July 8, 2025 • 39 mins
What happens when the sport you love starts to hurt you?
For many athletes, quitting isn’t just about giving up; it’s about choosing your wellbeing over the game. In this episode, Greer, a former Purdue University collegiate cheerleader, shares her raw and honest journey from excitement and confidence to frustration and tough decisions. What happens when coaching changes turn a dream team into a toxic environment? When does pushing through become too much? Greer’s story will challenge everything you think you know about quitting in sports.
In this episode, you’ll hear about:
- Growing up with anxiety and finding confidence through cheerleading
- The realities of college cheer recruiting and earning your spot
- How sudden coaching changes can shake a team to its core
- The difference between being an amazing athlete and an amazing coach
- Navigating toxic team dynamics and power struggles
- Taking a stand with Title IX and prioritizing mental health
- Why sometimes quitting is the bravest and healthiest choice
Ready to hear the full story and gain insights that every athlete and parent needs? Listen to the full episode now.
Episode Highlights:
[00:00] Standing at the Crossroads: To Quit or Not? Greer opens up about the difficult decision many athletes face: whether to keep going or walk away from a sport they love but that’s become challenging.
[04:15] Growing Up in Sports: Finding Confidence in Cheer. Greer shares how she balanced multiple sports growing up, ultimately finding her confidence and joy in cheerleading despite struggles with anxiety and perfectionism.
[09:30] Navigating College Cheer Recruiting. An inside look at how collegiate cheer recruiting works, including camps, tryouts, and how Purdue’s coaches saw potential in Greer even though she was still learning key skills.
[14:50] Freshman Year Highs: Support and Belonging. Greer describes the excitement of making the Purdue cheer team and feeling supported by coaches who believed in her potential.
[19:20] Freshman Year Lows: Coaching Changes and Team Turmoil. Just before tryouts, the original coaches left, and the new coaching staff struggled to lead, creating a toxic environment that fractured team dynamics.
[25:10] When Great Athletes Aren’t Great Coaches. Greer reflects on how the new coaches’ lack of experience and leadership skills negatively impacted the team culture and athlete wellbeing.
[30:45] Toxic Team Culture and Power Dynamics. Examples of how the new coaches pitted teammates against each other, dismissed academic priorities, and treated athletes disrespectfully.
[36:00] Taking a Stand: Speaking Up and Seeking Help. Greer recounts filing a Title IX complaint, seeking counseling, and advocating for herself despite the fear and uncertainty.
[41:30] Aftermath and Moving On. The problematic coaches were fired, but with ongoing instability, Greer made the difficult decision to quit cheer and focus on her mental health and academics.
[46:00] Lessons Learned: Prioritizing Wellbeing Over Sport. Greer’s final thoughts on the importance of respect, support, and knowing when walking away is the healthiest choice for an athlete’s future.
Next Steps:
- Join our FREE Training for Sports Moms - How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter's Mental Game so She Believes in Herself as Much as You Do
- Visit our podcast website for more great episodes
Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission and leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
If your athlete daughter hasever considered walking away or
quitting her sport, then thisepisode is for you or for her.
This is a great one for both ofyou to listen to because I had
the pleasure of sitting downwith Greer, who was a collegiate
cheerleader at PurdueUniversity, so I got to get an
insight into her story.
What led her to collegiateathletics and then ultimately
(00:22):
led her to walking away from hersport after her freshman season.
There's a lot of insight, a lotof nuggets in here that parents
can take away, but alsoathletes.
If you're on this journey andyou're like, I don't know if
it's worth it to keep going orif I should walk away, you're
gonna learn so much.
And if I have not met you, I'mCoach Bre.
(00:43):
I am a mental performance coachfor girl athletes, and this
podcast is for sports parents,but also for athletes.
This episode specifically is forathletes all who have the same
goal, to enjoy their sport, toget better, and to become
mentally stronger and confident.
Now, before I get into thisepisode, I wanna give a shout
out to a mom in our community.
This is a mom of an athletegoing through our signature
(01:03):
mental training program.
The elite mental game and sheposted this inside our private
community.
She said my daughter had a greatpractice and felt she was
mentally stronger by notdraining her battery, by being
super critical of herself whenshe made a mistake.
Now this is huge because I knowa lot of you, if you're an
athlete that's listening, youprobably struggle with some
(01:24):
level of perfectionism like Idid as an athlete.
And like so many have.
And if you're a parent, youprobably see this in your
athlete as well.
And it can be brutal.
It can be hard as an athlete tofeel like you're never.
You are never doing as good asyou wanna do.
You're constantly, you know,being critical of your
performance of yourself.
And to be able to have a momentwhere this athlete is like, she
felt like she was not drainingher battery because she's being
(01:47):
super critical.
Like she actually had a goodpractice and could.
Celebrate the things that weregoing well and not coming away,
just beating herself up.
Those are the types of thingsthat athletes learn how to do
inside our program, the EliteMental Game.
If you wanna learn more aboutthat, head to train her
game.com.
That's our free training wherewe talk about our methodology,
how we train the mental side ofthe game, and we also talk about
our program, the Elite MentalGame at the training.
(02:08):
All right, let's get into thisepisode with Greer.
I know that you're gonna enjoyit as much as I enjoyed chatting
with her.
Breanne Webinar (02:15):
All right.
Welcome Greer to the RaisingElite Competitors podcast.
Greer (02:19):
Hi.
Thanks for having me.
Breanne Webinar (02:21):
Yeah.
I'm so excited to have you on.
So I'm gonna let you do a quickintro of yourself, and then
we're going to get into it rightaway, because I'm just so
excited and thankful that you'recoming on to share your story
with parents and with athletesbecause it's so needed.
So will you introduce yourselfto our listeners?
Greer (02:41):
Hi, my name is Greer.
I am currently a senior atPurdue University.
I'm originally from Ohio, butthe last couple of years I've
been in Indiana.
I did collegiate cheer here atPurdue, so have a lot of
background to collegiate,sports, rec, sports, everything
under the umbrella of sports.
(03:03):
So I'm super excited to talk.
Breanne Webinar (03:05):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Greer has an amazing storythat, you're learning to own and
kind of write.
Your own ending to it.
And I'm really excited to diveinto that.
But another fun fact is thatGreer is interning for our
company this summer.
So she has been working for us,kind of behind the scenes and,
helping to optimize some thingsin our business.
And we're so thankful to haveher on our team.
(03:26):
Greer, what are you studying atPurdue?
Greer (03:28):
Psychology.
Breanne Webinar (03:30):
Right.
Awesome.
So this is also very much inalignment.
So, yeah,
Greer (03:34):
Yep.
Breanne Webinar (03:34):
let's start with your story.
Let's take us back.
Obviously you are an athlete.
Where did it start?
How did you start to fall inlove with, you know, the sport
that you ended up playing?
Collegiately.
Let's start there.
Greer (03:46):
So ever since I was little, my parents had me in
sports.
I am A DHD, anxiety to the max,so keeping me busy involved with
sports really helped justrelease a lot of.
Everything.
So I started out doing soccer,softball, and then I found my
way to dance and cheer.
I started cheering in fifthgrade, just doing rec cheer so
(04:09):
far, fifth grade basketballteam.
Nothing too crazy, just somechants on the side.
And then I did competition danceas well.
I did competition dance until myjunior year of high school.
All while doing that, I cheeredjust for my.
School, so just for my localschool through for football,
(04:29):
basketball.
But I never dipped my toes intocompetitive cheer, just wasn't
my thing.
I loved interacting with thecrowd.
Fast forward, I got to my junioryear of high school and I was
like, the goal was always todance in college, and dance was
something that I loved to do,but I was very hard on myself.
(04:50):
It got to the point where Iwasn't really enjoying it
because I was constantlycomparing myself.
And it was just, I wasn't inlove with it anymore.
And cheer was something that Ialways had just the best time
with.
I, not to sound conceited oranything, but I knew that I, was
doing a good job when I wascheering, and I knew that.
(05:14):
I had the skills and I wasgetting a little more praise for
cheer than I ever really got fordance.
And that's something that wasreally big for me.
So I decided, you know what?
I'm gonna cheer in college.
I knew for a long time I wasgonna do something in college
'cause I wasn't ready to give upmy give up sports.
I was like, I'm gonna cheer incollege.
And I had to learn absolutelyeverything.
(05:36):
I had only done high schoolcheer.
I didn't know how to stunt or doany of that.
So I learned all of that and Iwas like, we're doing college
cheer.
So that was kinda, I knew that Ifelt comfortable there.
It felt like home cheer feltlike home.
So I knew that had to be theright decision.
Breanne Webinar (05:53):
Yeah.
Okay.
So you decided you were going tocheer in college.
How does the recruiting processwork?
Or how does that happen?
So you ended up choosing to goto Purdue, which is, I mean, a
phenomenal school.
So how did that all cometogether?
I.
Greer (06:05):
Okay, so recruiting for cheer is a little bit different.
You see some bigger schools now,they started doing all
recruiting process, but to getrecruited you have to go to the
camps or clinics that they hold.
So just kind of like exactlylike how basketball, you have a
a u tournaments where you havecoaches that come or you have
(06:26):
shoot arounds or volleyballtournaments and there's, you
always know that there's coachescoming to watch.
So with cheer, yes.
Your coaches, sometimes they'lllike.
They'll go to your big, all startournaments and all star
competitions.
But the main thing forcollegiate cheer is attending
those camps and clinics thatthey hold.
(06:48):
So when I was going through theprocess, Purdue wasn't a full
recruiting school yet, so theystill did the tryout process,
but to get.
The chance to try out, you stillhad to get a bid, so you still
had to attend those clinics.
They had to see you, and they'relike, okay, this is worth giving
this girl a tryout or this guy atryout.
(07:09):
And it's different for everyschool.
Purdue has now switched to fullrecruiting, so it's more of just
emailing those videos, gettingyour, getting yourself on their
desk and attending those campsand clinics, seeing how you
interact with the team.
And all of that.
So that's really what I did.
I started going to camps andclinics at a bunch of different
(07:30):
schools just'cause I was in theprocess of learning everything
as well.
And I just, I clicked reallywell with the team here.
I loved the coaches.
A big thing for me was coachesseeing the potential that I had.
I wasn't perfect.
I was.
Far from perfect.
(07:51):
Actually, there was a lot that Ididn't know because of the fact
that Ohio is a ground boundstate, so I didn't know how to
do any of the stunting.
So I knew my game day was good.
I could dance, I could do the chI, my game day was perfect.
I was super confident with mygame day, but I had to learn all
of the stunting.
So it was a lot of coachesputting.
(08:15):
Their trust in me that, okay,this is a, this is an athlete
that's coachable, this is anathlete that wants to learn, and
that I can see potential in.
And I produced coaches saw thatin me and I, that meant the
world to me.
'cause I was like, I know thatI'll prove myself and they
believed in me.
So that was really what was thedeciding factor for Purdue as
(08:36):
well.
Breanne Webinar (08:37):
Yeah.
Okay, so you go to Purdue, youcheer your freshman year and
teaser spoil alert.
You're not cheering right now.
Greer (08:48):
Yes.
Breanne Webinar (08:49):
Right, so talk us through your experience.
I know that's a very big broadquestion, but how was your
collegiate experience, kind ofwhat happened?
Greer (08:58):
Yep.
So, like I said, I fell in lovewith the team, the team dynamic,
and.
Coaches, they saw that potentialin me.
They believed in me, and thatwas everything to me
Breanne Webinar (09:08):
I.
Greer (09:09):
right before tryouts.
Those coaches, got otheropportunities and they decided
to leave Purdue,
Breanne Webinar (09:16):
Mm.
Greer (09:17):
which was very, very big.
It was very sad, but at thatpoint I was already full on, I
had all my eggs in Purdue'sbasket and I was ready to go.
That's where I wanted to be and.
I put my trust in PurdueAthletics to get me and my
teammates a good coach.
I went through the tryoutprocess.
(09:37):
I made the team with interimcoaches.
We didn't get a coach untilJuly.
Now I had amazing upperclassmen,teammates who got us all
together over the summer.
We had practices.
We knew all the material.
By the time we got into coachesfor like teaching us things.
(09:57):
And we already knew everything.
We knew more than our coachescoming in.
Now the second these coachesstepped on campus, it was a
completely different world.
The team dynamic fell apart.
They were very young, and theyonly coached all star cheer.
They both were collegiatecheerleaders and absolutely
(10:18):
amazing athletes.
Some of the top cheerleaders inthe past couple of years.
Amazing.
But I've found that amazingathletes don't always make
amazing coaches and that's okay.
But when you're coming into thislevel of athletics and this
position, they were failing us alittle bit and not even a little
(10:41):
bit, a lot of it actually, notonly were they failing us,
Purdue Athletics was failing us,which is.
Very sad, but, it got handledeventually.
So with all of that, they just,they pinned athletes against
each other.
It was a competition betweenjust teammates, which isn't,
that's okay at some point, andin certain things, you want to
(11:05):
have your athletes push eachother, but it wasn't in a
healthy way.
It wasn't done the way it shouldhave been.
So the team dynamic fell apart.
They didn't really know the insand outs, which is, is
understandable.
I mean, you're stepping into anew position, you're not gonna
know everything.
But they weren't equipped orready to lead this big of a
(11:29):
program with this many athletes.
They wanted to push the athletesto the best of their abilities,
but they didn't see the need forthem to teach us.
It was Upperclassmen's job toteach new skills, and It was
okay for them to show up late togame days.
But if we were to express ourconcerns or.
(11:54):
Have exams or things that we hadto get done for school, which I
will always say education comesfirst.
'Cause at the end of the day,the sad truth is our sports will
end.
So education is always first.
As hard as that is sometimeswhen you have all these
practices and these games andthese competitions that you have
(12:14):
to compete and wanna do well,you still have to focus on your
academics, especially incollege, I.
it was really challengingbecause I'm like, I, at the end
of the day, I'm still a kid, butI also am trying to be treated
like an adult.
But it's really hard when theadult isn't acting like an adult
(12:35):
and you're in such a hardposition because this coach is
your boss.
Breanne Webinar (12:40):
Yeah.
Greer (12:42):
I am being treated like a toddler and I'm.
Not even being treated as ahuman being, which is a lot of
times what the case was.
If I tried to haveconversations, it was just, I
was told on countless occasionsthat I'm your coach, I can say
whatever I want to you.
And in the moment you're juststanding at practice in front of
(13:06):
your entire team and you'relike, well, I guess so.
Like I, I mean, I was constantlyput in situations of is that
okay?
Is it not okay?
And then I really had to sit andreflect and realize was I being
treated the way I should be justas a human?
So there were just a lot ofthings that, It was a constant
(13:28):
battle of fighting between.
g etting the respect that Ishould as an athlete, even
though my coach was my boss, Idid what they told me to do
because I was their employeemore or less.
But that's just a little bit of,there's so many other things of
(13:48):
certain cases that were incertain situations that had
happened, but.
All of it boils down to, justcoaching can make or break your
experience and a lot of timesthere's absolutely nothing you
can do.
In my case, I got fed up with itand I was like, this is not
(14:09):
okay.
I may be 18 and I'm away fromhome for the first time, and I'm
struggling to stay above water,but I'm not gonna allow myself
to.
Be treated this way anymore.
So I went to the offices, I wentto, I went to the head of our
(14:32):
spirit squad.
I went to Title nine.
I had to start seeing TeamPsych.
And I, made it clear of what washappening, and they ended up
getting fired after their firstyear.
After that, it was gonna be awhole nother round of trying out
and not knowing who our coachwas.
So I had to really, I had tomake the tough decision then to
(14:54):
decide to focus on me and mywellbeing and focus on
academics.
I.
Breanne Webinar (15:01):
Yeah.
Okay.
Wow.
Yeah, that's a lot.
And I mean, good for you becauseI think a lot of athletes do
have that question in the backof their mind.
They're like, is this okay or isit not?
There's a power dynamic and theyhear a lot from their coaches,
like, you can kind of dowhatever you want and.
Like coaching, like they get apass or something like that.
(15:21):
And so for you to be able torecognize like this doesn't feel
right and to take action, it'shuge because it sounds like it
made a difference also, for allof your teammates who are
returning.
So you made the decision foryourself to step away.
And then tell me about how itfelt after that.
Because I know as athletes, oursport can become our identity.
(15:41):
So, you know, tell me about,after.
Greer (15:44):
It was very, very challenging.
I felt like a failure that Igave up because I, it's still my
thing that I always say, like, Ilet.
I always say I let little peopledestroy what I had worked so
hard for,
Breanne Webinar (16:01):
Mm.
Greer (16:01):
and I for a while felt that I was weak and that I
failed myself.
I failed my town that was soproud of me for leaving a super
small town and going to the Big10.
I felt like I failed my parentsfor all the time and effort and
money they put in to get mehere.
(16:22):
It was just a lot of reflecting.
I kept having to look and say,you know what?
I had the most challenging andworst year of my life.
I lost myself.
My life fell apart.
I always say I planned for theworst things to happen, so I'm
not disappointed or upset, butcheer was kind of that one
thing.
I didn't plan to fall apart, sowhen it did, I called my mom
(16:45):
every single night, 10:00 PMevery night, bawling my eyes
out.
So I was struggling beyond evenimaginable, and I was so nervous
to tell my parents that I waslike, I just can't do this
anymore.
Like, it's not healthy for me.
It was affecting my mental stateand I.
(17:07):
I couldn't, I had to really tellmyself that.
Like I said, at the end of theday, athletics will end as
terrible and as sucky as thatis, we never want our sport to
end because we've been doing itfor so long.
And like you said, that's ouridentity.
That's what we eat, sleep, andbreathe our sports.
(17:27):
And we put all of our being andall of our energy into those
sports because that's.
That's what we care about themost.
That's why we do it.
That's, we love it.
And I think especially meworking so hard to get to that
level and just it being done, Istill carry a good amount of
(17:51):
guilt of should I havetransferred?
Should I have just been a littlebit tougher and said, you know
what, let's give it a shot.
Let's put our trust in Purdueand hope we get a good coach's
time.
But it's always gonna be thewhat ifs you're never gonna know
the right decision to make inthe moment.
And a thing that I kind of carrywith me now after all of that
(18:14):
is, a little phrase of maybe so,maybe not.
And it just reminds me that youare never gonna know the
consequences of actions.
But when you are tasked withmaking decisions that are.
Gonna affect you and have a bigpart of your life change.
(18:35):
Just go with what you think isgonna be best for you at the end
of the day.
And I really do think that itwas a good decision to, to let
it go and say, you know what,I'm gonna focus on me.
I do miss it.
I miss it.
A great amount, but it's alsokind of hard when I got to
(18:59):
college cheer with collegiatecheer, it was a very different
world, than what I was doing inhigh school.
So I always say I miss it, butit's also very difficult to miss
something that was so terriblelike I miss being at the
football games.
When I go to the football games,it makes me sad not being down
there because I lovedinteracting with fans and just
(19:22):
little kids looking up to you asjust the greatest thing in the
whole world.
It's a feeling that I wish tofeel forever.
But everything outside of thatwas terrible and it was a break
in just everything being donewith it.
(19:43):
I could breathe, I could relax.
I didn't have constant pressuresof what is my coach gonna text
me?
What is this repercussion gonnabe because I'm sick?
Am I gonna get in trouble again?
'cause I'm sick?
Breanne Webinar (19:57):
Right.
Greer (19:58):
that happened.
You weren't allowed to be sick.
I mean, I.
I got sick in the beginning ofthe year and that's what started
it all, and it wasn't somethingof just a cold.
It was I had to go to the doctorand like, it just, yeah.
So that's, yeah.
Breanne Webinar (20:19):
It sounds like it was the right, I mean,
obviously that comes withanything, you know, any decision
that we make.
There's, there's the good andthen there's the overwhelming,
not good, but you know, that'spart of it.
And we teach athletes all thetime that like the greatest
skill you can have isadaptability.
And I feel like that's, andresilience really, but
adaptability meaning like youdon't know, like you said, you
(20:42):
don't know how this decision isgoing to play out, but.
Your core belief about yourselfis that you know, you're
adaptable.
You can face whatever comes andit really is gonna be okay.
And so.
I know that there are athleteswho are listening and there's
probably parents of athletes whoare listening who are also
stuck.
And I will also say this wasn'tlike a rash decision that you
made.
It sounds like this is somethingyou really thought through.
(21:03):
It wasn't like, that's it, I'mquitting.
It was like, you really put alot of thought into this.
So, any advice that you wouldgive to athletes who are stuck
in, maybe in a similar position?
Not, maybe not at college, butmaybe in high school where
they're stuck between like.
Either, you know, is it justpushing through?
Do I just need to push throughor is this something that I need
(21:24):
to step away from?
Um, yeah.
Anything there that you can shed
Greer (21:29):
I, I think that's, again, that's a super difficult thing
to have to go through and you'renot alone.
A lot of athletes go throughthat.
But I think especially atyounger and stages before you
get to college, if that, if youhave your goals, really take the
(21:49):
time to say, okay, is thissomething that's permanent?
Because a lot of the time it'snot, you're not gonna have this
coach forever.
You're not gonna have theseteammates forever.
But if it is affecting you somuch that you are, you don't
wanna be at school.
You don't wanna do anything, youdon't wanna go to practice.
(22:09):
You're upset before practice,you're upset before games.
Have conversations with yourparents, have conversations with
friends that are outside of,this team or this sport or just.
Anyone that you have a closerelationship, have conversations
and explain what you're goingthrough and let them give you
their insight.
(22:30):
I know sometimes we don't wannahear other people's opinions.
Most of the time I know I don'twanna hear other people's
opinion'cause I'm like, it's notyour life.
You don't know.
But I think that is verybeneficial because you can get
an out of the box outsideperspective, and that doesn't
always make it easier.
(22:50):
But it, a little bits of thosethings they say will go into
your brain a little bit, whetheryou want them to or not, and you
can kind of gain otherperspectives.
And like I said, it is neverpermanent.
So if you have those dreams andgoals, if sometimes you have to
suffer a little bit, sometimesit's kind of that thing of
(23:12):
chosen suffering.
You, you are choosing.
To get better and better toreach those goals.
So you're not gonna have thegreatest teammates.
Sometimes you're not gonna havethe greatest coaches, but I
don't want my story to say,well, okay, maybe it's just
something I need to step awayfrom.
I was to the point that I waslike, you know what, I'm in
(23:34):
college and I've done it for areally long time at this point,
and I did all the steps to gethere.
And I'm choosing to be here todo this.
I'm choosing to go to thisschool and compete for these
people.
And I think at this point I'mokay with just being a regular
(23:57):
person now.
And, but I don't think Iwould've given up those things
until I reached those goals.
'cause I would never have beenable to.
Be okay with myself just lettinggo at a younger stage.
But I think the biggest thing isalways just to remember it's not
permanent.
And if you have to do a littlebit of chosen suffering to push
(24:20):
through, you can do it.
But you can do anything you putyour mind to if that's truly
what you want.
But if it's not what you want,it's okay to step away.
People might be a little sad,but.
Everyone's still gonna love you.
Your teammates are gonnaunderstand, your parents are
gonna love you.
Your coaches will understandbecause again, at the end of the
(24:42):
day, athletics end, and eventhough we think athletics is the
end all, be all, we think oursport is everything in this
world.
We do feel that, and that'stotally valid, but it's not
everything.
Sports are not everything, andthe world's gonna keep spinning
and.
(25:03):
Your life's gonna continue to bejust as great with or without
your sport.
Breanne Webinar (25:10):
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that's greatbecause we do get tied up in
that, like this is.
This is the meaning of life andlot sports do help us develop a
lot of skills and, you know, allof that.
But it's not, and I'm curioushow your parents responded to,
were they supportive?
Were, was there anything youwish they would have done
through the process?
Greer (25:31):
I think it was, a lot of the issues that I had throughout
the year, I kept kind of tomyself.
I wanted to try to handle it onmy own.
I didn't, which there wereissues that most definitely
could have.
Been handled by my parents andmaybe should have been handled
by my parents, because they werethat big of issues and things
(25:56):
going on.
But I wanted to be an adult.
I wanted to handle it on my own.
And I eventually, my parentskind of knew about everything
and they were just, my dad wasfed up with it.
My dad wanted to go into theoffices, and I'm like, okay,
that's gonna make my situationworse.
Like.
We don't need that.
Let me, I got this undercontrol.
If I need you guys, I will tellyou, my mom at the end of it
(26:20):
was, she understood.
I mean, like I said, I calledher every single night, just
bawling my eyes out and I canonly imagine how stressful and
hard that is as a parent.
And especially her being away.
I'm an only child, so I'm likeher, everything.
So I'm away from home for thefirst time and.
So she was really in it with metoo.
(26:41):
So I think it was a big reliefon her and I, but she still, she
misses it maybe a little bitmore than I do.
But that goes with dance too.
When I stop dancing, she stillmisses that so much and she'll
reminisce and watch videos andshow me pictures.
But your parents are alwaysgonna support you.
Especially when it comes to justyour wellbeing.
(27:03):
Your parents are gonna be therefor you, they're gonna support
you.
They may not be happy.
I mean, they're probablyspending a lot of money.
They're, they're traveling,they're going to states, they're
going to tournaments.
They're, I mean, they are justas involved in your sport as you
are.
So you kind of have to realize,okay, they're grieving this a
little bit too.
Which I know being young is notan easy thing to.
(27:25):
You're like, okay, you're theparent.
Like, I'm stopping the sport.
Why are you upset?
But they're just as involved asyou are.
So you kind of have to, it'sanother one of those.
Take an outside look and look atit from the outside and say,
okay, well they were taking meto every practice.
They were at every game.
They saw the blood, sweat, andtears.
So they have to grieve that tooa little bit.
(27:47):
And we kind of have to let them,even though we're like, come on,
it's my sport.
But.
Breanne Webinar (27:52):
Yeah, I get that.
Yeah, that's hard.
And I think though parents thatare listening, what I'm hearing
from your parents was that theydidn't automatically say like,
don't quit.
Don't quit.
Because I think that would be, Imean, for me, because I have a
similar story, where I walkedaway from my sport, for a bit.
And like if my parents would, ifI would've come to them and been
(28:15):
like, I'm thinking aboutquitting, or I'm really having a
hard time.
And my parents were like, youcan't quit.
Can't, it's not an option.
You know, I probably would'vestopped coming to them and, I
would've probably internalized alot more and them just being
open.
I don't know if this is yourexperience too, to like, listen,
because when we hear that asparents, I mean, I have kids
that are playing sports too, andI think our gut reaction is
(28:37):
like, I've invested so muchtime, so much money.
I like this sport.
You're good at it.
You know, like, why would youwanna quit?
Or maybe it even is a familyvalue that like, you don't quit
things in the middle of theseason or whatever.
And so I think we have to, asparents, like realize that our
gut reaction needs to be to likeput aside our initial feelings
and like, listen.
And just listen to what theexperience is so that our kids
(29:00):
can keep coming to us and nothave to like shove everything
down or things like that.
So, I don't know if that wasyour experience too,
Greer (29:05):
Yes, definitely.
And that's something that I'vealso just like outside of
necessarily athletics oreverything, like I have a really
good relationship with my momand sometimes there's instances
that I'm like, mom, I just needyou to sit.
I need you to hear me.
I need you to just sit back alittle bit and hear what I'm
saying.
(29:26):
Then I need you to process itbefore you decide to react.
And that goes with everything.
But like, especially withathletics, because a lot of the
times if we're coming to ourparents, we're already in a
frantic of like, something's notgoing well.
So we're already stressed, we'realready upset, and we really
just need space to.
(29:47):
Have your parents like, hear usout.
Like just hear me out, hear whatI'm going through, hear how I'm
feeling.
And I think that makes all ofthe difference.
Breanne Webinar (29:56):
Yeah, for sure.
Okay.
I have a couple more questionsas we wrap this up.
Now you are studying psychology,you're working for us, you know,
so you're clearly passionateabout the mental side of sports
and you know, confidence in girlathletes.
Are there skills that you wishyou would've had, you know, as
an athlete, either in highschool and college, and do you
(30:18):
think it would've made anydifference?
Can you just go there?
Greer (30:21):
Oh my goodness.
I say to you guys all the time,I'm constantly saying to
Christina, uh, I wish that I hadthis program when I was in my
rec sports, when I was incompetition sports, and when I
was in college.
I going through the program, asI'm working with you guys over
the summer and just everythingthat I'm taking outta the
(30:46):
program now and learning I amusing in my day-to-day life, and
I am.
Breanne Webinar (30:51):
Cool.
Greer (30:52):
Everything that I'm doing now is so much easier'cause I'm
using the breath work and thatwas always something that I kind
of had,'cause I, anxiety, A DHD,I'm always like breath in,
breath in the blue skies, blowout the gray skies.
But the hot cocoa breaths, thevisualization, I really lost the
visualization.
And I started doing that again.
(31:13):
And just the program helps inall aspects of life and.
Even being out of athletics nowand going through it, it's, it
helps with work, it helps withclass, it helps with me driving
and people are not knowing howto drive.
Like just absolutely everythingin life it's beneficial for.
(31:34):
And it teaches you so manyskills and values that you just
need as a person, as a girl, asan athlete.
So I'm very grateful for that.
But another thing that I thinkis.
Really awesome is how you cancontinue to go through the
program multiple times and asyou go through them, you're
(31:56):
always in different stages oflife.
You're gonna have differentissues and different challenges.
So when you go through theprogram, you're automatically
gonna put your focus to thatissue that you have going on at
the time.
So it's, it's a continualprogram that you can continue to
do, and it's gonna help in everyaspect because.
Every aspect of your life,you're gonna have different
(32:17):
challenges, which you're gonnafocus those skills on, if that
makes sense.
So it's like an ever goingprogram that you continue, you
can continue to use becauseyou're gonna continue to have
different challenges in everyaspect of life.
And that goes with athletics orwithout?
Breanne Webinar (32:35):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I'm so glad then that youhave the skills now and, um, you
know, parents that arelistening, I hope you find
relief in that too.
Whether you're considering theelite mental game that's our
program or not, that yeah, theseskills are absolutely applicable
to your daughter's sport.
That's why we created it.
But like, the ultimate reasonwhy we created it is because it
(32:57):
goes well beyond sport.
And, yeah, like ER said.
Using it in situa.
And that's almost even, that'salmost like more impactful
because it's like your dailylife, your daily happiness, like
how you view things, all ofthat.
And yeah, I can't think ofanything as a parent that I
would want more for my kids.
Not that it's important for themto be happy all the time, but be
(33:17):
able to have the skills tonavigate the tough stuff like
that is really where it's at.
Greer (33:21):
Yeah.
I think the biggest thing islife's not always gonna go your
way, and that's hard.
And there's things that youcan't control, and I.
If you have those skills andyou, you don't have to have
these skills perfected either.
Like it's totally okay, but aslong as you kind of have that
(33:41):
toolbox of, okay, I have theseskills in my back pocket, I
might not be great at'em.
They might not be perfected, butyou still have that toolbox so
you can pick parts out and youstill have that skill in your
head to say, okay.
I can use this.
I can breathe a little bit.
I can visualize how I want thisto play out or how I can respond
(34:05):
to certain things playing out,and that goes to everything.
Breanne Webinar (34:08):
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
Well, Greer, this has beenamazing.
Thank you so much for sharingyour story, for being
vulnerable.
Know that.
It has impacted, I mean, youcame into our community and you
spoke to our athletes who aregoing through the program, and
so they were able to be inspiredand encouraged by you.
Same with parents.
So while sometimes walking awayfrom your sport might seem like,
(34:31):
oh, that's tough.
Like that decision now haspositively impacted so many
people because you've chosen touse it that way.
Greer (34:40):
I can fill my bucket in other ways now, and it's as just
as fulfilling as being on thefield or being in an arena.
So, if you don't mind, I have mytop five like advice, things
that I wanted to tell on theathlete call and I completely
forgot, but I have my top fivesthat are like my everythings.
Breanne Webinar (35:03):
I would.
Greer (35:04):
the first, the first one is find your why.
Why are you doing this sport?
Like I said, the little girlsand the every little kid looking
up to me and just thinking I wasthe most amazing thing in the
world.
'cause I was that little kidonce.
That was kind of my why.
And always focus on your why.
My second one is control thecontrollables.
(35:26):
Like we said, you're, there'ssome things that you don't have
any control over and that'shard, but.
You do have control over a lotof things, so focus on those.
My third one is be kind.
Always be kind.
If you are true to yourself, youare kind to others.
At least you know that you arebeing your best self and
(35:48):
whatever else happens.
However else, however peoplereact to you, is outta your
control because you are beingkind and you are being your best
self.
My fourth one is be accountable.
Be accountable to yourteammates.
Be accountable to.
If your coaches be accountablefor yourself, if you make
mistakes, own up to it.
(36:08):
If your teammates make mistakes,help them.
Help them improve.
Another big thing is, I alwayssay that, I don't know if it's
the best thing to say, butyou're only as strong as your
weakest teammate, so.
don't put down any of yourteammates.
Like help them if you see ateammate struggling, don't just
push'em to the side and say,well, because they're still on
(36:29):
your team.
They're a part of your team.
So help them, help them grow.
And that goes with being kind.
And my fifth one is never letanyone dim your light, all your
sparkle, or steal your joy.
Breanne Webinar (36:41):
Oh, I love this.
Do you need to like have thisframed somewhere?
You can write these down.
Oh, good for all athletes.
Um, for sure.
And I mean for me too.
I'm like, those are good.
Those, those are good.
Top five.
Why know your why?
Control the controllables.
Be accountable or sorry.
Be kind.
Be accountable.
(37:02):
Never will let anyone sparkle ordim your, dim your joy.
Dim your sparkle.
That right?
Greer (37:06):
Yeah.
Yep.
Pretty much.
Breanne Webinar (37:10):
All right, gr.
Well, this has been awesome.
Thank you again so much, um, forsharing your story.
I know that it's inspiredparents and athletes listening,
so thank you.
Greer (37:19):
Thank you for having me.
If your athlete daughter hasever considered walking away or
quitting her sport, then thisepisode is for you or for her.
This is a great one for both ofyou to listen to because I had
the pleasure of sitting downwith Greer, who was a collegiate
cheerleader at PurdueUniversity, so I got to get an
insight into her story.
What led her to collegiateathletics and then ultimately
(00:22):
led her to walking away from hersport after her freshman season.
There's a lot of insight, a lotof nuggets in here that parents
can take away, but alsoathletes.
If you're on this journey andyou're like, I don't know if
it's worth it to keep going orif I should walk away, you're
gonna learn so much.
And if I have not met you, I'mCoach Bre.
(00:43):
I am a mental performance coachfor girl athletes, and this
podcast is for sports parents,but also for athletes.
This episode specifically is forathletes all who have the same
goal, to enjoy their sport, toget better, and to become
mentally stronger and confident.
Now, before I get into thisepisode, I wanna give a shout
out to a mom in our community.
This is a mom of an athletegoing through our signature
(01:03):
mental training program.
The elite mental game and sheposted this inside our private
community.
She said my daughter had a greatpractice and felt she was
mentally stronger by notdraining her battery, by being
super critical of herself whenshe made a mistake.
Now this is huge because I knowa lot of you, if you're an
athlete that's listening, youprobably struggle with some
(01:24):
level of perfectionism like Idid as an athlete.
And like so many have.
And if you're a parent, youprobably see this in your
athlete as well.
And it can be brutal.
It can be hard as an athlete tofeel like you're never.
You are never doing as good asyou wanna do.
You're constantly, you know,being critical of your
performance of yourself.
And to be able to have a momentwhere this athlete is like, she
felt like she was not drainingher battery because she's being
(01:47):
super critical.
Like she actually had a goodpractice and could.
Celebrate the things that weregoing well and not coming away,
just beating herself up.
Those are the types of thingsthat athletes learn how to do
inside our program, the EliteMental Game.
If you wanna learn more aboutthat, head to train her
game.com.
That's our free training wherewe talk about our methodology,
how we train the mental side ofthe game, and we also talk about
our program, the Elite MentalGame at the training.
(02:08):
All right, let's get into thisepisode with Greer.
I know that you're gonna enjoyit as much as I enjoyed chatting
with her.
Breanne Webinar (02:15):
All right.
Welcome Greer to the RaisingElite Competitors podcast.
Greer (02:19):
Hi.
Thanks for having me.
Breanne Webinar (02:21):
Yeah.
I'm so excited to have you on.
So I'm gonna let you do a quickintro of yourself, and then
we're going to get into it rightaway, because I'm just so
excited and thankful that you'recoming on to share your story
with parents and with athletesbecause it's so needed.
So will you introduce yourselfto our listeners?
Greer (02:41):
Hi, my name is Greer.
I am currently a senior atPurdue University.
I'm originally from Ohio, butthe last couple of years I've
been in Indiana.
I did collegiate cheer here atPurdue, so have a lot of
background to collegiate,sports, rec, sports, everything
under the umbrella of sports.
(03:03):
So I'm super excited to talk.
Breanne Webinar (03:05):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Greer has an amazing storythat, you're learning to own and
kind of write.
Your own ending to it.
And I'm really excited to diveinto that.
But another fun fact is thatGreer is interning for our
company this summer.
So she has been working for us,kind of behind the scenes and,
helping to optimize some thingsin our business.
And we're so thankful to haveher on our team.
(03:26):
Greer, what are you studying atPurdue?
Greer (03:28):
Psychology.
Breanne Webinar (03:30):
Right.
Awesome.
So this is also very much inalignment.
So, yeah,
Greer (03:34):
Yep.
Breanne Webinar (03:34):
let's start with your story.
Let's take us back.
Obviously you are an athlete.
Where did it start?
How did you start to fall inlove with, you know, the sport
that you ended up playing?
Collegiately.
Let's start there.
Greer (03:46):
So ever since I was little, my parents had me in
sports.
I am A DHD, anxiety to the max,so keeping me busy involved with
sports really helped justrelease a lot of.
Everything.
So I started out doing soccer,softball, and then I found my
way to dance and cheer.
I started cheering in fifthgrade, just doing rec cheer so
(04:09):
far, fifth grade basketballteam.
Nothing too crazy, just somechants on the side.
And then I did competition danceas well.
I did competition dance until myjunior year of high school.
All while doing that, I cheeredjust for my.
School, so just for my localschool through for football,
(04:29):
basketball.
But I never dipped my toes intocompetitive cheer, just wasn't
my thing.
I loved interacting with thecrowd.
Fast forward, I got to my junioryear of high school and I was
like, the goal was always todance in college, and dance was
something that I loved to do,but I was very hard on myself.
(04:50):
It got to the point where Iwasn't really enjoying it
because I was constantlycomparing myself.
And it was just, I wasn't inlove with it anymore.
And cheer was something that Ialways had just the best time
with.
I, not to sound conceited oranything, but I knew that I, was
doing a good job when I wascheering, and I knew that.
(05:14):
I had the skills and I wasgetting a little more praise for
cheer than I ever really got fordance.
And that's something that wasreally big for me.
So I decided, you know what?
I'm gonna cheer in college.
I knew for a long time I wasgonna do something in college
'cause I wasn't ready to give upmy give up sports.
I was like, I'm gonna cheer incollege.
And I had to learn absolutelyeverything.
(05:36):
I had only done high schoolcheer.
I didn't know how to stunt or doany of that.
So I learned all of that and Iwas like, we're doing college
cheer.
So that was kinda, I knew that Ifelt comfortable there.
It felt like home cheer feltlike home.
So I knew that had to be theright decision.
Breanne Webinar (05:53):
Yeah.
Okay.
So you decided you were going tocheer in college.
How does the recruiting processwork?
Or how does that happen?
So you ended up choosing to goto Purdue, which is, I mean, a
phenomenal school.
So how did that all cometogether?
I.
Greer (06:05):
Okay, so recruiting for cheer is a little bit different.
You see some bigger schools now,they started doing all
recruiting process, but to getrecruited you have to go to the
camps or clinics that they hold.
So just kind of like exactlylike how basketball, you have a
a u tournaments where you havecoaches that come or you have
(06:26):
shoot arounds or volleyballtournaments and there's, you
always know that there's coachescoming to watch.
So with cheer, yes.
Your coaches, sometimes they'lllike.
They'll go to your big, all startournaments and all star
competitions.
But the main thing forcollegiate cheer is attending
those camps and clinics thatthey hold.
(06:48):
So when I was going through theprocess, Purdue wasn't a full
recruiting school yet, so theystill did the tryout process,
but to get.
The chance to try out, you stillhad to get a bid, so you still
had to attend those clinics.
They had to see you, and they'relike, okay, this is worth giving
this girl a tryout or this guy atryout.
(07:09):
And it's different for everyschool.
Purdue has now switched to fullrecruiting, so it's more of just
emailing those videos, gettingyour, getting yourself on their
desk and attending those campsand clinics, seeing how you
interact with the team.
And all of that.
So that's really what I did.
I started going to camps andclinics at a bunch of different
(07:30):
schools just'cause I was in theprocess of learning everything
as well.
And I just, I clicked reallywell with the team here.
I loved the coaches.
A big thing for me was coachesseeing the potential that I had.
I wasn't perfect.
I was.
Far from perfect.
(07:51):
Actually, there was a lot that Ididn't know because of the fact
that Ohio is a ground boundstate, so I didn't know how to
do any of the stunting.
So I knew my game day was good.
I could dance, I could do the chI, my game day was perfect.
I was super confident with mygame day, but I had to learn all
of the stunting.
So it was a lot of coachesputting.
(08:15):
Their trust in me that, okay,this is a, this is an athlete
that's coachable, this is anathlete that wants to learn, and
that I can see potential in.
And I produced coaches saw thatin me and I, that meant the
world to me.
'cause I was like, I know thatI'll prove myself and they
believed in me.
So that was really what was thedeciding factor for Purdue as
(08:36):
well.
Breanne Webinar (08:37):
Yeah.
Okay, so you go to Purdue, youcheer your freshman year and
teaser spoil alert.
You're not cheering right now.
Greer (08:48):
Yes.
Breanne Webinar (08:49):
Right, so talk us through your experience.
I know that's a very big broadquestion, but how was your
collegiate experience, kind ofwhat happened?
Greer (08:58):
Yep.
So, like I said, I fell in lovewith the team, the team dynamic,
and.
Coaches, they saw that potentialin me.
They believed in me, and thatwas everything to me
Breanne Webinar (09:08):
I.
Greer (09:09):
right before tryouts.
Those coaches, got otheropportunities and they decided
to leave Purdue,
Breanne Webinar (09:16):
Mm.
Greer (09:17):
which was very, very big.
It was very sad, but at thatpoint I was already full on, I
had all my eggs in Purdue'sbasket and I was ready to go.
That's where I wanted to be and.
I put my trust in PurdueAthletics to get me and my
teammates a good coach.
I went through the tryoutprocess.
(09:37):
I made the team with interimcoaches.
We didn't get a coach untilJuly.
Now I had amazing upperclassmen,teammates who got us all
together over the summer.
We had practices.
We knew all the material.
By the time we got into coachesfor like teaching us things.
(09:57):
And we already knew everything.
We knew more than our coachescoming in.
Now the second these coachesstepped on campus, it was a
completely different world.
The team dynamic fell apart.
They were very young, and theyonly coached all star cheer.
They both were collegiatecheerleaders and absolutely
(10:18):
amazing athletes.
Some of the top cheerleaders inthe past couple of years.
Amazing.
But I've found that amazingathletes don't always make
amazing coaches and that's okay.
But when you're coming into thislevel of athletics and this
position, they were failing us alittle bit and not even a little
(10:41):
bit, a lot of it actually, notonly were they failing us,
Purdue Athletics was failing us,which is.
Very sad, but, it got handledeventually.
So with all of that, they just,they pinned athletes against
each other.
It was a competition betweenjust teammates, which isn't,
that's okay at some point, andin certain things, you want to
(11:05):
have your athletes push eachother, but it wasn't in a
healthy way.
It wasn't done the way it shouldhave been.
So the team dynamic fell apart.
They didn't really know the insand outs, which is, is
understandable.
I mean, you're stepping into anew position, you're not gonna
know everything.
But they weren't equipped orready to lead this big of a
(11:29):
program with this many athletes.
They wanted to push the athletesto the best of their abilities,
but they didn't see the need forthem to teach us.
It was Upperclassmen's job toteach new skills, and It was
okay for them to show up late togame days.
But if we were to express ourconcerns or.
(11:54):
Have exams or things that we hadto get done for school, which I
will always say education comesfirst.
'Cause at the end of the day,the sad truth is our sports will
end.
So education is always first.
As hard as that is sometimeswhen you have all these
practices and these games andthese competitions that you have
(12:14):
to compete and wanna do well,you still have to focus on your
academics, especially incollege, I.
it was really challengingbecause I'm like, I, at the end
of the day, I'm still a kid, butI also am trying to be treated
like an adult.
But it's really hard when theadult isn't acting like an adult
(12:35):
and you're in such a hardposition because this coach is
your boss.
Breanne Webinar (12:40):
Yeah.
Greer (12:42):
I am being treated like a toddler and I'm.
Not even being treated as ahuman being, which is a lot of
times what the case was.
If I tried to haveconversations, it was just, I
was told on countless occasionsthat I'm your coach, I can say
whatever I want to you.
And in the moment you're juststanding at practice in front of
(13:06):
your entire team and you'relike, well, I guess so.
Like I, I mean, I was constantlyput in situations of is that
okay?
Is it not okay?
And then I really had to sit andreflect and realize was I being
treated the way I should be justas a human?
So there were just a lot ofthings that, It was a constant
(13:28):
battle of fighting between.
g etting the respect that Ishould as an athlete, even
though my coach was my boss, Idid what they told me to do
because I was their employeemore or less.
But that's just a little bit of,there's so many other things of
(13:48):
certain cases that were incertain situations that had
happened, but.
All of it boils down to, justcoaching can make or break your
experience and a lot of timesthere's absolutely nothing you
can do.
In my case, I got fed up with itand I was like, this is not
(14:09):
okay.
I may be 18 and I'm away fromhome for the first time, and I'm
struggling to stay above water,but I'm not gonna allow myself
to.
Be treated this way anymore.
So I went to the offices, I wentto, I went to the head of our
(14:32):
spirit squad.
I went to Title nine.
I had to start seeing TeamPsych.
And I, made it clear of what washappening, and they ended up
getting fired after their firstyear.
After that, it was gonna be awhole nother round of trying out
and not knowing who our coachwas.
So I had to really, I had tomake the tough decision then to
(14:54):
decide to focus on me and mywellbeing and focus on
academics.
I.
Breanne Webinar (15:01):
Yeah.
Okay.
Wow.
Yeah, that's a lot.
And I mean, good for you becauseI think a lot of athletes do
have that question in the backof their mind.
They're like, is this okay or isit not?
There's a power dynamic and theyhear a lot from their coaches,
like, you can kind of dowhatever you want and.
Like coaching, like they get apass or something like that.
(15:21):
And so for you to be able torecognize like this doesn't feel
right and to take action, it'shuge because it sounds like it
made a difference also, for allof your teammates who are
returning.
So you made the decision foryourself to step away.
And then tell me about how itfelt after that.
Because I know as athletes, oursport can become our identity.
(15:41):
So, you know, tell me about,after.
Greer (15:44):
It was very, very challenging.
I felt like a failure that Igave up because I, it's still my
thing that I always say, like, Ilet.
I always say I let little peopledestroy what I had worked so
hard for,
Breanne Webinar (16:01):
Mm.
Greer (16:01):
and I for a while felt that I was weak and that I
failed myself.
I failed my town that was soproud of me for leaving a super
small town and going to the Big10.
I felt like I failed my parentsfor all the time and effort and
money they put in to get mehere.
(16:22):
It was just a lot of reflecting.
I kept having to look and say,you know what?
I had the most challenging andworst year of my life.
I lost myself.
My life fell apart.
I always say I planned for theworst things to happen, so I'm
not disappointed or upset, butcheer was kind of that one
thing.
I didn't plan to fall apart, sowhen it did, I called my mom
(16:45):
every single night, 10:00 PMevery night, bawling my eyes
out.
So I was struggling beyond evenimaginable, and I was so nervous
to tell my parents that I waslike, I just can't do this
anymore.
Like, it's not healthy for me.
It was affecting my mental stateand I.
(17:07):
I couldn't, I had to really tellmyself that.
Like I said, at the end of theday, athletics will end as
terrible and as sucky as thatis, we never want our sport to
end because we've been doing itfor so long.
And like you said, that's ouridentity.
That's what we eat, sleep, andbreathe our sports.
(17:27):
And we put all of our being andall of our energy into those
sports because that's.
That's what we care about themost.
That's why we do it.
That's, we love it.
And I think especially meworking so hard to get to that
level and just it being done, Istill carry a good amount of
(17:51):
guilt of should I havetransferred?
Should I have just been a littlebit tougher and said, you know
what, let's give it a shot.
Let's put our trust in Purdueand hope we get a good coach's
time.
But it's always gonna be thewhat ifs you're never gonna know
the right decision to make inthe moment.
And a thing that I kind of carrywith me now after all of that
(18:14):
is, a little phrase of maybe so,maybe not.
And it just reminds me that youare never gonna know the
consequences of actions.
But when you are tasked withmaking decisions that are.
Gonna affect you and have a bigpart of your life change.
(18:35):
Just go with what you think isgonna be best for you at the end
of the day.
And I really do think that itwas a good decision to, to let
it go and say, you know what,I'm gonna focus on me.
I do miss it.
I miss it.
A great amount, but it's alsokind of hard when I got to
(18:59):
college cheer with collegiatecheer, it was a very different
world, than what I was doing inhigh school.
So I always say I miss it, butit's also very difficult to miss
something that was so terriblelike I miss being at the
football games.
When I go to the football games,it makes me sad not being down
there because I lovedinteracting with fans and just
(19:22):
little kids looking up to you asjust the greatest thing in the
whole world.
It's a feeling that I wish tofeel forever.
But everything outside of thatwas terrible and it was a break
in just everything being donewith it.
(19:43):
I could breathe, I could relax.
I didn't have constant pressuresof what is my coach gonna text
me?
What is this repercussion gonnabe because I'm sick?
Am I gonna get in trouble again?
'cause I'm sick?
Breanne Webinar (19:57):
Right.
Greer (19:58):
that happened.
You weren't allowed to be sick.
I mean, I.
I got sick in the beginning ofthe year and that's what started
it all, and it wasn't somethingof just a cold.
It was I had to go to the doctorand like, it just, yeah.
So that's, yeah.
Breanne Webinar (20:19):
It sounds like it was the right, I mean,
obviously that comes withanything, you know, any decision
that we make.
There's, there's the good andthen there's the overwhelming,
not good, but you know, that'spart of it.
And we teach athletes all thetime that like the greatest
skill you can have isadaptability.
And I feel like that's, andresilience really, but
adaptability meaning like youdon't know, like you said, you
(20:42):
don't know how this decision isgoing to play out, but.
Your core belief about yourselfis that you know, you're
adaptable.
You can face whatever comes andit really is gonna be okay.
And so.
I know that there are athleteswho are listening and there's
probably parents of athletes whoare listening who are also
stuck.
And I will also say this wasn'tlike a rash decision that you
made.
It sounds like this is somethingyou really thought through.
(21:03):
It wasn't like, that's it, I'mquitting.
It was like, you really put alot of thought into this.
So, any advice that you wouldgive to athletes who are stuck
in, maybe in a similar position?
Not, maybe not at college, butmaybe in high school where
they're stuck between like.
Either, you know, is it justpushing through?
Do I just need to push throughor is this something that I need
(21:24):
to step away from?
Um, yeah.
Anything there that you can shed
Greer (21:29):
I, I think that's, again, that's a super difficult thing
to have to go through and you'renot alone.
A lot of athletes go throughthat.
But I think especially atyounger and stages before you
get to college, if that, if youhave your goals, really take the
(21:49):
time to say, okay, is thissomething that's permanent?
Because a lot of the time it'snot, you're not gonna have this
coach forever.
You're not gonna have theseteammates forever.
But if it is affecting you somuch that you are, you don't
wanna be at school.
You don't wanna do anything, youdon't wanna go to practice.
(22:09):
You're upset before practice,you're upset before games.
Have conversations with yourparents, have conversations with
friends that are outside of,this team or this sport or just.
Anyone that you have a closerelationship, have conversations
and explain what you're goingthrough and let them give you
their insight.
(22:30):
I know sometimes we don't wannahear other people's opinions.
Most of the time I know I don'twanna hear other people's
opinion'cause I'm like, it's notyour life.
You don't know.
But I think that is verybeneficial because you can get
an out of the box outsideperspective, and that doesn't
always make it easier.
(22:50):
But it, a little bits of thosethings they say will go into
your brain a little bit, whetheryou want them to or not, and you
can kind of gain otherperspectives.
And like I said, it is neverpermanent.
So if you have those dreams andgoals, if sometimes you have to
suffer a little bit, sometimesit's kind of that thing of
(23:12):
chosen suffering.
You, you are choosing.
To get better and better toreach those goals.
So you're not gonna have thegreatest teammates.
Sometimes you're not gonna havethe greatest coaches, but I
don't want my story to say,well, okay, maybe it's just
something I need to step awayfrom.
I was to the point that I waslike, you know what, I'm in
(23:34):
college and I've done it for areally long time at this point,
and I did all the steps to gethere.
And I'm choosing to be here todo this.
I'm choosing to go to thisschool and compete for these
people.
And I think at this point I'mokay with just being a regular
(23:57):
person now.
And, but I don't think Iwould've given up those things
until I reached those goals.
'cause I would never have beenable to.
Be okay with myself just lettinggo at a younger stage.
But I think the biggest thing isalways just to remember it's not
permanent.
And if you have to do a littlebit of chosen suffering to push
(24:20):
through, you can do it.
But you can do anything you putyour mind to if that's truly
what you want.
But if it's not what you want,it's okay to step away.
People might be a little sad,but.
Everyone's still gonna love you.
Your teammates are gonnaunderstand, your parents are
gonna love you.
Your coaches will understandbecause again, at the end of the
(24:42):
day, athletics end, and eventhough we think athletics is the
end all, be all, we think oursport is everything in this
world.
We do feel that, and that'stotally valid, but it's not
everything.
Sports are not everything, andthe world's gonna keep spinning
and.
(25:03):
Your life's gonna continue to bejust as great with or without
your sport.
Breanne Webinar (25:10):
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that's greatbecause we do get tied up in
that, like this is.
This is the meaning of life andlot sports do help us develop a
lot of skills and, you know, allof that.
But it's not, and I'm curioushow your parents responded to,
were they supportive?
Were, was there anything youwish they would have done
through the process?
Greer (25:31):
I think it was, a lot of the issues that I had throughout
the year, I kept kind of tomyself.
I wanted to try to handle it onmy own.
I didn't, which there wereissues that most definitely
could have.
Been handled by my parents andmaybe should have been handled
by my parents, because they werethat big of issues and things
(25:56):
going on.
But I wanted to be an adult.
I wanted to handle it on my own.
And I eventually, my parentskind of knew about everything
and they were just, my dad wasfed up with it.
My dad wanted to go into theoffices, and I'm like, okay,
that's gonna make my situationworse.
Like.
We don't need that.
Let me, I got this undercontrol.
If I need you guys, I will tellyou, my mom at the end of it
(26:20):
was, she understood.
I mean, like I said, I calledher every single night, just
bawling my eyes out and I canonly imagine how stressful and
hard that is as a parent.
And especially her being away.
I'm an only child, so I'm likeher, everything.
So I'm away from home for thefirst time and.
So she was really in it with metoo.
(26:41):
So I think it was a big reliefon her and I, but she still, she
misses it maybe a little bitmore than I do.
But that goes with dance too.
When I stop dancing, she stillmisses that so much and she'll
reminisce and watch videos andshow me pictures.
But your parents are alwaysgonna support you.
Especially when it comes to justyour wellbeing.
(27:03):
Your parents are gonna be therefor you, they're gonna support
you.
They may not be happy.
I mean, they're probablyspending a lot of money.
They're, they're traveling,they're going to states, they're
going to tournaments.
They're, I mean, they are justas involved in your sport as you
are.
So you kind of have to realize,okay, they're grieving this a
little bit too.
Which I know being young is notan easy thing to.
(27:25):
You're like, okay, you're theparent.
Like, I'm stopping the sport.
Why are you upset?
But they're just as involved asyou are.
So you kind of have to, it'sanother one of those.
Take an outside look and look atit from the outside and say,
okay, well they were taking meto every practice.
They were at every game.
They saw the blood, sweat, andtears.
So they have to grieve that tooa little bit.
(27:47):
And we kind of have to let them,even though we're like, come on,
it's my sport.
But.
Breanne Webinar (27:52):
Yeah, I get that.
Yeah, that's hard.
And I think though parents thatare listening, what I'm hearing
from your parents was that theydidn't automatically say like,
don't quit.
Don't quit.
Because I think that would be, Imean, for me, because I have a
similar story, where I walkedaway from my sport, for a bit.
And like if my parents would, ifI would've come to them and been
(28:15):
like, I'm thinking aboutquitting, or I'm really having a
hard time.
And my parents were like, youcan't quit.
Can't, it's not an option.
You know, I probably would'vestopped coming to them and, I
would've probably internalized alot more and them just being
open.
I don't know if this is yourexperience too, to like, listen,
because when we hear that asparents, I mean, I have kids
that are playing sports too, andI think our gut reaction is
(28:37):
like, I've invested so muchtime, so much money.
I like this sport.
You're good at it.
You know, like, why would youwanna quit?
Or maybe it even is a familyvalue that like, you don't quit
things in the middle of theseason or whatever.
And so I think we have to, asparents, like realize that our
gut reaction needs to be to likeput aside our initial feelings
and like, listen.
And just listen to what theexperience is so that our kids
(29:00):
can keep coming to us and nothave to like shove everything
down or things like that.
So, I don't know if that wasyour experience too,
Greer (29:05):
Yes, definitely.
And that's something that I'vealso just like outside of
necessarily athletics oreverything, like I have a really
good relationship with my momand sometimes there's instances
that I'm like, mom, I just needyou to sit.
I need you to hear me.
I need you to just sit back alittle bit and hear what I'm
saying.
(29:26):
Then I need you to process itbefore you decide to react.
And that goes with everything.
But like, especially withathletics, because a lot of the
times if we're coming to ourparents, we're already in a
frantic of like, something's notgoing well.
So we're already stressed, we'realready upset, and we really
just need space to.
(29:47):
Have your parents like, hear usout.
Like just hear me out, hear whatI'm going through, hear how I'm
feeling.
And I think that makes all ofthe difference.
Breanne Webinar (29:56):
Yeah, for sure.
Okay.
I have a couple more questionsas we wrap this up.
Now you are studying psychology,you're working for us, you know,
so you're clearly passionateabout the mental side of sports
and you know, confidence in girlathletes.
Are there skills that you wishyou would've had, you know, as
an athlete, either in highschool and college, and do you
(30:18):
think it would've made anydifference?
Can you just go there?
Greer (30:21):
Oh my goodness.
I say to you guys all the time,I'm constantly saying to
Christina, uh, I wish that I hadthis program when I was in my
rec sports, when I was incompetition sports, and when I
was in college.
I going through the program, asI'm working with you guys over
the summer and just everythingthat I'm taking outta the
(30:46):
program now and learning I amusing in my day-to-day life, and
I am.
Breanne Webinar (30:51):
Cool.
Greer (30:52):
Everything that I'm doing now is so much easier'cause I'm
using the breath work and thatwas always something that I kind
of had,'cause I, anxiety, A DHD,I'm always like breath in,
breath in the blue skies, blowout the gray skies.
But the hot cocoa breaths, thevisualization, I really lost the
visualization.
And I started doing that again.
(31:13):
And just the program helps inall aspects of life and.
Even being out of athletics nowand going through it, it's, it
helps with work, it helps withclass, it helps with me driving
and people are not knowing howto drive.
Like just absolutely everythingin life it's beneficial for.
(31:34):
And it teaches you so manyskills and values that you just
need as a person, as a girl, asan athlete.
So I'm very grateful for that.
But another thing that I thinkis.
Really awesome is how you cancontinue to go through the
program multiple times and asyou go through them, you're
(31:56):
always in different stages oflife.
You're gonna have differentissues and different challenges.
So when you go through theprogram, you're automatically
gonna put your focus to thatissue that you have going on at
the time.
So it's, it's a continualprogram that you can continue to
do, and it's gonna help in everyaspect because.
Every aspect of your life,you're gonna have different
(32:17):
challenges, which you're gonnafocus those skills on, if that
makes sense.
So it's like an ever goingprogram that you continue, you
can continue to use becauseyou're gonna continue to have
different challenges in everyaspect of life.
And that goes with athletics orwithout?
Breanne Webinar (32:35):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I'm so glad then that youhave the skills now and, um, you
know, parents that arelistening, I hope you find
relief in that too.
Whether you're considering theelite mental game that's our
program or not, that yeah, theseskills are absolutely applicable
to your daughter's sport.
That's why we created it.
But like, the ultimate reasonwhy we created it is because it
(32:57):
goes well beyond sport.
And, yeah, like ER said.
Using it in situa.
And that's almost even, that'salmost like more impactful
because it's like your dailylife, your daily happiness, like
how you view things, all ofthat.
And yeah, I can't think ofanything as a parent that I
would want more for my kids.
Not that it's important for themto be happy all the time, but be
(33:17):
able to have the skills tonavigate the tough stuff like
that is really where it's at.
Greer (33:21):
Yeah.
I think the biggest thing islife's not always gonna go your
way, and that's hard.
And there's things that youcan't control, and I.
If you have those skills andyou, you don't have to have
these skills perfected either.
Like it's totally okay, but aslong as you kind of have that
(33:41):
toolbox of, okay, I have theseskills in my back pocket, I
might not be great at'em.
They might not be perfected, butyou still have that toolbox so
you can pick parts out and youstill have that skill in your
head to say, okay.
I can use this.
I can breathe a little bit.
I can visualize how I want thisto play out or how I can respond
(34:05):
to certain things playing out,and that goes to everything.
Breanne Webinar (34:08):
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
Well, Greer, this has beenamazing.
Thank you so much for sharingyour story, for being
vulnerable.
Know that.
It has impacted, I mean, youcame into our community and you
spoke to our athletes who aregoing through the program, and
so they were able to be inspiredand encouraged by you.
Same with parents.
So while sometimes walking awayfrom your sport might seem like,
(34:31):
oh, that's tough.
Like that decision now haspositively impacted so many
people because you've chosen touse it that way.
Greer (34:40):
I can fill my bucket in other ways now, and it's as just
as fulfilling as being on thefield or being in an arena.
So, if you don't mind, I have mytop five like advice, things
that I wanted to tell on theathlete call and I completely
forgot, but I have my top fivesthat are like my everythings.
Breanne Webinar (35:03):
I would.
Greer (35:04):
the first, the first one is find your why.
Why are you doing this sport?
Like I said, the little girlsand the every little kid looking
up to me and just thinking I wasthe most amazing thing in the
world.
'cause I was that little kidonce.
That was kind of my why.
And always focus on your why.
My second one is control thecontrollables.
(35:26):
Like we said, you're, there'ssome things that you don't have
any control over and that'shard, but.
You do have control over a lotof things, so focus on those.
My third one is be kind.
Always be kind.
If you are true to yourself, youare kind to others.
At least you know that you arebeing your best self and
(35:48):
whatever else happens.
However else, however peoplereact to you, is outta your
control because you are beingkind and you are being your best
self.
My fourth one is be accountable.
Be accountable to yourteammates.
Be accountable to.
If your coaches be accountablefor yourself, if you make
mistakes, own up to it.
(36:08):
If your teammates make mistakes,help them.
Help them improve.
Another big thing is, I alwayssay that, I don't know if it's
the best thing to say, butyou're only as strong as your
weakest teammate, so.
don't put down any of yourteammates.
Like help them if you see ateammate struggling, don't just
push'em to the side and say,well, because they're still on
(36:29):
your team.
They're a part of your team.
So help them, help them grow.
And that goes with being kind.
And my fifth one is never letanyone dim your light, all your
sparkle, or steal your joy.
Breanne Webinar (36:41):
Oh, I love this.
Do you need to like have thisframed somewhere?
You can write these down.
Oh, good for all athletes.
Um, for sure.
And I mean for me too.
I'm like, those are good.
Those, those are good.
Top five.
Why know your why?
Control the controllables.
Be accountable or sorry.
Be kind.
Be accountable.
(37:02):
Never will let anyone sparkle ordim your, dim your joy.
Dim your sparkle.
That right?
Greer (37:06):
Yeah.
Yep.
Pretty much.
Breanne Webinar (37:10):
All right, gr.
Well, this has been awesome.
Thank you again so much, um, forsharing your story.
I know that it's inspiredparents and athletes listening,
so thank you.
Greer (37:19):
Thank you for having me.
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