November 18, 2025 • 11 mins
The topic of manhood is being discussed in the framework of criticizing feminism, and the removal of masculinity in the culture. This podcast I want to avoid the accusation culture and provide what Genesis the first book of the Bible tells us about boys becoming men in the real world. How do boys become productive, sexually responsible and competitive members of society. Anthropology points us to design, Genesis reveals the purpose of the designer.
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Episode Transcript
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Ethan (00:01):
Raising joyful children in an angry world, a podcast
dedicated to faithful parentsnavigating their families
through a stormy culture
This is Raising joyful childrenin an angry world.
I'm your host, Paul Osborne.
Today I want to go into part twoof Boys Becoming Men, and I want
to talk about it in what I wouldcall real world terms more
practical.
(00:23):
If you read David Gilmore, whohas a book called Manhood in the
Making, you're going to discovera lot of what.
He has seen from anthropology,in other words, the study of
cultures around the world andwhat it says about this topic,
boys becoming men.
(00:43):
He has studied places like NewGuinea, the Mediterranean, the
Native American tribes in NorthAmerica, and he points out there
are three, what I wanna say,similar pockets of manhood that
are in each of these cultures.
And I would call themproductivity, sexuality, and
(01:05):
competition.
These three things show up inevery culture.
And the reason I started off onthis podcast last week with this
emphasis on trusting thepromises of God having created
your son to become a man isbecause when we look at the
practical things that aredescribed in this book and by
(01:27):
many other people on this topic.
We are gonna find that Genesisinforms us around these three
pockets, productivity,sexuality, and competition in
the understanding of boysbecoming men.
And I wanted to emphasize thatbecause if you don't believe
(01:48):
Genesis, then as a Christian,you're really not gonna have a
basis as to what it revealsabout this subject.
And I know unfortunately in thissubject, people spent all kinds
of time debating about the ageof the earth and all this stuff.
And they miss what God isteaching us about ourselves and
(02:12):
in particularly what is teachingus about our sons becoming men.
And so that, that is what Iwanted to get into.
Let's first talk about Gilmore'santhropology.
Why are these things ofproductivity, sexuality, and
competition?
Why are these things showing upin every single culture all
(02:36):
around the world as he hasstudied it?
I would suggest to you that thispoints to the designer, God made
men this way, and regardless ofwhere they live and what.
Culture they're in.
There's always this basis of, amI productive?
In other words, can I producesomething, a provision for my
(02:58):
family?
What is sexuality about, inother words, creating and
sexuality involving family and,and reproducing itself, and then
competition.
And the Bible, I believe,addresses all three of these in
the Genesis story and beyond.
God creates the world.
(03:19):
If you understand the Genesisstory, if you just read it in
chapter one, I'm not gonna readyou every line of it, but he
gives man dominion.
Over the creation for thepurpose of being productive.
He, he talks about trees thatproduce and, animals and all
this productivity.
And he puts us, he puts the manin charge of this.
(03:42):
And, and women have a differentrole in this.
And I don't wanna get into the,the difference of that today,
but I wanna focus just on, on.
Men.
So boys becoming men must findwhat gifts God has given them
that allows them to beproductive.
This is much easier in anagricultural or hunting and
(04:02):
fishing kind of gatheringeconomies.
But this must be mind.
It must be prayed for and mustbe developed.
In our modern world,productivity is about work that
generates provisions for oneselfand a family.
It's that simple.
So maybe your son is a builder.
Maybe he's a teacher,organizational leader, but you
(04:25):
and your son need to prayerfullyseek his calling.
So he must understand that Godhas made him with unique skills,
but those skills have broadapplication.
In other words, don't get caughtup in some narrow understanding
of God's will when it comes toproductivity.
God's creation demonstrates abig, wide world that we are, we
(04:49):
are given to be productive in.
And then God commands men.
I want to get into the sexualitypiece.
God commands the man to befruitful and multiply.
Also sexually speaking for thispurpose in the story.
He gives Eve to Adam.
This is the section aboutleaving and cleaving as it is
(05:12):
explained, a man leaves hisfamily to cleave to his wife.
Boys must be taught why theirbody is made the way it is, what
the sexual organ is for, and toseek God who is the giver of the
wife.
To the son.
This sexual relationship isspelled out in Genesis.
(05:33):
It is reaffirmed in Proverbsonly.
God can give them understandingwives, and this must be
explained early to boys becausethey're going to discuss this
subject earlier than you mightexpect, and so.
These are the first two pocketsof understanding what is my son
capable of doing?
(05:54):
What are the skills that God hasgiven him to be productive?
And then, this is what sex isabout.
This is the purpose of it, andthis is how it works, and these
are the boundaries that God hasput around it.
I now want to talk very quickly'cause these, these are short
podcasts, but the most difficultof these three pockets is the
(06:16):
understanding of competition.
And here again, Genesis is goingto show the right understanding
and the wrong understanding inthe story of Cain and Abel,
right?
Where they're.
Kind of competing.
There's this competition.
There's this, who's gonna givethe gifts and in, and what
competition is made to do is tostrengthen one another's gifts.
(06:39):
It's not a means of destroyingthe other person, which is what
happens here.
Right.
Competition should demonstraterespect for the opponent with
two understandings.
One, ultimately you perform outof gratitude to God for the
gifts that he has given you, andyou compete to bring glory to
(07:00):
God and you view competition asthe means to sharpening what God
has given you, as well as whatGod has given the other people
that you are competing with.
Proverbs say iron sharpens iron.
That's competition.
There is no place for envy andjealousy and the outcomes of
(07:25):
competition do not define you.
Here's the main trap ofcompetition.
You start to see your value,your identity, your relationship
with God by your works.
Instead, win, lose, or draw.
You see it as trusting God'spromises by faith.
(07:46):
In other words, you trust himfor the ability to compete and
you compete for those things.
Competition gets really trickybecause we have to work to be
productive and be successful,and yet at the same time.
We're told not to trust in thework itself, but trust God by
faith to bless the work.
(08:08):
So, so there's a paradox here.
Yes.
If you're gonna compete insomething, if you want to be
productive at something in whichyou will compete in this world
with, you have to work hard atit.
But you don't trust in the work.
You trust God by faith to blessthe work.
And so both of those things arehappening.
Competition can drive us totrust in ourself and our work,
(08:33):
or it can drive us to trust Godand his gifts.
Trusting God is not passive.
It is active because God tellsus we are more than conquerors
and, and this concept issomething that takes time and
patience to explain, I'mproductive because God created
and gave me the things to beproductive over.
(08:56):
I am designed for sexualreproduction and I trust God to
give me the woman he has chosenfor me to be sexually productive
with.
I compete to sharpen the skillsthat God has given me, as well
as sharpen the skills that Godhas given to my competitor in a
mutually beneficial andrespectful manner.
(09:21):
Here's the goal with Psalm 1 44.
I will close with this.
Psalm 1 44.
Verse 12 says, may our sons growas strong plants.
Man, think about trying to growa strong plant.
You've gotta tend to it.
You've gotta understand what isthis plant about?
(09:42):
How does it grow?
What does it produce?
And David starts the psalm bypraising the Lord who trains us
to be strong.
And this is the essentialdifference between understanding
these three pockets of manhood.
Anth anthropologically, oh, I'vegotta be productive.
(10:02):
I've gotta reproduce and havechildren.
I've gotta be competitive.
Versus understanding thistheologically and
anthropologically.
I am a man.
Therefore, I've gotta discoverwhat God has given me to be
productive.
I am a man.
I am created to reproduce andhave children with a woman, and
(10:23):
God will provide the woman.
And I enter into competitions tosharpen the skills that God has
given me, and I also enteredthem to help my competitor
sharpen his skills.
That is the essence of manhoodfrom the Book of Genesis, and
what I believe is, is thepragmatic, practical side of
(10:47):
boys becoming men.
And it isn't easy, but this isthe way that the scriptures have
instructed us to do it.
Paul (10:57):
The ultimate battle for the heart and soul is a fight
for identity.
Our king invites our kids toknow who they are, what to
believe, and where they belong.
Paul (2) (11:09):
Until next time, let's remember the words for theirs is
the Kingdom of Heaven.
Raising joyful children in an angry world, a podcast
dedicated to faithful parentsnavigating their families
through a stormy culture
This is Raising joyful childrenin an angry world.
I'm your host, Paul Osborne.
Today I want to go into part twoof Boys Becoming Men, and I want
to talk about it in what I wouldcall real world terms more
practical.
(00:23):
If you read David Gilmore, whohas a book called Manhood in the
Making, you're going to discovera lot of what.
He has seen from anthropology,in other words, the study of
cultures around the world andwhat it says about this topic,
boys becoming men.
(00:43):
He has studied places like NewGuinea, the Mediterranean, the
Native American tribes in NorthAmerica, and he points out there
are three, what I wanna say,similar pockets of manhood that
are in each of these cultures.
And I would call themproductivity, sexuality, and
(01:05):
competition.
These three things show up inevery culture.
And the reason I started off onthis podcast last week with this
emphasis on trusting thepromises of God having created
your son to become a man isbecause when we look at the
practical things that aredescribed in this book and by
(01:27):
many other people on this topic.
We are gonna find that Genesisinforms us around these three
pockets, productivity,sexuality, and competition in
the understanding of boysbecoming men.
And I wanted to emphasize thatbecause if you don't believe
(01:48):
Genesis, then as a Christian,you're really not gonna have a
basis as to what it revealsabout this subject.
And I know unfortunately in thissubject, people spent all kinds
of time debating about the ageof the earth and all this stuff.
And they miss what God isteaching us about ourselves and
(02:12):
in particularly what is teachingus about our sons becoming men.
And so that, that is what Iwanted to get into.
Let's first talk about Gilmore'santhropology.
Why are these things ofproductivity, sexuality, and
competition?
Why are these things showing upin every single culture all
(02:36):
around the world as he hasstudied it?
I would suggest to you that thispoints to the designer, God made
men this way, and regardless ofwhere they live and what.
Culture they're in.
There's always this basis of, amI productive?
In other words, can I producesomething, a provision for my
(02:58):
family?
What is sexuality about, inother words, creating and
sexuality involving family and,and reproducing itself, and then
competition.
And the Bible, I believe,addresses all three of these in
the Genesis story and beyond.
God creates the world.
(03:19):
If you understand the Genesisstory, if you just read it in
chapter one, I'm not gonna readyou every line of it, but he
gives man dominion.
Over the creation for thepurpose of being productive.
He, he talks about trees thatproduce and, animals and all
this productivity.
And he puts us, he puts the manin charge of this.
(03:42):
And, and women have a differentrole in this.
And I don't wanna get into the,the difference of that today,
but I wanna focus just on, on.
Men.
So boys becoming men must findwhat gifts God has given them
that allows them to beproductive.
This is much easier in anagricultural or hunting and
(04:02):
fishing kind of gatheringeconomies.
But this must be mind.
It must be prayed for and mustbe developed.
In our modern world,productivity is about work that
generates provisions for oneselfand a family.
It's that simple.
So maybe your son is a builder.
Maybe he's a teacher,organizational leader, but you
(04:25):
and your son need to prayerfullyseek his calling.
So he must understand that Godhas made him with unique skills,
but those skills have broadapplication.
In other words, don't get caughtup in some narrow understanding
of God's will when it comes toproductivity.
God's creation demonstrates abig, wide world that we are, we
(04:49):
are given to be productive in.
And then God commands men.
I want to get into the sexualitypiece.
God commands the man to befruitful and multiply.
Also sexually speaking for thispurpose in the story.
He gives Eve to Adam.
This is the section aboutleaving and cleaving as it is
(05:12):
explained, a man leaves hisfamily to cleave to his wife.
Boys must be taught why theirbody is made the way it is, what
the sexual organ is for, and toseek God who is the giver of the
wife.
To the son.
This sexual relationship isspelled out in Genesis.
(05:33):
It is reaffirmed in Proverbsonly.
God can give them understandingwives, and this must be
explained early to boys becausethey're going to discuss this
subject earlier than you mightexpect, and so.
These are the first two pocketsof understanding what is my son
capable of doing?
(05:54):
What are the skills that God hasgiven him to be productive?
And then, this is what sex isabout.
This is the purpose of it, andthis is how it works, and these
are the boundaries that God hasput around it.
I now want to talk very quickly'cause these, these are short
podcasts, but the most difficultof these three pockets is the
(06:16):
understanding of competition.
And here again, Genesis is goingto show the right understanding
and the wrong understanding inthe story of Cain and Abel,
right?
Where they're.
Kind of competing.
There's this competition.
There's this, who's gonna givethe gifts and in, and what
competition is made to do is tostrengthen one another's gifts.
(06:39):
It's not a means of destroyingthe other person, which is what
happens here.
Right.
Competition should demonstraterespect for the opponent with
two understandings.
One, ultimately you perform outof gratitude to God for the
gifts that he has given you, andyou compete to bring glory to
(07:00):
God and you view competition asthe means to sharpening what God
has given you, as well as whatGod has given the other people
that you are competing with.
Proverbs say iron sharpens iron.
That's competition.
There is no place for envy andjealousy and the outcomes of
(07:25):
competition do not define you.
Here's the main trap ofcompetition.
You start to see your value,your identity, your relationship
with God by your works.
Instead, win, lose, or draw.
You see it as trusting God'spromises by faith.
(07:46):
In other words, you trust himfor the ability to compete and
you compete for those things.
Competition gets really trickybecause we have to work to be
productive and be successful,and yet at the same time.
We're told not to trust in thework itself, but trust God by
faith to bless the work.
(08:08):
So, so there's a paradox here.
Yes.
If you're gonna compete insomething, if you want to be
productive at something in whichyou will compete in this world
with, you have to work hard atit.
But you don't trust in the work.
You trust God by faith to blessthe work.
And so both of those things arehappening.
Competition can drive us totrust in ourself and our work,
(08:33):
or it can drive us to trust Godand his gifts.
Trusting God is not passive.
It is active because God tellsus we are more than conquerors
and, and this concept issomething that takes time and
patience to explain, I'mproductive because God created
and gave me the things to beproductive over.
(08:56):
I am designed for sexualreproduction and I trust God to
give me the woman he has chosenfor me to be sexually productive
with.
I compete to sharpen the skillsthat God has given me, as well
as sharpen the skills that Godhas given to my competitor in a
mutually beneficial andrespectful manner.
(09:21):
Here's the goal with Psalm 1 44.
I will close with this.
Psalm 1 44.
Verse 12 says, may our sons growas strong plants.
Man, think about trying to growa strong plant.
You've gotta tend to it.
You've gotta understand what isthis plant about?
(09:42):
How does it grow?
What does it produce?
And David starts the psalm bypraising the Lord who trains us
to be strong.
And this is the essentialdifference between understanding
these three pockets of manhood.
Anth anthropologically, oh, I'vegotta be productive.
(10:02):
I've gotta reproduce and havechildren.
I've gotta be competitive.
Versus understanding thistheologically and
anthropologically.
I am a man.
Therefore, I've gotta discoverwhat God has given me to be
productive.
I am a man.
I am created to reproduce andhave children with a woman, and
(10:23):
God will provide the woman.
And I enter into competitions tosharpen the skills that God has
given me, and I also enteredthem to help my competitor
sharpen his skills.
That is the essence of manhoodfrom the Book of Genesis, and
what I believe is, is thepragmatic, practical side of
(10:47):
boys becoming men.
And it isn't easy, but this isthe way that the scriptures have
instructed us to do it.
Paul (10:57):
The ultimate battle for the heart and soul is a fight
for identity.
Our king invites our kids toknow who they are, what to
believe, and where they belong.
Paul (2) (11:09):
Until next time, let's remember the words for theirs is
the Kingdom of Heaven.
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