was your experience?
Pretty similar frustrated.

(14:27):
We had so many frustratedconversations like after a game
and this year was especiallydisappointing.
I was just like Googling, like,how do I talk to my daughter
because I felt like I wasmessing her up by not saying the
right thing.
And so like Miranda, my phonewas listening and you popped up.

(14:48):
I think it was on Instagram.
And so I started doing some, Istarted jumping in on some of
the calls and started listeningto things.
I'm like I've got to try this.
And it was amazing because itreally taught me how to navigate
disappointment because I think Iwas the parent, maybe the
helicopter parent where I wantedto go in and try to.
Like really oversee everything.

(15:08):
It was more of my approach andthen sometimes I felt like I was
that, I think you called it thelawn mower parent.
And so now I'm really trying tobe that river guy that you
talked about.
Like when she needs it and myapproach is right, I've seen
some really good evidence ofthis working.
Now this was probably the mostdisappointing season.

(15:30):
in a week.
Ever had literally, I think welost and we're on a high level
team, but we moved into thepremier category for the first
time, and honestly, I don'tthink we were prepared and our
girls mentally were notprepared.
And so we lost every game.
I literally think we, and I wasabout to lose my mind because I

(15:52):
could see so much disappointmenton her face.
And it was so timely because Iwas able to have a conversation
with her, but to help build theconfidence as we were
experiencing disappointmentafter disappointment.
And thankfully that season isclosed and we're moving on to
like school season withvolleyball.
And so I told Claire, I waslike, I think we're probably

(16:13):
gonna try to rewalk some ofthese things so we can apply
these.
Hopefully in a betterenvironment, so it was
definitely God sent.
Yeah.
Oh, I love hearing that.
And that's tough.
Those seasons are like, becausethe outcomes are so tied to like
how athletes feel aboutthemselves and that's their
measure of success, if theydon't have another way to see

(16:34):
that through a different lens oras a parent know how to like,
okay, here we are again in thecar ride after another loss, it
can be like, Really exhausting.
And we're like, what are wedoing here?
We'll say for those as she'sgoing to her off season, you
guys should jump back in there.
We restructured the program alittle bit.
And there's now an off seasontraining plan.
So she can get going with that.
Okay.
Kristen, I'm going to circleback up to you.

(16:55):
You kind of gave us acliffhanger um, with the, the,
the night and day difference orsomething like that.
So I would love to hear, whatare you noticing in your
daughter now?
What are some of the key thingsthat you've noticed that have
changed?
I mean, Literally everything,but I want to say behavior
change always, I think you saidthis in an early podcast, when
you're trying to help your kid.

(17:17):
Get through their toddler years,whatever, behavior change always
starts with you, right?
And the biggest changes for meare how I'm prepared to handle
situations and I'm ready forthem with her.
It started with her snapbackroutine, which is less than one,
a brilliant strategy on yourpart because she was hooked
because it worked.
She is using positive self talkall the time.

(17:39):
Once she really got into theprogram, she saw how her face
and her teammates faces andtheir body language.
And she saw the immediate impactit had on what was happening on
the court.
And she's become really, Ithink, a leader in lifting
people up out of that space.
And just, I think focusing oneffort and not outcome has been

(18:01):
A huge thing.
And we had silent treatment andshe would, cry and I would know
I'd said the wrong thing, but Ididn't know what to say.
And just like I said before, andI think a lot of you, I can't do
this for so many years.
And we both made these shiftstogether and we still make
mistakes.
It's been very gradualthroughout this season.
We still have two tournaments,two nationals tournaments left,

(18:22):
but I feel like she is going tobe able to use these skills for
the rest of her life.
And that has been an excitingthing to see.
And she uses them on me.
She uses mindset stuff on mewhen I'm in the wrong mindset.
And so I feel like we're bothdifferent people.
And when you texted me, Bree andasked me if I wanted to be part
of this panel, I was like, Iliterally talk about it all the
time, especially to women whohave daughters in sports,

(18:45):
because.
That like we're missing eachother and we're trying to help
them and we're messing it up andwe're making it worse.
And anybody who wants to,ultimately this is about having
a great relationship with yourdaughter and that building that
bond down the road and I thinkshe's changed immensely.
And that's the icing on the cakefor us at the last tournament
where her team did get a bid tonationals in Dallas.

(19:06):
Which was exciting enough, butbefore that happened, her coach
pulled her aside and said, Iwant you to know, I see the
changes you've made in yourmindset.
I can see your demeanor haschanged on the court and I want
you to hear it from me that Isee it.
And that was everything to her.
Yeah.
Oh, kudos to that coach too fornoticing.
Okay.
I like.
She just makes me tear up onthese calls.
But that's so awesome becauseyou're right like, two big

(19:29):
things you hit on like, theseskills aren't just for her
sport, you know?
This is, yeah, we love the sportwe love that our kids are
passionate about something, butReally, it's just the vehicle.
It's the easiest way where theycan see change, but then it goes
other places.
And then what's more importantthan your relationship.
And for some of us, it's likethe sport has made the
relationship worse.
You know, Sometimes before welearn a different approach, it's

(19:50):
like, like you said, how longcan we do this?
This is making our relationshipworse.
So I love that there's been aturnaround there.
Thanks for sharing.
Grace, what did you start tonotice?
Even little things.
I know we chatted about like,oh, we're still kind of in it,
but yeah, you'll be in itforever, by the way.
Yeah, absolutely.
Well with my fifth grader, soshe is like the most petite

(20:13):
thing.
At any tournament.
And so for her snap backroutine, her like key phrases,
surprise them.
And yeah.
And so in her mind, she's like,I'm going to go out there and
I'm going to surprise them.
And I can see in practices toher routine is.
She thinks in her head, her keyphrase, surprise them.
And she shakes out her hands andthen she gets back in ready

(20:35):
position.
And so there's just thisnewfound confidence in her.
There are times where shestruggles, like she got teary
eyed at regionals and was likemom they want me to change out
of my libero Jersey and.
Put me in as DS instead.
And I was like trying to talkher through don't think of this
as you're losing playing time.
Your coach is restrategizing howto best utilize you for defense

(20:59):
against this next team, and soher ability to get out of her
negative self talk and to zoomout to look at a greater team
picture, I think has reallygrown in her as a fifth grader,
and then as far as like myeighth grader goes.
This was definitely her hardestseason yet.

(21:20):
So this is our third season inclub and I feel like every
single negative thing that couldpossibly happen, happened she's
got a really tough coach whosecoaching style does not work
well with her.
So she's just had to learn.
How to receive the coaching forthe technique and skills, but
zone out the tone of voice, zoneout the facial expressions but

(21:43):
still apply what he's trying toteach her.
There's been, there was a lot oflack of team unity this year.
There wasn't a strong emphasisin with this particular coach to
do team building.
And so I feel like there werejust never really close ties
brought onto the team.
And so she's had to learn how tonavigate staying out of team

(22:04):
drama and focusing on the thingsthat she can control herself.
My 8th grader also quickly puttogether assembling a playlist
that she listens to on the wayto tournaments and does her
visualizations.
And so she'll get her musicpumping.
And then the next thing I know,on the car ride to tournaments,
I look over and her eyes areclosed and I'm like, Oh, she's

(22:26):
going through hervisualizations.
So there's just a lot of thingsjust quickly in my girls that
they started applying, they lovethe rewards.
They love getting those.
And then I think for me, thisprogram really humbled me.
As like a mom and a coach,right?
Like I'm a young coach.
I'm learning a lot right now.

(22:47):
This is just my third season.
And so recognizing I got to takeoff my coaching hat 24, seven
and go back to being a mom to mykids.
And so learning how to separatethose two different roles was
big for me.
And just humbling myself to mykids and saying, listen, I don't
know how to be the best mom toteenagers.

(23:11):
But I want to learn and I'mwilling to learn with you guys.
And so tell me what you needfrom me.
Let me know what is helping youfrom coach Bree and her team so
that I can do the same things toencourage you.
And I would say most of thetimes they just need me to
listen and just to hold them.
And not even say anything.

(23:33):
So those are what we've beenlearning in our family.
Oh, that's really great.
Yeah, we have a whole kind ofsection in for moms that are
coaches.
Miranda.
I know you'll relate with this.
I think a little bit because itis a hard line to walk.
And.
Yeah.
Kind of Just getting back to themom role is key.
Thank you for sharing.
That was really, really great.
Okay.

(23:53):
Miranda, what did you start tonotice?
So for me it felt almost stupidsimple, right?
Like the things that I neededto, like things that you can say
to support you.
And I'm like, duh, why haven'tI?
So I had to work on my own self,you know, negative self talk.
I'm like, you didn't ruin yourkid.
You got this, it's okay.
And so that was my first thingof like, I instantly could see
how my being a better support tomy kiddo can transfer into her

(24:17):
entire life at school and allthe things got my hubby and on
it too.
And so it was just really nicebeing kind of a united front,
right.
when it came to parenting, someof these different difficult
situations with my kiddo shewasn't motivated at first.
She was super stoked that wefound something because me
finding this came on the heelsof a very challenging weekend

(24:38):
tournament.
And so at first she was reallystoked.
But then once we actually gotit, then I'm like, okay, do it,
go do it.
She was just like, oh, okay.
Kind of Rolling her eyes.
It's like homework.
Right.
And I remembered I believe on apodcast, it was like, don't push
if you push, it's not, you know,you both have to be In it to win
it and making sure that it's onher timeline.

(24:59):
If you push, she's not going toretain and all that jazz.
That was really hard for me.
Cause I'm like, we just gotta,we just gotta go.
I'm very goal oriented.
So I'm like, these are theobjectives.
We got to check the boxes.
Let's keep it moving.
And so I did, I sat back and Iwaited and a couple of weeks in,
I was changing my attitude and Iwas changing how I was leading
and supporting.

(25:20):
And she saw that.
And I noticed that she waslogging in and doing her work
and I wasn't saying anything.
I was just secretly,cheerleading behind the scenes.
But fast forward, we had, it waslike just a couple weeks and I
think it was two weeks in andshe started to get into it.
And we had a big tournament inSalt Lake and we went and it was
a toughy.
We were in a higher sort of whatAngela was saying.

(25:42):
We were in a higher division andthe girls got creamed and they
weren't really used to that.
And Micah, I could see her, likewhat Grace was saying, I could
see her on the court.
Doing her snapback routine.
And of course I'm bawling.
I'm like, she's doing it.
And it was very tough, it wouldhave been, I know my kiddo, it
would have been at least twodays, three days where she would

(26:04):
have held on to every singleplay, everything she did wrong,
everything her coach said to herthat she took to heart.
She lost the game, which weknow, you did not lose the
games, but she would just takethat to heart.
30 minutes.
30 minutes of her having amoment, introspectively thinking
about, this is what happened,but I'm going to move on.

(26:26):
And it was over.
And I was like, do you realizeto my husband, I'm like 30
minutes, 30 minutes is nothing.
This would have been three days.
And so that in itself just mademe do the happy dance.
And I was like the weekend isgolden for me.
I don't even care what the restof the games look like anything
else that in itself wasfabulous.
And then I was able to respondto her in a way so that she.

(26:47):
She can see that.
Hey, this is what I noticedthat's super awesome.
What are you learning?
Tell me about that.
What did that look like in yourhead space?
And we just had some greatconversations.
And so anyway, that was probablylike the biggest one.
I am seeing a little bit of itcrossed into school as well.
Tests are really tough for hertoo.
And we're doing like ice statsand stuff, our standardized
testing over here.

(27:07):
And so going into it, the samething, like what Grace was
saying, she's listening to hervisualization.
She's getting herself pumped andready to go for test taking.
I'm like, yes, please.
Give me all of that.
I love it.
It's just awesome.
Yeah.
Oh, that's so exciting.
Yeah.
When you were saying well now wemade some other updates to the
program too, where now we have awhole section in the mom side or
the parents had on like gettingyour athlete, like kind of

(27:28):
bought in and like strategies onhow to present it.
So there's like a, a wholeonboarding thing there, but it's
so funny when you're like, she'slogging in.
It's like when I had like, if mytoddler, have been putting
broccoli on his plate for like,you know, six months and then
all of a sudden he ate it and Iwas like, okay, act normal, act
normal.
Yep.
And then, yeah, to see itactually.

(27:49):
Pays off.
So good job.
Way to keep your cool and staythe course.
But yeah, that's amazing.
So good.
Okay.
Angela, what changes did youstart to notice?
I think it changed once Istarted changing my approach and
conversation, I started seeing alittle bit like, why do I have
to do this?
I'm going to privates twice aweek.
What are you trying to do to me?
It was like that attitude.

(28:11):
I did not want to force her.
So that curiosity, I was justtrying to pull out curiosity.
And so, you know, I startedlogging in and working and she
could hear it.
And then she's I guess I got togo do my part, mom.
I said, Oh yeah, that would begreat.
Cause we're a partner together.
And I think what I really likeabout the program is as it's
like little snippets, like nineminutes, it doesn't take a lot.

(28:34):
But it just gives them enough toreally chew on and think about.
And I saw transfers in school.
Like I could literally see herattitude changing in school with
her school.
But one thing I can tell you astory is.
We were in right at the very endof finishing the program when we
were in Nebraska at a volleyballtournament.
And of course we got craned, youknow, like Miranda said, we just

(28:58):
got murdered.
And it was the last game andmost of the time Claire would
not have any idea how to get hermind back into it.
And usually she cries.
And she has a meltdown and shewas the only one that did not
have that.
So what she did, she went aroundher teammates and said, and I'm

(29:18):
probably gonna cry at this.
She goes, I believe in you.
I was like, Oh my gosh, she justsaid that.
And I started crying because Iturned away from my husband.
I'm like, she just did not saythat.
I believe in you.
So it was like, how did she, Idon't even know.
But that was a moment when Irealized that she was actually
getting this.
And I wasn't like forcing thatso it was so good I would be so

(29:41):
such a proud mom if I were to Iwas I cried Everybody was crying
because they lost but I wascrying because my daughter was
like Trying to encourage herclass her mates like It's okay.
I believe in you.
We got this.
It was just like the things thatI've been doing, not saying a
lot, but just little, just alittle bit.
So it was so good.
Yeah.

(30:01):
Oh, and honestly, when we hearthat, when athletes are like
feeling more confident inthemselves, they become better
leaders, and they start toinfuse that into the rest of
their team and better bodylanguage.
That's so great.
Okay..
There is a question in the chatthat is about like, was there a
time when the kiddos didn't wantto do EMG or go through the
steps they learned and you hadto reprogram?
I want to pair that with anotherquestion that we typically get.

(30:23):
That's like, Miranda kind oftalked about this a little bit,
but curious from others, how didyou get the buy in, and I will
say you don't have to have her ahundred percent bought in, in
the beginning, you know, LikeMiranda and Angela said they'll
kind of come to it.
But how did you present it?
And then were there times whereit was like are you going to do
it or not?
And how did you navigate that?
So Kristen, I'll start with youjust on that.
How did you present it?
And I've been talking about itfor a while.

(30:49):
I bought a book and a kid'sversion by it was a father and
it was kind of his son and heplays high school basketball and
it was on mental toughness.
And really a different approach.
And so we'd been circling it fora while.
And when I found this I said,this is a thing we're going to
do, and I'm going to start bydoing my part.
And we have a long commute topractice because we're mostly in

(31:11):
traffic.
And so you can do this whenyou're in the car with me once a
week.
And, then you can go back towatching tech talk or whatever
you want to do.
And.
She's been, really willing.
I will say that the magic of itthough is it's not me telling
her.
What to do.
It's you telling her what to do.
And so like when you send thetext every week and she responds

(31:33):
and you were the other coachesreply, she comes running down
the stairs and was like, lookwhat coach Miranda said, what
coach Bree said.
I literally took a screenshotbefore we came on so I could
show her that I was in the zoomwith you, Bree.
And so having someone who's notyour parents tell you these
things is really why this ismagic.
And.
Why it makes it work so much.

(31:53):
We've had two, ebbs and flows.
And so I would just encourageanybody who's in this program or
thinking about doing it, likeyou don't have to project your
manage your way through this, itwill happen and you need to just
let it.
And if you force it, you'll getin the way.
So don't get in the way.
And it started off really well.
My daughter had a fall atpractice and had a contusion,
was out for about a month andlittle did I know that she was

(32:15):
doing visualizations the entiretime.
She never told me, and I,because I didn't press, I didn't
know.
We went back to practice and Iwas like, you looked amazing
today.
You look so comfortable.
I've never seen you so relaxed.
And she was like.
I've been doing myvisualizations every day since I
got my injury on my headexploded all over the car.
And I was, this is, Oh my gosh.

(32:37):
And so then at the next week, Iwas like, how did you feel?
It's not just not ascomfortable.
And I said, have you been doingyour visualizations?
And she goes, no, I forgot.
I'll go pick it back up.
And so we've been on a threeweek break.
We picked up practice again lastweek.
She's back to doing it.
I'm back to doing mine.
And so I think The type A in mewants to sit down and just go
through all of them at once andgather all the skills and be

(32:59):
better immediately.
And this is stuff that takespractice and it takes time to
let it sink into your brain andto try it and to mess it up and
to talk about it and try itagain.
Often it's been just let it benatural.
We'll move at our own pace.
It's our life and we'll keepusing it and coming back to it.
Yeah.

(33:20):
Oh, that's awesome.
I love that.
She was like, I'm doing yourvisualizations.
They're an injury.
And that's great.
We actually also added an injurysection for athlete.
If we do, we touch on it, likesetbacks and things like that,
but we added a specific injurysection.
So it's going to happen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like we both used itimmediately.

(33:40):
We went right.
We skipped ahead and it wasexactly what we needed.
Oh, that's great.
Okay, there was a question fromMichelle, I'll answer really
fast, around texting.
Do, does her text go to all thecoaches or is she assigned to
one?
So, there's three main athletecoaches.
Me coach Saylor, who is awesome.
She played college basketballand track.
I don't know how she did both ofthose things.

(34:01):
But she's in her mid 20s andit's just phenomenal.
Next to so well with the girls.
So she's also one of our athletecoaches and she's equally
certified.
Same certification I have.
And then coach Melinda also popsin there as an athlete coach who
also has the same certificationas I do.
So Saylor and I are really themain ones.
And so we check in with athletesevery week if they have a phone.
And we ask them like, hey, how'sit going in the program?

(34:22):
Where you at?
Any questions?
And then athletes also can textus anytime that they want.
If they have questions.
And Either Saylor, or I, orMelinda respond back, so it gets
assigned to all three of us, andthen we're all assigned to a
certain routine of when werespond so yeah, and then they
get responses Monday throughFriday, 24 hours, although
Saylor works on the weekends,taylor gets she, typically your

(34:44):
athlete will get a response on aweekend, too, from Taylor.
Okay.
How do parents with multipleathletes in the program do the
program?
Separate accounts do they share?
Every athlete gets their ownlogin.
So, you set them up and they allhave their own login.
I mean, Grace with multipleathletes, if you got some on the
younger end, you can share alogin.
So all of that's in theenrollment, but it's up to you
if you want to share a login, orif she has her own email, or you

(35:04):
can set up What we call an aliasemail.
If you haven't heard of that,there's instructions on that
when you enroll.
Oh, yeah, Sunda has his ownlogin.
Perfect.
Okay, so Miranda, we already hadheard from you about the buy in
and how you went about that.
Grace, how about you?
Like how did you?
Introduce it.
And how are you fitting it intoyour schedule?
So at this point, my two oldestkids have said that they're

(35:25):
interested in playing in collegeand my husband and I played a
couple of years of collegeathletics as well.
And I think for themselves, theysee there's a difference in some
of these girls on my team whoare really outstanding.
And how do I get to that level?
And so one day, I think I wasjust listening to basically a
sample lesson where you just hitthrough all these different

(35:47):
topics because Facebook waslistening to my phone.
And so I went and grabbed myoldest daughter and I told her,
I was like, you got to comelisten to this coach.
She's a three time statechampionship title.
Be like, she's amazing.
This is everything that, thatyou want to hear from.
And so at first she was like,okay, but as she was listening

(36:09):
and I decided to walk out of theroom cause I was sold.
So then as she was likelistening by herself, it ended.
And she came out of the officeand said, mom, it's done.
And I said what'd you think?
She was like, It is so good.
And so she was like dipped hertoe in the water, but I think as
the school season started in thefall, so we didn't buy into the

(36:31):
program right away, but as theschool season started into the
fall, she started rememberingall the different topics that
you hit on in that sample video.
And I think it just opened hereyes to like all the different
things that were happening onher school team and then going
into tryouts for the mostcompetitive club team that she's
ever played for making that clubteam and then just feeling the

(36:54):
pressure of a whole new level ofcompetition.
And I will say that we're in thevolleyball courts five to seven
days a week.
It's nuts.
And so it has been hard to makea commitment for me and the kids
to do it regularly.
And I know we should, I willsometimes strategically time
dinner at a four 45.

(37:17):
Time and know that there's goingto be a five o'clock level up
call on a Sunday evening.
And so we'll just log into thelevel up call.
And I think it has really helpedmy daughters, even my third
grader, when they actually getto see peers.
Their own age going through theexact struggles that they've
been going through this seasonand then having like sailor.

(37:39):
Oh, my goodness.
Sailor is amazing.
Just hearing from the othergirls and from you coaches, how
to actually like navigate Theirteam situations, their mental
toughness situations.
I think that has stood out.
And then they hear me on the mommixers, the monthly mom mixers,
listening to other moms.
Cause one of the things myeighth grader said was, mom,

(38:01):
maybe you should learn how toraise teenage daughters.
And I was like, yes, I agreewith you.
That's why I'm doing these mommixer phone calls because.
These moms now have highschoolers who are juniors and
seniors and in college.
So I need to learn from theseother moms.
And so they hear that I'm tryingto improve myself because I have

(38:23):
so much to learn.
And I do, I love hearing fromthe other moms and the other
stories, because now they're atthe next level of college
recruiting and how do youovercome burnout?
And how do work through thegrind, so yeah, that's so great.
Love it.
The things that come out of themouths of kids, but it is true.
I'm like, I've never raisedhowever yeah, this is our first

(38:45):
time.
You're my first kid that this isyou're of this age.
Yeah the community of moms isgreat.
And we bring in.
Guest experts and our parentcoaches to have a lot of
experience.
So just this last week we hadour coach Rachel.
She was, we interviewed herbecause she has raised two very
successful high level athleteslike Gatorade.
Her daughter is commit at.

(39:06):
Michigan for basketball,Gatorade Player of the Year she
was on ESPN the other day, wewere all watching, we were like,
Rachel, your daughter's on ESPN!Anyway, so she was, she gave all
of her tips on like, how to, notjust raise an, there's a lot of
genetics that go into that, but,how to, it's a way to ensure
they're in an environment wherethey're not going to get burnt
out.
And what do you do to start therecruiting process if you have

(39:26):
kids that want to play incollege?
So yeah, there's a lot thatlike, yeah, when they're a
little bit ahead, it's superhelpful.
Yeah.
I love that.
Okay.
I heard from Miranda and Angelaa little bit about how you
prioritize it, but there's somequestions.
Okay.
How do you handle?
Angela, I'm going to, I'm goingto have you answer this one just
because you had a kind of arough season.
So typically when that happens,the parents like to, everyone

(39:47):
gets a little negative.
So did you have that and how doyou handle negative influences
from other parents?
Like sideline chatter?
This parent said, I'm supersocial.
I love to visit, but I want toput some people on mute.
I try to change the subject, butI don't want to be rude.
Did you encounter any of thatthis season?
Oh, you're on mute now.
We didn't mean for you to go onmute.
We're talking about the otherparents.

(40:07):
Yeah.
Can you hear me?
Yep, sorry about that.
I was clicking buttons.
Yes, I didn't carry thatencounter that quite a bit,
especially since we had such atough season.
Not a lot of successes, but sothere was a lot of negative
blaming.

(40:27):
It's.
The coach's fault.
It's this person's fault.
Everybody had a blame game and Iwas like, and it was frustrating
because I could see not thatthese parents are messing their
children up, but they weresaying all the wrong things.
And what I did, I just led byexample.
And what I mean by that, Iwould.
Because we'd had these groupchats or these group texts and I

(40:50):
would slip some things thatWould be encouraging to say
after a game like, that was areally tough lost I noticed that
you guys worked really hard.
They worked hard So I just triedto change my posture because I
had your weapon now because lastyear I didn't have it But we
were in a whole different level.
And so it was I'm so thankfulthat I found this because I

(41:13):
think I would have joined themand being negative, but what I
did, I just changed myconversation.
And when I did that, I noticedthere's about 2 parents that
were saying, hey, I noticedsomething that you're doing
differently.
Can you share with me whatyou're doing?
And they said I'm staying in mylane.
I'm the parent.
I did not become a volleyball.

(41:34):
I'm not a coach.
My husband's the coach.
He's a coach, but he doesn'tcoach our daughter.
So I decided to stay in my laneto recognize that no matter what
the outcome is, I love mydaughter.
And I want her to love thesport.
And even if we lose every game,I want her to love it.
To gain it's going to be okay.

(41:54):
It's not the end of the world.
So I just changed my convert, myposture, how I approached it,
because I can't change anybody.
I wish I could change a lot ofpeople, control things, but you
can't.
So I just changed what I said.
I didn't roll my eyes because I,last year I rolled my eyes a
lot.
I would actually lead the court.
I would be so upset.
So I would just reallyintentionally change my posture,

(42:17):
my words.
And that really, I think thatchanged a lot.
It didn't change the outcome,but it did change a little bit
of a parent's perspective andattitude.
But yeah, I think, that's toughwhen you have that in your, and
I can say this was probably theworst year I've ever experienced
in club volleyball ever.
I don't know, I probably wouldhave not made it if I wouldn't

(42:40):
have had this program.
It was definitely God sentbecause he knew that I was going
to experience this.
And that I needed to take awhole different approach on it,
yeah.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah, I think that's awesome.
Like you're changing and peopleare noticing other parents have
also said like, sometimes youjust drop some of your podcast
episodes in the group chat, likewith other parents.

(43:03):
And, you know, I'm hearing alsolike, sometimes I just sit by
myself.
I know that this question waslike, I am social, I want to be
around them.
But I think I did an episode on,I think it's in the course.
We talked about just lettingpeople's comments hang.
Like, Make them feel a littleawkward.
I know that sounds, but it's youdon't have to engage, you don't
have to respond.
But just let it hang in there.
Like, Oh, that's interesting.
And you know they'll notice likeyou're not the one that is going

(43:26):
to tear the coach down and youcan have your opinions about all
those things.
But the more that you engage init like you're part of the team
culture as a parent.
And so like how you interact andhow what you're talking about
and what you're focusing on likefor sure impacts like the
athletes as well.
Yeah, that's great.
Okay.
Let's see, Miranda, I hadsomething for you.
Okay, so this question is about,curious about restoring the joy
in playing.
Daughter left her basketballteam five years ago and I'm

(43:48):
worried she won't go back totravel basketball.
She's a great player, has agreat school situation, but
travel ball is up in the air.
I want her to enjoy playingagain at this level.
Now, sort of, Miranda, yourdaughter like, I mean, she had a
moment where she was like, Idon't think I want to play
anymore.
Is that bringing up anything foryou?
Like the joy of playing and kindof getting back into it.
Yeah, that was my biggest fearbecause I am obsessed with the

(44:09):
sport, but I really wanted it tobe her decision.
I want her to love it as much asI do, but I would be so stoked
if she was, playing chess.
I don't even care.
I'm just so proud of mydaughter.
But when she's been playingsince she can walk and then to
come up, saying, I just don'twant to play anymore.
Not today was a hard day or, youknow, even my coach sucks or my

(44:30):
team, whatever it was.
I don't want to play.
That was like, oh man.
And so we just let that sit.
Honestly because I didn't evenknow what to say.
So thankfully I just didn't sayanything.
And later we were able todiscuss what was that feeling?
That's pretty big feeling, foryou to share with me.
So can we unpack that a littlebit?
And she really expressed, it wasjust really hard.

(44:53):
It's really hard.
And I don't want to feel, thesefeelings that I felt again.
And so it's easier for me tojust walk away.
And big picture is I totally getthat.
And I don't want you to hurt.
But I also understand that you,that's what life is.
You're practicing and you'resupposed to be failing.
And I know that it hurts.
But you have to figure out howto, how are we going to figure

(45:16):
out how to fail gracefully andwhat can we learn from it and
all the things that, are Irollie with her when I'm saying
it, but, through the program, itreally has helped to emphasize
that and to always go back toher why I think at least once a
week, whether it's in a groupcall or a text from a coach or

(45:36):
in the work that she's doingonline it talks about what your
why is and what are you doingand is it really fulfilling you?
If it's not, that's totallycool.
That's fine.
It's better to recognize thatright now.
Then to just fake it butrealizing is this giving you
joy?
Is it bringing you joy now?
Does that mean 24, seven, that'sokay too.

(45:59):
And that's where, you know, momand dad can talk about it or
with coaches and things likethat.
I will tell you the lows arestill there, but they're so much
easier to deal with because likewhat the ladies have already
shared.
I'm able to stay in my lane.
I'm not coaching her.
That's not my role here.
And she's able to find me anddad as a safe place.

(46:21):
And so it's not so exhausting,right?
She's not going to get coachedby one more person.
She knows that she can come homeand puke all the things out and
we're going to be like, oh man.
And how did you handle it?
It's like watching a movie.
I'm like, Oh, really?
Tell me more, you know, and thenshe's able just to get it out.
And when she gets it out, andshe's able to regulate.
She's like, cool, let's do itagain.

(46:44):
And so I'm able to see that thatI'm that safe person for her,
that safe place for her throughthis program.
And so it reignites the flamewhen she does have the hard
times I'm there.
She can give it all to me.
We can talk through it withoutbeing coached, but really just a
sounding board.
And I'm listening with intentand being honest about, man, I

(47:07):
don't know, do you think coachBre knows?
Let's go look online togetherand see.
Sorry, Coach Bre.
I put a lot of pressure on you,but it's okay.
So I'm here for, yeah, for themost part we can figure it out
that way, or at least find asimple solution that, to help us
breathe right now.
Yeah.
And then I'm telling you thatjust releases the pressure.
And so then she's like, okay,I'm good.

(47:30):
Let's go play.
And it really is that bounceback.
And so it's not, does that, isit a hundred percent, 150
percent joyful all the time?
20 percent no.
But is she able to realize thatand keep going?
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Great.
And that's what we want, becauseit's not going to be a hundred
percent joyful when she.
Graduates high school goesthrough high school or goes

(47:52):
through college relationshipslike that's not life.
And so expecting that andsetting that precedent like you
should be happy all the time andlet's get you there.
You know, We got to get to that.
It's really good that they nowhave skills to weather those
things.
So, yeah, Yeah, go for it,Grace.
One thing I just wanted to addto was my oldest was losing her

(48:12):
joy in the sport too.
And there was a point thisseason with being on the most
competitive team that she's yetbeen on having a really tough
coach, she also said halfwaythrough the season, mom, I just
want to quit.
And I was like, what we havealready committed so much time,
money and energy.
Like we're committed for thisseason.

(48:33):
So we got to figure out how toget you through.
And give a hundred percent.
And she was crying in the middleof a tournament because her
coach yelled at her, completelyhumiliated her other coaches and
other teams on other courts.
And if any of you guys go tovolleyball tournaments, you know
how loud it is in thosefacilities.

(48:55):
But the way that he yelled ather and scolded her, just, she
was like done.
And in the end, what we foundwas okay.
Let's let's figure out a betterlike work life balance for her.
So we started rewriting.
What does your week look like?
Because we're at the gym so manydays a week.

(49:17):
How do we build in socialopportunities with your non
volleyball friends?
If you're too tired to do aworkout on your off days.
Okay.
Take that time to rest.
And so I think that has allhelped restore the joy for her.
And now, in the beginning of theseason, she played on a higher
level team.
She wasn't getting any playingtime out of one position.

(49:40):
She's now the starting liberofor her team.
They just want to bid tonationals her coach.
She had a really bad practicejust a week ago.
And I was like, how come youseem so joyful when you said,
Oh, practice didn't go so well.
She was like, cause you know, Ijust don't care about my coach's
opinion anymore.
And I can't please all myteammates.
So I'm just going to do the bestthat I can.

(50:02):
And if it didn't go well, itdidn't go well, because I know
that sometimes I just have offdays and I just want it to like,
Scream and joy because that wasnot her just even three to four
months ago.
So I think even though thisseason has been really hard for
her, I think the experience ofgoing through all these
adversities and then learninghow to be resilient has been so

(50:25):
helpful.
Oh, that's so great.
So great.
We talk about that like we do alittle motivation lesson as
well, where it's like the ruleof thirds.
And we tell athletes like, Hey,a third of the time going to be
great.
Great training session.
Amazing.
Third of the time, it's going tobe like, not so great, but not
bad.
Meh.
And a third time it's going tobe bad.
Like That's just part of it.
And so we tell athletes, if youhave a bad training session or

(50:45):
practice or whatever, Just knowlike, that's actually normal.
It's expected, and we need thosedays.
We're gonna let it go, becausetomorrow, odds are, it's likely
gonna be better, or great.
Yeah, just a little perspective.
Okay, so we're at the hour.
I want to respect everybody'stime.
I do have some questions that Iwill be answering, so moms that
ask questions, I will stay on tomake sure those get answered.
But I do want to give all themoms just a 30 second wrap up,

(51:08):
any last minute thoughts oranything that you felt like you
wanted to share that but didn'tget a chance we'll end with
that, with all four of you, andthen I'll stay on to answer the
rest of these questions.
So, Kristen, we'll start withyou.
I'll just tell you a really faststory about how this has worked
outside of sports, which I thinkis ultimately why we're doing
this, right?
Taking my daughter to herprivate lesson, we're running
really late because of traffic,and I'm just like, my shoulders

(51:30):
are bunched up.
I'm stressed.
I hate being late.
And so my kid, like mindsetpractices on me.
So first she turns on some BobMarley to set the mood.
And then she says, I just wantto point out, I know you're
stressed, but we're safe andwe're where we're supposed to
be.
And we're probably missingaccidents right now.
And that's helping us keep ussafe.
And I was like, okay, 13 yearolds, that was wise.

(51:52):
And then she says, and also.
Let's focus on what we cancontrol right now.
We can't control the traffic.
We can't control that relate,but we can control like how we
feel and our conversation here.
And so let's just take a breathtogether.
And I was like, did you just usemindset training on me?
I know.
And she was like, yes.
And I'm like, Well done.
And so like I said this in thechat, but all of this is
ultimately about distresstolerance.

(52:13):
And that's for parents and it'salso for kids and it applies
everywhere.
It works everywhere.
And it's a hundred percent thebest thing we've ever done.
Oh my gosh.
That was a great story.
Ooh, it is true.
I mean, I don't know how many ofyou are also reading The Anxious
Generation by Jonathan Haidt.
Like, anyone?
Add that to your Audible.
But it reminded me of that like,you know, just being able to,
manage those situations withoutshutting down and being like, oh

(52:36):
my gosh, I can't deal.
Love that.
Okay, Grace.
I would just say if you are juston the edge of do I buy into
this or don't buy into this,just do it.
Because if I remember correctly,you have a certain amount of
time to just try it and sampleit.
I think that you will find thatit is well worth all of the

(52:56):
opportunities just to grow inyourself as a mom.
But to build.
Greater connections with yourdaughters.
I know that the stress level inthe beginning coming into this
new club season was at a wholedifferent level because we were
trying out for The highest teamthat we could in our area and
there was a lot of tension, butgoing through this program has
helped us and her previous clubcoaches.

(53:20):
We still keep in touch with themand the parents and they have
noticed the change in Genesis.
They've seen her confidence growand the way that she holds
herself on the court and to haveother outsiders recognize that
while there's somethingdifferent has been really
encouraging to her.
Yeah.
That's so amazing.
It's so fun when you're like,Oh, wow, somebody else is

(53:40):
noticing.
That's so great.
Okay, Miranda.
I guess just kind of a reminderthat if you're struggling with,
I don't know what to do.
I can't do this anymore.
Then it's.
Very apparent to your kid, yourkiddo is feeling all of that
too, because if by the timeyou're seeing it, whether it's
how they perform on whateverthey're doing or their coaches

(54:03):
are seeing it or it's impactingthem at homeschool, whatever
they've been internalizing itfor a minute, right?
So by the time it's actuallybubbling over and you're seeing,
some of it, Then they need somesupport there.
And so if you're at a loss, thenthis is really perfect.
It's something right.
Like it's something, and it's areally good something.

(54:24):
That's where I feel like thecommon theme for all of us.
That's where we were like, whatdo we do?
And so doing something and beingable to communicate with your
child and provide support whilethey actually are gaining the
tools for success.
Or not just their sport, butinto adulthood.
It's such a gift.

(54:44):
And like all these ladies havesaid, it's created such a
awesome relationship with me andmy kiddo my kiddo and her dad.
And anyway.
Just making her an awesomeperson.
Side note I'm noticing that mostof our kiddos are going to
nationals in Dallas.
We probably like a, separatezoom call because man, we might
need some coffee or some sort oftherapy session together.

(55:06):
I'd say.
Yeah.
I'm okay.
I'll connect you three.
In the email, the follow upemail and then you guys, yeah.
Cause yeah, you're all in, butyou're not in Vegas and Dallas.
Okay.
Dallas.
Okay, cool.
That's great.
Yeah, you should definitely gettogether.
Okay, Angela, how about you?
Just, I will not be at thatbecause we didn't make it, by

(55:27):
the way.
Sorry, I didn't mean to leaveyou out of that, Angela.
No, it's all good.
It's all good.
No, it's all good.
I think for me, it's just it'sreally changed my daughter and
I, how we talk to each other andjust, I think the conversations
are longer.
And I've learned how to justjust shut up and just let her
lead that conversation.
But I would say, because she ismy final one, my other two are

(55:48):
grown up focus on the journeyfocus on, this new process, but
don't like focus on the outcomethat much.
Cause that will just stress youout.
Like it just will stress youout.
And I think that just bringsback that control factor,
because taught for years, publicschool, private school.
So I like this because I comefrom a teacher perspective and I

(56:09):
like the backward design, like Ilike to work backwards.
But I've noticed that you like,yeah, would love to go to
nationals, but that's not theoutcome.
Like I'm focused on the journeywith her, how I can help her
understand what she can controland what she can't.
And I want to teach her.
How to think and not what tothink.

(56:29):
And I think your framework coachfree is spot on.
It is just, it's just beenincredible.
It was so timely for us and itjust.
Saved her from leavingvolleyball.
We're trying out for a whole newclub.
And so it's going to be ajourney.
And so these conversations, thisjourney we have is, it's going

(56:50):
to be interesting, but I wouldsay if you're just not sure if
you want to join, like Gracesaid, there's a window where you
can pull out, but I guaranteeyou, he won't, you will be in
it.
I guarantee you, cause I havefive more years with player
that.
If she continues, we'll be inthis program, and apply it to
each situation that we have, butjust enjoy the journey, and have

(57:13):
fun, and remember why you'redoing it.
Oh, that's a great finish up.
And by the way, okay, so Angela,I have, she's gonna do her off
season plan, and then we have atryout section in there too, I
saw that, yes! Yeah.
So you have her, she has hersand you have yours.
So that'll be good too, to tryout the new club.
All right.
Well, thank you so much moms.
I really appreciate you sharingso generously.

(57:34):
Like I said, I'm going to stayon and answer the rest of the
questions.
They're a little more directedtowards me anyways, but thank
you.
I will follow up with an email,connect all of you and I just
really appreciate you sharing somuch.
Yeah.
Have a great rest of your day.
Bye moms.
Okay, and then Challenge Momsthere were some great questions
in here.
How do you push when there's atime limit with the coaches in

(57:54):
the beginning?
Yeah, I think this is referringto, you have six months of free
live support and coaching, andso you're kind of like, okay,
you know, can we get, can we geton this?
And that can be hard.
So some ways that athletes.
and moms navigate the program.
First of all, you have that twoweek window where there's a
money back guarantee.
And just like the mom said, youcan schedule into your week.

(58:18):
You're like, Hey, we're justgoing to try this and we're
going to go to Starbuckstogether and sit down.
I'm going to do some of mystuff, I'll have you, and all
you need to do is listen to a 10minutes.
Okay.
And just like, make it veryshort.
Our training plan is 30 minutesa week, but the videos are like
between five and 15 minutes.
And so, just like, adding intothe schedule and be like, this
is what we're going to do.
And I just need you to try.

(58:39):
And If you don't like it, that'sfine.
That's not what I'm asking, butwe're just going to try it for a
little bit.
We do find that like, there'salso a section in the mom side
on onboarding tips.
We have all the tips and thethings that you can say and
things to watch to help yourathlete kind of get interested
in the program.
If she's not already, I will saythat most are.
And then most.
Once they get going in it likewant to continue going like

(58:59):
Miranda said, we put a lot ofour heavy hitting strategies at
the beginning so that they'regetting quick wins.
So, And if your athlete'sheading into the off season
right now, summer this is agreat time.
We actually as soon as theyenter, they are going to, they
go through a process to knowlike where to start.
So if your daughter is in her,like heading into an off season,
she'll start with her off seasontraining plan.
If she.
isn't, then she'll be more injust like a general training

(59:21):
plan.
So, Off season is a perfect timefor her to build these skills
and then heading into her seasonstrong.
Okay.
Let's see here.
I wish I had found this a yearago.
I have a rising junior playingcompetitive soccer.
We call that Sunday calls.
We'll be separated between highschool girls.
And younger.
Can you speak a little moretowards how the material may
meet needs of both middle schooland a high school player?
Yeah yeah, the calls themselvesare separated, so we have

(59:41):
between athletes between 11 to18 years old.
And we have some college levelathletes as well, and we have
some that are a little bityounger.
The content is geared, I willsay, towards the higher middle
school to high school level.
So those strategies and so allof those are like our high
schoolers are able to implementreally.
the whole system.
Okay, so they're keying in onreally everything.

(01:00:03):
Whereas middle schoolers andyounger, they might not be
dealing quite yet with preperformance nerves or anxiety.
Okay, so they'll watch that leftlesson or the training, but it
might not totally apply to theirsituation yet.
Or some of the deeper thingslike perfectionism.
And so the high school andcollege, like they're really
grasping every single thingthat's in the program.

(01:00:24):
And then that's also why we.
Separate the calls.
So those questions that the highschoolers and college girls are
asking are much different thanthe middle school and younger.
And so we really direct a littlebit deeper.
When we coach them, it's alittle bit of a deeper process.
Like we're really having themreflect on what is this thought?
Is it true?
Even Yeah.
Where do you think this thoughtcame from?
You know, Whereas middleschoolers can't quite grasp

(01:00:44):
that, so we keep it a littlemore higher level, but still the
awareness is there of Oh, that'sinteresting thought that popped
into your head.
Do you have to hang on to it orcan we let it go?
And so, the strategiesthemselves apply to wide range.
I hope that makes sense.
And the high school and collegereally are going to be able to
implement every single partright away.
Whereas the middle school andyounger, the program is going to
grow with them.

(01:01:05):
Okay.
All right.
I'm going to stick to here.
My daughter has been using andreally enjoys affirmations and
visualizations.
How can we use them when yourdaughter isn't selected for the
team?
My daughter can get herself in astate where she doesn't feel
good enough.
By the way, other moms withdancers know this.
Dance is incre asingly acrobaticand though our daughter is
beautiful.
The answer has been working veryhard.
The acro isn't a strength ofhers and she's just feeling

(01:01:26):
defeated.
Yeah.
And it just happened to be thata lot of the moms on the panel
today have athletes in teamsports, but we, we have dancers,
we have ice skaters, you've gotswimmers, tennis players, like
all of the sports in.
Now if she isn't selected for ateam.
And she's still planning ontrying out again or still
planning and participating.
That's when we would have themdo the off season plan.

(01:01:48):
She's still going to visualizebecause she wants to visualize
how she wants to show up in hernext season.
She's also going throughmeditation just for like, daily
life.
I mean, learning how the skillof using breath work, of
shifting herself talk theaffirmations in the offseason.
We have our athletes come upwith affirmations for their
offseason and what they'reworking on.

(01:02:09):
So like they create a plan forthemselves, they have goals and
then their affirmations arealigned with that.
And so those are theaffirmations that they're using.
And then when she shifts toseason or she tries out again
and makes a team, then she'sgoing to change her affirmation.
She'll go through phase twoagain, which is only about 30
minutes long to reorient heraffirmations with the current
season that she's in.
So those are going to change.

(01:02:29):
That's why we say like theprogram really does evolve with
athletes.
Because it's not a one and done,like you don't just like set
goal.
And our goal setting is verydifferent than like a typical
like, okay, we're going to setgoals.
Like some of you experiencedlast night on the call, we
include the mindset of it.
We include visualizationsbecause we know it can't just be
like something you say and thendon't do.
And your mindset has to be inalignment with that.
So yeah, great question.

(01:02:51):
Okay.
My daughter has a very toughcoach.
He doesn't show many emotionsother than when they do wrong.
He has looks of disadisappointment to my daughter
doesn't, do good with it.
I hope EMG helps her cope withit.
Okay, and then it sounds likeyou just joined.
Absolutely, like that's one ofthe, one of the takeaways that
we hear a lot from athletes isthat they're taking coaching
better.
That they're able, I mean, youheard the moms on like, I'm

(01:03:11):
choosing grace said I've decidedlike his opinion doesn't matter.
And I'm just going to do thebest that I can.
And I can't control what he'sthinking or what he's doing.
And then in that bonus that wehave for you when you joined by
today, we have the, how to riseabove teammate drama and thrive
under challenging coachesbundle.
And that's really where we gointo like here, when you have a
challenging coach, which yourdaughter will at some point in
her career.
Here's how to handle it.

(01:03:31):
And barring any abuse, ofcourse, like we in the mom side
of it, we tell you like, okay,here's what you need to look
for.
If you're suspecting it's likeabusive language and all of
that, but really it's teachingthem.
We do an inside out approach,teaching them what they can
control, making sure they have asupport system in place, and
then advocating if she needs.
But yeah, we definitely dive inbecause that's a very common
thing.
We also coach a lot on that, onthe live calls and via text for

(01:03:55):
athletes.
Okay I feel like I saw anotherquestion.
Maybe Kristina's answering it.
Okay, yeah, Kristina answeredRebecca's.
We don't, for the Zoom calls thelink is sent via text.
Yeah, not social media.
For the mom calls, we do havetwo times a month Facebook Live
training.
So that's for you.
However, they're recorded andthey're uploaded right after
into your portal.
And then they're, just kind oflike the challenge, we have a

(01:04:16):
private podcast.
For any of the mom trainings weupload them to the private
podcast afterwards.
So that you can listen, that'smy favorite way to listen to
things.
Like you can listen to your car,on your walk, wherever.
Okay, I thought I saw aquestion.
Oh, this one.
Thoughts on recognizing thedifference between burnout and
confidence issues.
And then if there's not anyother questions, we'll draw our
blackout winner here in asecond.

(01:04:36):
So burnout and confidence, wehave a whole section in the
mom's side as well on likepreventing burnout and
recognizing signs of burnout.
Burnout typically is like she,it's, it is kind of hard, you
know, because it could beeither, but typically she's
expressing like more than justone sign of exhaustion.
So there's.

(01:04:56):
She's probably telling you like,I don't want to go to practice.
So that obviously is a sign.
And if it is happening for weeksand weeks at a time, but also if
she's physically exhausted,okay.
So you're noticing like, she'snot getting, she feels like
she's never getting enough rest.
She's not feeling recovered.
Like all of that because burnoutwas a combination of like
mental, physical, emotional.

(01:05:16):
And so look at all three ofthose things, like mentally are
there things going on in hersport that are causing her to
like, and she can't deal, youknow, she's not really dealing
with feedback well from a coachor she has lost her playing time
and she's struggling with thator she's struggling with
pressure.
Emotional is connected to thatas well, but just like the
feeling of like, I'm notenjoying my sport anymore.
I really don't want to go.
And then the physical side of itas well.

(01:05:37):
So the physical like, are younoticing that she's lacking
energy?
And so burnout can typically besolved with breaks and
intentional breaks and talkingthrough that.
Confidence issues are like,we've got to look, what are the
specific things that are goingon in her sport and is this
Something that wasn't happeninglast season.
Is there a change?
Is the pressure higher?
You heard a lot from the mom.
So when she's trying out now fora bigger team and so the

(01:05:57):
pressure is there, she has adifferent coach.
That's a lot tougher.
And that's impacting herconfidence.
She's got a teammate.
So typically this confidencething is cropping up because now
she's experiencing differentthings in her sport.
Okay, great question.
I would love to hear your takefor those that have kids that
aren't too social.
Do you feel they have, after theprogram changed to since the
conference is up?
Oh, yeah.
And I think so the moms answeredthis in the chat because it's

(01:06:19):
really about like stresstolerance.
And then, yeah, Christina saidalso we have a training in there
about leadership and, being anintrovert and seeing that as
something that's empowering.
And actually one of hersuperpowers.
And so we kind of changed thisapproach around you have to be,
in order to be a leader, youhave to be the one that's very
social and be the loud one andbe the, you know, all of this.

(01:06:42):
And so we do address that pieceof it specifically on
introversion.
But yeah, we do hear from momsas well that they're starting to
take steps to connect with theirteammates a little bit more.
We coach athletes on this aswell that, and teammate dynamics
are so hard, I will say, youknow, because there's like
clicks and there's the age ofthe girls and it's just like the

(01:07:02):
social, it can be really tricky.
But we teach the girls likelittle things.
little things like, Hey, get topractice just a little bit
earlier and see if you canconnect with just one player.
And make sure, you know, thenames of your team and like
little tips like that, that helpkind of with that socialness.
I'm trying to remember now, likeChristina, maybe you remember,
but there was a mom recentlythat texted in something about

(01:07:24):
this and how her daughter, she'snow noticing her daughter is
like talking to more girls onthe team and just making those
connections because when shestarts to realize like, Hey,
they're actually not thinkingabout me as much as I think they
are, you know, kind of lettinggo of this like, Oh my gosh, I'm
going to make a wrong move or,you know, cause sometimes that's
underlying then they're a littlemore free to just kind of be
themselves.
So, Yeah we have heard from momsthat that is.

(01:07:46):
It's something that that hashappened after the program.
Yeah, exactly.
When they're comfortable.
Yeah.
That's the whole psychologicalsafety thing.
Right.
So, Of course there's like anelement of like team dynamic and
leadership there from the coachand creating those opportunities
as well.
And so we've coached parents toon like how to have that
conversation with a coach tolike help bridgsome of this if
it really is is like an issuethat like, Hey, my daughter's

(01:08:07):
being left out or there's abetter way to like, you know,
even as simple as like, Hey,find a partner at the beginning
of practice can be like, soanxiety provoking for some
athletes.
Cause they're like, I don't haveany friends and everybody else
partners up and then I'm leftalone.
Like coaches can change littlethings like that to like help
the team dynamic and culture.
But obviously it takes a littlebit of navigating as a parent to
figure out like how to bringthat up to a coach.

(01:08:28):
So we coach you through that.
All right, moms, it was so greatto see you.
And if you have, like I said, ifyou have any questions, email
us, post in the Facebook group.