How to Get Your Daughter to Work On Her Mental Game Without Getting Eye Rolls Back

How do you get your daughter to actually want to work on her mental game… without the sighs, eye rolls, or “Mom, stop”?

This episode is packed with strategies to help you bring up mental training in a way that doesn’t feel pushy, awkward, or like something’s “wrong” with her. Instead, you’ll learn how to spark curiosity, connect it to her goals, and make it fun.

Here’s what you’ll hear inside: 

• Why some athletes resist mental training at first and what makes them change their mind.
• A simple way to show your daughter that top athletes all work on their mindset.
• The secret to tying mental training directly to your daughter’s personal goals so it clicks with her.
• Quick wins that make mental training feel exciting instead of overwhelming.
• A fun quiz that helps athletes see their “competitor style” and gets them talking about mindset.

If you’re tired of feeling like the “nagging mom” every time you bring this up, this episode is for you.

🎧 Listen now and find out how to introduce mental training without the eye rolls!

Episode Highlights: 

[00:00:00] Why Mental Training Matters. Most athletes don’t get taught mental skills by their coaches, even though confidence, handling nerves, and bouncing back from mistakes are key to success.

[00:01:30] A Story from Sheridan. One athlete inside the Elite Mental Game admits she was skeptical at first but after using her reset routine, she quickly felt calmer and more in control at practice.

[00:03:00] Strategy #1: Show Her What the Best Athletes Do. Teens listen more when advice comes from athletes they admire. Using examples like Simone Biles, Serena Williams, or Steph Curry helps make mental training feel legit.

[00:06:07] Strategy #2: Connect It to Her Goals. Your daughter is motivated by what she wants, not what you want. Linking mental training to her personal goals (making varsity, having more fun, or being a great teammate) makes the conversation easier.

[00:08:18] Strategy #3: Start Small with Quick Wins. Long lectures won’t work. Instead, give her fast, fun wins like the “What’s Your Competitor Style?” quiz so she learns about herself and sees the benefits of mental training right away.

[00:11:16] Resources to Make It Easier. The Elite Mental Game program is built for athletes and parents, giving quick, practical tools that stick. Plus, the Conversation Guide includes scripts and starters to make talking about mental training way less awkward.

Next Steps:

• Join our FREE Training for Sports Moms - How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter's Mental Game so She Believes in Herself as Much as You Do
• Visit our podcast website for more great episodes
• Grab the Conversation Guide for helping get your athlete on board with mental training

Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission and leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Ever feel like when you try tobring up mental training your

(00:02):
daughter tunes you out?
Like she knows you're about tosuggest something and then
automatically shuts you down?
Or maybe you want to bring upthis whole idea of training the
mental side of the game becauseyou know that it will help her
really hone in on her physicalgame?
Test, test.
But you don't want to bring itup in a way that makes it seem
like something is wrong withher.
If that is you, this episode isfor you.

(00:25):
By the way, I'm coach Bre.
Welcome back to the RaisingElite Competitors podcast.
I'm so excited that you're here.
Whether you are a sports mom,just getting going on your
sports journey, or you have alot of seasons under your belt,
this podcast is for you.
Is for you to help you know howto raise a confident, mentally
strong girl athlete.
Now, introducing mental trainingis a question I get asked a lot
from moms in our communitybecause that is our bread and

(00:47):
butter.
That's what we do here at theElite Competitor.
Our signature mental trainingprogram, the elite mental game,
helps athletes develop themental side of their sport so
that they have more confidence.
They have the mental tools toface the normal parts of being
an athlete, like how to dealwith nerves, comparison
pressure.
Mistakes, all of the things thatare very normal, but most
athletes actually don't have theskills to navigate those things
because most coaches actuallydon't teach them.

(01:09):
So we're going to be breakingdown today.
How you can bring this up toyour daughter in a way that
seems non threatening thatreally helps her understand What
mental training is and maybeeven opens the door for her to
try some of this out because wehave a lot of tools And a lot of
resources that are reallyaccessible for athletes and make
a huge difference in theirsport.

(01:30):
Before I do, I want to give ashout out to an athlete in our
community.
She is an athlete who is goingthrough the elite mental game.
Her name is Sheridan.
She said recently, it's going sowell.
So referring to how she's doinginside EMG, she said, it's going
well.
I used my mental reset thismorning in practice and it
helped a lot.
I felt so much calmer.
She also said, to be honest,when my mom roped me into this,

(01:51):
I didn't think it would work,but I'm already seeing it help
in the day to day life as well.
So thank you so much.
And I love the honesty herebecause she is acknowledging
what some athletes, when theyentered to the program, they're
like, I don't know about this.
This is a little different mom.
What are you?
What are you having me do?
Some athletes are super openfrom the beginning and they kind
of understand how important themental side of the game is.

(02:12):
And we'll talk about how you canhelp your daughter be one of
those athletes, but some of themare a little skeptical.
And so I love that Sheridan waslike, I'm not really sure if
this is going to be for me.
And so We intentionally frontload the easiest and most
impactful skills at thebeginning of the program.
So what Sheridan was referringto was her step back routine.
So this is a really easy routinethat athletes develop within

(02:33):
their first week of the program,a tool that helps them come back
from mistakes very quickly.
So Sheridan is talking about hermental reset and how that's
helping her in her sport and inher life.
So she is quickly, as soon asshe's in the program, she is
quickly realizing how it'shelping her.
So congratulations, Sheridan,and also to your mom because It
sounds like she made a rightdecision and it's helping you

(02:54):
out.
All right, let's get into it.
How you can help your athleteunderstand what mental training
is, help her maybe dip her toein a little bit without seeming
like you're nagging or thatyou're pushing her.
The number one strategy, or thefirst strategy that I have is.
to show her that this is whatthe best athletes do.
And why this works is that teensare a lot more likely to listen

(03:16):
to someone else.
Sorry.
Especially athletes that theyadmire.
So we do hear from athletes thatare like, the way that you said
it just resonated with me.
Or we hear from moms that arelike I've been trying to tell
her this the whole time.
And then she hears it from thisathlete.
She hears it from you, CoachBree.
And now all of a sudden it's thebest idea ever.
So we're going to leverage that.
Why not?
Show her that this really iswhat separates athletes and One

(03:37):
quick way you can do that is toshow her like how professional
athletes and how collegeathletes are utilizing this So
if she has an athlete that sheadmires or she looks up to
Leverage that so of course weall you know, we're familiar
with the Simone Biles and thislast summer at the Olympics,
there's a lot of examples thatyou can draw on from her and
kind of the mental strength thatshe had and how she actually

(03:59):
hired a sports psychologist tohelp her in the off season.
So there's like big names likethat, Serena Williams, Steph
Curry, like there's lots ofexamples if you just honestly
Google those names or Googlesomebody that, she looks up to,
likely you're going to comeacross some sort of video or
TikTok or YouTube thing wherethey're talking about their

(04:19):
mental prep.
Either they're talking about howthey're handling pressures
they're maybe even specificallytalking about visualizations,
you can find a lot just usingthe examples that are out there
around people that she admires.
Now, if she doesn't have that Iwould guess that she probably
does have somebody that shelooks up to, somebody in her
sport that is, you know,achieving at a high level and

(04:39):
also talking about the mindset.
But.
We also have resources that shecan listen to on the podcast,
and I'm actually going to link areally useful guide in the show
notes.
It's called our ConversationGuide.
So in it, there's conversationstarters that you can use to
help bring this idea up.
There's also podcast episodesthat we've recommended for her
to listen to.
And a lot of these episodes arejust me interviewing alumni from

(05:01):
the Elite Mental Game.
And in those, they're talkingabout what they were not only
struggling with, I use the wordstruggling, you know, not in a
way that will make it sound likeall athletes are struggling when
they come into the program,because they're not.
Honestly, a lot of athletes comein because they want a
competitive advantage.
They want an edge.
And so you'll hear from theseathletes, she'll listen to these
athletes who are like, yeah,after learning these skills, I

(05:22):
was able to deal with pressuremore.
You know, I interviewed my threetime state champion captains
recently on the podcast andasked them how mental training
had impacted how they showed upat state, how they showed up in
those championship matches.
And just that is a really goodexample of people who are her
age, her peers who are doingthese things, who are using
these skills, so that it's notseeming like it's, you telling

(05:45):
her like, Hey, you need thisbecause you're not confident.
She's hearing from otherathletes who are saying, I'm
using this and this was mysecret sauce.
So if you want some of thoseepisodes, I will put the
conversation guide in the shownotes and you can find those.
there's a lot.
I think I have like three orfour that you can just listen to
put on in the car, put on andleave the room.
Okay.
All right.
That's strategy number one.
Give her examples of otherathletes who are doing it.

(06:07):
Strategy number two, connectedto her goals.
Now, teens and tweens aremotivated when they see a direct
benefit to what they want, notwhat they think you want.
Yes, you know you want moreconfidence for your athlete you
want her to be able to handlemistakes and not melt down and
spiral, and all of that.
But it's gonna come a lotbetter.
Easier if it's connected tosomething that she has wanted.

(06:28):
So maybe she has told you someof the goals that she has in her
sport.
And those could be goals likeshe wants to play at the next
level.
It could be goals of she wantsto make varsity or be a captain
or even things like, I want tohave more fun.
I want to feel like I can go outand play free.
I want to be a good teammate.
Like those are also really greatgoals and desires for her and
her sport.
And then you can add in, yourmindset is actually the thing

(06:50):
that can, elevate you, separateyou, get you closer to those
goals faster because there'sonly enough physical training
that you can do.
And honestly, if she's talkingabout the goals of playing on
beyond the level that she is atright now, at some point, all
that talent and all the physicaltraining is going to be pretty
equal.
we run into that when we get tostate, because all teams are

(07:10):
good.
They're all talented.
They're all putting in the work.
What is going to separate you?
And not all athletes aretraining their mindset.
And we talk about how this isactually a secret weapon.
And so when your athlete doesTell you what her goals are and
she's telling you things thatshe wants to accomplish and she
wants to do.
You can add in curiosityinducing questions, things like

(07:33):
what do you think makes thedifference when it comes to
achieving that goal?
Or how are you, how are yougonna put a plan in place in
order to get that?
What are you going to do?
You know, Just asking her, kindof reflecting back to her.
What do you think is necessary?
What do you think that you needto be doing that you're not
doing now to help you with that?
And that's also where you canadd in, things around the elite
mental game.

(07:53):
if that's what you're lookinginto to help her with this, you
can talk about how the bestathletes don't just train their
physical body, but they alsotrain their response to mistakes
and pressure.
All of those things are reallygood segues into how you can,
help her take more ownershipover this part of her game.
Okay, that is strategy two.
So number one was show her thatit's what's the best athletes
do.

(08:13):
Number two, connect all of thisto her goals that she has
already talked to you about.
Number three, start small withquick wins.
So If she feels like it's a lotof work, she's not going to do
it.
And honestly, that's why we'vedesigned the elite mental game
to be very quick.
Our videos inside EMG arebetween three, 15 minutes is
like the max.
I also was a former high schoolteacher.
I have a master's in education,so I don't do lectures.

(08:35):
I don't do boring.
So all of it is very engagingand applicable to athletes.
So we do that by design.
And it's on a really coolplatform that's really easy to
access.
But even understanding all that,if she's not going to see
results quickly, then she'sgonna bounce.
So we actually have a reallysimple way for your athlete to
get bought in a very fun waythrough a quiz that we have

(08:55):
developed.
And I will also link that quizinside the combo guide.
So you'll have that link below.
If you just click on that comboguide, the quiz is like the
first thing.
So we've developed a quiz calledwhat's your competitor style.
And this is really fun.
So athletes can take it becausethey learn a little bit about
themselves.
We have developed three stylesthat they can as results that
they can get.
So there is the comeback player.

(09:18):
There's the pressure player, andthen there's the self motivated
grinder.
So they answer seven questions,not very much.
They're very fast, and aftereach question, I do a little bit
of breadcrumbing into why mentaltraining is important.
So they answer, and then theyget like a 30 second, 15 second
video that's from me affirmingtheir choice, but then also,
like I said, bread crumbing howmental training is tied to this

(09:41):
part of their game.
It's a really great way for themto understand what mental
training is in a way that's funbecause they're learning about
themselves.
And then at the very end, if youare interested in the elite
mental game, I do talk about EMGas well as a next step.
So if you're like, I.
Want her to know what mentaltraining is.
I don't want to come across aspushy or like Making her seem
like something's wrong with herAnd then additionally i actually

(10:02):
do want her to get curious aboutemg But i'm having a hard time
figuring out how to talk aboutit This quiz is a really great
way because it includes All ofthose things and so the link for
the quiz like I said is insidethat combo guide and I will add
that Into the show notes.
It's also just a great thing forlike I said, for her to get
quick win, to learn aboutherself a little bit, and to
realize like maybe where theremight be some gaps in her
training that can actually helpher.

(10:23):
So, That is a great way.
And then you can also ask herlike, I'm curious what your
competitor's style is.
Do you agree with this?
Where do you think thisdescribes you?
Do you think it doesn't?
You know, it's just a reallygood segue to also talk to her
about this part of the game.
And so to have her take thequiz, You could text it to her.
You can say, Hey, if I cameacross this quiz all around,
figuring out what yourcompetitor style is.
I'm going to send it over to youand I'm curious what your result

(10:45):
is and what you find interestingabout this.
So also really good way.
We put a little blurbs insidethat conversation guided as well
to give you some talking pointson how to talk about the quiz
and about mental training ingeneral.
So.
Those are three quickstrategies.
This doesn't have to be abattle.
The other thing that I'llmention is if you are
considering the Elite MentalGame, we do have a discount for
podcast listeners.

(11:06):
Okay.
Because you're listening to thisepisode, we have a special link
for you to use if you want toget a discount on the Elite
Mental Game.
So That is in the show notes aswell.
It's elitecompetitor.
com forward slash EMG.
And if you are interested inthat, we actually take care of a
lot of buy in just inside theprogram.
So moms join, they're like,okay, I'm in.
And part of the program is alsofor parents themselves.

(11:27):
So you learn a lot around how tosupport your athlete.
And then we take care of the buyin once your athlete is inside
the program as well, becauselike I said, it tends to come a
little bit better coming from usthan you at times.
So I hope you're not taking anyoffense to that.
You've probably experienced thatalready.
As you're trying to navigatethis with your daughter.
So just know that about theprogram in general.
And the other thing is thatconversation guide, like I said,

(11:49):
has some sentence starters foryou to use.
So if you're like, I still amhaving a hard time like
connecting this to, her goals orbringing up how other athletes
are doing this.
We give you just sentencestarters that you can copy and
paste into your brain So thatyou can just say them with
confidence and you can alsotweak them depending on your
relationship with your daughterand what you think might work

(12:10):
for her.
Alright, I hope that washelpful.
As a recap, your threestrategies are show her that the
best athletes are doing this,connect it to their goals, and
also start small with thosequick wins.
One of the smallest ways you canstart is through our What's Your
Competitor Style Quiz.
All right, moms, I'm coach Bre,a mental performance coach for
girl athletes.
I will see you in the nextepisode of the Raising Elite

(12:32):
Competitors podcast.