EP 3 DJ Spuntaneous and his father

DJ Spuntaneous and his father sit down and speak together about their experiences, regrets, hopes, and dreams in life.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to Raw Talk with Lyrical Ag Roll. Today we have DJ Spontaneous and also Lee

(00:08):
Master Lee. Master Lee. Y'all gonna find out why they call him Master Lee in a second.
But go ahead man just introduce yourself like what do you be doing and you know.
I mean DJ spontaneous I'm in the music industry I own the spontaneous entertainment.

(00:31):
So you know I'll be doing shows I was doing a lot of shows last year and that kind of
stopped because you know one of the main clubs I was working with it closed down.
Damn what happened? It's called B Show and then there was a lot of things that happened.
A lot of bullshit. Yeah and then you know some of the fire alarms.
Sound like some shite shit went down. What about you?

(00:55):
Me I do a lot of before I come to that country in 1982 there were a lot of different.
That's how does a man live with shit. That's how I come into prison.
I've been doing it for 29 years. Lost all my time. I feel sorry for my kids.
People go oh you know the father in the side. They need something I can't give them. I'm in prison.
You're in prison. Yeah that's why I feel sorry for my wife.

(01:17):
I feel sorry for her but her family 33 years and her wife.
Actually you said you did 33 years in prison. No 29 years.
I love China but my wife will come back here. It's really really.
She called me and we're gonna get the case out.

(01:41):
Well I mean okay that was a lot you know at once. Let me try to break this down.
So you're from China originally. Yes.
And you just said you did 29 years in prison. Yeah.
And I mean I can't even begin to imagine.

(02:08):
You haven't seen your son in a long time.
Now my son at the end he grew up a little bit. He came to see me.
I always went to the visit. He came to see you all the time.
And then my granddaughter say oh that's where you're from.
He grew up on the other side. I grew up on the inside. That's where he filled me up.
So you know when I was younger the only time I saw him was through prison walls.

(02:32):
I had to visit him every time. I never saw him in the real world.
There's always you know in prison when I went to visit him.
Until last year when he came out. He just came out last year.
And how old are you? 33.
I love the Chinese. She's Boling. I love her Boling.

(02:54):
A long time. My wife will call my son. The whole family.
My wife will visit her. I ain't take her anything.
That's why I feel ashamed with the father.
That's why I'm not going to go out with the whole family together.
I'm going to try to be healthy. I'm going to work a job. That's it.
How did you um can you say your first what's your full name in Chinese?

(03:14):
Speak in Chinese if it's okay.
My name is Li Yongliang.
That's your name.
And um basically how did you meet your wife?
My wife will meet me trying to marry.
You guys married in China before?
I came to China. I paid 33 grand. I'm a desert and I like coming here.

(03:36):
That's why you bring things so different.
You come to other countries. All the American law you don't understand anything.
That's why you do some crazy shit.
So you came to America first?
Yeah I came to America first.
And then your wife came?
Yeah my wife will come. If my wife will come I will knock that away.
You've been locked up already?

(03:57):
Yeah I think she got knocked up like what 1994?
First time in 1992. I came to America about six months later.
What a person.
But how did your wife end up coming over?
Come the same thing. I paid 33 grand. Same thing.
33 thousand dollars? So you saw a maximum.
By something I that's not the natural rule. You want to come you come.

(04:20):
He got to bring you star by star. The apple come.
So both of you guys paid 33 thousand and it was illegal?
They come yeah. That's what most Chinese people still come.
Right now they can come to Mexico and share that things.
How old were you when you met your wife?

(04:41):
My wife and me we were young little kids. We went to school together.
Like childhood?
Yeah childhood. Neighborhoods.
How many girlfriends did you have before you met her?
Before I... But Chinese not like this. A lot of girls. They grow up different.
I used to go out to other cities with the girls. But most of them were my wife.

(05:02):
So you stayed faithfully?
Yeah I come from that country. My wife when I'm here, it's those of me state that get the girls.
But Chinese and me, that's all brings. Think of different.
But not like that. A girlfriend change you like her parents. Not like this.
How is there... So you said she was pregnant already?
Yeah. Now she's pregnant. My father called me. My uncle be here.

(05:25):
He called me to come to America. That's how I come out.
But what I'm saying is she was pregnant in China already?
Yeah. Pregnant in China.
And then when she came she gave birth?
Oh hey no. She born already.
Oh in China. So you were born in China?
I was born in China. I came here 2000.
Oh wow. So how old were you when you came to America?

(05:46):
I think about 6, 7 years old.
I think about 8, 9. I was 8 turning 9 when I came here.
Shit. So you must have had it kind of hard.
Real hard.
That way of hard man. That kids grow up no further. That's the way of hard. That's where I feel ashamed.
I grew up with a single parent mother. She worked real hard. I saw her. She went through a lot.

(06:10):
And she's been single ever since. So it was real hard.
And I saw the whole struggle.
Your mom waited. She didn't need anybody for 29 years.
No. She waited a long, long time.
That's a weird long time. I feel ashamed.
How much 33 is a young lady. Take a whole life.

(06:35):
To wait for this.
Do you have any other siblings?
No. Not anymore.
I mean he has another kid but you know different baby mothers.
That's why people mistake. I come to their country first.
Come first. You know you're a single man. Those are stupid shit.
That's what I mean. I feel ashamed. I scare all the other kids.

(06:56):
But you take care of something like that. You can't be the father. That's not the father be.
Sorry. We're in New York City. This is raw.
You know. There's some noise that's going on or whatever.
You know. Just chop it up. It's real shit.
So what. I don't want to get into too many details.

(07:19):
But why did you get locked up for 29 years?
Last night before I come here you know you do some robbery.
Or I open some gambling stock in the horse stores.
That's how you make money. But I got to pay the debt.
So prostitution. Gambling dens.
Yeah. Open the gangs. That's a good little thing before.
I don't know the law. That's why I thought I paid the money.

(07:42):
Be alright. I open up.
But everything that was legal. That's why you do some things.
Like a course. You know. You're making a lot of people come together.
That's why people call you gangs. But me and I we're gangs.
You know what I'm saying. But that's how you bring. You're young. You feel young.
But one person be here. You're not feeling nothing. That's what's bad.

(08:04):
What were your charges exactly?
Before you charged me with kidnapping.
Kidnapping. Like robbery.
Like armed robbery.
Why did you get hit with all of that?
Did they just caught you red handed? Or how did that process go?
He will call you. But some people you're kidnapping.

(08:26):
Some people I had nothing to do. He said you should later.
But he charged you. I said how many? My face didn't have fucking names.
No. The only man in New Hampshire.
So they caught you on camera.
But before I get to be there. The kidnapper. He ain't in there nowhere.
I just locked up. Before the restaurant. Everything be there eating.

(08:48):
But he called me inside.
So the cops got him while he was in the Sheraton. Sheraton hotel right over here.
Yeah. I would eat. I would eat. I would eat. I would eat. I would go there and eat.
Now you call it.
I mean do you think it was a...
That's the last time.
That he called me. That was...

(09:10):
1995.
December 16. I never forget that day.
But that case I had nothing to fucking to do. I helped to see with that man.
He called me fucking kidnapper.
But I let that man go. Go outside. He said yo don't do anything.
But you know he call you later. But you got to defend it before.
You locked that capitaz already. He no believing you no more.

(09:34):
So. So.
You got caught for kidnapping the person called the police on you or?
Yeah. He did. He called the other guy too. He called him.
Was it another Chinese person?
Oh he gone. He go to China. He go to France. Gone.
But the person who called the police on you was he also involved in criminal activities or?

(09:58):
Nah he go to other gangbusters. My friend go other side.
Go beat other guys out.
Now other than the gangs. He know only but he know me.
Yo you people be here.
You have been out.
But I do you favor. I said okay I be there. I go and be there.
So it was a set up.
That's not set up.

(10:19):
She sound like a set up. Definitely. That's not set up.
But other men. I know that the other gangs like dragging.
But I know him. I go ahead. Yo let that man go. Don't do anything.
I said alright you go pick it up. I said I let that man go. I hate your code.
But how did you. How did they pin all of those other charges on you?
Charge they did. Before that case two times already.

(10:42):
You know that guy. I opened a store police lot time.
You already had a record.
Yeah I got two records. That's why you got a record already. You guilty.
Fuck it. Anything.
So before you got locked up for 29 years.
Now before I bail out. I go to regular island.
Four months I bail out.
I thought before you got a little bit of money you be alright.
You say you make a bail account. But that's it.

(11:03):
No more bail.
But that time you were a search.
In the six months that you were in America.
How many times did you go out of the police station before they gave you.
No before nothing that.
Nothing?
Last time I went to the robbers get caught.
Now I go bail out.
After that. I was highly a little something. I don't want to go out.
But some people caught you. I mean they favor doing stupid shit. You know what I'm saying.

(11:26):
So you just. Basically you.
You were trying to make money.
Yeah I tried to make money. Life was better.
But you just got come here. You got anything.
So the person that got kidnapped he was a flying dragon member.
No that's good. A dragon spot.
Other spot opens with a dragon open.
I know that.

(11:47):
But here my people go bail out.
I let him go pick it up. He call me.
Yo I'll give you a face and let him go.
You have to take it out.
That's how I pick it out of the bag. I let him go.
I go yo get out of here.
Okay.
So.
I don't know.

(12:08):
That sounds like a lot man.
That's a lot. That's what I feel.
Only thing I.
I do that I'm not guilty.
But I feel sorry for my kids. My wife.
That all go out. That's good.
I'm going to go out. I don't even know my part.
Yo part bad this. I feel it too.
Now my kids ain't got anything.
He go to school to here.
No father.
Looking like he go out no father.

(12:37):
Bag. It picked up.
Oh go go.
Food.
Down with you.
Go.
What was that?
Oh.
How did how did you grow up in China then?
As when you were young or you poor or rich.
I'll be saying I'm my father.

(12:59):
The farmer.
Your father was a farmer.
Yeah.
But when I my father about 95 years old.
I heard me live alone.
So my grandpa and my grandma.
You know they own like huge tea fields.
In China in the mountains.
And that's why I grew up as well. I grew up in the mountains.
Why did you want to come to America then?
People thought America

(13:21):
live it good man.
How is your relationship like with your father?
Oh me my father good.
My father good.
I respect him.
My father father own way.
He be there like a Christian.
He be the pastor long time.
About 27 years.
27 years.
He be doing at least

(13:43):
65 years.
65 years.
65 years.
So he's been a pastor for at least 65 years.
Your father.
Right now in China he's slowly he want to teach it.
The God bless you. He's healthy.
But in China
the pastor
Nugi Pei. You understand.
He's 27 years old. He's slowly.

(14:05):
But me you know like Saturday night.
Sunday morning.
Every week two days.
But Nugi Pei. Chinese before poor.
Nugi Pei.
So your father was a farmer and a pastor.
A pastor. And that's why the world get together.
God bless you.
The farmer everything go out way good.
That's why God bless you. You go see that.
That's why I come to that country.

(14:27):
My father say I thought
wow he not believe it.
So you get involved.
So if your father is a pastor
you know all that shit.
How he get involved with all this criminal stuff.
You can go outside.
You know English. He speak that all day.
He understand anything.
You know that's good right guru?
You go make him money.

(14:49):
I make it. You pay for it. That's it.
What I'm wondering is
when you were growing up in China and stuff
were you always like
you know involved in like the street stuff?
No never did.
Before I make it
I do some that are the laundry stores.
I open the shop. I do the inside
that they do the drawer. I'm a carpenter.
I do 12 years. I open stores.

(15:11):
I make it very much. I come to that country bad.
So before you came to
America you were not involved in
any criminal activity.
Chinese record. We are children. I'm a guru.
I go to churches.
I go to churches.
The Chinese donation to churches
the left hand don't need the right hand.
The right hand no.

(15:33):
That's because the boss everybody
because of prayer he near the floor.
Not here to take it. He near the floor.
But the boss everybody you want a donation?
The boss ask. I don't need it too.
Like all my grandmother
before New Year come.
But Chinese you know
like you get the grand kids. Get the kids.
Get the rabbi. Like a dollar something.
But Chinese before poor.

(15:55):
Like a 50 cents. One dollar.
Two dollars. Now I get a hundred dollar.
Get the grand kids.
I wear blush.
So you're 61.
Basically
when you were
growing up in China
like you said you respect your father
but you wanted your own life.
That's good. That's my own life.

(16:17):
I before we are good.
You know me I married his wife.
I got mom. Me we
are married. Before that
I got two babies.
All six months. Chinese
to the death. Medical no good.
All lost. So my mom had two
miscarriages before me.
I lost the baby. First time I really
had it. That's me and Yung. The only body.

(16:39):
Now the second one.
The second one is gone.
I said yo man I got no other son in my life.
That's why you
grow out. You're bringing one out.
That's why I go
back. I come to that country.
You be trying to come here.
Don't worry about it. You come to America.
That's why I come to America.
You came to America for basically

(17:01):
you wanted a better life for your wife.
My father said you
used the good. You don't want to do
business no more.
You lost. That means you go to America
and maybe you change your life. That's why I come
to that country.
I come to change you.
Now you go to inside. I owe a whole bunch of
money. I said I gotta pay you. I gotta make it

(17:21):
faster money. That's why you do some
wobbly things to get fast.
Now that's it.
You know you get faster money
be outside police look at you
quick.
Now
healthy and happy.
I'm gonna change you.
Now I work at supermarket six days

(17:43):
a week. I feel happy.
I change you. But I feel people guilty.
Life will not be like this.
Like a young kid. I don't want to go
back.
Those who are wrong, you can pay for it.
And nothing will free you.
Nothing in the world is free.
Yeah. That's what happened all my time. I can't say
I only feel sorry for my son and my wife.
I have nothing nobody.

(18:05):
My father, my brother
will take care of it. Who will take care of my son
and my wife? Nobody.
My wife go to war.
He come here no injury too.
It's really the kids so hard man.
But I be the inside
you go thinking more times.
I be say nothing to do everyday.
Childishly eat yaw. Thinking thinking.
Now you feel sorry now. They call the call.

(18:27):
Oh man. But sometimes you know
you be young you know bring.
You lie down you got time to think now. You feel
sorry. Like we are saying
sometimes you use the phone. You don't want to call the phone.
You know ask people say kids need
help. What you help? I help you anything.
What you go oh you
that's not work. New year you need to buy
something. You need to buy some shoes.
Which I get nothing. That's why I feel

(18:49):
ashamed.
And I guess
I guess since we started
you keep saying like you feel like ashamed.
Right now course ashamed.
How I go here I lost everything.
I lost my kids. I never share
together. I bring my kids go to
the street. Better stop buy something.
Every father need that. But I can't get.
My son can't get. I lost all

(19:11):
the good times.
You feel like lost.
Yeah. That's
bad man. That's why
my wife we told her to piss me off. I can't
see anything. I think I'm wrong.
Right. That's why I told her
sometimes he talk too much man.
But I can't see anything.
But he did say. You know
what I think

(19:35):
you're a very strong person because
I think most people
do 29 years in
prison. I mean they come up fucked up in the head.
A lot of brings. People take a job.
Other people take two years job. I quit.
My brother say look at your face like a
white boy. I say you lost a lot of ways
that I think wrong.
But that time I could make money. I saw the job inside.
But you gotta take a test.

(19:57):
Sign. Oh that shit good.
Cut them more. They got dog cuts more.
I don't know.
I quit. I don't want to do that no more.
That's why you want to go out.
You got a little chance to go out.
You got to get out to go out.
But I really you know
in a way some people might think it's like
bullshit or whatever. But what you're saying
to me is that like you

(20:19):
you're being very real right now because
you were literally just trying
to give a good life to your
family. It was nothing personal.
Whatever it is. Everybody
makes mistakes. Nobody's fucking perfect.
But you know some people
actually enjoy being a criminal.
They enjoy hurting people.
They enjoy you know doing what they do.
For what I'm hearing from you

(20:41):
it's just business.
You know you. That's what I think.
I open the store.
Man come and support me.
He pay.
I got to pay everything for him.
I thought that's good.
It wasn't about being a gangster.
It wasn't about being you know cool.
It was I want to provide
for my family. Yeah I just want to make it better.

(21:03):
I'm not going to disappoint my father.
I'm fucking here already. Whatever it fucking takes
I'm going to do it right. Yeah.
Whatever it fucking takes you know.
And that was my goal.
Yeah it bring my heart thinking.
If we think of the truth
about Chinese you'll be Chinese.
Oh that's not good. But you'll be here
at the moment going everything free.
You'll see he'll do anything.

(21:25):
That's going to bring difference.
So I think he's trying to get to
like you know how it all started for you
how did it.
Life better that's it.
All you wanted to do was live life better.
Yeah. Well I mean there's one time
he used to work a hard
like restaurant job.
And then at the restaurant job you know they get paid
every like once a month.

(21:47):
This is New York. New York.
Queens. New York Queens.
That's what was bad. I come out American
second day I go to work.
1992 I go to restaurant work.
That flashing man
on 38th Avenue.
I pay $600
a week a month.
Two week. Two week
a week. Every day work 13 hours.

(22:09):
That's how I pay low. Five week week.
I come back. I leave my
uncle live in Jamaica.
I take a bus to sit down.
I get robbed.
I get robbed. He got three guns
pulling my hands. I got nothing to do. I got three hands
that got my hand
the bear. He's the same the bear. He's my hands.
Now I got a little hurly in my neck.
I go my uncle. Uncle tell

(22:31):
me how you come late. I say yo uncle
I'll be outside the corner. I get robbed.
My uncle never believe it. So this happened in
Jamaica. That's too like your uncle robbed you?
No no no. People
robbing me. I come to tell them my uncle.
His uncle didn't believe him. He didn't believe me.
I get robbed. Okay. Now I
was spanking my uncle. My uncle
he didn't believe me.
That's what make me mad. I didn't see anything.

(22:53):
The things he gambled or some
spent it on girls or some bullshit like
that. But you got robbed. But no he said why
I don't believe it. I told him your uncle was outside the corner
there. I get robbed. But you got hurt
though right? Yeah I mean that
kind of bear is a little bit
okay to rob. Was it like any blood?
It's a lot of blood man. And then he didn't
believe you? That's the reason he didn't believe me.
Oh man. That's the reason I go to war. I tell you

(23:15):
another two weeks. Do you still talk
to your uncle or you? I talk to him. I
respect him. Okay.
His uncle the Chinese they respect
it. The old man respect.
That's how I told him.
But after that not the same as before
maybe. That's what the life
was changing me. That's why I come
here. That's what changed you. That's why I
walk another four days. I'm going to put my phone

(23:37):
on silent.
That's what
changed my whole life. I like to be angry. My uncle
believe me. I work in 13
days. Every
day. Was your uncle involved in anything?
No no no he never was. He work
in a restaurant. He
work in a restaurant there. He good.
That's
good. I talk to my uncle

(23:59):
every day. He just
look at my uncle. I went out.
I go get couple pieces.
That's why I do survival story.
So let me just break this down. So you
came to America at first. You
were doing legitimate stuff working at restaurants.
Second day go to restaurant. Come
with the Americans second day. Restaurant
right away. So you started you know
trying to do something legitimate but

(24:21):
after a while you know
I'm not getting paid enough.
I'm not getting paid enough.
I get robbed.
I only work one month. I go out.
I ain't working no more. So after
basically first month in America
you're working your ass off
at the restaurant. You get robbed.
Your uncle doesn't believe you. After
that you're just like fuck this shit.

(24:43):
That's because I got to
get all the mans. That's why
I'm out there 14 days.
He's raising me $650.
I ask him boy give me
a thousand.
I get two pieces. I try to kill
that. So you got involved
in the street activities
after you got
robbed. That was like a

(25:05):
That brain went out. My uncle believe me that
you can't swallow.
But you can't talk to uncle. You can't hear him.
That's why you angry yourself.
That's why after two weeks
I will get a piece of looking at that guy.
I can't find it. Now what you do? Two pieces.
You can't suck my uncle.
I'm a good person. You can't put
a piece in the house. That's why I went out.
You go out.

(25:27):
You got a gun. That's why I went out.
You get a bad guy drawing
that's it. That life will finish.
That's sad though.
You know the only person, the only relative
that you have in America don't even believe you.
And it's hard you know moving from another country
to another.
Moving from China to the US. It ain't easy.
You came from
China to America.

(25:49):
You were working for your
uncle for one month like you said.
You got robbed. He didn't
believe you. After that
you saw red. You know.
And then that's how you
got involved in all that stuff.
And at the end of the day regardless
of whatever happened
all you wanted was a better
life. You just wanted money to take care of your

(26:11):
wife. You just wanted money to
and especially you said you know this is
your first son.
Your first son. And that must have
meant a lot to you. So
I mean that's
the people. My son
born in China. You know.
I live in other city already.
But we're long.
I called my father. I said I want to come back.

(26:33):
My father said don't come back. Don't come back.
There's a good horse that never
come back. The Chinese. Why did your father
want to see you?
But he didn't want to see you come back.
Why? Why? Why?
No. He wants you to go to America and good.
Oh he thinks America is better.
So he doesn't know what's going on.
Yeah. That's why I go to America.
That's why I go back. That's why life was bad.

(26:55):
That time I come back.
Nothing happened. I'm patient.
I bring my own business back up.
I bring my own business back up.
I bring my own business back up.
I bring my own business back up.
I bring my own business back up.
You went back to China?
No. Before that time I go back to China.
I got my son. We're happy.
I go back to own business.

(27:17):
Before I miss
the two kids. That's what my
brain was.
It gets you a holiday. I got my life in there.
I have kids. What the fuck can I do all that shit for?
That's why you pull out.
Why did
they call you Master Li?
Master Li, that's a good person.
I play chess with it good.

(27:39):
Sometimes I play the gamble with it good.
That's why I call you Master Li.
Don't fuck with that dude. Master Li, we're too good.
That's why we call you Master Li.
So you play chess and gamble.
Chess, I have a person but
sometimes number one, sometimes second.
What about
you? How did
you grow up?
The first, like

(28:01):
you said, you came to America
when you were seven or eight.
And New York,
Flushing, this is the first place.
No, this wasn't the first place. Where did you come
to first? When I first came here,
I landed in Jamaica
Queens.
So I stayed in Jamaica Queens
for a year and then I came to Flushing.

(28:23):
You were not fluent in English, right?
No, man. I had to learn all that. I didn't
know any of them.
What dialect, the Chinese,
do you guys speak? Wenzhou
Nese.
How did you learn English?
I mean, how?
I went to school as soon as I came here.
They put me in elementary school.
I was in elementary school in Jamaica for a year

(28:45):
and then I came over here. I went to
PS 214
right over here on Union Street.
How did you get into music
and DJing?
I always had a passion.
Like, you know, in
junior high school,
in junior high school,
I attended a boys club and the boys club,

(29:07):
they had this
tech teacher and the tech teacher
teaches over there.
And then that's when he taught the class
about FL Studio.
So then, you know, I've been using
FL Studio ever since
junior high school.
How did you
deal with all of that?
Like, your dad being locked up,

(29:29):
you know, you're not...
I'm not, I mean, I know
that there's a...
New York is a melting pot, but
I mean, how did you deal with just feeling
different?
It was hard. It was real hard
going up, man. I was going through a lot of
tough times and then, you know, my
mom was real hard on me as well.

(29:51):
She put a lot of pressure on me.
To do better, to be better
than everybody else.
It wasn't easy. I was receiving
a lot of pressure and then, you know, our family
didn't really have
a lot of stuff,
which motivated me to work
a lot harder.
It was just you and your mom?
Yeah, that's right. Only me and my mom.

(30:13):
And how often, like, did you see
your dad, like,
behind bars?
Yeah, I mean,
behind bars, I mean,
I guess. How often did you get to visit?
I would try to visit him every chance
I get, but then, you know,
when I was younger, I didn't really have a vehicle
to drive, so I just had to tag along with
other people. Did you hate your

(30:35):
dad a little bit growing up?
No, never. I never hate my
dad.
Never that.
You know, everything
panned out, man. We're all
in good hands, trusting
the Lord.
You're Christian as well. Yes, my whole family
is Christian.
You feel like

(30:57):
your religion gave you
strength. I mean, do you feel like
if you didn't have that, what do you
think would have happened? I mean, is it
something that kept you going or?
Well,
I've always been going to church.
Even now? No,
man. Now I've been going to church a lot less
because there was an incident that happened
to me when I was in junior high school,

(31:19):
and then when I attended church, there was this class
I was going to. Every Friday
and Saturdays, we would go to that class.
And then one time,
there was this huge
other Asian
student that was there. Actually, he wasn't
a student. He was a teacher there.
And then we were in the bathroom, and he
put his hands on me, and he put me in a chokehold
and shit.

(31:41):
And then he was picking on me. He was a motherfucking
bully. So then, you know,
that happened in church.
I told the teacher
about what happened, and nothing
got done. So
I felt like, you know,
when that happened in church, that should be
a safe haven. And that happened.
And I started going to church a lot less.
I haven't gone to church for a while,

(32:03):
actually. That really changed me.
The fact that nobody did
anything about it. And this, you know, this
is the house of the Lord, and
nothing is being done.
Do you feel like
some parts of Christianity are hypocritical
and don't make sense?
Some of it, I'm going to be honest,
some of it does, you know, but
there's a lot of truth

(32:25):
in Christianity as well.
So, it's
something that is important
to you, but at the same time,
I see.
Were you bullied a lot growing up, besides the church?
Oh, yeah.

(32:47):
There was a lot of
moments,
a lot of moments when I was growing up.
Because, you know, when I was growing up,
there was a Latamir Projects,
two blocks away from where I live.
I'm sorry.
Latamir Projects.
Were you the
only Asian person, like, living
in your neighborhood?

(33:09):
There was a few, but Asians were very rare
in my neighborhood.
So, you grew up, like, not around a lot of
Asian people?
I wouldn't say not a lot, but maybe
in schools, there would be like 10-20%
Asians.
So, people fucked with you because of the way you looked,
or whatever? Yeah, definitely.
There was a lot of moments like that.
How did you, like, deal with that?

(33:33):
It was hard to cope, like, you know,
when situations are like that, but...
I felt like, you know, a lot of times I got angry,
and then, you know, there was a lot of
physical fights that broke out.
Or, you know, just
not talking to that person anymore,

(33:55):
or if they were friends, you know,
there was a lot of moments like that, you know, you have good friends, and then...
Do you still
talk to any of the...
I mean...
I mean, if I do bump into them, yeah.
But do you feel like you've kind of
gone your own way, I guess, since...

(34:16):
You're 31.
32. No, no, no, 33 now.
33. I'm 31.
I'm 31.
Do you feel like there's...

(34:39):
You have to leave
part of your life behind, like, I guess,
I mean, I know
you said you have two children as well.
Yes.
And did...
What age were you when you had your first child?
I had my first child, I was like
23.

(35:00):
23.
And then the second one was?
The second one was like, what, 25?
I was 25.
Did that
change you, like having children, or...
That definitely changed me. Having kids
definitely changed my life, man. It's
turned my life around.
It changed the way I thought.
And then, you know,

(35:22):
changed the way I behaved.
It motivated me a whole
lot more. Just for
me to do more for my family.
You know, that I have kids
myself.
I feel like they were a really huge
motivation for me to do a whole lot more.
That's a big fact.
I don't know what

(35:44):
I would do without them.
Even now.
Yeah.
I think about them every day. Whatever I do.
And, you know, I don't
mean to, you know, get too
personal, but basically
you're not on speaking
terms with your
baby mom or wife,
whatever it is right now, right?

(36:06):
That's correct. We had an argument,
we had a falling out last time.
And that was it.
You haven't...
This was actually recent. Maybe like two, three
months ago, but then, you know, we haven't stayed in
contact after that.
So, um,
you said she took, um,
one of the children, right?

(36:28):
She took the
younger child, Charlotte,
to Tampa.
And so right now you're only seeing
one. Claire.
In New York.
And I know you're a
strong person, but
is it...
Definitely it's like fucked up, right?
A little bit. It definitely is, man.

(36:50):
It's very hard. I want to see both of my
kids together, you know.
They're two sisters.
Why even break them apart?
And, um,
since your dad came back
home and everything,
it's only been one year, right?
That's up to grandkids to live it together,

(37:12):
but too much.
Last year, my other kid came back.
They came back.
She was back for like half a year.
How, um, did your life change
a little bit after your dad came back?
Oh, definitely.
Definitely a huge change, you know, having
him around. It's a great time.
You know, catching up on

(37:34):
things we missed out on.
Have you, um,
have you ever been locked up
or charged with anything as well?
I've been locked up before, man.
The first time I got locked up was when I was
17 years old.
I got locked up for a
firearm, possession of a firearm.

(37:56):
You, um...
Well, I guess...
You feel like you had
nobody to maybe talk to or turn to
when you were younger, and maybe that's
why you ended up...
It's not similar, right?
I mean, but...

(38:18):
You feel like you ended up
turning into, um,
street stuff too, because you
just didn't have... Like you said, your mom
is trying to take care of you.
Money is tight.
People are bullying you.
You feel different. Maybe, like,
a little bit alone, like...
There was definitely a lot of pressure

(38:40):
from all of that. A lot of pressure.
Did you deal with that
maybe by, like...
Doing stuff that was, you know, really out of place.
Which, you know,
I know I shouldn't have. You know, there was a lot of
fucked up things
that happened.
But then, you know, it was...

(39:02):
It's like a lesson to be learned.
What did you learn?
I learned that, you know,
there was a lot of remorse.
A lot of regret.
Why?
Because, you know, it was
just wrong. It wasn't the right thing.
Why do you feel like that now?
Is it after your children?

(39:24):
Yeah, after just having
a life, you know.
Having kids, having a whole family.
Just think about it, you know.
This whole world, everybody's the same.
You said you weren't
angry at your dad, but then maybe
were you fucking angry at the world?
Oh, definitely. I was angry at the world.
When I was younger...
Anybody can get it.

(39:46):
When I was younger, it was definitely like that.
I was angry at the world.
But then, you know, as I grew older and I had kids,
I see how the world functions.
And you know, you just gotta adapt.
You gotta do better.
And not turn back and, you know,
do the same things that you did.
Like the mistakes.
You learn from your mistakes. You gotta learn.
Or you'll never change.

(40:08):
You know, the crazy thing is, I think that like,
in society,
a lot of people just look at somebody
with like a gun charge
or some kind of, you know,
violent charge or something. And they think,
you know, automatically, you know,
this person's fucking crazy.
They shouldn't be allowed to walk
in public or whatnot.
But I think people don't think about

(40:30):
why they did what they did.
You know, not everybody
is blessed enough to have
two parents. Not everyone is blessed
enough to have money. Not everyone
is blessed enough to have anybody to talk to.
And when growing
up, especially in America, you don't have
these things.
Who do you turn to then? You know, who do you
talk to? And, um,

(40:52):
I just
think it's very misunderstood.
Like your dad is saying
and like you're saying,
it's not that I wanted
to hurt anybody. It's not that I wanted
to do anything wrong.
But whether it's I didn't have any
guidance or I was misled, I just
didn't know what to do or
where to turn to. And I had all this

(41:14):
energy and I didn't fucking know
what to do with it.
Well, back in school, right, like the schools had
guidance counselors. You know, that
did help though. Talking to the
guidance counselors in school.
I feel like,
you know, having that,
you actually look forward to
seeing your guidance counselor because, you know,
they actually provide you with a lot

(41:36):
of help. Whatever you need,
like they'll actually provide you with
help. That was actually
one of the greatest things.
A guidance counselor.
That's all. And that's like, you know,
as great as that is, it's
almost like sad, right? Because
it's sad because you don't have nobody that's
actually that's close to you.
You're only seeing

(41:58):
somebody that's in school. To the point where
you're looking forward to just
being able to let your guard
down and be
your true self and talk about
what's really on your mind
without being judged, without being
made fun of, without someone telling you
you're wrong, if this isn't good enough.
That's all you had.
So, I mean,

(42:20):
I know, you know, maybe
you don't feel good about the things that you've done
then. But it's also
fucking bullshit. You know, people act like
they're perfect. Like they've never done anything wrong.
It's easy to sit there and
judge somebody, you know?
Ain't nobody perfect though.
That's one thing.
People forget that, you know, just because someone
has gone to jail or got

(42:42):
locked up. They
make you, people make you feel like
you're less, you're not
worth as much as another human being
when they don't know anything about your situation
or what you're going through. And
at the same time, they don't offer any
help either. Yeah. You know?
So it's fucking bullshit.
You know? And I know
like you're not the only person who's

(43:04):
felt like that. Like me included,
anybody who,
most people, unless you're a fucking psychopath,
we're not like stone cold
criminals. We just wanted better for
ourselves and we just didn't
know what to fucking do.
When we were younger, you know, everybody's
made mistakes.
But I

(43:26):
think it's very special that you and your
dad also
can talk about regrets
and say like, you know, I could have
this better or that better because
you'd be surprised, man.
Some people just don't give a fuck.
They don't care. They're going to do it again
and again and again and again. You know?
That's all they have.
So

(43:48):
I mean,
it's amazing and
I think
it's very special
that you're still alive and he's still
alive and nobody's fucking crazy. Great
to have you around.
Great to have you around.
Well, man,
I'm here.

(44:10):
What are
some of the music projects that
you got going or anything you're looking forward to
or?
Still working on a lot of music, man.
Right now, I'm just focused
on, you know, trying to
build.
I'm actually working on a project right now
as a dispensary in Queens.
So, you know, I've been spending a lot of time and

(44:32):
done. Shout out to your, you know, Instagram
or DJ Spontaneous
at DJ
understashed spontaneous. What's the
best way that people can contact
you or reach you?
You could contact me on IG.
Instagram is the
best way. Yeah. You do shows
or? Oh, yeah. I'll be hosting
shows. I got spontaneous entertainment.

(44:54):
We'll be doing a lot of shows.
Is there
any other services you provide
or any other? I'm also a DJ.
I'll be DJing.
OK. Well,
is there
I don't know. I just
want to say that everybody makes mistakes.

(45:16):
But
don't
let it weigh you down.
If you know better, do better.
And we have someone who's locked
up for 29 years. He still has hope.
He's still happy. He still wants to
do better. He's alive. Same thing
here. He's been through some fucked up shit.
I mean, I got my uncle here, too.
He did 28. If you want to introduce him, you know,

(45:38):
put him in a little crib.
Nah.
Everybody makes mistakes. Nobody's perfect.
Don't lose hope.
Whether you're black or Asian
or white or whatever it is,
human beings are all the same.
Don't give up.

(46:00):
That's a wrap, guys.
Alright. Thank you.
I think we could do...