October 4, 2023 • 50 mins
Nadine Fonseca, from Mighty Kind, is here to chat about her new children's book Only a Trenza Away!
Nadine is an anti-bias/anti-racist researcher and advocate. She works with families, organizations, and companies to make anti-bias and anti-racist education a part of everyday learning, living, and loving. True kindness means getting uncomfortable, and feeling out of your comfort zone, and requires real time, dedication, and sacrifice.
Listen in as Nadine shares tips and advice for families raising their kids to be kind! Hear her story, learn from her expertise, and enjoy a behind-the-scenes peek at the making of her children's book!
Find out more about Mighty Kind here: www.mightykindkids.com
Follow Nadine on Instagram @mightykindkids
Start your KindSchooling journey today. Head to www.teamkindhumans.com or follow me on Instagram @teamkindhumans!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Katie Doughty (00:05):
Everyone, welcome back to the raising Cain humans
podcast. I'm your host, KatieDoty. And I'm just getting back
from a weekend trip home to goto a celebration of life for a
dear family friend. And it wassuch a good reminder about the
importance of relationships andhow fostering those
(00:30):
relationships in your life isone of the most meaningful
things that you can do. And itjust made me really stop and
think about where I'm spendingmy time and what's most
important. And it also remindedme of a study that was done
happiness study over severaldecades, I think it was like an
(00:52):
80 year or a 90 year study doneon happiness. And what these
researchers found is theyfollowed different people and
families throughout their livesis that people who had strong
relationships and connectionswith other people were happier.
(01:13):
And it just reinforces this ideaof helping our kids connect with
their own community connect witheach other, connect with friends
and family and theirneighborhoods, and how important
it is for their own mentalhealth and their own well being
(01:33):
as they grow, to have them beconnected to their community.
And it just fuels my fire ofgetting more of these service
projects and meeting more peoplein the nonprofit world and
charities and organizations thatare out doing good and finding
ways to connect kids to thosepeople into those organizations.
(01:59):
I know for me, raising kids in aworld where we are so focused on
social media and screens andthat those connections are,
they're being lost. And I don't,I don't want that to happen. You
(02:19):
know, for my own kids and foryour kids. And I think we have
to make a more concerted effortnow more than ever to help our
kids make relationships, makefriendships, reach out to other
people, and get involved intheir own communities. And it's
important, and I was reminded ofthat, again, this weekend. And
(02:41):
so I wanted to share with you wejust finished our first month in
team kind humans in themembership and it was so fun. We
had time to spend with Christyfrom Alex's Lemonade Stand. She
came in and shared about thefoundation and Alex and her life
(03:01):
and her mission. And the kidshad an opportunity to ask
questions about that. Andthey've been working hard,
participating in their millionmile challenge. And I'm just so
proud of what kids can do. Theyare so excited to get involved
in stuff like this and givingthem the opportunity is just
(03:25):
it's critical. So we chattedwith her. And then Dr. Ari, of a
snobby came in and did somescience with us and talked about
cancer research. And what thatlooks like for her because she's
a cancer research scientist. Andthen she actually put up some
other videos for us to do morescience with her. So I think
(03:46):
there's a total of four sciencelessons that have to do with
cancer research and being ascientist that is now available
in the membership. And kids cango back and watch and
participate and do thoseactivities alongside her. And
then we finished out with ourservice project, which one was
(04:07):
participating in the MillionMile but also writing thank you
notes to the donors of Alex'sLemonade Stand. So we are
helping the foundation bywriting colorful thank you notes
that they can send to theirgenerous donors to say thank you
for helping out with Alex'smission. And coming up this
month. I'm thrilled to have Gilcoming in from Reserva youth
(04:32):
Land Trust. Reserve is the firstfully funded youth Land Trust,
which means they are they it'srun by kids, which I just think
is so fascinating. He told methe oldest one I believe is 26
the oldest person in that inthat organization. And it's a
way for kids to get involved andspeak out for nature. And one of
(04:57):
the coolest things that theyhave available for kids is
called the million lettercampaign. And if you write a
letter about why you lovenature, and you send it to them,
they will match your letter witha $3 donation. And that donation
goes to, it saves a classroomsized piece of the cloud forest
(05:23):
in Ecuador, which I just thinkis so cool. It's so tangible for
kids to see, oh, man, if I writethis letter, I save a piece of
the cloud forest. It's sodirectly related. So Joe will be
coming in and chatting with us.
And we will be learning aboutconservation and their
organization. And then VickiConrad will be joining us. She
(05:45):
is the author of a voice for theEverglades, which is a picture
book biography about MarjoryStoneman Douglas, who spent her
whole life advocating for theEverglades. And now there's
Everglades National Park becauseof her. And her picture book is
just beautiful and so inspiring.
And she's also the author ofjust like Beverly, which is an
(06:07):
adorable picture book aboutBeverly Cleary as well. So she's
coming in to talk to us abouther book about murdery. And then
the kids will have anopportunity to ask her questions
and talk about her book and herwriting, which is going to be
super fun. So if you'reinterested, come join us, I'd
love to have you. Team kindhumans.com, you can sign up for
(06:30):
just $1 If you want to come onand hang out with us come to the
to the live zoom calls. And ifyou can't make it live, the
recordings will always beavailable and then they bank. So
if you join now us you geteverything we've already done,
which there's already two fulllessons up there with tons of
video and PDFs and downloads andchallenges and activities. So
(06:52):
it's all there for you and Iwould love to see you there. So
come join us. You're in for atreat today with this
conversation. I spoke withNadine Fonseka. And she is from
mighty kind. And Nadine is afantastic researcher and
advocate for anti racist antibias education. And she works
(07:15):
with families and companies tohelp with informed and
intentional kindness and raisingour kids to be intentionally
kind and well educated so thatthey can love others
wholeheartedly, and she has achildren's book out called only
a transit away, which is justphenomenal. And I know you're
(07:40):
going to love to hear the behindthe scenes sneak peek at what
went into writing that story andall that she has to offer. So
without further ado, pleasewelcome Nadine. Nadine, thank
you so much for joining me onthe raising kind of humans
podcast today. I can't wait todive into all of the amazingness
(08:03):
that you are. So welcome. I'mglad you're here.
Unknown (08:06):
Thank you. I appreciate you having me. I'm excited to
Katie Doughty (08:09):
this is gonna be fun. So if you don't mind just
starting and introducingyourself. Tell us a little bit
about who you are and where youcame from and kind of where
you're where you're going onthis journey.
Nadine Fonseca (08:21):
Oh, gosh, that last question. I'll have to
think about okay. As far asintro goes. I'm Nadine Fonseca,
I'm the founder of mighty kindkids, and most recently, the
author of Only a transit away,which is a children's picture
book that just came out lastmonth. I currently am in Austin,
(08:42):
Texas. But I was born and raisedin the San Francisco Bay Area in
California. And so having movedaround a little bit, some some
culture shock happened, butespecially raising little
humans, we don't realize what wehave as far as the plentiful
diversity of the San FranciscoBay area until we moved away and
didn't have it. So that's whatkind of sparked mighty kind,
(09:03):
which is an anti bias antiracist education company for
kids and their grownups. Sotrying to find opportunities to
have more organic conversationswhen there's not necessarily
organic matter happening in ourcommunities. And making sure
that stays top of mind in thoseconversations about what it
(09:24):
really means to be a kind humanbeyond smiling and hugging and
Katie Doughty (09:27):
waving. Oh my gosh, beautiful. I think we're
soul sisters here because thatis very similar to my mission as
well. Can you dive in Atlas? Iwas going to talk about your
book first. But now I want to gohere to MIT can kids so can you
give us like a little bit of apreview or if a parent goes to
your website like what is itthat they will find and how do
(09:48):
you actually help kids havethose conversations?
Unknown (09:52):
So on our website, mighty kind kids.com You'll find
a couple of things. So The blogis just now starting to bloom, I
took about a year and a half,almost two year hiatus, I went
back to school and I was doingresearch and consulting projects
for other brands that serve kidsand families and educators. And
so it's just now kind ofreblooming. So the blog will be
(10:15):
where a lot of resources sit.
And it's not the Nadine show, Idon't claim to know everything,
I don't want to know everything.
I leave that to that thoseexperts who either have research
experience or have livedexperience. And so you'll see a
lot of guests either writing forthemselves being interviewed,
sharing perspectives. And so youget a really great diverse pool
(10:37):
of people and information fromthem. So that's where the
majority of our content nowlives. However, originally
mighty kind was launched as amagazine like a holding your
hands print publication. And wecranked out 64 pages of original
art activities, content,writing, interviews, all of that
(11:00):
every 11 weeks, for three years.
Wow, we were just exhausted as,as a volunteer group of moms
would likely get. So we put apause on that. And this is what
it has since morphed into, wenoticed that one it wasn't cost
efficient for us printing isreally expensive paper got crazy
expensive during COVID. Andsince. But then also, I think
(11:22):
there was the financial barrierif people can't afford to have
this information. And we want asmany people as possible to have
that access. So that's why it'sswitched into digital. However,
those magazines, both physicaland digital, were created with
timeless content. So they'restill available on the website
(11:43):
to purchase, I still thumbthrough them with my own kids, I
know plenty of teachers andparents and caregivers who sit
down and read through those sickquickly, just to re spark
certain conversations and noticenew things. So that exists and
is still available. But there'llbe new kind of burgeoning
content as we move forward.
Katie Doughty (12:03):
I love that.
Well, I also noticed on yourwebsite, too. So you have the
blog, and the magazines, whichI'm excited to dive into,
because I noticed that they arethey aren't continuing, but
they're still available, whichis amazing. And you also like to
speak to is IT companies orteachers or educators, your
speaker and give thisinformation out to groups of
people? So who do you talk toyou? And what's kind of a little
(12:26):
bit of, of what you would say tothem?
Unknown (12:31):
Yeah, it really depends on where, you know, everyone's
in a different part of theirjourney, right. As far as anti
bias, anti racist work goes, somuch of that is internal, before
we even look to, you know, doanything external. So it really
is a matter of where people areat and what support they need.
So there are some, you know,large organizations that just
(12:52):
need different flavors of guestspeakers to offer new
perspectives. So you know, forlike Latinx Heritage Month, I'll
go in and talk to largecompanies and kind of give my
singular perspective of whatit's like to be Philippine in
the United States, or we're inbusiness or as a woman, business
owner, things like that. On theeducation side of things, I
(13:14):
prior to publishing this book, Iwas still going in and doing,
you know, little presentationsand assemblies and things like
that, talking about culture andappropriation versus
appreciation for kids,especially around Halloween time
and costumes, how you respectdifferent religious traditions
and holidays and things likethat. So that's kind of the the
kid aspect. But then, mostrecently, I've noticed for
(13:39):
especially moms, women, they, asbusiness owners are trying
really hard to incorporate morejust education, awareness,
respect into their products,into their marketing, you know,
messaging, all of that kind ofstuff. And I'm finding they're
really nervous about beingcancelled when they do it wrong,
(14:01):
or they make a mistake. And somost recently, I've been able to
start working with a lot ofentrepreneurs, a lot of business
owners and leaders who just wantto do better. Have more verbiage
have more resources, and alittle bit more introspection.
And so if and when the day comesthat they are called in or
called out for making a mistake,they're prepared and they can
(14:23):
handle it. And they can kind oftake that with grace and
humility and still pressforward. And that's the most
important part is that wecontinue right like we don't
just stop. Rest is great. Butstopping is not an option. We
all have to push forwardtogether.
Katie Doughty (14:38):
Oh, that's beautiful. I love that that's an
option for people because Ithink it's true. I think we all
struggle with that. We don'twant to say the wrong thing.
It's so different now thateverything you say is out there
for everyone to see and everyoneto critique. And it only takes
one person to make a commentabout it. And then it blows up
so that fear is real, that fearis absolute. We realize that you
(15:01):
are going to say something wrongor incorrectly and then that's
it, you're done. Like, that'show this works in society right
now. So do you offer them? Like,is it like one on one coaching?
Is it the business will hire youand you'll work for six months?
What does that process look likeworking with someone.
Unknown (15:19):
So far, it has been pretty one on one going in as a
consultant. And sometimes it'slike an audit. And we'll work
together for a month. Othertimes, it's sensitivity reads
for you know, content that'll becoming out, whether it's in
print or online. And then soonwhat will be happening is more
of a cohort learning that I'llstart offering. And so I think
(15:41):
it's important that beyond justthe one on one, we we practice
making mistakes in front ofpeople in small, safe spaces, we
practice being vulnerable, wepractice, you know, all of those
types of things. So we also getto learn from each other. And I
really, that's one of the thingsthat as much as I love to doing
the magazine, it was a very onesided conversation. And so I
(16:02):
missed that piece. And so comingback into more consulting and,
and group coaching and thingslike that, I get that piece back
where I get to learn to I getto, you know, kind of glean
insights from other experiencesand perspectives. So it's a
blend, it really depends onwhere you're at. And you know,
kind of what you're able toinvest both time financially,
(16:23):
right? And what what you're ableto invest in, in this one aspect
of of your path. Right, yourjourney.
Katie Doughty (16:31):
Yeah. So when is that cohort coming?
Unknown (16:35):
This fall, actually, this fall, we'll start we'll
start kicking that one off,
Katie Doughty (16:38):
how exciting so people can look out for that.
And definitely for that, that'sexciting. How cool is that? So
tell me more about what is it?
Let me think of how to phrasethis question. What's like one
thing you wish every parent knewand taught their child? Is there
like one specific mission thatyou have that like, if I can
(17:00):
make sure parents understandthis? We will be okay. I know,
that's a big broad question.
Unknown (17:09):
And, you know, like, within the context of, you know,
our kind of collective theme andconversation and whatever I
think, for me, as a parent, theone thing that I hope I can
raise my children to learn be,do you know, what have you is?
Oh, gosh, it's like twofold islike one, like, love yourself
(17:32):
and love your own boundaries,right? Whatever that looks like,
like, be ready for that to morphand evolve and change, and you
know, all of those things. Buton the other side of that, like
I missed has to be uncomfortableat times. You know, like, if
everything that you do to, like,help others in the world, is
(17:53):
putting a smile on your face andis hunky dory and super happy?
Like, you're probably not doingenough or you're not doing it
right, right? Like, is it whatthey actually need? Because it
should be an element ofdiscomfort, sacrifice, kind of
setting oneself aside, you know,so So Can all of those things,
be fun and happy? And of course,like, and you should feel good
(18:14):
about the things that you do.
But I think feelinguncomfortable is a hard thing to
teach kids because he wants toteach them to listen to their
gut and stranger danger, youknow, like all of these things.
So really helping them calibratewhat is a healthy level of
discomfort, I think and the onlyway to do that is through like
repetition and modeling andpresenting those opportunities.
(18:36):
Because this is a tricky one.
It's a tricky one to helpcelebrate that.
Katie Doughty (18:42):
Yes, it is. And I think about that with my own
kids and trying to navigatewhat's an appropriate amount to
expose them to and talk about inand help out with and what is
not for kids in there's a fineline there with what's out there
in the world and kind ofprotecting their innocence for a
little bit longer. But I readthat book, deep kindness by
(19:04):
Houston craft, I'm not sure ifyou're familiar with that. But
he it's a really, really greatbook. But he talks about
kindness is uncomfortable. Andin kindness is a journey you
will be on for the rest of yourlife. Like you don't just
achieve and you make it to theend. But it's something that you
have to work through and putyourself in situations that are
(19:27):
uncomfortable and don't feelthat happy, joyful feeling that
you think of sometimes when youthink of the word kindness, and
that's a hard concept to grasp Ithink because there is this
stigma of kindness that it'sthis kind of rainbows and
confetti and you know, it wasthat close sprinkle it like
confetti, right? And he debunksthat so quickly in his book and
(19:49):
for me coming in when I hadfirst started reading and I was
like, wait, no, I love thoseposters. And I have shirts and
like that's, that's what I have,but it really makes you realize
and understand and kindness isuncomfortable. And that's okay.
That is something that we areworking on. And something we
need to keep talking about andbringing forth with our kids. So
(20:11):
do you have any recommendationsfor parents then, like, have an
example of getting a littleuncomfortable with their kid, or
giving them opportunities likethat.
Unknown (20:22):
So there's, there are a couple of things. One, I would
say, personally, I have foundthat kids lit is incredibly
helpful in this arena, right.
And so whether that's kind ofmore traditional, you know,
picture books, and chapter booksand things like that, and just
making sure that we'reincorporating as many diverse
perspectives as possible, butalso making sure we're reading
(20:45):
alongside them, especially asthey get older, right? We're not
always pre reading every chapterbook or you know, so making sure
that we're reading alongsidethem as much as we possibly can.
So that whether they come to uswith, with questions or we come
to them, we make sure thatthey're understanding things, or
at least contemplating things, Idon't think we need to have all
(21:07):
of the answers. And I think it'sa really healthy thing for
caregivers to not have answers.
Because it teaches kids thatyou're not going to check that
box, right? Like you're alwaysgoing to be learning, you're
always going to need some moreperspectives and more contexts
and more information. So it'sgood to model that. But also,
(21:28):
aside from kind of moretraditional kids books, kids co
writes a ton of or publishes aton of books called, you know, a
kid's book about X, right? Akid's book about hunger, a kid's
book about racism, a kid's bookabout white supremacy, right.
And I think those are reallygreat, really digestible, very
tangible concepts, very simple.
But also very informative. Imean, you could, you could
(21:52):
probably pull apart one of thosebooks for a month, and have
multiple conversations, bring inmultiple perspectives. Because
if we're waiting for organicopportunities, we're waiting a
long time those kids are gonnabe grown and gone before you've
had all the conversations thatyou hoped you would have had,
you know, along their childhood.
(22:14):
So I think having those buildingthose little scaffoldings in to,
you know, parenting is, ishealthy trick, right to make
sure that those thoseconversations are happening.
Katie Doughty (22:25):
Yes, I love that you're brought up children's lit
because I am very passionateabout kids books, because I
think they do lend themselves tohaving those conversations that
you probably wouldn't be havingorganically all the time. And so
every book gives an opportunityto talk about a different
scenarios that they mightencounter sometime in their
life, maybe not right now. Butthey can look back and connect
(22:48):
with those characters. Andremember some of the things they
talked about moving forward withwhatever situation arises. So
I'm curious, then, what sparkedyou to write a book because your
first book is out only a transitaway? Where did that passion
come from? And then when did youdecide I have to write this?
Unknown (23:12):
My story's a little different from others who are
also traditionally published, Iactually had consulted for the
publisher for a couple of years.
And I never aspired to be anauthor, I was not writing a
book. But eventually, we werecreating opportunities for them
to usher in more diverseauthors. And so really looking
(23:32):
at the way they edited, reallylooking at the way they promoted
opportunities, how they wentthrough manuscripts, and just
kind of breaking down barriersthat, you know, queer bipoc
People might might be facing intheir process without them
realizing. And so, kind of onthe on the tail end of that, it
was, Well, hey, Nadine, wouldyou like to write a book? And
(23:55):
immediately my guts, like, no,like, I'm not a writer. Not even
close, I can talk all day long.
But if you tell me put somethingon paper, I'm gonna stare at a
blank page for like 10 years.
And so, you know, I thoughtabout it. And there was a sense
of responsibility, honestly,there was a sense of
(24:16):
responsibility for for littlebrown girls and boys to see
themselves represented betterand in children's books. And so
that's kind of what what turnedmy you know, ahead a little into
the opportunity. And then I justhad to make sure they had really
good editors tell stories, butas long as you can edit them so
(24:37):
that they're not, you know,incoherent that'd be great.
Partnering that way, which savedme years of you know, submitting
manuscripts and rejections andyou know, all the things that
most writers have to face likethose are really real
challenges. So I was supergrateful for the opportunity a
weighty sense of responsibility.
(25:01):
but then ultimately, my firstmanuscript was rejected, which
is a funky thing when you feellike you're being commissioned
to write something. Wow. Yeah,it was, they rejected it. And
they're, you know, after workingon it for a year, and they're
like, you know, it's just, wejust can't, we can't move this
forward, I think it was alittle, a little too radical.
(25:21):
That's okay, I'm gonna hold thatin a drawer for a little bit and
pull it out and dust it off andfigure out where a better spot
might be for that one. But thenext one, the next manuscript
that we worked on was only atransit away, and that is
loosely based on my childhood,and my dad braiding my hair when
I was little girls. Andtranslate means braid in
Spanish. And that one, I think,pull their heartstrings enough
(25:45):
where they're like, Okay, this,this one's gotta move forward.
That's, that's how that kind ofcame full circle.
Katie Doughty (25:51):
It's very sweet.
And I would be curious to know alittle bit more about how it is
loosely based, I want to hearmore about your dad and some of
the things maybe did he take youon some adventures? Was he
pretty creative, andimaginative? Or was that more of
like, the part of him braidingyour hair was true, but then the
rest is like, the creative partfrom you.
Unknown (26:14):
Ah, that's, that's mostly what it was, if, you
know, I'm being completelyhonest, like braiding was not my
favorite. As a little girl, Ihad this long, you know, Latina
hair, that it was very muchutilitarian to braid hair, it
was out of tradition, it was farmore just just maintenance, to
(26:35):
make sure that, you know, thenext morning, it wasn't going to
be just this big old rat's nest.
And so it was something that wasroutine. It was something you
know, but I, but I do rememberfondly. I have one older sister,
I do remember fondly that I hadthat time individually with my
dad. And that it was just mytime whether we talked whether
we didn't whether I was crying,because it was my hair was
(26:57):
hurting, or like any of that itwas still this moment in time
where it was just him and I, andwe had other you know,
opportunities as I got older,and we bonded over different
things, you know, et cetera. Butas a young girl, my sister and I
were only 18 months apart, maybe20 months apart. And so we were
very much treated like twinsgrowing up. And so we were kind
(27:18):
of at the hip and matchingoutfits and matching hairstyle,
you know, all that kind ofstuff. So to have that just
moment of individuality, right?
Like just that moment ofindividual attention. kind of
stuck with me. And so fromthere, it was like, Okay, how do
I take this and turn it intosomething more, better or worse,
(27:41):
I don't know. But like, justsomething more. And for me, as a
parent, I try and I'm notperfect, and I certainly can
improve. But I try and takethose dull moments that are
otherwise just routine, orutilitarian or whatever. And
like, judge them up, right?
Like, take the chance to, youknow, have some fun, or be silly
or have a deeper conversation,even if it's just overdriving
(28:04):
the dishes or you know, likewhatever it might be. And so
trying to model that a littlebit in the book is like, what,
what normally is like routine,or, you know, kind of not fun,
or you know, whatever it is, canwe take those opportunities to
bond with our children a littlebit more deeply? And that was
the
Katie Doughty (28:24):
hope. Oh, well, you did a beautiful job. Because
I just first of all, the storyis gorgeous. And I love the idea
of that one on one time withdad, right? Because kind of
stereotypical dad isn't usuallythe one that will be braiding
hair. And so I love that that'spart of like, look what Dad can
do, and this time that I get tospend with him. And it's very
(28:44):
obvious in the book when whendad doesn't come home from work.
How devastated she is, shemissed that time with him. So it
wasn't the act of braiding hair.
It was the act of being with herdad. And I just love that part
of the story. And then can youspeak a little bit about to
what's braided in to her hairand the meaning behind that
(29:06):
because I got goosebumps when Iread that part. And I just
wanted to hear your story of howyou created that.
Unknown (29:17):
The braid at least traditionally, what we were
braided have three sections orthree parts. And I I feel like
it can be open tointerpretation. It can be you
know, different cultures havehave different meanings behind
braids. And there wasn'tnecessarily a hard and fast
explanation for why we braidedthe way we did. And I thought it
(29:39):
means something to me. What Whatshould it mean? What can it
mean? How can we open this up tobe something was just relatable,
right and also empowering. Andso looking at those three
sections of braids, that's wheremy you know, sense of
radicalizing kindness kind ofcame into play. And so the three
sections I have represented orone for kids to love themselves
(30:05):
as they are. And as they hope tobe those things, even as an
adult, as a woman, especially asa mom wearing different hats,
and whatever, you always thinkyou're falling short, or I
thought I'd be better at this,or I'd accomplish this in my
career or feel like I'm failingas a parent, right? Like all
those things. But it's also,it's important to remember that
we can love who you are, andalso want to be better those
(30:28):
things can happensimultaneously. It's not one or
the other. And so I wanted kidsto hear that from an early age.
The second section of the braidwas others who will need our
love. And that talks a lotabout, you know, kind of the
kindness, right, the advocacy,the looking outside of
ourselves, and making sure thatwe are being mindful of what's
(30:49):
around us and having that senseof community. And, and then the
third section is the people thatlove us, right, our family, our
friends, our mentors, you know,our ancestors, people who have
put in the time, the work thesacrifice, to do what they can
to to help us along. So thoseare the three sections of the
(31:10):
brain. And I think it's, Iwanted it to be something that
was anchored to her right, likeher hair is not going anywhere.
But then also like, my boys,they have short hair, they've
never braided their hair. And sothey we had a school tradition
for a little while where we'dmake baby braided bracelets. So
they could still carry a braidwith them right and have that
(31:32):
just sense of security and senseof confidence and be emboldened
by that.
Katie Doughty (31:38):
And kids love that kind of stuff. And they are
they're so smart, they can pickup on that kind of stuff. So
easily, right and reading thisstory to kids, that part of
loving who you are, but but alsoloving who you will be. I mean
that I know that was written fora child, but it hit me at my
(31:58):
core because it's true. As amom, as a woman, as an
entrepreneur, I keep thinking, Ineed to do this, or I will get
here I'm trying to get here. Andthis is what I want to do. When
really right now, like thingsare great. And I'm doing great.
And I need to remind myself thatthis is where it's at. And I
need to love this moment aswell. So I love that that was
(32:21):
part of the lesson in this inthis book. And then keeping
those in mind who will need you,I think is such a huge mission
to, to give to our kids, rightlike for our parents who have
the ability to show, we have tolook out for others, that is a
main part of the fabric of whowe are, we have to look out for
(32:43):
others. And so having that likeyou only got three to choose
from, and you pick really goodones. So I loved that. And then
also holding close, who loves usdearly, and who will be there,
whether they're here in spiritin physical form. They love you.
And so I just love those threedifferent ones. And I did notice
in the back of the book, youtalked about your tradition of
(33:06):
braiding bracelets. So did youtell this story to your kids
before you wrote it as achildren's book? Or how did that
come up in your family? As faras the bracelets?
Unknown (33:19):
That's a good question.
So you know, this story wasn'teven on my mind, right until I
got my first manuscriptrejected. I'm like, Okay, back
to the drawing board. But Ithink subconsciously, like
braids have always beensomething near and dear to my
heart. And it just manifests indifferent ways at different
times, and ultimately ended upin this story. But when we made
those bracelets, it was we hadjust moved out of state we knew
(33:43):
nobody, I just had a baby and Iwas struggling a bit with
postpartum and where we hadnormally homeschooled it was the
first year I was sending myolder kids to public school. And
so that for me, was them takingpart of me with them, right and
then feeling like they weren'talone that they were connected.
And just an easy visualreference of like, Hey, we're
(34:09):
still you know, we're stillconnected. We're still
intertwined, whether we'rephysically together or not. And
so I guess it's something that'sjust evolved over time, but it's
it's a sentiment that I guesshas just grown since I was a
little kid. Yeah,
Katie Doughty (34:25):
it's so sweet. It reminds me of the book, the
kissing hand. If you've readthat, where she kisses the hand,
and then they have to hold on toit and we I remember doing that
with my daughter in kindergartenbecause she was so nervous to go
to school but then it helpsright like they it's that
reminder of okay, I will seethem again after school. I can
(34:47):
be brave right now and then Iwill get that hug at the end of
the day. So that physical thatvisual reminder that we are
still here we are connected.
Even though I'm not sittingright next to you. I'm still
with you. In USA, if you wereokay, so I love that you do that
with your kids. And I was tryingto brainstorm to like, what a
cool way? Is there a way that wecan have kids make bracelets for
(35:09):
another community or anothergroup of people that might need
a reminder that people are herelooking out for them? You know,
like, how can we entwine thisinto some kind of project for
kids, because who doesn't loveto make bracelets, that would be
really fun. And just,
Unknown (35:27):
you know, like, a twist on friendship bracelets, like,
you know, to remind people thatyou are, you know, like, a lot
of kids, especially if you'relike, I don't have good friends,
or, you know, the friends Ithought I had didn't shape up
the way I thought they would, orthis particular situation
changed our friendship. And sojust, I think as a, as kind of a
banner right to remind kidslike, Hey, if you see me with
(35:48):
this bracelet, you know, youhave a friend in me. And, and
kind of creating that thatmessage or symbolism or whatever
it is, because as much as wewant to gift things. I think
it's far more about the intent,right than the actual gift. And
so making sure that themessaging is clear of like, I
want to give this to you, notbecause I want you to fancy
dresses, but because I want youto see that you have a friend in
(36:10):
me like whenever you need me.
Katie Doughty (36:11):
Yeah, the symbolism behind it. I like what
you just said to about. It's notnecessarily about the gift. It's
about the intent behind it.
Because I've done some projectswith my kids where, you know, it
didn't turn out the way that Ithought it was going to turn
out. And I thought we were goingto be able to give bigger, or
donate more money or have moreto give. But so I'll give you an
example. We did piggy banks, wemade paper mache piggy banks,
(36:36):
and we were raising money forchildhood cancer research. And
we set it out. They chose theirgymnastics location. So they put
it up there. And it was therefor like a week. And we went to
go pick it up, and they're allexcited. And we go and we dump
out the money. And there's like$4 in there. And I was
disappointed, right? Because Idon't know, you just have this
(36:56):
expectation. But the kids werethrilled, like they could not
believe that there were $4 inthat piggy bank, and they got to
donate that. And that was themoment I thought, oh my gosh,
it's not about the money. It'sthe fact that they know they did
something to help someone else.
And so I love what you'resaying, it doesn't have to be
(37:18):
this big, grand gesture, it canbe something so simple, just
saying, I will be your friend, Iam here for you. And I love that
only consider
Unknown (37:28):
as a mom, that you brought awareness to something
far deeper than they probablywould have ever experienced at
that age, right? They theysacrifice time and resources and
invested in doing something fora kid they probably have never
met before or will never meet.
And so even just thosepractices, you know, when they
look at a piggy bank, as theyget older, like they're going to
have a connection there or youknow, and so I think we do as
(37:49):
adults especially get caught upin the results of things when we
forget that the results are farmore transcendent when when
investing in children and theway that they think and learn
and connect than it is about youknow, how much money we raised
or how many bracelets we made oryou know, whatever it is
Katie Doughty (38:07):
exactly. And that's such a good reminder,
because they're not holding onto that, right. It's the adults
that told it that me it me I'mholding on to it. And I've since
let that go for sure. Becausenow I have seen and watched them
learn and grow in this processof trying to help other people
that I know the benefits are notmonetary. They are not tangible
(38:28):
you they're there in theirhearts. And that's the whole
point. Yeah. Oh, my goodness,yes. Well, is there anything
else you can think of that?
Maybe you really want to put outin the world for kids like or
any other opportunities you canthink of for parents to help get
their kids involved in some ofthese conversations? I know you
(38:51):
said kid lit. But is thereanything else coming down that
you are working on or anythingother books coming along? That
might be Do you have one morebook
Unknown (39:02):
that's in the works?
It'll be a while it'll be outnext fall, if all goes well,
which is never guaranteed, butone can hope? I think for me, I
really do think that the bestthing that any parent or
caregiver or anyone who mentors,children can do is invest in
themselves, you know, do thework themselves. The more that
(39:23):
you're engrossed in the twistyfeelings, the hard history, the
realities of you know, politicalclimates and you know, just just
the things that really causemembers of our communities to
struggle. The more you're goingto have those organic
(39:46):
conversations, because it'sgoing to be front of mind you're
going to be hyper aware of howthings are transcend you know,
transpiring in your owncommunity. And so it really is a
matter of you doing the work asthe adult It's because, you
know, like, my kids have asked,you know, well, when can I start
a business? When can I, youknow, do these things. And I'm
like, Well, when you can get alicense, you can get a job when
(40:08):
you have your own car, you know,because they're along for the
ride with me wherever I go. Andso it's the same with anti bias,
anti racist work, it's the samewith, you know, social emotional
learning, unpacking childhoodtraumas, right, all of those
things as we do the work asadults, like those kids are
along for the ride, whether theylike it or not. And so they are
second hand recipients of thework that we invest in. So I
(40:31):
would say, as adults, I wishthere was a cheat sheet, I wish
there was, you know, a quickMonopoly game where we check all
the boxes and do all thetransactions and we you know,
all sudden, or have no biases,and no, you know, racist
thoughts, which would be lovely.
But the reality is, you know,like you said, from the
beginning, there is no checkingthis box, it's, it's a journey.
(40:53):
And so as much as we can investin that journey ourselves, the
kids get to reap the benefits ofthat just as much, if not more
so, because they get to see ourmistakes, too. And as long as
we're transparent and can humbleourselves as often as we can,
we're never going to be perfect.
They, they will definitely havethose conversations more
(41:17):
fluidly, more often, and moregenuinely with you, because they
see that you're ready for that.
I think our kids try and protectus more than we realize. And so
if we can show them that we'reready to have hard
conversations, we can show themthat we're okay making mistakes,
(41:38):
then we can handle them withsome degree of grace. They'll be
ready to purchase with thingstoo, that might feel twisty to
them.
Katie Doughty (41:47):
Yeah, I think that's the perfect answer. Kids
are always watching. They arealways watching. Even when you
don't think they are good. Theywill come back and tell me
something later. I'm like, yep,you saw that. Cool. So it's
something to keep in mind. And Ithink to your right, giving them
that opportunity at a youngerage, they'll be more equipped.
And I think having the examplethat you are trying to
(42:12):
understand people and you aretrying to be better, and you are
trying like just the fact thatyou're trying, right, you're
showing that you are keeping anopen mind about different types
of people and that it's okay tomake a mistake. And I didn't get
that right. But I'm going tolearn about it and try harder
next time. What a valuable thingthat you can give to your kids.
(42:33):
Do you have any bookrecommendations for adults who
do want to take more time tolearn and grow and change? Yes,
so
Unknown (42:45):
Dr. Abram X kendi has some wonderful books, how to be
an anti racist how to raise ananti racist. I'm trying to think
Britney Hawthorne BrittHawthorne also has a really
great one that's raising antiracist children. I think those
are they they even haveworkbooks for kids, probably on
(43:08):
the older side of children liketweens and teens. But it
wouldn't be a bad thing like me.
And white supremacy also has aworkbook to kind of like dive
in, I think we can run the riskof you know, shelf help, right,
we read a book and stick in theshelf, never think of it again.
And so the ones that areaccompanied by workbooks or
journal prompts or things likethat, that really cause you to
(43:30):
pause and have those moments ofself reflection are probably
most beneficial, at least tostart with to start that that
practice. There's also a greatbook that's called how to do the
work. That's a lot about kind ofunpacking our own traumas and
childhoods. And that getsintertwined with with some other
(43:51):
work as well. So those thosewould be my recommendations.
Katie Doughty (43:56):
Oh, those are great, thank you. I would love
something to work alongside mykid, you know, with with
something like a journal promptthat you can both answer at the
same time. And you said maybetweens and teens, but it'd be
cool to have an opportunity toyou know, here's the here's the
question or the prompt, you goanswer I'll go answer and let's
(44:18):
talk about it. Because the work,like we talked about is never
done. So I'm still working,they're working. They're just
getting started on their work.
But I would love something likethat. So if you find anything or
have a good recommendation, Iwould be thrilled to know
Unknown (44:35):
actually, in each edition of mighty kind magazine,
you'll find prompts like thatfor both parents and kids. And
some of them I think are reallyinteresting. The the new book
that I'm working on has a lot todo with social emotional
learning. And I had an amazingconversation with an art
therapist, talking about howinteracting with creativity
(44:57):
creating something as areflection of However kids are
perceiving their worlds is areally great conversation
starter. So whether it's drawinglike draw me a safe place like
that, you know, like, draw me,you know, those types of things,
what makes you feel warm insidedraw me a picture of that.
Because if we leave those thingsopen ended and lead with an
emotion lead with lead with aconnection, like the rest
(45:21):
trickles down, and we can openup those conversations. But
there was a really interestingkind of warning or word of
caution in there from her, whereshe says, Don't overthink it, it
is a snapshot of a moment intime. Like, if when you say, you
know, what makes you sad, right.
And they draw this likethunderstorm and their dog is in
(45:41):
a puddle. You know, like all ofthese things like, it could have
just been Thursday morning, theywere bummed that they stepped in
a puddle, right, it doesn't meanthey're afraid their dogs gonna
die. And the world's coming downon that, you know, like, it is a
snapshot of a moment in time.
And I think even in ourjourneys, as we learn and grow,
to remember that of ourfeelings, some of them are going
(46:05):
to arc for the rest of ourlives. Like for better for
worse, that's just how humannature is going to be. The there
are other times as we do hardthings or unpack like difficult
histories or conversations orinteractions. Like we can take
those feelings and remember thatthey were a reflection of a
moment in time and just sloughthem like a snake skin, like
(46:26):
that served me in that moment Ilearned, I can do better. I
don't have to hold on to theguilt, the anger, the
bitterness, those types ofthings, that that even our
emotions, as adults are areflection of a moment in time
that maybe has a deep historyand lots of things can bubble
up. But we have permission tolet those things go so that we
(46:46):
can move forward, we can youknow, push past them. Wow,
Katie Doughty (46:50):
that was really powerful. And a really great
piece of advice. What a greatreminder, it's so true. As a
mom, I will obviously willalways read into what my kids
are saying or what they drew,why did you draw that? What does
that mean? Like? What what arewhat should I be worried? Am I
doing something wrong? Am Igoing in the wrong direction
here? And then you're on yourright holding on to your own
(47:11):
guilt? Like I made a mistake?
Oh, my gosh, I can't let it go.
Like, how do I get through this?
It's something that I hold on toyou. But you're right. Being
able to let that go learn fromit. Let it go. And move on is
such a wonderful thing to modelfor our kids and obviously for
ourselves. Definitely. And Ilove that you're like, oh, wait,
(47:31):
hold on, I have something foryou just get the mighty kind
magazine, because I alreadyinvented.
Unknown (47:38):
So privileged for that area. And it's good to know that
those resources are unwanted.
And we'll I'll find a way. Yeah,yeah. Now, doing those exercises
are helpful. Whether you pick upthe magazine or not just sitting
down and CO creating art can bea really powerful opportunity
for that.
Katie Doughty (47:56):
I like that and kids connect to art, that's
something that they understand.
And then they can do you handand mccrane. And they're not
gonna be like glue to where youdo with them, they will go. And
so that's a really great way tokind of dive and get a little
sneak peek into their brain andtheir mind and what's going on
inside in a safe way that theyfeel. Oh, this is familiar. I
got this. Yeah, that's reallycool. So tell us where can we
(48:16):
find all the things? Whereshould we follow you? What
websites should we be lookingat, tell us all the things.
Unknown (48:26):
So the simplest would be the website which is mighty
kind kids.com. So kids isplural. That's also all of my
social handles. So Instagram,Twitter, threads, hey, all that
it's all going to be at mightykind kids. And then only a
trends away you can findwherever books are sold. So any
(48:48):
of your favorite bookstoresbookshop.org is a great spot to
support small small independentown bookstores and so that's
that's a great spot. But if yougotta go with two day shipping,
Amazon's got it to you.
Katie Doughty (49:01):
And it comes quickly. I love shopping local,
I love our local bookstore andso I try to go there as much as
possible because I just like thesmell of it. I like to walk in
and just that feel of the booksand it's my favorite place to
just browse
Unknown (49:16):
the whole vibe. No matter what store you walk into.
It's a whole vibe. I love ittoo.
Katie Doughty (49:21):
Is I always have cute little knickknacks and
gifts and I don't know it's justa fun experience. It's better
than getting it on your frontdoor. Only in terms of a highly
recommend go out and buy it.
It's fantastic. It needs to beon your bookshelf also it looks
really pretty. The illustrationsare gorgeous. So having it out
on your table or out on yourshelf is is beautiful. It
(49:43):
reminds me of the colors. Theycan't see this but in your
background. Yeah, your picturesI feel like those colors are
very similar to what was used inthe art but well done. You are
doing such a beautiful, amazingthings in this world and I am
excited I have to keep followingyou and keep learning from you.
I'm gonna go check out your blogand I will be forwarding all of
(50:03):
your information to everyone Iknow because it's just so
important. It's just soimportant and I am grateful that
you are putting in the work tomake this world a better place.
So, thank you. Thank you forchatting with me today.
Absolutely. Thanks
Unknown (50:20):
for having me. Thanks for all you do. It's a
collective bandwidth for sure.
So, thanks for pushing itforward as well.
Everyone, welcome back to the raising Cain humans
podcast. I'm your host, KatieDoty. And I'm just getting back
from a weekend trip home to goto a celebration of life for a
dear family friend. And it wassuch a good reminder about the
importance of relationships andhow fostering those
(00:30):
relationships in your life isone of the most meaningful
things that you can do. And itjust made me really stop and
think about where I'm spendingmy time and what's most
important. And it also remindedme of a study that was done
happiness study over severaldecades, I think it was like an
(00:52):
80 year or a 90 year study doneon happiness. And what these
researchers found is theyfollowed different people and
families throughout their livesis that people who had strong
relationships and connectionswith other people were happier.
(01:13):
And it just reinforces this ideaof helping our kids connect with
their own community connect witheach other, connect with friends
and family and theirneighborhoods, and how important
it is for their own mentalhealth and their own well being
(01:33):
as they grow, to have them beconnected to their community.
And it just fuels my fire ofgetting more of these service
projects and meeting more peoplein the nonprofit world and
charities and organizations thatare out doing good and finding
ways to connect kids to thosepeople into those organizations.
(01:59):
I know for me, raising kids in aworld where we are so focused on
social media and screens andthat those connections are,
they're being lost. And I don't,I don't want that to happen. You
(02:19):
know, for my own kids and foryour kids. And I think we have
to make a more concerted effortnow more than ever to help our
kids make relationships, makefriendships, reach out to other
people, and get involved intheir own communities. And it's
important, and I was reminded ofthat, again, this weekend. And
(02:41):
so I wanted to share with you wejust finished our first month in
team kind humans in themembership and it was so fun. We
had time to spend with Christyfrom Alex's Lemonade Stand. She
came in and shared about thefoundation and Alex and her life
(03:01):
and her mission. And the kidshad an opportunity to ask
questions about that. Andthey've been working hard,
participating in their millionmile challenge. And I'm just so
proud of what kids can do. Theyare so excited to get involved
in stuff like this and givingthem the opportunity is just
(03:25):
it's critical. So we chattedwith her. And then Dr. Ari, of a
snobby came in and did somescience with us and talked about
cancer research. And what thatlooks like for her because she's
a cancer research scientist. Andthen she actually put up some
other videos for us to do morescience with her. So I think
(03:46):
there's a total of four sciencelessons that have to do with
cancer research and being ascientist that is now available
in the membership. And kids cango back and watch and
participate and do thoseactivities alongside her. And
then we finished out with ourservice project, which one was
(04:07):
participating in the MillionMile but also writing thank you
notes to the donors of Alex'sLemonade Stand. So we are
helping the foundation bywriting colorful thank you notes
that they can send to theirgenerous donors to say thank you
for helping out with Alex'smission. And coming up this
month. I'm thrilled to have Gilcoming in from Reserva youth
(04:32):
Land Trust. Reserve is the firstfully funded youth Land Trust,
which means they are they it'srun by kids, which I just think
is so fascinating. He told methe oldest one I believe is 26
the oldest person in that inthat organization. And it's a
way for kids to get involved andspeak out for nature. And one of
(04:57):
the coolest things that theyhave available for kids is
called the million lettercampaign. And if you write a
letter about why you lovenature, and you send it to them,
they will match your letter witha $3 donation. And that donation
goes to, it saves a classroomsized piece of the cloud forest
(05:23):
in Ecuador, which I just thinkis so cool. It's so tangible for
kids to see, oh, man, if I writethis letter, I save a piece of
the cloud forest. It's sodirectly related. So Joe will be
coming in and chatting with us.
And we will be learning aboutconservation and their
organization. And then VickiConrad will be joining us. She
(05:45):
is the author of a voice for theEverglades, which is a picture
book biography about MarjoryStoneman Douglas, who spent her
whole life advocating for theEverglades. And now there's
Everglades National Park becauseof her. And her picture book is
just beautiful and so inspiring.
And she's also the author ofjust like Beverly, which is an
(06:07):
adorable picture book aboutBeverly Cleary as well. So she's
coming in to talk to us abouther book about murdery. And then
the kids will have anopportunity to ask her questions
and talk about her book and herwriting, which is going to be
super fun. So if you'reinterested, come join us, I'd
love to have you. Team kindhumans.com, you can sign up for
(06:30):
just $1 If you want to come onand hang out with us come to the
to the live zoom calls. And ifyou can't make it live, the
recordings will always beavailable and then they bank. So
if you join now us you geteverything we've already done,
which there's already two fulllessons up there with tons of
video and PDFs and downloads andchallenges and activities. So
(06:52):
it's all there for you and Iwould love to see you there. So
come join us. You're in for atreat today with this
conversation. I spoke withNadine Fonseka. And she is from
mighty kind. And Nadine is afantastic researcher and
advocate for anti racist antibias education. And she works
(07:15):
with families and companies tohelp with informed and
intentional kindness and raisingour kids to be intentionally
kind and well educated so thatthey can love others
wholeheartedly, and she has achildren's book out called only
a transit away, which is justphenomenal. And I know you're
(07:40):
going to love to hear the behindthe scenes sneak peek at what
went into writing that story andall that she has to offer. So
without further ado, pleasewelcome Nadine. Nadine, thank
you so much for joining me onthe raising kind of humans
podcast today. I can't wait todive into all of the amazingness
(08:03):
that you are. So welcome. I'mglad you're here.
Unknown (08:06):
Thank you. I appreciate you having me. I'm excited to
Katie Doughty (08:09):
this is gonna be fun. So if you don't mind just
starting and introducingyourself. Tell us a little bit
about who you are and where youcame from and kind of where
you're where you're going onthis journey.
Nadine Fonseca (08:21):
Oh, gosh, that last question. I'll have to
think about okay. As far asintro goes. I'm Nadine Fonseca,
I'm the founder of mighty kindkids, and most recently, the
author of Only a transit away,which is a children's picture
book that just came out lastmonth. I currently am in Austin,
(08:42):
Texas. But I was born and raisedin the San Francisco Bay Area in
California. And so having movedaround a little bit, some some
culture shock happened, butespecially raising little
humans, we don't realize what wehave as far as the plentiful
diversity of the San FranciscoBay area until we moved away and
didn't have it. So that's whatkind of sparked mighty kind,
(09:03):
which is an anti bias antiracist education company for
kids and their grownups. Sotrying to find opportunities to
have more organic conversationswhen there's not necessarily
organic matter happening in ourcommunities. And making sure
that stays top of mind in thoseconversations about what it
(09:24):
really means to be a kind humanbeyond smiling and hugging and
Katie Doughty (09:27):
waving. Oh my gosh, beautiful. I think we're
soul sisters here because thatis very similar to my mission as
well. Can you dive in Atlas? Iwas going to talk about your
book first. But now I want to gohere to MIT can kids so can you
give us like a little bit of apreview or if a parent goes to
your website like what is itthat they will find and how do
(09:48):
you actually help kids havethose conversations?
Unknown (09:52):
So on our website, mighty kind kids.com You'll find
a couple of things. So The blogis just now starting to bloom, I
took about a year and a half,almost two year hiatus, I went
back to school and I was doingresearch and consulting projects
for other brands that serve kidsand families and educators. And
so it's just now kind ofreblooming. So the blog will be
(10:15):
where a lot of resources sit.
And it's not the Nadine show, Idon't claim to know everything,
I don't want to know everything.
I leave that to that thoseexperts who either have research
experience or have livedexperience. And so you'll see a
lot of guests either writing forthemselves being interviewed,
sharing perspectives. And so youget a really great diverse pool
(10:37):
of people and information fromthem. So that's where the
majority of our content nowlives. However, originally
mighty kind was launched as amagazine like a holding your
hands print publication. And wecranked out 64 pages of original
art activities, content,writing, interviews, all of that
(11:00):
every 11 weeks, for three years.
Wow, we were just exhausted as,as a volunteer group of moms
would likely get. So we put apause on that. And this is what
it has since morphed into, wenoticed that one it wasn't cost
efficient for us printing isreally expensive paper got crazy
expensive during COVID. Andsince. But then also, I think
(11:22):
there was the financial barrierif people can't afford to have
this information. And we want asmany people as possible to have
that access. So that's why it'sswitched into digital. However,
those magazines, both physicaland digital, were created with
timeless content. So they'restill available on the website
(11:43):
to purchase, I still thumbthrough them with my own kids, I
know plenty of teachers andparents and caregivers who sit
down and read through those sickquickly, just to re spark
certain conversations and noticenew things. So that exists and
is still available. But there'llbe new kind of burgeoning
content as we move forward.
Katie Doughty (12:03):
I love that.
Well, I also noticed on yourwebsite, too. So you have the
blog, and the magazines, whichI'm excited to dive into,
because I noticed that they arethey aren't continuing, but
they're still available, whichis amazing. And you also like to
speak to is IT companies orteachers or educators, your
speaker and give thisinformation out to groups of
people? So who do you talk toyou? And what's kind of a little
(12:26):
bit of, of what you would say tothem?
Unknown (12:31):
Yeah, it really depends on where, you know, everyone's
in a different part of theirjourney, right. As far as anti
bias, anti racist work goes, somuch of that is internal, before
we even look to, you know, doanything external. So it really
is a matter of where people areat and what support they need.
So there are some, you know,large organizations that just
(12:52):
need different flavors of guestspeakers to offer new
perspectives. So you know, forlike Latinx Heritage Month, I'll
go in and talk to largecompanies and kind of give my
singular perspective of whatit's like to be Philippine in
the United States, or we're inbusiness or as a woman, business
owner, things like that. On theeducation side of things, I
(13:14):
prior to publishing this book, Iwas still going in and doing,
you know, little presentationsand assemblies and things like
that, talking about culture andappropriation versus
appreciation for kids,especially around Halloween time
and costumes, how you respectdifferent religious traditions
and holidays and things likethat. So that's kind of the the
kid aspect. But then, mostrecently, I've noticed for
(13:39):
especially moms, women, they, asbusiness owners are trying
really hard to incorporate morejust education, awareness,
respect into their products,into their marketing, you know,
messaging, all of that kind ofstuff. And I'm finding they're
really nervous about beingcancelled when they do it wrong,
(14:01):
or they make a mistake. And somost recently, I've been able to
start working with a lot ofentrepreneurs, a lot of business
owners and leaders who just wantto do better. Have more verbiage
have more resources, and alittle bit more introspection.
And so if and when the day comesthat they are called in or
called out for making a mistake,they're prepared and they can
(14:23):
handle it. And they can kind oftake that with grace and
humility and still pressforward. And that's the most
important part is that wecontinue right like we don't
just stop. Rest is great. Butstopping is not an option. We
all have to push forwardtogether.
Katie Doughty (14:38):
Oh, that's beautiful. I love that that's an
option for people because Ithink it's true. I think we all
struggle with that. We don'twant to say the wrong thing.
It's so different now thateverything you say is out there
for everyone to see and everyoneto critique. And it only takes
one person to make a commentabout it. And then it blows up
so that fear is real, that fearis absolute. We realize that you
(15:01):
are going to say something wrongor incorrectly and then that's
it, you're done. Like, that'show this works in society right
now. So do you offer them? Like,is it like one on one coaching?
Is it the business will hire youand you'll work for six months?
What does that process look likeworking with someone.
Unknown (15:19):
So far, it has been pretty one on one going in as a
consultant. And sometimes it'slike an audit. And we'll work
together for a month. Othertimes, it's sensitivity reads
for you know, content that'll becoming out, whether it's in
print or online. And then soonwhat will be happening is more
of a cohort learning that I'llstart offering. And so I think
(15:41):
it's important that beyond justthe one on one, we we practice
making mistakes in front ofpeople in small, safe spaces, we
practice being vulnerable, wepractice, you know, all of those
types of things. So we also getto learn from each other. And I
really, that's one of the thingsthat as much as I love to doing
the magazine, it was a very onesided conversation. And so I
(16:02):
missed that piece. And so comingback into more consulting and,
and group coaching and thingslike that, I get that piece back
where I get to learn to I getto, you know, kind of glean
insights from other experiencesand perspectives. So it's a
blend, it really depends onwhere you're at. And you know,
kind of what you're able toinvest both time financially,
(16:23):
right? And what what you're ableto invest in, in this one aspect
of of your path. Right, yourjourney.
Katie Doughty (16:31):
Yeah. So when is that cohort coming?
Unknown (16:35):
This fall, actually, this fall, we'll start we'll
start kicking that one off,
Katie Doughty (16:38):
how exciting so people can look out for that.
And definitely for that, that'sexciting. How cool is that? So
tell me more about what is it?
Let me think of how to phrasethis question. What's like one
thing you wish every parent knewand taught their child? Is there
like one specific mission thatyou have that like, if I can
(17:00):
make sure parents understandthis? We will be okay. I know,
that's a big broad question.
Unknown (17:09):
And, you know, like, within the context of, you know,
our kind of collective theme andconversation and whatever I
think, for me, as a parent, theone thing that I hope I can
raise my children to learn be,do you know, what have you is?
Oh, gosh, it's like twofold islike one, like, love yourself
(17:32):
and love your own boundaries,right? Whatever that looks like,
like, be ready for that to morphand evolve and change, and you
know, all of those things. Buton the other side of that, like
I missed has to be uncomfortableat times. You know, like, if
everything that you do to, like,help others in the world, is
(17:53):
putting a smile on your face andis hunky dory and super happy?
Like, you're probably not doingenough or you're not doing it
right, right? Like, is it whatthey actually need? Because it
should be an element ofdiscomfort, sacrifice, kind of
setting oneself aside, you know,so So Can all of those things,
be fun and happy? And of course,like, and you should feel good
(18:14):
about the things that you do.
But I think feelinguncomfortable is a hard thing to
teach kids because he wants toteach them to listen to their
gut and stranger danger, youknow, like all of these things.
So really helping them calibratewhat is a healthy level of
discomfort, I think and the onlyway to do that is through like
repetition and modeling andpresenting those opportunities.
(18:36):
Because this is a tricky one.
It's a tricky one to helpcelebrate that.
Katie Doughty (18:42):
Yes, it is. And I think about that with my own
kids and trying to navigatewhat's an appropriate amount to
expose them to and talk about inand help out with and what is
not for kids in there's a fineline there with what's out there
in the world and kind ofprotecting their innocence for a
little bit longer. But I readthat book, deep kindness by
(19:04):
Houston craft, I'm not sure ifyou're familiar with that. But
he it's a really, really greatbook. But he talks about
kindness is uncomfortable. Andin kindness is a journey you
will be on for the rest of yourlife. Like you don't just
achieve and you make it to theend. But it's something that you
have to work through and putyourself in situations that are
(19:27):
uncomfortable and don't feelthat happy, joyful feeling that
you think of sometimes when youthink of the word kindness, and
that's a hard concept to grasp Ithink because there is this
stigma of kindness that it'sthis kind of rainbows and
confetti and you know, it wasthat close sprinkle it like
confetti, right? And he debunksthat so quickly in his book and
(19:49):
for me coming in when I hadfirst started reading and I was
like, wait, no, I love thoseposters. And I have shirts and
like that's, that's what I have,but it really makes you realize
and understand and kindness isuncomfortable. And that's okay.
That is something that we areworking on. And something we
need to keep talking about andbringing forth with our kids. So
(20:11):
do you have any recommendationsfor parents then, like, have an
example of getting a littleuncomfortable with their kid, or
giving them opportunities likethat.
Unknown (20:22):
So there's, there are a couple of things. One, I would
say, personally, I have foundthat kids lit is incredibly
helpful in this arena, right.
And so whether that's kind ofmore traditional, you know,
picture books, and chapter booksand things like that, and just
making sure that we'reincorporating as many diverse
perspectives as possible, butalso making sure we're reading
(20:45):
alongside them, especially asthey get older, right? We're not
always pre reading every chapterbook or you know, so making sure
that we're reading alongsidethem as much as we possibly can.
So that whether they come to uswith, with questions or we come
to them, we make sure thatthey're understanding things, or
at least contemplating things, Idon't think we need to have all
(21:07):
of the answers. And I think it'sa really healthy thing for
caregivers to not have answers.
Because it teaches kids thatyou're not going to check that
box, right? Like you're alwaysgoing to be learning, you're
always going to need some moreperspectives and more contexts
and more information. So it'sgood to model that. But also,
(21:28):
aside from kind of moretraditional kids books, kids co
writes a ton of or publishes aton of books called, you know, a
kid's book about X, right? Akid's book about hunger, a kid's
book about racism, a kid's bookabout white supremacy, right.
And I think those are reallygreat, really digestible, very
tangible concepts, very simple.
But also very informative. Imean, you could, you could
(21:52):
probably pull apart one of thosebooks for a month, and have
multiple conversations, bring inmultiple perspectives. Because
if we're waiting for organicopportunities, we're waiting a
long time those kids are gonnabe grown and gone before you've
had all the conversations thatyou hoped you would have had,
you know, along their childhood.
(22:14):
So I think having those buildingthose little scaffoldings in to,
you know, parenting is, ishealthy trick, right to make
sure that those thoseconversations are happening.
Katie Doughty (22:25):
Yes, I love that you're brought up children's lit
because I am very passionateabout kids books, because I
think they do lend themselves tohaving those conversations that
you probably wouldn't be havingorganically all the time. And so
every book gives an opportunityto talk about a different
scenarios that they mightencounter sometime in their
life, maybe not right now. Butthey can look back and connect
(22:48):
with those characters. Andremember some of the things they
talked about moving forward withwhatever situation arises. So
I'm curious, then, what sparkedyou to write a book because your
first book is out only a transitaway? Where did that passion
come from? And then when did youdecide I have to write this?
Unknown (23:12):
My story's a little different from others who are
also traditionally published, Iactually had consulted for the
publisher for a couple of years.
And I never aspired to be anauthor, I was not writing a
book. But eventually, we werecreating opportunities for them
to usher in more diverseauthors. And so really looking
(23:32):
at the way they edited, reallylooking at the way they promoted
opportunities, how they wentthrough manuscripts, and just
kind of breaking down barriersthat, you know, queer bipoc
People might might be facing intheir process without them
realizing. And so, kind of onthe on the tail end of that, it
was, Well, hey, Nadine, wouldyou like to write a book? And
(23:55):
immediately my guts, like, no,like, I'm not a writer. Not even
close, I can talk all day long.
But if you tell me put somethingon paper, I'm gonna stare at a
blank page for like 10 years.
And so, you know, I thoughtabout it. And there was a sense
of responsibility, honestly,there was a sense of
(24:16):
responsibility for for littlebrown girls and boys to see
themselves represented betterand in children's books. And so
that's kind of what what turnedmy you know, ahead a little into
the opportunity. And then I justhad to make sure they had really
good editors tell stories, butas long as you can edit them so
(24:37):
that they're not, you know,incoherent that'd be great.
Partnering that way, which savedme years of you know, submitting
manuscripts and rejections andyou know, all the things that
most writers have to face likethose are really real
challenges. So I was supergrateful for the opportunity a
weighty sense of responsibility.
(25:01):
but then ultimately, my firstmanuscript was rejected, which
is a funky thing when you feellike you're being commissioned
to write something. Wow. Yeah,it was, they rejected it. And
they're, you know, after workingon it for a year, and they're
like, you know, it's just, wejust can't, we can't move this
forward, I think it was alittle, a little too radical.
(25:21):
That's okay, I'm gonna hold thatin a drawer for a little bit and
pull it out and dust it off andfigure out where a better spot
might be for that one. But thenext one, the next manuscript
that we worked on was only atransit away, and that is
loosely based on my childhood,and my dad braiding my hair when
I was little girls. Andtranslate means braid in
Spanish. And that one, I think,pull their heartstrings enough
(25:45):
where they're like, Okay, this,this one's gotta move forward.
That's, that's how that kind ofcame full circle.
Katie Doughty (25:51):
It's very sweet.
And I would be curious to know alittle bit more about how it is
loosely based, I want to hearmore about your dad and some of
the things maybe did he take youon some adventures? Was he
pretty creative, andimaginative? Or was that more of
like, the part of him braidingyour hair was true, but then the
rest is like, the creative partfrom you.
Unknown (26:14):
Ah, that's, that's mostly what it was, if, you
know, I'm being completelyhonest, like braiding was not my
favorite. As a little girl, Ihad this long, you know, Latina
hair, that it was very muchutilitarian to braid hair, it
was out of tradition, it was farmore just just maintenance, to
(26:35):
make sure that, you know, thenext morning, it wasn't going to
be just this big old rat's nest.
And so it was something that wasroutine. It was something you
know, but I, but I do rememberfondly. I have one older sister,
I do remember fondly that I hadthat time individually with my
dad. And that it was just mytime whether we talked whether
we didn't whether I was crying,because it was my hair was
(26:57):
hurting, or like any of that itwas still this moment in time
where it was just him and I, andwe had other you know,
opportunities as I got older,and we bonded over different
things, you know, et cetera. Butas a young girl, my sister and I
were only 18 months apart, maybe20 months apart. And so we were
very much treated like twinsgrowing up. And so we were kind
(27:18):
of at the hip and matchingoutfits and matching hairstyle,
you know, all that kind ofstuff. So to have that just
moment of individuality, right?
Like just that moment ofindividual attention. kind of
stuck with me. And so fromthere, it was like, Okay, how do
I take this and turn it intosomething more, better or worse,
(27:41):
I don't know. But like, justsomething more. And for me, as a
parent, I try and I'm notperfect, and I certainly can
improve. But I try and takethose dull moments that are
otherwise just routine, orutilitarian or whatever. And
like, judge them up, right?
Like, take the chance to, youknow, have some fun, or be silly
or have a deeper conversation,even if it's just overdriving
(28:04):
the dishes or you know, likewhatever it might be. And so
trying to model that a littlebit in the book is like, what,
what normally is like routine,or, you know, kind of not fun,
or you know, whatever it is, canwe take those opportunities to
bond with our children a littlebit more deeply? And that was
the
Katie Doughty (28:24):
hope. Oh, well, you did a beautiful job. Because
I just first of all, the storyis gorgeous. And I love the idea
of that one on one time withdad, right? Because kind of
stereotypical dad isn't usuallythe one that will be braiding
hair. And so I love that that'spart of like, look what Dad can
do, and this time that I get tospend with him. And it's very
(28:44):
obvious in the book when whendad doesn't come home from work.
How devastated she is, shemissed that time with him. So it
wasn't the act of braiding hair.
It was the act of being with herdad. And I just love that part
of the story. And then can youspeak a little bit about to
what's braided in to her hairand the meaning behind that
(29:06):
because I got goosebumps when Iread that part. And I just
wanted to hear your story of howyou created that.
Unknown (29:17):
The braid at least traditionally, what we were
braided have three sections orthree parts. And I I feel like
it can be open tointerpretation. It can be you
know, different cultures havehave different meanings behind
braids. And there wasn'tnecessarily a hard and fast
explanation for why we braidedthe way we did. And I thought it
(29:39):
means something to me. What Whatshould it mean? What can it
mean? How can we open this up tobe something was just relatable,
right and also empowering. Andso looking at those three
sections of braids, that's wheremy you know, sense of
radicalizing kindness kind ofcame into play. And so the three
sections I have represented orone for kids to love themselves
(30:05):
as they are. And as they hope tobe those things, even as an
adult, as a woman, especially asa mom wearing different hats,
and whatever, you always thinkyou're falling short, or I
thought I'd be better at this,or I'd accomplish this in my
career or feel like I'm failingas a parent, right? Like all
those things. But it's also,it's important to remember that
we can love who you are, andalso want to be better those
(30:28):
things can happensimultaneously. It's not one or
the other. And so I wanted kidsto hear that from an early age.
The second section of the braidwas others who will need our
love. And that talks a lotabout, you know, kind of the
kindness, right, the advocacy,the looking outside of
ourselves, and making sure thatwe are being mindful of what's
(30:49):
around us and having that senseof community. And, and then the
third section is the people thatlove us, right, our family, our
friends, our mentors, you know,our ancestors, people who have
put in the time, the work thesacrifice, to do what they can
to to help us along. So thoseare the three sections of the
(31:10):
brain. And I think it's, Iwanted it to be something that
was anchored to her right, likeher hair is not going anywhere.
But then also like, my boys,they have short hair, they've
never braided their hair. And sothey we had a school tradition
for a little while where we'dmake baby braided bracelets. So
they could still carry a braidwith them right and have that
(31:32):
just sense of security and senseof confidence and be emboldened
by that.
Katie Doughty (31:38):
And kids love that kind of stuff. And they are
they're so smart, they can pickup on that kind of stuff. So
easily, right and reading thisstory to kids, that part of
loving who you are, but but alsoloving who you will be. I mean
that I know that was written fora child, but it hit me at my
(31:58):
core because it's true. As amom, as a woman, as an
entrepreneur, I keep thinking, Ineed to do this, or I will get
here I'm trying to get here. Andthis is what I want to do. When
really right now, like thingsare great. And I'm doing great.
And I need to remind myself thatthis is where it's at. And I
need to love this moment aswell. So I love that that was
(32:21):
part of the lesson in this inthis book. And then keeping
those in mind who will need you,I think is such a huge mission
to, to give to our kids, rightlike for our parents who have
the ability to show, we have tolook out for others, that is a
main part of the fabric of whowe are, we have to look out for
(32:43):
others. And so having that likeyou only got three to choose
from, and you pick really goodones. So I loved that. And then
also holding close, who loves usdearly, and who will be there,
whether they're here in spiritin physical form. They love you.
And so I just love those threedifferent ones. And I did notice
in the back of the book, youtalked about your tradition of
(33:06):
braiding bracelets. So did youtell this story to your kids
before you wrote it as achildren's book? Or how did that
come up in your family? As faras the bracelets?
Unknown (33:19):
That's a good question.
So you know, this story wasn'teven on my mind, right until I
got my first manuscriptrejected. I'm like, Okay, back
to the drawing board. But Ithink subconsciously, like
braids have always beensomething near and dear to my
heart. And it just manifests indifferent ways at different
times, and ultimately ended upin this story. But when we made
those bracelets, it was we hadjust moved out of state we knew
(33:43):
nobody, I just had a baby and Iwas struggling a bit with
postpartum and where we hadnormally homeschooled it was the
first year I was sending myolder kids to public school. And
so that for me, was them takingpart of me with them, right and
then feeling like they weren'talone that they were connected.
And just an easy visualreference of like, Hey, we're
(34:09):
still you know, we're stillconnected. We're still
intertwined, whether we'rephysically together or not. And
so I guess it's something that'sjust evolved over time, but it's
it's a sentiment that I guesshas just grown since I was a
little kid. Yeah,
Katie Doughty (34:25):
it's so sweet. It reminds me of the book, the
kissing hand. If you've readthat, where she kisses the hand,
and then they have to hold on toit and we I remember doing that
with my daughter in kindergartenbecause she was so nervous to go
to school but then it helpsright like they it's that
reminder of okay, I will seethem again after school. I can
(34:47):
be brave right now and then Iwill get that hug at the end of
the day. So that physical thatvisual reminder that we are
still here we are connected.
Even though I'm not sittingright next to you. I'm still
with you. In USA, if you wereokay, so I love that you do that
with your kids. And I was tryingto brainstorm to like, what a
cool way? Is there a way that wecan have kids make bracelets for
(35:09):
another community or anothergroup of people that might need
a reminder that people are herelooking out for them? You know,
like, how can we entwine thisinto some kind of project for
kids, because who doesn't loveto make bracelets, that would be
really fun. And just,
Unknown (35:27):
you know, like, a twist on friendship bracelets, like,
you know, to remind people thatyou are, you know, like, a lot
of kids, especially if you'relike, I don't have good friends,
or, you know, the friends Ithought I had didn't shape up
the way I thought they would, orthis particular situation
changed our friendship. And sojust, I think as a, as kind of a
banner right to remind kidslike, Hey, if you see me with
(35:48):
this bracelet, you know, youhave a friend in me. And, and
kind of creating that thatmessage or symbolism or whatever
it is, because as much as wewant to gift things. I think
it's far more about the intent,right than the actual gift. And
so making sure that themessaging is clear of like, I
want to give this to you, notbecause I want you to fancy
dresses, but because I want youto see that you have a friend in
(36:10):
me like whenever you need me.
Katie Doughty (36:11):
Yeah, the symbolism behind it. I like what
you just said to about. It's notnecessarily about the gift. It's
about the intent behind it.
Because I've done some projectswith my kids where, you know, it
didn't turn out the way that Ithought it was going to turn
out. And I thought we were goingto be able to give bigger, or
donate more money or have moreto give. But so I'll give you an
example. We did piggy banks, wemade paper mache piggy banks,
(36:36):
and we were raising money forchildhood cancer research. And
we set it out. They chose theirgymnastics location. So they put
it up there. And it was therefor like a week. And we went to
go pick it up, and they're allexcited. And we go and we dump
out the money. And there's like$4 in there. And I was
disappointed, right? Because Idon't know, you just have this
(36:56):
expectation. But the kids werethrilled, like they could not
believe that there were $4 inthat piggy bank, and they got to
donate that. And that was themoment I thought, oh my gosh,
it's not about the money. It'sthe fact that they know they did
something to help someone else.
And so I love what you'resaying, it doesn't have to be
(37:18):
this big, grand gesture, it canbe something so simple, just
saying, I will be your friend, Iam here for you. And I love that
only consider
Unknown (37:28):
as a mom, that you brought awareness to something
far deeper than they probablywould have ever experienced at
that age, right? They theysacrifice time and resources and
invested in doing something fora kid they probably have never
met before or will never meet.
And so even just thosepractices, you know, when they
look at a piggy bank, as theyget older, like they're going to
have a connection there or youknow, and so I think we do as
(37:49):
adults especially get caught upin the results of things when we
forget that the results are farmore transcendent when when
investing in children and theway that they think and learn
and connect than it is about youknow, how much money we raised
or how many bracelets we made oryou know, whatever it is
Katie Doughty (38:07):
exactly. And that's such a good reminder,
because they're not holding onto that, right. It's the adults
that told it that me it me I'mholding on to it. And I've since
let that go for sure. Becausenow I have seen and watched them
learn and grow in this processof trying to help other people
that I know the benefits are notmonetary. They are not tangible
(38:28):
you they're there in theirhearts. And that's the whole
point. Yeah. Oh, my goodness,yes. Well, is there anything
else you can think of that?
Maybe you really want to put outin the world for kids like or
any other opportunities you canthink of for parents to help get
their kids involved in some ofthese conversations? I know you
(38:51):
said kid lit. But is thereanything else coming down that
you are working on or anythingother books coming along? That
might be Do you have one morebook
Unknown (39:02):
that's in the works?
It'll be a while it'll be outnext fall, if all goes well,
which is never guaranteed, butone can hope? I think for me, I
really do think that the bestthing that any parent or
caregiver or anyone who mentors,children can do is invest in
themselves, you know, do thework themselves. The more that
(39:23):
you're engrossed in the twistyfeelings, the hard history, the
realities of you know, politicalclimates and you know, just just
the things that really causemembers of our communities to
struggle. The more you're goingto have those organic
(39:46):
conversations, because it'sgoing to be front of mind you're
going to be hyper aware of howthings are transcend you know,
transpiring in your owncommunity. And so it really is a
matter of you doing the work asthe adult It's because, you
know, like, my kids have asked,you know, well, when can I start
a business? When can I, youknow, do these things. And I'm
like, Well, when you can get alicense, you can get a job when
(40:08):
you have your own car, you know,because they're along for the
ride with me wherever I go. Andso it's the same with anti bias,
anti racist work, it's the samewith, you know, social emotional
learning, unpacking childhoodtraumas, right, all of those
things as we do the work asadults, like those kids are
along for the ride, whether theylike it or not. And so they are
second hand recipients of thework that we invest in. So I
(40:31):
would say, as adults, I wishthere was a cheat sheet, I wish
there was, you know, a quickMonopoly game where we check all
the boxes and do all thetransactions and we you know,
all sudden, or have no biases,and no, you know, racist
thoughts, which would be lovely.
But the reality is, you know,like you said, from the
beginning, there is no checkingthis box, it's, it's a journey.
(40:53):
And so as much as we can investin that journey ourselves, the
kids get to reap the benefits ofthat just as much, if not more
so, because they get to see ourmistakes, too. And as long as
we're transparent and can humbleourselves as often as we can,
we're never going to be perfect.
They, they will definitely havethose conversations more
(41:17):
fluidly, more often, and moregenuinely with you, because they
see that you're ready for that.
I think our kids try and protectus more than we realize. And so
if we can show them that we'reready to have hard
conversations, we can show themthat we're okay making mistakes,
(41:38):
then we can handle them withsome degree of grace. They'll be
ready to purchase with thingstoo, that might feel twisty to
them.
Katie Doughty (41:47):
Yeah, I think that's the perfect answer. Kids
are always watching. They arealways watching. Even when you
don't think they are good. Theywill come back and tell me
something later. I'm like, yep,you saw that. Cool. So it's
something to keep in mind. And Ithink to your right, giving them
that opportunity at a youngerage, they'll be more equipped.
And I think having the examplethat you are trying to
(42:12):
understand people and you aretrying to be better, and you are
trying like just the fact thatyou're trying, right, you're
showing that you are keeping anopen mind about different types
of people and that it's okay tomake a mistake. And I didn't get
that right. But I'm going tolearn about it and try harder
next time. What a valuable thingthat you can give to your kids.
(42:33):
Do you have any bookrecommendations for adults who
do want to take more time tolearn and grow and change? Yes,
so
Unknown (42:45):
Dr. Abram X kendi has some wonderful books, how to be
an anti racist how to raise ananti racist. I'm trying to think
Britney Hawthorne BrittHawthorne also has a really
great one that's raising antiracist children. I think those
are they they even haveworkbooks for kids, probably on
(43:08):
the older side of children liketweens and teens. But it
wouldn't be a bad thing like me.
And white supremacy also has aworkbook to kind of like dive
in, I think we can run the riskof you know, shelf help, right,
we read a book and stick in theshelf, never think of it again.
And so the ones that areaccompanied by workbooks or
journal prompts or things likethat, that really cause you to
(43:30):
pause and have those moments ofself reflection are probably
most beneficial, at least tostart with to start that that
practice. There's also a greatbook that's called how to do the
work. That's a lot about kind ofunpacking our own traumas and
childhoods. And that getsintertwined with with some other
(43:51):
work as well. So those thosewould be my recommendations.
Katie Doughty (43:56):
Oh, those are great, thank you. I would love
something to work alongside mykid, you know, with with
something like a journal promptthat you can both answer at the
same time. And you said maybetweens and teens, but it'd be
cool to have an opportunity toyou know, here's the here's the
question or the prompt, you goanswer I'll go answer and let's
(44:18):
talk about it. Because the work,like we talked about is never
done. So I'm still working,they're working. They're just
getting started on their work.
But I would love something likethat. So if you find anything or
have a good recommendation, Iwould be thrilled to know
Unknown (44:35):
actually, in each edition of mighty kind magazine,
you'll find prompts like thatfor both parents and kids. And
some of them I think are reallyinteresting. The the new book
that I'm working on has a lot todo with social emotional
learning. And I had an amazingconversation with an art
therapist, talking about howinteracting with creativity
(44:57):
creating something as areflection of However kids are
perceiving their worlds is areally great conversation
starter. So whether it's drawinglike draw me a safe place like
that, you know, like, draw me,you know, those types of things,
what makes you feel warm insidedraw me a picture of that.
Because if we leave those thingsopen ended and lead with an
emotion lead with lead with aconnection, like the rest
(45:21):
trickles down, and we can openup those conversations. But
there was a really interestingkind of warning or word of
caution in there from her, whereshe says, Don't overthink it, it
is a snapshot of a moment intime. Like, if when you say, you
know, what makes you sad, right.
And they draw this likethunderstorm and their dog is in
(45:41):
a puddle. You know, like all ofthese things like, it could have
just been Thursday morning, theywere bummed that they stepped in
a puddle, right, it doesn't meanthey're afraid their dogs gonna
die. And the world's coming downon that, you know, like, it is a
snapshot of a moment in time.
And I think even in ourjourneys, as we learn and grow,
to remember that of ourfeelings, some of them are going
(46:05):
to arc for the rest of ourlives. Like for better for
worse, that's just how humannature is going to be. The there
are other times as we do hardthings or unpack like difficult
histories or conversations orinteractions. Like we can take
those feelings and remember thatthey were a reflection of a
moment in time and just sloughthem like a snake skin, like
(46:26):
that served me in that moment Ilearned, I can do better. I
don't have to hold on to theguilt, the anger, the
bitterness, those types ofthings, that that even our
emotions, as adults are areflection of a moment in time
that maybe has a deep historyand lots of things can bubble
up. But we have permission tolet those things go so that we
(46:46):
can move forward, we can youknow, push past them. Wow,
Katie Doughty (46:50):
that was really powerful. And a really great
piece of advice. What a greatreminder, it's so true. As a
mom, I will obviously willalways read into what my kids
are saying or what they drew,why did you draw that? What does
that mean? Like? What what arewhat should I be worried? Am I
doing something wrong? Am Igoing in the wrong direction
here? And then you're on yourright holding on to your own
(47:11):
guilt? Like I made a mistake?
Oh, my gosh, I can't let it go.
Like, how do I get through this?
It's something that I hold on toyou. But you're right. Being
able to let that go learn fromit. Let it go. And move on is
such a wonderful thing to modelfor our kids and obviously for
ourselves. Definitely. And Ilove that you're like, oh, wait,
(47:31):
hold on, I have something foryou just get the mighty kind
magazine, because I alreadyinvented.
Unknown (47:38):
So privileged for that area. And it's good to know that
those resources are unwanted.
And we'll I'll find a way. Yeah,yeah. Now, doing those exercises
are helpful. Whether you pick upthe magazine or not just sitting
down and CO creating art can bea really powerful opportunity
for that.
Katie Doughty (47:56):
I like that and kids connect to art, that's
something that they understand.
And then they can do you handand mccrane. And they're not
gonna be like glue to where youdo with them, they will go. And
so that's a really great way tokind of dive and get a little
sneak peek into their brain andtheir mind and what's going on
inside in a safe way that theyfeel. Oh, this is familiar. I
got this. Yeah, that's reallycool. So tell us where can we
(48:16):
find all the things? Whereshould we follow you? What
websites should we be lookingat, tell us all the things.
Unknown (48:26):
So the simplest would be the website which is mighty
kind kids.com. So kids isplural. That's also all of my
social handles. So Instagram,Twitter, threads, hey, all that
it's all going to be at mightykind kids. And then only a
trends away you can findwherever books are sold. So any
(48:48):
of your favorite bookstoresbookshop.org is a great spot to
support small small independentown bookstores and so that's
that's a great spot. But if yougotta go with two day shipping,
Amazon's got it to you.
Katie Doughty (49:01):
And it comes quickly. I love shopping local,
I love our local bookstore andso I try to go there as much as
possible because I just like thesmell of it. I like to walk in
and just that feel of the booksand it's my favorite place to
just browse
Unknown (49:16):
the whole vibe. No matter what store you walk into.
It's a whole vibe. I love ittoo.
Katie Doughty (49:21):
Is I always have cute little knickknacks and
gifts and I don't know it's justa fun experience. It's better
than getting it on your frontdoor. Only in terms of a highly
recommend go out and buy it.
It's fantastic. It needs to beon your bookshelf also it looks
really pretty. The illustrationsare gorgeous. So having it out
on your table or out on yourshelf is is beautiful. It
(49:43):
reminds me of the colors. Theycan't see this but in your
background. Yeah, your picturesI feel like those colors are
very similar to what was used inthe art but well done. You are
doing such a beautiful, amazingthings in this world and I am
excited I have to keep followingyou and keep learning from you.
I'm gonna go check out your blogand I will be forwarding all of
(50:03):
your information to everyone Iknow because it's just so
important. It's just soimportant and I am grateful that
you are putting in the work tomake this world a better place.
So, thank you. Thank you forchatting with me today.
Absolutely. Thanks
Unknown (50:20):
for having me. Thanks for all you do. It's a
collective bandwidth for sure.
So, thanks for pushing itforward as well.
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